Yet another great episode of Toddlers & Tiaras! We’re joined by our favorite pageant director, Tonya Bailey as she presents a totally awesome and new (for us) pageant theme, A Glitzy Life for Me – Pirate Pageant! Finally, let the plundering of the totally cool skull and crossbones tiaras commence, mateys!
How can you not love this woman?
First up is our sad sack competitor of the episode, Elesha, 5 – pronounce Alicia and her completely clueless and is clueless to her cluelessness mom Beth. Beth is completely convinced that at this third pageant they’ve ever done, they are going to sweep the awards and take home ultimate grand supreme! The problem? Elesha’s black and gold non-glitz dress, her 7-year old brother coach, no fall, no teeth, no makeup, apparently “gicky” hair that the makeup and hair person couldn’t work with and Elesha and Beth’s total and complete lack of knowing how pageants work. My favorite part is when Elesha tip-toed along the tape on the stage as though she was walking on a tight wire. Fantastic training!
Even more interesting? Single mom Beth goes broke paying for these pageants and thinks taking Elesha to a drive-through feeding zoo where the animals try to tear your jalopy seats out is a great way to give Elesha the confidence she needs to compete. She honestly thinks she’s doing what’s best for her mom and somewhere, someone is going to bilk Beth out of what little money she has by selling her magic beans.
Next up is a girl we followed at the Le Maison de Paris competition a few seasons ago, Daisy, 8 and her mom April. All things considered, these were very nice, polite and knowledgeable about pageant people. Daisy really has a lot of confidence and her dance routines are spot-on. Mom says they are going to “plunder” the pageant and you know what? Being prepared helps!
Also fun is that our good buddy/pageant director/dad of Big Boobs McGee who Annette likes to rain money on, Michael Booth, has made Daisy’s dress and it is fantabulous! I believe there are wings, I will try to get a screen shot. It’s just stunning.
And finally, our ill-named and super-brat of the episode, Paetynn – I am not kidding – pronounced Peyton – who is four but acts like she’s going through the terrible twos. And God forbid she get reprimanded or disciplined or RAISED PROPERLY in any way. God, this kid is a terror. She hates changing clothes, putting on glitz outfits, having her hair and makeup done, putting in a flipper, walking onstage and basically breathing, yet mom – named Broughnman! – has the balls to say that Paetynn LOVES pageants. No, you just love living through your daughter like most of the moms on this show.
This kid screams and cries all pageant day, spends a lot of time drawing on her bedroom walls and creates a situation where the family dog farts and Justin Bieber has to smell it. The worst part is that when she gets onstage, she’s actually pretty good and you know that’s all the judges see.