Toddlers and Tiaras MiniCap

Toddlers and Tiaras

By DearCrabby | Thursday, January 12, 2012 | 5:11 pm | 18 Comments
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps, Toddlers and Tiaras

Hello Gasmii – sorry for not having last week’s Toddlers & Tiaras episode up, as you may know the TVgasm gods have put us in a little bit of a time-out with the site being down and I apparently jinxed it every time I tried to upload my recap…so I have like 38.6% of the pictures uploaded, I just have to finish and it will be ready to go…hopefully I can get it done before Whitney tonight!

So this week’s episode is the Lollipops and Gumdrops pageant featuring the return of Makenzie but sans Ni-Ni, I’m sorry to disappoint. She’s still the same unruly, whiney little monster but just a little more articulate about it. Also, I think she’s scared the family cat to the point where it only has like 2 lives left. She doesn’t want to practice, per usual, and at one point Juana says she wants to smack her ass…I love it. Juana still looks like she’s on meth, but maybe a little less, and she tells us the Makenzie has become somewhat of a celebrity in the pageant world. Yeah, not for what you think it is, Juana. Anyway, they actually go shopping for clothes for Mak for when she ARRIVES at the hotel…she has to look good for her entourage, you know. Vomit. At one point, she tells one girl to stop hugging her (heh) and she does seem to get a little overwhelmed with the attention. Then stop bringing it on yourself! I don’t really think Mak is that pretty anymore and she seems sort of fake onstage…in addition, she tripped over her too-big shoes a couple of times and it was sort of sloppy.

Next up are sisters, Kayley and Brooke, one is 8 and the other 10…they look so much alike it’s hard to tell who is who throughout the episode. They are very competitive but luckily they have good parents and not Jamie Sterling raising them, and they aren’t competing in the same age group at this pageant. The girls do a snipe at each other in a sibling-rivalry way, however sometimes it got kind of mean and one made the other one cry. Siblings suck. They both do a great job on beauty and the “Candy Outfit” (one little baby had a skirt made of Skittles in their packages…excellent sugar rush for later) for both was great – they looked adorable and very natural, and the back flips one of them did were very good…and made me herniate a disk just watching. Mom and dad were totally proud of both daughters and there was no child-preference. You know how I can’t stand well-adjusted families.

Finally we meet Hailey who is a tall, thin and very well-mannered 10 year old who is being trained by mom and mom’s bestie DJ/Shangela – a tranny who is all that and honestly, a pretty good coach judging by Hailey’s poise and confidence. DJ is also Hailey’s godfather and when they are practicing the candywear routine and she’s supposed to be pushing a candy cart, he tells her to “Push it like a homeless lady in New York.” Because they are so sassy and divalicious when they push all of their worldly belongings in a stolen grocery cart. Why don’t they compete, dammit? Hailey’s only meltdown is to get upset with herself when one of her feet drags a teeny itsy bitsy little bit and she thought she was going to fall over. You really have to look for it, but she was totally hard on herself for it and starts to cry and mom begins to tear up as she tells her not to cry…it’s really adorable. Also, she might not want a kid wound that tightly…it’s just not healthy.

So…crowning! Last time, Mak went home with NOTHING and bawled her eyes out, so Juana is a hot mess of potential barfing during crowning. Kaley and Brooke both win supremes…one for candywear and the other for her photo, Hailey wins mini-supreme and Mak wins grand but not ultimate…I was kind of surprised and wonder if the judges were as swayed as Mak’s entourage. Again, Pageant Director Tonya owes us some scorecards, ahem! Although Tonya was a hoot in her own right – someone give HER a reality show. Now I need MY Ni-Ni…she’d be a hard workin’ lady today, that’s for sure!

A Food Network host wannabe and travel fanatic (only three more continents to go!) , Dear Crabby lived in Chicago for over 10 years before returning to her native Ohio. She loves black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and The Daily Show. A two-time Chicago marathon finisher, she heartily dislikes Smokey Smokersons, slow drivers in the passing lane, and noisy children, especially when they ruin a fine dining experience or a trip to Target. A nouveau spinster, Dear Crabby spends her free time with her Cocker Spaniels and often goes by the pseudonym “Mrs. Clooney.”

