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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
11:25 pm
121 Comments
I was highly disappointed with The Hills this week. How could they deign to air an episode without Lisa Love? This most certainly was NOT the Teen Vogue way of doing things. No matter. It was my only quibble with an otherwise delightful romp into the world Lauren and Heidi and Spencer, and their increasingly strained relationships. If there’s nothing else we’ve learned from this show, it’s that the Sisterhood of the Hillside Villas always wins out over boys and their various boorish tendencies. But sometimes, it takes a little while for the girls to join forces and banish their puffy-haired (or sometimes flat-ironed, in the case of J-Wahl) foes. Case in point: Monday’s episode, which saw Spencer effectively drive a wedge between Heidi and Lauren. In one corner was Lauren, our affable hero, warning Heidi that Team Spencer had a losing record. In the other corner was Spencer, craftily telling Heidi that Lauren just didn’t understand how special their love was. And by “love,” I mean “a relationship wherein Spencer gives Heidi flowers and then flirts with other girls the rest of the night.” Caught between the two of them, we were left to ponder one thing: who would Heidi remain loyal to?This week’s show began with Lauren confronting Heidi about Spencer. You see, Lauren no likey Spencer anymore, and she felt it was her duty, nay, calling to do everything short of waving orange flags and shooting warning signals into the sky to prevent Heidi from resurrecting her relationship. “As her best friend,” Lauren explained to us, “I was the only one who could tell her she was making a mistake.” Technically, several people could tell her she was making a mistake, but I guess Lauren felt her voice would be most respected. Still, I kind of wanted an outsider to broach the subject with Heidi. Maybe Lisa Love could swing by the apartment, stare at her with disdain, yawn, and then observe, “This relationship of yours — it just simply is not the Teen Vogue way of doing things.” She would then add, “Nevertheless, I still prefer you over Lauren. She’ll always be the girl that didn’t go to Paris.” And of course, Lauren would then bite her lip and look down.
Anyway, despite the fact that just a few episodes ago Lauren was defending Spencer, saying that no one else saw the way he gazed into Heidi’s eyes, she now had changed her tune. Now LC was all about preventative care. “I see so many qualities that Jason had in him,” she told Heidi. Lauren never quite elaborated on what those “qualities” were, but I imagine “manipulative,” “vapid,” and “coked up” were high on her list.
Heidi, however, failed to understand the comparison. “It’s just, it’s different,” she said, adding, “For instance, Spencer has no facial hair. Plus, his name starts with an S, not a J. Clearly you’ve misread the entire situation.”
Well, sensing that Heidi was growing defensive, Lauren clammed up a bit, saying that she was afraid Heidi would get mad at her when all she was trying to do was be honest. Heidi, however, commented that she now was worried that there’d be a big elephant in the room whenever they hung out. “Are we not going to be, like, close? Are we not going to be able to like talk?” Heidi then asked, massively blowing the situation out of proportion. I can just imagine her and LC picking out videos at Blockbuster: “Lauren, I know you really want to rent Splash, but I’d like to see Moonlight and Valentino. OMG! OUR FRIENDSHIP IS IN CRISIS!!!”
Ultimately, Lauren proclaimed that she didn’t want to ever socialize with Spencer (a sentiment shared by, you know, AMERICA). “I’m never going to hang out with him,” she declared, adding, “At least, not until I next hang out with Brody. Or you. Or any of our friends. Okay, so I’ll hang out with him quite frequently. However, I refuuuuuse to buy him golf clubs.”
Okay, maybe Lauren didn’t say all that, but she did offer, “I’m going to be there for you when he screws you over. ‘Cause he will!” What? How can one woman be so blasphemous? I say, Lauren Conrad speaks untruths of Spencer Pratt! So what if he’s bound to go through five or six divorces before he’s fifty? HE IS A FINE YOUNG MAN WHO WILL NEVER SCREW OVER HEIDI… assuming she’s in the same room… and her back isn’t turned… and there are no other women within twenty-five feet of Spencer…
After the opening credits, we learned the ominous title of this week’s show, which was not unlike the tagline of some generic horror movie: “YOU HAVE CHOSEN!” I wasn’t sure what this portentous announcement was foreshadowing — perhaps the girls would be winding up on a game show? — but I assumed it had something to do with the whole Lauren-Spencer-Heidi situation.
Sure enough, we soon found Heidi sauntering up to a café where Spencer sat a table and celebrated her arrival with a whistling catcall. I suppose it would be too much to expect Spencer to rise and pull out Heidi’s chair. Anyway, since he wanted to appear at least like the shell of a gentleman (a gentleman with a very, very toothy grin), Spencer handed over a giant batch of long-stem roses (or the Liebeszauber hybrid tea red rose of the species Rosa oxyacantha, as Emily would say). Heidi immediately gushed over this botanical offering, saying, “It looks like a rose garden!” I guess that would be an accurate assessment, assuming all rose gardens were wrapped in brown paper bags. Nevertheless, it truly is amazing how when you gather a bunch of roses together, it looks like a bunch of roses together.
Anyway, Spencer then opted to showcase his classiness by joking (but not really), “I broke the piggy bank for those!” Never mind that he probably picked them up from some woman standing in front of Rite-Aid who he bullied into submission by saying, “Don’t you ever tell Heidi what to wear to work. We all think she dresses cute! Now give me those flowers!!!”
Well, once post-floral high had passed, Heidi redirected her attention onto bigger and better things: namely, spilling the beans about what Lauren had said about Spencer earlier in the episode. Spencer immediately threw his head back, extended his grin widely enough to fit an entire watermelon into his mouth, and then bemoaned, “God, I wish I hadn’t been such a jerk to start out with and made your life easier.” Oh well. I guess this is what we call “consequences.” Of course, this comment just made Heidi warm all the more to Spencer. After all, by admitting he had been a jerk, he showed a level of conscientiousness that gave Heidi a false sense of personal growth in him. Plus, by wishing he had made her life easier, he suggested that he actually did care about her, which was probably as likely as him ever uttering a sentence without copious amounts of lilt.
Anyway, Heidi then mentioned how Lauren had compared Spencer to Jason, but Heidi assured Spencer, “You would never treat me like Jason. You know, it’s different.” For instance, where Jason used Lauren to gain fame and notoriety, Spencer was merely using Heidi for notoriety and fame. I just wish Lauren would open up her eyes AND REALIZE THIS ALREADY!!!! Lay off Spencer! Besides, we’ve since come to learn that Spencer is a sincere man who would never use women for personal gain — as evidenced by this article…
Nevertheless, Spencer reassured Heidi that he was squarely on her team, saying, “Heidi’s my number one!” He then emphasized this by pointing his index fingers in the air, erroneously suggesting that Heidi was actually his number two — or perhaps eleven, depending on your digital-numerical analysis.
Ultimately, the scene ended with the two planning for a slumber party that night, which may or may not have included one of those naked picnics Spencer’s always dying to have. Heidi then returned to her apartment and showed LC the flowers, joking that they were for her. “That’s really nice of him,” Lauren said. “Is he going to give them to Audrina tomorrow?” Oh SNAP! Conrad zinger! Who knew Lauren had such sass pent up in her? Nick Cannon, look out!
Anyway, in the wake of Lauren’s successful zinger, an awkward silence hung in the apartment, causing LC to ignore her roommate and instead lavish attention on her cat, or as I like to call it, Bella 2.0. Meanwhile, Heidi simply packed up an overnight bag and departed for her enthralling slumber party, causing Lauren to let out a disdainful, “Goodnight…” She then added, “I will stay here with the cat and read gossip magazines like any good spinster would!”
“I don’t know where you came from, but you’re my new best friend. You’ll never leave me.”
Well, as exciting as flipping through the pages of Us Weekly or In Touch is, not even a boldly title article named “FAUX?” could keep Lauren away from the siren-call of Audrina’s kitchen, which promised plenty of options for nourishment and merrymaking. Yes, the once despised neighbor invited LC down the hall to share a convivial dinner which The Drina had cooked up with her mom. No word on how the meal turned out, but my culinary expectations were admittedly not high for the women of the Family Pattridge.
