-
TV Social
Login
Recent Comments
- Dashley: Hey guys – if you’re still on this comment thread sobbing at your incredible loss, you’re...
- Derek Hazelton: @Flipit, FYI, the new site works at my job, but then again, I’m a low level unimportant employee...
- snowshoecat: Yay!!!!!!!!!!! Lookin’ gooooood! Will CommentTrash appear here and on the gasm site? Enquiring minds...
- Dani: @rae– O.M.G.!!! Give it a rest! I won’t repeat what others have already...
- Flipit: You’re not crazy, Claire! Some people are able to just click their pic, but for others it doesn’t show...
- Clair: I tried it (I’m on a computer) and while it took me to my profile page, I didn’t see any avatar option.
- RTVfan: @itchy I’ve mentioned a couple times here and there that to add an avatar just click on your blank avatar....
- Madelyne27: @rae – holy exhausting shit, batman… stop! you’ve stumbled...
- Clair: Aww, Flippy, take your time. I was just curious. You’re doing an awesome job – thank you for creating a...
- itchy: I noticed that some people have avatars at the Trashtalk site though. Mr. Dangerous’ avatar is particularly...
Hot Shows
-
Fresh Tweets!
Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
11:20 am
358 Comments
Yet another new writer in the TVgasm arena. This one feels a little more home grown as you may have already been reading his thoughts for months and months. Stepping up to The Hills recaps we have none other than LagunaConsultant. Enjoy! – MYL
By: LagunaConsultant
This is a historic moment for us, and I ask you all to join me on this unprecedented journey from sidekick to master. I promise to be a kind master, open minded and honest. I promise to lead all faithful sidekicks into 2008 with my very best material, and I will fend off all opposing masters and sidekick stables with an iron fist. I promise to never pull a Heidi and abuse my newfound power, and I will never forget where I came from. I was once one of you, and maybe, just maybe, one of you may eventually rise through the ranks, and follow the path the great Roz laid forth 3 years ago as well. I followed that path, and I have now arrived in the kingdom of masters. It’s a glorious place.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get down to business. This week started in typical fashion with Lauren quickly going over the events of last
weeks show. I say quickly because I was kind of zoning out and don’t remember exactly what was said. Compared to the week before that, last week’s show was about as exciting as a root canal from Spencer Pratt Sr. DDS.
We are then treated to a typical sight:
sidekick/master shopping. Look who’s swooped in to fill the empty void left by Heidi, none other than Audrina! Might I add that Audrina filled this role perfectly in this scene. Nobody asks a better master stroking question now-a-days than Audrina.
We then head out to the park, where we were greeted by the sight of Wh Wh Wh Whitney hitting what appeared to be a monster homerun. Alas, she only made it to second, but for some reason that seems oddly appropriate. Anyway, the game soon ends, and the girls start reminiscing of New Years past. Whitney then reveals to us that she “kissed like 3 guys on New Years last year. It was the sluttiest moment of my life!” My god Whitney! I would have never guessed.
Luckily for Whitney, I have a feeling that either Audrina or Lauren are about to make her feel a little better and raise the bar a couple of notches, but
unfortunately we were only treated to Lauren telling us that “I’m just going to grab somebody that’s next to me like 2 years ago.” Good enough for me. Note to self, book plane ticket for L.A. next New Years.
Heading back into town, it’s now time for a little shopping with everybody’s favorite douchebag Spencer, and his wonderfully submissive girlfriend Heidi. After Heidi cracks on him briefly for dress shopping, Spencer announces his dislike for Lauren once again, and asks Heidi to move in with him. Heidi seems
reluctant at first because of Lauren, so Spencer decides to turn up the charm a little. “I don’t want to say that’s affecting our relationship, but it definitely doesn’t help.” Sounds to me like it’s going to affect their relationship. Looks like Team Spencer is about to make some cuts.
Here are my unedited notes from the next scene in the
Salon
* Hair salon.
* New Years grooming session.
* Lauren picks up random guy at club.
* Can’t wait to see this clown.
* She did all the work.
* SEXY.
* Audrina/LC kickboxing resolution.
* Audrina kickboxing Heidi’s ass soon.
* Very uncomfortable all around.
* Lauren complimenting Audrina in weird voice.
* Heidi leaves in midst of awkwardness for dinner.
I think that basically sums that up…
Later on we meet up with Speidi heading to their private new years banquet of spite. Unfortunately, Spencer decided to start us off on the wrong track by
chewing off his muzzle and giving Heidi a typical piggish compliment. “I don’t even want to go to the club, I just want to take you home right noooow.” Man, I don’t know what’s worse, having to hear his exaggerated verbiage, or the dental picture of Speidi reproducing rather than going to the club. That’s definitely a lose-lose situation in my book. Regrettably, Spencer then continued on. “Why can’t we?” Gee, I don’t know Spencer, but I have a funny feeling you’re going to answer your own question as usual, so I’ll give you the floor. “Ohhh that’s right, because you have another boyfriend named Lauren Conrad that we have to meet.” Listen pal, you should be more worried about actually getting let into the club after the news of your addition to the blacklist, let alone who’s going to be there.
Sensing that Heidi was starting to wean away from team Spencer a little, he then decided to indulge us all in the ways of passive aggressive brainwashing. It’s really easy. All you have to do is say what you really want or think in order to plant the seed, but then play it off like a joke. Spencer starts Heidi off in the gamut of emotions by telling her “I’m not demanding anything from you.” Umm ya, but the proverbial gun you just put to her head doesn’t help your case. He then adds, “there’s a big difference between friends, and people you are romantically and intimately involved with.” How long have these two been dating now? 4 months tops? This guy thinks he’s the second coming of Don Juan. Sadly, it seems to be working because Heidi’s resolve is starting to dwindle. “I’m trying to keep you happy, and I’m trying to keep her happy, and I know it shouldn’t be a balance like that, because it’s like, you’re the one I love.” Game, set, match douchebag.
“MARRY ME BITCH! Just kidding!”
We then head over to Lauren’s and Audrina’s apartment. Sorry, Spencer’s coincidental foreshadowing threw me off a bit when he suggested Lauren and Audrina should move in together, I mean Lauren’s apartment.
Holy shit! Daniel Boone decided to grace the girls with his presence. Oops, sorry, that’s just the always impeccably dressed Lo! Yay, Lo’s back! Finally, a sidekick with some values. As it turns out, that is not a dead animal on the top of Lo’s head after all. It is merely her new trendy hairdo. Could have fooled me…
“My new man purse is a taxidermist!”
Time to take a few photo’s and let the underage drinking begin! Lauren then leads the girls in a toast. “Cheers to spending New Years with the people
most important to us.” Good to know Lauren, to bad the people who are most important to you had to witness you making this toast while checking your voicemail, I’m sure they feel blessed. Also, who are these most important people? Jill and Natania? Where the hell did they come from? Aside from the fact I’ve never seen either of these girls before, what kind of a name is Natania? Typical Laguna Beach name I guess. Take two random words and throw them together. Presto! A new exotic name is born! If I lived in Laguna my name would probably be Lasultant. It would be great, I could be boys with Talan and Dieter.
Lauren then moves on to more pressing issues. “I have had a New Years kiss the last 4 years, but I’ve only had, like, one good one.” Something tells me it wasn’t last year…
“Jail sucks. I feel like the girl in the Tijuana donkey show.”
After we get a quick tutorial from MTV on how to spell glamorous, we then see the ladies entering the club sans Heidi. Time for our first glimpse of Lauren’s
date Derek. Looks like Lauren did pretty well for herself; this guy was definitely head of the class in the generic metro-sexual pool. Not only is he attractive in an “every guy from L.A.” sort of way, but he’s also a bragger! He starts shamelessly
self-promoting himself in regards to his speedboat and stature, when Lauren chimed in with a beautifully patronizing comment. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even
enjoy it properly because I couldn’t stop thinking about how this guy bared a striking resemblance to our old friend Polster. Well pre-steroids Polster at least…
“Trey threw me out of AYA, so I pummeled his ass”
We then cut to Lauren and Lo holding a bunch of orange balloons and taking a picture. “Oh my god, these are intense” Lauren revealed. Intense indeed. Clear the way, this girl needs some air! Lauren then regroups and tries to reveal her New Year’s wish to Lo. Unfortunately, all I could hear was her saying that it
was extremely embarrassing a couple of times. Could it be that she wished for somebody to pop those retched orange balloons of concentrated intensity? That must have been it, although that’s nothing to be embarrassed about, those things will stare right through your soul.
Speidi then makes it’s grand entrance at approximately 11:45. They’ve been there for no more than three seconds, and Heidi has already started with the
irritating 3 year old voice. I still haven’t quite been able to put my finger on who she sounds like, but I’ll keep you posted. It almost sounds like the noise a cat would make if you stepped on its tail.
All of a sudden we cut to Lauren screaming about cocker spaniels. Can somebody please get this girl a friggin cocker spaniel??? This must be the LC
equivalent of smithereen-ducks. This also doubled as my favorite moment of the entire episode, just because of the sheer randomness of blurting out cocker
spaniel.
Past and present sidekicks then unite as Lo and Heidi start making small talk. Heidi then reverts to her usual approval seeking ways and asks Lo whether or not she thought her boyfriend was cute. Lo responded “Umm ya if you think children’s underwear models from Macy’s are cute.” Well said Lo. Actually, she may have cordially agreed Spencer was cute, but that’s the way it went down in my head.
Guess what??? It’s almost midnight, time to pass out the sparklers! WTF? Do they not have fire codes in L.A. or something? If I ever tried to pull this stunt
in a bar in Boston, not only would I be tackled immediately, but I would probably be serving jail time right now.
“Screw Area! Let’s burn this bitch to the ground.”
3-2-1 Happy New Year!!!!! Lauren immediately grabs her man of the night for a dreamy New Year’s kiss. Then Audrina pulls Lauren in for their very own dreamy New Year’s kiss! YES! I think I need some air now… All I see is orange balloons… Everywhere.
“Happy New Year… TO ME!
The group then heads out together from what seems like a very amiable night. Spencer then starts needling Derek, telling him he better handle his business later. HE BETTER NOT HAVE HANDLED HIS FUCKING BUSINESS. Excuse me, my turrets must be acting up.
Everything is not as tranquil as we first thought though, apparently the group neglected to pay the king and queen of douche their proper respect. Spencer then seizes this opportunity to continue his passive aggressive brainwashing of Heidi. In his warped mind, since Lauren did not go overboard in her goodbyes with them, it was obviously a sign of disrespect. Heidi’s teetering on the brink of completely broken at this point.
Flash-forward to what MTV would like us to believe is the next day. Last night was New Years, so we all know what that means: excessive debriefing for all parties involved. New Years is such a big event that they even made Lauren debrief twice! First off, we head over to Bolthouse where we find Ho-di and Elo-di chatting away. Apparently the brainwashing has worked after the club, because Heidi is now not too fond of Audrina’s and Lauren’s friendship. She then throws Elodie a bone and let’s her in on the fact that Spencer asked her to move in with him. She goes on to tell Elodie that Spencer tells her that “everyday I love you more,” plus “I never thought I’d feel this way about someone,” and the always fun “I never knew what love was until now.” Lie, lie, lie. Does this crap really work on girls in real life? Instead of batting .500 by telling the truth, who knew I could lie straight through my teeth and be batting .1000
Time for Lauren to be debriefed by Whitney. This debriefing is sponsored by Kelly’s coffeehouse. Nothing really interesting happened here, although Whitney does drop this winner. “We’re all trying to find out, like, who our true friends are and stuff, and it sucks, but.” Amen sister.
Changing gears we head out for another astonishing dinner of submissive behavior by Heidi. Spencer leads out with this doozy “I think it’s really rude that you choose Lauren over me.” Heidi rebuffs him though with “I think it’s rude that you make me choose.” Go Heidi! Well, that was short lived. Spencer quickly changes gears and brings up the supposed catastrophe outside of the club after New Years, and just like that, Heidi’s resolve is finally broken for good. “How are you going to get a house?” DUNZO.
Final debriefing time for Lauren, this time though, there’s a catch. Her and Lo head out for Sushi like old times, and start the New Year’s discussions
shortly after Lo figures out sniffing ginger in not pleasurable. The conversation soon turns to more imperative matters, like Jenn almost going to Area on New Years. I mean, she bought a ticket and everything, how dare her! Lauren then takes a page out of my book and starts making up fake dialog. “She’s probably like ahhhh, I have no more friendships to destroy.” Nicely said Lauren. Although, I’d like it if you stop with that stuff, the last thing I need is you messing with my job security. Lo then drops the bomb of the night “Umm who is moving into your apartment when Heidi moves in with Spencer?” Uh oh, looks like somebody wasn’t properly debriefed by Heidi. Lauren then tries to talk us out of believing it, but not very convincingly. “I don’t think she’d move in with Spencer, she’s crazy in love, but she’s not that crazy.” Well, I beg to differ there. Heidi is definitely a few bricks short of a full load at the present time. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised about anything I heard she did with Spencer’s influence. Lauren seems extremely troubled by this news.
“Don’t worry Lauren. Cocker Spaniel!”
“Cocker Spaniel Lo… Cocker Spaniel”
And with that, the show came to a close. Next week looks treeeemendous by the way. I was half expecting to see Lo visiting 8-Bahl in the clink after all the sidekick deception that’s been going, but it looks like Jenn Jenner is going to get a chance to say her “peace” after all. Lauren appears to get fired up again too. I can’t wait. Hopefully she’s preparing a fleet of F-bombs this time.
What did you guys think of the recap? If you loved it, let me know. If you hated it, let me know too. Is Heidi going to move in with Spencer? Who will assume number one sidekick, Audrina or Whitney? So many questions… I’ll see you guys on the boards.
TV Social
-
358 Comments
Yeay LagunaConsultant! Thanks for stepping up!! Phew
For a 1st time recap, not too bad, not too bad. Maybe I miss B-Side too much (yes I do, so much it hurts)!
I am really glad for Heidi and all of the other future girlfriend’s of Spencer, that the Hills is filmed. I don’t think right now she is ready to watch it and really see how she is being manipulated. It is really sickening. But maybe one of these days you’ll catch a repeat (only if you are extremely lucky. You know how MTV *NEVER* repeats their episodes, right?)and see just what a manipulating,lying douche Spenser really is.
Lauren + Audrina bff!!!
Great recap — loved the root canal by Spencer Pratt Sr, DDS!!
I think Lo’s appearance was a good addition to the show, but I hate to say that the look of her walking away with Lauren at the end of the episode was painful… she’s really chubby, and it’s not that I’m hating on her for gaining weight, she just looks too disproportionately thick in her legs to be wearing a short skirt. It reminds me of that “most unflattering shot” of her on LB walking down the stairs in that pink shirt.
Also I loved how after talking about how great her friends are and how much fun she had on NYE, Lauren added to Whitney, “Oh, I guess it could have been better if you were there… Zing! I think Whitney needs her own show, instead of being “tired of being someone’s intern” she’s probably “tired of being planted at convenient times to ask Lauren questions about her life”)
Since you asked, Laguana Consultant, NO, Spencer’s crap does NOT work on girls in real life. At least not on girls with a brain. He is the poster boy for the controlling, abusive boyfriend. You can read more of my thoughts here .
PS – great recap!
I agree KermitGirl! Whitney does need her own show – I thought Whit might mention where she was for new years…but then that whole convo turned awkward…Makes me wonder what Whit is really like..because I totally wasn’t expecting her to be softball player!
loved elodie’s eyeroll during heidi’s debriefing. oh my sweet elodie with the keebler elf ears, the camera’s always recording, bitch.
just kidding sweetie. you’re still my future ex-girlfriend.
Congrats, Laguna!!! You pulled one over on us. I could feel a lot of readers’ pain when you said you wouldn’t be recapping The Hills. I guess it’s more exciting if you don’t let the Ashes out of the bag though.
Well done on the first recap. Since in my heart B-Side and J Unit will forever be my Major Awesome and Sergeant Extreme, you could quickly become something like Colonel Badass. Congrats again.
Derek’s face as the two girls kissed is priceless. I’m sure its much like your face was, Consultant!
I got some chuckles out of this recap; works for me!One of my favs came at the end..last screen shots of LC and LO “Don’t worry Lauren. Cocker Spaniel!” I can hear the entire fake convo in my head. I love it. Good faces made as well. I’m thinking of making that my go to line.
I LOVED how Elodie massively rolled her eyes upon hearing Spencer’s “love” comments to Heidi. hahhahaha For a brief moment I was excited, cause it seemed Heidi was at least telling His Doucheness that he’s not being nice, etc–at the last dinner–but she didn’t drive the point home and he fo sho didn’t get it.
Consultant, if I were you, I’d tell the truth and stay w/ the .500. Its solid and I’m thinking ultimately more rewarding.
YAY LO!!!! Doesn’t seem as tho she’s changed much, and I’m very very happy about that. Like a breath of fresh, real air; as opposed to fake, vapid, fame-whore air. It tends to make you gag. I noticed she gained some weight as well, but she was always so teeny on LB, now she looks like a woman, which she is, so it works out. Maybe she can be an actual role model for youngins instead of stick insects that puke up saltines.
Awesome first recap, Laguna Consultant. – I laughed out loud several times – VERY IMPRESSIVE!
Keep em coming!
oh and props on the speediness as well Consultant. That makes me a happy tiger.
Hooray for the return of LO!! A proper sidekick for Lauren if there ever was one. She even knows to properly snicker and eye-roll upon seeieng Spencer for the first time! Welcome back, LO! I loved her little “Awwwwwkwaaaaarrrrrrd!!” bit at the end of sushi with the Speidi-living-stiuation reveal. Damn Jen Jenner for trying to destroy such a wonderful friendship between the Laurens!!!
Oh, and wonderful job for Elodie and her eye-rolling of Spencer, too. It was too funny, and provided the proper reaction that the rest of America was having towards Heidi’s gush-fest over Spencer.
Awesome recap LagunaConsultant! Can’t wait to see more of your recaps in the future.
LagunaConsultant! <3.
Very impressive LagunaConsultant or should I say Lasultant…I also laughed out loud several times.
I’m not sure who loves Lauren more, me or you, but I also became enraged 1)when Lauren & that pubic haired freak starting kissing at midnight & 2)when Spencey referred to “taking care of business tonight”…I almost fired my cocktail through my tv.
And yes, Lo looked like she gained 50lbs or so, she used to be rail thin and cute, but not so much anymore.
And where the hell was Brody on new year’s? His supposed love interest was there and so was Lauren! Zing!
I know it’s probably wicked scary to fill the shoes of B-Side, but your recap had me laughing out loud many times. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff!
Okay i was a bit pissy about B-Side leaving, I was ready to write TVgasm off for good. You have changed my mind. Great Recap and what is this…. “If I ever tried to pull this stunt
in a bar in Boston, not only would I be tackled immediately, but I would probably be serving jail time right now.”
