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MiniCap: Toddlers & Tiaras Las Vegas Style!
Toddlers and Tiaras
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
10:37 pm
141 Comments
Tagged: Blue Man Group in little people form, douchebag dad, drag queen judges, dressing too young for your age, falling off the stage, helicoptering to Vegas, hoodies beware, hot pink Hummers, lesbians beware, new money, not kidding about the douchebag dad, obnoxious twins, people who will be voting republican, single moms beware, twins who aren't, wasted money, wax faces
Oh my freakin’ God was this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras fantastic! Moms/grandmas with wax faces, drag queens judging, spoiled brats not performing, twins who really aren’t they just look that way, a coach teaching her girls the EXACT SAME ROUTINE, Blue Man Group in miniature size, a hot pink Hummer based on an Essie nail color, hot brother abs, I Dream of Jeannie falling off the stage, a helicopter ride into Vegas because granny face wax doesn’t like traffic, and a dad who is a bigger douche than Ryan Lochte, and that’s saying something.
Do I even need to go on? If I smoked, I’m be jamming a whole pack in my mouth right now.
Amen.
This is the Little Miss and Mr. Nevada Pageant and the competition really is tough this time – not too many fuglies here. First up is Kylee and her douchebag dad. How do we know he’s a total and complete douche? His t-shirt collection. The first one we see is “I don’t date single moms. I make single moms.” The second is “I (heart) Lesbians.” What an ASSHOLE. Plus, he wears his hoodie with the hood up for most of the pageant. Doooooouuuuuuuuccccccchhhhhhheeeeee. Like seriously, he’s the love child of Massengill and Summer’s Eve. Luckily, Kylee has a lot of energy, is really pretty and overall is a nice kid. Even nicer (for us) is when she pops out of her I Dream of Jeannie bottle and falls completely off the back of the stage. Thanks once again to the MOFOS at TLC who cannot seem to time their commercials right, I’m not sure what happened in that 60-90 seconds we missed thanks to another DirecTV commercial that runs too long, but then I see that Kylee has accumulated her fecal matter, shrugged off whatever brain damage she received and is back onstage to kick ass and take names. Just names of single moms.
Next up is another adorable little girl named Elizabeth who is not only pageant-ready but probably someone who is going to be a model someday, she is beautiful. Sadly, her grandmother looks like she’s from a sideshow house of wax thanks to horrible plastic surgery and too much botox. Also? Granny needs to start dressing her age because her belly-baring and/or too short outfits are just aging her. The family is LOADED as granny mentions she’s probably spent $100,000 on pageants. Or you could have fed a lot of needy families in Vegas, but whatever. Granny is pissed at their coach because she taught a bunch of girls the SAME ROUTINE FOR THE SAME PAGEANT and does a shit-can job on Elizabeth’s hair…making her look just like Kylee. Oops. Doesn’t help that they have the same color dress and stand next to each other, either. Granny spares no expense or time (because clearly it’s slipping down her waxy face) and decides to helicopter the 25 miles between Henderson and Las Vegas because she doesn’t like the traffic. Well, clearly the recession skipped over Nevada and moved right on into the west coast.
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141 Comments
When I watched this episode, I knew that heaven had just opened up and rained down on you, Dear Crabby! So much to hate, love, and be repulsed by, my oh my! Thanks for the Massengill/Summer’s Eve line, I am dying here and can’t wait to use it!!
P.S. The lurch mom of the spoiled rotten twins has yet another new baby, a boy. Good grief, when are her ovaries gonna give the world a reprieve?
That episode was a hot mess. The twins mom posted pictures during filming of the 8000 sf house they rented in Vegas so they could be on the show. Facebook knows it’s 8000 sf because she had to post about it over and over. She also posted pictures of them filming the twins at Winning Wand coaching with Georgina but apparently that was too boring to make the show. I think all footage of the twins should have been replaced with footage of the brothers. I’m not sure how the twins have managed to do 150 pageants since they’ve done 3 in the last year and a half. The new baby is super cute though, I wonder who’s eggs she used.
I hope you do an entire homage to the douchebag t-shirt collection that Kylee’s dad was sporting. StageDad and I looked at each other and had to pause and rewind when we saw the one he was wearing at the pageant.
Granny’s face scared me. I loved Elizabeth and her energy. I just wish they could do segments with Elizabeth without showing Granny. She reminded me of tan mom.
I was kinda hoping the Cher impersonator would turn out to be Chad Michaels, but alas….
I was just hoping that Cher would manage to keep all his parts safely tucked
It is 3 am and I was praying for a rerun but no such luck. My reality is really beginning to get in the way of watching my favorite ” reality” shows. Your mini is awesome and I can only imagine how fab your recap will be. I remember the twins when they were on before. Sad to hear they are such brats because they were adorable babies. If I can’t catch a rerun, any suggestions on where to find the episode?
One thing you’ll have to give the ‘twins’ mom is she just laid it out when she said she been married numerous times and met Daddy Warbucks while waitressing. Boy did she see him coming. I read a true crime drama about another rich guy in Texas named Steve, who’s wife met him the same way. Let’s just say they didn’t end up with twins. I’d like to read the biographies of all her exes’ if they’re still in Texas. I’ve got to say between Waitress Mom and June HoneyBunny Bear, I like JUNE a lot better.
Did you notice one of Granny’s belly shirts where you could see a good 6 inches of the top of her pantyhose between the skirt and the top? Ew. Lady looked like her face was melting…
I am a T&T junkie. When the one twin won on an earlier show, the first thing I wondered was how much was paid for those results, LOL. On a not funny note, did you see the very beginning of this episode, when a young girl was on stage, pulled off her shirt, and paraded around TOPLESS? Since when is that appropriate behavior? I was horrified.
Elizabeth and Kylee were such a pretty little girls. Yet another guy on a reality show made me want to take a shower, Kylee’s dad was just disgusting. The twins. . . Eh same old same old, Im so tired of new money.
