Termination of Speidi?

The Hills

By L Con | Tuesday, March 27, 2007 | 6:45 pm | 216 Comments

Pennysaday

For a mere $2,764 a day, you can help keep this poor intern in Prada

Finally, it’s Monday, my favorite television night of the week. The Hills and 24, all on the same glorious night. It’s almost too much to handle. I know it’s pretty odd pairing of shows, but if you haven’t realized it by now, I’m a few bricks short of a full load.

The main course, though, is obviously The Hills, and this week’s preview had me in a tizzy all week.

Someone is finally going to tell off Spencer Pratt. I’m so excited, I’m practically giddy. This must be how Jason felt every time he picked up a kilo. Relief and exuberance, all rolled up into one tremendous feeling of elation. Tonight’s episode better not let me down like last week, or else I’m going channel my inner J-Wahl by means of hurling racial slurs and punching the nearest cop. It’ll be alright, I’ll just get sentenced to complete a one-day program at the Museum of Hills Tolerance.

Seriously though, someone needs to give a raise to the person who makes the “Next time on The Hills” hodgepodge of clips. For the last three weeks, I’ve been practically frothing at the mouth for my Hills fix, but by the end of the episode, I can’t shake the feeling of being somewhat let down. Then all of a sudden I hear, “Next time on The Hills,” and they show a clip from next week that has me hooked all over again. It’s uncanny.

I don’t see how this week could disappoint though; all the heavy hitters are present, including a heaping helping of Lisa Love and Emily the evil intern.

Without further ado, Lauren started us off by saying Heidi reminded her of what a good friend she was by throwing her a surprise party. Ah yes, catering to one’s master definitely scores major brownie points, but the opening sequence wasn’t solely about tales of celebrations past, because Whitney was about to graduate from college! Yay for higher education! Apparently, Whitney was trying to find her way in this crazy world, but as Lauren so eloquently put it, “She was about to find out that sometimes, the last step is the hardest.” Lauren Conrad, ladies and gentlemen! She’ll be here all week.

Business is about to pick up though, as we soon find our way into the Teen Vogue offices (and my first encounter with Lisa Love as a recapper). Color me intimidated. Corporal Love explained to Whitney and Lauren how it was Oscar week – which means we’re almost within a month of “real time” on the show. I still can’t get over that. When’s Jason getting sprung from the can, a couple of weeks? I’m going to start a petition demanding that The Hills’ cameras be present. What are the odds that Jessica is waiting for him at the gates with a tube of Preparation H? 2-to-1? Even money?

Back to Lisa though, who informs the girls that Teen Vogue will be involved in a pseudo-fashion show on Good Morning America, to be headed by the one and only Andre Leon Talley! Wait a second, who? That must be my Vogue ignorance showing again, because it seems that Mr. Talley is the editor-at-large for the flagship magazine. Big things people, big things. Also, rumor has it that Teen Vogue is quite the avid collector of old Oscar fashions, because it has assembled an assortment of 30 dresses for the show’s disposal. And guess who’s going to be rocking one of Teen Vogue’s prized gowns? None other than the evil intern herself, Emily! I’m going out on a limb, and guessing that this news didn’t please our two L.A. interns. We don’t know for sure though, because thou shalt not speak ill of the superintern in the presence of Sergeant Love.

Whitney, interjecting herself into the conversation, asks Ms. Love for a moment alone to discuss pressing business. Lisa is more than happy to accommodate anyone who is not named Lauren, and quickly gives LC a look that screams “Get the hell out of my office!!” Lauren has seen that look before, and quickly scampered out of the room telling Lisa, “I’m gonna go to the closet.”

Did she really just say that? I thought that was just a running joke we had going here at TVGasm? Next thing you know, Lauren’s going to start calling her partner in crime Wh-Wh-Wh-Whitney, and the two of them are going to be intentionally putting blank Post-its on their monitors.

Fart

Oh…great…alone time….with you…Whitney. . . I’m so . . . here.

As it turns out, Whitney’s pressing business involved her future with Teen Vogue. “As you know, I am graduating in May, and I just wanted to know, what realm of this whole world I can possibly work in.” It might have been easier to just ask her boss if there were any positions available, but we all know how Whitney likes to complicate things. Fortunately for her, there may be a job opening up after all. Lisa informed her that a position titled “fashion contributor” will be available shortly, but there will be other interns who have similar qualifications that will be applying for the same job. Somehow, I doubt anyone else will have a qualification that reads “continuously followed around by MTV cameras.”

After the credits, we find Lauren trying to hang herself in the tyro closet of shame, and Whitney comes in to break the news of the possible job opening. She explains to Lauren, “Lisa said there are a bunch of other interns applying, blah blah blah.” I think if I was going to paraphrase Whitney’s explanation, I would have written those exact words. Our heroine seemed pleased that her colleague would be up for such a prestigious position, but declared, “I would not want to compete with Emily.” That makes two of us. Whitney’s up for the challenge though: “So I just, kind of have to like, I guess, prove myself, you know?” LC apparently understood that mess of gibberish, and told her friend, “Let’s make you look good.” The two interns then exchanged a couple of sneaky grins that made me wonder if they may have something up their sleeve for good old Emily. Could we possibly be in store for a Janet Jackson-esque “wardrobe malfunction?”

Moving across town, we come to… DON ANTONIO’S! Spencer must have some sort of endorsement deal with this joint, because his antics there are starting to get a little out of hand.



Loath

Ah yes, young love.

Never looked so annoyed.

Not only was the smile on his face so wide, that I’m surprised his lips didn’t crack and start bleeding, but he starting pumping his fist when the food was being delivered, and even let out a few “wooo’s.” Judging by the massive cloud of smoke, life-changing fajitas were on the menu tonight. The smoke was a little disorienting though, and it only made me wish Spencer himself had caught fire.



Steam

“Judas Priest, Barbara, it’s one of those flaming bags again.”

Smoke

“Don’t put it out with your boots, Ted!”

Hell

“Don’t tell me my business, Devil Woman.

Call the fire department, this one’s outta control.”

Wassup

“Eck, poop again.”

I guess Speidi forgot to debrief about Lauren’s birthday, because Liz Gateley started poking Heidi through the booth with her cattle prod. Spencer felt it was “very ironic” that he made the toast on Lauren’s birthday, most likely due to the fact they hate each other. Heidi thought it was pretty odd herself, and questioned his intentions. Since Spencer is a man of integrity, he revealed that although his girlfriend thought it was nice, he was really trying to be mean. Gee, he could have fooled me. I’ll give him 10 points for the honesty, but a big minus-200 for attempting to ruin someone’s 21st birthday by being a complete and utter dickbag.



Niceplace

Just your average 20 year olds $2,800 a month apartment.

Heidi still doesn’t seem too pumped about moving in with our favorite douche, and when Spencer asked why, she smoothly brought up the Playmate incident as her defense. It’s different now, Spencer claimed, because within the last month and half, his love for Heidi has made the voyage from earth to the moon. He added, “Moving in would be brilliant.” I can think of a few oxymorons that would fit here quite nicely.



Imdaft

I’m daft

La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha! Is it fiesta time? I don’t see a drunken Roz flittering across the screen with maracas, so we must just be at the Good Morning America shoot. I see Lauren, I see France, but where is Emily in her Gucci pants? Sorry, that was pretty silly; it’s making the cut though, strictly because it took me 15 minutes to come up with the last half of the rhyme. Damn underpants. Just as Lauren questioned the superintern’s whereabouts, in strolls the monster herself, looking more pompous than ever, I might add. Apparently, fashionable tardiness is the Teen Vogue way of doing things.

After a little initial instruction by Lawren Howell, we see Lieutenant Lisa Love make her grand entrance. This is quickly overshadowed though, because moments later, we see some homeless man stumble his way into the shoot! OMG, homeless people are so gross! Someone needs to tell this bum that the Union Rescue Mission is a few blocks down the street. Nobody escorts him out though, and it turns out that this bum is actually Andre Leon Talley. Could have fooled me, I was ready to send him a donation.



Gotchange

“Where’s the line start for the free meal?”

Andre immediately asserted himself, and ordered the gaggle of interns to focus on issues regarding footwear. Whitney was then asked by Mr. Talley if she was a model, but not even a millisecond later, Lisa Love hastily interrupted. While she may have modeled once before in an emergency, she was only a lowly intern, implying that he shouldn’t be concerning himself with the peasants. ALT wouldn’t be denied though, and Lauren did everything she could to stick up for her friend as well. For the first time ever, Lisa Love suddenly appeared flustered; it seems not noticing Whitney’s modeling ability earlier was quite the snafu in the eyes of the great ALT. Emily seemed fairly concerned herself, or at least that’s what the producers wanted us to believe after all the quick cuts to her frowning.

It was too late for bitterness and resentment now anyway, because Andre had already made up his mind that Whitney was going to walk in the show. The only question that remained: What gown should she wear? Sensing an opportunity to redeem herself, Lisa cut off Andre in order to suggest Faye Dunaway’s white dress. I thought for a second that her suggestion was going over well, but we were greeted by a stern “NO,” from ALT, and an order to fetch the “Sophia Loren.” This guy is AWESOME! Nobody’s ever put Lisa Love in her place like this before. Where was this guy on the first episode of the season? I’ve got a sneaking suspicion someone is going to pay for Lisa’s embarrassment though, and I have a funny feeling I know who it will be.



Shitmyself

“The mere thought of Lauren Conrad makes me constipated.

No, seriously.

Very constipated.

Im pushing oh so hard right now and nothing.”

As we returned from commercial, we headed over to Brody’s condo, where it appeared Speidi had just finished up a nooner. Spencer seemed to think post-coital conversation would be the perfect opportunity to bug Heidi about moving in with him again. So he started questioning her commitment to the relationship, and whether or not Heidi took it seriously. Heidi retorted quickly, with “I AM serious – does that mean I have to move in with you?” This angered the brave little toaster to no end, and he responded back viciously with, “Living with Lauren is ruining our relationship. There’s a difference between a best friend, and a bestfriend/roommate.” Heidi was feeling feisty again, though, and countered, “Why don’t you just decide my living arrangements, and you can just tell me later.” I’m really starting to like the new and improved Heidi; this resolve stuff fits her like a glove. Spencer didn’t have much of a rebuttal for this, and resorted to his usual antics of threatening to leave if his suddenly strong-willed girlfriend didn’t comply with his wishes. Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when people would start “going steady” after a few months, or giving a girlfriend your letterman’s jacket to signify commitment? Somewhere Eddy Winslow is shaking his head in disgust.

Heading back over to the Good Morning America shoot, we see Whitney getting ready in her Hilary Swank number. I’m already starting to get nervous for her, because we’ve known for a month now what’s coming next. The room’s abuzz though, and it’s time to go live… Break a leg, Whit!

The girls start making their way down the stairs — I can’t watch.



4Beautys

Today we have 4 beautiful models…

Snap

What is it Lassie? What is it girl?

3Beauties

make that…3 beautiful models

Sure enough, right when an unexpectedly well dressed ALT started to introduce the girl next to Whitney pretending to be Courtney Love, our precocious little friend suddenly disappeared from the screen into a heap on the floor. Down goes Whitney, down goes Whitney! She recovered quickly though, and to his credit, Andre didn’t miss a beat with his monologue either. The rest of the show went off without a hitch, but the damage had already been done. Andre immediately consoled Whitney by saying how it was a great way to begin her career. A great way my ass; that was akin to having a black cat run by the stage.

Lauren tried to comfort Whitney a little after as well, and she seemed to be doing pretty well, all things considered. Emily even threw in a couple of obligatory “Are you okay?”s and pretended to be concerned too. She seemed almost genuine, but you just know she was doing backflips inside. It’s a lot easier to be gracious in victory than it is in defeat. I will say this for her though, her brown-nosing attitude may suck, but she was unquestionably the standout in the fashion show. She looked amazing.

After the final break, we head back up to the Teen Vogue offices for the final verdict on Whitney’s performance. Presiding over the court today will be the occasionally honorable Lisa Love.

180Px-Talesfromthecrypt2Crypt-1

Is it just me?