Besides that statement being totally true… could you be from Boston? A Local?
please do anything you have to do to return Bside to this recap! the hills is useless without a quality writer recapping it, and this kind of shmuck so-called “recap” lets so much go to waste. TVGASM at least hire someone to do this who knows grammar! a writer who can’t even take care of the basics can never do what the great B-side did- justice to the hills!
uck, this site is dead for me now, and i only just discovered it in the last month. i hope my smart-ass comments didn’t show up B-side so badly that he got canned for failing to be as brilliant as me…that and mrs conrad’s whining about her own stupidity could’ve put the fork in our B-side that has now stuck us with this lame drek.
please go recap the nightly news with katie couric, laguna consultant. i’m sure you’d make hilarious observations about how she’s on at 6:30 p.m. i am terrified of what’s to come with real world, and the bad girls club is another goldmine that tvgasm is spoiling…
I just posted and got an error message..grr…but…well done Laguna Consultant, and I was not expecting a recap of this episode so thanks for the pleasant surprise.
As for the episode:
I absolutely hate that Spencer addresses Heidi by name in sentences where he shouldn’t, like when he’s addressing her directly…”What does Heidi think”, or “Heidi looks so pretty tonight”…just one of the many Spencerisms that make me want to slam my head into a brick wall.
Second, was anyone else disappointed Spencer/Heidi’s big fabulous new years dinner didn’t take place at Don Antonios?
Finally, Laguna Consultant, my thoughts exactly on the sparklers. Allowing people who have been drinking so be in such close proximity to fire in an enclosed space that is filled to capacity is just flat out irresponsible. Havent these people heard of the Station Night Club in RI???
Team LagunaConsultant!! So glad it’s someone we know and love. Thanks for the speediness.
Did Spencer say a single thing, the whole episode, that didn’t bash LC/Heidi’s “friendship”? Even something neutral, about … say, anything? Maybe just dress-shopping. Think I’ll have to go re-watch but he was vile.
How did I miss “Cocker spaniel”??
sunshine858619, love the SD reppin’.
nice recap lagunaconsultant – like todd on top design, I think it might take you a few weeks to get up to snuff, but nice work my friend, off to a great start.
ok, I’m glad I’m not the only one that thought “daaaamn, Lo got chunkers!”
Good Work…
“Excuse me, my turrets must be acting up.”
FYI: turrets = tourettes
LagunaConsultant
I hate your referencas to sidekicks and sports. The first paragraph of your recap was boring and unreadable.
On the other hand it is not fair to compare you to the master known as B Side. He will never be replaced.
Heidi is stupid, vapid and a moron. She deserves Spencer.I hate her voice that is whiny and annoying. I totally agreed with last weeks comments taht Spencer tries to sound like McConaughey. So false. And why o why can’t these peolpe talk without leaving their mouths open at the end of every sentence?
Heidi annoys me to no end when she makes those sad puppy dog eyes ehen she is talking, and she moves her mouth like she is chewing on something.. I hate them
LagunaConsultant, I thought I couldn’t possibly love you more after I saw the picture of you with the blue jumpsuit, but you just TOPPED IT with the reference to AYA. I laughed soo loud at that…
I’m so glad you took over!
Said to self “I’ll probably not check out the Hill’s recap since B-Side is gone”. However curiosity killed the cat…Laguna Consultant brought me back!
Good job LC…whoa get it LC? Laguna Consultant? Lauren Conrad?! I crack myself up! Anyhoo…what the hell? That Spencer is killing me…all those cracks he was making about Lauren being a crappy friend to Heidi?! Wasn’t it last week that Heidi dumped Lauren to go to the movies with Spencer?! God I hate that guy..hate the teeth..hate the voice..just loath him…I wish he would be gone for the rest of the season but it doesn’t look like it…arrgghh!! Oh and Lo is as dingy as ever…:)
hey claudia tj (#22), if you don’t like LagunaConsultant or the show, then wtf are you doing here?
get lost loser!
that was so sidekick of me!
Nice recap, Lasultant. You have big shoes to fill but you’re certainly capable!
Sunshine (#11) I was also giddy for the return of Lo. I think I audibly squealed when she came on screen! She did gain a little weight but I think she’s still way cuter than Tantastic Jenn Jenner. That BITCH.
As for Spencer…ugh. If I ever saw that douche I’d tell him, “I’m going to punch Spencer in his frying pan face now.” Does that count as speaking in the third person? Or second? NYWord you’re a grammar nazi, set the record straight.
msu11y28, good call on Spencer’s bizarre way of speaking about Heidi rather than to her. He’s also fond of calling her princess. My list of grievances grows.
LagunaConsultant, I admire your commitment. And if you really want to get locked up in Boston, just say something positive about Jeter.
LagunaConsultant – good recap, but you missed one laugh-out-loud funny part. When Heidi asks Lo, “isn’t my boyfriend cute?” the camera cuts to Spencer, lingering there just long enough for us to get uncomfortable. We watch him sitting there, alone, with his permasmile-lines and pumpkin shaped noggin and shiny forehead and strangely huge tie-knot, and all come to the same conclusion. I laughed heartily. Whoever made that edit has a great sense of humor.
While your recap was better than nothing… BRING BACK B-SIDE. I’m sorry, no one can do The Hills justice qutie like B-Side can.
and apparently I can’t spell…
love that speidi’s dinner was at dolce. yet another mike boogie/fez douchefarm.
so far they’ve been to:
geisha house
bella
les deux
dolce
ech.
i also like how the waiter at i cugino’s made a point of saying heidi’s drink was a “virgin” (unlike the bitch drinking it). how much you want to bet spencer bought a shot of vodka and poured it in.
seriously. lauren was fucked up on new years. why hasn’t area lost it’s liquor license yet? there’s video-fucking-evidence.
can’t wait for the return of jenn jenner.
Lasultant – who has a name like Natania? I do! Its my Kaballah name. It means gift from God!
Also I laughed so hard when you captioned the sparkler pic “Screw Area! Let’s burn this bitch to the ground.” I miss B-side but that was awesome!
Thanks for taking over. I was so sad this morning when I thought there would be no recap. Thanks for brightening my day!
Laguna Consultant- I think you did an excellent job! Keep up the good work.
Dear NYWord,
Quiet, please.
All my love,
FastBetty
P.S. Not too shabby, LagunaC.
Great recap. “8-Bahl” ROFL’d.
Aww… The first Hills recap without B-Side. No offense LagunaConsultant, you did a great job, but it still smarts.
Spencer has got to be the biggest asshole I’ve ever seen. Watching him manipulate Heidi the way he did this episode literally made me ill. At least now it makes a little more sense why she’s so obsessed with him. Mind tricks, people, mind tricks.
NOO, Lasultant, that’s not the way to a girl’s heart. But if you didn’t already know you can get ahead by lying through your teeth… well, now you know.
What happened to the recap from last week’s epi? I was DYING for some snarkicity when the guy asked Lauren “Where are you from?” Um…seriously? Do you not notice the four cameras in this restaurant?
The best part of this last epi was Spencer [cough] douchebag [cough] saying he’d bought plenty of dresses for his sisters…really? I’m gonna need some verification on this one.
Writing in B-Side’s wake is a hard task. I think you did the best you could. Part of me missing B-Side has to do with the fact that he was in Los Angeles, as am I. He knew that Don Antonio’s wasn’t in the middle of nowhere and is located in the mattress district on Pico. He knew that LC didn’t actually live in THE HILLS. And, it was also clear that B-Side didn’t want to sleep with Lauren…or didn’t state it, and I appreciated that.
It just seems that Laguna Consultant, LC if you may, not to be confused with Lauren Conrad, the real LC, is munching a bit off of B-Side. Understandably, it’s hard to find your own voice when the person before you spoke so eloquently about sidekicks, masters and what team Spencer happened to be on that day. I guess what I’m trying to say is, while Laguna Consultant did do his best, it was like reading one of B-Side’s worst.
I hope this doesn’t post twice. My DSL is banged up. Lo looked phenominal! Even if she found a few, still very hot and extremely witty. Glad to see her and Lauren are back together thick as thieves. You kind of hoped Lauren would figure out who her real friends are after somne people shit on her over the past year.
MORE LO and MORE ASHES
I personally enjoyed this recap! Funny and detailed. Good job
P.S. What is this pic of you in a blue jumpsuit? Can we pass this along?
I feel more like your name would be Gunasul.
By the way, good first try. I know that must have been hard to fill B-Side’s extremely large shoes.
However, you asked for our opinions. So, here’s my list:
1. I don’t like lists. They’re not that funny.
2. I like funny.
3. Good screencaps. I mean, really good. Yay for you!
4. I naturally don’t like that your boy, but if you’re funny–then, you’re funny. Which I think in the past you had proven. (But, please don’t make me a part of your virtual sexy time with LC)
5. Think about what C-dawg said…maybe you should consider moving to L.A…if you’re serious about hard hitting journalism when it comes to the Hills.
I must confess- i miss B-side!!!!! please B-side come back and recap once in a while.
-laguna consultant, not bad. if anyone should replace b-side its you b/c you were ‘one of us’ lol so u get to say all the old b-side jokes and we’ll know what your talking about.
oh forgot to mention. LO so looked drug. luv her but she looked so drugged when she was giving that toast before they went to the club
this was the episode of DARK roots- Wh Wh Wh Whitney should have hit up the salon w/ Heidi & Lauren!
A cautionary tale friends:
I go to this bar, and we had the best bartender in the world. Then one day he decided to move on…since that day we have compared every other bartender to him and have had approx 12 in two years. Then one day we realized, he is not coming back. While no one will ever be him, I would rather have one person that I like, instead of 15 different people b/c of complaints. Its like Crosby, Stills and Nash said, “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one your with.”
PS…I enjoyed the recap!
I love Lo! Does anyone know where she is going to school? Because…..my guess is that she’s been studying and carb loading….dorm life and all. Just a few lbs.. My guess is that unlike the other s who have their own Luxury apartments, and drive their Benz to Whole Foods, Lo is in real world school, not fantasy world school, that she’s smart and working hard. Anyone know if I am right?
I agree with #17. You missed all the key points of the episode.
Free B-side!
Lo goes to UCSB where she’s probably ordering Silver Greens, Freebirds and Sams To Go at a rapid rate. Oh, what am I saying, she wasn’t that big. Leave the girl alone. She’s not as big as Spencer’s teeth, or ego.
Ever notice how he doesn’t understand the skill that is speaking? Before he was stating that he wanted to be within five feet of Lauren, this time, he states that he COULD care less.
I’m going to let Mensa know they have a new applicant.
I thought Lo is goint to UCSB…?
Really? Where did you hear that?
Laguna Consultant — the recap was a good start. But next time I would concentrate less on reporting exactly what happened in chronological order (we have all seen the show), and focus on more great snarky comments. You missed some big moments:
1. Elodies great eye roll.
2. All those girls who had acres of black roots (Elodie, Whitney)
3. The fact that Spencer refers to Lauren’s friends as “Baggage” and,
4. as noted earlier, the shot of Spencer in all his chiclet tooted sweaty smarminess as Lo politely agress that he’s cute…..that was the best editing all season.
LOVED Elodie’s eyeroll. I thought it was just my imagination that Lo looked a bit, er, stocky. What’s with her odd voice inflections anyway?
How big of a pair would one have to own in order to even try to walk in B-side’s footsteps? I would like to thank Gunasul for taking the baton and recapping The Hills. I mean, it’s not like we can actually talk about this stuff with our real friends. There’s been some good constructive criticism, in addition to “You Sir, are no B-side!” remarks. But I’m just glad you are here Mr. Consultant.
yaay, cath619, glad SD is representin’
)
lagunaC: i have to agree, for constructive criticism, no lists please. they arent really amusing, and if you feel that a scene isnt important enough to devote a sentence to it, just skip it all together. maybe after a couple of recaps you will find your voice outside from under b-side’s HUGE shadow.
i think LO transferred from UCSB to UCLA. i dont think the poofy hair flattered any weight she might have gained, then again all the outfits she wore were just ill-fitted and baggy.
does this mean that mrs. conrad won’t post anymore now that b-side is gone? perhaps you should move to LA, lagunaC!! i loved the LA inside-facts provided by b-side!! lol.
I don’t think Lo is that big. Her arms looked normal and her face didn’t look fat. I think it was just a combination of too much toasting, too much hair, and the unfortunate choice of maternity wear. Who looks svelte in a mu-mu?
during the whole show I was thinkin Lo looks pregnant…I don’t know …seemed like she was tryna wear a dress that was big around the stomach… and she looked really tired…and even when they were in the club it looked like Heidi touched her stomach when they were standing by each other..
I think Lo is just leading a normal life and she looks great. (Remember the camera adds 15lbs!) She just normal, and unlike Lauren and Heidi she is not a
PROFESSIONAL REALITY TV STAR wh interns at Vogue. Lauren has gotten tiny. She looks adorable in that shot where she and Lo walk away from Cafe Sushi. But…..if I did not know it was her she could be easily be mistaken for a chic 12 year old. So Lauren’s a size O and Lo is a size 4. By the way, my 12 year old neice loves Lo the best. I am so proud she sees beyond the club girls of Area!
i think laguna consultant is most likely someone who lives in laguna and knows the people in the show (e.g., goes to the same high school), but was too ugly to be filmed for the show, and this whole obsessive commenting on tvgasm has been this person’s consolation prize. mrs conrad mustve gotten b-side fired and replaced with this clown so that the recaps will be as non-offensive as possible to her (or whoever she’s protecting).
personally i don’t think lauren is a horrible person, or even dumb or anything. i think she’s just a victim of what lindsey lohan, britney spears, etc. are going through (if you lived in NY and red the papers today they said specifically that girls like this had their childhoods stolen from them by their mothers.)
granted, mrs. conrad was only on camera for a little bit during laguna last season, but i thought it was really messed up how she seemed to be encouraging her other daughter (who unfortunately lost out on the alpha gene pool) to make tessa’s life unbearable. poor lauren, and poor tessa. it must suck when your mom is like kristen cavalleri.
so i think it’s really bizarre that b-side was replaced by this brown-nosing non-writer. does tvgasm really have to kowtow to the likes of mrs concrad, when lauren conrad actually comes off better recapped by someone who takes her as seriously as she takes herself? (which is to say, lauren seems to take herself the least seriously of anyone on the hills/laguna)
lc, do yourself a favor, become friends with your local library and get your act together. you could be an nyu girl, if/when you grow up.
Thank you for attempting to ease our pain with the loss of B-Side. With that said, you did a fantastic job for a first time recapper. The part where you mentioned the sparklers being lit at the club was hyterical. When you mentioned that it was time for the underage drinking to begin during the scene where the girls were gathered at Lauren & Audrina’s house– ahem, Lauren & HO-di’s house– I almost fell out of my chair. With all the drinking and lying and bs-ing, I tend to forget that the majority of these kids are UNDERAGE.
To quote the great Randy Jackson, “You started off a little pitchy dude, but you worked it out in the end”
I really enjoyed your recap and look forward to many more…
the camera adds 15 pounds? how many cameras were aimed at lo?
ba-dum-bump.
i kid, lo. love ya. call me!
slow start, laguna consultant, but you really hit your stride about midway through.
when in doubt: captioned photos. it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Sorry NY word, but I don’t really agree.
Lauren comes from a good family (remember how her father banned Jason from the house for mistreating her?) Heidi and Spencer are products of the Lohan/Spears syndrome.
When you watch Lauren and Lo giggle about ginger and brain burn, you see that Lauren has managed to stay normal. Even is she is momentarily intrigued by the likes of Brody and Heidi
First off, kudos to LagunaConsultant! I’m sure there was a lot of pressure just getting this first (of many?) installment under your belt after the surprising departure of B-Side. You are to be commended for taking the reins and running with it, LagunaConsultant!
I was very happy to see the Lo & Lauren combo again! Lo definitely has a more mature look. But I think part of the reason it seems so noticeable – with the exception of a few brief scenes on Season 2 of Laguna Beach, we haven’t really seen much of her since her giggly high-school days in Season 1 of Laguna Beach. So there has been a period of time in which she has changed a bit and we weren’t there to see those changes gradually.
Contrast that with Lauren who we saw pretty regularly on LB Season 2 and of course the two seasons of The Hills. So we’ve seen her often enough to where any physical changes did not seem so extreme as they did with Lo.
It is also my understanding that Lo transferred from UCSB to UCLA. So she’s in Lauren’s neighborhood now. Yeah!!!!
I don’t know what to say about Spencer that hasn’t already been said. He knows that he can easily influence Heidi and he takes full advantage of it. Yes, I agree with those people who said that the way he talks to her is very annoying. “Heidi loves Spencer,” “Heidi shouldn’t listen to Lauren,” Heidi wants to move in with me,” etc. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the point.
In addition to his odd way of interacting with Heidi, he talks to her in such a brainwashing kind of way. “Heidi is getting left by all her friends.” “Heidi has mean friends who just abandon her on New Years Eve.” “Heidi should teach Lauren a lesson by moving in with me.” (More paraphrasing, but same idea.)
The sad thing is – Heidi is just buying Spencer’s influential remarks, hook, line and sinker. He’s got her where he wants her and he knows it.
Spencer is about as smarmy as they get. He reminds me of a combination of SpongeBob Square Pants and Eddie Haskell. How can Heidi be so oblivious? I guess she sees what she wants to see.
Good recap LagunaConsultant. With all the talk that Spencer does about Lauren, did anyone notice that he did offer her a sparkler?
Also am I the only one that noticed the big rock on Lo’s finger?
I can’t wait for nextweeks episode. Jen Jenner is back, Lauren’s 21st..I think it will be fun because we see Spencer and Brody there…
Good recap LagunaConsultant. With all the talk that Spencer does about Lauren, did anyone notice that he did offer her a sparkler?
Also am I the only one that noticed the big rock on Lo’s finger?
I can’t wait for nextweeks episode. Jen Jenner is back, Lauren’s 21st..I think it will be fun because we see Spencer and Brody there…
Whither the mention of the rather amazing Elodie eye-roll? Whither?
All in all a good re-cap LagunaCon. I loved the bit about the sparklers in the club. I had that same “quoi?” reaction when I watched the ep, except replace Boston with San Diego.
“TVGASM at least hire someone to do this who knows grammar!”
NYWord, I have three words for you: Pot. Kettle. Black.
Just love that Lo!
I thought the recap was fabulous! Thanks so much for taking over and continuing with B-Side’s jokes.
NYWord is WAY off (and I think this seems to be getting consistant).
I loved the comments with the pictures.
It feels like at this point everytime Spencer speaks it’s full of passive aggressive manipulation. EVERYTIME!! Can heidi figure it out for one scene!!!
loader4life – great metaphor
Lo did look hefty, but I was debating whether it was because she’s next to non-carb eating Lauren
CMC, I agree that Lo is sporting a more ‘mature look.’ But I must inquire, what’s up with the Miss America ‘do? Love her–and while I realize that 60s styles are making an aggressive comeback, sister needs an alternative to the bouffant she was rocking on this week’s episode…
Lasultant- I loved the recap. Though this is only my second time ‘on the boards,’ I’m a longtime fan/reader of B-side. Dare I say…I think you have serious master potential.
PS: D-Bag, you’re quite entertaining.
maybe i miss B-Side, but I’m sorry to say that this recap sucked. you missed a lot of the nuances that make this show so addictive like elodie’s obvious eyeroll when heidi said that spencer loved her. HELLO! if you don’t redeem yourself by next week i’ll probably stop reading
Whoo Laguna Consultant!!!
Some thoughts about ur recap:
I like a lot of the observations you make, but there is somewhat of an issue with grammar and style. By style I mean repeating the same word in a paragraph too many times.