Twins are not only brats, but not pretty. Not fugly, just not pageant material. Horse-faced mom hasn’t grown up and used to all that money yet.
I may be wrong, and that would not be unusual, but I got a mean girl vibe from Elizabeth. I thought Noni’s (!) money had gone to her head. Maybe she was just performing for the editors, but she seems more full of herself than she should be.
Okay. Set me straight, pleeeeeeeeeeeeze. In the opening sequence I thought I caught a glimpse of a tiny girl remove her jacket to reveal a collar and bow tie. Nothing else above the waist. was I hallucinating? Could have been the Bushmills before dinner, but I thought I saw it. A fellow tweeter said that it is Vegas, after all.
Loved the girls from the show at the Riv! Who better to judge?
That was a boy that took his shirt off. And they left out the part where the mom of the twins droped her new son on his head while doing a rabbit out of the hat routine. Elizabeth really is a sweet girl but wax face won’t even speak to you. And the little girl who wonder mom is a real bi@$h!!
@snowshoecat
That was a little boy with long hair.
OMG this episode was a gift from Baby Jesus! Dad with his lesbo t shirt made me laugh out loud, what a tool! All through the show I was thinking, Crabby is going to fucking love this one!
The twins are spoiled rotten and obviously Isabella hates pageants, so deal with it Kelly (Is that Mom’s name?) Try just letting Scarlet do it, and note to self- You better start with the discipline, or you will have a nightmare times 2.
Gosh this was such a fun episode, back after we get the full recap!
finally i realize what’s been missing from toddlers and tiaras this whole time-drag queen judges! man, that cher was amAzing! i love chad michaels, but this was a very acceptable substitute. she should be on every show. britney wasn’t quite as fun, but still very pretty.
“I thought I caught a glimpse of a tiny girl remove her jacket to reveal a collar and bow tie”
@ssc: i saw it too! but it was a boy. they made sure to post a name and age range for him unlike all the other randoms we see during those montage clips. i think his name was buddy, and he was maybe 4-6? i think he was supposed to be a chippendale dancer. he just hand really long (and beautiful) hair.
what skeeved me out more was seeing yet another tiny playboy bunny, although this one was with her daddy, dressed up as hugh hefner. did anyone else see that? that almost made me throw up my diet coke a little.
there were a lot of familiar faces in this one. the ultimate grand i recognized (and her mom), and wasn’t there the girl who lost to the twins in their original episode and then had a major meltdown about losing to a baby (diane, i think? she was on again earlier this season but with a better episode). and maybe paisley or a paisley look alike? it seemed like a huge semi-legitimate pageant this time.
@michkabibbles The ultimate grand was the ultimate brat, Kayla, and the girl who lost to the twin was Danielle.
I know my shit sometimes!
Funny thing is the little playboy bunny (Vegas wow wear playboy club) and the boy with the long hair (Chippendale dancer buddy) are brother and sister. Dad always has his little girl out there he is a great pageant dad with a great sense of humor. Which I think everyone needs more of.
@Mich, oh thank you!!! Still, a Chippendale is about as appropriate as a PB Bunny– which I did see, by the way. Eeeewwwww.
Lots of familiar faces. I noticed that little Elizabeth looks just like a tiny blonde Snooki. She really has that face– minus the pout thank any handy diety.
Oh, Crabby, thought of you the whole time thinking what a fun job ‘capping this one is going to be!!!
oh, god, this episode. you know all these losers are just showing off (like with the helicopter) doing stuff they don’t do every time just so they look like even tackier noveau riche freaks on tv.
i do have to say, though, i loved the drag queens being there. now THAT’S a pageant i can get behind.
What was up with that Blue Man photo shoot?? It was just so bizarre.
That dad was ridiculous. What did he say happened to the mom? I missed that.
what was up with douchebag single dad? he was a bigger tool than fax machine DaD with those stupid t-shirts. also, i thought he looked like he hated his life while he was talking about what an awesome life he has what with his partying and being owned by a 6-year-old. at least that made me laugh. plus, i enjoyed that it gave you the opportunity to call him “the love child of massengill and summer’s eve.” genius!
i’m so tired of the annoying grandmothers who want their grandkids to call them something otther than grandma specifically because it makes them feel old. lady, you are a grandmother (although it’s totally fine by me to go by a different name/nickname/title, just find this reason stupid), and in most cases, you are old, or really, really look it, and if you aren’t yet, you will be eventually, so freakin’ deal with it. what’s with these delusiona grandmas?
@nb1197 — i can’t remember what (or if) they said what happened to mom, but i can only imagine she realized her mistake and got the hell out of dodge.
I knew this one would be a crazy episode, but I wasn’t prepared for this! The whole time, I was thinking “Crabby is going to hate this douchebag dad and love this hot-mess episode!”
The twins were brats. I didn’t like them the first time they were on the show, and I definitely don’t like them now.
Did anyone else noticed how weird Kylee and Elizabeth’s beauty routines were? They were really bouncy and too cutesy and fake. Their smiles during line-up freaked me out and so did their rapid blinking.
And if I were botox Grandma, I’d kick the coach’s ass. Or demand my money back. No one should pay for their (grand)kid to look exactly the same as another contestant when they should be completely unique.
All pageants should be judged by drag queens. When I was a child I wanted to be a drag queen. Or at least Cher.
The Drag Quens were a gift from”whichever deity you worship”. I agree while I adore Chad Michaels, this Cher was an acceptable replacement. Please can they cone back?
@anna – i agree re: tacky twins’ mom v. june — I actually think twins’ mom is even more trashy, tbh.
I think that the twins mom has no class. You can tell that she came from no money. She does not know that as easily as she came in to it; she could lose it just as fast. Stop flaunting and show some classs.
is anyone else getting dropped comments? when i was on here this morning there were less than 10, but now i see a lot that, timewise, look like they were posted before me but i didn’t see. just wondering if anyone else noticed?
@sabriankay: i guess my sense of humor doesn’t extend to little kids dressing up as strippers and sex objects.
i know the line can be fuzzy in the pageants sometimes, but chippendale dancers and playboy bunnies are pretty blatant.
