This episode of Toddlers & Tiaras brings us the Hearts & Crowns pageant, or Bratapalooza, in a big way. And the best part of any show is when the mom swears the child wants to be in the pageant and win the crown and it’s pretty clear the kid cannot even grab her own ass let alone understand the Supreme Pan Pizza Ultimate Crown.
Or was it Fatapalooza?
And speaking of, mom Laura tells us her daughter Madison is a supreme queen. Madison has a bit of a speech problem that mom says they are getting help with, but I’m wondering who is helping with her awful personality? My guess is mom lets this one get away with things because she has the speech problem, the challenge is that her kid is a brat, loves to hit and scream and scream and OH MY GOD MY EARS ARE BLEEDING! Also, this kid ain’t cute, but does clean up nice. Sadly , she does not like to do any practicing of anything except being in a headlock by her brother (or subsequently kicking him in the face – great parenting!), so she does do the freeze pop thing onstage. Enjoy your consolation prize, brat!
In the middle of our pack is Maddy who is cute but kind of a brat and really thinks a lot of herself. Mom used to do pageants and makes sure we all understand she has more crowns and sashes than Maddy, but does tell us the $85,000 she won paid for college. I’m sure you saved it all up just for that 18 months at Upstairs Hollywood College. Maddy is okay but she’s no Eden Wood. But she does think she’s Dolly Parton and has the padded bra and butt to match. I wasn’t as offended by this as I originally thought I would be (or was when I saw it a few episodes ago), but probably because it was more of a costume (and one handed down from mom’s pageant days!) and less of a statement about her butt and boobs. I planned on being incensed yet I was not. That took a lot of energy.
And finally we come to Queen, a 10 year old that I kind of have a love-hate relationship with…I like her confidence and damn! For someone who has only been in the pageant world a year, kid has her shiz together like we haven’t seen in a long time/ever. Her routines are spot-on, she’s got a ton of energy, lots of drive and major confidence. Which is where I start to part from her. That confidence is a little arrogant and she is WAY full of herself. I don’t care that she looks like Tia & Tamara and that she clearly is going to be as successful as Tyra, kid thinks waaaay too highly of herself for 10. Also, she’s a pre-teen snot to her mother. However having been one myself, I’m willing to let this character flaw go.
I won’t give away too many secrets except to say that bad behavior and arrogance does pay off somewhat. Even beating on one’s mother. Excellent. To check out last week’s full recap while you wait for the new one, click here.