Also, just as a writing tip, try not to use “then” so much, as in “then this happened” and “we then saw…” It should be used sparingly, after a few other observations, for example:
-The kid jumped into the sandbox
-Another kid joined him
-They attacked each other
-They then made up and hugged
Just a few writing tips! I think your style is fine and again, I like your humor.
Anyways, congrats on being chosen to succeed B-Side! It is not an easy job, but I’ve always enjoyed ur observations about Laguna, The Hills, Real World, etc.
There’s a lot of grammar/writing/essay type people out there (like me), but the harder part is being creative and making meaningful (and humorous) observations. You have that part down decently though, and I think you’ll hit your stride with time!
-Shia0bundan
Thoughts on the episode:
Leeetdown! I love that Lo is back, but there wasn’t really as much drama as the previews showed. I think 98% of the “drama” in this episode was the result of editing.
Spencer is ever the douchebag.
Has anyone else noticed how he doesn’t blink?
Lasultant – so very thrilled that a – there was a Hills recap and b – you wrote it! Very sneaky telling us it wouldn’t work out. I cried with joy and then laughed with the hilarity of your recap. Missing you and CheeZ in the comment section though.
Did anyone else think Heidi was pulling away from Spencer when he tried to hold her during dress shopping and on NYE outside the club? It was like she was afraid he might bite her with his pearly chompers. Hopefully she will soon realize losing friends for such a ginormous asshat is not worth it.
Can’t wait to see the Jenn Bunney Jenner smackdown next week.
Thank you everyone for all the great compliments so far. It’s definitely a little strange being on the other side of the fence. And yes, the other side of the fence is in Boston, Massachusetts.
Also, the tourettes error was heinous. I can thank Microsoft Word for that one. Last night when I was finishing the recap at 3am, I hit the spell-check, and I must have just clicked the “change” button while I was on auto pilot because there aren’t any random machine guns firing around my house.
I’ll still be active on the boards, but most of my thoughts are obviously going to be in the recaps. There was one thing I wanted to mention though. I don’t know about you, but every time I see the picture of Lo in the recap, my first reaction is that it looks like a vintage, revolutionary war photo of Martha Washington. Maybe she bought her hairpiece from the Smithsonian gift shop.
Thanks for the recap Laguna Con… It’s easy to sit here on the other side of the computer and judge, but props to you for taking on the enomous task of recapping The Hills, you obviously had big shoes to fill, and I appreciate someone stepping up to the task.
That said, just a few critiques-
1. Definitely check & re-check for spelling & grammatical errors before posting. Nobody’s perfect, but the mistakes were a little distracting.
2. We love B-Side’s inside jokes about Wh-wh-wh-whitney, etc, and it’s great to still hear them, but definitely feel free to branch out and create your own- we might pick up something new we hadn’t noticed.. like your line about Spencer’s dentist dad… hilarious, and I can’t believe B-Side never thought of that one!
Overall though, pretty good for the first non-B-Side recap we’ve had to read. You’ll grow on us!
Also, did anyone notice when Spencer & Heidi went to their NYE dinner, Spencer told the hostess that the reservation was in the name of “Spencer”, not “Pratt”… is that just an LA thing, or does he really think he’s on the level of Madonna/Cher/etc?? It’s not like Pratt is so common that there would be another Pratt party there that night. Whatevs.
LagunaConsultant – great job – I was so happy to see the recap, many thanks, now I can watch the ep. ( I find it works better that way!)
Thank you for pointing out that one doesn’t say her “peace,” but says her “piece.”
And, nice job.
Team LaSultant!
Laguna Consultant! I am thrilled to see you recapping! I read the recap earlier, but wanted to see how the boards went before commenting – plus I actually had to work late today! I know – it’s crazy!!!
First and foremost, congratulations and GREAT job! I thoroughly enjoyed the recap, and laughed out loud more than once!
Secondly, I appreciate the fact that your finding your own style, and not just trying to copy B-Side. The whole point of TVgasm is to offer ORIGINAL and entertaining insights on otherwise ridiculous television shows. Color me a fan/sidekick – I’m there!
Last, but not least: NYWord is a pretentious, yet somehow still stupid, ass-munch. Oh, and please excuse my French ass-munch – I know how partial you are to the Romance languages.
Did anyone notice that Lauren’s date was also a Yeti? That guy had to be like 6’10″ – Jesus! When they were kissing, I actually thought he might accidentally swallow her whole.
Spencer is of course a monster-douchebag. His habit of referring to Heidi in the third-person is a classic psychological tool used to de-personalize other people. He has literally turned her into an object, and manipulates her non-stop. She is like Barbie now, but with less free will. I’ll bet he’s hung just like Ken too – that’s 0″ for the he-men on here. I find it very interesting that he finds Lauren so threatening. And he definitely does.
His obvious discomfort about the whole evening, and at the club revealed what an insecure, unstable p*ssy he really is. The expressions on Heidi’s face were also very revealing – Yeah bitch, you backed the wrong horse (‘s ass). Smell ya later!
The return of Lo was AWESOME! I was hoping for more JennJenner scoop, but that Oompa Loompa-lookin’-Brody Jenner-fuckin’-Lauren/Lo-screwin’-desperate-and now apparently friendless bitch – looks to be getting a SMACK down next week. CAN’T WAIT – you with me Laguna??!!!
Also, I can’t believe Wh-Wh-Whitney might be a Wh-Wh-Whore-bag. I totally had her pegged as a cock-teasing, ice-queen. I say lock her back up in the Bavarian candy shop until she learns the Teen Vogue way of cock-teasery.
LO is NOT FAT! She was wearing an Empire-waisted dress, which was cut at an unflattering length. She had no double-chin, or fat arms happening – if she was a fatty those two things would be readily apparent. If we’re going to start talking fat let’s stick to talking about Toothy McDouchebag’s head.
Oh yeah, count me in on The Hills drinking game. We’ve got the headband rule, how about every time Toothy McDouchebag refers to Heidi in the third-person you have to do a double? Did someone already add that one?
Oh yeah, even though it’s LA – and I presume fairly warm (I’m East Coast too) – I STILL think it’s really tacky that Heidi’s wearing sundresses and summer attire in January. So NOT Teen Vogue. If she starts clomping out of limos without underpants I will hurl. Seriously, I will.
I agree, Lo is NOT fat! Her dress and hairstyle weren’t the most flattering of choices, but she’s a very cute girl and it was GREAT to see her again.
Ugh, Spencer. Why, why, WHY does Heidi like him??? It’s so obvious that he watched last season’s episode in which Heidi lamented Jordan’s treatment of her, hence his exaggerated, “Princess Heidi” compliments. BLECH!
I understand about editing and that we’re only seeing a very small segment of what actually happens in the casts’ lives, but even that small amount of Spencer is too much for me.
I think we should have a Spencer penalty in The Hills drinking game. Every time he and Heidi go to one of Boogie’s restaurants/clubs, you have to eat 10 Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips – just to experience the sheer douche-iness of it.
Lol Chee-Z, there are many days in a So-Cal January where people sweat just from standing in one spot under the sun. Not wearing summer attire would be torturous ;P
…although I don’t actually recall it being too hot around New Years… tacky she is???
LagunaConsultant,
welcome. I do miss B side but I am willing to let you try (try!) to win me over…
I am extremely disappointed that I didn’t see you make a mocking mention of the huge pimp style Archangel gold medallion Spencer wore when he and heidi were out to eat,
or the hideous new hair cut Brody Jenner seemed to be sporting in the previews for next week.
I hope you will be enjoying a green beer at the Purple Shamrock or Cask ‘n Flagon (or whichever watering hole’s door you choose to darken) in preparation for your next recap. just relax and do it the teen vogue way and you’ll do fine. (try taping some blank post its next to your computer screen for inspiration).
which reminds me, does anyone think it continues to be so funny how lauren never socializes with whitney?
One last thing. Lo is definitely heavy, empire waist or not. I don’t recommend any more rear camera views of her
I stand corrected shiaobundan
. I’m totally Northeast (and Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt are still consulted regularly in my family). Of course I fail spectacularly in the “Filthy Mouth” and “Doesn’t Always Play Well With Others” categories. LOL!
We’re definitely different from SoCal, wish I could move there…. what DOES the sun look like in the winter? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it…
“follow the path the great Roz laid forth 3 years ago”
Um – you had me at hello. Great job.
You have always made me laugh with your comments as much as B-side has made me laugh with his Recaps…
Can not wait for more
OMG! I miss B-Side sooooo much!
At least LagunaConsultant didn’t include any cheesy made up dialogue!
Okay, I tried to be positive. I can’t say much about this recap because I got bored reading it and couldn’t get past the horrible grammar. I’m sorry. I really wanted to like it. Maybe I just miss B-Side too much, but I just couldn’t get into it. Maybe in a few more recaps you’ll come into your own. And please, please, please, edit and check grammar. Maybe send it to someone else before you post it? It’s such a waste of our time to read something sloppily done like that.
This episode was okay. It’s so painful to watch Heidi be so stupid and fall for Spencer’s manipulative behavior. I feel so sorry for her. And what’s up with Lauren showing off her pretty lame NYE kiss to Whitney and seemingly, like, bragging about it? Weird.
The best part was Heidi’s co-worker’s face when she was talking about moving in with Spencer. HAHAHAHA! I wonder what Heidi thought after seeing that. No one takes her seriously. HAHAHAHA!
Nice job on the recap Lasultant! There is hope for us after all
Yeah, I sorta agree with what some of the people are saying (I forgot to write their names/post number down). The recap was not that great; It felt like a better-than-average forum post. It just didn’t feel polished, there were parts where it became hard to read because it got dull. You did well with the screenshots though and I did chuckle at some of the jokes. Oh yeah I don’t like the list either. It just read like you were trying to hard, or forcing yourself to be similair to Bside. GL on your next recap
Okay if I say something someone has already said, sorry. Can’t read ALL the comments right now.
Laguna-good job on your first recap. Not B-Side, but not bad at all.
My feelings on the episode are well..I kinda felt bad for Heidi. Aside from the whole trying to hook up Brody and Lauren episode, spending all your time with a new boyfriend is something we all do. And while Spence is a douchebag, he does seem to have stopped the whole trying to talk to every girl he sees issue. (While we just not be seeing it)
So I think that Lauren is a sucky sucky friend for making Heidi choose.
And last for the moment-WHAT IN THE HELL DID LO HAVE ON WHEN THEY WENT FOR SUSHI??????
It would seem most of you are forgetting that B-Side himself recommended LagunaConsultant to take over the recaps in a comment he posted on last week’s board.
I’m guessing that since he has B’s approval, he doesn’t care what the rest of you think.
Just read it again to see what all the fuss is about, the J-Wahl screencap is classic. F**kin’ dumbass.
Wasn’t crazy about the recap, although I appreciate that LagunaConsultant put himself out there and risked being critiqued.
I’m still trying to figure out why Spencer suddenly felt the need to bust out the power suit, but it looked so, so wrong. If you give a toothy douche a suit… that thing looked like a Halloween costume on him. When Heidi asked him how he was going to get a house, Mrs. DonAntonio and I (yeah, it’s like that) shared a glance of pure delight.
Lauren seems like a GREAT friend! She’s generous, loyal, and understanding.
She’s not making anybody choose, but how can she possibly completely confide in Heidi while Heidi is dating a sleazeball intent on undermining her (Lauren) in every way??
I give Lauren major props for taking a stand. She’s entitled to having boundaries, even with her best friends, and she is doing the right thing by steering clear of toxic people.
god spencer sucks.
I guess Spencer is a little too pu$$y to admit that Dr Pratt DDS is buying him a house on camera.
As if we couldn’t figure that out ourselves. Kind of hard to afford a SoCal mortgage w/ no job! Ya douche!
Yeah, I know that I personally would not have had the nerve, the absolute chutzpa to try to follow in the yeti-sized footsteps of B-Side. Especially with posters openly threatening any Hills recapper that wasn’t good. (Oh wait, that was you¦)
I am not sure I am going to give any real “feedback” here. Because that’s just the way I roll. No one is B-Side, not even the more experienced writers on this site. I will say, though, that I personally don’t really care about spelling/grammar (that may be obvious from my own posts) & I kind of had a visual of “turrets” acting up, so that was kind of cute even, but, for me, the recap started off on a sour note, because you, sir, are not my “master,” nor I your “sidekick”; and though that was all meant to be funny (it wasn’t really), it kind of provoked a “who the @#*$ does this guy think he is?” response in me. On the plus side, your best bits were the cocker spaniel sequence & the fire code query.
Other notes, I find it kind of funny that lists have been declared inherently unfunny. Poor David Letterman.
NYword, I’ve decided you’re just putting us on, right? I mean no one “ no one is that arrogant and stupid at the same time, so this is a joke, right?
Finally, the episode left me strangely unsettled. Heidi seemed so sad & just kind of pathetic. Was I overzealous in my utter explosion of Heidi hate in the wake of Bunney-Gate? I mean, not that I like her now, but my hate has kind of deflated a bit.
I really don’t think that Lauren is putting Heidi in any position to choose – that is just what Heidi thinks in that small brain of hers. Lauren realizes that although Spencer is an ass, Heidi is going to spend a lot of time with him bc she is in love. I do not think, though, that she expects Heidi to make plans with her and then blow her off to be with Spencer. That is just rude and no true friend would do that. I cannot believe how brainwashed Heidi is though. It’s so sad…
Aww, LC I thought you did good. I think maybe this wasn’t the best episode for your first recap because it was so uneventful. I’ve skimmed past many a B-Side Hills recap (blasphemy, I know!) if the episode was really boring. Next week seems to be a dramafest and you’ll definitely bounce back.
this recap sucked…
Team L-Con!
That’s my new name for you, because I’m too lazy to type it out! BTW – there have been a few grammar-challenged recappers on here, who were still revered for their wit and dedication. I’m firmly in the L-Con camp, I think he did a great job on short notice, and I personally would find it incredibly daunting to follow B-Side’s “record-breaking post” departure.
I thought it was a remarkably smooth transition, and I admire his dedication.
So there!
RW tonight, now THAT’s a recap replacement I am really scared of. Wish me luck, I may have to take up drinking as a hobby now…. Where’s that dang recipe for a “B-Side”?
Wait Chee-Z are you doing the Real World Recap now? I was hoping somebody is going to do it!
Dont get me wrong I do like LC. I like that she has the balls to stand up for herself. And I do think it was sh*tty of Heidi to stand her up last week for the movies.
But come on people, the girl is in love. No matter how much we hate Spencer, she is in love. And I dare anyone to say they’ve never brushed off a friend to spend time with a love-interest.
Spencer is a little frightening to me; and not just because of his ginormous chompers. I really think he believes that he’s this amazing mastermind who can manipulate anyone into thinking whatever he wishes. He’s like a cheesy Ted Bundy, but not nearly handsome or articulate.
I also find out how incredibly anal people will be regarding grammar. Say what you need to say, but don’t turn it into a fifth grade grammar lesson. ‘Guna gets what you’re saying. You don’t have to “wow” all of us because you have a degree in elementary education, or are a journalism student, or whatever. None of here are impressed. This isn’t The New York Times or USA Today–it’s TVgasm. Gasm. It’s right there in the title. Any word with ‘gasm’ in it lets the reader know that it is probably a silly, fun place.
Also, if you’re going to critique another’s grammatical or syntactical faults, please check your own work before submitting.
NYword-get over yourself. Apparently you’re an “NYU girl” who feels the need to take personal shots at someone instead of remaining objective. Go have a coffee and work on being bohemian and an intellect. You say you’ve only been reading here for a month, but you are considering leaving? In true NY fashion–please, feel free to exit Stage Left. Those of us who have read here for eons will forever cherish your pearls of wisdom.
Oh, and when I was an undergrad, I had an instructor who genuinely believed that people who typed in all lower-cased leters were insane. Cheers to you.
loader4life–Well said.
NYWord…
shut up. This is a website full of funny recaps of TV shows. I’m sure K Conrad has better things to do with her life than call up TVGasm and have B-Side fired so that she can plant a Laguna Beach local in the posts to protect her family.
B-Side is in LA and LagunaConsultant is in BOSTON.
This website is supposed to be lighthearted and funny yet I always read posts from people slamming the writers and slamming other people that post. My advice to all of you with nothing nice to say, is stop reading it if you don’t like it.
PS Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict I’m looking forward to the RW recap!
I don’t think friends should tolerate Heidi simply because she is “in love”. Her behaviour and disloyalty are intolerable and insensitive. Also, friends do not enable harmful relationships. And Spencer plays so many head games. Heidi’s old boyfriend was kind of a sclump, but he never did her any mental harm. She was strong enough to stand up to him when he misbehaved. With Spencer, the old Heidi disintegrated a bit. She snapping out of it a bit now, but that doesn’t mean her friends have to pretend everything is OK. That’s called being a hypocrite.
southernbelle..tee-hee!!!!
Grammar is kind of important, even if you’re ONLY posting on TVGASM. It helps the reader to better understand what the heck you’re saying. If I have to re-read something constantly because of poor grammar, I will stop reading it. My grammar isn’t perfect, but I would be sure to at least thoroughly edit a recap before posting it on a popular, public website. I don’t think I’m being a snob at all when I merely say his grammar made it hard for me to stick with it.
As far as B-Side giving LagunaConsultant his blessing or whatever . . .so? That doesn’t mean LagunaConsultant is perfect or even the best choice for the job. Out of all the most dedicated message board posters, sure. I’m just not going to kiss anyone’s ass just because they’re popular. This isn’t to say that I even dislike L. Con (hehe), I just don’t get why everyone thinks he’s, like, the best ever. Sorry if I didn’t like the recap. What’s the big deal?
I will give L. Con the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to this being his first recap. He’s still trying to find his own voice and such. I’m sure he’ll get better with more experience.
And I don’t regularly read anything besides this and the RW recaps, so I cannot say if other recappers have poor grammatical skills. If someone is hilarious enough, I’m sure the grammar can be tolerated, if not completely overlooked. That was just not the case with this recap.
HELLO PEOPLE! THE EMPEROR HAS NEW CLOTHES!!!!
Team B-Side!
Am I the only one who had no issues reading this recap, even with the grammar? I didn’t have to re-read it at all. It may not have been the best recap I have read on tvgasm, but it wasn’t terrible…and there is definite potential here.
B-Sides shoes are tough to fill – Fine job Laguna Consultant!
YankeesFan:
I also had no trouble reading the recap – the grammar really didn’t make any difference to me.
I thought this was a good recap – definitely funny and tons of potential for future recaps.
Go LagunaConsultant!
Stand your ground, AC!
While I personally am not bothered by occasional grammar lapses (or visions of the turrets of castle L-Con), I like that you are not just drinking the Kool-aid & were not even bought off by the “most improved” award, or whatever that was.
I have to agree with Tiffany to a certain degree.
There are a couple of things you have to keep in mind though; they have only been dating for a few months! It’s not like this has been going on for years now, less than 9 months ago Heidi was “madly in love” with Jordan. I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been in a few relationships that have moved pretty fast in the beginning, yet I never had any thoughts of abandoning my friends after dating that person for 3 months. There isn’t a girl on earth I would do that for, Lauren Conrad be damned.