@michkabibbles: yes; comments have been hinky all over the site for the past couple of days.
I agree with nelliebelle – all pageants should be judged by drag queens ( I had that exact same thought last night).
I never wanted to be one, but I wish I was as pretty as one.
i wish i were as driven as one. they put a hell of a lot of effort into their hair & makeup & outfits EVERY DAY. i’d be too lazy. and i like my makeup.
I… I have no words for the amount of cash these families have to waste. At least the kids didn’t seem too bratty.(I think Scarlett and Isabella were just acting their age). Elizabeth is GORGEOUS, however I prefer her without all the hair & makeup. Kylee’s dad needs a new wardrobe. He might as well have “tacky” tattoo’d on his forehead.
The Britney judge (Derrick Barry) was on America’s Got Talent a couple of years ago. YouTube search it, it’s awesome. Elizabeth and Kylee’s beauty reminded me of weird-eyed Torrann, they way they bounced around and had weird smiles.
thanks, ellenemop!
How on EARTH is douchedad a father?!?! What woman in her right mind would f#%k that? God, I hope his ex received the mental health treatment she clearly needed. I also hope that asshat visits this board and sees our collective reaction to his very special brand of douchecanoery—dude needs a wake-up call STAT! What an ASS!
Also, ‘Gatlin’?!? WTF. Was ‘Kragen’ already taken or something?
@em pathetic — i totally had a wtf moment when i heard “gaitlin,” too. stop it, people! just … stop.
In the photo shoot with the “Blue men ” I recognized Lil’ Diva from Pitboss (shortywood productions) .
Marty McDoucher needs to spend some of his cash on some Rogaine
i wonder how come douchebag has custody, actually. is the mother alive? is she unfit, or just didn’t want the kid?
that girl is going to be mortified when she’s a little older and her father’s wearing those dumb-ass shirts. someone needs to save her.
I was wondering if he was gay and if he had paid a surrogate or something. The shirts made me wonder if he was compensating.
I couldn’t put my finger on it last time, but…. Twin mom and one of her sons look exactly like dwarfs. They are just tall. Please tell me someone else saw it. I had to rewind to him sitting in the audience and then realized he looks just like his mother.
This was like the BH of T&T, real money being spent by people who have money to spend. Kind of refreshing in an ostentatious way. At least for once I wasn’t worried that the electric bill wasn’t being paid so a 4 year old could “Sparkle baby”. Feels much better to laugh at people who aren’t being self-destructive.
There has to be a story behind Douche dad. Where does he get his money & what line of business is he in? Seems off to me but can’t put my finger on it. Maybe he swings both sides? Looks/acts to stupid be a success if he has to deal with the public at all.
Can’t wait for the full recap.
@mrsmiawallace — that plastic surgery and making such an ass of yourself seems pretty self-destructive to me!
I live for this episode! Battle of the Richee Riches & mutherfucking drag queens that looked better than the real women in this episode! Ok…a couple things
1. Is Kylee’s dad seriously trying to pass as being straight? He should totally hook up with the twins’ brother. (Kylee was adorable & completely rocked it out after her fall, but the affects that her dad CLEARLY taught her was a bit much)
2. WTF is wrong with Noni’s face? I really wish people would stop fucking up their faces with that b.s. (loved Elizabeth btw…any child that tells the adults to ‘scurry’ is aces in my book)
3 That coach was horrendously awesome! I mean, she’s a fucking quack, but she’s awesome…FOR US! Worse career decision EVER! But to be fair, ALL of those damn kids do the same thing all the time any damn way
4 The twins have gotten big but Kelli hasn’t changed. Still looks rode hard & put away wet. (Also? Scarlett’s blank stare while blowing spit bubbles on stage is a clue that pageants aren’t her thing)
5 Holy inappropriate dressing drag queens! Put some clothes on in front of the little ones for goodness sake! But to be fair, with these parents, that’s the least traumatizing thing in their futures.
6. How awesome was ‘Cher’s’ description of the twins? Could you not help but love him at all, AT all, at ALL???
7 Kayla finally won Ultimate! I guess that means Kailia wasn’t there because her mom said Kayla would NEVER beat her!
And oh yeah…Sugar Babies should NEVER be played in relation to little kids! Have they LISTENED to the lyrics?
@ellemenop – true, I suppose all of these people are being self destructive in various ways. I guess it just bothers me when I see people spend so much on these things and live in squalor. Feels like they are being taken advantage of and sacrificing essentials for some vague promise. Much easier to watch people be taken advantage of and squander their money when necessity doesn’t SEEM to be an issue.
@fancyface I found your comment funny because the girls on Dance Moms danced to that song on season 1.
When Elizabeth said her mom gets her pillowcases cleaned at the “drag queen” I cracked up. She’s awesome.
Clearly, I have a boatload of catching up to do, and I will mention a couple things from last week, because I think (hope) that no one is still commenting there. This week: kylee’s dad: you are the parent of a GIRL, who will grow up to be a woman. Would you let her date a guy that wears shirts like that?! No?! Then STOP wearing them!!! Clearly he cares about his daughter, but seriously! I loved that she bucked it up and got back up there.
Elizabeth was adorable, and I seriously wanted to put her in my pocket. I do wish someone would teach her to be a better sport.
The twins….. If the twins have done 150 pageants, assuming they are ones where you get a crown no matter what, how do they have half-again as many crowns as pageants? That makes no sense– very very few double crown. Also, the shot of the room full of dresses is the same as the last pageant they were shown in, most of which they sold about a year ago. She said the kids had been sick, but (a) we didn’t hear about that until the end, and (b) they should have stayed home if that was the case. Any parent who would drag a sick baby to a pageant, subject them to the long/late hours of filming, is just not right in the head.