Of course, we knew the real reason Lauren was dining avec Audrina was not to indulge her tastebuds but rather to engage in some old fashioned gossip. Yes, before any food was even served, the two quickly began bashing Spencer, and yet again, they rehashed the scandalous Pinkberry story that seems to have shaped this season so. The nattering was put on pause, however, as the girls pondered the best geographical location for their impending feast. “Are we eating at the table?” Lauren asked as if it were the craziest notion to ever hit the Hillside Villas. Sure enough, Audrina decided to throw caution to the wind and assent to Lauren’s table proposal, causing the girls to comment, “Look at us adults!” This was certainly the Teen Vogue way of eating dinner. Personally, I wanted to make fun of the dinner-table/maturity correlation, but then I realized that I pretty much eat every meal in front of my TV on the couch; so really, I’m not one to throw stones in this glass house.
By the way, is it me or does this commercial make you pine for 8th and Ocean more and more each time you watch it?
After the break, we then traveled over to the offices of Teen Vogue where we found some woman wearing what I like to call the Bright Red Mumu-Jumper Pregnancy Frock. I didn’t know who was wearing this unseemly outfit (THE Jane Keltner???), and we only saw it for about half a second, but that was long enough to burn our eyes and cause mass repulsion (Lisa Love would most certainly not approve). We then headed into the intern closet where Whitney was busy asking LC all about the Heidi situation. I have to admit that I missed most of this conversation because I was somewhat distracted by Whitney’s bright pink computer desktop, not to mention the archaic use of Mac OS 9. Apparently upgrading to Tiger is NOT the Teen Vogue way of doing things.
I won’t give Whitney too much of a hard time though. She’s clearly had a rigorous day placing blank stickies on her computer:
Stickies are really most effective when they’re left blank.
While Whit and Lauren babbled away, we found Heidi and Spencer walking the sunny streets of Los Angeles, letting the wind blissfully whistle through their ears. Heidi announced that she had really super-duper fun plans for the weekend. What could they be? A getaway to Mammoth Mountain? A spa trip to Palm Springs? Miniature golf at Boomers? Neither. Her idea was far more original: “Come to the club with me and Lauren tonight.” Wonderful plan. It’s about time these homebodies got off their asses and went to Area! Well played, Heidi!
Shockingly, Spencer said he didn’t want to go to the club because he didn’t want Lauren to be spying on him everywhere he goes. Of course, if he did nothing that warranted her spying, it probably wouldn’t be a problem. Nevertheless, Spencer said he would just rather not go at all. Translation: “I’ll go to another club without MTV cameras and hit on girls there instead.”
Spence then tried to garner sympathy from Heidi, complaining that Lauren was just “not nice to me.”
“She’s gonna try,” Heidi replied, not realizing that at that moment, Lauren was training Bella 2.0 to shred Spencer’s face with her claws of rage.
We then cut to later that night as Lauren and sidekick Jen showed up at Area for a fresh heaping of drama. The girls quietly entered the club, and guess who else was there? That’s right: Spencer. Despite his alleged reservations about partying at Area, we knew the allure of MTV would surely outweigh whatever else he was thinking about doing that night — you know, like putting on some Chopin and curling up with his time-worn edition of War and Peace. Because we know that’s how he spends his free time.
Anyway, Heidi eventually cornered Lauren and asked, “Do my boobs look big? Just kidding. Don’t answer that. But do they?” LC responded with a cold affirmation that seemed to say, “I’m merely tolerating you now.” Looks like Lisa Love was rubbing off on her.
We then cut to Audrina, who was hanging out with some random guy named Clint. We never found out who this mysterious stranger was because our attention was then diverted across the club where Spencer was flirting with a girl, telling her, “Lick my neck, and I’ll come. Trust me.” And as we all know, nothing delights a woman more than to have semen ejaculated onto her in the middle of a club.
Of course, Heidi missed all this because she was busy hanging out with some random Hawaiian/Samoan/Polynesian dude at the other end of the bar. Lauren tried to tell her what Spencer was doing, but Heidi was in no mood. Clearly she was busy discussing the impact of Don Ho on pop culture with her new friend. Brody then swooped in and tried to intervene, asking why Lauren was so adamant about “defending” Heidi from Spencer (I think he meant to use the word “protecting,” but that’s neither here nor there). Before LC could really give a response, Spencer himself pulled her out of the club and announced, “We’re so making peace, by the way.” And nothing says “peace” like an aggressive demand!
Spencer then informed Lauren that “You can hate me. That’s fine,” which then had me wondering why there was a need for peace. Lauren simply explained that every time she saw him at a club, he was hitting on other girls, to which he told her to relax and take a deep breath. Yes, LC. Let the dulcet tones of Spencer’s patronizing voice broker a long lasting peace between you two.
Anyway, Spencer defended his actions by saying, “Heidi knows everything. Heidi gets me, and she knows who I am.” He then added, “She likes that I’m an idiot, and honestly, if she can be okay with my philandering ways, then so should you. Oh, and in case you were wondering, if you glower at me again, I might just ejaculate in my pants. I’m not even joking.”
Understandably, Lauren became pissed with Spencer and his double-talking ways, especially when he tried to spin the entire confrontation as if he were doing this all for the sake of LC and Heidi’s relationship. And if there’s anything we know about Spencer, it’s that he cares deeply about other girls and their friendships. Well, this all annoyed Lauren even more, and she scathed that he didn’t have to worry about her relationship with Heidi — she’d known her longer than he had. And with that, LC disappeared back into the club, leaving a bitter Spencer to declare, “I’m not going five feet from that girl for the rest of my life!” Sooooo… he was planning to stay within a five foot radius of Lauren at all times? Oh wait. He meant he wasn’t going to go five feet near Lauren, not from Lauren. Sorry. Remind me next time to equip my Spencer-To-English dictionary.
After the commercial break, we headed over to Brody’s sizable condo, which looked quite nice in the light of day. The Brodester was currently grilling Lauren about all the drama at Area, asking her why she hated Spencer so much. Seriously, how could Lauren not be on Team Spencer? It’s the only team where the mascot looks exactly like the captain!
Well, Lauren recounted how everyone had warned Heidi not to get involved in something serious with Spencer, causing Brody to ask, “Why were people saying this?” Apparently Brody has yet to actually observe ANYTHING HIS FRIEND HAS EVER DONE.
Inevitably, discussion returned to that ill-fated flowers for Audrina incident, and Brody could no longer play dumb(er). “Of course it was a little bit wrong,” he admitted, “but maybe Spencer feels threatened by you because you’re going to Heidi and saying, ‘Stay away from Spencer. He’s shady. He’s shady.’” So according to Brody-logic, because Spencer felt threatened by Lauren’s tattling ways, he therefore had no other option but to act shady and promiscuous. That makes total sense. Now we see that Spencer isn’t a douchebag. He’s merely the victim of Lauren’s overbearing presence. Sounds like he’s on Team Misunderstood!
Anyway, the two yammered back and forth about the situation, and ultimately, Lauren said that if she was in Heidi’s place, and if she weren’t getting along with her best friend, she wouldn’t be happy. I think this was supposed to have some resonance with us because the camera then lingered on her, but of course, this entire discussion made me want to drown in a pool of flowers handpicked by Emily the intern; so I really didn’t care.
Later on, after Lauren had left, Spencer then arrived at Brody’s condo (still waiting to see Spencer’s apartment, which has curiously been kept off camera). Brody immediately shared everything that Lauren had told him, causing Spencer to complain, “She needs to stop worrying about other people’s lives.” Wasn’t this the same guy who the night before was going out of his way to make sure Heidi and Lauren’s friendship was on the up-and-up?
