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MiniCap: Toddlers & Tiaras
Toddlers and Tiaras
Thursday, August 16, 2012
12:19 pm
115 Comments
Crowning is tough, one group had 16 girls in the category and let’s just say, not everyone goes home happy and someone goes home happier than you might guess. Doesn’t dampen Annette’s good time, though…she’s heads home with Mooootoooown on her mind.
Until the recap is posted, follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page! You can post your favorite lines right back at us. And you can check out previous T&T recaps to hold you until the next one! Thanks for being here!
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115 Comments
I disagreed with the judges on this one – and that’s a rarity for me. As to the chimp child, I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that.
And why, OH WHY, must these moronic parents pit one child against another? It’s bad enough to lose to a relative stranger but a sibling? That’s just harsh. Especially when they clearly give the boy more attention. Well, a few years from now when Mac is tattooed and with child, maybe Mom can see the error of her ways.
Can’t wait to see if your full recap includes Jayla’s hairstylist saying she needs long hair to look simple and “elecut” (maybe eliquette?)
I thought the hairstylist was going for “elegant”.
Or maybe it was a version of “delican” – oh, Traven!
Jayla deserved to win for saying she did “well” instead of “I done good.”
Lol @ #2 – I caught that too. At first I was scared of Chloe when she walked into the living room, she had that zombie walk going on. I don’t think her parents were into the pagent at all, especially the father, he was pretty funny.. “She is 3, just give her a pack of saltines and she would be happy”.
Doe’s MacKenzie have a speech impediment ? Anyway, I thought all the girls were little dolls..
Was it just me, or we’re those siblings damn near intelligible?
I’m wondering if Mackenzie wasn’t wearing some sort of orthodontic device (she’s interestingly beautiful, but surely a set of braces is in her very near future), because she sounded much younger than ten.
I would have NEVER guessed Christian to be seven. My seven-year-old daughter spoke more clearly and was more articulate before her second birthday! He also kinda had this space cadet thing going on (where you can tell by his facial expression that there is not a thought in his little groomed head) that made him seem much younger. Then again, maybe he just needed some Go-Go Juice.
Thank you and thank you again…I said that child looks like they stole her from a zoo. I’m sorry you can’t fix whatever is the result of her mother sleeping with a chimpanzee. Usually unpretty children get cuter when they smiled…with her thank goodness she has a cute giggle. I know I’m going to hell but we’ve already established that years ago. Did Mackenzie have a speech impediment? I couldn’t understand 95% of what she said and could understand Christian well. Jayla needed the long hair and she rocked her little heart out
.
Once again sneak posting causes me to repeat another gasmii.
I just loved Chloe’s mom’s reactions to her M-I–L !!!! Hilarious! Wait until “Mother” sees this and sees how d-I-L likes her. Not. At. All.
Ouch!
Poor Christian really gave the full stereotypical White Boys Can’t do Motown routine. That boy has no rhythm whatsoever!
Pathetic.
Yes, Mackenzie has a speech impediment. I don’t know what from exactly, but she sounds almost as though she was hearing impaired when she was young. She plays with my girls at pageants from time to time, both her and her brother have always been super sweet. Christian doesn’t compete nearly as often as Mackenzie. Its usually a “mommy daughter” thing with them.
At this pageant, the motown wear didn’t actually count in the final titles. It was just added in because TnT requires an OOC event of some sort. UR only counts beauty for titles at prelims and this one was a prelim. It didn’t show in the episode, but Mackenzie did win the Poster Model thing that UR always does with the giant poster. She is a beautiful child– just needs her teeth fixed.
A lot of moms at that pageant were not pleased.
I liked how Chloe’s dad was all “I don’t understand girls and their clothes” while rocking a CRYSTAL NOSE STUD.
was the judge with glasses the same judge earlier this season who kept complaining that none of the particpants were giving her eye contact? i don’t remember the girls on the episode-does anyone else remember the episode i mean?
Does Chloe’s mother that Chloe is her child and that she controls what her daughter does, not the Grandma. I do like the fact that they were happy with her title.
I thought Jayla was cute. I love that whenever we have kids with normal names, we have h&m people to make up for that.
The siblings mom definitely has a few screws loose. You thought it was cute to tell a story about how daughter kicked you in the stomach, and made you go into labor.
@michkabibbles,
“I took points off because she had no eye contact with the judges.” (or some such nonsense. Lather, rinse, repeat). I love/hated that judge. She was so determined to sound professional. I don’t think that quite worked out for her…
Chloe looked just like Matt Damon.
@turtlegirl: i’m so glad i wasn’t going crazy! she seemed like she had a much smaller stick up her ass this time.
I was thinking that Chloe looked like a Jack O’ Lantern till she stopped smiling. She looked much cuter in a serious state. I got a kick out of her parents’ lack of enthusiasm, especially dad’s.