Judge Love must have been spoken to from above, because she seemed reasonably calm about her prize intern falling down the stairs during the fashion shoot. “It was a very endearing moment,” she said serenely. Lisa wasn’t the only one who thought Whitney’s performance was charming. Amy Astley wrote a letter saying how great she did, and even compared her fall to one taken by Naomi Campbell. Better her than Kate Moss, that’s for sure. On top of that, Anna Wintour even called to say how wonderful Whitney’s performance was. All right, this is getting a little out of hand. I’m on Team Whitney just as much as the next guy, but why was her performance so wonderful? Because she fell? Endearing it may have been, but anything beyond that is a horse of a different color. She had one task, and that was to walk smoothly down the stairs. She failed. If I went in to work one day and was given a single chore, and I messed it up, even purely by accident, I highly doubt I would be getting rave reviews. Let’s call this what it was: a charming disaster.

Whitney then told Lisa that all she had been concerned about was not disappointing her. Much to Whit’s delight, Corporal Love was far from disappointed. I only wonder what she would have said had Andre not been secretly electroshocking her? As it stands though, Whitney is on the fast track to getting that dream job. It should be interesting to see what happens this summer if Whitney gets hired full-time. That should put Lauren in line for a Paris do-over, right? That is, if she can step over Lisa Love’s dead body, of course.

The fall heard around the world has now reached levels of petty sidekickdom, because it’s now Audrina’s turn to hear the unfortunate events rehashed by Whitney and Lauren. Audrina also was impressed by Whitney’s resilience, saying “But you know what, you got up and kept doing it; you didn’t run off the stage and start crying.” Was she implying that would have been her reaction? I’m leaning toward yes. Luckily for everyone at Teen Vogue, Audrina wasn’t the one falling down, or else they may have had a true catastrophe on their hands. Lauren’s sentiments were similar, saying that when she saw Whitney fall, she envisioned a domino effect, with Whitney taking down the three other models in the process. That would have been PRICELESS. I think if Whitney bowled a strike, we would have a comment avalanche of record-breaking proportions on our hands.

Whitney then decided to go over the specifics of her new job for the 20th time in a 30 minute show, but added one detail that she failed to mention to Lauren. “I would be, like, head of all the interns.” Uh-oh, looks like there’s a new HBIC in town. Lauren didn’t look happy about this at first, but she soon warmed up to the idea when she realized who the alternative would be. I’ll give you a hint: She has a bumper sticker on her car that says “My other ride is a broom.” Sensing an opportunity to playfully rag on her master, Audrina then accidentally baited Lauren into saying something she probably regrets now. Drina joked that Lauren would love working for Emily, which caused LC to blurt out, “I would quit, I actually would quit.” Oops. Looks like somebody forgot the cameras were rolling. That comment won’t cause any awkward moments the next time they run into each other. Naaah. They’re professionals.

Switching gears, it was time for the moment I had been waiting for all week: The extermination of Speidi. Please God, let this have happened a week ago so there’s a chance this was final.

Bolthouse appears to be the site for the breakup, as we see Heidi diligently working at her desk reading a magazine. So much for the newfound work ethic…



Heidimag

Oh how cute, Heidi is pretending to know how to read!

I guess Heidi isn’t too busy for Spencer after all, because she quickly agreed to ditch out on work to meet him in the alley. Did Spencer hit puberty after his last trip to Don Antonio’s? He’s looking awfully scruffy; maybe this was his failed attempt to grow a war beard for the fight. Not wasting a moment, Douchebag decided he needed to hear one more time why Heidi was hesitant to move in with him. Getting asked the same questions over and over again seemed to be wearing on Heidi, because she was starting to get snippy. The little ‘tude does nothing but get Spencer mad as well, and soon we’re locked into a full-fledged yelling match at a volume level of about eight.

Spencer continues resorting to his usual argument that Heidi doesn’t want to take their relationship to the next level, causing our normally passive friend to respond, “Why now? Why are you pressuring me so much now? It’s like, what is the big moment? It’s like, come on, RELAX!” Touché. I swear Spencer is trying to get Heidi to move in with him strictly to spite Lauren. The college dropout also brought up a good point, what is the big rush anyway? It’s not like they have a bun in the toaster or anything. None of this seems to add up, and neither do Spencer’s responses, but he continued to press Heidi anyway. You know what? Spencer must be starting to PMS. It’s the only thing that makes any sense. Somebody get this he-bitch a Midol and a wine cooler A.S.A.P.



Spencer012207

Clip from the pregnacny scare several weeks back. . .



Grown

Clip from this episode.

Heidi sooooo needs to get her color retouched. It’s fully faded!

Heidi kept driving home her point that she can’t understand why Spencer can’t wait a couple of months, which he has absolutely no rational explanation for. If there was ever any doubt that Spencer couldn’t care less about Heidi’s feelings, it’s right here for all to see. If he really loved this girl, he would understand that she had some things to work out, and that in a couple of months, it’ll probably be a different story. He doesn’t see that though, and he keeps trying to force his will upon her.



Shocked

Spencer finally gets to use his Beemers built in passenger shock button.



Hate

Dude, the whole shock the girlfriend thing. . . not cool!

Heidi is like a brick wall today though; she just isn’t putting up with Spencer’s BS for some reason. “You want me to move in, but what about the repercussions for the rest of my life?” One would think Heidi would realize by now that Spencer doesn’t care about ramifications that affect other people. Remember, he considers everything involving Heidi’s non-Spencer life to be “baggage.”

You can tell the fight is starting to wind down, because Spencer has started to ask himself rhetorical questions. Heidi’s had enough now, and she decides it’s time to break the final verdict to Spencer.

H – “Alright, well my answer is no.” YES

S – “Sweet. My answer is get out of my car.” YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

And just like that, Heidi is curbside. She slams his BMW door shut, which apparently infuriates The Spencer enough to take a shot at running Heidi over! Well, maybe he was just trying to be a tough guy, but as usual, it was a very immature move, by a very immature person.

Stupidcar-1

“Stupid car.”



Choke

Spence:

“I hope you die of exhaust inhalation you dumb bitch!”

If this were a movie, when Spencer got to the end of the alley, he would have been blindsided by a Mack Truck. Unfortunately, this is The Hills, and Spencer got to continue on his merry way. I’m so proud of Heidi, she’s doing so… Shit, the preview for next week just showed her and Lauren having a Jerry McGuire moment with LC watching her friend in a moving truck’s side mirror. I take back everything I said about Heidi; she deserves everything she gets from Spencer. I’m running the gamut of emotions right now; I think I need some water.

What did you guys think of this episode? It definitely wasn’t on the same level as the Lauren/Heidi fight, but I thought it was pretty entertaining nevertheless. What’s going on with Heidi? Should Lauren even stay friends with this girl? So many questions, I’ll see you guys on the board.

And now a series of unflattering stills from this episode I couldn’t find room to use in the recap, but are totally worth including.



Worsewhitpic

Badwhitpic1



Homeless

Badwhit

Badspencepic

About

216 Comments

  1. 1
    BlondeGirl
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    And here I thought I was the only one who loved the one-two combo of 24 and The Hills. For some reason Kiefer Sutherland torturing and/or killing people and the drama of The Hills just go hand in hand for me.

    Okay, I’ll go back and read the rest of the recap now…

  2. 2
    JULIE
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:14 pm

    WHITNEY HAS TO GET THE JOB & BEAT OUT EMILY.

  3. 3
    shiaobundan
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Omg…Brave Little Toaster mention! :D DD Awesome recap Lcon!!

    I said it before but seriously. Spencer needs to BLINK every now and then. I did laugh my ass off when he said he was trying to be mean during Lauren’t toast. I love villains that know they’re villains.

    I think Emily got a raw deal here. Seriously, how much does it suck to sign a paper agreeing to be filmed for someone else’s show, probably have a great time during the taping, and then see the end product which is purposely edited to make you look like a bitch? I’m not saying Emily’s pompous attitude doesn’t bug me, but those “jealous” looks are easy to piece together. Emily could have been staring at the wall, Lisa Love, the ground; I DOUBT she was really all that jealous that Whitney was got to walk, because they both walked anyhow!

    As for Speidi.. aren’t they together at the moment?

    I can’t believe next week is the the finale!

  4. 4
    watermelon
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    lagunaconsultant,

    I loved reading your posts on the laguna/hills boards during the heyday of b-side. how wonderful that you’re continuing on in his footsteps. I’ve got to tell you, you do not disappoint. Your recaps are better and better each week.

    p.s. Heidi kind of looks like Debbie from Debbie Does Dallas (i know of it from i love the 70s, i promise!)

  5. 5
    jla85
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    Did anyone else notice Emily’s face when Whitney fell? All the other models look concerned for her and Emily was just like, whatev.

    I also read that Heidi was introduced to Spencer by none other then K. Cav. Now, I wonder what Lauren thinks of that?

    Great recap. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought Andre was a bum. But hey, he cleaned up nice. (Even if he talked really really fast.)

  6. 6
    lorak_305
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    I’ve discovered TVgasm at the end of LB Season 3, and since then I’ve been hooked. I finally decided to break down and post for the 1st time.

    Although, I do miss B-Side’s recaps…LaguanaConsultant I do like yours, especially your screencaps. Your screencaps are hilarious and everytime I read them I laugh out loud and people around think I’m crazy.

    Too bad the season is coming to an end…I don’t know if there is going to be a season 3 or not. Anyways I am looking forward to next week’s recap.

  7. 7
    BayArea
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    Great recap LCon…

    I love andre!!!

    I agree, Whitney’s REALLY pretty…but the way she talks is so annoying.

    I was really proud of heidi for standing up to spen, but knew it wasn’t going to last long.

    It was so random that the only thing Heidi could think to say was “stupid car”. It felt like one of those silly, anti-climatic things you say by accident…you had plans for something more hurtful, or witty but that’s all you came up with last minute.

    All together I thought the episode was kinda boring compared to rest.

  8. 8
    msu11y28
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    LCon…LMAO at the ALT comments/screencaps, especially when he shot Lisa Love’s suggestion that Whitney wear the Faye Dunaway dress down.

    What can be said about Spencer that hasn’t been said before. He has NO legitimate argument when it comes to her moving in, other than the fact that he is a controlling douchebag who wants to get his own way and continue to brainwash (for lack of a better word) Heidi and keep her away from her friends. I agree that it seems like he’s more interested in spiteing Lauren than in actually moving in with the “love of his life.”

    Also, saying his toast to Lauren was meant to be “really mean”…wow, really something to be proud of.

    Finally…does anyone know whose dress it was the Emily was wearing on Good Morning America? My best guess is Natalie Portman (I believe she wore something similar a few years ago), but I’m too lazy too Google it…

  9. 9
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    SpenTard is such a piece of shit.

    I also assumed he and HeidiHo were still together based upon all of the magazine articles, etc. Normally, I would hope she’d get away from him, but after this season’s antics I think she probably deserves what she gets – and if that includes a beating or two, so be it.

    SpenTard really looks seedy, and strung-out. He might actually have to pimp HIMSELF out to pay for that habit – at least BroJenn is attractive to the clients, I mean ladies. I really don’t see anyone going for SpenTard though, maybe Roseanne or Tara Reid would give him some money for gas.

    LiLove STILL reminds me of Blair Brown, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching her get her ass handed to her by ALT.

    I still don’t like Emily, she’s too….. much.

    I kind of wonder why when SpenTard bragged about trying to f*ck with Lauren on her B-Day, HeidiHo’s reaction wasn’t more along the lines of:

    “It’s pretty hard NOT to validate Lauren’s feelings about you when you consistently go out of your way to prove her right. Why is it such a problem for you to accept the fact that she didn’t accept how you were treating me, when even you have admitted you were in the wrong. My friendship with Lauren is a deal-breaker, if you can’t respect my feelings about someone who is that important to me, I don’t trust the fact that you will treat me with respect in general.”

    “Please pass the crack-pipe, I need to take the edge off before you make me have sex with Kevin Federline. Ouch! Don’t leave marks, they don’t pay as much! Ouch!”

    I hope they have another season of LB and TH, I’m genuinely addicted.

    Really good recap L-Con, thanks for sticking with us! :-) . I STILL want to know what the verdict on the Head In The Lap Controversy is, although I think you should follow my original advice – LOL!

  10. 10
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 8:21 pm

    That was a great recap. You should pick up another show to cover when The Hills ends.

    I have to agree with post #10, I didn’t think Emily was that attractive. I thought Whitney was the stand out stunner – I knew she had a cute figure but in that dress – WOW. It’s a shame she fell.

    I loved seeing Lisa Love get treated the way she treats Lauren. ALT is the MAN!