Anyway, this game of telephone continued quite literally as Spencer sprouted some pit stains and then called up Heidi at work (who had a new, less pleasant ringer). He told her that Lauren “said that she knows that you’re not happy anymore.” I couldn’t tell if it was a blatant lie or merely another example of Spencer completely misinterpreting someone else’s gossip. Of course, it could have been both, and knowing Spencer, if you told him that you were gonna go to the grocery store, he’d probably call up Brody and say, “Brodester, you’ll never guess who’s leaving right now to buy a grocery store and then demolish it and then build a sweet-ass club in its place that I’ll totally have a VIP booth for?”
Nevertheless, Heidi completely balked at the alleged accusation that she was unhappy, saying, “I’m like the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life.” Yes, happier than the time last week when she found a present in her Crackerjacks. Yes, happier than the time she played with a tinfoil ball for three hours straight. And yes, happier than the time she saw a cloud in the sky that reminded her of pudding. Heidi was so happy with Spencer, she was like a low-rent version of Nicole Kidman in a Chanel ad.
“I’m a dancer!”
“I love to dance!”
Well, having effectively created a void between the two girls, Spencer continued his campaign of divide-and-conquer. “I don’t see how you guys can live together anymore,” he said, not so subtly. Funny how Heidi keeps getting mad at her own friends based solely on what Spencer puts into her mind.
Meanwhile, over at FIDM, Lauren showed up in class for what may have been the first time all semester, but despite her best efforts, she simply could not concentrate at all on her work. Instead she gazed out at nothing in particular, depressed and saddened by the current state of affairs with Heidi. She was so consumed with gloominess that she barely seemed to notice that her teacher was none other than Nick from Project Runway 2. Best reality fashion class EVER. Too bad we didn’t get a cameo from Nick’s sister, or as most people know her, RITA FROM SURVIVOR: FIJI.
Most distracting reality cameo EVER.
Anyway, after a long day of staring at her hands and ignoring Nick Verreos, Lauren returned home to Heidi, who was ready to bicker.
“Do you think I’m unhappy?” she asked, adding, “Because I had a DELIGHTFUL time today thinking about jelly beans!”
Lauren, however, didn’t skip a beat. With Bella 2.0 crawling all over the place like the nosy little cat she is, Lauren said she didn’t think Heidi was unhappy. She clarified that what she had told Brody was that she herself wouldn’t be happy if she were on the outs with her best friend. This caused Heidi to remark, “I feel like I have to choose between you and Spencer,” to which Lauren replied, “You don’t have to choose.”
Oh. Okay. Cool.
Oh wait, Lauren wasn’t done.
“BUT YOU HAVE CHOSEN!” she added. Dunh dunh DUNH! Lauren then claimed she was the only one honest enough to tell Heidi to her face that Spencer sucked, and now she was paying the price for it. And you know what? NEXT TIME SHE WOULDN’T BE SO HONEST!!! (Insert throttled sob somewhere in the middle there).
“You don’t have to choose between me and Spencer. But you do have to choose between me and this cat I found.”
“Just… just TAKE HIM!!!! YOU HAVE CHOSEN!!!”
Well, Heidi told Lauren that she was one of the most important people to her ever, but that didn’t explain why Heidi hadn’t made any time whatsoever for LC! Ah, the lonely Master. Is there a more heartbreaking sight?
After the girls had talked in enough circles, Lauren finally pulled out her trump card. She asked how Heidi would feel if she said she was hanging out with Jason again. “That’s a whole different issue,” Heidi said, happily traipsing through a field of daffodils and hummingbird in her private world of delusion.
LC then explained that she took a risk by telling Heidi her true feelings about Spencer, and what did Heidi do? She immediately went off and told Spencer that Lauren hated him. Of course, Heidi denied this. “I didn’t say ‘Lauren hates you. Lauren hates you,’” she said, adding, “I simply explained that Lauren had a distinct and passionate dislike for you and your forever smiling balloon head.”
Sadly, Lauren then mentioned the roses again. No, not the roses Spencer had given Audrina. She was referring to the roses she thought Spencer had given her. Time for a bombshell: “I was just joking!” Heidi revealed. You mean… those roses… they really were for… Heidi???
Feeling humiliated and dumb, LC just stared at her friend, an uncomfortable silence unfolding that not even Bella 2.0 could withstand. No surprise how this wound up. Lauren stormed off to her bedroom, slammed the door shut behind her, and demanded to be left alone.
With nothing else to do, Heidi then pulled out a suitcase and packed her bags. Was she leaving for good? Probably not. But she was headed to balloon-face’s apartment. Yes, this was a baaad fight — so bad that the producers were left with no other choice but to play Dido over the closing credits. You know it’s rough going when Dido rears her ugly head.
Next week, it looks like things between Lauren and Heidi might be slightly better. But then again, it also looks like Heidi will be orchestrating some sort of revenge scheme using Jen as her pawn. So the answer is yes, I am crazy crazy excited.
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121 Comments
awesome recap as always. i’m starting to think b-side is a woman. (confirm of deny). i thought the link to the PEOPLE article was classic. also randomly, im getting more and more distracted and annoyed at how much LC plays with her hair.
I’m not actually a woman, but I think the generally emmasculating effects of watching this show in the first place may be taking a toll.
ok. When Heidi and Spencer were having lunch, I was entranced by all the teeth at that table. The teeth, man, so many teeth. So large and gnashing and….Whoever said Lauren has to stop with the hair is dead on. Is it a nervous habit? What is it? Besides annoying?
Spencer is a total tool. Yeah, I said it.
Bwah! That will never get old for me.
I’ve been saying over and over that Broday and Spencer are jerks, here’s the proof:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20012316,00.html
Great recap, but why the hate for Dido??
B-Side, why aren’t you recapping the Amazing Race? Awesomeness can only dream of being as awesome as you…
Great recap, I laughed the whole way through. I feel bad for Lauren having been in that position myself, but sometimes you just have to say what you need to say and leave it at that. Heidi needs to learn for herself just like Lauren did. Everyone warned her about Jason and she still took him back so, she is kind of being a hypocrite.
I think the fact that Spencer claims he would come simply by having his neck licked explains AN AWFUL LOT
Lauren needs to let Heidi go. Maybe Heidi will wake up and realize how stupid she’s being, but honestly, NOTHING Lauren says will change her opinion. And Lauren has to deal with consequences of being a good friend . . .she has to expect to be cut off because things will be awkward as long as Heidi is with the asshole.
If some of the Lisa Love disdain has rubbed off on Lauren I find that to be a good thing.
I’m starting to turn around on Spencer…this show needs a dirtbag to be interesting. If he was acting all saintly it would be boring. Bravo Spency, you know how to work those cameras.
Here’s the original article about Brody and Spencer. They are both tools and major fame whores. Highlights include Spencer talking about wanting to videotape him and Heidi having sex and then posting it on the internet. What a charmer.
http://men.style.com/details/features/full?id=content_5346
This re-affirms why I think most boys suck.
oh my gosh. i’m so glad that someone posted the actual article from details. i had read the bit about spencer wanting to videotape himself and heidi and couldn’t wait to see what b-side had to say about it. what a loser-how can heidi possibly read (and of course by read i mean have someone read to her) things like this and still be with this guy? but i guess if you think it’s ok for your boyfriend to pimp you out for a magazine cover in your bikini, then taping you having sex isn’t that much of a stretch. she might be too stupid for me to feel sorry for her…
B-Side, I love you.
From the moment I saw the first screen cap I knew this recap was going to be pure gold. I could not take my eyes off of the teeth on Spencer! Funny enough, that Details article supplied this little gem:
Pratt, also 23, and the son of a “celebrity dentist,”
You couldn’t even make that kind of shit up!! Love it!
