Well, Flipit and I be damned, guess Edenpalooza wasn’t the season finale after all! My DVR didn’t show any shows scheduled so I thought it was, but luckily a new one showed up last night and it does not disappoint. Also, spoiler alerts ahead, so, you know, be alerted to the spoilers.
No, no, that’s your PRETTIEST FACE.
Last night was Gold Coast Las Vegas, and we meet Desiree who has a name that leads her to only one job and it ain’t CEO. At 10 years of age, she’s pretty cute but not as seasoned as you might imagine – she’s only been doing this 2 years and it shows. She says she wants to be either Miss America or a showgirl. Well, it’s going to be showgirl and probably a second-rate one, because she just isn’t as polished as the other girls. Also, her flipper is cracked so it falls out during one of her performances (in her mouth only, thatswhatshesaid), and a first for T&T, she puts in green contacts because they go better with her red hair than her ugly muddy brown eyes. How much do I hate this? A LOT. You aren’t winning on beauty, you’re winning on falsies all over the place. Well, actually, you weren’t winning anywhere, were you? And no prizes are given out for mom’s overuse of her glue gun. The best line of the night is uttered by Desiree, who says, “Who’s Martha Stewart?” Who indeed.
Next up is the brat of the episode, Kayla. What a monster! She whines and cries and hits and screams and yells and then starts all over again. Her mother thinks it’s cute. I’m sure her future employer will too. She is really a brat and always gets her way, and even manages to throw a temper tantrum (and some money) when she win super duper grand supreme. And she throws it at that nice emcee whose name I cannot remember…she looks like a Charlie’s Angel. However, she is more polished than the other girls and for three years old, does have a pretty good routine. I just hate that someone who acts so badly wins so much. And then cries about it! There’s America 2011 for ya.
Finally, Kailia (another non-CEO), is a cute kid and doesn’t do too badly. Her mother leans on their coach too much and this new coach – Coach Cambrie – suffers no fools. Having been in pageants herself, she drills Kailia and Desiree over and over and over again and does it without a smile or any kind of coddling – so good and bad. Kailia’s mom thinks Kailia is destined for show biz since her parents were show people – mom being a magician’s assistant (woo!) and dad working “on productions” for the last four years. Doing what, running for coffee? (or did she say 40? Because if so, I’m sensing a May-December thing, but we never see him – I didn’t use the closed-captioning but will double check when writing the recap). Also, mom needs to tone down the screaming and up the first-impression…she’s kind of a hot mess on pageant day.
The other first? You can double-crown. Oh, you heard me. It’s like ordering one grand supreme with pepperoni and getting the one with sausage for free. Excellent!