The other problem I have with this whole scenario is how people toss around the word love so carelessly now-a-days. From my vantage point at home, this seems like a prime example. Heidi’s not in love with Spencer, she’s head over her heels in lust with him. People with the maturity level of Heidi aren’t capable of knowing what true love is. She thinks Spencer is very hot (I don’t see how, but to each his own,) and has a lot going for him (he does have money.) Those two things are a very lethal combination to impressionable girls. More importantly though, Spencer LOVES her. Someone who she believes is a very sought after person, wants HER. People who are insecure crave this type of approval, especially from people they consider to have higher status than them. Failure to gain that approval leads to jealously, which is the problem that Spencer has. Spencer envies Lauren’s spotlight, and her disapproval of him drives his wildly insecure mind crazy. Jealousy leads to spite, which eventually turns to hate.
Whether Heidi likes it or not, dickhead is eventually going to leave her. Spencer will milk every resource Heidi brings to the table, but when he’s worn them all out, he’ll drop her like a bad habit. I wish Heidi will figure this out before that, but sadly I doubt it’ll happen. This is one of those situations that people need to figure out on their own. Even if you’ve seen this scenario play out before your eyes with a friend, it’s a completely different situation when you’re the one in the hot seat. Granted Lauren may not have let it get to this extreme, but she was definitely guilty of this as well when she was with Jason. She knows better now though, and Heidi eventually will too. Lauren needs to realize that she is more than entitled to state her opinion to Heidi, but that Heidi needs to realize these things on her own, just like she did this past summer with Jason.
I don’t think Heidi is a bad person, and I really think in her mind she believes she’s doing nothing wrong. She’s like a lost sheep that can’t find their way back to the herd haha. Hopefully she doesn’t damage her relationship with Lauren beyond repair, because I doubt this whole Spencer thing is going to last much longer.
Blueberdie was right on when they said friends shouldn’t have to tolerate her because she’s in “love.” Being in love does not excuse poor behavior. That is on the same level as cheating when your drunk. It may lessen the blow, but it doesn’t make it acceptable.
Very good insight, LagunaConsultant! And the grammar was good, too!
I agree with you whole-heartedly on your observations on their relationship.
See, I don’t hate you.
AC- I agree with you. I liked the recap, but it would have been 10 times better if I didn’t have to re-read several parts in order to make sense of the misspellings and errors. Really don’t need to be a journalist to have that be distracting. Chill out Southern Belle.
Sweet. Your from Boston.
I will def. keep reading.
Since this grammar thing seems to be a big deal, here’s my weigh in: I didn’t notice too much and I didn’t have to re-read anything more than I’ve had to in some of the B-Side recaps. And like a few others have said in regards to turrets, I had a grand time envisioning architectural structures acting up on “Castle L-Con”. It may have been unintentional, but it fricken made me laugh.
AC— no one ever said that L.Con was the best ever. Everyone is just saying that he did a pretty good job for his first time. And i think he did also.
anyways, abou the episode………I agree that Spencer is an abusive boyfriend. He’s putting things in Heidi’s head to make her think that he’s most important then everyone. When he mentioned that ‘there’s a difference between friends and someone your romantically involved with’, was he trying to say that the boyfriend is more important?? He’s seriously mental, they haven’t been dating that long and she’s been friends with Lauren for a few years now and he expects her to put him on the top of her list? Or maybe in his mind, the only one on her list. He’s trying to control Heidi. He dosen’t want her to be with anyone but him. One day he’s going to be one of those guys that doesn’t let their girlfriends out of the house. That’s why he wants her to move in with him so he can watch her all the time and lock her up! Seriously, why, why why are they wanting to move in with each other after only dating for a few months? Another thing, Heidi has no right to be jealous of Lauren and Audrina’s friendship. What does she expect Lauren to do? Wait around until Big Head let’s her out? Heidi and Spencer deserve each other……..may they have the most dysfunctional relationship together. =)
Ok – Here’s my theory about Spencer & the “house” he’s going to “get”………. I think he is trying to get Heidi to stop living with Lauren, so she can live with him & they can do a reality show – sort of a Newleyweds meets Spongebob or something weird like that. He’ll probably pitch his idea to MTV (or maybe he already has) and they’ll supply the house.
I think Heidi seems apprehensive because in her mind, despite how cocky she’s become, I think she still is realistic enough to know that Lauren is her bread and butter & if she leaves, that leaves a slot open for Lauren to have a new roomate & maybe a new show. I can totally picture Lauren & Audrina having their own show & I’m sure Heidi can too – & it makes her VERY nervous.
Bottom line is Spencer is a bottom feeding douchebag who tries to capitalize on other peoples successes because he has none. He has no talent & no real brains, which is why he needs to come up with schemes like having his best friend become “the guy who got Nicole Richie to eat”.
Also, I could be wrong, but in the beginning of the episode, while they were in the hair salon, did Audrina ask Lauren if Spencer rented a limo & Lauren said that he did because he doesn’t have a car? – I could swear that’s what was said – i rewound it like 4 times – Anyway, maybe not even that BMW he lurks around is is his! – This guy’s whole existence is a total sham!
Southernbelle are you referring to me? o_O
If you are,
I pointed out a stylistic issue (not a grammar problem) that really screws with the flow of his writing. Laguna Consultant asked for feedback and while some people complained that the recap was “boring” or “unreadable”, I thought the problem had more to do with the article’s basic flow, and I gave a very simple example of how to fix it. I wasn’t trying to “wow” anyone with my example, because I don’t find it all that hard to impress the under 70 IQ crowd. It was the simplest way for me to point out the issue. I gave constructive criticism, and I was trying to be helpful, as are the other people that have, as Laguna Consultant asked, given feedback. I know TVGasm is supposed to be a “fun” place. I agree. That being said, most (certainly not all– but that’s okay) of the older/former recappers here (and recappers at TWOP) write at a near-professional level, but show the “fun” through tone.
If you aren’t referring to me,
…my bad. Have a nice day, but I still think its rude that you’re so hostile to people that are just trying help Laguna Consultant out on his first recap. There are definately some a**holes here who don’t know how to be polite while giving criticism, but there’s no need to snark at other readers.
p.s. I hope Heidi’s parents are watching the show, and see how Spencer is treating her. And yank her back to Colorado so fast. He’s probably not even welcome in their home. I don’t even know him, but I can not stand him soooo much. I wish someone would just punch his big head out if they see him around. Even though Kristin isn’t a very nice person, I wouldn’t think that she would ever ever ever set one of her friends up with a guy like that. Unless she doesn’t really like Heidi, then that’s understandable.
My friend had a boyfriend like Spencer, who didn’t like her friends and didn’t want her to hang out with her friends. He was trying to keep her all to himself. I understand that when you first start dating someone you spend a lot of your free time with them, but that doesn’t mean you should treat your friends like they’re not important and stand them up. And you should never pick your boyfriend, who you’ve only been seeing a few months, over your best friend. What kind of friend are you if you do that?
long story short….my friend’s ex-boyfriend was seriously crazy in the head. Too bad she didn’t realize that right away. But everyone says they want to find out on their own, but sometimes you should listen to a friend when they keep trying to tell something, so you can avoid all the craziness, drama, and time wasted. But that was years ago……she’s fine, she realized it…….and he’s long gone.
I hope Heidi has been watching the episodes, and see what an ass he is. Her last boyfriend wasn’t even that bad at all.
okay, enough Speidi bashing…..let me get on with my life =)
So which do you wanna hear first – good news or bad news?
Ok, good news first then! The good news is that I’m happy someone who actually watches and enjoys the show has stepped up to the plate to pick up where B-side left off. Muchas gracias for that!
Now the bad news…I didn’t laugh or smile even once while reading the recap. And that’s what I read these for, that and catching up with the haps on the show if I missed it. I’ve finished reading the recap and still am not sure what the hell happened on the show. So too much personal opinion, not enough recap.
Not bad for a first try, but I was expecting more from you, Laguna Consultant. Maybe next time…
Not sure if anyone has already stated this but Natania goes to USC (with Jenn, Spencer, Christina, & Whitney) She and Jill are also from Laguna. For your first time, I think you did a great job Laguna Consultant! You can’t always please everyone. keep it up!!
“I wasn’t trying to “wow” anyone with my example, because I don’t find it all that hard to impress the under 70 IQ crowd.”
Oi, just who the hell is this aimed at?
If this was aimed at the commenters here, well, we might be a bunch of drunks and Spencer haters but an under 70IQ crowd? PLEASE.
I agree with the folks that Heide is not really in love with this dick bag. She is infatuated by his bullshit and the little bit of celebrity this hand job has. I really don’t think Heide is a bad person, just very naive(sp?) She showed she was a good friend to Lauren when she was going through the rough time with J-Bahls, and I think she will see the big picture soon enough. Happy St. Patricks Day Spencer, you bag o’ dicks.
Team Lauren
Team Lo
Team Ashes
ps: what’s weird is that Jenn Bunney has a facebook album from her 21st birthday…and Lauren is there the entire night. From the pictures it looks as though Lauren, Jenn Bunney & friends went back to an apt and just hung out together till morning. so…I’m not really sure how much truth there is on either side (pics and The Hills.)
You tell em BlondeGirl.
Shiaobundan, you are a total ass.
I understand grammar is very important. I personally have spent the better part of my life assuming the way that I speak or write is a reflection of my character. I resent that since I was raised in the south I am assumed to be ignorant or unintelligent. I never said that the misuse of grammar isn’t distracting or annoying. But that’s not for me to decide.
It’s one thing if you were reading a popular news publication. But you’re at TV-freaking-gasm. Like AC said, it’s a “popular, public website.” Public. I pay absolutely nothing to read here. TVgasm is offered to me for my entertainment free of charge. I do nothing to benefit those who spend their time and effort to post here. I like to think of it as a treat. Who am I to complain about the way in which the writing is delivered? That’s like sending back a free meal because it wasn’t cooked to my liking. I could either shut up and eat it or get out.
And if you are spending half of your day deciphering TVgasm recaps because of minor grammar snafus, then maybe the issue isn’t with the writer. This is an entertainment website. Informal. Put down your Master’s thesis and relax. Turn your brain off of MENSA mode.
And finally, so what if I choose to read elsewhere? Someone will come right along and fill my space. That’s true for most of us here. TVgasm will keep on keepin’ on. I just think it’s hilarious how people think that by threatening their departure, TVgasm will forever be changed.
shia0bundan–I wasn’t referring to you at any point. If anything, I agreed with what you wrote. I was making a generalization about several comments. I like how I am the one considered rude though. Oh well, it’s only TVgasm.
That will be the last of my soapbox preachings. But if there is one thing I can instill in you readers today it’s–There is a HUGE difference between:
Let’s eat, Grandma!
and
Let’s eat Grandma!
It was pretty good for a first recap LagunaConsultant..I miss B-side but ill def keep reading..plus your from Boston which scores MAJOR points with me
Anyone else want to throw something at the TV everytime Spencer opened his f’n mouth?
I think NYWord is Emily W., intern extraordinare…
Diana811 (#122)
I agree. This is the same cad that bragged about his plans to make and purposely leak a sex-tape, so it makes perfect sense.
I feel sorry for Heidi. I don’t know what she sees in him, but she’s hooked. I don’t really agree with most people that say she’s hanging on to Lauren for fame. I think she’s just in a tough situation. Her boyfriend is insanely posessive, and her best friend is feeling deserted. Heidi did have a good point about the Lauren/Jason thing, IMO. She didn’t object to Lauren moving out, so Lauren really doens’t have much right to be offended by Heidi moving in with Spencer.
I think I differ on my opinion of the Lauren/Heidi situation because I’ve never been a fan of “LC”. (I was/am team KCav). This doesn’t usually happen for reality TV, but I guess I like the show and don’t care too much for the main character.
It seems like Lauren is just 100% hostile to Heidi/Spencer, which is kidn of understandable because Spencer is an asswhipe. But c’mon, we’ve all hated one of our friend’s girlfriends/boyfriends. What do we do? We suck it up and do the “mature” thing, which is (ironically?) to be fake and tolerate each other like one big happy family. I doubt that the ladder-climbing Mr. Pratt would object to being fake friends with the (more) famous Lauren Conrad. I think Spencer realizes that he can’t win with Lauren, which is why he started the “brainwashing” thing on Heidi.
I don’t think Lauren is showing character/backbone through her refusal to accept Speidi. I think its a bit immature and I don’t think Lauren would have tolerated Heidi constantly bashing Jason, who is (at best) 1 point lower on the douche meter than Spencer.
Anyways, I always the story arcs The Hills/LB with a grain of salt, because these shows are always edited in favor of the central character, who conveniently gets to rattle off her side of the story at the beginning of each episode.
BlondeGirl,
That comment wasn’t aimed at anyone here. I just meant that the only people that would have been impressed by something like that would be stupid people. I don’t think that many stupid people read TVGasm, therefore I didn’t write my first comment with the intent of impressing anyone.
Luxe,
Well I guess I should just bow before your non-assery!
Southernbelle,
Sorry if I came off to hostile this time around. I will agree to disagree with you though, because I feel like while many grammar problems can be ignored, there is a certain level of “readibility” that recaps must have. In the end, you’re right, its just TVGasm. No hard feelings I hope.
Perhaps this “godfather” that was spoken of in a previous episode is going to get Spencer a house. If he is, I think that’s pretty weird. I doubt that Spencer McDouche Bag minds being a kept man.
Oh yes, Laguna Consultant, I think you’re doing a fine job and I didn’t mind the list at all. Can’t wait to read next week’s recap.
Is Chee-Z really doing the RW recap?
“But if there is one thing I can instill in you readers today it’s–There is a HUGE difference between:
Let’s eat, Grandma!
and
Let’s eat Grandma!”
I couldn’t control my laughter when I read this and thus caused my Media Ethics professor to stop and give me The Glare of Shame for bursting out laughing in the middle of class.
you should. thanks!
@ shiaobundan: Okay. In context it read more that you didn’t have to try to impress us because we all have low IQs and not because they probably can’t even figure out how a computer works let alone how to log onto TVGasm. And I thought for a second: not another NYWord!
one part that no one has brought up: during lauren and lo’s sushi dinner (btw, i hate those monster rolls-smothered-in-unagi-sauce places) they mentioned that jenn jenner didn’t show up for new years even though she bought a ticket.
does that mean lauren bought “dirk nowitski from colorado”‘s ticket? did she have an extra one hanging around? these are the things that i ponder while riding the elevator at work (when there’s nothing interesting on the “captivate network”)?
also, given how wasted lauren was, do you think she did the bone dance with not-dirk nowitski? i’ve seen normally prudish girls do crazy shit on holidays like new years and halloween.
case in point, whitney making out with three guys on the previous new years. thinking about that and seeing her in her softball outfit made me all warm inside. nice pins, whitney! let’s ichat!
and to the detractors of lc. this WAS kind of a boring ep to recap. read some of b-side’s older recaps. he definitely got better/more consistent over the years. don’t pull the ripcord yet!
Chee-Z, You’re doing the RW recaps? Also, in regards to Heidi wearing summer clothing in winter, maybe it’s a southern California thing? I don’t actually own a pair of pants, from sweats to jeans to trousers, much less have any type of winter wardrobe other than a couple of sweaters and a long sleeve shirt of two. (But I do have about 15 scarfs – go figure.) Like shiaobundan said, a lot of the times in “winter” down here it’s too warm to be in full winter or autumnal garb.
Sorry for the confusion – I meant I’m scared of who the NEW recapper is. I am not doing the recap – I am just obsessed with the RW. I’m really going to miss B-Side over there, so I’m still in mourning. I should have read that post over more carefully – my apologies.
Also, I would find taking over that recap really intimidating, so regardless of whatever people have to say about L-Con’s recap – I have a lot of respect for anyone who is willing to take that on. We’re a notoriously tough crowd, and as much as I love shooting my mouth off – I’d be scared.
The drinking is just going to be my little dysfunctional way of dealing with the void that B-Side will leave over there….
Sorry again! I’m feeling embarassed now.
“It’s one thing if you were reading a popular news publication. But you’re at TV-freaking-gasm. Like AC said, it’s a “popular, public website.” Public. I pay absolutely nothing to read here. TVgasm is offered to me for my entertainment free of charge. I do nothing to benefit those who spend their time and effort to post here. I like to think of it as a treat. Who am I to complain about the way in which the writing is delivered? That’s like sending back a free meal because it wasn’t cooked to my liking. I could either shut up and eat it or get out.”
Here’s where we differ. If I get a poorly cooked free meal that was done half ass, I would STILL COMPLAIN. Just because it’s free doesn’t mean that I expect it to be bad or that I have to accept it being bad because I didn’t pay for it. Don’t do something half-ass and come back with the excuse of, “Hey, it was free! Who cares?” Not to say L. Con. gave that excuse, because he didn’t. If you’re doing a recap in your free time because you LIKE to do it, you’d think you’d try harder. You’d want the public to, if not enjoy it, be able to read it. I know L. Con. is smart, but even he admitted he finished it at 3am and must have been so tired he screwed up with spell check, etc. Not a mortal sin, but it’s annoying.
By your logic, Southernbelle, a PUBLIC (re:”free”) school teacher who, let’s say, isn’t good with kids and doesn’t really know how to teach properly, is NOT at fault because the kids aren’t paying. They’re receiving a “free” education. Pretty ridiculous, right? You may argue that it’s different because those teachers are getting paid to teach, but the basic principle is the same. According to you, if it’s free, you shouldn’t expect too much.
If you’re WRITING for a website, I would think you might want to be a good writer? I don’t know. Just an opinion.
Again, not saying L. Con. is a bad writer or stupid or horrible or anything else, I’m more or less just arguing a point.
also, to answer a question above. most restaurants in los angeles take your first and last name (then they look you up on baseline film tracker to see how important you are – which determines the quality of your table). some restaurants only take your first. i usually give my first name when i go to a los angeles restaurant since that’s what they usually scan for in the book.
it was an adjustment. i grew up in san francisco and lived in new york before moving here. i remember giving my last name then.
re: area being the only club in town. my guest is area was one of the few clubs that allowed the mtv cameras to film. maybe hilary duff didn’t want the cameras catching her downing equine diet pills.
“i hope my smart-ass comments didn’t show up B-side so badly that he got canned for failing to be as brilliant as me…”
Oooh, bad form NYword, if we didn’t think you were incredibly full of yourself, it might have been taken as sarcasm. How arrogant can someone who takes The Hills so seriously be?
“i think laguna consultant is most likely someone who lives in laguna and knows the people in the show (e.g., goes to the same high school), but was too ugly to be filmed for the show, and this whole obsessive commenting on tvgasm has been this person’s consolation prize.”
And, so, what exactly is your excuse??
L-Con, I rarely watch The Hlls but always read B-Sides recaps, so you do have tough shoes to fill-duh, like you didn’t know that. I agree with what someone else said, it started slow but got better. And congrats for getting so many comments on your first recap! I’d be more worried if no one bothered to comment.
P.S. Speaking of sarcasm,Lime23 (#99)-L-Con’s first paragraph regarding masters & sidekicks, that would be the proper use of sarcasm for humor.
LOL! L-Con, you’ve arrived! You know when we’re all ripping into each other – you’ve done your job.
It’s nice to see that we’re all back to our snarky, board-bashing selves – I feel safe again, all is right in the world! LOL!