  11. 11
    shiaobundan
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 8:24 pm

    #10
    Unreasonably high standards much? Emily’s not trying to be a professional model, Good Morning America/Vogue were just to cheap to pay for real ones. She’s a reasonably attractive girl, in my opinion. Not my barf in a bag like you make her sound.

  12. 12
    Elsie
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    I think Whitney is really cute, but was not a big fan of the dress she was wearing. I had flashbacks from the gymnastics classes from my youth–the top of her dress reminded me of a bad (ugly) unitard. Maybe that explains her staircase acrobatics.

    Also, I liked that Lauren looked genuinely happy for Whitney when she got the chance to model in the gma show. Refreshing to see one of the castmembers be a good friend!

  13. 13
    kizik
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    I’ve said it before… Spencer is a fucking cokehead. From his haggard face and wild eyes, to his erratic temper, rapid/slurred speech and refusal to listen… these are tell-tale signs of a nasty cocaine habit. Look where they live. People in Hollywood do coke, and this asshole can afford it. Soon he’ll join 8-Ball in rehab, or the Chateau Marmont. Whoever said he’s strung out is right.

    Also, during Heidi’s B-Day AND New Years, SHE appears to be pretty fucking yakked out too.

    -kizik

  14. 14
    DA.Darling
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 9:58 pm

    Jessica got arrested for DUI and crashing into another car. The story and mug shot is at TMZ.com.

  15. 15
    kizik
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    #20:

    What the hell are you trying to ask? How can you spot a cokehead?

    Well, they usually are Males from the Laguna Beach franchise (Jason, that kid Alex– Rocky’s BF– and now Spencer) who are so high on their own growing “fame” that they boost their egos even more with the power of yayo.

    What are the signs? Like you, I did a lot of coke. And in this case, I truly believe that it takes one to know one. And I know from his behavior that this Spencer kid is on it. OK?

    It’s a shame that MTV has made stars out of these people. It’s a bad example for kids.

    -kizik

  16. 16
    missrhodeisland
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    Seriously, your recaps read like Charles Nelson Reilly on crack.

    Rock on with your self-important ass.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!

  17. 17
    BayArea
    Posted March 27, 2007 at 11:48 pm

    ^
    ^
    ^
    me

  18. 18
    catherine
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 3:10 am

    Heidi deserved spencer!
    Great recap, LCon!

  19. 19
    KermitGirl22
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 5:08 am

    Going back to what people said a few episodes back about Spencer showing the classic signs of an emotional manipulator/abuser… he totally wants Heidi to move in with him just to separate her from Lauren… he even said it during the episode. And Heidi’s really too dumb to realize it. I’m usually willing to give 21-22 year old girls the benefit of the doubt, just because I feel they probably don’t know any better but this is getting ridiculous. HEIDI, stop dating him, he’s slowly cutting people out of your life, and you just standing there with your confused puppy dog eyes does NOT make us think that you are really “torn” inside. We all know you’re falling for his crap.

    What is it about him, is he a good lay or something? I shudder to even think…

  20. 20
    KermitGirl22
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 5:10 am

    Oh yeah, and Lisa Love’s face is just haggardly… it’s almost sad to see that someone who’s probably what, 50, is so weathered and beaten beyond her years.

  21. 21
    Bobo
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 5:29 am

    I like your posts, but you should write in the past tense instead of the present tense. It’s much more easy and fluid to read.

  22. 22
    Claire S.
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:04 am

    Lovee the recap!
    One would think that Heidi would realize that a boyfriend who would deliberately be mean through a 21st birthday toast to her BEST FRIEND isn’t that great of a person. Further, any guy who would put that kind of pressure on a girl to move in with him is a creep. I can’t believe she is still with him. It’s ridiculous.
    Most endearing moment of the night was when Whitney shyly said that people have thought she ought to model “because of her height.” Hopefully, nice girls will ultimately finish first.

  23. 23
    mandymax
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:11 am

    I like Whitney – I always have. I admire the fact that she’s not so smooth and polished and plastic-perfect as every other woman in LA tries to be – she is who she is, and she’s natural and very down to earth, not trying to be someone she’s not. I actually liked that her sister even spoke and acted just like her. As for the fall, she recovered with the utmost class and dignity, and I can see why all the higher-ups were impressed with her. I have only good wishes for Whitney.

    Heidi’s standing up to Spencer reminded me of how she stood her ground when she broke up with Jordan last season . . . now it looks like she’s caved in the end. What on earth does she SEE in this guy, that he can manipulate her so easily??? Or what kinds of insecurities does she have that she ALLOWS him to do it??? This is seriously an abusive relationship in the making, in every possible way. I’m rather concerned for her, myself.

    As for Lauren – yeah, I cringed, too, when she swore on-camera that she would quit if Emily got the job. Not the smartest thing she could’ve said. Kind of like when she commented to Emily that they were fussing so much over something that was “just a lunch, not even a party.” Ah, well, she’s young. She’ll learn. I still like her.

  24. 24
    Virgin Lemon Drop
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:17 am

    The contrast between Lauren and Heidi’s life was so clear in this episode.
    Lauren, Whitney and, yes, even Emily are in this great growth phase of their lives. Lauren,Whitney and Audrina are each others support and safety net. They are nice girls with their heads on straight enjoying the best years of their lives. Heidi, in sharp contrast, is just in this dark shady place. Trapped. Without any support. Lauren warned her. It is sad.

  25. 25
    Blueberdie
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:26 am

    Lauren and Whitney with Vogue editors watching a GMA broadcast. Heidi sneaking away from her desk to meet a dirtball in an alley.

    It was the DARK vs. the light and heartwarming throughtout this whole episode.

    P.S. Did anyone else cry when Whitney fell? I’m not ashamed, I really was touched by her and her behaviour.

  26. 26
    JerseyGirl
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:35 am

    I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned my favorite part.

    The whole time Speidi was in the car I kept wondering why Spencer was pushing so hard for her to move in with him. He’s obviously trying to separate her from Lauren, but even that wasn’t explaining his extreme douchebaggyness. I was actually a little surprised when Heidi caught it first when she asked him if this was his way of getting out of the relationship so he could mess around with other girls. He was totally pulling the whole “make her break up with me” ploy, so he could go hang with his Playmates with no guilt.

  27. 27
    Tiffany
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:44 am

    (in the last comment section of last Hills)
    In the Maxim article (or was it Stuff?)it states that Brody and Spencer are “privately funded” by some dude they have dubbed, The Godfather…who I guess is their rich friend?
    Found this on Bricks: Blind Item: Pay for Play
    This guy was a looker, but he never made it as an actor. Luckily, he had a trust fund and was always a big spender so he ran with the hot crowd in Hollywood. His trust fund fizzled out and he was forced into prostitution! He met an incredibly wealthy Mexican playboy whose father has billions, and they became close friends. The playboy worships the failed actor and he pays for everything when they go out. As our guy became more financially dependent on the playboy, the kid with the money started demanding “affection.” Now our unsuccessful actor is “gay for pay” and he doesn’t know any other way to support himself in style.

  28. 28
    Marble Rye
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:46 am

    Jersey Girl — interesting theory, but I don’t agree. Spencer cannot stand that the fact that Lauren’s “got his number” . He is fixated. Psychotic. He won’t let it be without forcing Heidi to make a choice.

    We need a shrink to tell us what’s wrong with him…..it’s not just drugs….he’s narcissitic, psychotic, delusional…..one or all of the above

  29. 29
    Rodeo Queen
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:51 am

    I am beginning to think that Heidi is afraid to loose Spencer….ONLY because he is somehow connected to her pathetic singing/nude posing career.

    She looks pretty, but she’s definitely got some low life tendencies. I think she’s afraid a break up with Spencer will jeopardize her slimy career.

    I don’t see the any love in her eyes. May just dollar signs.

  30. 30
    McCreamy
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:51 am

    Awesome recap! Your best yet!

    I like Emily… I don’t know what it is about her but I do

  31. 31
    Mr. Sniffles
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:10 am

    Spencer wants her moving in with him because

    1. that puts more focus on him (camera time, drama)and 2. will also help if Lauren doesnt do the show again in getting his own show. Spence needs Heidi for the career plan he refered to in Maxim. Heidi is as much a pawn as she is his accomplice.

    love,

    Mr. Sniffles

  32. 32
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:29 am

    Watching Spencer manipulate Heidi is painful and sickening to watch.

    I love Whitney, but I don’t hate Emily either. I think Teen Vogue will do something really cheesy and allow both of them to get the position.

    What ever will Lauren do if she has to work for EMILY? Haha, I think they will all end up being friends anyway. Positivity all around.

    Except with Heidi and Spencer. BOO!

  33. 33
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:30 am

    As far as the Spencer/coke thing goes, I don’t think he’s hopped up.

    The two main telltale signs of cocaine abuse are hyperactivity and HUGE pupils. I don’t usually notice that when they show Spencer. However, he does seem to exhibit the personality traits of a drug addict – lying, lack of values, short fuse, delusional view of the world ect¦

    Therefore, I think he’s either just a really deranged human being who needs some serious counseling, or he’s taking something else, most likely a downer – Perks, OC’s or Heroin.

    He and Brody did spend a good amount of time with Nicole Richie¦

  34. 34
    YankeesFan
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:32 am

    As far as the whole guy drinking out of a straw thing…I don’t know if it’s a rule, but I have been saying forever how it’s so funny how guys never drink out of straws unless they have to.

    I officially love Andre. He had me cracking up! He reminded me of Wesley Snipes in To Wong Fu…

    Heidi is so dumb! She does not come up with the right reasoning as to why she doesn’t want to live with Spencer. It’s partially her fault why Spencer is being unreasonable. She keeps bringing the issue back to Lauren…and while that might be part of her argument, she has to realize that is the reason Spencer is going to fight with her.

  35. 35
    silentfire
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:34 am

    If Whitney gets the job and if it’s in New York, then she needs to get her own show. Whitney vs Emily, I’d love it. As for heidi and spencer battle, it was everything I expected.

  36. 36
    lovedoctor
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:37 am

    I haven’t finished the recap yet but so far, nice work lagunaconsultant….

    one small side note. i think you may have been in boston too long….

    i think you underpriced spencer’s apartment rent

    being in the SF Bay area, I am (sadly!) renting a rather modest place for the low low price of $2800 a month and unfortunately that is considered a steal around here

    more of my musings later….
    gotta join the morning commute right now

  37. 37
    tvismylife
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:47 am

    I was watching on Monday when it finally hit me. Spencer looks like Beavis with his hair and that strange way he holds his mouth open all the time.

  38. 38
    Rodeo Queen
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:53 am

    Andre Leon Talley also wears floor length capes to Fashion Week, so Jennifer Hudson should have known what she was getting into.

    That said, he seems to be a good soul,
    with a kind heart

  39. 39
    YankeesFan
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:59 am

    Oh my God tvismylife – you are so right!!!

  40. 40
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:03 am

    However, he does seem to exhibit the personality traits of a drug addict – lying, lack of values, short fuse, delusional view of the world ect¦

    L-Con! I thought I was the group shrink! I’m impressed my friend, very impressed! LOL! ;-)

    People with narcissistic personality disorder also have difficulty recognizing the needs and feelings of others, and are dismissive, contemptuous and impatient when others share or discuss their concerns or problems. They are also oblivious to the hurtfulness of their behaviour or remarks, show an emotional coldness and a lack of reciprocal interest, exhibit envy (especially when others are accorded recognition), have an arrogant, disdainful and patronizing attitude, and are quick to blame and criticise others when their needs and expectations are not met.

    The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are:

    A. A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of:

    1. a grandiose sense of self-importance

    2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

    3. believes that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

    4. requires excessive admiration

    5. has a sense of entitlement, ie unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

    6. is interpersonally exploitative, ie takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

    7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

    8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

    9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

    Narcissists often use Coke as their drug of choice because it comlements the their sense of grandiosity. Personality disordered people have a VERY high incidence of substance abuse. Aside from all my Heidi-bashing, she is actually in fairly serious trouble with this guy. OJ Simpson, for example, is believed by many mental health pros to exhibit classic signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

    I’m not saying SpenTard is a murderer, I’m just saying he’s probably capable of it and would easily be able to rationalize having done it. I’ll bet in the final analysis, he will blame Heidi for how badly he has been portrayed by MTV – he will NEVER understand that people are repulsed by his actual personality.

    He’s reptilian.

  41. 41
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:06 am

    OMG #54!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHQAHAHAHAAHSHWASDJKGNEG

    genius!

  42. 42
    Blueberdie
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:18 am

    Regarding Emily.