What’s with kids and enunciation these days? It seems like most of these pageant kids have difficulty speaking clearly. I don’t remember my fellow classmates in elementary school being unintelligible. Or my nieces and nephews for that matter. Don’t they teach elocution in school anymore? Or do they just stick kids in front of a computer? (I sound like my grouchy Uncle Arthur, but …) I remember we did a lot of reading aloud in the early grades, which might have helped us speak better. Anybody who had an impediment was sent to a special class to work on it. Anyway, Mackenzie, speech problem or no, is actually very beautiful, despite the big teeth, and would do better in child modeling. At least kids wouldn’t be competing and getting let down all the time when they don’t “crowyun.” She’d make some money for her future. Same with the little boy. He was cute. I don’t know why they plastered his hair down like that; it looked silly.
I disagree with Chloe looking like a chimpanzee.
I thought baboon.
And I thought grandma and her control issues were scary. In a lifetime movie based on a true story sort of way.
Mac and Christian’s mom designed (Stacey Alley’s) one piece glittertard in a previous Mother-Daughter pageant…the glittertard is otherwise known as the ‘Fashion Abortion’ that was NOT SLIMMING. It’s wordy, I know.
I also took issue with Mac’s mom’s explanation of the ‘Diva’ moment wherein her daughter kicked her so hard she went into labor…I’m pretty sure you can get that done in Tijuana for less money than a pageant dress. I think there is more wrong than just a speech impediment, Mac did not seem to have the emotional or conversational maturity of her little brother, and that is saying A LOT.
This family is Elecan’t, and their daughter will grow into a very Delican woman, I can tell these things…
Aren’t “Glittertards” the kids who compete in pageants?
I’m convinced Chloe’s grandma bought the parents’ house or had some kind of dirt on them. Why else did they go along with pageants if they hate them so much?
I was cracking up when Jayla’s hairstylist got lipstick on the feather and said the mom was going to kill her. I was hoping for a good ol’ catfight, such a letdown! I actually loved Jayla and her mom through the whole episode though.
did anyone else crack up when Chloe’s dad said she could just get a small pack of saltines and that would good? I just about died. Oh and how he could go watch Star Wars in 12 hours instead of being at a pageant.
@dear crabby – glittertards – awesome, I couldn’t stop laughing!!
omfg, i’m still not done watching this episode, but that first mom with the two kids … nutjob!!!
thank god for superstar die-rector annette hill.
oh, and joshua seems like a complete moron. at least so far.
The whole time I was watching it I was thinking about how awesome the recap will be!
I hope that Bro/Sis Mom (Lori? Mary? something like that) comes on here so she can see my advice – less money on pageants, more money on orthedontia. She seems like she has problems and those teeth don’t help matters any – give the poor girl a break!
And I thought Chloe was a cutie, but I thought that the monkey from Hangover 2 was adorable so maybe I’m not the best judge. I thought the dad was hilarious – it was nice to see someone calling BS on everything.
@Dear Crabby – So if one wears a glittertard again, is it a reglittertard? (Can also be used as a noun to describe pageant contestants.)
Chloe’s dad was so awesome and so stoned.
christian and mackenzie’s mother drove me insane. she is so freakin’ annoying and does that stupid nervous laugh thing after every damn sentence. if i had to live with her, i’d try to make sure she had permanent laryingitis.
@rubinia, haha, i kept giggling at the crystal nose stud, too. mostly because i have the same one in my nose, and seeing it on a dude was hilarious.
i guess i’m alone on this one, but i thought chloe was cute. not beautiful-gorgeous, but also not chimp-like.
by the way, crabby, i think you should get a clip of jayla explaining the crowning process and add it to your recaps for those who have questions about when it’s time to go to your room, pack up, and get the hell out of the holiday inn.
Alright, now I am going to go fetch this episode of my dvr! I still have lastweeks on as well…but that one didn’t seem so “fun” as compared to this one…MR Z is stuck at work until tomorrow so I can watch mindless tv
I will be back for my harsh judgement later…
Best portrayal of a pageant dad EVAH!
Also, the insanity of the idea that they didn’t caption the 3 year old, but had to caption the 7 and 10 year olds? Immeasurable.
My heart broke when big sis was crying when she lost, though. Poor punkin.
Does anyone know if the song they played for Jayla’s Motown number is a real song, and if so, what’s it called? Clearly the actual song she was dancing to was “Do you love me?” by The Countours since she was dressing up as one if the singers, but obviously TLC couldn’t get the rights (or didn’t want to pay the rights) to use it. Anyway, I am a dance teacher and really liked the song played and would like to use it, but I din’t know what it is and my sound hound app on my iPhone didn’t recognize it.
On another note, I totally loved the dad and saltines comment, and I totally agree. For the holidays, we gave our kids small gifts like stickers and books and crayons for the longest time (until they were about 5). They were so excited! Figured we’d save our $ for when the really cared and started asking for “real presents”.
I didn’t understand why Mackenzie asked if she pulled. Every 10 year old featured so far have always understood how crowning worked and whether they pulled or not.
This pageant was jacked up. I know that not many of you will understand this but UR is rigged. My daughter did this pageant and won but it was set up for jayla to win ultimate. First….the directored emailed everyone days before the event and demanded straight old fashion modeling. This took out all the cut moves everyone is used to seeing. Second…..only some of the kids followed were allowed to use the downstairs dressing room. Third…..props were not allowed for Motown routine or so the director said. Fourth……how can you win when your always late???? Points come off every time from every judge.
