Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Monday, March 26

Monday, March 26

The original Book of Mormon was published on this date in 1830. Young men with conservative haircuts and terrifyingly white teeth have been regretting the invention of the bicycle, the doorbell, and patent leather every since.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC 8pm) The couples perform the jive or the quickstep.

I wonder who’s going to slip a nip this year?

The Voice (NBC 8pm) The Final Battles: Team members perform dueling duets, after which each coach must decide which vocalist from the team will advance to the live shows.

It would simplify things for the judges if the contestants had to fight with light sabers while they sang.

Alcatraz (Fox 8pm) Season Finale: Rebecca and Doc close in on a man who might have information about all the returning criminals; Hauser makes an important discovery; Rebecca ruthlessly pursues the man who killed her partner.

Alcatraz makes a valiant attempt to kinda-sorta tie up loose ends in case it doesn’t get renewed for a second season.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family 8pm) Amy admits to Ricky and her family that she is in no hurry to get married; Ben becomes interested in Dylan; Adrian and Grace move in together and attend summer school.

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the main character in this show still looks like a twelve-year-old?

Make It or Break It (ABC Family) Season Premiere: Episode — Smells Like Winner

I initially read that as “Smells Like Weiner,” and I was like, “Okay, ABC Family, you have finally gone too far!”

Being Human (SyFy 9pm) Episode: Don’t Fear the Scott

You should, however, fear the Scots.

Castle (ABC 10pm) When a bomb kills five people at a protest rally, Beckett and Castle try to solve the case by reconstructing the 47 seconds prior to the explosion.

Leave your ideas of what can be accomplished in 47 seconds in the comments.

Smash (NBC 10pm) The team deals with the workshop’s after-effects; Derek asks Karen to help him steal the show from Tom and Julia; Eileen’s daughter’s surprise visit forces her to deal with her ex-husband.

This show is finally getting legitimately interesting.

Bethenny Ever After (Bravo 10pm) The apartment remodeling moves forward with a couple hitches; Bethenny finds some riling news about her mother.

Bethenny’s mom has been talking smack about Bethenny publicly for years; I expect more tears than usual this episode.

Bad Girls Club: Las Vegas (Oxygen 10pm) The twins leave the house for good; the girls try to get Mimi to return to the house.

And there was much rejoicing.

What will you be watching tonight?