18 Comments

  1. 1
    ash1
    Posted January 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    Loved seeing Shangela of DanceMoms fame! I thought Makenzie looked REALLY uncomfortable on stage considering how long she’s been at it. I loved Hailey, and also her mom. I don’t want to like Tonya, but I can’t help it, I do, and she does put on a great show, her stage always looks like she laid out some bread at least, not like the plain pink sheet from a few episodes ago. This episode was a little blah, Mak is definitely outgrowing her charm. But I was with her at the end, where did those creepy little stalker girls come from? (TLC producers is my guess) Eother way, they were really annoying and I would have cried for my mom to make them leave too!

  2. 2
    Clair Clair
    Posted January 12, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    TLC producers was my guess too. I kept wondering how much they were getting paid – union scale, hopefully.

    Loved DJ/Shangela!

  3. 3
    00trayn
    Posted January 12, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    Shandela rocks! I’m surprised at overlaps between T&T and Dance Moms. Even though they’re on different networks, Shangela has appeared on both of them. I’ve also noticed several songs that they use with the kids are on stage during pageants and songs they use in Dance Moms for group or individual dances. There was one song in this episode the Dance Mom girls did a group dance to.

  4. 4
    Victory
    Posted January 12, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    Mak was a mess and she wore the same beauty dress at the last pageant when she didn’t win anything. It was ugly the first time and just as ugly the second. Mak looked confused most of the time. The “fans” were fake fake fake. Probably recruited and promised air time just like Eden Woods “crowd” of fans at her mall performances.

    I give her a pass on the cat, we have two cats who were standoffish kittens and it broke my kids hearts that the kittens didn’t love them and want to snuggle all the time. As the cats got older they became way more friendly and now they jump in our laps, sleep with the kids, and curl around our legs (trying to trip us so we are mortally injured and they can rule the house, exile the dog, and order shrimp everynight.) Of course, we did make sure the kids were extremely gentle at all times with the kittens.

    The two girls were pretty but the bizarre trailer is going to give me nightmares. THE EYES, THE CREEPY DEAD EYES ARE FOLLOWING ME…….

    Hailey was cute and poised and had a pretty good attitude. Someone said she’s been on Dance Moms, if that is right and she is a dancer her little misstep probably was a very big deal to her.

  5. 5
    whattafan
    Posted January 12, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    I disliked Shangela/DJ ever since she was the raging diva-bitch on RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 3. His/Her godchild was good and did well considering how late she started. Mak is a hot mess and it is time to stop the pageant cash COW and start grooming her for other reality shows. That seems to be the only future that she is destined.

  6. 6
    StageMom
    Posted January 12, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    I think every girl needs a tranny to practice with. My only issue with Shangela is that you can’t have Laquifa without queef…

    The whole Mckenzie thing is so strange to me. I haven’t seen her at any major nationals. There’s a huge pageant this weekend and all the big names will be there. It will be interesting to see is she shows up.

    I didn’t get the little groupies. Whenever you get a good pageant debate going, someone always pulls the “pedophile love this stuff” card but the god honest truth is no pedophile would sit through a day long pageant. I’m ready to pull my hair out after a couple of hours. I’m not sure where they got the random kids to greet her when she showed up and then harass her after crowning.

    Something strange I noticed. They showed Mckenzie being crowned last, but Hailey pulled a higher title. Do they show her last to imply that she did better than she did?

    Oh Hailey wasn’t on Dance Moms- the Tranny was. Crap I don’t think we are supposed to use the word tranny anymore. The drag queen was on Dance Moms.

  7. 7
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted January 13, 2012 at 5:01 am

    Haven’t read this one yet, but I couldn’t WAIT for it to be up so I could say, “OMIGOD!! SHANGELA AND MAKENZIE ON THE SAME EPISODE???!!!” Shangela never misses an opportunity to get herself on TV (Rupaul’s Drag Race/Dance Moms), and the ever-so “famous” Makenzie is right behind her! (PS – LOVED Hailie and her family!