    I love Whitney and Lauren. Don’t get me wrong. But Emily is a lot more driven than either of them. How could Lauren not know who AndreLeon Talley is? She had to ask Emily…..

    Plus Emily has put herself into a different
    world. She’s in school full time — two internships. I am sorry but that is impressive.

    She still seems very nice. Why do people hate her because she is knowledgeable, has drive, and knows her stuff.

    Guess who I (or anyone) would hire. Sorry guys that the real world. Especially here in NYC.

  43. 43
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:32 am

    #59 – Heidi is the Tonya Harding to Lauren’s Nancy Kerrigan

  44. 44
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:38 am

    I was under-whelmed by this recap. It didn’t do much for me.
    But other than that…regarding the whole men using straws…it’s only feminine when they use straws without picking up the glass or holding the straw in place. What is with Brody and Spencer both doing the no hands thing? They’re just too Hollywood for me I guess.

  45. 45
    Mr. Sniffles
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:47 am

    Bluebirdie:

    I thought the same thing!! How did Lauren get a job a Vogue, goes to fashion school (or is that on hold?) and NOT know who he is??

    she really doesnt belong in this internship. Lisa Love knows it too.

    Emily hasnt done anything at all to Lauren or Whitney. She is exactly what she should be.. hard-working and obsessed with fashion.

    I would hire her in a heartbeat. Whitney is great too. She’s no Emily but Emily is alot to compete against.

    Lauren just doesn’t know as much as these girls and that doesnt seem to bother her. She doesn’t really dress as stylishly as either of them either. Emily is impeccable East coast. Whit has that west coast boho thing down pat. Lauren… well, there’s nothing special that she brings to the table.

    love,

    Mr. Sniffles

  46. 46
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:53 am

    #60 Blueberdie,

    I agree. Not that we know Whitney’s full background and stats, but still. I find it kind of irritating when Lauren bashes on Emily. Like when she was so shocked that Emily knew her stuff. Hello, Lauren who
    sucked in highschool and went to FIDM (mail-order ‘fashion’ school anyone?) versus Emily who goes to NYU and has a professional attitude.

    I don’t know why people are hating on Emily because she’s got her shit together by her own drive unlike our little starlet who gets through life EASY on Laguna Beach fame. (Seriously, how often would Teen Vogue hire FIDM students after their first year?)

    If you don’t know what FIDM i, then you might not have gone to high school in Southern California. Once a year, FIDM (Fashion Institute.. something fancy sounding) barges into one of your classrooms and starts handing out catalogues for their school. Their main hook is how easy it is to get in because your academic grades don’t really matter. Seriously, I fell in love with KCav the minute she said ‘Lauren is going to fashion school. You don’t even need brains to get in.’ FOR REAL! Especially FIDM!

  47. 47
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 9:05 am

    I agree. Lauren definitely isn’t as driven. CHOOSING JASON OVER PARIS?! That definitely says it all. Emily is far more qualified.

  48. 48
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 9:16 am

    I agree that Emily is super driven intern extraordinaire…but Lauren does have her own show on MTV, which causes people to write recaps about it and us to comment on her life…she’s doing something right.

  49. 49
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 9:27 am

    Emily is very qualified – she should be – she’s been interning with Teen Vogue NY since at least 2005.

    I’m neither for nor against, but lets not fool ourselves into painting Emily as some kind of uber-driven scrapper who’s clawing her way to the top.

  50. 50
    mandymax
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 9:33 am

    I was looking back through the screencaps (the one of Spencer behind the cloud of steam at Don Antonio’s just makes me laugh out loud, for some reason!), and in comparing the “pregnancy scare/post-pregnancy scare” pictures of Spencer, I noticed two things:

    1) The gold necklace didn’t show up till later in the season – he wasn’t wearing it at the pregnancy scare. When exactly did it start appearing? ( . . . and why, might I ask . . ?)

    2) Spencer’s face is much thinner in the post-pregnancy scare picture. In fact, he’s starting to look gaunt. There couldn’t have been that much elapsed time between the two – three months, maybe? There could be a reasonable explanation, I’m sure, but it makes me wonder more seriously about drugs.

  51. 51
    Goulet!
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 9:56 am

    Great recap L-Con!

  52. 52
    Mr. Sniffles
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 9:57 am

    Lauren is no scrapper herself. She’s been interning since 2005 at Teen Vogue LA.

    She should know who Andre Leon is.
    She should think a lunch she is putting together for the east and west coast editors is of importance… because it is.
    It’s your chance to make an impression.. bad or good. Emily seemed to get that. This opportunity and it’s exclusivity isn’t wasted on her.

    There are plenty other private school children who would kill to have Emily’s spot. She gets that. Lauren does not. Or she does and doesn’t care.

    If I were Lisa Love and had worked twenty years to get to where I am and then had to deal with MTV and their interns in order to increase mag sales, Id be just a little miffed too.
    It isn’t fair to those who are qualified.

    I do like Lauren. A lot. But it doesn’t mean she’s suited for this and that is obvious.

    love,

    Mr. Sniffles

  53. 53
    Mgasm
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:18 am

    GunaCon,

    How do I say this? Are you at all concerned with libel at times? I don’t really see any declarative label of opinion on your recap…that means it’s not a “fair comment.” Do you have a good lawyer?
    Now, let me say that I agree with # 10. Emily’s face is booty…why did she get to walk?
    Also, GunaCon…WTF? You need to know more about the Vogue enterprises…it’s really the Teen Vogue way of doing things. Andre Tally is like a God to me…not a homeless man.
    By the way…he has lost soo much weight…hasn’t he? Good job, Andre. Did he ever do his weight loss show with Oprah?

  54. 54
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:24 am

    He was on Oprah to discuss his weight loss a long while back. I guess Ana Wintour kept saying she was not pleased with his appearance and he had to do something about it.

  55. 55
    hirotalksalot
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:29 am

    http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2007/02/meet-the-hills-newest-alpha-intern.php

    (copy and paste the above)

    Yes, Emily is driven and smart and all that. But she’s also from a wealthy family in CT and majors in studio art at NYU. I went to NYU. Life was really easy. And I had a major that involved really hard things like reading and writing and attending class. :) (Not that Lauren also doesn’t come from money, I’m just sayin’…)

    LagunaConsultant – I really loved this recap. Each one is better than the last! Too bad we only have 1 ep left.

  56. 56
    SpencerP
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:32 am

    I think it is pretty obvious why Spencer Pratt (aka Cockmouth) wants her to move in. So he can do what any other rich LA douchebag does-make a sex tape. If I know Spencer (which i don’t) I am pretty sure that is his plan (that and he mentioned it in that ricockulous interview.) That or because live-in couples get 20% discount and free vale at Don Antonio’s.

    LC-not a bad recap. I think more shots could always be taken at whitney, Teen Vogue, Spencer, well everyone except Lauren.

    Furthermore-I love how Emily is most hated by the gang not because she seems like a a heartless brownosing bitch that’s goal is unbridled power at Teen Vogue, but because she works hard.

  57. 57
    KermitGirl22
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:42 am

    Emily is skinny for sure (we always see her skinny legs walking down the hall during her “entrances…”) but her face is kind of round/wide/fat. Does anyone agree? She’s pretty but she doesn’t have the face of someone who’s so skinny.

  58. 58
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:48 am

    Anon #80:

    Calm it down there…don’t be all Spencer like.

  59. 59
    SpencerP
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Oh yeah, how come ther was NO mention of Pricksters Mr. T jewelry. None. Not even the faux Super Bowl XXV ring on his hand. Either that or it is all normal sized jewelry and all the coke has emaciated Prickster.

  60. 60
    Mgasm
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:01 am

    #80,

    Ughh…Where the fuck is the disclaimer? I know it’s opinion, but it all must be clearly labeled when you are calling someone a coke head. I don’t have a problem with it, but if J-Whal has one brain cell left…he’d have a pretty good libel case. That’s all. So, calm the fuck down. And, why did you post as anonymous? Don’t call someone an idiot anonymously. That is certainly not the Teen Vogue way of doing things…

  61. 61
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:03 am

    Mr. Sniffles, I couldn’t agree with you more.

    I love Lauren and think she seems like a great girl, but that doesn’t mean I think she’s the next Anna Wintour or Lisa Love. Sure, she has her own reality show, but how does that qualify her for fashion?

    Emily is a hard-worker. Girlfriend has definitely got her shit together. I don’t hate her in the least.

    No comment on the recap itself. I’m not in the mood to fight off “The Majority.”

  62. 62
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:13 am

    Here’s that link to Jessica getting arrested…

    http://www.tmz.com/2007/03/27/another-laguna-beach-star-busted/#comments

    My favorite part of the story was how her bail was set for 100K… Wasn’t Jessica’s family one of the “poor” families in Laguna? Maybe they can have a fashion show benefit to help raise money.

    Either way, that seems a little excessive for a DUI¦ Maybe the “police sources” in the story are covering up a possible involuntary manslaughter charge? Either way, a lot of things don’t add up.

  63. 63
    SpencerP
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:19 am

    I am pretty sure when we call people cokeheads we are reffering to the carbonated drink that originated in Atlanta. Unless these peopel are Pepsi people i don’t know what all the beef is about.

  64. 64
    BayArea
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:24 am

    typekey is annoying

    ^
    ^
    ^
    # 89 BAYAREA

  65. 65
    alexis44
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:25 am

    Just found out that there is indeed going to be a third season of the Hills. Apparently they are currently filming it.

  66. 66
    alexis44
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:36 am

    Also, I dont think it is fair to diss fashion school and label it as a joke shiaobundan. While it may be easy to get in it is a really tough industry to assert yourself in. I do agree with you though that it seems Emily is more qualified than Lauren in so far as knowledge of the industry.But seriously quoting K Cav? That girl lied about getting into USC on air, and now is an actress. At least Lauren is actually going to school.

  67. 67
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:44 am

    AC…are you with me about this recap? Am I all alone?

    If someone took a picture of my face while reading this recap and then LCon posted the picture of my face while reading this recap and then put a comment under the picture, it would have said something about how I look like I’m smelling a fart…because that’s what my face looked like while reading this recap. Eh.

  68. 68
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:53 am

    Cami’s Left Boob:

    It was pretty unbearable. I skipped a lot of it.

    And the caption of the picture of your face while reading this would fit in with LCon’s preoccupation with defecation and gas. How many screen captures can he relate to shit?

    I wanted to keep my dissatisfaction quiet, but I just couldn’t do it. I tried really hard, I really did. This recap was better than the first one, but still pretty awful.

  69. 69
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:54 am

    2) Spencer’s face is much thinner in the post-pregnancy scare picture. In fact, he’s starting to look gaunt. There couldn’t have been that much elapsed time between the two – three months, maybe? There could be a reasonable explanation, I’m sure, but it makes me wonder more seriously about drugs.

    I noticed the same thing! He looks like he is starting to unravel, which is another reason he might be really pressuring Heidi right now. Once he has total control over her it doesn’t matter how f*cked up things get, she won’t be able to walk away because she’ll have been completely isolated by that time.

    One of the most telling aspects of how entrenched she is, was when she blew off her mother’s birthday to try and see him at the clubs. I never believed she missed her plane, she was addicted to SpenTard.

    That’s the whole thing about their relationship, he’s playing into her LA fantasy and she’s mistaking charming manipulation for passion. Obviously as cold as he is, he can’t maintain ANY kind of sustained emotional comittments. He is an expert at manipulating naive people, and he exploits them for nothing other than his entertainment and self-aggrandizing agenda, even Brody is being victimized by him. He just doesn’t know it yet.

    When Heidi sits on his lap when they are out at the clubs, I literally see her as his puppet. He whispers in her ear, and pulls her strings and she springs into action – re-watch the whole JennJenner scenario, but watch SpenTard more closely, it’s creepy.

  70. 70
    Mrs.Meow
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:55 am

    Call me crazy, but I swear they showed a building and it said “Brody’s Condo” and then cut to Spencer and Heidi, with Heidi looking all over for her shoes, and Spencer playing on a laptop and bugging her to move in with him. What were they doing at Brody’s?! Anyone else catch this, or was I imagining things?

  71. 71
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:59 am

    I had a big problem with the first recap, liked the second one and really didn’t enjoy myself with this third installment. And I’m all about the enjoyment.

  72. 72
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    I agree with #98 and Cami’s Left Boob.

    This just isn’t fun anymore.