Mackenzie and Christian are cute. Yes they are hard to understand….maybe just nervous who knows. They did great in beauty which is all that counts at UR. Christian could use more practice. Mackenzie’s teeth need fixed. That flipper was not working. Loved Christian’s military outfit.
Jayla is cute and hyper. I think mom is going to be shocked how much of a diva she will be later. She dropped her personality in beauty. She did not earn ultimate plain and simple. Her Motown wear was great but not part of the score. She is a great dance and knows how to shake her butt. May come in handy later
Chloe is great for a new contestant. She has a great personality and will go places. Grandma was nuts with the map thing though. Grandma will get that baby places. Loved how green her Chloe’s dad was.
Over this pageant was RIGGED. Annette is a liar, a cheat and will do anything to steal money. $500+ per kid and only one wins $$$$????? Wake up people.
Um, PageantGuru I have to ask— How in the heck did you spend $500 to do the pageant? UR’s State and National are expensive, but the prelims aren’t anywhere near as pricey. Right around $225 or so if you did Motown wear and Photogenic. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that Annette is a crook, but honesty is important when trying to get a point across. Yes, the pageant was rigged. Jayla’s H?M persons mother was a judge. Known them all for years. The H/M persons daughter is going to be on an episode as well.
I’m sorry…. I added in h/m that was either $100 or $150 because this money was handed to Annette. Plus hotel cost that was nearly &90. And for every room booked her hotel ball room cost decreased. Actually fees were around $200 -$250. Additionally there was a charge for everybody to enter the ball room . It was either$10 or $20 but I think $10. Still at $225 per contestant and 60 contestants (I believe there was a total oh 75) that is a grand total accounts receivable of $13,500. I will find the paperwork so we have exact figures but Motown wear was not on the ppw.
@pageantguru — if you’re so concerned with ur’s system and annette, then why don’t you wake up & NOT have your daughter participate in ur? just a thought.
i don’t know or care whether anything was rigged or not, but c’mon, the h/m money handed to annette? lol, ok. i’m sure h/m artists are LINING out the door wanting to work all day with snotty-nosed brats for no money. where do i get a gig like THAT?!
look, i’m sure the pageant can have some deal where participating h/m artists need to pay them something for use of facilities, but i’m pretty sure they’re not taking all their pay. who the hell would agree to do that?
Aww I kind of like Annette. Kind of sad that she is a scammer. She is always hilarious on TV. Jayla was adorable and gorgeous and a great dancer.
I thought Chloe was adorable.
Her dad is a tool. He spends the whole time behaving as if the pageant stuff is lame….yadda…yadda…yadda…but he’s the one who purchased a house within shouting distance from his mom? Love it!
I found the paperwork. These are the PRELIM PRICES
It wont come over really pretty so here it is and then you can go to the link:
Formal Wear and Beauty Competition $150
Miss/Mr. Personality/Congeniality $25
Best Dressed $25
Photogenic Competition $25
Additional Photos $20 EACH
Cover Model Poster Contest $45
Talent (AKA MoTown wear) $25 (there was also a regular talent so add $25 as my daughter did both)
Hair and Makeup $150
Modeing Lesson (one hour before or after pageant) $100
Door Admission Per Child & Adult $20
If you just enter all of these and not the modeling, that comes to: $445 before extra photos and door badges….Knowing how glitz moms are we enter at least 2 photos so add $20 plus $20 more for the mom to enter the ball room. Here is the link to the PPW.
http://www.universalroyalty.com/upcomingpageants.htm
The reason we did the pageant was for practice. I am just saying if Annette is going to cheat make it NOT so noticable. I do not think any of the girls (or guy in this case) that were followed earned the Ultimate.
Does Mackenzie have a palate expander in? She’s a really sweet kid but she and her brother are both hyper and were bouncing off each other there. As always there was a lot of editing going on there. Loni sews dresses, and when she said she was living her dream, she was talking about sewing, not about her daughter’s pageants. T&T only shows a couple days in the life of the kids, they don’t show things like kids going to speech and OT and PT.
Chloe was the strangest looking kid I’ve ever seen on this show. Kind of hard to look at. Maybe she looks better in person?
Hmmm I guess I’m alone because I thought Chloe was one of the cutest and prettiest kids I’ve ever seen on this show, so I was totally surprised to see the comments on her looks here. Don’t know why people say she hadd strange features or looked like a chimp lol. She reminded me more of a young Elle Fanning.
@OlympicGal…Surely you are being factitious
@olympicgal — i also thought she was cute; you’re not alone. but i also tend to think what others find as “odd” looking people are pretty more than conventionally pretty people are.
Oy!
As a starving university student the amount these people spend on these silly pageants blows my mind. If any of these parents cared about their children they’d put aside this money for their education. Textbooks alone cost from $150 and up. And that’s in Canada.
I find it funny that some people are claiming that they are getting scammed. Hello, all pageants are a scam. Anything that makes you spend 100 or more to just enter a contest seems like a colossal waste. If you have the money, great! But I still believe the money should be put for those kids education.