Spencer is such a f*cking little gnome. “Lick my neck and I’ll come.” Yeah that is what prepubescent girls in America who watch MTV need to see….Spence Dog’s O face. Brody is the biggest himbo on television. He jocks girls for publicity….kinda like a whore. Lauren is doing her best to keep these creeps out of her life and her bff’s vajayjay and all Heidi can do is stick her head up her own fat ass and be fooled by roses and slumber parties. But then again maybe Heidi is playing the Spence to get some free bridge work from Papa Spencer. I doubt Bolthouse has premium a dental package.
PS- Does Heidi’s walk annoy anyone else? She walks like she has a potato chip up her ass and she is trying not to break it.
Does Heidi realize that Spencer makes her look retarded??? Not like that is a hard thing to do, but seriously, can she be that f’ing stupid?? Anyone with a gpa of 1.0 and higher can see this dude is scum. And to top it all off what does he have?? Good looks? Um that would be NO!! Talent?? No. Intelligence? Nay. Good personality? Ha!! Oh he has money…that explains it. Apparently his rich daddy is a “celebrity dentist” which would explain the ginormity of his goofy smile. Remind me NEVER to go to a “celebrity dentist” or I’ll end up looking like the Cheshire Cat on acid.
Heidi you look REALLY REALLY….well……moronic…..dim-witted…..asinine…..and weak minded!!
And kudos to Lauren for finally gaining a back bone!!
At the end of the show when they were showing Lauren in school (looking thoroughly bored by the way), was her teacher one of the contestants from Project Runway? I think Season 2?
Another fabu recap! My whole day was thrown off yesterday without it.
Did anyone notice in the previews for next week Lauren says that Jen can’t get on Brody because she used to date him? Funny that Lauren’s little sister and mother believe that once a relationship is over, the boy is fair game.
Thank you, B-Side. You magician, you. Four points:
(1) When Spencer made that “lick my neck and I’ll ****” comment, it was pretty obvious that he had said “come,” but had to rewind several times anyway because our brains REFUSED to compute that an actual person would drop that line.
(2) Has anyone else noted the vein/tendon/artery/other that is literally straining out of Spencer’s neck in every scene? Don’t know what to make of it, but he may want to switch to decaf with his muscle breakfasts.
(3) MTV cameras, bring us into Spencer’s apartment. Must see it!
(4) Yes, Heidi’s walk has become ridiculous. You’re not on a runway, m’dear.
ok – I think that when Lauren was comparing Jason to Spencer, Heidi was wrong. She said that it’s different with Spencer – implying that Spencer is a better guy than Jason. However, I think – and I may be totally wrong about this – that Jason actually did care about Lauren. Maybe he cared in a strangely-obsessive, jealous, coked up way, but I still think their relationship was legit. I don’t think he just wanted to be on camera. Maybe I’m wrong, but he seemed to be, for the most part, genuine. Spencer, on the other hand, does not seem to care at all about Heidi. He CLEARLY just wants to be on MTV. He’s a fame-whore & I doubt he truly cares about her. She thinks he cares more about her than Jason did about Lauren, but I think it’s the opposite. – Anyway, that’s just my opinion.
Also, I want to know what happened to Bella??? – And where did that cat come from???
One more thing, – I cannot WAIT for next week. If Brody and tantastic Jen hook up, I think I might vomit. She’s gross & if she does hook up with him, she’s a total hypocrite – I just don’t like that girl – WHERE’S LO WHEN YOU NEED HER???
B-side,
Is it tiring to rule so hard? You are abnormally hilarious. Gotta love the random Sabrina/Kelly and “I love to dooonce!” Nicole Kidman commercials. Too funny. Heidi is an idiot but Lauren needs to chillax. Friends are stupid and will date stupid guys. Nothing you can do about it but voice your opinion in a non-psycho way. These people need to read a book and stay home sometimes. But I guess if you had a camera crew following you around, you would feel obligated to be dramatic. You couldn’t just go home and eat Ramen noodles and watch TV all night. You’d have to go to Area and cry about your emotions. Spencer is the embodiment of “tool.” Oh wait, I forgot, according to him it is forbidden to call someone a tool “in this town.”
Such as the shape of his head?
Thank you to the person who posted the details interview – Spencer is such a douche. Wanting to sell a sex tape? What kind of girl dates a guy like that?
I can see where Lauren is coming from – she knew it put her in a bad spot to tell her friend the truth, but at least she put herself out there for it.
I swear I saw the dog in the first episode. Heidi walked in the door to their apt. and there was something bouncing on the floor – she made a happy face and then started talking to Lauren. I remember thinking, “Well, at least she didn’t get rid of the dog.” Anyone else catch that? I could be crazy…
You’re right, Mrs. Meow – I do remember Heidi saying that & I even think she said “Hi Bella” – I guess we’ll never know what happened to that dog!………………..
Spencer is a classic manipulator.
-Goes behind his girl’s back to hit on other girls, but never does anything physical so it can’t technically be called cheating
-Uses flowers, dinners, and “slumber parties” to show his affection instead of just not being a general asshole
-Enlisting his comrades to distract his girl’s friends while he seduces
-Separates his girl from her friends who might be warning her, by playing them off each other
-Acting as if anyone who tells his girl differently is a liar, crazy, or jealous of their love
anybody else notice:
laurens hair looks horrible.a greasy mess.
heide walks with a runway strut at all times now.
spencer looks like mr potato-head
[IMG]http://i15.tinypic.com/2gy3jic.jpg[/IMG]
Was it just me or when they were at the club when Lauren and Spencer had that fight….were they all wearing the same thing as the night that Heidi surprised Spencer becuase she missed her plane??? I swear, i bet that was the same night!!!
What kind of girl? Hmm.. could it be… Paris Hilton?
Oh, thank God – I thought I was losing my mind when that cat showed up and I “couldn’t remember” where it had come from. Obviously it wasn’t just me.
I have to hand it to Lauren – she’s obviously seen the light in terms of what Jason put her through and the kind of guy he was all along, and she wasn’t afraid to look like the bad guy and tell Heidi what an idiot she was for taking Spencer back. *That’s* a good friend.
As for Heidi, where did that WALK of hers come from??? I’ve only noticed it the last two episodes. Did Spencer tell her to “walk ‘sexy’”? She looks ridiculous.
To borrow a quip from Bad Girl Aimee: These two make a perfect couple because they are both retarded.
my thai,
that comment is absolutely perfect.
Spencer doesn’t have a forehead. THAT’s A FIVE-HEAD!
He’d show up at one of those Dateline “To Catch a Preditor” kiddie sex stings if it would get him more air time.
Heidi gave her dog, Bella, away to a friend because she wasn’t home enough to take care of her and she thought it wasn’t fair to the dog. Mystery solved!!
Thanks for clearing that up Mrs. Condrad! I was wondering what happened to Bella.
Hi Mrs. Conrad! =D
Do you think Spencer is better or worse than Jason?
Lauren is a crazed dramatic loser. Sure Spencer is a jerk. She lives in LA! She needs to acting like someone shot both her parents!
Moodylupin: spencer is WAY worse than jason. there was something amusing about jason perpetually being as a kite and having that devil-may-care attitude toward LC. Its pretty excrutiating to watch spencer try to be all kissy-face with heidi
k-conrad: sounds like a plausible story, but just curious – how do you know?
donantonio: did the lovebirds ever attend said restaurant for valentines day? still dying to know! wonder if he bleeped in his pants when he put the first nacho into his big toothy maw
Yep, lovedoctor, i think so to.
All about Spencer is fabricated, forced and with hidden intentions flying all over.
I was wondering what were K Conrad thoughts on Jason’s and Spencer’s SUCKINESS.
Ha, lovedoctor! Hard to say what went down with them on Valentine’s Day. Those cameras seem to be annoyingly selective about where/when they follow (hey, MTV – follow Spencer to work one Monday morning)! Actually, I’m sure that nothing happened on V-Day, since that “relationship” seems so staged. And I mean all of it. To use a B-sideism, I’m calling shenanigans.
Speaking of which, just read that men.style link above, and there’s more than a bit to chew on there. Not sure I digested it correctly, but some random 24 year old guy is financing Brody and (some of) Spencer’s lifestyles? Umh, WHAT?
