Booty-smacking is EXACTLY the kind of relief we were looking for this week! Thank you!
Ahhh…last week was like an asthma attack and this week was the inhaler. Toddlers & Tiaras gives us some great TV for the International Fresh Faces: Fairy Pageant with our good friend Mr. Todd. Love the costume changes! We totally need to add him to our drinking gang of Tonya, Annette and Betty. And Lacey-Mae! Someone has to be the designated driver.
First us is our reason for living, the ultra-fawned over Traven, our sole male contestant in this pageant. He screams about being a grown up, the man of the house and how he wants to be up his competition. Then he says he needs to get the devil out of himself and proceeds to need an exorcist. Perhaps Alexesesese can loan him hers. His mother has trademark front gold teeth – is that from baby formula? Traven fires his barber and wants his grandmother to work in a strip club – and he knows the name of that strip club! Ah, T&T, thank you for quenching our crazy thirst.
Ava-Cate is an adorable little girl with a scream, little piggy and two names that one their own are fine but then get a little cray-cray in the double up. She hates practicing and likes to do a booty smack, which her mother fears she will do during the pageant. We can only hope. Despite having a coach that really needs to immerse herself not only in a ShamBrow™ but also some eyebrow bleach (although I’m guessing cuff and collar match, if you know what I mean, and you do…), she does a nice job during the pageant.
And finally is our egomaniac with manners Samantha who is Traven’s competition. I guess. She won ultimate grand supreme in her first pageant and has continued to kill at pageants, practices a lot, knows her stuff and has confidence – perhaps too much. Also, once they put that fall on her head, her forhead really went all Tyra on us, it was weird. However, her “Fairy” category outfit was awesome – I’d kill for gossamer wings like that, but again, hard to pull off after 40. Or 30. Or probably 20. And 10. Their only catastrophe? They brought the wrong length version of her song! Quelle horreur!
Again – still loving parents, still reasonably good kids, but more to work with this week…thank God.
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