They are kids, not candy.
We head to Indianapolis for the “Circle City Stars & Cars” pageant that includes something we haven’t seen in awhile – a boy! Two moms are pretty good, low-key, usually don’t compete in high-glitz and don’t take it too seriously (kind of a mistake), and love their kids. It’s the third mom that could give Jamie Sterling a run for her money. Crazy mom has two kids in the pageant – her first kid, a daughter, blonde-blue-eyed beauty who was clearly from an earlier “situation/baby daddy/one night stand” and her second kid, a son, from the baby daddy she’ll be marrying now that the kid is like 5. Good thinking.
Not good thinking? Pitting these kids against each other and clearly preferring the boy over the girl to the point where the little girl actually says that she has “no supporters.” Holy shit. The little boy has a ego the size of Texas and hair like a 70s rock star – nice mullet, David Cassidy. The most hilarious thing is the mom says kids of two races are always much more attractive, what with her being white and her fiance being…wait, I thought he was Hispanic? Portuguese? Italian? Is he black? If he is, he’s still whiter than Obama. And Kathy Griffith. Not sure how her kid is really mixed-race, everyone’s looking pretty white. As are their teeth – she whitens them every week! Enjoy seeing them all fall out when the chemicals burn through them. As opposed to the eyelashes she has dyed – damn blonde kids ruin everything.
Also creepy? The co-pageant director and emcee who spikes his hair, wears daddy’s suit that is clearly too big, and looks a little too anxious to hang out with the boys. I know we have that judge from the office supply store who needs to be watched carefully, but this guy…hmmm. Icky. Keep that little mixed-race boy away from him! Or not, he kind of sucks. Stay tuned for the recap!