Good for Lauren for standing up to that squid Spencer. Next time he gives you some mouth, punch him him right in his teeth LC. He would crumble up in the fetal position like the little girl that he is.
For those who don’t read the Laguna Beach recaps…
K Conrad = the real Mrs. Conrad
When Audrina was with that guy Clint, did anyone else, for a second, think that the t.v. screen said CUNT? Just the way the L and the I were together, it looked like it. Made me laugh, anyway.
I was on TEAM LAUREN all the way this episode!
I totally squealed, “Nick!” when he came on the screen. It’s definitely the best reality TV crossover ever. And, the most distracting cameo since the Sabrina/Kelly commercial.
Oh, how I miss 8th & Ocean….
You owe me a new monitor, mine was ruined when I sprayed Diet Coke all over it (I’m not even kidding!)after reading this delightful little sentence:
“While Whit and Lauren babbled away, we found Heidi and Spencer walking the sunny streets of Los Angeles, letting the wind blissfully whistle through their ears.”
Best one, ever. bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
BTW, why is Lauren’s hair so greasy?
Heidi walked like she had a corn cob shoved up her ass in this episode.
Actually, the cat made it’s first appearance in the same episode with Bella (before she went to go live on a “farm”). Lauren’s cat looks a lot like mine, albeit fancier, so I took notice.
Great re-cap B-Side!
Lauren- The night when Heidi surprised Spencer at the club after “missing her plane” was not the same night as last episode’s night where Spencer and Lauren fought, Lauren’s hair was crimped in tight almost perfect little waves the night of the surprise, in the last episode Lauren wore her hair in softer waves. Yes I remembered these insignificant details! lol
After reading the Details article, I have to say it disappoints me to know Brody is such a jerk too.. I was hoping maybe he wasn’t so bad, it was wishful thinking because he’s cute and *seemed* sweet (yet cheesy). But uggh Spencer is such a pig! Well they both are.
QueenV – thanks for posting the Details article.
Well, dang they really put their intentions out there, and people are still trying to hook up with these people…so sad. I don’t get it.
I couldn’t believe how Brody was actually trying to guilt Lauren into thinking she was a bad guy. There’s another warning flag for you Lauren about Brody. If he’s defending a slime ball (for lack of a more witty word) like that you gotta wonder what his double standards are.
And another reason, amongst all other obvious ones, of why I don’t like Spencer is that he’s a manipulator and a slick-talking bully. What’s with the, “We are so making peace, right now!” Like he’s trying to tell her what to do. I was glad Lauren stood up to him, but wish she could’ve been more harsh and just embarrassed his ass.
Yes! I finally get to comment on B-Side’s recaps! They’re the best btw
As I’m England, we get all MTV shows centuries after they aired in America so I come on here to catch up with my faves.
This episode was just so intense and after watching it(downloaded of course bah), it made me like Lauren 100x more. Who said that chick didnt have a backbone? I love that she stood up to spencer and didn’t try to mince her words when she was talking to him and that she also let Heidi know what she truly thought of her dumb relationship with the dentist’s son. Spencer is making Heidi look dumb beyond belief.
B-Side your re caps are the best. Yes I too miss 8th and Ocean soo….
I think Lauren did the right thing about telling Heidi that Spencer is such a jerk. However, she should have left it at that. Spencer is trying to twist her words and make it look like Lauren is the bad guy now. He’s a total creep and eventually Heidi will realize that.
Can’t wait for more next week!
I can barely stand to watch when Spencer is on the screen; he has helmet-hair and a frying-pan face. He makes me want to rinse my eyeballs in acid.
I thought most famewhores were just dumb, but Spencer seems to be dumb AND devious. Is that possible?
And finally, hooray for the return of Lauren’s backbone and the return of K Conrad to the comments section!
I agree completely with the poster noting that Jason actually cared about Lauren and the difference between him and Spencer. Spencer is truly vile. VILE. I also don’t get it. Why does a very pretty girl like Heidi put up with this? I could see if it was Brody, he’s at least handsome. Spencer, on the other hand, is ugly, bordering on funny looking. And that voice! Good god, it’s grating. He’s also so repulsively slimey, I don’t know how Heidi keeps a straight face.
Brody, too, is slimey/cheesy. At least Lauren called him on it. They both ooze out these ridiculously insincere compliments,’Hi beautiful’..ugh.
After reading the Details article I’m sick to my stomach.
Spencer & Brody = Slime
Maybe Spencer isn’t playing Heidi at all. Maybe she is in on the whole thing, sex tape and all. Perhaps they are 2 conniving, shady LA tool soulmates! After all, there’s someone for everyone. She wants to extend her fame and he will help her, so maybe she’s not as innocent/naieve (sp?) as everyone thinks.
Didn’t we learn from Laguna that the cast doesn’t get to watch the show until a few days before it airs?
Can you imagine being Heidi, sitting with Spencer watching this episode?
In the same night club & he’s on the other side of the room telling someone else how she can make him “oh you know”?
**not sure of the average age of TVgasm posters**
He has sold her a bill of goods; he’s going to make her famous & she bought it.
She’s going to put up all his nonesense because she is laboring under the delusion that he’s some kind of Hollywood player.
And Lauren had to learn the hard way that it doesn’t pay to get between a girl and her man. At least she has a clear conscience. Given all the proof that Heidi had already been presented with and ignored, LC was just wasting her breath and sadly it probably cost her a good friend.
Hi, kettle, it’s Lauren. You’re black.
Where does Lauren come off acting like she can say whatever she wants about Spencer, and that Heidi is a terrible person because she chose to give him another chance??! She did the SAME THING.
I would take Spencer over Jason in a heartbeat. At least Spencer seems reasonably intelligent enough to have a conversation with, as opposed to Jballs, who was so coked out and stoned all the time he couldn’t pronounce his last name.
Ugh Lauren makes me so MAD! She seems to have a very short fuse for anyone that doesn’t agree with her on things. Control freak much?
So, I was just thinking to myself – what happened to K Conrad? I had completely forgotten that she was posting during LB, and I haven’t been watching for her. I came over to here to ask if she has posted anything recently…and there she is!
Hi Mrs. Conrad! Nice to see you!
Heidi’s an idiot and Spencer is probably the biggest prick on TV right now. Which I’m sure is what he wanted. Let’s face it — everyone knows who he is now. Brody too. So Heidi and Spencer together is saving other people from having to date them.
Hi, K Conrad!
It’s nice to see you on the boards again!
Spencer is out of his league, he reminds me of Robert Chambers (The Preppy Murderer) – except Robert Chambers was actually a pretty charming guy, and he was good-looking.
Spencer is a Narcissist, and his current “management” of Heidi borders on pimping as far as I’m concerned. Celebutards like Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, etc., have created a standard of celebrity that is tasteless, exploitative, and, in my opinion, very damaging to other young girls.
I am absolutely disgusted and appalled by the homemade sex tapes, the lack of under-garments, and the promiscuity that has become an acceptable mode of behaviour for these girls. I genuinely like Heidi, and I hope she does not agree to a video of herself with Spencer in bed.
Spencer is manipulative, controlling, and he has a serious mean-streak. He has the potential to really damage Heidi emotionally, psychologically, and possibly physically. I hope her parents are able to intervene after this airs, she’s headed down a slippery-slope.
Regardless of how sexually liberated people think our society has become, men still don’t want to commit to a woman who has been with a lot of men, or allowed herself to be intimately shared on a global basis. A whore is just a whore, and it doesn’t matter if she’s whoring around in Dolce & Gabbana, or Wal-mart clothes.
Seriously, is there anyone out there who doesn’t think Paris Hilton is skank?
OK, I’m off the soapbox now! Kudos to Lauren for standing her ground with Spencer, and doing the right thing by Heidi – I thought that was a VERY Teen Vogue way of doing things! LiLove would have approved, icily – but approved, nonetheless.