Pageant Guru – you spent nearly $500 so your kid could practice pretty feet? Dummy, you deserve to be scammed. Oh, btw, I’m a Nigerian prince and if you’ll give me your checking account routing number, I’ll deposit $8 million. Promise.
I am absolutely astonished, astonished I tell you, to find out what some people will pay to reinforce their (often) delusion that their kids are cute.
And cut Annette some slack. She’s taking us drinking with Mr. Todd, so she needs the mu-nay!
Yeah, it’s not like Annette is Lisa Fulgham! And if she really was scamming parents, I’d think that a lot of the parents would start to avoid her pageants…of course, these are pageant parents we are talking about.
If anything her being a scammer is great…She must be good at it if people keep coming back pageant after pageant. If she writes a book on it I’d but it
I’m sorry $500 dollars for 1 pageant what is wrong with these people? That is a gym membership for these overweight moms a gate for their backyards…shyt speech therapist sessions(since we can’t understand half of what the Southerners are saying).
@Ziplock, your comment made me spit out my dinner from laughing so hard. You owe me a new keyboard! I remember one time some parent on here posted that Betty Burns was involved in some pageant dirty work….
@Moli, not at all. The entire show I kept thinking what a beautiful child Chloe was.
Then again, sometimes the kids that everyone says are beautiful I find to be a bit odd looking… so yeah, haha.
Oh man, check this out!
http://gawker.com/5935785/convicted-felon-father-to-toddlers–tiaras-mom-youre-not-a-good-parent
Honestly, I didn’t think the Dolly Parton costume was that bad – it was very costume-y…Madonna cone boobs, not so much.
My point PageantGuru.. is that you DONT have to enter all that crap to win at her prelims. ONLY beauty counts at the prelims. You have to enter the extras at State and National, but not at the prelims. And for the love of Jeebus– there are way less expensive pageants that aren’t near as scammy in the area that you can enter for practice.
The worst costume ever had to be Amiyah’s police costume, which was basically panties and a sports bra covered in rhinestones. It made me feel guilty even looking at it. It was just so wrong.
@dearcrabby-totally agree. i thought the dolly parton outfit was just kind of funny. she was covered from head to toe, i just didn’t think there was anything sexual about it at all. agree with icegirl that those types of sexier outfits are much worse.
Aw.. just started watching and my first impression of Mackenzie is that she reminds me of Anna Chlumsky from My Girl. I think she’s adorable.
Best thing about this whole episode is seeing my kids clothes edited in. I’m sick of all the editing, but that is TNT for ya!
I would like to note 2 things as I haven’t had a chance to watch the whole episode yet:
1. I love Annette the Dir-ector! She is way cool
2. Crabby, did I see creepy office guy judging? Ick.
Back after I watch the whole show for my snark.
@pat ledoux, your eyes do not deceive you
Jayla was too cute! Whenever she explained what she was going to do with her ONE MILLION $$$s I just about died. Then when she explained when to go back to your room & go back home, I literally laughed out loud. Chole’s father was a riot. Kensie & Christian’s mother seemed like she got her emotional education off the back of a cereal box. Who pits their kids againgest each other like that?? Lastly the women who claims this pagent is a scam, I would like to remind that there are starving children in this world & I will save my pity for them. And you sound like all the other crazies on this show when they lose!
Sexy–
The pageant IS a scam.. one of the most well known ones in glitz pageantry. Moms who have done pageants for a while generally won’t touch UR with a ten foot pole. I don’t believe anyone has asked for “pity” over a pageant.. but I do believe that the more people that can be educated about Annette Hill, the better.
@Pageant Guru, Veruca, et al….A scam is promising you something & not delivering. You calling her pageant a scam because the people YOU think should’ve won didn’t is highly ridiculous. Was the guru trying to make a point by posting figures that didn’t back up her claims? You can’t say beauty is the only thing that counts & then get mad because you paid for the other OPTIONAL categories. When Annette calls you and tells you “Give me $500 & I promise your child will place” and then your daughter doesn’t…maybe I’ll jump on the scam bandwagon. Let me know when you go to her pageant, your child wins, & she splits before she hands out the awards and cash ala Lisa Fuckover & I’ll help you crucify her. Until them….pageantmom please!
Jayla was A-DOR-ABLE! I am soooo glad she won that million dollars & is now able to buy that house she wanted.
Little Chloe was akwardly adorable! Cute? NO, but her personality makes up for it. Who else smiled from ear to ear when she talked about wearing sparkly clothes as her eyes lit up & she giggled from excitement? Her dad was ALL KINDS OF AWESOME! I wish he could do running commentary during all the episodes lol. If you give his daughter some saltines he may do it!
But dude! Seriously with the over bearing mom shit? Really? If you know what’s good for you, you would sale that house stat, move across town, & file a restraining order against your mom before your wife cracks, goes next door, set her on fire while she’s sleeping, come back home, poison your saltines, stab you to death when you’re knocked out, cash in on the insurance, & move to Mexico to avoid a trial!
Mac…..awwwwwww! LOVED HER!
