Recap: Surreal Life: Who Has More Hookers?

You may or may not have noticed that there was a delay in getting out the recap for The Surreal Life Fame Games this week. The reason for that is that I spent this weekend at my very first Mardi Gras. I personally feel like being allowed to have open alcohol in public is the greatest law man has made since repealing prohibition. On top of that, I’ve been having issues with my DVR, but I managed to get it working so I could watch this week’s episode. But enough excuses, let’s get to the action.This week’s episode kicks off the morning after CC Deville was eliminated, and Rob is a little delusional in dealing with his grief. He has a fake conversation between himself and CC where he also plays the part of CC, he moves a plant in the middle of a bedroom, and he writes a song about missing CC. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems slightly homo-erotic.

Rob was complaining a lot that the B-listers won the competition last night, but he says now that he was just joking and being a goofball. He explains that to Manny, who doesn’t really believe it. Rob also said that he explained the situation to Verne last night, and he goes to explain it to the B-list ladies. The ladies also don’t necessarily believe him. If he’d just completely ignored the situation, then I could see why everybody would be pissed, but he went and talked to all of the B-listers. You can think he was covering his ass, but if he was sincerely just being a “goofball,” then there’s really nothing more he can do to make these people understand. And if you’ve ever seen The Helix…Loaded then you know how good of an actor he really is, so maybe he was just really kidding.

The house mates get a message from Robin about lunch for the day. The A-listers will be leaving to eat with an A-list star, but the B-listers will just be leaving to eat.

Manny and Rob go to wake up Verne, but Verne is still pissed off about Rob’s reaction to the B-listers winning the competition yesterday. Remember when Rob said he explained to Verne that he was just joking? Yeah, I don’t think he really did, because Verne didn’t want to go anywhere today because he was still pissed. Either that or Verne is just being a big baby about the whole thing. Get it? Big baby? I’m here all night. Anyways, rather than stay at home and make the rest of the B-listers stay home by default, Verne decides that he will, in fact, get up and go.

Before we head to the commercial break we see the A-listers get into their stretch SUV limo and who is driving but none other than Big Rick, he of the Flavor of Love fame. So while the A-listers are riding in the limo, spouting out names of who they think they’ll be eating with, like Donald Trump and Steve Wynn, I’m thinking they’re going to see Flavor Flav and be severely disappointed. Unless they love VH1 cross-promotion!

Well, after the commercial break we find out that they’re eating with Robin Leach himself. He’s the A-list star. Wait, he’s the A-list star? I wonder if they had somebody back out last second, and Robin had to fill in. Well, I should mention that they’re eating at Wolfgang Puck’s Spago, which if you remember from earlier in the season, Ron Jeremy knows him *namedrop*.

During the lunchtime discussion, Robin asks why anyone seeks fame. Ron goes into this spiel about being a sex object, something about R-rated sex objects, like Andrea, softcore sex objects, and hardcore sex objects. Ron seriously doesn’t shut up about anything. It’s like if you ask him a question about anything general, he’ll respond with something long-winded, possibly containing a reference to a celebrity he knows personally, and then it will end with a bad dick joke.

The B-listers go to the Hofbräuhaus Las Vegas. When they walk in, they each get a crazy hat to wear, and then they go in and eat. Traci says that because they’re B-listers, they don’t get what the A-listers get all the time. She also said that water is wet and she likes fun. Seriously, I haven’t been paying attention to the clips of her complaining all the time, so it could be that VH1 is just using the clip on loop to point out how she complains, but wouldn’t she be getting used to it by now?

Anyways, the B-listers didn’t get Spago food, but they also didn’t have to deal with Ron’s ramblings during lunch, so I’d say they came out ahead. It looked like they had a lot of fun at the crazy German restaurant, and who doesn’t love doing shots at lunch? I know I do.

Back at the house, Pepa and Andrea go outside to have a smoke, and Verne rolls outside and it looks like he’s just kind of watching them. He then mentions how he thinks Andrea is hot. Ordinarily I wouldn’t mention this because nothing happened, but then VH1 busted out the most ridiculous animation/graphic I’ve ever seen, with Verne holding a cigarette, and Andrea holds one, and then their cigarettes meet in a heart of smoke. Completely ridiculous, and entirely within the status quo for this show.

For dinner that night, Robin provided everyone with a Fiesta in the backyard. Thankfully, this led to the triumphant return of the chicken shot, which was also thankfully minus the miniature screenplays.

Well, in order to drum up some confrontation, each member of the house had to answer a question about a thorn in their particular side. Seriously, these questions could not have been written in a way that could cause any more confrontation.

First up was Pepa who complained about not being heard in the last challenge. Rob said he hoped it wasn’t his fault, to which she said of course it was his fault. Andrea complained about Ron’s constantly repeating of his terrible jokes, to which Ron seemed geniunely hurt. Then Ron was asked why he’s constantly searching for approval from the housemates and if he felt he’d gotten it, and I think he rambled for a while, dropped a name, and then made a bad dick joke. The real confrontation came when Rob was asked if he thought his reaction to losing the last competition hurt any of his relationships in the house, and he said no. Verne called bullshit on Rob’s answer and left for the evening pissed.