Now, last week: I wish they had mentioned that Loni made mckenzie’s dress. She’s a talented designer, and I am sure she had to have mentioned it during interviews. My granddaughter has never competed at one of Annette’s pageants, and since many people claim “fixed!!!” when their kid doesn’t win, I take such claims with a grain or 13 of salt, but she does have that reputation. Mac came in last place in her division– behind the girl in the cast who looked like she just crawled out of bed, even. Can’t blame her for being a little heartbroken. Poor thing.
SabrianK @16 the little kids dressed in inappropriate costumes may have a terrific dad with a great sense of humor, but a sense of propriety would serve those kids better.
I’m no prude, but I really hate to see kids sexualized. T&T does it enough.
Was it just me or did Noni look like the woman that has has all that plastic surgery so she can look like a cat? Except I don’t think Noni was going for “cat” with her work.
I totally missed the “I love lesbians” shirt – probably because I was trying to figure out what he meant by making single moms. Does he knock up poor unsuspecting idiots? Does he kill fathers? Is he a chronic Maury show “Is he the father?” participant and dances when it is announced he is NOT the father?
I also thought the “I support single moms” shirt at the pageant was KLASSEE (so much klass it deserves two Es).
Oh – almost forgot. Kylee and Elizabeth, when standing together, could be cast in a remake of The Shining as the girls at the end of the hall.
@chicken lips — there’s a woman who had plastic surgery to look like a cat?! awesome! even i’m not that crazy. i agree, though — i doubt that was the look noni was going for.
douchie mcdouche’s i <3 lesbians shirt made a brief appearance pre-pageant; i think he may have worn it for just part of the day in order to show us EXTRA douchey t-shirts. i'm assuming because he has so many.
@ellemenop: http://chatterbusy.blogspot.com/2012/04/jocelyn-wildenstein-plastic-surgery.html
you’re welcome, and i’m sorry.
Question for pageant participants – the girls that were all given similar dance routines by the coach. Are there certain moves that you are required to do at pageants. Because when I was watching that I thought that was soooo wrong!
@ellmenop google: plastic surgery cat woman Noni isn’t as puffy, but yikes!
@featherhead good catch on Lil Diva, I kept looking at her going “where have I seen her?”
The total midget bitch from Pit Boss, of course! BTW, when the hell s that coming back?
Crabby, how come no one does the Kardashians anymore? There are some major douchebag snark stories there, how about if I do it?
@Mich #52, whew. Thank you. Exactly who I was thinking of when I saw her. Only she is going for youth rather than cats. Fail 2.0.
If Daddydouche got custody, can anyone imagine what mom was like? Poor kid. BTW, while he was busy bragging about his — swinging is the only adjective I can think of– lifestyle that takes up so much of his precious time, I was wondering how he had any time left for his daughter.
Well, maybe it’s better that way.
@snowshoecat — i was wondering what childrens’ services would think of him working a billion hours and leaving her with a babysitter (well, hopefully … i wouldn’t be all that shocked if he were just leaving her alone) the rest of the time so he can go “support single moms.” bastard.
Crabby Fan– A sure sign that she isn’t worth jack as a coach is the striking similarities in all her routines. Now mind you, each coach has a “signature”… I can watch a girl at a National and tell you who her coach is. But to essentially give the same routine in different forms… thats a ripoff and those parents should be dropping that coach.
I’m not sure that Douche Dad has custody – it could be that mom does, and he has his daughter on the weekends. Or every other weekend or whatever. I got that he’s the one into pageants now, and not the mom. At the end he was sitting with the coach and a couple of other blondes. I was wondering if one was a wife, gf, nanny?? I’m sure he has a nanny for the girl so he can go out late and par-tay. I wonder if he comes from money and just has it to burn?
Veruca – ahhhh! Thanks for clearing that up for me.
This episode was amazing XD
Can’t wait for the recap DC!
Did anyone else find their gaydar go off with the dad (Kylees?) his T-shirts made me lol. Just wow.
Douche Dad had a burly bodyguard – the guy looked like a bouncer which made me think maybe he runs a strip club or an escort service (which would explain the cars). It would also explain the t-shirts.
One thing I thought I noticed with Elizabeth – sometimes she had a very affected way of speaking, like her grandmother made her watch the Shirley Temple collection over and over and she was mimicking some of the speech. Not the words as much as the inflection, that “full cheek inflection” or too cutesy for words way that Temple had.
To be fair maybe he was metrosexual…? Yes I am still wondering about that dad! Lol. His t-shirts fool no one.
Kay, my gaydar was screaming. He was trying far too hard to play the role of straight loser.
even if douchedad IS gay, he should at least be in denial withOUT being a dumbass. i mean, c’mon, you don’t have to be a loser jerk to be in denial.
There Are definitely moves that how up more I certain coach’s routines, or general things the kids are taught to do. Watch long enough, and you can spot who a kid’s coach is, but nearly identical routines AND hairstyles with kids in the same group who have the same color dress would be a huge no-no.
It’s very possible that the routines could have been totally different, just similar elements. The h&m was a giant no no but there’s always editing going on.
I don’t think editing can change a girls hairstyle and put them in the same dress.
@nelliebelle Glad it’s not just me! LOL!
TLC likes to play up the drama. I felt the whole Elizabeth and Kylee thing was blown up (it was glorious, but still) The girls wore a dress that was the same colour- the grandma? Or whomever that was saying on the show that it was the same dress needs to get her eyes check-all the cupcake dresses look the same XD Kylee and Elizabeth did look the same but so do lots of kids. It’s a shame that te coach did similar routines, but it doesn’t surprise me (actually when they pointed it out I thought of the movie Bring it On with the cheerleaders and the magic fingers routine lol) Coach is capitalizing but I dont think she was doing it to hurt the girls in anyway- I don’t agree with not making seperate routines but then again it gives all her girls am equal shot? If they all had different routines some crazy mum would complain about special attention or whatever…
Ugh Noni was just creepy looking. Friends don’t let friends get too much botox or plastic surgery. The drag queens actually looked pretty good. They actually looked like the actual celebrities. Lady Gaga just sat there the whole time looking bitchy. Frank Marino just gave me the creeps. Also New Money pulled a Jamiie Sterling. She asked her daughters who was going to win and they said “Scarlett!” She responded with “I think so too.” Nice going New Money.