Holy crap both those siblings need a speech therapist ASAP. Both needed captions to understand them. Oh well, pageant dresses are the priority. Mackenzie won’t need to talk while on the pole.
Christian reminded me of someone but I couldn’t put my finger on who. I re-watched the episode and it hit me that Christian all glizted out is a doppelganger for Dagwood Bumstead from the comic strip Blondie. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/be/Dagwood_Comics.jpg
Am I the only one who sees this?
Hasn’t anybody remembered PT Barnum? Seriously, he’s spinning right now and loving the ride!
FancyFeast @64, words of wisdom regarding scams. I repeat that I just can’t believe how much peeps will spend to have their beliefs in genetic excellence validated. And then to complain about being ripped off is nothing short of hilarious!
Icey @56, so true about the police costume. Far and away worse than the Madonna or Dolly imitations which are really parodies of parodies. I cringe at the crotch-grabbing MJ routines the most. Why, why, WHY would parents allow their kids to go onstage and make such a suggestive gesture? Ick. Then add the pelvic thrust and you have an audition fot the pole right there.
DearC, thank you again and again for the fun. You bring out the delusionals like nobody else can.
BTW, wouldn’t poor little Dag, er Christian, get a striped chest for being sprayed between his ribs? That pic gives me such a case of the giggles.
Entering these “beauty pagents” is like throwing money down the rat hole.
Some of the families involved look like they could put the money to better use by fixing up their homes rather lining pockets of these “directors”, particularly when all you get in the end is a flimsy crown or a sash to take home. It means nothing.
Most of these poor kids aren’t that cute or talented and spending money on the opportuntity to march them across a stage for 3 minutes only fulfills the need of a desperate parent trying to outdo another desperate parent who live on delusional dreams through their kids.
The costs for entering these fiascos leaves out the cost of some of those garish dresses, make up artists, hair stylists, travel, hotel fees, food, pagent “intstructors”, tanning salons, fake teeth, and eyebrow waxing. And all for the chance for a kid to take home a ribbon or “crown” that has no meaning in the real world.
Fascinating.
Let me better explain the word “Scam” in connection with Annette. Certain girls are pre-ordained certain titles at her events. In fact, if you go to one of her events and she announces that it is someones “birthday” when they are on stage.. not only is it likely NOT their birthday, but I can almost guarantee you that the child will Supreme… its a code word for the judges. This is a fact and I’ve seen it proven multiple times. For state and National level pageants where photogenic is mandatory, you must email in the pictures weeks in advance… there IS no judging panel, she makes sure that the scores help skew the results. And good luck getting any kind of score sheet from her. She tells moms to email her if they want scores. I know several moms who are still waiting on scores from LAST YEARS nationals (crazy Russian mom included). Perhaps scam isn’t the most apropos word, but she is certainly infamous for her shady business practices within the pageant world.
Not all moms spend a fortune on dresses. In fact, although it was never shown, Loni makes the kids costumes (along with dresses for other little girls). And in their case, she also does the H/M, but would be better served by getting a pro to do it.
@Katie, if everybody were as smart as you, we would have absolutely no fun at all! Shhhhhhhhhh.
@fancyface – Hilarious! Chloe’s mom looks like she could crack any second.
You never hear these moms bragging about the kid competing in a Spelling Bee, or has won a prize for “reading” the most books sponsored by their local library during summer vacation.
The focus is in “bringing home” a trophy for wiggling across a stage and smiling “pretty” for the judges who themselves look like losers who signed up for this stuff. When you hear the parent declare the goal to eventualy take the title of “Miss America” or “Miss USA” you have to worry for these kids and their future since that goal – another useless endeavor – is beyond realistic.
When you hear a mom bragging that the kid has “competed” since the age of 6 months there is no denying that commonsense is missing on every level. Most of these kids have no idea what they are doing and by the time the reach the age of 8 or so they usually behave like little monsters since their entire existence has been a constant stream of “how beautiful and special” they are.
But the dumbest thing of all is the amount of money spent on this endeavor. Particularly when you hear a parent declare they do more than one a month. One a month alone is absurd but to pursue this week after week is obscene. More so when the parent is saying they are “forced” to work more than one job in order to afford doing so.
Where are the so called “family values” they seem to exploit as a reason for entering these dumb contests if the parent(s) are away from home earning money to put into the pockets of these “directors” who it appears know the “winner” in advance?
I can understand working extra hours as a means of paying for an education but to spend on a session involving “tanning” a toddler, or purchasing a “flipper” to satisfy glitz requirements is incomprehensible. Especially when most of these kids under the age of 7 have no idea what the hell is going on to begin with.
I knew there was expense involved in these pageants, but I didn’t realize that there’s a fee for every category. Maybe I haven’t been paying enough attention to the confusing details. Don’t most contests, whether it’s getting your prized flowers judged or your showing off your 1,000 lb. pumpkin, have just one entry fee? Good Lord, these sucker parents deserve to be ripped off if they’re so stupid as to invest money in such a worthless endeavor. I pity the kids because the money flushed down the toilet for pageants could be saved for college or spent on things that could be beneficial to the kids’ minds and bodies, such as dance lessons, sports, books, art supplies, trips to places they’ve never been before (and I don’t mean the insides of a Ramada Inn in some podunk town where a pageant is held), etc. The only value I see in kid pageants is the comedic fodder for people like Dear Crabby who can entertain us with her wit.
