Pull MY finger or my lawyer’s, I don’t care!
The Out of This World pageant in Darien, Georgia is where this week’s episode of Toddlers & Tiaras takes us. Pageant Director Chasity loses all credibility by interviewing with deely-boppers bouncing all around her head while one of the TOP TEN TALENT AGENTS IN NEW YORK Blake emcees. Guess that whole talent agent thing must be on hiatus.
First up we meet Bella who is the biter who ends up not biting anything (the lies!) and her in-denial parents. Bella is actually very pretty with her rosy cheeks, but she’s a little brat. Now’s the time to discipline! Instead, her parents think she is da bomb but they manage to really muck things up during the pageant, including a shouting match with one of the Nazi pageant assistants (seriously, unclench, lady!) where they both yell they need to call each other’s lawyers. You know, the ones they find on commercials during Judge Judy.
Next up is Ava who is the typical pageant girl…blonde, blue-eyed, pleasant enough and snore. Family is nice, she’s nice, but I didn’t find her that interesting or irritating. Her brother even dressed as an alien and tried to kill the judges so she could save them. Basically, the pageant equivalent of beige. And recapper death…another mother flies under the radar of my wrath!
Finally, we meet Jayla who has zero personality and wants to be Miss America but doesn’t know what that actually means. However, looks like she was just camera shy because once she gets onstage she works it…I mean, some of the facials were freakish, but she must have an on/off switch they flick. She does botch up bigtime during one of her routines, has to walk offstage, composes herself and gets back on. Judges loved it.
Bella’s parents are thoroughly convinced the pageant was fixed from the get-go, so nothing that was going to happen would have changed that. Including the fact that the score sheets weren’t going to be available until midnight, you know, when everyone was going to be stone-cold asleep. Blake snots, “So have fun with that.” Someone should have kicked his ass right then and there.
No spoiler alerts, not even someone getting bit! I was all ready to get out the open hand, fist, tabasco sauce, duct tape and my own biting back to fix that problem. Tune into the recap to see who wins and who loses and who says they are NEVER doing this regional small-town pageant again. So there!
What did you all think? Sometimes I read the old minicaps and recaps to see how much has changed in the show and with the pageants…any thoughts from the Gasmii? I mean, I know we all miss Jamie Sterling and her mad mothering skillz. I do love to see the crazy moms along with the kids! What do you guys prefer, crazy kids, crazy moms, neckless moms?