My gaydar buzzed all over the place with Douchedad, but I really didn’t want his nasty ass to represent gay dads. They have a hard enough time adopting/getting custody.
@Drift (wouldn’t we make a team? SnowDrift? Nevermind) You made me realize that I can’t go twittering when I should be paying attention. I misses so much that I have to go back an watch again. Hubbycat will NOT be pleased. Bodyguard? Seriously? Maybe with that ‘tude and that mouth he needs one to survive.
I also was irritated by Elizabeth’s speech and mannerisms. I still get a mean girl vibe from her that the uber- privileged have (wish I could do an umlaut), but her looking sideways when she would say some of those things made me think she was just being coached.
By the odious Noni. Ick!
I don’t know about the rest of the Gasmii, but the behavior of Noni and Horse-face made me glad I am just plain folk rather than a nuveaux Riche Bitche. Yeah, we get it. bitches have money. BFD. Can’t buy looks or class.
I could not get over how much Elizabeth looked like Spot Conlon from Newsies! It was weird.
http://tinyurl.com/9zkd3dt
@MrsMiaWallace I also thought Lurch and her son looked like dwarves! Especially the son. It was odd. Though I have to say, for all her new money bragging, she seemed like the least annoying of the people featured. I could picture her being like my mom, who grew up in poverty and now makes a point of being a big tipper and giving money to charity, etc. b/c she knows what it’s like to not be as fortunate.
And all I have to say about douche dad is he reminds me of an even gayer version of The Situation.
i was definitely thinking that the routines may not have been as “identical” as the moms/grandmother made it out to be, and that editing just made them seem more alike by editing moves into the same sequence, since they only show a few seconds at a time without a break, so it would have tricked the viewer into thinking the order of the moves used was the same in both girls’ routine. i doubt the coach is so stupid as to ACTUALLY make the girls’ routines pretty much identical; this is her job, and i’m sure she wants to be hired again.
for those who are involved in pageantry, do the coaches typically ask their clients who they know are competing in the same pageant & division what color dress they’ll be wearing? if so, do they tell the other mom about it so they don’t wear the same color? it just doesn’t seem like that’s something that can be blamed on the coach, unless her duties involve coordinating otufits so that two of her girls in the same division don’t wear the same color, but that doesn’t seem likely.
@icegirl — haha, i noticed that lady gaga just sat there with bitchface on, too, which made her an awesome lady gaga!
Ok, Elizabeth was one of the most gorgeous kids I have ever seen. She does have some mannerisms that shout mean girl. It was freaking adorable when she said that someone told her a “secrete” and Cher was really a boy. And the mistaking drag queen for dry clean was great. I thought botox granny had a right to be pissed, that couch totally scammed both those kids.
Douchedad…there are just no words. Pretty kid though.
The twins were just brats, or at least not into the pageant thing anyway. Mom having to tell the one of the brothers to pull his swimsuit up some was great. And Brittany asked if the brothers were competing, and giving extra points.
I had a baton coach as a kid who would give nearly every kid more or less the same routine, except her favorites. We switched coaches, fast. But that could totally be, as someone else pointed out, that the girls had the same elements (really, it’s a pageant routine, and they are 5. They are on stage for a whopping 90 seconds. The chance of some overlap is high) that were edited to look like the same routine. Weirder things have happened. She did most likely know the kids were back to back in the lineup (their numbers would have been a big hint), though, and should have done something different with one kiddo’s hair ( though in her defense, the bows were on opposite sides). Really, though, the kids were good kids it this one. Holy snark jackpot on the parents though.
I thought Elizabeth was okay cute.. Her attitude SUCKED and she would have gotten that little face smacked if I would have been her mama.. Thought that the other girl being followed was much cutier even though her dad has no clue which way he wants to go. Which is a shame because he is a nice looking guy.
As far as these twins… Why the hell would T&T want to follow them again.. I mean REALLY?? This was a contest on how much money these families each could spend and brag about.. BUT THESE TWINS.. not all that attractive and definelty not pageant material!! They didn’t do shit on stage the last time they were filmed and not shit this time either.. she said she would pull them out if she has too.. well you dumb bitch why did you make the one go on stage when she clearly didn’t want to. These are the ones that piss me off about this whole thing..
Judges.. nuff said.. hilarious.. weird,, strange.. creepy.. but could judge!!
Love the judges. Who knows more about the intracies of wig styling, false eyelashes, and stage make-up, than drag queens? They were professional but still very kind. There have been a couple of bitchy judges lately and this was a nice surprise.
Y’all are terrible! Noni and Kelli are obviously the victims of vicious hate crimes. Noni’s is clearly been the victim of a mad scientist, and Kelli is the victim of God’s anger at mankind (ie no brains, no beauty, no shame). For shame Gasmii, for shame.
* have always wanted to use y’all in a sentence.
If it can be said that an episode of T&T is perfect, this one has to be it. First of all, yes @mrsmiawallace, I did see a resemblance to an extra tall dwarf, especially the one brother. The stuff of nightmares.
Second, why all the dissing of adorable Elizabeth? She was so cute, and I couldn’t believe that ugly little mug Kayla won UGS over her. I didn’t think she was a bad sport, really. She even smiled a little when she said she was working for UGS but instead got “this.” For a six year old, I thought she was doing pretty well. And I thought she was much (MUCH) cuter than the fake smiling Kylee. I think the drag queens got them mixed up (understandably) with the whole fake smile thing.
Third, I must weigh in on the douchey dad of poor unfortunate Kylee. Where did he get this child and where is her mother? And where is the progeny of all the other strippers and lesbians he’s knocked up in his fantasy world?
Fourth, GOOD GOD, someone please tell the fugly mother of those square-faced twins to stop putting them in pageants IMMEDIATELY if not sooner. They clearly hate it and they are never going to win with mugs like that.