  73. 73
    Marble Rye
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    I don’t think Lauren hates Emily. I just think she would not want to work for her.
    Lauren likes the E-Z life. Home on the sofa by 5pm. It think its tough to be subjected to super Type A women when you are an L.A. girl. There is a difference in temperment. Whitney did not complain about. But she did have major problems with be ordered around by that Vogue editor on the shoot (Could you Keep those pins open!!!!)

  74. 74
    GeorgiaPeaches
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:23 pm

    I’m not going to call you an idiot, but claiming there is a libel case here is ridiculous. Ya’ll should do your homework before coming on here spouting out legal advice.

    I’m currently in law school, so I’ll enlighten you.

    1) In order to make a claim of defamation, the statement in question needs to be expressly stated or implied to be factual. A joke on the website TVGasm.com, which is known for witty interpretations of television shows, would not be considered an attempt to communicate a false claim.

    2) Even if the joke was implied to be factual, Jason would have no case because he is, or was, a cokehead. Statements presented to be factual must indeed be completely false to be defamatory in 99.9% of all courts in the United States. Jason has been in rehab several times.

    I’m getting fed up with all the attacks on this board. I come here to relax and laugh, and you people are making that really difficult. Instead of writing, “I’m entitled to my opinion” or “IMO,” you people should be forced to write “I’m entitled to my uneducated opinion” or “IMUO.” You know who you are.

    I think it’s funny you guys all think Laguna Consultant is a wannabe celebrity. You read the recap every week, yet you all post derogatory things about it. One would think you would be wise enough by now to realize this person is the permanent recapper, and if that’s the case, trying to convince people he sucks is nothing more than a cry for attention. Trying to push your own personal crusade against him on his own recap’s message board, is far more “wannabe celebrity” like than anything he has ever said or done.

    I would think if you hated the recap so much, and disagreed with everything he said like you claim, you would have found a new place to read about, and comment on the Hills. If I remember correctly, there is another Hills recap that keeps being pushed down our throats every week. Why don’t you guys go there? Oh that’s right, nobody comments on it, so your pleas for attention would go unnoticed.

    You people are all jealous of the position he is in, and it’s rather pathetic.

    And that’s not IMO, that is a fact.

  75. 75
    D-Bag
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    in the previews for next week, a blond woman, who i assume is amy astley, mentions to whitney that they want someone who knows what’s going to happen in l.a. before it happens, or some kind of garbage like that. i’m guessing the job, or at least one of them, is in los angeles.

    i doubt emily would even want to move to l.a. for that job, being the pet intern for new york headquarters. seriously, how many interns are flown cross country for this shit?

    my guess, two jobs, one for new york, one for los angeles. why would they bother flying whitney out there unless she already has the job, especially considering the rumor that a third season is in the works.

    also, i’m guessing that the scene between spencer and heidi occured after the shows have been airing. spencer has probably seen lauren’s comments about him.

    he obviously knows that the season is coming to an end and he’s trying to ensure his mtv viability.

    great job, l-con. getting better every week. and you should just make a move on that girl. if she resists, you can get all pissy and say that you just want to take your relationship to the next level. then blame lauren for getting between you.

  76. 76
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    Oh my, GeorgiaPeaches. Someone isn’t feeling too peachy today, huh?

    Get over yourself. I will post what I want, whenever I want. Who in the hell are you?

  77. 77
    Farts
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    Why do you all hate me?

  78. 78
    GeorgiaPeaches
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    Sorry. That was me.

  79. 79
    JerseyGirl
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    shia0bundan, as a fashion major I definitely have to disagree with your opinion about fashion schools. Yes, FIDM (which stand for Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising) is crappy but most fashion colleges are very selective about who they even want to apply, never mind who they accept. K. Cav wouldn’t know the first thinkg about college acceptance because she’s probably never experienced it.

    Mrs.Meow, I noticed that too. The way they were talking about Heidi always have to find her stuff made it seem like Spencer lives with Brody.

  80. 80
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:47 pm

    I’m getting fed up with all the attacks on this board. I come here to relax and laugh…

    I hear you sister!

    In reference to fart jokes, and screen recaps you might want to reference MYL screen recaps on the AI clipgasm posted today. I think we might need to just lighten up a little bit.

    Also, when your addicted to watching shit TV, scatological references are inevitable. I’m a dumb-ass, I love BJ jokes and farts still make me laugh.

    I think we should concentrate on what’s important – how much we all hate SpenTard. And WTF happened to Ashes?

  81. 81
    GeorgiaPeaches
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:47 pm

    That was mainly directed towards other, more outspoken, people with clearly biased opinions.

  82. 82
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    JerseyGirl,
    I wasn’t saying all fashion schools are crappy. I’m saying FIDM in particular is a joke, and it really says something for a girl with as much money as Lauren to end up there.

    I really don’t want to bring up the old KCav/LC debate, but one of them graduated with a 3.5 and got into USC, one went to FIDM, which only requires a GED. Match em up.

  83. 83
    nurseratched
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    laguna consultant, loved the recap! you are quite a nice successor to b-side. keep doing more pics and captions (very entertaining). yea, maybe a little less poo though.

    marble rye #38 – your adjectives are right on!

    …aaaand spencer is a scary controlling douche-bag son of a bitch.

    so what if whitney bumbles a lot…she’s super cute, classy, and knows what she’s gotta do to move up and on with life. it’s cool how lisa love responded to her fall too.

    emily shouldn’t be hated that much…yea, she’s a shark but she’s doing what she’s supposed to be doing as an intern (maybe exceeding?) that’s how she’ll be a powerhouse…not by hanging on the beach instead of PARIS…

    AAAAAAAAND…..has anyone noticed or even mentioned Audrina’s kinda awful neck TATOO??

    —nurseratched—

  84. 84
    Mgasm
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    Georgia Peaches,

    You need to calm the fuck down. Don’t take things so seriously…go eat a peach.
    I merely pointed out that calling J-Whal a coke head was a bit disconcerting to me. I think that he probably is a coke head and I know he’s a douchebag. I understand that this is a blog…which may be interpreted as entertainment (as I do.) But, in recent cases bloggers have used shield laws to protect themselves…like journalists.
    And, if you’re really in law school…then you would have cited NY Times vs. Sullivan, you retard.
    Also, I thought GunaCon did a really good job last week…which brought me back this week.
    Now, I am a little disappointed with this recap, but I never took any pot shots at him. I think he’s trying really hard and has improved tremendously. So, as I said earlier…calm the fuck down. What are you GunaCon’s fucking girlfriend? Why are you taking everything so personally?

  85. 85
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    #121 = Chee-Z, sigh!

    TVGASM – PLEASE FIX THE TYPEKEY FUNCTION!!!! IT’S DRIVING US ALL CRAZY!! I think it’s just an administrative setting on your network, if that helps?

    Sorry to bitch, but I’m getting frustrated…. I still love you though.

  86. 86
    Mgasm
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    I can’t believe that Spencer tried to run Heidi over with his car. She is truly stupid if she moves in with him.
    I don’t get it. Should I believe the trailer for next week? Where is she going exactly? Will they get their own show? Will they still be on the Hills? My mind is boggled.

  87. 87
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    Georgia Peach:

    It’s hard to be reading something for years, (the LB recaps and Hills) and then suddenly stop. The comments are for opinions, and these are ours.

    I actually enjoyed the last recap. This one, not so much. So I’m going to say that I didn’t enjoy this one so much and maybe LCon can do something about that.

    You seriously need to calm it down

  88. 88
    D-Bag
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    lots of riff raff showing up on the board these days. hey kids, “the devil’s advocate” was a shitty movie. don’t be keanu, it’s not becoming.

    now i don’t mind contrary opinions, i just don’t like the same fucking bullshit repeated over and over again. that’s why the televisionwithoutpity boards suck and get shut down all the time. we get it. you’re not happy. you think you can do better. your daddy never loved you. waa waa waa.

    back on topic. one of the things that was glossed over was how mouthy lauren was while trying to pump up whitney in front of alt. that’s a good friend and coworker. i was impressed.

    i also like the little look whitney gave to lauren while she was recounting the story to audrina. lauren repeated the fact that it was live tv for the third time and whitney paused for beat as if to say, “bitch, it’s my time now.” then she quickly snapped back to sweet sweet whitney.

    i seriously think lisa love has a bit of a girl crush on whitney. i have a man crush on her situated in the crotch area of my jeans.

  89. 89
    EstelleHairball
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    I thought that Lauren and Whitney did a good job at the fittings for the photo shoot. They were helpful, which is what interns are supposed to do. It also had to be a tough assignment, simply because of the stress of performing in front of the bigwigs though. I did love the look on SuperEmily’s face when the other interns were complimented by ALT. He’s just a big queen who jets around the world going to fashion shows, he helps debutants shop, and he helps newbies like Jennifer Hudson get ready for awards shows.

    As far as SPEIDI goes, too bad we all know she is with the loser.

    My predictions for season 3 include:

    Whiney’s job at Teen Vogue, Lauren’s clothing line, and her being the new face of some makeup line called “Mark”. Oh, and here’s to hoping Spencer gets arrested, and Heidi has to give his rear end medical treatment after he gets out of jail…

  90. 90
    EstelleHairball
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    I thought that Lauren and Whitney did a good job at the fittings for the photo shoot. They were helpful, which is what interns are supposed to do. It also had to be a tough assignment, simply because of the stress of performing in front of the bigwigs though. I did love the look on SuperEmily’s face when the other interns were complimented by ALT. He’s just a big queen who jets around the world going to fashion shows, he helps debutants shop, and he helps newbies like Jennifer Hudson get ready for awards shows.

    As far as SPEIDI goes, too bad we all know she is with the loser.

    My predictions for season 3 activity include:

    Whitney’s job at Teen Vogue, Lauren’s clothing line, and her being the new face of some makeup line called “Mark”. Oh, and here’s to hoping Spencer gets arrested, and Heidi has to give his rear end medical treatment after he gets out of jail…

  91. 91
    GeorgiaPeaches
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    Sorry Mgasm, I haven’t taken blog libel 101 yet. You’ll have to let me know what website you Googled to verify that you were wrong.

  92. 92
    Madeyoulaugh
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    CALM DOWN EVERYONE OR SO HELP ME I WILL TURN THIS RECAP RIGHT AROUND!

    LCON youre doing great.

    Cheez – the typepad function isnt our issue, they were having problems so we turned of the need to login to post ad allow anonymous posting. When J-Unit left so too did our knowledge of how to do anything techie, Im soooo not a tech guy. A friend of mine is trying to get himself caught up with the inner workings of tvgasm and should be able to help me with some of those problems going forward. In the meantime know we are working on it and I am trying to get things back to normal as soon as possible.

    MYL

  93. 93
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    Georgia Peaches

    You’ll make a great lawyer..you’re already an ass. Leave Mgasm alone…she’s contributed many funny things to these comments sections than most…which makes me come back for more.

  94. 94
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    I wonder what law school Ms. Peach goes to?

  95. 95
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    The FIDM of law schools…oh, that was mean, I think FIDM is a good school.

  96. 96
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA.

  97. 97
    SusanS
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    On Emily, I’m sure that she works hard, and I’m sure she does more than a decent job, which probably engenders a little envy. However, some of her rubbing folks the wrong way is not because she is “super intern” but because she seems to be selling herself as such. Case in point – she knew all the flower names (and was sure to show she did), but, at the same time, put way too many of them on the table! Additionally, some of the oil/water mix is the difference between East Coasters and West Coasters from a presentation standpoint. Lauren may not be a brain trust, but she’s not an idiot, and she does work hard at that job. But, even when she’s listening, she looks spacey and seems a little out of it. Emily gives that “I’m thinking really hard” look, when she very well could be thinking about her nail polish. Emily, when she came to the West Coast made it very clear that she had her crap together (if you weren’t sure, she told you). Meanwhile, Whitney has been interning for quite some time herself. And, when asked whether she should model, Whitney mentioned her height. I don’t see Emily responding in the same fashion. Emily, I’m sure, is a perfectly nice girl, but I’m not sure she’s as tight as she acts and thinks she is. That’s certainly ok, she’s young. But if I had someone like Emily going from my peer to my boss in the span of what would be 12-16 weeks, it could be a little hard to take.
    I’m also not 100% sure I buy that Lauren didn’t have a clue who Leon Talley is, being in that office – it seems like more exposition for the cameras.

  98. 98
    cath619
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    seriously!!!! chill out people!