“P.S. Speaking of sarcasm,Lime23 (#99)-L-Con’s first paragraph regarding masters & sidekicks, that would be the proper use of sarcasm for humor.”
Oh, thank you, TVaholic, whoever you are, for explaining to me the “proper” use of sarcasm for humor. I get so confused sometimes. Can you also help me find all the instances of social satire, cruel irony and/or generic rapier-like wit? And puns, I really need help identifying puns. Or perhaps it would be easier if you just tell me how many times I’m supposed to laugh when I’m reading the recap — and I’ll try it again.
AC IS HOT
I don’t think LC is being immature or unfair about this whole thing. She sees that Spencer is brainwashing her, and notices that Heidi has ‘changed’ in ways. Heidi is not the same person and Lauren doesn’t like the ‘new Heidi’ And dosen’t like how Spencer is treating her. Before, Heidi would have never stood up Lauren or tried to hook up a friend with a guy that Lauren has been dating. So, of course Lauren doesn’t want Heidi to be with Spencer. Why would anyone want their friend to be with someone like that. And it would make anyone else mad if you’re friend wasn’t even trying to listen to you or warn you. If your friend was going through the same you would feel the same way that Lauren is. It’s understandable that Lauren no longer wants to hear anything about Spencer or hang out with Spencer ever again. And she’s only keeping her distance from Heidi because Heidi has dissed her many times over Spencer, and Lauren is tired of it. So she’s going to do her own thing. But of course she will be there for her friend, if Heidi ever really needed her. But first she has to say ‘I told you so!!’ Haha…just kidding.
oops, i meant ‘if you’re friend wasn’t even listening to you when you’re trying to warn them’
yeah, my grammar isn’t that great either. =)
I’ve finally seen this episode. NOW I remember who Lo is (please don’t stab me, Laguna Beach fans!). I never thought she was cute and her current hairstyle is not improving her looks.
Moving on…
As for Speidi, usually I wanna use Spencer’s pitchfork to knock some sense into Heidi. But is it just me or does Heidi actually stand up (i.e., talk back) to Spencer in this episode? I was very happy to see that. Spencer is a manipulative bastard, especially how he kept bringing up LC dissing Heidi in front of the club. Yea, it sucks what LC did, but she had her reasons. The last thing a SUPPORTIVE boyfriend would do at that time is highlight tension in a best-friendship. His little sarcastic comments only served to remind Heidi WHY LC is now dissing her – because Heidi dissed LC for SPENCER! I guess Spencer is now a member of Team Backfire. LOL
I really think Heidi is in love with Spencer’s constant compliments (which is actually his way of sidetracking Heidi whenever he just did or said something incredibly arrogant, tacky, or thoughtless).
My last boyfriend often did this: would compliment the hell out of me whenever I was angry at him, which only served to piss me off more. Once, I called him on that habit of his and he totally admitted it! “Compliments do seem to make people happy when they’re mad, so it’s a good strategy.” Grrrr.
Poor Heidi. As long as she has insecurities, she will keep falling for Spencer’s BS.
When Laguna Consultant commented, he made me laugh (L-Con is a guy right?). I got a few giggles out of this recap, but I won’t be hard on L-Con because it’s not an easy thing to come after B-Side. And I feel we must give L-Con a chance. The fact that this recap wasn’t the best recap ever doesn’t mean L-Con isn’t a good writer or unfunny or something…
But I will say this L-Con, could you keep your love/lust for Lauren out of the recaps? It’s distracting to say the least. That’s just my opinion. But I do think it’s cool you’re doing this. So thanks.
Everything’s pretty much been said.
Whitney and her totally distracting roots… *sigh* I really thought she was a natural blonde. Why did she choose the lightest blonde when her hair is naturally so dark?! *tisk tisk* …Not the Teen Vogue way of doing things!
Oh! And it’s not fair to be so mean to Lo about her weight, yes she’s gained but nobody ever says anything about Lauren. Lauren has gained some weight since LB season 1. Am I right? Not a whole lot, and she still looks great but LC is definitely no waif (which is really good, I’m just saying). Heidi and Audrina I think are both smaller than Lauren, not by much but they are. But who cares right? And Lo gained more but her face is not fat which I think is a good indication that she’s ok, so far. And she’s cute, she just needs to lose the hairstyle.
dang, i will miss b-side and the way he makes things that i overlooked in episodes funny. ya, keep trying LC you just might get your own angle and style. if not, go back to oogiling Cami’s over spilling cleavage.
Spencer’s violin impression at dinner was stellar. OH SNAP!!!
Apropos of nothing, donde esta TitsMagee?
Because of B-side withdrawal, I just got around to reading the recap – and I really liked it! Great job LagunaConsultant!
Lime23,
NICE response! Keep those fiery comments coming and maybe I’ll stick around reading recaps and commenting!
a few quick remarks:
1. didn’t someone say in a past recap comment section that they always went to Area since it was one of the few clubs willing to let spencer in?
2. yes porcelain, I think Lauren also has gained some weight since LB but I think she was heavier last year?
I think opting to reveal your life on TV opens you up to the inevitable weight scrutiny, so she and Lo will either have to lose weight or deal with more critiques. i’m not saying its right, just saying how i think it is.
3. i often use my first name in restaurants so i wasn’t that weirded out when spencer did it. mostly I was amused since I imagined he might come sweeping into a restaurant and announce “I’m HERE!” and expect to be ushered to his table with a red carpet treatment. Somehow it was funny to me that he was just like a regular person (ONLY for that moment, mind you) going out to eat.
of course he was wearing that huge hideous medallion so it was hard to focus on much else for me in that moment anyway
The Ted Bundy reference was sweet. As was my new favorite catch phrase ‘hung like Ken’. I don’t think I’ll be able to work it into as many conversations as ‘not the teen vogue..’, but a useful addition nonetheless.
I was really hoping CheeZ was going to take Real World on. Hopefully she’s bluffing, and the recap is in the works. Maybe that’s some kind of TVgasm initiation rite.
And speaking of Ms Duff, who thinks Spencer’s dad did her teeth?
lovedoctor- Yes, I think Lauren was heavier last year too. It’s true, these girls have put themselves in a position where they will be scrutinized. The best they can do is not let it get to them. I guess I was just trying to say Lo isn’t fat and she was the only one being called chunky “in comparison to LC”. But, yeah Lo hasn’t been on camera for a long time so people are going to notice.
I love Lagunaconsultant for taking over for B-side. Not only are B-sides shoes incredibly hard to fulfill, but I think the effort and recap was awesome for a first timer. For everyone who keeps insulting the recap, let’s see how well you manage to fill B-side’s shoes. I know any recap that I thought of would be horrible in comparison. I can’t remember the exact person, but whoever compared LagCon to B-side by saying, “love the one you are with” is completely right. Most people are too caught up with the loss of B-side and their constant comparisons to him to accept something new!!! Well done LagCon.
P.S. I’ve been in school in Boston for three years. Knowing someone like you resides in the same place makes me
OK im so drunk right now…I had too many “mind erasers” (my fav drink). anyway, someone mentioned…
“Whitney and her totally distracting roots… *sigh* I really thought she was a natural blonde. Why did she choose the lightest blonde when her hair is naturally so dark?!”
Ok…Im a natural blonde who has been highlighting her hair for years. After awhile hair gets darker..for natural bright blondes sometimes it becomes a nasty dirty blonde. SOOO…keeping that blonde you once had takes maintence. If you’re on a reality show this is like at least once a month maintence at 200-600 dollars. anyway, drunk…defending highlighted blondes.
goodnihgt
ya know…or Maintenance…for all the grammar nazis out there
BayArea-
I know hair gets darker, but Whitney’s roots didn’t look dirty blonde, they looked very dark brown in contrast with the rest that was very light-not much of a maintenance thing. I’ll have to watch again to make sure. And she’s not highlighted, rather her hair was completely dyed. No offense to anyone. I want to highlight my own hair! Just something that wont scream fake when my hair starts to grow out, but that’s just me. I was just trying to imply that I don’t think Lisa Love with her Teen Vogue ways would approve of such thick chunks of contrasting roots. But maybe that’s considered chic…what do I know.
Not to be one of those drunks who adds comments(by the way love ya bayarea, blonde and brunette, and chee-z) but, just got home from massive binge drinking and 1st thing i checked -tvgasm(yes, priorities)….crap, forgot my point.
oh, yes…lo-i heart u-but she put on the lbs. lc- if anything lost weight(she issssss on tv). weight sooo unimportant in friend quality. ho-di you are a sucky friend. tantastic jenn bunney jenner you too are a sucky friend. spencer you – well, are a waste of space. For you, going on in this world is not necessary.
um, what else. lasultant, thanks for taking the reigns. loved the recap. can we get a screencap involving the blueberry tracksuit?
so have more to say but losing the will to not pass out. grammar police – forgive me. i am super intelligent(no NYword, I’m from the south)but I do not judge so take pity. Ever in Houston, I’ll buy you a Jaegerbomb;)
“I am calling this The Great Grammatical Debate of 2007. I personally couldn’t care less; I mean I proudly read, and spend hours talking about MTV reality shows. I’m not going to be nominated for any Nobel Prizes, or Pulitzers. This crap is just my speed.”
LOL! Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict, that’s really funny.
FYI- I’m not really a “Grammar Nazi.” I personally couldn’t care less about the grammar of the people who comment on the recaps. My grammatical/syntactical/stylistic gripes solely rest with the actual recap itself. So worry not, everyone. I will not be sending any of you to any gas chambers!
DonAntonio- I read the recap and some of the comments a few days ago and chose not to post. The comments are pretty out of control tearing Laguna Consultant a new one and wishing for B-Side to come back. Pretty harsh for a guy who had B-Side’s blessing to take over the recap in the first place. Granted Lasultant’s recap was not what we had come to know and love from B-Side, he did try ang I give him prop for it. Pretty brave considering how we all have the incllination to turn on sidekicks who dare make the transition to masters (i.e. Hodi). But now that I have been summoned I feel as though I must comment on the ACTUAL SHOW!
First off, I have no sympathy for Hodi. Yes, Lauren was portrayed as the perfect Mean Girl in this episode but she has moved on. Her best friend and munchkin fucker has ditched her to well…..fuck the munchkin all the time and so she had to strengthen her friendships with The Drina and Whit. Both girls seem more worthy of her time than Hodi anyway! Munchkin’s comment in the store with Hodi about shopping for dresses was hilarious. Something about “I shop for dresses all the time..I DO have TWO sisters.” HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Spencedog, you are so hard, bro! So gangsta! So……all about being a FAG!!!! I would love to see the slut peices of shit his sisters wore to prom. Also, twirling Hodi around the store seemed like a torture device. “Move in with me or I will spin you until you puke everywhere!” It was probably the dumbest way to ask a girl to move in with you ever. He should have taken a note our of Laguna’s book and just bought a piece of poster board and in big bubble letter written “House?” HA! That would have been awesome! I wish to God that we could have seen the reason behind Whitney’s softball game. Sorority intermurals would be my guess having been a greek girl myself. LO! The Return on Lo! She is adorable! Yes, she gained weight but you name me one bitch who went to college and got thinner! And getting mono doesn’t count. Their New Years looked fun….kinda like any other night at Les Deux but with sparklers. Colorado Guy was HOT but totally working the spinoff angle. “How about next season Lauren moves to Colorado and we go out on my boat?” Anyone else hate how Spencedog call Les Deux “The Club?” Just because it is the ONLY cllub you can get into doesn’t mean you can get all 50 Cent and call it The Club. LOSER MUNCHKIN!!! On another note, who do we think Brody spent New Years with??? Tantastic Jenn? Maybe getting that back door? Or maybe that was the two week period he force fed Nicole Richie and rode her coat tails to Q-List stardom. Next week looks promising. Lauren gets to serve it up to Brody and Jenn….again! HA! Making a biotch look like a biotch for a second time on national television is SOOOOO the Tean Vogue way of doing things.
And that is all she wrote…
Fuck! I posted and now see all my typos. The most embarrasing one being Tean instead of Teen on the last sentence. You all get my drift. Later.
Did anyone else see B-Side on the Today show this morning?? he was giving his American Idol input.
I am also a little fixated on the dark roots.
Clearly Heidi and Lauren get “comped” at Warren Tricomi, so their hair is looking really good these days. My advice to Whitney and Elodie to schedule their “root” jobs so they can get a free ride with Lauren/Heidi. On the other hand, Madonna was doing a promotional tour recently with about 3 months of “growth”. Clearly not an economic issue. Are wide ribbons of black roots now acceptable. Discuss?
Oh Lime23, don’t take it so personally! I just thought it was a little funny that you were so offended by L-Con’s master/sidekick comments. Yeah, well, I’m rubber & you’re glue…
Good to see you again, Tits! Glad to see that I have summoning powers (donde esta B-Side?). I’m hoping that the rips to LagunaConsultant bring out some of the mean in him, and that he watches the next Hills with a chip on his shoulder.
Not sure who asked earlier, but I think that Lauren said that Spencer was “not allowed in the car,” not that “he doesn’t have a car.” Mrs. DonAntonio also wondered aloud about this during the episode, but I think that I heard it right.
Am looking forward to the next episode. Lovedoc, I also noted the new Brody Jenner ‘do. Apparently, he spent New Years Eve experimenting with the part in his hair. And was that a glass diamond martini pendant dangling at the end of Spencer’s fifty pound chain?
As sad as this makes me for knowing this, I have actually seen on one of those horrible Style Network or E! fashion type shows that it is acceptable to be sporting some roots now. And I swear to god their reasoning was because Heidi Klum does it, but something after an inch of roots is just tacky. Sporting roots it the new black! (Pun intended!)
It may be 8am but just knowing that [about the roots] makes me want some libations so I can forget I know something that inane or have ever watch the E! Channel in my life…
Now that Tits is back and providing us with gems such as: ‘He should have taken a note our of Laguna’s book and just bought a piece of poster board and in big bubble letter written “House?”‘, I’m forced to ask, what happened to moodylupin? Où êtes-vous?
All I know is that Whitney and Elodie are enablers. I need to get my roots done badly, but I figure if they can go on TV like that…..then I can go on the subway like that! Roots can wait another week.
Some of these comments make me realize why I always come around here. They’re freakin funny as shit! And I want to read those; so no more grammar gobbledeegook (I have no idea how to spell that. I’m sorry! Step away from the pitchfork.) from this gal. So, I’m offering an olive branch to anyone that I may have annoyed.
Except NYword–You’re still pretty much SPAM to me. Nothing. Vapor.
“Also, twirling Hodi around the store seemed like a torture device.”
–Tits, I totally heard the very beginning of “Crazy Train” in my head when I read this. Duh nuh, duh nuh, duh nuh, ai, ai, ai (all spelled phonetically, of course). Your entire comment is a fine example of the way TVgasm commenting should be–typos or not. Besides, I think a snafu every now and then IS the Tean Vogue way of doing things. And it made for a much more enjoyable hangover.
I’m going to now post this without previewing it first. I don’t care if I have typos or use incorrect grammar. In my heart, I know I’m a good talker.
Dear LagunaConsultant,
While it wasn’t COMPLETELY horrible, I think I have to agree with a few of the other commenters and say that I thought your re-cap was crap. The funniest thing you wrote was the screencap for the Area picture with the sparklers. That’s it. You’re not a very good writer at all – and I agree that TVGASM should at least hire people who have grammar skills… LMAO
Hahahahahahaha. Thank you, Tits. “munchkin fucker” Oh how that made me laugh!
Like OMG! You Grammar Nazis are fucking killing me!
I agree with AC in that I could usually careless about the grammar in the comments (or recaps) with one glaring exception: if you’re going to complain about someone’s use of grammar how about making sure your’s is perfect before posting something bashing Lasultant’s? It does nothing but negate the point you are trying to make about proper grammar usage, and make you look fairly ignorant for bitching about someone else’s grammar with no regards to your own in the same fricken post you are complaining about grammar. Oh, the irony and the hypocrisy!
I’m not saying all you GN’s do, and fair play to those few of you who do use proper grammar, but honestly people can we all just agree that if you want to complain about grammar at least write proper sentences, don’t run-on, and don’t just throw in superfluous punctuation whenever you feel like it? For those not whining like fifth grade teachers about grammar, go wild with dashes and commas and run-on sentences my friends. Go wild.
Ah, nothing like a good rant about the Grammar Gestapo to put the spring in my smack-talk step just in time for March Madness.
Just want to concur with previous posts… I love the name Tits Magee!!
There were a couple of things that I wanted to throw out there before grammar“gate started.
What did you guys think of Ho-di’s statement that she doesn’t drink anymore?
Here’s the link if any of you missed it:
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/celebrity/la-ca-convers4mar04,1,7875078.story?coll=la-celebrity-news
Do you think that she had an epiphany and decided it was time to grow up, or do you think we’re dealing with 8-Bahl the sequel? Could she possibly be lying to save her image since she watches herself on TV with a cocktail in hand every week? Is she attending AA now with the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie? Was alcohol (or other J-Wahl goodies) really that big of a problem for her, or was the lifestyle wearing her down? Is she the only one that’s supposedly sober now? It looked to me like Spencer might have been drinking premium water, while Heidi was indulging in a Martini de jour at their post New Year’s dinner of resentment. How great would a Heidi “intervention” episode be?
I don’t know if we’ll ever know the truth, unless she shaves her head of course, but it definitely got me to thinking.
Dare I say that those complaining about the “GNs” are quite possibly just as annoying than the “GNs” themselves. While I originally made one simple post about his grammar being off, there have been numerous replies and rebuttals, to which I provided my own replies and rebuttals.
In the end, we’re all just as bad as the other guy. My reign as alleged “GN” is complete with this realization. I just think it’s all pretty stupid to keep arguing over someone’s PERSONAL opinion on grammar usage.
Peace!
Damn, I was trying to stay out of all the bickering, but AC sucked me in.
Do you seriously think public schools are “free”? You’ve heard of taxes, yes?
Do the children pay taxes? If so, I had no idea and I went to public school.
Aside from taxes that EVERYONE pays. With that same logic, since we pay for our Internet (most of us), then TVGasm isn’t truly free.
Whatever.
As others have said, you have big shoes to fill but I think it was a respectable first recap Lasultant.
Wow wasn’t sure it was possible but that interview with Hodi made her come across as even more vapid than usual. Spencer must run the same Stepford program Tom usues on Katie.
If you want to bitch about taxes and shit…might I suggest getting off this bad ass site and writing your congressman. If you want to make fun of the pee wee t-ball trophy that danlges from Spencer’s mack daddy chain or the fact that Hodi walks like she has a pole shoved up her ass or the fact that someone as fugly and man like as Lisa Love runs a fashion magazine then by all means please do stay.
BlondeGirl #137 The glare of shame! tut,tut,tut sister-also did you notice that that post was 137 which is almost 138, that made me laugh because of all the IQ talk. But in all seriousness I think that if the grammar isn’t bothering BlondeGirl it shouldn’t bother anyone- seriously I get the emails and im’s I send her back with corrections.
Anyways I kind of thought that it was a sucky episode, but pretty good recap-although I am still bitter about B-side leaving.
Also I am going to jump on the TitsMagee bandwagon-it is an awesome name!