If Heidi is still with Spencer after that Details article then she is a bigger idiot than I thought. Of course he is going to say that he was trying to get with all the girls on The Hills, and then he just so happened to fall in love with her? Right. She just so happened to be the biggest idiot on the show who would fall for his crap.
That article literally made me sick. I can hardly stand watching this show anymore because of that kid. I really hope Lauren isn’t friends with that moron anymore
Great Recap as always B-side!
OMG! I forgot to mention Nick Verreos’!!! I love him!
Now, bye.
Cheez-TV-Addict – you couldn’t be more right about Spencer. He pretty much is a pimp, and those around him are letting him pimp them out. It’s so sad.
I think Jason and Spencer are completely different people. Jason had his issues, but I think he really loved Lauren. Spencer is in a league of his own. I didn’t think he was coming off very well in the show, but the Details article confirmed he is not a good guy.
As for Lauren trying to talk to Heidi about Spencer… Lauren really cares about Heidi and knows Heidi is with a bad guy. Heidi helped Lauren break up with Jason and now Lauren is trying to return the favor. As for Brody, Lauren was really hurt after reading that article. Hard to believe people use other people like that.
Did anyone notice last weeks episode when Emily was babbling about chinoise vases and Lauren had no clue what she meant?
“But Lauren didn’t go to Paris…”
I will never understand how people with so much money and luxury in their lives cant do something as simple as acquire proficiency in a language besides English!
Chinoise === French for Chinese!
Why are NYU girls so much cooler than anything on the west coast? Could it be that we’re the ones who make the trends, and Lauren and Holly exemplify everyone who just follows??
“Seriously, how could Lauren not be on Team Spencer? It’s the only team where the mascot looks exactly like the captain!”
That might be one of the funniest things I have ever read, ever.
Haha, did I just get busted by Kathy Conrad?
Kathy–I don’t know your daughter. I’m just saying that the way she is coming off on TV is a tad hypocritical.
And furthermore. Jason cared so much about Lauren that he repeatedly broke up with her, put her down on public television, acted like a jerk on New Year’s, kissed Jessica, etc. etc.?? I just don’t buy it.
I think it was easy for Heidi to help Lauren break up with Jason, because Lauren realized (as she said on the show) that he wasn’t making her happy, and she was crying every day. So that was more or less a mutual Heidi/Lauren thing. But now, despite what a jerk Spencer is (which I do agree with), Heidi does seem happy and has made the decision to be with him. But now Lauren is upset and can’t respect that? Or is it possible she is just miffed that Spencer told her he doesn’t like her, and is probably the first person to ever do so (to her face, at least).
Something to ponder.
Not trying to defend Jason at all, but wasn’t he bi-polar? That’s not always an excuse, but I know someone who is bi-polar and he definitely had problems that affected me but had nothing to do with me.
Also, Jason was already on Laguna when he met Lauren, so I don’t think he was trying to use her for fame or anything. Spencer on the other hand . . .yeah. . .
I definitely agree with K Conrad about Jason. I absolutely think he loved Lauren – I just think he was a very insecure, jealous person. There were episodes last season where he’d have serious conversations with Jordan (Heidi’s ex) & talk about Lauren & you could tell he loved her. He wasn’t in it just to be on tv – he was already popular from Laguna Beach.
After reading the Details article, you see what Spencer and Brody are all about. And the fact that they flaunt it instead of trying to hide it makes me dislike them even more.
I’m not going to pull any punches, I’m on Team Conrad.
I am no fan of *-Bahl’s, and I suspect he has a LOT of issues. People with emotional or psychological problems often self-medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. Jason by all accounts is really unstable, from what we saw of his treatment of Lauren he was obviously not capable of a loving, committed, and mature relationship; however, that doesn’t neccesarily mean he didn’t love her. If K Conrad believes he did, that’s good enough for me, what would she possibly have to gain by saying it if it weren’t true?
Spencer is a glorified pimp, who seems to be an expert at drawing people in and exploiting them. I think Lauren’s ability to shut him down at the nightclub really pissed him off, and he will do everything he can to try and isolate Heidi from her friends. Classic maneuver for a Narcissist, and potential abuser to make.
Lauren may have made a mistake with Jason, but she’s clearly learned a valuable lesson about how to recognize and handle toxic people. I can definitely relate to falling for guys like Jason, the combination of excitement and neediness can be really powerful – the hardest thing to do is breakup with them, and stay broken up. I give Lauren a LOT of credit for standing firm on that.
Spencer Pratt and Brody Jenner are victimizers, and they prey on naive girls for a reason.
Heidi was a good friend to Lauren, and I’d bet money on the fact that when she finally does get away from Spencer (and I hope she does!), Lauren will support her without question. I genuinely hope that Heidi does not come away from that relationship with any permanent damage.
BTW NYWord, for someone who obviously wants to come off as sophisticated and educated, that was one of the most ignorant postings I’ve ever seen.
JHill – yes, I definitely saw CUNT instead of CLINT. I had to do a double-take, and then laugh. A lot. Sucks for him.
I really feel sorry for Heidi that she can’t see what a horrible person Spencer is. If she watches this season and doesn’t dump his sorry ass, SHE’S the one with the problem.
I think Lauren is just trying to be protective of Heidi, considering how much Jason apparently hurt her. That said, Spencer is even worse than Jason, so he could turn Heidi catatonic. Maybe Lauren should just sit back and let Heidi make her own mistakes, but she doesn’t want her to get hurt. PLUS, it appears Heidi just ain’t learnin’.
It’s pretty easy to sit back and be all judgemental about the character portrayals MTV wants us to see, but truly, Spencer is an over the top chowderhead. You can’t blame editing for his outrageousness! How ANY girl could find him even remotely attractive is beyond me.
I really hope we get to see Heidi permanently defect from team Spencer — and SOON!
I noticed that last season Jordan’s myspace said that he and Heidi were still dating up until they broke up on the show.. Perhaps it’s that way with Spencer too? Hopefully.
I met a girl yesterday who used to date Brody Jenner, and she pretty much said he was an idiot (and Spencer too). Not that this is earth-shattering news, but it just adds more fuel to the fire.
B-Side, did she give you any dirt???? Not like we need any more… and not like it would change anything… never mind
Great re-cap B-Side. The news you received about Brody and Capt. Shitbag must have really knocked you off your feet. Thank the young lady for confirming what the world already knew.
B Side,
you must hang with a pretty cool crowd! how did you happen to meet a former girlfriend of brody?? how did it come up in the first place? we readers all need to know many more details about what she told you brody and spencer were like. and most critically, was it hard to grill her about details and try to remain incognito, shielding your true identity as THE true B side??
I think NYWord is Emily.
Ahhh I’m finally home¦ The return of Kathy Conrad AND Laguna Consultant in the same week. Now that’s a groundbreaking week on the boards¦
I’m finally out of the hospital from the near death beating I received at the hands of my friends after they became aware of blueberry tracksuit gate. Haha just kidding, those bruises and black eyes healed up pretty quick¦
Not that any of you care, but my absence from these boards has been a huge blow to my life. Granted, I was away because I got a huge job promotion that caused me to be able to move out on my own, but not being able to comment on the king of douchebags Spencer because I couldn’t afford to get the internet at first in my new apartment, and my new office having a block on Tvgasm(sounds too much like orgasm?) has been extremely painful. But, as of today, I’m back in full force, and ready to rain hell on all people, places and things in the wonderful world of the Hills that make Lauren’s life difficult.