The next day the cast goes to Ice for the team vs. team challenge. Before explaining the rules Robin says that he’ll need the help of 50 lovely ladies. He goes on to say that 19 of the girls are actually hookers from a nearby brothel, and the other 31 ladies are just your run of the mill non-hookers. In 30 minutes, each team must have 15 girls in their lounge, and whoever has the fewest amount of hookers in the VIP lounge wins the challenge.

The challenge starts, and Rob seems completely confounded by the rules of the competition. Apparently he isn’t going to be much of a leader for the A-listers in this competition. Luckily, they have Mr. Ron Jeremy picking out ladies whom he thinks aren’t hookers. A few of the girls he sees he thinks he actually may have worked with, so I’d call that having an upper hand.

The B-listers seem really calm throughout the whole competition. Verne was sending girls to the lounge, Traci was questioning them before letting them into the lounge, and then Manny continue to ask questions of the girls while in the lounge. Chyna Doll didn’t really do much, but she did play bartender for some reason, making sure nobody needed any drinks, and if they did, she was completely prepared to shine.

Right before the 30 minutes was up, the B-list team asked that any of the girls in the lounge who were actually hookers get up and leave. So the B-listers are feeling extremely confident in all of the girls they’ve selected. They’re also extremely calm when it comes time to see who has more hookers.

Meanwhile, the A-listers were frantic at the end. They weren’t sure if they had enough girls, and Pepa, who assumed leadership responsibilities for the A-list in this challenge, kicked out two girls right before the end of the 30 minutes. When time was up, the A-listers did not look anywhere near as confident as the B-listers.

Right before finding out who has more hookers, Robin says that the judges know for a fact that there are hookers in their VIP lounge, but he doesn’t say anything about the B-listers. We find that the A-listers have 2 hookers. That seems like a pretty good number, but the B-listers were so calm. Well, the B-listers had 4 hookers, including what appeared to be 2 of the first 4 girls they put into their VIP lounge. I was glad to see that the B-listers lost for relying on the word of hookers. Everybody knows you can’t trust hookers. I found out the hard way. I mean, no I didn’t.

Well, Verne is upset with Rob’s reaction to winning, especially since Rob was being such a bitch about losing the last challenge. Verne says he wants to play Back to Reality this week, and everyone is fine with that. Then after Chyna Doll and Traci leave the van, Verne is talking to Manny about possibly wanting to go home, and Manny says, “If you want to go, then go. I say go.” He also said he can’t grow hair in his pubic region, and I thought maybe that was something he should have kept to himself. Good to know his Wikipedia page is accurate though.

So while the B-listers are deciding who plays Back to Reality, the A-listers are trying to figure out the B-list strategy, as if there was one. Andrea says they’re all leery of Manny since he’s played Back to Reality the most and hasn’t gone home yet. I’m not really sure how her logic works, since he’s never technically played in the Back to Reality game, and he’s on the B-list so he had to lose at some point, but I’m not one to judge. Yes I am. But she’s half-right in that Manny probably is the biggest threat to the A-listers since he has a great attitude and hasn’t sucked too much at anything.

Chyna Doll volunteers to go into the Back to Reality game, and then Traci says that she doesn’t want to play. She’s not “ready” to play it yet. Manny says that no one wants to go in, but he throws her a bone and says that he’ll play in the game. Plus, he’s already had the discussion with Verne, so he feels pretty safe.

Before we get to the game however, we have some posturing done by the A-listers. Manny mentions to them that he’s playing in the Back to Reality game this week since Traci wasn’t ready, and if it comes down to those two again next week, then she’ll have to go into the game. Well, Rob and Andrea take full advantage of this and go tell Verne that Manny is manipulating everyone, and they use terrible reasons to prove their point. Verne argued with them a little bit, and at the conclusion of the entire conversation, he wasn’t convinced but more confused.

After the commercial we see Robin and Inga, and Robin asks Inga who the hell she is. Well, he doesn’t actually, he asks her what game they’re playing today. The game is The Real Bling. The goal is to pick the most expensive jewelry of 9 real pieces of jewelry and 8 pieces of crap. Whoever has the cheapest collection will lose and be kicked off.

Traci mentions that she wishes she’d played the game, because she would easily be able to recognize what was real and what wasn’t. However, Verne says he doesn’t know jewelry at all, so he couldn’t lose this on purpose if he tried. Chyna Doll picked two real pieces out of three, so she was safe, not that it’s any surprise. However, both Manny and Verne picked three fake pieces each. So we have a tie. The tiebreaker was for the two of them to pick one of four rings off of Inga’s hand, all of which were real. Manny’s ring was worth $2300, and Verne’s ring was worth $8000, so Manny was kicked off the show.

So, despite how they went about it, the A-listers actually used a little bit of strategy to try to eliminate their strongest competition. Sure, there was no way Verne could have thrown the competition if he tried, but they’re not worried about that. Now they just need to continue to use that strategy to eliminate the strongest competition on their own team as well.

Regardless, Manny has been eliminated from the show, and Verne is talking about how he’s sorry to see Manny go. Verne said that Manny was basically the only person keeping him there, but now Manny’s leaving. I guess Verne didn’t really want to leave that badly though, because he probably could have pulled a Brigitte and said he would rather go home instead.

What did you think about the episode? Are you as tired of hearing about Rob being able to celebrate but being a sore loser? Do you think that the A-listers will continue to try to “manipulate” the B-listers? Have you ever laughed at something Ron Jeremy has said?