Ahh man using dashes is fun.
Oh for fucks sake. Dude, AC, I wasn’t talking about you as a GN. I reference you because I was agreeing with your statement about having no problem with bad grammar in comments. I was referencing nitwits like NYWord and YouWannaBMe, not you. Chill.
@ Brunette: You notice weird things – 138. WTF? You like the name TitsMagee but whenever I’ve called you that or Boobs McBoobity you glare at me like you want me to drop dead!
I am so chill, you don’t even know.
I’m looking forward to reading LagunaConsultant’s future recaps.
Oh I think you understand the 138 reference BlondeGirl.
Note to self: I am very passionate about highlights/hair when drunk.
This whole GN arguing is hilariously entertaining.
haha…boobs mcboobity!!! I love the sister quarrels
Heidi defenitly still drinks! She’s just trying to say she’s not out doing the hollywood scene so much I’m guessing
I just spent the day with my accountant, filing tax extensions – can we PLEASE not talk about taxes??
I might have to drink again…
L-Con, you should check out the new RW: Denver recap – treadingonme is getting shit too. Ohhhh, I’m glad I’m not doing it….
More booze for me! Yay!
I am about to turn to basketball — why isn’t there a Tvgasm pool this year???
P.S. I think Blondegirl was wisely trying to play that one off, Brunettegirl.
Are you going to let us know when we get to your SAT score? Is it soon?
Doh! I actually like the sisters, so — peace — out. (going wild with dashes)
Gonna stop lurking and start posting. I, too, was so disappointed B-Side left since the only shows I watch were recapped by him. BUT, L-Con stepped right up with very little notice and recapped this crappy show because we were all in HillsRecap withdrawal so all you haters go f@#k yourselves. Probably ain’t got a choice about that anyways. (How’d ya like that grammar??) XOXOXO
@ BayArea: that drunken highlighted hair rant was hilarious by the way. And Mind Erasers, I have to go Google that…
BTW @ L-Con, I always liked your posts and thought you were out here (LA). As far as your recappin’ goes, everyone has to start somewhere. Not that it was bad, but you will find your voice and all will be well in the world of Laguna & LA reality TV recaps again! I believe in ya!
Question I’ve been pondering today as I nurse my hangover – is it that Hills watchers are big drinkers or is it that the Hills drives us to drink big?
carriec I think it is a combination of both.
I think that that the notes for the “salon” scene were my favorite part. I missed the episode because of spring break, but this review was sufficient enough that I feel like I didn’t miss a thing outside of a few ridiculous facial expressions. Thanks.
@ Lime23: I was wondering the same thing about the basketball pool too! I ended up joining up with the jocks at Deadspin with their pool. And thanks, I was trying to play that one off. (Luckily I don’t think she knows my SAT scores, so you won’t be getting that anytime soon!)
@ BlondeGirl: Since I am NOT claiming to be a writer or attempting to write any recaps, I put myself into that pool of people “allowed” to use superfluous dashes and whatnot… I DO reserve the right to complain when someone who “claims” to be a writer can’t even spell the name of a disease they are mocking! Take the time and do some RESEARCH before you write “turrets” for God’s sake. That’s what a REAL writer would do!
I’m not positive but I don’t think Laguna Consultant is a real writer. Just a fan who a lot of people on these boards begged to take over the recaps for B-side. So cut him some freakin’ slack already. He’s doing us a favor!
OMG! Where’s the love peopleeeeeee?!?!
Now I’m scare of even writing, as my grammar complety sucks. I may have to start commenting in Spanish.
So, I haven’t be seen around here … I’m having internet problems and a marathon of tests, so I can only go to TVgasm from the University, where I’m at right now.
LagunaConsultant, congrats! When I saw your name on the recap, I smiled.
I was worried that we were going to loose our LagunaBeach/Hills lingo. At least that safe!
I believe in you, Mr. Consultant.
I’m not that happy to see the retun of NYWord, but hopefully “Emily” will be truly DONE with Tvgasm soon enough. So strict! Still a joykiller! God!
Be more like AC at least.
PS: Where’s jstar?
About the episode (and please, excuse my grammar)
Personally, one of the biggest highlights was seeing Whitney batting. Wow! She hit the ball better than I thought she would (that was a thrill indeed). Maybe she’s an intern for the team too.
It was also interesting to see the enthusiasm of Lauren saying “Go team (clap, clap)” haha, very funny.
Spencer, bahhhhhh! Why does he even mention Lauren when he is with Heidi? Yeah, because I guess that if he didn’t he won’t even be in the show. But why does he always always has to say something? Forget about her, like you want her to forget about you, ass!
And Heidi still questions why LC’s is being so adamant about not liking him and not giving him a chance?
Heidi says that she never told LC that she hated Jason or anything … well, that may be because JaCon didn’t spend half a day talking smack about Heidi to Lauren. Yeah, i know he was stoned. So maybe Spencer should get stoned. Maybe he already is, now that I think about it.
So, now I’m here and no on is here?!? Great.
I’m here, but then again, I’m always here.
Good thing you showed up, I was about to renounce your rookie of the year award.
I’ll just keep commenting for myself as I will promtly leave you guys forcefully (’cause I don’t know the status of the internet problem at my apartment. I haven’t been there)
BlondeGirl #174 — I’m here! haha
I just noticed that what AC dislikes mostl;y about LagunaConsultant is what I like the most: cheesy made up dialogues … ohhh, i love them!
Nice to hear from you Moody!
Fuck it. I can’t help myself. YouWannaBMe: Firstly, I don’t want to be you. Secondly, by whining about the grammar you entered yourself into the category of commenters non-exempt to the it-doesn’t-matter-what-your-grammar-is-like rule if just for the posts in which you bitch about grammar. Maybe it’s just me who finds it all a bit too hypocritical? Not to mention it really distracts from the point trying to be made when the person can’t even be bothered with the rules of grammar themselves. Very do as I say, not as I do.
GrammarGate 2007!
I’m off to go brush up on the rules of grammar in the only book I have that explains [some of] them: The Series of Unfortunate Events: The Wide Window.
Not.
I do think Carriec is right about LagunaCon just being a fan and not a “real” – I assume you mean professional – writer.
I know Mr. Now Master Laguna! I was kind of worried about that, really, with you having more power now than before.
It has got to count for something the fact that I just putted all my test papers to the side so I could check the recap and start commenting to myself … and you.
Haha well said. Unfortunately, I’m only a master in training at the moment. There will be no orders until I’m “made.”
I’m here too. I’m just also watching basketball and pretending I’m writing a term paper. You aren’t just commenting to yourself Moody.
“Made” it all sounds so mob like. Awesome.
regarding the post that said something like, find me one person who went to college and didn’t put on weight from drinking?
that would be the one and only most hated commentator of tvgasm ever, your very own NYWord.
I’m glad to see my comments have inspired some enlightened people to take up my cause. although you know, sidekicks, you won’t be a real master until you piss off Lauren’s mom with only 1 post, like the great and glorious NYWord did when she commenced commenting on B-side’s glaring ommission of a great comment.
(Emily said something in french! Lauren didn’t get it! But then Lauren didn’t go to Paris! Wham bam thank you ma’am, that’s how you make a great recap!)
My one innocous observation has caused 98% of these other commentators (including, to my credit, LC’s mom) to act like I’ve come on here to scandal-monger that Lauren and Heidi are secret crack whores with Aids and 5 kids!
All i did was make a simple critique of MTV producers for being geniuses, and luckily now I have “friends” like AC and Youwannabeme to underscore my ridicule…thanks yall for proving while this website is free, corporations are still advertising on it, which costs money, and if this website was such a shmucky scumbag kinda place where grammar felons can commit atrocious acts of mis-rhetoric–
WHY IS LAUREN’S MOM COMMENTING ON IT?
you all shouldn’t be kissing asses if you like them dirty.
Ohhhh, thanks for the attention BlondeGirl. I’m more of a baseball girl myself. That is why Whitney’s at-bat was so thrilling for me.
I feel like I’m home … disturbing neighbors included.
Go team, clap clap.
LagunaConsultant, although in training, I’m glad there’s still a little sidekick in you. Never lose it.
Now, some stuff I just wrote about the epidode before I erased them accidentally.
Another highlight for me was the “Elodi-whatever-her-name-is’” eye rolling (rolled? roller? rolleration?) But that has been already addressed.
Another highlight would’ve been the “ginger-up-Lo’s-nose/back of the head” moment. I love how MTV always has time to give us this special occasions that will most certainly raise the ratings.
I’m looking forward to Jenn Bunney Jenner’s return next week. It will probably be boring. Nothing would top the “Jenn Bunney Public Service Announcement” in my head. Impossible.
“I just noticed that what AC dislikes mostl;y about LagunaConsultant is what I like the most: cheesy made up dialogues … ohhh, i love them!”
Kisses!
You give yourself wayyyyy too much importance, disturbing neighbor.
Didn’t put on any weight in college at all . . .and I got drunk all the time. That would make two of us then, NYWord.
AC, kisses to you too!
Rub something good on NYWord now that he/she feels so close to you.
Are you talking to me, moodylupin?
Disturbing Neighbor is not you, AC. Of course not.
Make that three of us. I drink quite a bit, but I also run 5-10 miles a day.
NYWord: You ought to be proud of yourself. Surely you have the most over-inflated ego since Napoleon. How does someone get to be so deluded and self-important? Is that something they teach at NYU or are you just a super special egomaniac? Your last post read like some sort of tripped out love letter to yourself. You are a piece of work.
BlondeGirl, that was all that I wanted to say, but couldn’t find the english words to say them … thank you.
I have to go now, I have class in 20 minutes. Love you all, except one, **wink wink**
… and remembering B-Side:
TEAM ASHES!
moodylupin, you’re welcome! Nice to see you back and good luck with class and you internet situation!
Hey all admit it…I gained weight in college. I was a stick when i came into college. An undeveloped stick. A couple summers ago I was drinking every single day. Weeks would go by and I couldnt remember the last time I went a day without drinking. Don’t worry, I’ve got it together now…Im graduating in the fall.
Anyway, gained weight then. Now I have a steady balance of working out and drinking. Im not a fatty anymore. haha
Lo defenitly gained weight in college…she was REALLY small in laguna.
i couldve written a better recap than b-side, but tvgasm would have to pay me a large share of what its advertisers pay it…
laguna consultant, not so much. having all you losers agree with his pandering sycophancy is apparently much more precious than than dignity.
tvgasm just got desperate cause they had to pacify lauren’s mommy. apparently mommy doesnt get mad at anyone who says her baby is fat, but god forbid you say, lauren conrad doesn’t speak french! you are automatically blacklisted as emily the intern in tandem with lisa love.
ok momma-f-ers- if anna wintour is reading this, she’s quite possibly the only person i’d care to have respond, since she’s the only person who could be reading this who could have the bank to shell out for my grammar/style/words.
tvgasm’s average consumer is apparently as white trash in linguistics as he/she is with the whole networking thing.
NYWord- there’s no way you could have written a better recap than B-Side! If you really think that, write a mini recap for the next episode and we’ll see. As for Kconrad, did b-side make fun of lauren and kconrad got mad, im lost?
NYWord:
Aids is a chocolate appetite-suppressing candy.
AIDS is an Auto-Immune Deficiency Syndrome. You may have seen it featured in the media from time to time. Which one were you referring too?
Also, your post was kind of funny. Until I realized you were serious. And seriously, you need help. NYU offers great counseling services to students, you may want to check into it. Maybe you can get your rampant delusions of grandeur, and paranoid tendencies under control – I don’t really think your crazy – just really fucked up.
I’m also guessing you’re not a native of NYC, you just try too hard. Tacky.
NYWord if the recaps aren’t enjoyable for you and you could do better yourself why bother reading them?
althouuuugh, i havta add- i do agree with some of the things you’ve said NYword
“ok momma-f-ers- if anna wintour is reading this, she’s quite possibly the only person i’d care to have respond, since she’s the only person who could be reading this who could have the bank to shell out for my grammar/style/words.”
Aww, NYWord, don’t give yourself so much credit. I could hijack a monkey from the zoo, sit it at my computer and it could churn out “grammar/style/words” as well, if not better, than you do.
White trash in linguistics and networking, eh? This coming from from the person who uses y’all, spells it “yall”, and can’t find a capitalization or apostrophe button to save her life. But, awesome, if I’m the “average TVGasm consumer” (I think you meant reader, sweetie, not consumer) and I assume that you are calling all of us who don’t fall over ourselves over you and your glorious ways the average consumer, I have never been called white trash before! A snob, oh yes all the time, but white trash? That’s a first. I will cherish this memory forever, like the time I first saw a hooker on El Cajon Blvd and started calling everyone I knew.
Wait. I have a wild, and half-drunk idea. Don’t NYWord’s comments eerily remind you of Lindsay Lohan’s drunken Blackberry missives? They have the same self-importance and aversion to too many cohesive thoughts. Are we just being screwed with here? Is this just part of her rehab process?
@ sassybella: No, I don’t think KConrad didn’t get mad at B-Side over anything he said in the recaps or comments. I’ve never heard anything about it. NYWord is simply delusional and/or has some kind of hallucinogenic drug problem.
Crap, I mean I don’t think she did not I don’t think she didn’t. Stupid double negatives…
Will you please hijack a monkey from the zoo BlondeGirl?
About the highlights and roots, hehe- I think Shakira sported wide roots for a while. They might have been trendy for some time ( I thought the trend passed). But I have to agree with BlondeGirl, too much looks tacky.
Oh and that would be 4 of us, or whatever. I actually lost weight when I started college. But that’s probably because I am so aware of the possibility of gaining weight- it works!
I like to use dashes as you can probably tell…
NYWord-
Did you say you’re from NY?
Moodylupin- I used to live in Puerto Rico! Only for two years but I met one of my best friends there. yay lol
Maybe you’ve heard:
B-Side is GONE.
Let’s get over it people! LagunaConsultant stepped up to the plate with a weeks notice, knowing he’s got some big shoes to fill and that it wouldn’t be easy.
cut him some slack!
I personally thought the recap was GREAT!
@ moodylupin #211 I also LOVE Lagunaconsultant made up dialogues.I think they are great. But then again I make up dialogues all the time so…
@ BlondeGirl #234…. LMAO at El Cajon Blvd. reference…
And LaCon, “donkey show” was priceless!
white trash, huh? That’s so random to refer to us as white trash! what the hell? Apparently we’re all now economically, culturally, and educationally bankrupt. Didnt know writing on here would make me class-less suddenly.
“momma-f-ers-” haha! Did u seriously censor yourself. I hate when people do that.
“momma-f-ers”, “yall”. So, I’m curious, is that how sophisticated NYU girls speak?
Let’s make a pact — DO NOT REACT TO, RESPOND TO, OR REFERENCE ANYTHING NYWORD HAS TO SAY — IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. I doubt very much he/she or it is an NYU student. I doubt very much this waste of protoplasm is a resident of NYC. I think it’s a 12 year boy from New Jersey.
By the way — #217— it’s INNOCUOUS….
twit…..not “innocous”…….
I also doubt NYWORD goes to NYU or is an NYC resident, hence my post above.
blueberdie #245 I think that’s a good idea!
oops.. I mean *a* NYC resident .heh
“I doubt very much he/she or it is an NYU student.”
It! Hahaha, that killed me.
Yeah, I do think it’s a good idea blueberdie.
i’m gonna have to go with “an” NYU resident
and i agree. maybe he (i’m guessing he) is a student at a local community college outside of the City in some little podunk burb
but hey, its a free world, NYWord. and it’s the controversy that keeps the comment board fun!
by the way nice comment about the diamond martini pendant donantonio!
i will be anxiously awaiting a sighting of that around Jenn’s neck glinting in the MTV spotlights as she and LC are arguing about brody jenner and who came onto who
wonder if i might even get a diamond (or diamond diamelle) martini pendant myself for my next birthday…..!
I met Kristin tonight….she was looking pretty good. She wanted to make babies with me, but I’m just not ready for a commitment.
http://a557.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/61/l_157506f01d0b9a9ec319e9809e3d3224.jpg
I’ve been watching this from afar from too long. I’m going to teach you guys how to deal with clowns like NYWord.
“I couldve written a better recap than b-side, but tvgasm would have to pay me a large share of what its advertisers pay it…” “ Yeah ok buddy. Regardless of whether or not you can write a good recap, you completely contradicted yourself here. You wouldn’t write a recap unless they paid you, yet you come on here and post your thoughts for free. Doesn’t make sense to me, I smell an ulterior motive.
“laguna consultant, not so much. having all you losers agree with his pandering sycophancy is apparently much more precious than than dignity.” “ Than than dignity huh? When you mock somebody, it’s typically a good idea to make sure you’re not a complete hypocrite first. Also, what is your definition of dignity? I didn’t realize that coming on internet web sites and cutting people down that you don’t know for personal promotion was a telltale sign of dignity. Also, nice work with sycophancy, that’s a very big word for you. I see Microsoft Word keeps updating its thesaurus.
“I’m glad to see my comments have inspired some enlightened people to take up my cause.” “ Could you be any more pathetic? You come on here tooting your own horn and pretending like you don’t care what other people think, but the second somebody backs your crap up, you go out and try and stroke their ego so they’ll continue. The truth of the matter is, you DO care what other people think, and you are just jealous of all the praise people heap on to B-Side, K-Conrad and L-Con. You wish it was you, but since that would never happen, you do the next best thing: Do or say anything in your power that would somehow put the spotlight on yourself. You’re a Spencer Pratt wannabe.
“that would be the one and only most hated commentator of tvgasm ever, your very own NYWord.” “Emily said something in french! Lauren didn’t get it! But then Lauren didn’t go to Paris! Wham bam thank you ma’am, that’s how you make a great recap!” “although you know, sidekicks, you won’t be a real master until you piss off Lauren’s mom with only 1 post, like the great and glorious NYWord did when she commenced commenting on B-side’s glaring ommission of a great comment. ” “ First of all, omission is spelled with one m. Secondly, these things are written for one reason, and one reason only, and that is to stroke your own insecure ego. You wish more than anything that B-Side or L-Con would come on here and try and argue with you, but the thing you don’t realize is that they have NOTHING to prove to you. There is a reason why they write for TVGasm, and you and I are sitting on our computers posting. If you don’t know why that is, look no farther than your own lackluster definition of what would make a good recap. I bet you e-mail TVgasm everyday begging for a recap, with your reasoning being that everyone would read it due to their hatred for you. Once again, could you be any more Spencer like? All you want is for people to know who you are, and you don’t care if it’s for being a douchebag.
Look people, idiots like NYWord come on sites like this, solely with the purpose of stirring some controversy into their own uninteresting lives. A perfect example of this will be their rebuttal to my post; they are going to come on here and say anything that they hope will cause a big pop. I’m sure they’ll probably accuse me of being B-Side, only because they assume Kathy Conrad and LagunaConsultant are far to dumb to write an intricate post. The best way to deal with worthless human beings like this is to ignore them completely. They feed off of anything they read that is directed towards them. Believe me; it pained me to write this, because I know this guy loves that a large post was directed towards them. The only reason I’m even posting this is because someone needed to show ya’ll the way. Trust me, ignore this idiot and they will go away. You’ll see the frustration in their future posts, and no matter what they claim, they will ultimately move on to try and wreak havoc somewhere else. Believe me, your letting this person win when you sink to their level. Pay no attention to NYWord, it will drive them CRAZY.