Cleaning out my closet:
1)Could they have opened up the season with a better beginning than the end of Jason in the first 5 minutes? I say no. I felt like Mel Gibson at the end of Bravheart. FREEEEEEDOM. Little did I know, I would be pining for the days of 8-Bahl less than 20 minutes later. I agree with everyone’s statements that Jason was 100x better than Spencer and Brody because he wasn’t openly malicious with his intentions, but lets not jump off the deep end and start anointing our hairy friend a saint because “he really loved Lauren.” Unfortunately for Mr. Montana, you can’t truly love someone else when your already in love with yourself. Jason looked out for one person, and one person only, and that was number 1. If you agreed with him, great. If you didn’t agree with him, too bad he was going to do it anyway. Lauren’s birthday was a perfect example. I’m gonna paraphrase and adlib: “Umm I claim to love Lauren, but even though its HER birthday and she wants to stay in, III want to go out and party, so I’m going to argue with her about it as long as possible. Then, when I realize I can’t win, I’ll agree to stay in and try to make her feel guilty by looking as miserable as possible. Happy birthday sweetheart”
2)Heidi might well be the most pathetic person I have ever watched on TV (Sorry Colie.) Her winning personality of being spoiled, naive, stuck-up, blonde and selfish have shown through this season more than I could have ever imagined or hoped. The sad thing is, I really think that she believes she’s better than everyone else, and that she’s always pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes because she’s smarter than everyone too. Her birthday party was the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen. All hail princess Heidi Montag. Who the hell is Heidi Montag? I’ll tell you who Hedi Montag is, she’s a glorified sidekick who was fortunate enough to be able to ride her masters coattails to D level celebrity status. Too bad Jason wasn’t around for the party, because he always seemed to be able to put her in her place. The fashion show comes to mind¦
Heidi: “Hey Jason hows Je¦”
Jason: “SHUTTUP”
Heidi: “Hey!”
I’m gonna kill this off here for now since this post has been a little long. Good to see(read) the familiar faces that made their way over to this board after the Laguna season. B-Side still hasn’t lost his touch, but the captions have been the things that have really stood out so far this season. I personally cannot wait to hammer Spencer and Brody with all of you, I figured I’d save my thoughts on them for another occasion. I’ll see you guys all tomorrow for the start of sidekick rebellion 2007. Jen better run and hide, because I like roasting my sidekicks until they are nice and orange.
Haha yea it’s either Emily or Lisa Love herself. Have they ever made a comment that looks like this?
“Lauren is not a very intelligent human being. She is very fortunate that the telivision station music tv follows her around or else she would have never attained such a lofty position as an intern at THE Teen Vogue. Personally, I would have gone to Paris, but that’s just me I guess. Toodles.”
Then again, Ms. Love would never soil her hands by posting on a site as barbarian as TVGasm. Your right, it must be Emily.
LagunaConsultant! Welcome back! As soon as K Conrad commented on here, I immediately thought, “Where’s LagunaConsultant?” I thought you only commented on Laguna Beach, and refused to upgrade to The Hills (YES this season is an upgrade).
Brody and Spencer only survive in places like LA. Bring them to Oakland.. we’ll show them who calls who a tool and gets away with it. And show them the real meaning of “assault.”
boo to those who trash Lauren. She’s beautiful, sweet, and real and we wouldn’t have a show without her!
I’m not Emily. I go to NYU and I just happened to notice that in that episode the producers are making fun of Lauren without her realizing it. I didn’t think it was such an inside joke though cause more people than me know French (except Lauren).
She couldve been nicer to Emily and then she wouldnt have gotten all walked over by her. But Lauren seems to be incapable of associating with anyone she won’t let get the upperhand.
Girls like Emily at NYU are few and far between. She presents herself as a know-it-all but she’s just showing off the trappings of her wealth. Notice how I said in my original comment how sad it is that rich people buy everything but knowledge? Emily’s a rich girl herself, so she wouldnt have written that.
And don’t call me out for going to NYU that I have to be rich too. NYU takes the best, the brightet, but the richest, eh. Theyre just as dumb as any California bitch.
“When Audrina was with that guy Clint, did anyone else, for a second, think that the t.v. screen said CUNT? Just the way the L and the I were together, it looked like it. Made me laugh, anyway.”
JHILL, I so thought it
said CUNT.
Bside, nice Nicole Kidman-Heidi correlation!
Good to be back. Don’t worry, Spencer may be on team Heidi, but I’m on team whatever show Lauren is on
IJust watch, I was thinking the same thing! Yelling assault in a situation like that would really get you smacked silly in these parts.
Welcome back, LagunaConsultant!
Wow, it’s just like the old days (er, three months ago).
btw — I really don’t have any good gossip about Brody and Spencer. I didn’t know this girl very well, and I wasn’t in a situation where I could really pry. She just seemed disgusted by the two of them.
Hi LagunaConsultant, good to hear you survived the beating from your friends. Are you ready to stir some things up with me?
To reeeeelbigfish – I really wasn’t busting you, you are entitled to your opinion. I was actually answering moodylupin’s question to me.
To: NYWord – I must confess that it is my fault for never teaching Lauren the importance of knowing what a “chinoise vase” was. Actually, I didn’t know what it was myself. I guess I’m just another rich dumb Cali girl (or bitch, as you like to put it). I was too busy trying to teach her other things, not thinking she was better then someone and how to be a good friend. I think Emily is a beautiful, classy and smart young woman. I was very impressed with her, but I think you need to realize that East Coast people and West Coast people are very different and one is not better then the other, just different. I didn’t always have money, so I didn’t know that us rich folks were supposed to be proficient in another language. Thanks for explaining that to me. I will start my French classes next week so I can be cool like the NYC people.
[i'm not sure if anyone already pointed this out, but the song at the end was sia, not dido.]
loved the recap, b-side!
Good for you Mrs.Conrad.You go girl!
I don’t post much but I had to say Welcome back LagunaConsultant!Been woundering where you were.
Mrs Conrad-
B-side has taken more cracks at your daughter’s character in the blogs he/she gets paid to write than I ever could in one lousy comment about the blog he/she wrote. All I was doing was pointing out something I am surprised B-side missed. I really have no interest in qualifying anyone’s character who is on a TV show and I don’t know personally.
I’m sure you raised Lauren to be a lovely person, and I’m sure MTV wouldnt be interested in featuring her in reality shows if they didn’t think she had heroine-like qualities. “the hills” being entertainment, and not a means to befriend people across the country, means that I have a right to comment on a blog that Lauren would have not caused such a comic moment in the show if only she knew French. As we all know from watching the show, she would have learned French if she’d taken the opportunity (or privelege, to be exact) to go to Paris, instead of staying in Cali with that bitch Jason who only made life hard for her.
I appreciate your defense of your daughter, but lady, she’s on a TV show on MTV. It’s not a documentary called “Rich people in California don’t educate their offspring like they do in NYC!” It’s just surprising in general that people think it’s hard to learn foreign languages and it’s preferable to spend your time reading Details magazine articles about Spencer and Brody.
I really believe your daughter is helping girls identify scumbags like them, but it sucks you didn’t teach her firsthand to put herself before a relationship with a guy. “The Hills” is becoming all about living with bad choices, and it’s really not as glamorous as most people on this board seem to think it is.
Oh I’m ready alright, I’ve been waiting 3 months for this.
NYWord is defintely Lisa Love, the reason why Lauren didn’t know the French word for Chinese was because she didn’t go to Paris! See it all goes back to that silly decision she made to skip out on that internship. I mean who in her position would skip an intership to be young and free for one of the last times in her life when she obviously can’t get another superior internship this coming summer? I mean who in their right mind would want to give an internship to someone who is incredibly beautiful, stylish, semi famous and has MTV cameras following them around? Defintely not me or NYWord, that’s for sure.
Maybe if her family had some money like Emily, Lauren would have had a chance. They must have spent every cent they had on that shanty on the hill and Lauren’s pinto, so they obviously couldn’t have afforded to send her to a boarding school to learn the important things in life like floral arrangements and dead languages like French.
And you wonder why we Bostonians don’t get along with most New Yorkers.
Wow that was great, I basically responded to that last post before it was even submitted. Apparently the break from the boards sharpened my intellect to near New York levels.
Wow, kudos to me for picking U. VA over NYU as a miscreant youth.