  8. 8
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted January 13, 2012 at 7:12 am

    I could not stand Shangela on Drag Race. She was a catty jealous sabotaging bitch. I don’t know if she still is, but her hair is still terrible. She needs to get a wig consultant STAT! Maybe she could do another cross over and appear on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Then she could get some advice from Kim about how to find realistic looking wigs. Oh wait… nevermind. :D

    Can’t wait for the full recap!

  9. 9
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted January 14, 2012 at 7:24 am

    Sooooo glad the site is up and running. Missed you and the Gasmiis,
    DearCrabby. I finally was able to register and post ’cause I can’t do
    it on my iPad, but have wanted to do so for a long time. Now I have a
    notebook and here I am. YAY!

    It is indeed time for MacNasty to hang it up. First because she is
    getting fuglier by the day, and second because she can’t handle the
    celebrity. She’s too young to understand the fame cause/effect concept
    and it upsets her. Mothers who allow their daughters to idolize that
    brat are insane!

  10. 10
    kthxbai
    Posted January 14, 2012 at 10:54 am

    @DearCrabby I thought some of the same adjectives about Hailey as you did! Before I even saw your minicap!

    Uncle DJ gets my nomination for best pageant godfather AND best coach. And Shemonda for best pageant mom!

    I missed Shangela’s Drag Race Season and didn’t see Dance Moms at all. So I don’t know how awful he is in his own show business career.

    He sure wouldn’t be the 1st or the last person to be a devil at work and an angel at home. Or vice versa.

    It looks like McKenzie’s getting close to retiring. It also looks like that’s just as well.

  11. 11
    maryedith
    Posted January 14, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    McKenzie’s mom reminded me so much of Jacqueline from RHONJ. She kind of looks like her and she has the same passive “My kid runs the show” attitude. It’s all hilarious now, but she’ll be whining and bitching about it when Mac is 19 and sitting at home with no job and no college prospects. And she had put zero effort into that pageant. It was confusing to me — she kept saying this was Mac’s first pageant since the one last season. Hasn’t that been forever? Had they maybe given up on it and then decided to do one just to be on the show? Finally, it seemed to me that Shangela did a shitty job of preparing Hailey. She had to come up with a routine on the spot because all he/she told her to do was walk with the shopping cart!

  12. 12
    Chicken Lips
    Posted January 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    I might be a Mackenzie episode behind, but I noticed that they aren’t living in that big fancy house in the new housing development on the outskirts of town – looks like they are in a regular ‘ol house in a regular neighborhood? Maybe they spent too much on pageants and Ni-Nis that they couldn’t keep up with the extravagence? And where did Dad go in all of this?

    I liked Hailie and her family. Her mom seemed genuinely concerned about Hailie not being upset when she was crying, and not just because of the makeup. And I don’t know anything about Shangela (I saw her on Dance Moms and didn’t think it was all that bad), so I don’t know what kind of fame drag whore she is, but she did seem to really love the family and wanted Hailie to win and have fun, but if she didn’t win that would be OK too. Fame whore or no, she seemed very supportive of Hailie and that was nice to see.

  13. 13
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Chicken Lips, I think you might be on to something. I didn’t notice the house, but it makes sense that they had to tone down the non-pageant lifestyle. That is one fugly kid who is working on attaining the size of Mommy- just sayin’. It must take money to bribe those judges, because she was anything but attractive and she showed no talent whatsoever, unless staying on her feet after repeatedly tripping is considered talent.

  14. 14
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 7:35 am

    Oops. I hope it was understood that I was referring to MacNasty. I agree about Haille and her family. I don’t know anything about Shangela beyond what I saw on T&T, but they have such a sweet relationship.

  15. 15
    moragkim
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 8:44 am

    I’m pretty sure that’s the same house Makenzie’s family have always been shown as living in.

  16. 16
    ash1
    Posted January 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    @chickenlips – You must have been thinking of someone else. Makenzie’s family has been in that house since her first episode.

  17. 17
    Flora711
    Posted January 18, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    @chicken lips – I have driven through Montgomery recently and I don’t think there are any new housing developments on the outskirts of town or even near town for that matter. The house is kind of cute though, she has done a lot of fun things with paint.

  18. 18
    maryedith
    Posted January 18, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    That was definitely the same house. I do wonder where the husband got to.

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