We started Bella at 15 weeks when her older sister wanted to start (she was 10) and we said if she said no more, we would stop. She said that in June, and we stopped. She is just doing gymnastics now, and I can say, I am so glad we stopped. You feel so much pressure from the pageant world to enter everything and win, it starts to get expensive and not fun. I would rather be at gymnastics a few times a week! You spend thousands, and for what? A crown, a sash, and bragging rights? No one cares what your kid wins outside of the pageant world? If Bella ever decides to do a local or natural, we will let her, but she has to ask first. Soooo glad to be out of this catty world!
Oh, and I have to agree with most of the posters. Instead of doing pageants, we have bought a new, bigger house, Bella takes gymnastics Fulltime, and we have so much more money to spend on fun stuff ,
@Juliet, I’m a little confused. You started out like you had joined a 12 step program and had seen the light. You were proud and happy that you had finally come to your senses and quit. You even have money to spend on important things.
Great.
Then all of a sudden you said that if Bella decided to do it, you would take that one little drink/puff/bet/hit.
Reread your comment @ 75 and pull yourself together, woman.
You can do it. But it has to be cold turkey. We’re here for you!
I won’t read your replies.
You people are sick, I mean for real sick. In the head, in your soul. An ape, really? A three year old little girl with no way to defend herself or even care for that matter. You people are the living proof of the term idiot. What kind of person runs down a three year old little girl on a website? Your mad because you sit at home overweight and pissed off that you didn’t make anything of yourselves? So you jump on here and bash kids? Take a look in the mirror, post some pictures. I am 100% sure that not a damn one of you is worth looking at for more than ten seconds if even that. That’s my anger speaking. My sense tells me that none of you have children which means your are unfit to have them or are so off base mentally you wouldn’t understand the first step in parenting. I mean it’s unreal. Ok I am done, go back to your kid bashing and ridicule of others to make your disgusting selves get through the day.
@Katie–
Fair enough. My pageant girl is a straight A student entering her first year of high school. She is in all AP courses. Last year, she missed qualifying for the National Spelling Bee by one place. She is an accomplished instrumentalist and a swim team star. She also enjoys competing in pageants and we probably do between 4 and 8 National level pageants per year and a prelim here and there to give her stage time. Pageants have ALWAYS been her choice and she didn’t do her first one until the age of 12.
As a side note, the siblings are both honor roll students and involved in other activities aside from pageants as well.
@Chloe’s Dad….NOOOOOOO! Please come back & read our replies! I frackin loved you & your adorbs daughter, and I know it may be hard to tell from this minicap & comments, but trust me when I say almost everyone here feels the same way. Yes we’re cracking jokes about your little monkey but it’s totes out of love this time! Come back & read DC’s full cap & I bet you’ll see what I’m saying is true because who couldn’t help but love your little one (even the awesome kid hater Crabby) & your awesome commentary during the epi. BUT I have to tell ya, you’re not doing yourself any favors with the attacks. The Gasmi can turn like rabid dogs & maybe our fondness of your daughter will dim if we have to check you!
Have you read any post on here before? It gets BRUTAL, because..you know..its fun for us, and crazy pageant moms make it too easy! But on behalf of myself..I’m in love with her! But as you can see from my post @#64 I am seriously worried for you & your moms safety because wifey looks like she’s ready to cut a bitch in 3..2…So how about telling momma to back up a little. Your wife will thank you for it!
Damn guys Jabba Mama just showed us that she is even more of a trashy mess than we thought she was. http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/honey-boo-boos-mom-spent-time-in-jail
@Chloe’s Dad, I’m doing my best to comply with your request for photos; unfortunately I cannot figure out how to upload on this site. I do not have children, and as a non breeder, I have disposable income, a cute figure and complete peace in my kid bashing. Rest assured, I am darling.
Though I did not ‘bash’ your daughter I can see where some of the comparisons come from. I’m sure Chloe will be darling as well when she grows up. Lord knows my braces will put my orthodontists kids through an ivy league, and it looks like your daughter may be in the same boat. I’m sure some posters on this site are probably overweight, or unattractive, but some of us are just mean girls.
Little known fact: it’s funny to mock people who go to strangers to measure their beauty and or that of their children, but become viciously offended when the tone is not overwhelmingly positive. You put your daughter in a beauty pagent to be judged, you did so in front of American tv audiences, and that was out judgement. You see, that’s how ‘judging’ works. That’s how ‘television’ works. Your daughters appearance is now public domain, this is the result of YOUR decision, we are only responding. I can see how this might have confused you.
* our. Damn iPhone and my dainty fingers!
Working on more kid-bashing now, Chloe’s DaD…but don’t worry, your nose stud, cluelessness about pageants/women, and overbearing apron-string-clutching mom will get a little space next to the kid jokes.
@CrabbyDear, @PRux, Please have some sort of warning about the content of your comments. Dammit, I’m gonna need a spit-guard on my keyboard.