Call my crazy, but I doubt spending the summer in France wouldn’t have taught her a level of French above the quality of France’s brightest six-year-olds. .
BTW, I wouldn’t have known what Chinoise means, I took Latin.
Ive read every single laguna, hills, RW, challenge re-cap EVER, but never posted a comment. When I saw LagunaConsultant, K Conrad and Cheesy Tee Vee Addict all together in one comment section I felt compelled to finally make an account.
Thought Id help make the comments reach 100 as well.
I love B-Side and think about him far too much during my tv watching.
I don’t think you had to take french or any romance language, for that reason, to even hazard a simple guess that chinoise means “chinese…”
incidentally, i just realized that I’ve had a chinoise plant pot on my back deck for six months – maybe I should fly it south for lisa love’s next dinner party
Oh my. If this is really such an issue (and it apparently is), the word used by Emily was actually “chinoiserie,” not “chinoise.” (I think, although it’s not like I recorded the episode.) And chinoiserie is actually a EUROPEAN decorative style from long ago (see Delft, rococo period, etc.) that reflected asian-inspired influences. It does not, then, mean “chinese” vase. At most, it means a particular kind of “faux chinese” style from a particular historical period. None of this matters all that much, but if we’re going to act all superior, at least get it right.
B-Side,
loving the obsession with the cat. the caption that read “You don’t have to choose between me and Spencer. But you do have to choose between me and this cat I found.” made me laugh for roughly 3 minutes. It was really the icing on the cake.
On another note, I am pretty disappointed with Heidi in this episode, and probably will be with Jen as well tomorrow evening. Hasn’t either one of these girls heard the phrase “chicks before dicks!” apparently not. Especially dicks such as Spencer and probably Brody. Keep up the awesome recaps, B-Side… can’t wait to read more!
I don’t think that the folks above are acting “all superior” by tweaking Emily’s vocabulary. She seemed to be trying very hard to act more sophisticated than Lauren in that last episode, and that made her unlikeable. At least to me.
Don —
That’s fine with me — tweak away. Sorry for the confusion, I wasn’t trying to defend Emily at all, I’m really kind of neutral on the subject of Emily. I’m pretty much just pro-Lauren. That’s all.
I meant to mention this earlier, but Don Antonio is a phenominal handle
When I wasn’t able to read the site and I was watching the show, I just knew that Don Antonio’s was going to become a running joke for the entire season. It’s just so much more fun than the Pomodoro. Although there was a mention of a Pomodoro in a Seinfeld episode, so that does give the name some credibility.
Re: Andria, “chicks before dicks” Just remember that is a two way street, “bros before hoes”.
“Oh my. If this is really such an issue (and it apparently is), the word used by Emily was actually “chinoiserie,” not “chinoise.” (I think, although it’s not like I recorded the episode.) And chinoiserie is actually a EUROPEAN decorative style from long ago (see Delft, rococo period, etc.) that reflected asian-inspired influences. It does not, then, mean “chinese” vase. At most, it means a particular kind of “faux chinese” style from a particular historical period. None of this matters all that much, but if we’re going to act all superior, at least get it right.”
Thank you! OMG!
all in good fun, all in good fun….! but thanks for the definition, my apologies for not doing my research more thoroughly.
incidentally, i wasn’t trying to make fun of LC, just tease that Emily for trying to sound smarter than she is. i never like when a person uses needlessly complicated vocabulary to express simple things – when it is clearly done to try to make someone else feel less educated.
Does anyone know the chinese or faux chinese style word for A-hole that we can start calling spencer?
Love –
That’s cool. My bad. (I was more reacting to faux Emily above, anyway.)
I don’t know any chinese or faux chinese words to properly describe Spencer. (Where is real Emily when you need her?) I’ll just stick with “Le Tool,” for now.
Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit – Happy Gilmore
I think it was more of a shot at NYWord than you since they came off so snooty about the word being French, so I wouldn’t worry about it.
Is there any truth to the rumor that Emily got cast as the lead role in “The Next Karate Kid 2″ due to her proficiency at trimming bonsai plants?
Bonsai
noun, plural -sai.
1. A tree or shrub that has been dwarfed, as by pruning the roots and pinching, and is grown in a pot or other container and trained to produce a desired shape or effect.
2. The art or hobby of developing and growing such a plant or plants.
[Origin: 1945“50; < Japan bon-sai tray planting < Chinese equiv. to Chinese pén tray + zÄi plant, shoot ]
That’s for all you poverty stricken morons on the west coast.
The most important thing is that we all band together against Le Tool, though that emily does make a good target as well.
i’m sure she is too busy balancing her job as a straight A NYU student, her multiple high powered fashion internships, and her varsity job straightening her own hair to defend herself properly online
Oh, God. NYWord, you are no fun. I know your not Emily. I just that no one would care enough for the Chinoise thingy as her … or as LagunaConsultant hints, Lisa Love.
K Conrad —> I like you more by the second. =D
one last comment — for those who love, love, love Uncle Nick, there’s a posting about teaching Lauren on his blog:
http://nickverrreos.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Hills
“It is not a difficult course, per se. I always joke with my students that “this isn’t Rocket Science kids!”, but some students just cannot grasp the fundamentals of eye-to-hand coordination and have a difficult time progressing from crooked stick figures. Lauren was exceptionally good, however. I asked her if she had taken some classes in drawing or art, and she told me she had. Well, you could tell. She had a great sense of proportion and caught on pretty quickly in terms of the work. ”
Thats right folks, she may not know flowers, but damn it she can draw. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Emily haha
Thanks, Lime23! I am on “Team Uncle Nick,” to paraphrase douchebag Spencer.
Nick’s multicolored Barbie dress on season 2 of Project Runway remains one of my favorite ever designs from that show. I bet he’s a good teacher.
Oh yeah, and I’d only admit this to my fellow ‘Gasm-ers (well, and my roommate, who was with me at the time), but I’m considering buying Season 1 of The Hills on DVD.
I found it for really cheap at this used record/DVD place near my apartment. The only problem is, it’s a High Fidelity-type store where I KNOW I’ll get laughed at by all the hipsters. I’m thinking of telling them it’s for my sister (who actually hates The Hills).
This is my first comment and I have to say I love b-sides recaps!
But anyway, just a link I found that I thought I would share with everyone if you haven’t seen it already:
http://www.getclose.com/kiss/ScopeBrodyBuzz.jsp
Am I the only one that finds it scary that he is giving relationship advice???
If you guys haven’t caught The Hills on the afternoon sneak, prepare yourself. Tonight’s episode is craaaaazy.
(In a good way)
Spencer makes me physically ill. He makes that douchebag boyfriend of Kyndra’s look like Cary Grant.
Lime23- Thanks for the link to Nick V’s blog, I loved that Barbie dress too and still think he should have made it to the final 4 over Kara Janx (I think that was her name..?)
Umm B-Side I’m disappointed you caught it on the afternoon sneak and we don’t have a re-cap yet. Crazy isn’t even the word to describe it.
Without a doubt, the best Hills/Laguna episode ever. I wish I could post about it now, but I’ll wait until the recap tomorrow so I don’t step on your toes.
Did I mention before that I love Lauren? Well I like feisty Lauren 10x more, and I didn’t think that was even possible.
OH GOSH! WHERE DO I START??
Last night’s episode…so telling..so dramatic! My heart just broke for Lauren!
She MUST kick that lying Heidi to the curb..how dare she say she didn’t have anything to do with the set up of Jen and Brody?! What a lying witch! And Jen? What a fair weather friend!
Move on Lauren…MOVE ON! Lauren is too good for these people! Brody makes me puke…literally! AND SPENCER!!! What an absolute joke. He is so GROSS AND CHEESY! That VOICE…OH GOD…HE MAKES MY ASSHOLE PUCKER!!! AND THOSE BIG TEETH..CHESTER CHEETO! Anyway..I must calm myself! It was a great episode and was over too soon. Hope Lauren gets away from these people…Where is Lo??!