Last, but not least, Grandma PlasticFace was a complete train wreck. Looks like Michael Jackson’s surgeon used her to practice on and never quite got it right. AAAAHHHHHH!!!
Can’t wait for the full recap!!
Noni looks like someone melted down sadness, put it in a ziplock bag, forgot in in the sun, and then tried to stuff it back into a deformed chipmunk’s skull. Don’t get me started on Kelli.
I haven’t laughed this hard from comments in a while, we’ve got catfaced Noni. the dog twins and gay/douche Dad(who is totally covering…re-watch and his first 5 mins on screen SCREAM gay…nothing wrong at all with being gay) I don’t know which are funnier. Gosh I love this site!
i agree; these are possibly the best comments yet. can’t wait ’til the full recap — i know THAT’S going to be hilarious!!!
@brneyedgrrl-see, i thought that elizabeth was much fakier (new word!) than kylee. all of her facial movements just seemed fake and overwrought. she was much cuter in the interviews and with her family than she was onstage.
@PennyR # 79, I never thought of the terrible abuse, and here we are snarking.
*hangs head in shame. A tear falls*
@Gwen: I also thought Elizabeth was a gorgeous child but looked terrible with her hair/makeup done. The sad thing is that she is being trained to think she is only “beautiful” with all that crap on her.
Kylee’s dad made me want to vomit. At 6, Kylee likely knows how to read; how is dad explaining those shirts to her? How can that man claim to love his daughter when he obviously has no respect for women?
The shameless throwing around of money in this episode was grotesque. Clearly one cannot buy class.
I remember where I saw that blonde judge, the Kayla, Danielle episode. So I went back and looked through my TiVo to watch those routines. Danielle had the same moves in routine as Kayla did. She’s 10! She also had that leg lift move as well. Come on, I’m not a pageant goer, but I am a pageant viewer, and it really doesn’t seem right to have a 10 year old doing the same routines as 4 year olds.
And wow… my free time has now turned into investigating pageant routines.
Okay, we need the fullcap like NOW! Tears are rolling down my eyes from these comments and I don’t want it to stop!
Kylee’s douche-dad has primary custody? But be said, “I work a lot of hours every day, and I play a lot of hours every day. We go to nightclubs, sleep for two hours, wake up, go to work the next morning, then do it all over again every day.” So when does he actually take care of his daughter? Jackass.
Elizabeth was okay .. she was nothing beautiful.. AGAIN I SAY.. when they were interviewing her I wanted to jump through my screen and pop her.. she has a smart ass attitude.. but look where she gets it from.. She is not thankful for anything.
Ohmigawd
I am going to Hades in Kate Spade handbag for this…
You say Mini Blue Man group, I say SMURFS!!
Also, totally gay dad.
And wtf? The twins are hanging out of the Hummer?
Also loved this episode. I only want to watch pageants with drag queen judges now. Seriously.
I also liked the twins’ dad. He actually watched them and smiled at them. It seems like far too many dads on this show either act disinterested or tell them they aren’t good enough.
I can’t believe that none of the parents or hotel staff complained about douchebag’s shirt. Who wants to explain that to a kid going thru the 20 questions phase?
I did like that the Twins’ dad offered to look at Kaylee’s leg when she fell. It shows that he has some decency in him and doesn’t want the other contestants to totally fail like some pageant parents.
Kylee, not Kaylee. I blame my mistake on the “original spelling “of the name.
@ANTMfan, Douchedad prolly tells his daughter “Oh hey, it’s all a joke. It doesn’t mean anything” . Exactly what verbal abusers say when the victim confronts. Hey– it’s okay. Can’t you take a joke?
Only “explaining” bad things to his little girl.
Betcha.
” I only want to watch pageants with drag queen judges now.”
I know!!!!!!! Me, too!!!!!!!!
BEST JUDGES EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Their comments were dead right.
That grandma was spooky looking! DANG! They just got that camera right up her nostrils, didn’t they.
And, the twins “baby mama”?????? The woman is just wrong as two left shoes. Nothing redeeming at all. Nothing.
I thought both Elizabeth’s and Kylee’s smiles were horrible and fake. It seemed like they used Gary Busey’s dental molds to make their flippers, and their teeth looked huge and unnatural.
DC — I WANT MY FULL RECAP NOW!!!! HOLLA FOR A DOLLAR!!!!! OR A BIG PINK LIMO WOULD DO.
@icegirl (93) NouveauRiche proclaimed he was a doctor…which I remember, but I could have sworn he was an eye doctor. While it’s nice he offered and I’m sure he had some training, I’m wondering if NouveauRiche was just telling the world she bagged a doctor for kicks because I’m not sure that topical steroid drops would cure her ills right then.
Does anyone remember if I’m right about the eye doctor thing? If I’m wrong and he’s a doctor of other parts of the body, then I apologize to Dr. NouveauRiche – it was not my intention to make fun of you – I was making fun of your wife.
Sparkle Baby
All the contestants were a bit scary. The routines Kylee and Elizabeth had were terrible! What an embarrasment, Georgina can’t be the only coach in Vegas, please tell me why these girls, with so much potential are coaching with such a lackluster coach? I want to know who else was in their group. There were some pretty girls in the lineup, how could Kylee and Elizabeth pull with those God aweful routines, terrible hair and terrible photos?
You’re right, chicken lips…he’s an opthamologist.
I think he’s an ophthalmologist as opposed to an optometrist. It’s still eyes and not general practice; I think maybe it’s more surgical in nature? I’m not positive and am too lazy for google. I just end up googling myself and fall into a catholic shame spiral.
Dammit loyal, you beat me to the post.
@Chicken Lips, I do recall him being a doctor of some sorts. Loving the ‘NouveauRiche’ name…I think DC should use it. I agree with the other posters Dr.NouveauRiche appears to be a great dad that loves his daughters. DoucheDad(other good one for DC) I suppose doesn’t realize his daughter can read and isn’t aware of the impact it will have on her later in life(even though I think the shirts are a front for him). When he has to sit her down for the Daddy/Daughter dating talk is he going to say…’just stay away from guys like me(like I pretend to be)’?
