Hello Gasmii! Ready for another episode of Toddlers & Tiaras? This one chilled me out from last week, man did Jabba the Butt irritate the crap out of me with her meanness and bad parenting. This week, we have bad parenting but at least she’s nice and supportive to the kid. This issue? DISCIPLINE!
Look, we’ve all been there with our mothers, but usually not until our teen years.
So we are doing Rock Star Divas and Dolls in Darien, Georgia, with Miss Chasity again. I miss Annette. Our three girls are from the area – two from Georgia and one from Tennessee.
First up is Payton, a 2-year old “phenom” or so her mother thinks, who has been in pageants since she was four months old. She’s done 110 pageants and won 90, which means basically she’s at a pageant like every 20 minutes. Exhausting! However, during the show she survives a runaway red wagon that crashes her into a wooded ravine (awesome!), getting spray-tanned by the body-shop guy (yikes!), and playing Pebbles and forgetting how to drum (doyee!). Those are drum sticks, not pixie sticks. Get them out of your mouth.
Next we have Hailey…was that her name? I haven’t had my coffee this morning. Here’s what I can tell you about her: nice, polite, well-mannered with parents who love and support her. The only thing that stops the production crew from editing them out of most of the show is her totally flaming heterosexual dad. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. Dad support is dad support and hey, getting a mani-pedi with your dad is, well…okay, it’s weird, but at least he’s taking an interest in her life. No pole dancing for her when she grows up. But we all know great parents are a snorefest, at least in the recap world.
And finally we meet our Satan of the week. Now here’s the deal: Olivia is awful because she’s not being disciplined. I don’t know how many of us would put up with a kid hitting us, calling us a crazy fool or screaming at us to get away from her without putting her in a time out – which she tries to do with her mother. Mom says that the way she acts is “cute” for right now (it’s really not) but hopefully she’ll grow out of it. She says her daughter likes to show off her dominant side to the other kids and their mothers. Then why doesn’t she just pee around all of you? That would at least be quieter.
Spoiler alert about the winners…all get some kind of crown and not just for participation, but I sort of feel the competition for the girls this season is not as tight as normal (save for the Eden/McKenzie smackdown that never occurred). But perhaps Darien, Georgia ain’t a hotbed of competition, either.