  99. 99
    toomuchtv
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    Keep whoever wrote this recap – it was awesome! I died laughing when they showed Speidi at Don Antonio’s with the huge plume of smoke. I couldn’t wait to hear what you would have to say about that! Too funny.

  100. 100
    GeorgiaPeaches
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    and I wonder what charter school you went too…

  101. 101
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:20 pm

    Let’s create some positive vibes . . .by focusing all of our energy on hating Spencer!

  102. 102
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    AC,

    I agree.

    But I still think it’s unfair to be hated on for disagreeing with the majority.

  103. 103
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    ???????????

  104. 104
    cath619
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    that’s a buh-rill-iant idea… down with spencer. for as awful as jason was, spencer is a thousand times worse!! i’m sure there’s a good amount of editing that goes into what we see of him, but telling heidi he already has decided her living arrangements?? yikes… where’s the think.mtv.com PSAs for emotional abuse?

  105. 105
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    alexis44

    Did she really? I know she doesn’t go there anymore but I was under the impression that she went for like two weeks.

    Meh. That’s reality TV stars for ya!

    Again, I’m not saying fashion school or fashion careers are a joke. I’m saying FIDM is a joke. Just all going back to the original point. I would take an intern from NYU over one from FIDM any day.

    Unless of course, the FIDM one happens to have MTV cameras following her around.

  106. 106
    MissKatrina
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    Darn Typekey…I was #85.

    Anyway, regarding the poo jokes, the whole Speidi at Don Antonio’s photo caption sequence was from Billy Madison (right?).

    As such, in this court of TVGasm law, I find the defendant (L-Con) to be not guilty of poo obsession. Spencer, however, is guilty of billions of counts of 3rd degree douchery. Court dismissed!

    MissKatrina

  107. 107
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    By the way.. you guys are getting crazy here! O_O Isn’t it better to bash on the characters (or worship whatever you choose) than umm each other? Libel? Law school? What?

    D-Bag, I think TWOP nazimods would’ve shut 3/4ths of us down looooooong ago. :D

  108. 108
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    I love the poo jokes. Diarrea next week please!

  109. 109
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    I think Whitney falling was the best thing that could happen. She got noticed. Anna Wintour knows her name and Amy Ansley (What’s her last name again?) wrote her a letter…which I would have framed as well.

    Her back looked amazing in that dress!

  110. 110
    alexis 44
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    Yea, she lied about getting in there. She went to Loyola Marymont for a few weeks, and then dropped out because she wanted to ride on her laguna fame and become an actress.

  111. 111
    kizik
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    Mandymax (#71),

    Thanks for joining Team Spencer Is On Drugs!

    This guy is the biggest douchebag I’ve ever seen on TV, and deserves greatly to be called out on his drug use. My vote is that it’s cocaine. Other people have said meth. LagunaConsultant disagrees with me, saying that coke makes your pupils bigger and Spencer’s are normal. Who the fuck knows. He’s on something, though.

    I really liked Chee-Z TV’s post (#57) about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and how Spencer probably has it. Chee-z goes on to say that coke is the drug of choice for people w/ NPD.

    We’ll never know anything for sure about Spencer except: someone needs to shoot him in the face. Maybe it will be the Godfather (Cami’sleftboob).

  112. 112
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    Cami’s Left Boob,

    I agree with you. It’s very unfair for us to be constantly picked on just because we disagree with “The Majority.” Whatever. What are we going to do, you know? Just know that you have many silent supporters of The Resistance!

    Aside from that, we have one more episode left of the season. We can stand one more recap, right? Maybe it’ll be more like recap #2 than attempts #1 and #3.

    PS- My question were not directed towards you.

  113. 113
    D-Bag
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    touche, anonymous (or mgasm, or cami’s left boob, or ac – do you guys all go to the same high school? be honest, are you in computer lab right now?)

    in my defense, i try to stay on topic. the topic being my penis. oh! giggity giggity! okay, i’ll stop now. no more pervy personals crap.

    re: the godfather. i posted a few eps back that i have witnessed this weird culture of “benefactors” around l.a., picking up the tabs, etc. some of them get a profile like brandon davis or stavros something greek, from actually fucking someone famous. i have no idea why this godfather would pick low renters like brody and spencer.

    maybe spencer is being forced to lay down with his new master. he looks all strung out like robert downey jr. in “less than zero” or the past ten years.

    re: whitney’s fall into grace. the episode should have been called “failing upwards.” something that happens with some regularity here in l.a..

  114. 114
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    D-Bag,

    Are you, like Mgasm and I, from Los Angeles as well?

    I hate when Spencer pulls his Los Angeles attitude out. Makes me feel embarrassed to be from this great city.

    I need a GodMother myself.

  115. 115
    kizik
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    D-Bag,

    I like how you’re thinking. Spencer is being man-whored. Hence the haggard face. Still, I suspect drugs too.

  116. 116
    AC
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Cami:

    My QUESTION MARKS were not directed towards you. They were directed towards Elle Woods.

    D-Bag:

    Computer lab! LOL! You’re cute. But, no . . .computer lab ended for me nearly 5 years ago. I miss it though.

    How’d I get brought into this whole thing? I never told you to stay on topic or anything. Hm . . .

  117. 117
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    #109 is the funniest post of the day!

    possibley the smile of the week LMAO!

  118. 118
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    oh dear
    don’t hate on my spelling – just a tired old hag who can’t type

  119. 119
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    Thanks for the TypeKey update MYL! Sorry I was so bitchy… hanging my head in shame….

    If you want me to, I can email you with my contact info, I’m an Apple Authorized Service Provider and might be able to help you out.

    In the spirit of the infinite wisdom of Rodney King: “Can’t we all just get along?!” Seriously, we ALL hate the SpenTard, we ALL agree Brody is a borderline retard, and we ALL agree that JennJenner is orange. Three issues of agreement are enough to effect a truce, IMO! :-)

  120. 120
    madeyoulaugh
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    chee-z

    hit me up madeyoulaugh@tvgasm.com

    I pretty much know blog basics and porn googles. Thats the extent of my saavyness

    MYL

  121. 121
    elljay8
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    OK, I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but I just have to say:

    Mgasm, you clearly have no idea what you’re talking about in your “concern” for LCon’s possible liability for libel. GeorgiaPeaches’ two-pronged explanation of the law in this area was clear, concise and correct. Oh, and I don’t know about GeorgiaPeaches, but I don’t go to the FIDM of law schools.

    LCon, no one was sadder than I was when B-Side left. I have a serious crush on him. But your recaps are getting better and better each week. Please keep up the good work!

  122. 122
    SpencerP
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    How about instead of harping on everyone’s stupidity (b/c let’s face it we all have to had to have at least a partial lobotomy to watch this mindump The Hills, let alone read a recap about it) just come up with captions for the uncaptioned pics:

    1. How do you keeth da fork fromth stickinth you in the toungth?
    2. whoever smelt it, dealt it! Or is it whomever?
    3. You gonna eat the rest of that Beef and Cheedar?
    4. Oh I get it, I have to open wider, stupid forks!
    5.Shit! The whole time camera’s have been on me?

  123. 123
    cath619
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:03 pm

    oh my goodness, thank you SpencerP… number three is killin me!

    (and it’s “whoever.” because the answer would be “she (or he) dealt it,” and “s/he” is in the nominative case, not the objective case.)

    /dork

  124. 124
    BayArea
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    Cheez Z RE: “Please tell me you’re joking BayArea! You seem way too smart and funny to have someone like that in your life!”

    Aww you’re so nice, but as I’ve mentioned earlier I do have a mini spencer in my life. He attempts to manipulate and I laugh. (I even got the living together pressure) I stay with him because Im moving to LA in June because of a job op I have soooo…there will be the inevitable split. (He doesnt know that yet though) Enough about me….

    Everyone is so witty on here, stop with the fights. I think GeorgiaPeach (??) did a great job explaining the general idea of the law regulations on here…lets move on. Although, picturing them all in a computer room heckling us together cracked me up.

    The reason it upsets me to see people hating on LCon is because he’s one of us trying his best. Enough with raining on the LCon parade. State you didn’t like it once, maybe some suggestions then move on. I did notice AC’s restraint in the beggining, but his peers pushed him to the more negative posts.

    SpencerP – haha! that’s funny stuff.

  125. 125
    SweetSassyMolassey
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:13 pm

    I too thought this recap was awesome! Billy Madison is one of the few movies I know by heart and the reference was truly well-placed.

  126. 126
    SweetSassyMolassey
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    Hey #37, look what I found in reading the Details article:

    “He and Pratt have a fleet of cars (including a Rolls-Royce Phantom and a Bentley Turbo) at their disposal, paid for by Jared Najjar, a member of their entourage they call the Godfather. “He’s the only 24-year-old kid I know who has a Black Card,” Jenner says. As a believer in the Brody Brand, the Godfather, heir to a commercial-real-estate fortune, is helping finance Jenner’s “lifestyle” line, Archangel, which consists of “pieces” like a $92,000 skull-and-diamond wallet chain.”

  127. 127
    LovinLaguna
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    In case it says Anonymous, this is lovinlaguna.

    Laguna Consultant or anyone that knows, no one answered the question about Wh-Wh-Wh-Whitney.

    Just thought I would help that poster out.

    DA Darling: Do you live in Dallas?

  128. 128
    poodle
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:14 pm

    awesome recap! you have come into your own laguna consult.

  129. 129
    LovinLaguna
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    I’ll clarify,
    The Wh-Wh-Whitney question was why is she referred to as that.

  130. 130
    simper1
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    From #104 “ If I remember correctly, there is another Hills recap that keeps being pushed down our throats every week.

    From #114 “ And what is this other funny recap site that I don’t know about?

    Here it is!

    PS “ I LOVE TVgasm and read it all the time. This is not to detract, just to add to the enjoyment if you are so inclined. :)

  131. 131
    jozeyg
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 10:37 pm

    Jessica went to jail for drunk driving and causing an accident on the freeway!! tsk tsk….following in Jason’s footsteps…….wow, she really does love him.

  132. 132
    simper1
    Posted March 28, 2007 at 11:27 pm

    I too, constantly wonder what Heidi’s parents must be thinking. I once read an interview with Heidi’s mom, and she sounded just like an older Heidi. It’s unbelievable.

  133. 133
    KristinA
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 6:30 am

    My friend lives in LA and said that Heidi and Spencer are moving in together in the condo complex next to hers and that taping has started for the next season of the Hills. So there ya go, they DEF movi in together

  134. 134
    Marble Rye
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 6:43 am

    See that just sucks. What do they get for being low life, two faced liars…..another season on MTV!

    Hopefully there will be less camera time involved. Although we are all so fascinated with their train wreck of a relatonship, I doubt it.

  135. 135
    Emily the Intern
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 7:32 am

    How can you not know how to spell Yalie. I am already memorizing botanical names in central African dialects.

  136. 136
    ABC Girl
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 8:36 am

    I hope Whitney gets a job with Vogue. She handled herself with grace & dignity despite her fall. I would be proud to have her work for me.
    In other intern news, my best friend works for Conde Nast–the publisher of Vogue & Teen Vogue– and she tells me that Emily has a permanent job with her own email address at the company now, Whitney and Lauren do not yet…

  137. 137
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 9:41 am

    Ha ha ha…

    You guys have to admit, this is probably the ONLY reality TV blog that could possibly bear witness to an Ivy League catfight!!!

    I guess people can think whatever they want, and we can insult each other; but you have to admit – we are probably one of the smartest blogging communities in the history of Reality TV. I’m not Ivy Leaugue myself, but I do the NYT crossword puzzle every day – and the Sunday Times puzzle in PEN (while eating bagels and drinking copious amounts of coffee in bed! LOL! – Hey it’s Sunday, I have to wash the sheets anyway!)

    I do think are some retards (or should I say Goofy Bastards) here, but thankfully they are few and far between – and I think most of us would ALL agree on who they are!

    Is anybody going to check out Taquito and Queefy? After The Hills next week? Are they from that P-Diddy show?

  138. 138
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 10:35 am

    Have we gotten a definitive answer on the gender of Ashes before? Ashes itself sounds fairly masculine, but it could just as easily be short for Ashley, or a Lagunafied nickname for Ashton-Charles or Ashanti-Mercedes.

    Also, you can’t rule out the possibility that Ashes has been neutered and has no gender at all. Now that I think of it, isn’t there a guy named Ashley Parker Angel?