@tx gal — I was also wondering how come the staff didn’t tell him not to wear that shirt … I wouldn’t have wanted to have been in charge of dodging those questions. not to mention if I were a mom there I would probably complain about it, and I’m not the sort of person who usually complains to staff about things.
@chicken lips – yeah, I also felt like she was trying to “announce” that he is a doctor, like anyone freakin’ cares, or like there were anything that could really be done then anyway.
I don’t know whether he was an eye doctor, but that’s funny. my brother-in-law is an eye doctor and I always make fun of him because he’s not a “real” doctor … although he’s definitely better versed in medicine than I am … still, the thought made me giggle.
Wow, get up go to go the bathroom and there are now 3 more posts, two of which gave a much better answer than my vague ‘ummmmm yup he is a era ummm doctor’
oh, some posts confirming he’s an opthamologist showed up on my email after I replied.
what cracks me up is because once I sent my brother- and sister-in-law and invitation to “mr and mrs” and she got all crazy-bitch on my ass and reported it to her mother, who had to ask me to address them as “dr and mrs” in the future. my husband is a lawyer, and I don’t throw a shit fit because his invitations don’t say “, esq.” at the end. which is where “he’s not even a real doctor” stemmed from. people are annoying.
@ellemenop, LOL .
Not that this really has anything to do with anything but your story reminded me of this. when I was in college, I was a nanny. Both parents were doctors. I loved it when telemarketers called and asked for “Dr. Smith”. I would reply with “Dr. Mr. Smith or Dr. Mrs. Smith?” and then listen to the sound of their brains exploding because this was not covered in the script.
I am still in a state of awesome shock over this episode. It was a trainwreck of epic proportions and I wish every episode was just like this.
@ellemenop – yes people are super annoying!!
An optometrist has a doctorate but isn’t an M.D. (they don’t go to med school) An opthamologist is an M.D. who specializes in diseases of the eyes. That’s what NouveauRiche is. But it’s still odd, b/c doctors don’t make THAT much money! They don’t normally fly around in private jets, etc. So I don’t exactly know what’s going on there.
A minicap with over 100 comments. Without a cussing pageant parent? Wow.
@ellemenop (108) Haha – I’m an attorney too and there are some people that I demand they address things to me as “Chicken Lips, Esq.” because they annoy me and I like to screw around with them. I paid a lot of money for those letters, and I intend to use them! Everyone else can address my crap as “Hey you” and I don’t care.
The “not a real doctor” thing makes me think about the movie The Hangover and Stu the dentist that everyone says, “But you’re just a dentist.” Hey…wait a minute…maybe DoucheDad thinks he lives the movie “The Hangover” – well, at least the partying part, not necessarily the “I’ve been roofied and can’t remember anything part.”
I thought he was some kind of eye doctor and not that it wasn’t nice that he offered to look at her – he knows more about medicine than DoucheDad does, that’s for damn sure – but you could just tell that he offered to be nice and NouveauRiche just hollered out that he’s a doctor so we all knew he was a doctor.
bahahaha … I bet he does totally think that “the hangover” is about his life.
since the invitation incident, sis-in-law has graduated dental school, so now i have to address them as “dr and dr.”. hubby calls her “doctorette” (well, she is his little sister).
from now on, I will demand that all my invitations are addressed to me as “her majesty, madam crazy cat lady with sugar on top.” bitches.
ok, even though someone said in the MINICAP which little glittertard bratlet won UGS, I may let it slide cause I am totes watching this one after MR Z goes to bed!! I don’t think I can wait until he leaves on Monday…effing ship is making them go out for the week…bastards!
Yeah yeah yeah…about reading the comments of the mini, but I like to read the mini to see if the show is actually going to be enjoyable…
I am scurred about the plastic granny and the douchedad, but sounds like it will be fun…
@StageMom (111) None of the pageant parents from this week have time to read the internet – they are busy getting plastic surgery, spending their doctor-husband’s money and making single mothers. When could they possible fit in “Yell at people making fun of me”?
If Scarlett’s and Isabella’s Doctor Dad is an ophthalmologist, he’s an M.D. with a regular medical school degree (just like one’s family physician), followed by a multi-year residency in ophthalmology.
If Doctor Dad is an optometrist, he isn’t an M.D., though he would have studied four more years (though not in medical school) after his bachelor’s degree.
It was very kind of him to check on the fallen genie.
@Jazzy. . . .sorry to repeat what you had already posted. The post count was 108 when I was composing my redundant comment.
@her majesty, madam crazy cat lady with sugar on top (FKA ellemenop) (113) DO IT! Hahaha!
@chicken lips, esq., i think i will send official letters making this demand. it’s not like anyone doesn’t already think i’m a freak.
so my husband really, really hates t&t and the fact that i watch it, but tonight on our looooong drive down to atlantic city, i just had to tell him about what a train wreck this particular episode was, and followed up with, “dude, but the best part is the recaps on tvgasm and the freakin’ hilarious comments that ensue.” then i read his some highlights of this glorious episode’s comments. and i actually got him to laugh (also, he laughed at Fax Machine from last week). this from the man who despises me even mentioning t&t to him normally. good job, guys!!!
My god, they need to have drag queens judge every pageant from here on out. Also it’s nice to see trainwreck mom & the trainwreck toasterface twins again, just to verify that yes, they are going to grow up just as obnoxious, miserable and disgustingly spoiled as I thought they were. I suspect they’ll just get that much worse as they get older.
Elizabeth on the one hand was obnoxious, on the other her self-assured commentary was just hysterical. The pillowcases going to the drag queen to get washed cracked me up, so did her wide-eyed “Georgina is a liar” comment at the end.