I think it’s sad you used to be able to get on here and just post. Post to your hearts content. And now due to people pointing out grammar mistakes (on a darn message board) everyone feels the need to follow with a secondary email apologizing for and fixing mistakes….
that doesn’t really look like Kristin…not doubting you kevintheomanharris, but she looks funny.
I’ve been reading this site for a long time & I finally had to say something.
What is wrong with you people?! None of you have ever been to LA, live in LA or know anything about me or anybody I hang out with, that includes the people on The Hills.
Most of you are just jealous that you aren’t on tv or have $$ like some of us out here do. Sorry your 9-5 job sucks, but just cause I don’t have a desk job doesn’t mean I’m not doing something.
If the show filmed us doing actual work, how much would you really want to watch? Exactly!
MTV pays us to cause trouble and stir up drama, and without that show you people would have nothing to talk about.
F.A.Y.
And yes I do have a degree from USC, hence my perfect spelling & grammar. Bitches.
tiffany,
my camera always seems to make the pictures come out a little off. especially with flash on. We could take a picture together, and you could see it for yourself.
No…no…like I said Im not doubting you. She just looks funny, not as pretty as in magazines and on tv??
Was that really Spencer???
Hello Spencer…..it’s me Margaret……
No…no…like I said Im not doubting you. She just looks funny, not as pretty as in magazines and on tv??
Was that really Spencer???
(what does F.A.Y. mean?)
Spencer — is that really you? I kind of think it is, because, although I would have expected more bravado, the level of self-delusion is almost pitch perfect.
Anyway, so you’ve been reading the posts & what you’ve gleaned from all that is that people are criticizing you because they don’t think you’re gainfully employed? Really? Like, if we saw some scenes where you are reviewing fabric samples for the “Team Heidi” t-shirts, or interviewing videographers for your sex tape, then, like we would maybe have some respect, nay, affection for you?
Spencer, Spencer. Let me explain. The problem is not your employment status. The problem is that you are a tool. To be more precise: you are the tooliest tool in all of toolsville. (See, I can say that, because I’m not in LA).
And you can say all you want about what MTV shows & doesn’t show, but MTV didn’t do half the job on you that you did on yourself in that Details article.
That said, I read your posting here as, perhaps, a cry for help. Spencer, it’s not too late for some spiritual regrowth. (Or, in your case, I guess, growth). You need to go back & read that Details article & really contemplate what’s so very, very, very, very wrong about it. This will help you understand why you can’t get into clubs anymore and why women pull their children away when they see you on the street.
Grow a soul, Spencer, before it’s too late.
No…no…like I said Im not doubting you. She just looks funny, not as pretty as in magazines and on tv??
Was that really Spencer???
(what does F.A.Y. mean?)
We’re actually looking into it right now. Don’t be so quick to believe. Remember the supposed Bunney friend¦
If good old Spencer wants to be a doll, he can send an e-mail from an address at one of the companies he works for so we can verify it faster. A yahoo or G-Mail account obviously won’t cut it, since anybody can make one of those. Send it to staff@tvgasm.com… If you want it to go directly to me, just state that in the e-mail and it will be forwarded to my attention immediately.
It’s in his best interest to do this; otherwise we’ll brush the comments off the same way we did with the Bunney friend.
this is in response to no one in particular; if anything it should serve to humanize NYWord for my comrades.
1) I am a girl. I am also a very hot one. One of Mary-kate and Ashley’s friends wanted to date my ex-boyfriend, but no luck for her, as he was also an ex-boyfriend of Leelee Sobieski, and I’m the biggest upgrade a dude can get at NYU.
2) I am born and bred in NYC. 4th generation American to be exact. Descended from Italian and Eastern Europeans, to be more exact. Exactly, I am descended from Mark Antony and Cleopatra on my Daddy’s side, and the Austrian Hapsburg dynasty on my Mommy’s side (everyone Austrian is though, as my linguistics professor informed us last semester.) In short, I am really really good looking.
3) One of the reasons I don’t spellcheck my comments (other than this is a comment section, not an actual recap, being the most obvious) is that I was hit by a car while crossing the street and since then the head trauma has resulted in some minor dyslexia. there’s a huge difference between NYWord slipping up with the keyboard on her comments and LagCon not even knowing there’s a difference between “you’re”, “your”, “too” and “to.” Those are the kind of grammar errors that mess up a recap for a reader with half a brain.
4) If that really is Spencer posting, he’s right about the majority of you. Most of you are just haters and it goes without saying that if you weren’t fat, ugly, broke, and educated you wouldnt be full of such vitriol towards anyone. The Hills is a TV show for entertainment purposes. It’s not Dateline’s To Catch A Predator. You people must be the same people who watch Super Sweet 16s and think, OHMIGOD I WANT MY PARTY TO BE BETTER! or OHMIGOD I CANT BELIEVE THOSE PEOPLE ACT LIKE THAT!
Spencer, Heidi, Lauren, Brody, etc. are just people living the lives they were born into. MTV is “exposing” their lives because if MTV only played music videos, everyone would tune out. I have known people like the Hills cast at NYU; like I said, I dated someone from LA who is part of that crowd. From my personal experience I know YOU CANT TAKE THESE PEOPLE SERIOUSLY.
Most of the people jumping down my throat and copying and pasting everything I write so they can make their inane 3rd grader observations are seriously twisted. You’re watching this show thinking you’re better than the Hills people and you can make all these judgments about them, but youre as wrong about them as you are about me. You’re missing the point of this show and spoiling all the fun of watching it and commenting with other people who are watching it for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
Even Laguna Consultant’s name betrays his arrogance, which is probably why the author is listed as “Guest Columnist”. TvGasm is too embarrassed to actually give this glorified groupie any real writer recognition. Ever heard of building someone up just to tear them down? That’s NOT what the Hills (cum MTV) is doing with Lauren et al. It IS what TvGasm is doing to LagCon
Spencer, have the last laugh please.
OMG! This board is INSANITY. I don’t even know where to begin.
As I said, I’m over the grammar bs, so I’ll be over it.
If NYWord really bothers you so much, just ignore him/her. I think she’s funny. She doesn’t offend/bother me at all. I gravitate towards irreverence and people who speak their mind . . .and more importantly, I also don’t take this message board too seriously. It’s fun.
SPENCER . . .my GOD! You are almost as delusional as your Princess Heidi! We do not have a problem with your “profession,” whatever that may be. Is your profession to be an insecure, manipulative, lying asshole? If so, HELL YES I have a problem with your chosen profession. You’re a TV personality. What in the hell did you expect? Did you expect all of us to fall in love with you? People, in real life and in Hollywood, will judge you. Not everyone will like you . . .this is a part of life that most non-delusional human beings understand. Why don’t you? Deal with it. This is the life you chose. I like how you made NO comment about your character or anything else we criticize you about on here, but you went straight to us working in our office and you having a “real” life? WOW!
I have my doubts already. Main reason being that Spencer lives on the West Coast, and those comments were made at 5:40am PST. I guess there’s a remote possibly that he was out doing coke the entire night, and then he got home and decided to post, because sleep was out of the question after all the cocaine. Other than that, someone who doesn’t have a real job probably wouldn’t be up at quarter of six posting on TV blogs. We’ll see if he responds, but I suspect he won’t.
that wasn’t Spencer, it was one of the idiots in my office pretending to be him because he thinks it’s funny.
for some reason he actually likes the guy…but if you knew him then you’d probably see why…they are carbon copies of each other.
the only difference is he doesn’t go around trying to beat up his girlfriend’s coworkers when they make comments about how she dresses.
Correct me if I’m wrong Spencer, but FAY= FUCK ALL YA.
Wow. After you read NYWord’s post, go back and re-read comment 253
That person has you PEGGED.
Okay, I don’t want to give this person any more attention than she deserves but did anyone notice that NYWord says that she’s decended from Mark Anthony and Cleopatra on her daddy’s side??? Hilarious!!!
An obsessed Spencer fan? Um, okay.
Is there, perhaps, someone in your office pretending to be NYWord, too?
Actually, I agree with AC, NYWord is actually getting kind of funny. I’d almost read a NYWord recap at this point.
This, for example, is hilarious:
“Descended from Italian and Eastern Europeans, to be more exact. Exactly, I am descended from Mark Antony and Cleopatra on my Daddy’s side, and the Austrian Hapsburg dynasty on my Mommy’s side (everyone Austrian is though, as my linguistics professor informed us last semester.) In short, I am really really good looking.”
Whattt??!? What kind of brain produces such prose? There are so many things crazy about this, I don’t know where to begin. This had me in a fit of giggles. There needs to be a brain scan, stat.
And I also appreciate the history (or linguistics?) lesson. Are you saying you are the product of massive Austrian inter-breeding?
Comment #253 IS dead on. NYWord, I don’t believe a word you say. You’re a fake. People who are as confident in themselves as you try to make yourself sound don’t have to write 2 paragraphs describing how hot they are. Idiot.
Thanks NYWord
Lime,
Personally, I liked the part about the supposed car accident being the reason that she makes an occasional typo. Next thing you know, she’ll be claiming to be half cyborg and have AI
LOL!
Yeah, and somehow getting hit by a car is also an excuse not to use spellcheck.
Who thinks we should introduce NYWord to resident TVGasm Hater The Svan?
I do! Where is The Svan anyway?
MissKatrina,
Who’s the Svan? I must not read the recaps they post on, because I’ve never heard of him/her.
I must say, the Svan is a very intimidating sounding handle. They are not just Svan, but THE Svan. Do they have famous lineage as well? Maybe their great granddaddy was Joseph Stalin.
What recaps do they usually post on, I’m kind of interested in seeing their handy work now.
L-Con, “The Svan” is a hater who refers to him…her…itself in the third person, just like Spencer. I’ve only seen a few random posts but they’re generally annoying and attention-seeking, just like Cleopatra Hapsburg up there.
By the way, from a genetic perspective, I don’t know that I’d be proud of that lineage. Most European monarchies were crazy inbred, as were the Egyptians. “Mommaf*ckers” may be a more appropriate moniker for her prized ancestors than us lowly commenters.
While we’re on the subject of fictional family trees, I am descended from Chuck Norris and WonderWoman.
OMG… Thank you MissKatrina for the Cleopatra Hapsburg comment! LOVES IT!!!!
ROTFLMAO! So NYWord is a half-wit. How did we miss that? It seems so obvious in retrospect.
I don’t think that’s SpenceWhore – He is too much of a p*ssy to take us on. He practically pisses his pants and cries every time HeidiHo makes him spend time with Lauren.
Yes, there are many elements of comedy gold in NYWord’s “hotness diatribe” — but the whole lineage and “Q.E.D. I am hot” was just particularly funny for me.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/02/070215-cleopatra.html
http://www.hapsburg.com/home.htm
Is this what you look like NYWord?
Wait, wait, I am getting a visual image.
RE: my professor (the head of the linguistics department at NYU) informed my class last semester that anyone from Austria is descended from the Hapsburg family because during the 15th century the king would have sex with with every bride on her wedding night (remember Braveheart? same deal). so today everyone in Austria resembles each other. Maybe all the European royalty got crazy from in-breeding, but breeding with the locals was a great way genetically to preserve that spicy royal DNA.
As for being descended from Cleo and Marc A., check wikepedia for the fast reference. Their only daughter survived and had heirs. Augustus had her marry a North African prince and thus my Daddy is the whitest looking black guy ever, or the blackest looking white guy. Technically the Ptolemy line didn’t die out, nor did the Caesar lineage, due to the fact that Marc A. was a relative of J.C.
i love how laguna consultant jumps all over my heritage, but he has nothing to say about the fact that he’s just “Guest Columnist.” Treadingonme didn’t warrant that same honor for RW, did he? Maybe cause TVGASM takes him seriously for his literary talents, whereas with you, keep on kicking up the dirt in the sandbox, groupie.
EVERYBODY should go back to B-side’s VERY FIRST laguna recap.. I think it’s from season 1? seriously, go read it. it’s nowhere near as funny as last weeks hills recap, or any of his other recent works. He had to build up to it, gain inside jokes with us, you know.. that kind of thing. So I have faith in Laguna Consultant, that maybe once he “finds his pace” he can have all of us peeing in our pants. (from laughter)
Just because I’m in a giving mood…
If you have read the site for a while you would realize that most people’s first column is listed as “guest columnist.”
Example: O.Snapp
My name will be posted next week.
I have a wild idea.
Since we all think you are lying sack of crap, why don’t you post the link to your NYU facebook page.
If you appear to be telling the truth, I promise to not mock you any more, and I’ll even mention you in an upcoming recap as a “genius.” Just make sure you mention somewhere in it that you are “NYWord” for verification purposes.
Sounds like a fair deal to me.
The Svan is the original fuck-weasel.
NYWord has become tiresome, he needs to up his dosage of Dilantin. I usually try to have sympathy for crazy people, but just because you’re nuts doesn’t mean you can’t be an asshole.
So NYWord is a just a crazy asshole. He probably lives in the subway tunnels and eats his own shit. Either that or Bellevue Psych.
So I just re-read the recap and I have to say that it really was a fair job for a first time. Unfortunately, I can’t add any facts since MTV Canada is a full month behind on the shows (I read the recaps anyway because they’re almost as entertaining as the show, if not more so). Anyway, just thought I’d give a little constructive criticism. I agree with the people who didn’t enjoy the list idea. I also thought that you could just’ve skipped that scene alltogether if you weren’t sure how to make it entertaining. That being said, I thought that you did a great job with the captioning. I LOVED the cocker spaniel thing and thought that the captions fit the faces they were making on those screenshots perfectly.
Anyway, I think that you did a fine job for a first time recap and I’m sure that it’ll just get better as you start finding your own voice and inside jokes. Honestly, I think you have the hardest job right now during the transition since people are used to b-side and will invariably compare and judge you as being either too similar (in which case they would say that you’re copying) or too different. Hang in there and I’ll be looking forward to read you next week!
I don’t … no words … this is fucking insane!
NYWord has gone from unintentionally funny to plain disturbing. I’m starting to get a headache from all of their demented logic: everybody from Austria is related because the king fornicated with all brides on their wedding night, accident on-set dyslexia … yeah, okay.
I’m with Chee-Z, this has gotten tiresome.
Sure, NYWord. That’s a fantastic way to preserve said spicy (?) royal DNA; however, from the population genetics perspective it’s still a bad idea. I’ll halt my science nerd rant there and spare you the recombination and MHC crap.
Well this may be a good time to thank everyone again for all the nice compliments. Considering I called a reader a lying sack of crap in my last post, I figured a little thank you was in order for all the sane readers.
So basically if you’re not a descendent of the queen of Egypt, thanks for reading.
“my professor (the head of the linguistics department at NYU) informed my class last semester that anyone from Austria is descended from the Hapsburg family ”
I guess that doesn’t make you very special then, does it bitch?
“and thus my Daddy is the whitest looking black guy ever”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Oh my GOD you are stupid.
NYWord- I think you need to date Spencer. You seem like a vagina worthy of that douche.
Long time reader, first time poster.
Laguna C, not bad for a first time recap, good job!!! It’s one thing to say you can write a recap, and another thing to actually put in the grunt work to do it, so good for you!
I’ve been on tvgasm for the past two years now, and I always read the comments afterwards, and I love how there is this loyalty to the recapper who’s going taking the time out to do a service for the rest of us. Loyalty like that is something Spencer might not understand nor will he ever have with his douchebag ways.
For those of you people who say they can write a better recap *cough* NYWord *cough* I say put your money where your mouth is and challenge L-Con to a recap contest. The rest of us “white trash” will vote the winner.
what a great idea laguna consultant! you play yourself on national internet, and i mock you for it cause it’s public, so i should, by the law of tvgasm karma, expose my personal site (if, let’s say, i even have one) to you for free??
facebook is private, cause you have to be on a network to be in it (and if you don’t have a network and make up one, you really stick out like a sore non belonging thumb). if i expose myself to the magnificent tvgasm community, i would thereby betray my friends, my network, my identity! i would be essentially, you.
so how about you just obsess over my superior literary skills. “that’s why I go to NYU.” that’s why you are preseumably toiling away for the sake of tvgasm’s advertisers and the people, i’m sorry–your lingua franc—masters, who got you this position.
and in my humble opinion, the people who purged b-side, with no explanation and little fanfare.
in case you can’t tell, when i said i was italian…i seem to remember a comment you made awhile back in this overdrawn recap comment section that you wish to be “made”.
yeah don’t you wish you came equipped with that Word, blogging gangsta???
anna wintour, what a coincidence, said in page six today, she hates the word blog, hates the idea of blogging.
probably cause devils like you are all she’s had to read, seeing as what passes as even recapping in these early internet years…
i know! tell mrs conrad to call me and i’ll tell her my facebook page! if i even have one! if i even give a fuck about talking to some california ho about how hot i am!
Lime23-please accept my sincere apology-I included you in a rant that came out of pure annoyance caused by a certain other poster. I must say I enjoyed your last couple of posts, and I jumped on your earlier one too quickly. I’m sure you don’t care what I think of you, but I just felt bad I included you in the same breath as that other poster.
That being said, NYWord, with your last post you have now become the bully everyone on the playground is laughing at because they just realized he/she is nothing more than a sad, immature, lonely crybaby who is seeking attention and can only get it at the expense of others. I often find the people who toot their own horn the most only do so because they have to, as in they do not receive the attention they crave from other people.
Sorry Cheez-E & everyone else, guess I got sucked in to the drama.
What superior literary skills?
I just have to ask NYWORD a question:
NYWWORD- If you were born and raised in NYC why do you say “yall”? I think you gave yourself away.
Also, proclaiming one’s hotness on the internet is generally a sign of insecurity.
lovedoctor- lol. I have forgotten how to write. But I was thinking *a* because it would be “a New York City resident” not “an New York City resident”, but then maybe it is *an* NYC resident. aaahh!!! I’m so embarrassed; I forgot my grammar. <– p.s. Is the semicolon used correctly in that sentence?
P.S. Is the semicolon used correctly in the sentence above?^
NYWORD, talking so highly of yourself online is not only showing your an ugly person at heart but stuck up and insecure.
I have horrible grammer, and if you can’t read it, whatever, i’m not ashamed that i don’t re-read what i write bc i am no english major, and i’m sure others agree that they feel pressured to be perfect how they write or else they won’t post.
So i am going to continue LOVING tvgasm and esp. lagunaconsultant, bc he did a great job for a first timer, and p.s. i’m for the idea on a recap-off if you think your so superior.
I can’t believe none of you guys have mentioned the fact that if NYWORD(cockslap)is actually a descendant of the Hapsburg “Dynasty” S/him(NO WAY do I believe that this person is fully female or attractive in any way…)probably has a receding chin which is a sign of serious in-breeding…that’s kissing cousins people! After Phillip II, that blood line got prettttttyy muckled if you know what I mean…But I digress. Lasultant, I really enjoyed your recap and feel that it can only improve from here. Bravo I say and for now, I bid you farewell as I watch the snow swirl by my windows…
Well, after reading all this depressing rants …
TEAM ASHES!!!
I do have 2 question:
What’s with the K Conrad fixation? and What does it takes to get a (“insert word here”) block from this page?
