Oh yeah, she’s sane.
Hey Gasmii – I am going to keep this short because I am at a conference and it is imperative that I rush mints and water to our booth so our sales people can help keep me in a job! And in all honesty, I watched this show after a networking event and a delicious but late Legal Seafoods dinner, so the first time I fell asleep in the middle and the second time – watching it at midnight – I fell asleep in the last five minutes. I really need to get my priorities straight.
First up in the Fresh Faces of Missouri pageant, one for “facially gifted” children, we meet 6 year old Paige who I need to tell you is another kid we are following who I think has some serious social and perhaps mental issues – I’m not kidding. Something seems stereotypically serial killer-ish about her. She is a grouch, yells when she talks (and she’s 6 so shouldn’t she be past that whole not understanding volume thing) and she has a funny lisp or something – which, I know lots of kids do at that age but this seemed like the perfect storm of weird. Her mom Candace is no prize and her poor pageant coach is just cashing the checks – Paige hates to practice and it shows.
Next up is Sydney who sort of reminds me of Queen in both her arrogance, determination and holy shit – her acrobatics/gymnastics/cheerleading aptitude. That kids is AMAZING in her routines and when I watched her my back started to hurt she was flipping around much! Kid knew her stuff. Sadly, her mother actually tells us that she’s not a “crazy” pageant mom, she’s and “INSANE ONE!” then she laughs the cackle-y witch laugh that makes us realize she’s right when she says she needs a therapist and meds. NUTCASE. Oh, and she also makes a lot of racists jokes and has a baby doll that is so real when they leave it in the car they’ve had the cops called on them – and they think that is funny. Excellent.
Finally, we meet Sydney’s big rival Madison whose mother has taken a back seat to pageants while her best friend and the BFF’s mother put her kid in pageants. Did anyone else find this situation sort of creepy? She’s good but not as polished as Sydney . They are pretty hard on her and I’m wondering if they are paying for everything too. It’s funny to see these women and Sydney’s mom semi-fight while their daughters are being made up by the same makeup/hair person. Madison’s family bring the makeup artist apples and Sydney’s mom doesn’t want her giving Madison special treatment. For apples? Try cash. Also, you are all tanks so eating apples might be a good idea.
SPOILER ALERT! Now I did see Paige win princess and her mom get bummed out about it, but I didn’t see the other girls win their respective crowns – both won Grand Supreme for their age group (Madison in one, Sydney in the other) but neither won the Ultimate Grand Supreme Meat Lovers prize. Again, I was snoring when this happened so I don’t know how they took it, but neither of them were really all that bitchy so I’m guessing okay. Moms/Females involved? Maybe not so well. And totally nuts.