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The season finale of Toddlers & Tiaras is the Beautiful Me: 50’s Pageant, something even the moms in the pageant may not even remember. This one had a bunch of crazy but more in a fun-crazy way where although the moms admit to living their lives through their daughters, at least own up to their crazy.
How she does her hair in the morning…
First up, we meet 22-month old Ava and her mom, “Big 80s hair.” Lady, I get it, I do, but it’s 2012. And big hair doesn’t make you look any smaller. Ava is a cute little girl albeit with a frog-shaped face, but she does act like a 2 year old who needs a nap. Because she’s a 2 year old who needs a nap. Mom used to be in pageants and she likes to take Ava onstage because it brings back memories of everyone looking at HER. Her grandma really gets into it and I’m shocked she doesn’t need a new hip from the coaching. However, I say good luck to mom in getting someone to do Ava’s hair and makeup at any other pageants after suggesting the one who did it this time may have taken money from another pageant parent to screw up the kids on purpose.
Next up is Destiny and mom admits to living her life through her daughter. Destiny says she likes pageants because her mother told her to. Excellent. However, Destiny only seems mildly interested in them and I got the feeling that soccer might be more her game. She’s really cute, has beautiful eyes, but for a four year old really seems to look kind of like one of those chunky babies people always fawn over. The big mistake they make is shoving Destiny into adulthood a little too early…she goes as Sandy from Grease in her 50’s wear…along with a fake cigarette! What the hell? Mom thought it was authentic and the judges thought it deserved points off. Why not use a sucker instead? People would have gotten that. Sometimes the poor decision making skills of the parents really explains A LOT.
Our brat of the episode is the universally lazy Emma who is 8. Mom was not interested in doing pageants at all but Emma begged, and now Emma puts little to no effort into practicing (she prefers TV and well, duh), doesn’t like trying on dresses, doesn’t want to get her hair and makeup done and basically is a pain in the ass around the whole pageant hobby. All I saw during this episode was Emma’s future as a really lazy, texting, constantly fired for not doing her job employee. She wants the win but doesn’t want to earn it. Luckily, she’s chosen pageants and we all know how choosy they are in winners.
Judges were funny and calm, pageant director was funny and calm, and it takes place in Tennessee (our first, I think), which seems like just a nice state. I would have inserted a few more spankings than these mothers did, but otherwise a fun-crazy way to end this season. Recap coming soon!