    Too¦ Many¦ Possibilities¦

  139. 139
    easydoesit
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 10:39 am

    I don’t see why Emily is disliked. She hasn’t done anything to anyone on the show. She is simply favored by the Teen Vogue powers that be and she knows it. So what she’s priviledged, I think it’s great that being priviledged hasn’t stopped her from being hard working, ambitious and knowledgable in her field unlike Lazy Lauren. It’s interesting that Lauren’s life of excessive couch sitting and lackadaisical
    attitude regarding school and work rather than Emily’s confident overachieving is more appealing to so many people. That says a lot.

  140. 140
    Ican'tbelieveI'mwritingthis
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 11:33 am

    I wonder if the reason that Spencer is so adamant about having Heidi move in w/ him has anything to do w/ MTV. . . think they maybe offered him a spinoff of the Hills if he could get her to move in?

  141. 141
    6 Train Rider
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 11:46 am

    I worked for a guy in a NYC ad agency. It thought he was nice, but kind of laid back and spacy. He decided to move to L.A. and went to another ad agency. He didn’t last long. They said he was too intense, too driven too type A. That always stuck with me. It made me shy away from a move too the West Coast just because I would be misunderstood.
    So I think there is a lot of that in the way people look at Emily. Hey I just got off the subway (after a building collapse closed my station), and I don’t feel, look or sound as mellow as Whitney. But I am just as nice deep down.

  142. 142
    lovedoctor
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 12:09 pm

    very distracted by what looks like ACNE on spencer’s face.
    needs a derm appointment

    and maybe whitney too, i noticed a bunch of moles on her back when she was modeling the dress (of course noted BEFORE she took her adorable tumble)

    Heidi might need an appointment with a chiropractor given her strange loping walk

  143. 143
    lovedoctor
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    ps harvard ROCKS

  144. 144
    Don Antonio
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    At the risk of drawing the wrath of the board, I’ll give Laguna Consultant a C+ for this one. A couple of grin-inducers in here, but my short-lived addiction to this site is fading. In terms of the show, it was hard to take the big Spencer-Heidi argument too seriously, when current sources say that they’re still together. The best moment was easily when Spencer was wordlessly pumping his fist as the waiter served the chow at Don Antonios. I’ve been to a few decent restaurants, and can’t recall a time when I felt inclined to do that upon receiving my food. I hope that that enthusiasm was reflected in the gratuity. Also, interesting to see that Spencer and Brody went to the same school of dainty, hands-free, tiny straw sucking.

  145. 145
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    I’ve been trying to figure out what might have caused the sudden change of heart by Heidi regarding moving in with shithead since Monday aired, and I think I might have come up with something.

    As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been pondering what the impact would be when the girls saw the episodes on TV, so I went back and checked the air date for the Bunney/Jenner fight. That show aired on February 26 – which was the week after the GMA shoot, and when MTV wants us to believe the alley bitch fight happened. Is it possible that Heidi assumed everything was fine with Lauren when she told Spencer no, but then Jenn’s birthday party aired that Monday, and everything hit the skids after that?

    I’m firmly in the camp that believes Heidi’s actions were far and away more despicable than Jenn’s that night. Jenn didn’t seem to be acting out of malice that night; she was too consumed with hooking up with Brody to really think clearly about the consequences. Heidi had NOTHING to gain by Jenn hooking up with Brody, so why did she keep encouraging something that was going to hurt her best friend? Heidi had no ulterior motive, other than pleasing her dumb boyfriend by screwing her supposed best friend who he despises.

    The last 3 weeks of shows made it appear Lauren believed Jenn was acting on her own, and that Heidi’s role in the whole thing was minimal. We know that was not the case, and Lauren found that out as well after the Oscars. All of a sudden a month later, there are picturing floating around the internet of Lauren, Brody and Jenn catching rays in Cabo, and Heidi and Spencer are moving in together. Maybe Lauren decided she couldn’t live with someone that would intentionally hurt her like that anymore? It is also possible that they continued living together, but their relationship deteriorated to the point they didn’t speak anymore, and Heidi decided that their relationship may never be the same, and opted to try and salvage something with Spencer.

    There’s an endless array of possibilities, but I have a funny feeling that episode on February 26 had a lot to do with it.

    What do you guys think?

  146. 146
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    A little gossip for y’all:

    Jordan and Brian (Season 1 rejects) live with Andy Milanokis. They have all made a movie together about a struggling actor and a plus size model who move to LA. My friend’s sister is producing it.

    I’m loving every minute of this.

    Oh, and J-Whal is in it. Maybe he’s doing scenes from J-ail.

  147. 147
    cherin
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    LCon, I agree about your comment (#222)
    Once I found out how short of a turnaround time there was between reality and the episodes airing I figured that the cast of the show’s actions would be influenced by watching the episodes while this was still being taped.
    I know that if I watched my best friend be a d*ck behind my back on tv while she was hanging out in the next room would definitely cause conflict.

    And I think you’re doing a great job with the recaps, you’re definitely finding your stride with them. Despite what others that won’t cut you a break might say.
    If you can recap Laguna Beach this well I bet Rocky will send you another outfit from her wardrobe…

  148. 148
    D-Bag
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    hey caliny, you’re now a long time reader and 14 time poster!

    i also lived in new york for a few years, and while people there are definitely on point compared to l.a. folk, they’re not necessarily any smarter and or better at their jobs than people on the west coast.

    most of the douchebags i’ve met while working in entertainment haven’t even been from los angeles. several are from new york, the midwest, and for some reason, arizona.

    and i like emily. she seems to be extremely enthusiatic and good at her job. i have no doubt that she’ll have a future at regular vogue or another similar publication. however, she’s a 41 year old woman trapped in a 21 year old body. i can see why lisa love picked her for the fashion dinner in that earlier episode. not only is she from out of town, she could probably relate better to the older guests.

    her weakness? i can’t see emily relating to the average young woman or teenager. there’s a disconnect. i doubt she would have the patience. she’s like a younger version of the fashion editor, lawren – just a bit more polished.

    on the other hand, lauren and whitney obviously relate to the average teen vogue reader. given their personalities, i can see them relating for years to come. and seriously, can you imagine emily as a mom? quelle horror!

    gunacon, i like your theory about heidi. it’s got to be weird to see episodes while you’re still shooting.

    i wonder how season three will be with all the tension. ugh, even more spencer-doodle. don’t think i can take it.

  149. 149
    Me from D.C.
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Have you seen the Details article with Brody and Spencer? That could explain why Spencer wants Heidi to move in so badly – he wants to release a sex tape of them…what a creepy loser!

  150. 150
    babeblue
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    wh-wh-wh-whitney is an old b-side nickname. i’ve gotten so used to calling her that, that i don’t remember the original context. still cracks me up though.

    try checking the first few recaps of season one.

  151. 151
    bettyjoe
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    LCon good recap- u are getting better and better every week. yah for u! :)

    SO spencer is an ass and heidi is the dumb girl that doesn’t know any better. A lot of people don’t understand why she is still with him especially since he pressured her to move in with him. A good boyfriend does not do that, they listen and understand and if u don’t want to move in with him he accepts it and thats that. If spencer truly loved her then he would do anything for her, not get all mad and kicks her out of his car and nearly runs her over. what a douchbag!!!

  152. 152
    bettyjoe
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    LCon good recap- u are getting better and better every week. yah for u! :)

    SO spencer is an ass and heidi is the dumb girl that doesn’t know any better. A lot of people don’t understand why she is still with him especially since he pressured her to move in with him. A good boyfriend does not do that, they listen and understand and if u don’t want to move in with him he accepts it and thats that. If spencer truly loved her then he would do anything for her, not get all mad and kicks her out of his car and nearly runs her over. what a douchbag!!!

    He must be reeallllyyyy good in bed in order for him to still stick around. is great sex worth it?

  153. 153
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    If Heidi’s trying to move up the food-chain for career purposes, she’d be a lot smarter to pursue the guys from “Sons of Hollywood”.

    At least they work, and don’t have to rely on pimps – I mean sugar-daddies, I mean wealthy “friends” who want to screw them – to provide them with cars, money, apartments and social entree into nightclubs.

    SpenTard and BroJenn = Bottom-feeders. And yes, I DO mean that in more than the given context!

  154. 154
    Marble Rye
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    Somebody said it earlier….its not sex that keeps Heidi hooked. …its her dream of becoming a porn star/singer…and Spencer trolls deals for her. Who did she say she wants to be ….I read it somewhere…a cross between Gwen Strefani and Christina A?…….Heidi is absurd….Spencer is a dirtball. Its the modern day Midnight Cowboy with Spencer as RATSO Rizzo “I’m driving here…” and Heidi in the Jon Voight role.

  155. 155
    FastBetty
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Victory carries with it the distinct odor of A1; very nicely done, LagunaC!
    Oh, yeah. Also…BU!!!
    Ummm…woop-woop….?

  156. 156
    LovinLaguna
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    As much as I would love to agree with Laguna Constultant’s theory on Heidi and Lauren’s friendship, and seeing everything in real time now, I still tend to believe that the drama was all mostly fake. It just doesn’t all add up and make sense that someone would stick around with Spencer after seeing his statements or that Lauren would be dumb enough to remain friends with Jenn and Brody and go to Cabo with them? I mean, that’s not even yeah I forgive you but we’ll be distant from now on, that’s full on you’re the people I’m going to spend all my time with especially vacation time?

    I cry foul.

  157. 157
    Tara
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    am I the only one that loves Spencer?? That comment in the car was awesome!

  158. 158
    Mr. Sniffles
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    Plenty of girls are morons for guys. Guys do plenty of shitty things and many times the girl will actually want him more, the worse he is. I don’t think it is suprising Heidi is with him.

    i do not not why. it just happends.

    love,

    Mr. Sniffles

  159. 159
    carriec
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 3:22 pm

    Where’s KConrad? We need verification on the status of Lauren’s friendships. I’d gotten the impression from her last posts (like 3 episodes ago) that Jenn was out. And I need to know – is there a season 3 and also what about Laguna Beach?

    PS – Yes, Tara, I believe you are the only one that loves Spencer.

  160. 160
    GnomeCorp
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 6:44 pm

    Hey GeorgiaPeaches – RELAX!

  161. 161
    kizik
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    Here’s an idea:

    why don’t you guys– I’m looking at YOU, caliny– stop posting fucking repeats! It’s rude to all the rest of us. Do you think that we’re going to give a shit about what you say more if you post your stupid message more than once?

    ID-iots.

  162. 162
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    LOL! Kizik I was going to call you a big meanie, but then I actually looked up and saw that he/she did not double post. It was a decuple post + 1!

    So therefore, I concur. Double post, excusable. Triple-quadruple post, can be overlooked. Decuple post!? Unheard of!

  163. 163
    LovinLaguna
    Posted March 29, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    Where is moodylupin? Are you lost in Puerto Rico?

  164. 164
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 5:42 am

    I’m pretty sure that wasn’t B-Side…

    He most likely would have used his Typekey login to avoid confusion.

    Although, B-Side did mention to me that he and J-Unit were in Don Antonio’s AGAIN on Friday, so anything is possible.

  165. 165
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 5:47 am

    Also, Laguna IS currently taping, but there’s a twist… More on this later.

  166. 166
    MissKatrina
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 7:09 am

    L-Con, tell us more!

    (P.S. 5:42 a.m?! Do you have to get up that disgustingly early for work?)

  167. 167
    jla85
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 7:17 am

    I think I may have figured out the secret of Don Antonio’s!

    So I was reading a Maxim that my boyfriend left (mainly cause he always says girl’s magazines are better because they’re dirtier…but I was just curious) and came upon an interesting article. It’s about a guy who used to sell large amounts of weed throughout Hollywood, until he got caught.

    That’s not the interesting part, however.

    Excerpt:

    “Cruising through the Hills in a tricked-out Lincoln Navigator on loan from a fellow drug runner who left the game when he found religion, Oz can’t help but point out the sites of his former glory: the tanning salon where you could order up Vicodin or steriods; the Melrose Avenue tattoo parlor that moves 50 to 100 pounds of weed a week: THE MEXICAN RESTAURANT THAT SERVES UP KILOS OF COKE WITH ITS CARNE ASADA.

    Maybe that’s why Spencer likes it so much.

  168. 168
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 7:49 am

    I’m on the east coast Katrina, and TVGasm uses PST… So that is really 8:42am for me.

    I do usually have to get up around 6am though.