You can laugh at me now but I have every episode of T&T on my itunes. I looked at the other episode where they featured the twin brats and the father was an Ophthalmologist, so he is a real doctor who went to medical school and has an MD. Based on a bit of 5 minute Googling, it seems like he specializes in cataract surgery and is certified by the Board of Ophthalmology. He is a legit doctor.
http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-james-tammaro-xfbbw
@Moli, Good job on the century Sparkle Baby!!! I’m all kindsa jealous.
I’m prolly wrong, but I’m used to it, so I’ll toss my recollection in that Dr. NouveauxR is an orthodontist. At the time I was wondering if he couldn’t wire her mouth shut. Permanently. Can you just imagine what his first family thinks watching this?
@Whatwhat is right that there are two sides to Elizabeth. Go for the light, girl! Both girls looked phony and weird on stage. That coach should be sued. Not goo.
Not good. Yikes.
@Icey, maybe you can research the doc for us if you are so inclined and need a life. Which I’m sure you don’t. How do you have them filed?do you lable them by delusional, wacko parent or obnoxious kid?
Mr. Seabiscruit is an Opthalmologist, which means he is a “real doctor”. He went through med school and then went into residency. An interesting tidbit to know is that its one of the harder residencies to get into, so he was a high ranking med school student at one point. I do believe that he specializes in the laser vision correction surgeries and if that is the case, then yes, he pulls down beaucoup bucks.
As an aside to the above.. Med School students often strive to get one of 5 residencies, which are known to lead to the highest paying careers… they are called the ROADS to riches:
Radiology
Opthalmology
Anesthesiology
Dermatology
Surgical (most forms)
So yes, Opthalmologists (as opposed to Optometrists) are considered one of the higher paying medical professions.
Thanks for the info, Veruca. I’m surprised that dermatology is in that mix, though…I keep thinking of that Seinfeld episode where Marcia Cross played Seinfeld’s girlfriend and he called her “pimple popper M.D.”. Gotta love Seinfeld…you can pretty much find an applicable situation for every episode.
@LoyalViewer, I am not surprised about dermatology, because there are some pricy procedures out there. Cosmetic Dermatologists do things like Botox, lip injections, lipo dissolve and fat sculpting treatments which are expensive. Cosmetic dermatologists make a lot of money.
Yes, all those -ologists make a bundle. And go through a bundle to get there too. I know I had the wrong O profession attributed to dr. NouveauR, but that still doesn’t mean he has taste in women. Should have had his own eyes examined.
She’s had more than her 15, so will Horse-face please take the kids elsewhere?
Just don’t spend too much time at the cosmetic dermatologist and do some research before you go, or else you could end up looking like Noni!
Opthamologists like Scarlett’s and Isabella’s dad are medical doctors who have to go through internships and residencies like all medical doctors before taking specialized medical training. He is qualified to assess injuries incurred from falling off a stage.
I haven’t read all of these comments yet, but did anyone else think Hoodie McDouchdad’s “I don’t date single moms, I create them” tee shirt was a glimpse into his little creation’s future?
When she fell off the stage, Mama ‘the chin’ Gigante announced that her husband was a doctor while rushing to assess the situation. Since he is an opthamologist, I will assume she fell eye first into a puddle of grannywax that dripped onto the floor.
DC, lol, Bea Arthur is a great guess!
I thought I read after the twins last episode on some recap or discussion board somewhere that Dad had been very overweight, and then lost a lot of weight and then married seabiscuit. It’s like fat girl syndrome.
having gone to my last years of high school in “Nouveau Riche Beach” aka newport beach, ca I totally know the personality of the “mom” Kelli. With their age and having become a mom myself later in life at age 34 (although at 53 I think I look at least 10 years younger than Kelli, less miles I guess) these twins and baby are definately either IVF, surrogate kids or a combo. Just sayin, as my teen would say. This episode was so excellently funny. The greatest thing is on my worst day when I wonder about my parenting skills I know I am 3 zillion times better than these. In summary, daughter of wax face – get a backbone. Douche dad – therapy. Kelli – mirror and makeover.
Forced to google, Kelli has 8 kids ranging from around 30 to under a year. The ones with her husband are ivf babies. Personality wise, she’s someone who never had anything, and is now determined to let everyone know how much she has. She’s quite proud of all of it, so good for her I guess.
Anyone figure out what douchbag dad does for a living? Google is failing me with this one.
Long time reader, first time posting. I love you guys and your snark. I am constantly laughing out loud when I read the recap and sometimes laugh louder at the comments! (sorry Crabby, but these ladies are too funny!)
I have an idea of what happened to Douchedad’s ex….did you notice the t-shirt he was wearing during the photo shoot? One pic shows a man and woman stick figure standing together and it said “problem” then shows him shoving her “off the side” and says “solved”….. Could be the answer to where Kylee’s mom is. Just a thought!
Long time reader, first time posting. I love you guys and your snark. I am constantly laughing out loud when I read the recap and sometimes laugh louder at the comments! (sorry Crabby, but these ladies are too funny!)
I have an idea of what happened to Douchedad’s ex….did you notice the t-shirt he was wearing during the photo shoot? One pic shows a man and woman stick figure standing together and it said “problem” then shows him shoving her “off the side” and says “solved”….. Could be the answer to where Kylee’s mom is. Just a thought!
@FrizzyPop – you are absolutely right about the comments – they are hysterical and written by very bright people…some of them should really be writing recaps themselves!
Just posted the full recap…and I did notice ALL of his douchy t-shirts. Tool. Shed.
Enjoy!
Am I the only one wondering where Nanny Garth went?
As notorious as Las Vegas already is, last week was just not a good week for them… The parents on T&T last week, Prince Harry doing his imitation of a Ken doll thrown into the bottom of a six year old’s toy box with all her old Barbies.
They say what happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas. But, they lie!
Oh they lie!
Kylee at age 6 maybe She can’t read those stupid
shrits douche bag wore…kylees mom is a fully nude dancer down town Las Vegas…and her dad is gay or not out yet…where’s child protection agent asap…what’s this childs future in 5 years…therapy for life!!!!!