As a fellow petite snarker who survived the seeming millenia of wearing braces on my teeth, I thought your advice was spot on, PRux! One’s kids are never quite as cute to others as they are to the parents, and besides, if if kid is so damned cute, why use spackle, wigs and photoshopping to make them appeal to a trout farm of judges?
Ooooooooooooh CrabbyDear, I cannot WAIT for the fullcap on this one!! Mmmmwwwwwaaaaaaa.
I thought Mackenzie’s speech impediment came from the shape of her mouth and teeth. I told my husband I was horrified that her mother was spending money on pageants instead of braces and orthodontic work for her daughter!
I rarely watch the show but I always read the recaps, they are witty and funny and I’m always looking forward to the next one.I made this account because I just had to comment on Chris and Mac’s mom: Did she really say she entered her daughter in pageants before she was born, when she was still in her STOMACH? Wow, I sure hope she doesn’t take it upon herself to teach Mac anatomy.
This is Loni aka Mackenzie and Christian’s mom. Im going to respond to a few things. Mackenzie does have a speech problem and has been in speech therapy since she was 2.5 years old. She has a hearing loss due to an unknown issue. She see an ENT doctor every six months. Of course Mackenzie needs braces. I’m not blind. She is 10 and will get them as soon as the orthodontist will put them on. We have gone 3 times and can’t get them until her adult teeth are all in. Mackenzie was on all A honor roll for the 3rd and 4th grade and excels in everything she wants to. As for the American Girl doll Mackenzie was holding…..she is 10 not 18! Get over it. It is a$100 doll that she got for Christmas.
Christian is 7 and reads and does mathmatics on a 5th grade level. He is going in the 2nd grade. He is in TAG and is being tested for the IB program. He is not stupid but like all kids gets excited and hyper. He is a typical 7 year old boy and plays soccer,swims, play paintball, rides 4wheeler etc.
If must know both of my children are loved and treated equal. Go to my Facebook page if you don’t believe me. My children get comments in public over how well behaved they are too. My husband spent 10 years in the military and is finishing his BA and will graduate inDecember. I am finishing my MBA and will graduate in May.Please feel free to contact me directly if you think you have an issue I have not covered. My email is Loni.Hernandez@tamuc.edu
everyone who is going on about the scam thing — whether they are scams or not, if you believe them to be, then WHY are you entering her pageants?! it’s kind of silly to enter and then complain; no one is forcing you to enter her pageants, so if you don’t like them/think they’re a scam, then just don’t do them! it’s really pretty simple. get your practice elsewhere. if it has to be at ur pageants, then you only have yourself to blame for any grievances you may have, as, like i said, no one is forcing you to participate. and if you’re choosing to pay for extra categories that don’t affect the final score, then, again, that’s your choice and no one is making you do it.
that aside, lovin’ that an angry pageant dad showed up instead of an angry pageant mom … especially because he was such a hilarious dumbass on the show.
For the record, my husband’s nose stud is a small plain silver stud- Not some crystal diamond stud as some are thinking. Also, I am not sure how many of you have done a reality tv show similar to this one but they edit 3 solid days worth of footage and pick the few minutes/lines they think are the most funny or most dramatic- So much so that my MIL was sitting on my couch watching me while the actual MIL comment was made and we all laughed about it afterwards.
And finally as far as all the comments on my Chloe’s looks- While I do understand everyone has their own opinion and is certainly entitled to it- I just don’t think it is very nice to talk about a 3 year old that way . She has won “Most Beautiful” in every pageant she has been in (not that that really means crap in/out of the pageant world) but we think she is beautiful and that is all that matters.
I thought Mackenzie and Christian were sweet. Mackenzie will be a stunner when she is older (I’d say that she is now, but I don’t think “stunner” is a good word to describe a 10-year-old). Jayla was also very pretty and well-behaved. Chloe was adorable, I loved how happy she was after she got her award. You can tell she really wants to be doing pageants (well, after she got over whatever prevented her from doing her “Motown-wear”).
@Amanda, The next time your M-i-L watches your hilarious reactions every time she was mentioned, maybe you should let her wear her glasses. A candid expression is worth a thousand words. Edited? What else would get those eye rolls and grimaces. I thought you were terrific!!!!!
I completely agree. The expressions made me so happy. I had an awful almost MIL a few years ago, she was very ‘nice’ even if she YELLED at me for buying her 28 year old son Vics Vapo Rub, because it would ‘burn his nose’. You can like, and even enjoy someone who is batshit crazy, and thy can STILL be batshit crazy. Unfortunately my husband’s mother passed away…otherwise Amanda and I could roll our eyes together.
FREE MIA. FREE AMANDA!
@loni, what explains your daughter’s kicking you in the stomach so hard that you almost miscarried? Because I would think that question (behavioral issues ect) remained unanswered.
Also, did you really design that awful glittertard-onesy that Stacy Alley twirled in? Am I mistaken?
I’m going to trade mark ‘glittertard’ it might be the funniest thing I have ever written…Dear Crabby may retain rights to its use as a pejorative remark, any and all uses in fashion commentary must send Penny Ruxpin a cookie, maybe a cupcake….possibly a glittertard-size 2.