  169. 169
    Cybit
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 10:05 am

    wow, so my fiancee isn’t the only one who does that….

    the recaps are definitely getting better laguna consultant. And yes, give us the twist. I’m spamming refresh nonstop, gib the twist!

  170. 170
    bettyjoe
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 10:50 am

    L-con whats the twist??

    is heidi going to narrate it instead? give us the scoop

  171. 171
    bettyjoe
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 10:52 am

    L-con whats the twist??

    is heidi going to narrate it instead or something like that? give us the scoop!!!!!!

  172. 172
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 11:27 am

    Can’t yet… I need to check off first… Check back tonight or early tomorrow.

  173. 173
    flodence
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    apart from sponge off his parents for coin, how does Spencer the Tool earn money? What does he do all day?

  174. 174
    D-Bag
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    he sucks cock. excessive semen consumption causes acne and delusions of grandeur.

  175. 175
    shiaobundan
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    ^
    He’s a literal ho for “The Godfather”, one of his and Brody’s Hollywood Benefactors.

  176. 176
    ATag
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    Get this he-bitch a Midol and a wine cooler?! AWESOME

  177. 177
    msu11y28
    Posted March 30, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    caught a re-run of this episode today and it finally dawned on me why I dislike Emily so much……..does anyone else find her personality/looks/even her tone of voice bears striking similiarties to the evil KINA of Road Rules??

  178. 178
    carriec
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 8:17 am

    So, I just read that MTV is planning a spin-off of the Hills with Wh-wh-whitney’s little sis, Jade. True, false? Anyone else heard this?

  179. 179
    porcelain
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 10:48 am

    carriec,

    I haven’t heard. Where did you read this?

  180. 180
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 11:24 am

    Jade!?
    Errr. THat’s kind of ridiculous. I wouldn’t watch.

  181. 181
    carriec
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 11:49 am

    That’s the thing – I read it in Life and Style Magazine, not the most reliable source. So, I’m curious if this is true or if it has anything to do with the twist Laguna Consultant is talking about.

  182. 182
    porcelain
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    On Wikipedia it says MTV will also do a spin off of Laguna Beach- Newport Beach

    If this is true, could this be part of the twist?

  183. 183
    Cybit
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    Hrm don’t see anything on wiki about a spin-off.

    Come on L-Con, give it up! :D

  184. 184
    marilyn monhoe
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 2:40 pm

    Jessica from Lagun Beach was arrested for dui with a blood alcohol level of .1something

  185. 185
    McCreamy
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    L-Con! It’s LATE tomorrow and still no scoop! Come on we’re hungry!

  186. 186
    shia0bundan
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    Whaaat!? That is so lame. The reason Season 3 sucked was because the girls were all spoiled bitches and they knew it. Season 1 & 2 had a bunch of rich kids too, but they didn’t purposely flaunt it. Moving the show to Newport is ridiculous! Newport is a MILLION times more superficial than Laguna Beach. Christ, Liz Gately had ONE good idea with Laguna Beach, but obviously that was some kind of fluke. She’s much more steady at churning out bad ideas and crap, apparently.

  187. 187
    porcelain
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laguna_Beach:_The_Real_Orange_County

    If you scroll all the way down to ‘Season 4 Speculation’:
    ”
    It has been announced that MTV is doing a season 4 and will also be doing a spin off called Newport Beach”

    That’s all it says. Don’t know about the accuracy of this…

  188. 188
    Cybit
    Posted March 31, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    hrm. That makes no sense? Unless you’re going to do two separate series, one in Laguna and one in Newport, why would you have your cast members travel to newport? I don’t see how that changes anything in the slightest >_<

  189. 189
    flodence
    Posted April 1, 2007 at 1:42 am

    moodylupin

    where are you?….

  190. 190
    Cybit
    Posted April 1, 2007 at 10:15 am

    oh sheesh, april fool’s. this makes more sense now. >_<

  191. 191
    heehaw
    Posted April 2, 2007 at 3:57 am

    “stupid car!” brilliant at this moment i actually felt bad for her, which makes as much sense as what she said.

  192. 192
    AC
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 6:20 am

    So excited to discuss last night’s show. OMG! :)

    I wish B-Side would make a special re-appearance just in honor of the finale!

  193. 193
    Casedilla
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 10:45 am

    I know this isn’t L-Con or B-Side, but in the meantime this recap from Entertainment Weekly’s website is tiding me over…

  194. 194
    Casedilla
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 10:47 am

    Oops, forgot to include in last post. Here you go:

    http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20033462,00.html

  195. 195
    easydoesit
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 11:46 am

    I hope this hasn’t been posted, WAR RAGES ON THE HILLS

    http://usmagazine.com/war_rages_in_i_the_hills_i

    Some highlight:
    “Lauren and Heidi are no longer friends,” a Hills source tells us. “They never talk or hang out. Spencer achieved his goal and broke them apart.”

    The feud heated up even more Monday night. Sources snitch that Montag declined MTV’s invitation to attend The Hills: Finale After Party filmed before a live studio audience at MTV Studios in NYC last night…..A source tells Usmagazine.com that she opted to stay back in Los Angeles with Pratt, who was not invited. “Heidi was offended they wouldn’t invite Spencer.”

    Meanwhile, Pratt and Montag are still shacking up in a Hollywood apartment. “We’re going to take over the world,” Pratt recently told Usmagazine.com. “Heidi is the biggest star from that show.”

  196. 196
    AC
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    #307 was me. I’m no coward.

  197. 197
    MissKatrina
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Thanks for the info, Casedilla!

    I could barely watch the after-show. Suzie (or however the hell she spells it) is the worst host I have ever seen; maybe even worse than that hag on “Dancing With the Stars”. I don’t know who she’s screwing over at MTV to maintain this job, but she must be damn near magical in bed or something.

  198. 198
    Polster's Holster
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    I wonder how many other playas use 2 different cell phones like DB Spencer?

  199. 199
    Lime23
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 2:06 pm

    Such nastiness. We’re going to make MYL go all TWOP-style nazi-mod on us.

    Cheez — I was also distracted by the ruffle on Whitney’s .. shirt? dress, was it? Whatever. I was seriously questioning LA style, if that’s LA fashion forward. It sort of had a Lovie Howell (Gilligan’s Island) vibe to me.

    And her reference to Balenciaga? Yikes! Didn’t Tim Gunn compare Chloe’s final collection (love Chloe, hated her final collection) to Balenciaga? Which Santino aptly described as a “couch coming at you”? (Sorry PR detour; my other favorite show)

    AC — I seriously, seriously doubt that the anonymous post(s) were from L-Con. (An L-Con fan, perhaps.) I really don’t think he would do that; besides I’ve never seen him lash out at his critics (incl. me). (Well, possibly NYWord, but she’s a special case.)

    Dr. Pratt: You have a problem with the use of we? Maybe he (L-Con) uses “we” when he is, say, working with someone at TVGASM, to say, add screen caps. Like together. As in “we.” But, what do I know; I say “we” when I refer to my favorite sports team(s) all the time.

    L&K

  200. 200
    D-Bag
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    ugh, that live after show pissed me off to no end. that mtv whorelet made me miss the verbal stylings of la la.

    questions not asked/answered:

    1) did whitney get the job? if not, did emily?

    2) why wasn’t heidi there?

    3) will there be a season three? if so, when will it premiere.

    all the ladies looked great. audrina should practice iris placement. she looks ugly/zombie-like when they float up and we see all of that white.

  201. 201
    Lime23
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    Interesting point, vengeful Don — we haven’t even heard from L-Con since the teaser that he posted went nowhere, have we? (or have we?) I forgot about that. Usually we would have heard from him by now to say the recap would be posted soon… (at which point, of course, it wouldn’t). (:))

    I still don’t think the anonymous posts are him, though. IMO he’s so sure & confident in himself that he’s pretty much impervious to criticism — rolls right off his back — which, of course, can be both annoying and admirable at the same time.

    Is he AWOL? Are you there, L-Con? Is someone else writing this week’s recap?

  202. 202
    Lime23
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    D-Bag –

    Someone posted an article above that said that Heidi refused to go to the finale because MTV wouldn’t invite Spencer. And I think there was another “article” somewhere that said Heidi was supposed to call in live to the show for a 2 minute conversation, but didn’t. This article also suggested there would be a Hills 3, but, if true, why didn’t it get promo’ed during the season finale party (which was basically a 30 minute MTV commercial as it was). I don’t know. Apparently they’ve already filmed Heidi going to a plastic surgeon, and then leaving without doing so (dramatically, I’m sure, ripping off her hospital gown, pushing the nurse to the side & singing “Unpretty” at the top of her lungs as she runs half-naked through the waiting room (you’ll like that)…).

    What else — no news on Whitney (perhaps the decision hasn’t been made yet?) (or maybe they just didn’t want to make her feel bad)

  203. 203
    Lime23
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 3:54 pm

    Oops — should read before I post — to clarify: that should be “Heidi was filmed going to a plastic surgeon to get breast implants…”

  204. 204
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    Ha ha Lime,

    I’m always a big fan of ANY Gilligan’s Island reference! LOL!

    I agree, AC – anyone that doesn’t own their own bullshit is a cowardly asshole. Anonymous hostility should be ignored IMO, who cares what some faceless, nameless ass-clown thinks? Not me. ;-)

    L-Con didn’t trash AC, I think AC was probably joking. Whatever your opinion about L-Con might be, he doesn’t trash his readers. The worst he’s done was challenge NYWeird – which was completely appropriate IMO.

    The season’s over, can’t we just try to enjoy these last recaps.

  205. 205
    Cami's Left Boob
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    I think AC’s comments are funny. Everyone is too serious.

    And LCon HAS attacked others on comments section. I don’t have anything personal against him, but he has…but please don’t make me go reading through all the comments to find you an example.

  206. 206
    D-Bag
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 5:35 pm

    yeah, i knew all the info came out after the fact, i just hate when they don’t address it when they claim that they’re “answering all of your question.” seriously, where did they find these toolsheds with their snap on tool-like questions?

    and you would think that heidi would be contractually obligated to show up to the after the show. i wonder if she had to pay a penalty. oh, yeah. she’s living with spencer. that’s like five for fighting.

    re: lauren. i’ve warmed up to her a bit this season after she cut the dead weight, but she is way too passive aggressive for my tastes. i wonder if heidi was as bitchy to lauren with regards to jason b/c it really seems like payback. i found it strange that heidi would just sit there and take it.

  207. 207
    Lime
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    Ok, whatever — for anyone interested (& who hasn’t seen it yet), here is the other “article” I was mentioning:

    http://blogs.mediavillage.com/tv_maven/archives/2007/04/the_hills_final.html#more

  208. 208
    Prado
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Was hoping for last night’s recap, but no such luck. Soooo…

    Did anyone watch American Idol tonight?? That “body guard” guy that’s always following Lauren around was totally in the audience!!! They showed a close up of him and identified him as one of Chris’s friends!!! Anyone else catch that?? AM I CRAZY???

  209. 209
    simper1
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    Here’s another recap while we wait…

  210. 210
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    The recap should be up soon, it has been done for a while now. MYL has just been too busy to post it.

    As far as LB4 goes, I was saving the twist for the recap.

    Also, just so everyone knows – If I post, I post with my tag.

  211. 211
    Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
    Posted April 3, 2007 at 9:18 pm

    SO glad you’re still with us L-Con! I can’t wait for the recap – SO much to discuss! :-)

  212. 212
    lagunatuna
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    I just saw Rocky Donatelli from Laguna Beach Season 3 on the Extraordinary Women website. It’s a great pic of her. Guess she’s moving on. Good for her. Check it out.

  213. 213
    lagunatuna
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    the website for extraordinary women is http://www.extraordinarywomen.net

  214. 214
    Blah Blah
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    I must say, Laguna Consultant, that I was one of the naysayers for your first post-B-Side recap.

    But your recaps continue to get better and better. Although, I didn’t LOL, I did laugh inside. :)

    Great job! I wish you would take on Road Rules.

  215. 215
    Lilu
    Posted April 5, 2007 at 9:09 am

    LaCo, great poop-in-a-bag reference from billy madison. i laughed my ass off; i thought that smoke was equally as noxious. That wasn’t the only thing that brought about my laughter in this recap. i do think you’re getting better and better at this and doing a great job. :)

  216. 216
    Lilu
    Posted April 5, 2007 at 9:11 am

    oh, and i also watched the same monday night combo of 24/hills…until they started showing sneak peaks of the hills at 4:30pm…

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