@ siked!!: I don’t think anybody mentioned that because I think we all pretty much regard her as a joke and don’t take what she says very seriously. I know I do at least.
Something I’ve been pondering: why the odd reverence towards NYU, NYWord? It’s not exactly the greatest school in the world, or even a UCLA or UCSD or University of Minnesota Twin Cities.
The best post in this whole recap has been BayArea’s #162 …
Now, that’s TVGasm and that’s why I come here.
Go Team, clap clap.
wow, over 300 posts for a first time recapper. awesome.
true, is mostly due to the babblings of a douchebag (nyword). but then, another douchebag (spencer) was the main reason behind the previous record.
tvgasm + douchebags = gold!
by the way, b-side wasn’t “purged.” he sold a script (to mcg’s production company?) and got signed by endeavor. try to keep up.
and isn’t nyu a safety school for people who didn’t get into brown?
moodylupin- thanks!! I have a beer bong appt at 6 after the gym…maybe later Ill give a drunken rant.
Anyway…did this NYWord character seriously make an Im beautiful announcement. I cant stop laughing. Name dropping on tvgasm. That’s fucking weird. This person is just weird. I cant ever imagine coming on here and being like…”hey Im sexy…5’2…110…ashley olsen wanted to date my ex boyfriend…I decend from pamela anderson and I like long walks on the beach…ect”
What has this board come to?
I was just watching E!News and they showed an interview with Brody Jenner where he says he can’t stand dating girls that are just using him to get famous. Vomiting now.
I echo D-Bag’s comments. Over 300 for a TVgasm debut is a huge record. Congrats, LagunaConsultant!
Now, time for some Don Antonio’s!
ah porcelain,
i was beginning to think nobody (except one special and exceptionally clever commenter, you know who you are!) ever read my comments!
i’d say at least 75% of the fun is just doing the posting but there is definite fun gained from hearing responses! (isnt that why we all post?!)
still astounds me that there is so much emphasis on grammar and attacking each other, while nobody seems to think it worthwhile to make continued mockery of such easy Hills targets as Spencer’s gi-normous pendant
more importantly, i do think you used the semicolon properly. you could have also ended the sentence there and then started a new one, or you of course could have used the dash between phrases!
I am indeed a grammar freak as i was forced in high school to be subjected to four years of incessant quizzing from warriner’s grammar book – nonetheless, the grammar errors and misspellings on the post board don’t bug me at all since it’s not like we’re publishing legal documents, just essentially “talking” in written form
B side,
welcome! how does it feel to be on the “other side?”
what did the brits think of the hills?
B-Side! I’m embracing my laptop. Welcome home. Please tell me that you’re back on the boards to announce your triumphant RETURN to TVgasm? And how is J-Unit?
…people, I realize that it’s Friday night (and snowing back East, from what I hear), but B-Side posted! WHERE IS THE LOVE?! EMBRACE HIM BEFORE HE GETS AWAY AGAIN!! CUT OFF ALL EXITS!!
Ah, phooey. It seems that I’m the only one at this party. Well, I miss you, B-Side.
“still astounds me that there is so much emphasis on grammar and attacking each other, while nobody seems to think it worthwhile to make continued mockery of such easy Hills targets as Spencer’s gi-normous pendant”
You know, I just finished writing up a publicity proposal (for a class) where I paid less attention to grammar than I’ve started to do on my posts here. That’s fucked up.
Anyway, how about Spencer’s ridiculous “Don’t be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood”-esque necklace? Dose he just like big things around his neck? I mean, look at the rather large tie knot he was rocking this episode too.
lovedoctor- I was genuinely asking if my use of the semicolon was correct. Thanks for the answer! But I see it could have been taken as sarcasm.
What I’m I thinking, we are on TVGASM! But it’s all good lovedoctor.
I am kind of tired of all this grammar talk. I hope “Spencer” posts again.
B-Side! Did you shake the curse of Don Antonio’s on the other side of the Atlantic?
@ lovedoctor again- or maybe you didn’t take my question as sarcasm?
Hi B-Side!
I didn’t really hear any of the Brits talking about The Hills. However, on the flight back, two of the Virgin Atlantic flight attendants were quite the big fans. She was way behind in the season. I told her that about seven episodes in, there was going to be an episode that would drive her nuts. Amusingly, she said to me, “That Spencer is such a prat!” I asked what she meant by that, and she said “prat” means “prick” in British English. She was quite delighted when I informed her that Spencer’s actual last name is “Pratt.”
porcelain,
definitely didn’t think you were being sarcastic. i figured you were teasing or just making light of all the grammar talk. i always appreciate a sense of humor!
B side,
Virgin Atlantic? nice! hope you took advantage of the on flight massages.
SO amusing about the alternate meaning of “prat!” can’t remember heidi’s last name but i wonder if it translates into british-speak as “vapid girl who falls for a prat”
Just as long as the flight attendant didn’t call him a tool while you were flying into LA air space…
For no good reason, I just googled “prat,” and got the following: “English term, primarily used in United Kingdom. The literal meaning is ‘bottom’ or ‘rump’; aka backside, buttocks, sacrum, tail end. This lends itself to the slang meaning of ‘ass,’ or ‘clueless person of arrogant stupidity.’”
Not sure why the flight attendant told you prick when the ‘net says ass, but given that Spencer Pratt is both a prick and an ass, why argue?
One more thing…
In one of the scenes where Spencer and Heidi checked in at the restaurant (I believe that there were two such scenes in this episode), Spencer was wearing some kind of t-shirt with a blazer and that subtle chain of his. Was it me, or did he have the collar of his blazer flipped UP? Very Miami Vice…
Heidi’s last name is Montag, which is a German word for Monday.
Just thought I’d throw that in.
woooo hi bside!
lasultant–great first time, you made us laugh.
just got back from dinner at don antonios. it was, without a doubt, life-changing.
d-bag, yep i agree everyone i know who went to nyu didnt get into the ivy league. haha
I watched the Wedding Planner with Matthew McConaughey in it today… and who ever said Spencer tries to sound like him is right on. I definitely saw it, and not just in the tone of voice but in the entire movement of his head and facial expression when he says he says certain things. haha
In the picture of “Cocker Spaniel Lo… Cocker Spaniel” what is Lauren eating? I am sure it is not this, but it looks like a weird worm with little antennas.
@ DonAntonio (#325): No, I noticed the flipped up collar too.
@ porcelain (#329): My guess would be an edamame bean maybe, but I like the idea of a worm or caterpillar with tiny antennae so much better.
me thinks spencer wears that fat, ugly pendant to take attention away from his fat, ugly head. brody employs the same logic whenever he hangs out with spencer.
and “prat” means “ass/prick”? love. that.
seeing that people’s last names are often tied to the profession of their ancestors (smith, baker, etc..), i guess we now know that douchebaggery is hereditary.
Thanks B-Side, good to see your doing well over there. I can’t even imagine how many comments there would be, if we actually talked about the episode as much as my grammatical shortcomings. Now that I have the approval of B-Side, that only leaves my mom. Unfortunately, she’s been too busy to read my article, because she’s been mourning the death of her great, great, great, great-granddaddy Patrick. We’re going to have a boiled dinner tonight to commemorate his honor. My dad’s ancestors, Mark Antony and Cleopatra, must be rolling in their graves.
Speaking of Saint Patrick’s Day¦ I know we all like to drink in here¦ Heavily¦ So make sure to be careful tonight. We don’t want any of our fellow board members ending up in the can. If something does happen, I’ll throw a 20 in for bail.
P.S. Siked, I definitely know where you’re coming from with the snow swirls out your window. We had no power here in southern Massachusetts almost all night.
Blondegirl- lol me too.
Drunken posts to come in the AM?
Lasultant…the snow was awful…I was afraid it was going to keep me from being a true Irish girl tonight…I’m in RI and while it’s the land of garvone Italians (no disrespect, many are extremely hot) I plan on drinking like a ninja this evening and doing a drunken snow angel…I hope you’ll do the same. Slainte!
“Drunken posts to come in the AM?”
One can only hope. I’ll be watching from the sidelines today though – not mainlining booze today.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Wanted to chime in with a few things…
Laguna Consultant-props on your first recap, keep it up, we love ya!
Miss Katrina-your posts crack me up, keep them coming! (I can’t remember exactly what you wrote, it all blends together after a while, but still, I remember enjoying them.)
Shout out to the 6-1-9! I love the suggestions for restaurants, maybe sometime I’ll get to try them out…
Off to celebrate St. Paddy…
Hey douche bag (Spencer), nobody dislikes likes you because of how you may or may not make a living. People generally dislike you because you are an asshole.
Lasultant,
Thank you for stepping up to the plate with your recap. I enjoyed it. I edited your recap during my lunch break today, and I am posting my recap of the first two scenes below. Let me know what you think.
If you’d like to read more of it, post a reply, and I’ll post the rest. I won’t mind hearing what the rest of the board thinks either. Let me know!
BonaFide
So, like Heidi, I have made that incredible journey from Sidekick to Master, but I promise to never pull a Heidi and forget where I came from. I was once one of you. I would like to thank the legendary Roz for her pioneering efforts in paving the way for me to rise from mere Sidekick to Master. I’ll tell you: it feels great up here.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get down to business. This week starts in typical fashion with Lauren quickly going over the events of last week. She reminds us all of how Heidi had ditched her for Spencer the week before and informs us that she is adjusting to life without Heidi and growing closer to Audrina. Bad news for the ˜Lauren & Heidi Day’ Parade Committee! Cut to a scene where Lauren is out shopping with Audrina. Lauren gasps, “OMG! This is 75% off!” which proves to me that wealthy people bargain-shop too. I’ve always wondered. We then find out that we would be seeing some old friends from Laguna for New Year’s, namely Natania and Lo. We also find out that Jen is a BF-stealer. Not boyfriend-stealer. We already knew THAT, but best friend-stealer. Apparently, Jen was the reason why Lo and Lauren didn’t speak to each other for SIX YEARS. Audrina asks about Heidi and Spencer (rhetorically, I presume), “Are they coming in the limo?” There was a millisecond-pause during which it seemed Lauren was trying to guage if Audrina was kidding or not. She finally scoffed, “Spencer’s not allowed in the car!” Audrina, mad at herself for even asking started repeating, “I KNOW! I KNOW!” She then pulled out a pen and notepad and scribbled, “LAUREN NO LIKE SPENCER!” before pounding herself on the head while muttering, “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
Cut to the opening credits after which we head out to a baseball park where Audrina and Lauren are cheering for Whitney from the stands. After the game, Whitney joins the girls in the stands, and (after a prompt from the producers) they start to reminisce about New Year’s past. Whitney then reveals to us that she “kissed like 3 guys on New Year’s last year. It was the sluttiest moment of my life!” So we find out two new things about Whitney this week: she plays baseball but she prefers tonsil hockey. Poor Whitney! I am sure that either Audrina or Lauren is about to tell a New Year’s story that’ll raise the bar a couple of notches, but the best LC can come up with is “I’m just going to grab somebody that’s next to me. I did that two years ago.” Wonderful! Note to self: book plane ticket for L.A. next New Year’s.
@NYWord (#265) Ya know, I giggled a little at your distaste for people’s grammar (I am an editor in LA)and yes, you were a bit of an ass and that was okay, but the myriad of examples of why you are so beautiful was too much! Do you think anyone on here cares? Besides that, we all know that anyone who loves to tear others down is as ugly as they come. One of the Olsen twins’ friends wanted to date your ex?? Who fuckin’ cares? You are pathetic girl. Really pathetic.
Later, bitch!
Ok, that’s a random recap audition idea.
BonaFide-
“Lauren gasps, “OMG! This is 75% off!” which proves to me that wealthy people bargain-shop too. I’ve always wondered.”
I felt kind of happy inside to know Lauren bargain shops.
“She then pulled out a pen and notepad and scribbled, “LAUREN NO LIKE SPENCER!…”
hahaha!
Overall I liked it.So this is Laguna Consultant’s recap with a few new additions and editing. Maybe you and L-Con should work together!
Ya know it’s one thing to have a crap load of comments after a new guy recaps a show.
It’s a completely different thing when 50% of the comments have nothing to do with the show, but instead have you all talking shit to each other about grammar and sentence structure.
I’m assuming none of you are tenured professors at some liberal arts college in New England. So who gives a f**k!
Okay, now I know this isn’t the ACTUAL Spencer . . .what does he know about tenured professors, liberal arts colleges, New England, percentages, grammar, sentence structure, any website besides MySpace or even how to type?
In other news, excited about the show tonight! YAY!
Bonafide, I really liked your edit of Laguna Consultant’s recap. I’d be interested in reading the whole thing. And I second the nomination that the two of you collaborate on this venture!
Can’t wait for tonight’s show. Is it going to be a two-fer?
A few thoughts on tonight’s ep.:
1. I love how Lauren compares people and relationships to clothing (from the infamous “men are like purses” to tonight’s “a good roommate is like a good pair of jeans.”) Deep.
2. Heidi is SUCH a hypocrite, but it’s truly entertaining to see her play angel in the Jen Bunney sitch. Yeah, Heidi, like the cameras didn’t capture you enabling Jen to hook up w/ Brody…
…and later, at the birthday party:
3. Hilarious how enthused Spencer looked yelling “Surprise!” He must have been on a Don Antonio-induced high…
4. Party foul, Brody. Apparently you didn’t read The Commandments: thou shalt not mention the Bunney!!!
5. Awkward toast, Spence. We all could’ve done without it.
…the next day, at brunch:
6. Really, another Jen Bunney reference, Brody? I think you’re gunning for a threesome. I’m onto you!
…and finally, the showdown:
7. All Jen had to say to defend herself is that Heidi egged her on to hook up with Brody. I’ll never get those minutes of my life back…thanks guys.
8. I love how the majority of episodes this season end with Lauren yelling at someone on the couch for being shady/a sucky person. Love it!
Oooh Hills cram session is on now! Yesssss
I loved when Brody referred to Spencer as “a big toaster.” I know he meant one thing, but I couldn’t help feeling like Spencer looked like a giant toaster oven. Also, “toaster” kind of sounds like pejorative slang like “hoser” or “douche.” I agree, Spencer is a definite toaster.
lol B-Side, once again you make something I didn’t catch really funny.
I very much like it that you comment; it makes the pain of you leaving not so bad =) hehe. And like someone else said, you really do care.
I think I will save my comments for the show until the next recap.
i have to agree with the several who said it as well…this recap was lacking. and i am a writer too; i’m not some dumb high school kid.
when i watch this show, i think, and frequently, “i know be-side’s going to say something about that” (for example,the face the camera caught that girl making after the surprise…anyone see that?) and i’m usually right.
this just didn’t do it for me.
ahhhh. insomnia is a bitch. finally got to my tivo’d ep. someone save me from craiglist’s casual encounters. i almost took a pic of my twig and berries.
okay, can we talk? what the fuck is up with lauren and that whole pointing thing. it’s maybe 50 percent cute the the first time, not so much after she moved on to the busboys. i think i even saw a misdirected point towards spencer, though his noggin could have been a bystander to a stray lauren pistol finger.
and there was another appearance of lauren’s baby voice. “no jenn bunney.” so a banner episode all around, kids.
i’ll post more when the recap goes up. lots of good material with this one.
The thing that really struck me during the JennJenner/Lauren confrontation, was how utterly stupid JennJenner is.
She really doesn’t get it does she? I loved the whole scoop on Jason and Lo too. I’m downgrading the “Jenn” cocktail from Campari and Orange Juice to a Screwdriver – she just isn’t that interesting. Still orange though.
Heidi actually works? Who knew. Again, very funny eye-roll from Elodie when SpenceWhore was on the phone.
Can’t wait for the recap L-Con!!!!
I’m just proofing it for grammar mistakes quickly, and it should be posted sooner than later.
Ok, OK, pacing, pacing “ I am going to hold my comment until the recap is posted “ pacing, pacing.
Chop, chop, Lasultant!! You’ve had “ what “ over 12 hours now?
Sleep? Sleep, you say. Don’t bother us with such trifling concerns.
We don’t ask much.
We expect it to be as funny as B-Side’s,
But it better not sound like you’re copying B-Side;
We expect you to keep up on all the old running gags,
And yet to be entirely original,
We expect you to use cheesy made-up dialogue,
And yet not,
We expect a recap of everything that happened (with nary a list in sight),
And yet not,
We expect unimpeachable grammar that would make Strunk & White proud,
not a semi-colon out of place, nor a disease misspelled;
and there will be hell to pay (HELL TO PAY) if a participle is dangling or an infinitive is split;
We expect there to be hilarious screen caps and for you to somehow figure out how to make a graphic image of Spencer’s head in the shape of a toaster,
And, finally, we expect it to be ready yesterday.
Come to think of it, Lasultant “ my hat off to you for taking all this on with such cheery aplomb. (But don’t ever call me sidekick!)
Love & kisses,
Lime23
I thought Lauren came across as the stupid one in this episode. Clearly she’s being played by Heidi, Spencer and Brody. A few shows ago Heidi was asking Jen Bunnie to hang out with her now she doesn’t have time for her. Heidi egged on the Brody hookup now it’s none of her business.
Spencer gives the birthday toast? WTF!
Lauren tells Brody it’s not his fault it’s all on Jenn Bunnie? Double WTF!
These people are playing Lauren, she’s their meal ticket and she doesn’t appear smart enough to do anything about it.
I’ve never felt compelled to post before, but after B-Side’s devastating departure (work is hardly tolerable on Tuesdays without him) and L.C.’s first recap, suddenly I’m moved. I know no one could ever (EVER!!) replace B-Side, but I’m sad to say I never LOL’ed even ONE TIME reading L.C.’s recap. Nice first try, but…maybe today’s will be better??
I DID, on the other hand, chuckle at BonaFide’s revised recap. “She then pulled out a pen and notepad and scribbled, “LAUREN NO LIKE SPENCER!” before pounding herself on the head while muttering, “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” CRACKED ME UP!!!
If you watch The Hills Aftershow, Lauren says that Spencer’s toast was lame and yet another way to hog the spotlight. I don’t think Lauren took the toast as sincere, so that’s good.
“Don’t worry Lauren. Cocker spaniel.”
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
I think that was the funniest thing I have read ever!!! Well, at least since LB season 3′s Cami.
(memememememe) Great job, L Con! Luv ya!
I’m still concerned about Lo’s crazy hair. I think it made an appearance at the bday party, looking like the fin of a shark as the telltale sign jutted out from a perpetual sea of bleach-blonde drunks.
I MUST have the name of her stylist.
Strong recap, and I just noticed that you posted last night’s, too (I’m pumped about reading that since I’m studying abroad and MTV.com let’s me know that watching the Hills in Ireland is violating copyright laws–but MTV UK just picked up this season of the Hills…we’re only on week 3 though), but first I just wanted to say I’ve enjoyed your comments for a while, and having a seasoned veteran who can carry on jokes makes the loss of B-Side much easier. I can’t wait to watch your style develop further since it’s already pretty great.
If Heidi moves out, who gets custody over Ashes?
P.S. I barely noticed your grammar/spelling mistakes; so they don’t take away too much for me–and I am the one who used to yell to her roommates to please check out page four paragraph three of J Unit’s Heroes recap and basically cry over the glaring mistakes.