@PennyRuxpin…deal! Glittertard was brilliant! Sending you a virtual cupcake and I think you’ll love it when you see the recap title – just posted.
And may God have mercy on what soul I have left!
@penny ruxpin….. Mackenzie did not mean to kick me. She was 3 and over tired as well as over stimulated by all of my family being at the pageant (her grandma and aunts). Christian was a healthy baby and left the hospital at 48 hours old with no issues that could be accounted to the trauma. No I did not make that outfit. Stacey is a good friend of mine but she bought that at a local dance studio in the Killeen Texas area. Any more questions?
@gwen…thank you. I agree with you and she says thank you too. I told her you said she was pretty.
Seems sufficient.
I agree with you Dear Crabby – Dolly Parton is a costume. I don’t think it is any different to dressing up as a character to sing a musical theatre song. But “Cone Boobs” NO there is no reason ever to dress a 2 year old in that outfit and I still think that the Pretty Woman outfit of Paisley’s is also wrong on many levels. When I judge a singing competition I take off points for non age appropriate songs and costumes. I mean a 10 year old in a Cabaret costume singing the title song is very wrong especially when you read the lyrics. What little girl knows of “elsie who charges by the hour” If she does – call children’s services immediately.
Just getting in on the Annette being a “rip off” debate. When she comes to Australia for one of her pageants there is a compulsory charge of $195 for a workshop to learn how to “model” . Some parents I know who thought it would be fun to enter decided not to because of this ridiculous charge for a workshop. I’m sure you don’t have to go to a workshop in the USA pageants.
Now I have to go and download this episode so I can see what everyone’s talking about.
Oooo Oooo Oooo Eeee Eeee!
Now time to catch up on all that I’ve missed!
What a way to start a Monday morning? You pageant parents are the highlight of my life sometimes with your anger.
Why is it that everyone thinks that because you are snarky you are fat, uneducated, lonely and bad Christians? Why don’t they ever factor in that we are drunk too? I really take offense to that.
*Hiccup* Thanksh ClasSay!
I tooooo take offesnsh.
Now all you pageant parents, aunts, other rels and interested parties get over to the fullcap ’cause this one is worn out and we need new fresh meat for our next meal.
Thankyouverymuch
i’m jewish, does that make me a bad christian?
@ellemenop, I’ll have to look into that and get back to you.
The angry toddlers and tiaras mother’s never reference the Jewish. Maybe you guys are in the clear and it’s just us Christians that are bad people.
i think we killed jesus and have devil horns, or something, though. but maybe they don’t care because we’re already damned.
You may have a point Ellemenop…
I think Loni could teach Chloe’s DaD a thing or two about how to respond to comments on a snark website. She didn’t resort to name calling, and calmly stated her point. I say this with the full knowledge that most parents won’t adhere to this rule, and will in turn give me lots and lots of laughs in the near future.
Also, I thought Chloe looked like Ron Pearlman.
@TiaraTard, yeah! What you said.
And where are all the delusional, reactionary parents? Come ON!
Ooooooooooooooh. That Ron Perlman analogy was…. priceless. Mean, but priceless.
Loni – Thank you for telling us about Mac’s hearing problem! My hubby and I were wondering about her speech issues, too. My heart totally broke when she didn’t get a crown and was so upset – she’s a beautiful little girl!!
To the parents, as others have said, you held your child up for all to judge. That means you don’t get to decide what that judgement is. Don’t like it? Maybe you should have thought of that before signing up for pageants and T&T.
Thank you, timgunnssister. That’s exactly it!
@ Tards in Tiaras – I take that as a very nice complement. Thank you. I believe that all parents get mad when someone is talking about their child. I have only met Chloe’s Family briefly and they seemed very nice. My husband spoke more with Chloe’s Dad than I did and my husband said that he is a typical Dad.
@ SaraKate- I totally agree. I was very concerned also. She is a very bright and happy child and thankfully doesn’t let the speech issue hold her down. Thank you for your sweet comment.
@M&C’sMom, no, no, no. When I said “And where are all the delusional, reactionary parents? Come ON!” I was NOT referring to you. You are too sane and nice.
My dentist didn’t have me wait for braces. I got mine at age 11, and of course I now have crooked teeth again. You are wise for being patient. Difficult as that is.
Lol@ the Ron Perlman reference! It’s still better than being called Lou Pearlman.
Let’s remember, Ron Perlman has made a career out of his unusual face!
I wondered if MacKenzie had a speech impediment. Poor thing. She is going to be beautiful once her teeth are all fixed. My heart broke for her when she was crying. I also felt bad for her when Loni snapped at her when she told Christian that there were other trophies coming. In fact, I’m sure what she said was “Don’t worry, there are lots of other trophies coming”. I think she was really trying to be supportive of him and make him feel better. She seems like a sweetie.
Chloe’s dad is a huge tool – he totally came across as a Jeff Spicoli (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) type of guy, but he was funny. The saltines comment was priceless. Chloe is definitely prettier when she is not smiling but I think she just needs to grow into her teeth. She’s still cute even when she smiles.