Top Chef Just Desserts: Toss That Cookie

Tonight’s Top Chef Just Desserts is brought to you by the letter C.  There’s gonna be crying, there’s gonna be cake, and there’s gonna be cookies.

That’s good enough for me!

We start out this week’s episode back at the pastry chefs’ apartment where Seth tells us he’s feeling pretty alienated.  Yes, it’s sad how telling all your fellow competitors to suck it can do that, isn’t it?  He doesn’t know what it will take to get back into everyone’s good graces.

These sit ups are for my mommy!

Honestly, he doesn’t really give a crap about getting back into the good graces he never had because he tells us he’s just going to cook his ass off.  He knows if he can make his best dish every single day he’s going to win every challenge.  I look forward to his next meltdown.

Meanwhile, Eric and Zac are up on the roof smoking and missing the Snow Queen.  Eric tells us the people he works with with be so proud of him for making it so far.  Yeah Eric, I’m sure they’d be proud of you for making it to round three!

Duuuudddde, I’ve been here for like forever.  Aren’t you proud of me?  I’m hungry.

They talk about how great the Snow Queen’s food tasted, and Eric says he’s happy that it’s not just about presentation, it’s also about flavor.  He tells us you can never be on high for too long because you’ll be on the bottom tomorrow.  And then he smokes another bowl before heading off to start the day.

They arrive at the kitchen and a table decorated with flute glasses and other wedding nonsense and Sylvia Weinstock standing with Gail.

Has anyone seen my glasses?

Danielle tells us that Sylvia is a genius with wedding cakes so she knows this challenge is going to have something to do with that.  Gail introduces Sylvia and Sylvia talks about how it’s important for a cake to look beautiful, but also TASTE beautiful; the flavors have to sing to you.  Sylvia is as wise as her glasses are goofy.

For this quickfire the pastry chefs will be designing a wedding cake.  Yigit tells us he takes great pride in creating wedding cakes and it takes days and weeks to make one.  Weeks?  Isn’t that counterproductive to the whole flavors must sing to you thing if the cake is weeks old?  No worries about stake cake here though; Gail tells them they are going to have an hour and half for this challenge.

Have you been hanging out with Eric again, Gail?

Actually, Zac thinks she’s on something stronger than weed; he thinks Gail has been snorting buttercream.  Oh no!  Not that!  Next thing you know she’ll be shooting simple syrup.

There is some good news here; the chefs will not have to actually bake the cakes.  They’re being provided with pre-baked sheet cakes that they will have to infuse with flavor and decorate.  Sylvia tells them it’s an opportunity for them to show her how creative they can be in an hour and a half.

Oh Sylvia, I’m gonna get creative all over your ass!

Eric is excited because decorating cakes was like the first job he had as a kid.  So this should be a piece of one, right?  The winner gets immunity, and…….go!

The chefs run around gathering their supplies and Malika tells us she doesn’t make wedding cakes so she’s not sure what she’s going to do.  BandAidHeather is recently engaged, so she’s hoping all the thinking she’s been doing about wedding cakes will give her an advantage.  She tells us that typically you’ll see buttercream and fondant used for wedding cakes, but fondant just tastes like sugar so she’s adding syrup to the cake to give it flavor.

Mmmmmm…..syrup is my favorite!

Danielle pops up to tell us that wedding cakes should be visually appealing, but it kinda kills it if it tastes like crap.  Awww, come on Danielle; the crappier the cake tastes the more fun it is to mash into someone’s face!  Right?  Let’s check in with Seth.

He tells us he knows he can’t make a wedding cake so he’s not even going to try.  He’s going to just make something delicious to eat and tell them sorry it’s not a wedding cake.  He’s going to cook his kind of food, and he believes that that’s going to make him win.

My mommy said always be true to yourself

Danielle is not shocked to hear Seth talking about how he’s never made a wedding cake before, but she does think it’s bullshit that he’s not even going to try.  Yeah, I gotta agree with her on that one.

AsianHeather tells us that she made her own wedding cake when she got married; she wasn’t going to trust something so important to someone else.  Why am I not surprised by this?

If  could sew I’d have made my own gown too.

More cake chaos ensues as Eric realizes he doesn’t have enough buttercream to cover all the cake he has, Yigit is worried about finishing on time, and Malika’s frosting is not setting correctly.  Gail comes in with the five minute warning, and looks of panic spread throughout the room.

At this point Malika knows she’s not going to be able to finish, but she’s doing her best to have something to present to Sylvia.  As she adds one of the layers to her cake she realizes it’s off center.  Instead of leaving it and trying to sell that aspect of it, she tries to remove the layer to reposition it, and takes a chunk of the bottom layer off with the top.

But that’s not the only thing Malika has to deal with; as she’s trying to fix her cake, Crazy Morgan is yelling at her for shaking the table, and has renamed her shaky.  I get why he doesn’t want the table shaking; he’s sharing with her and he doesn’t want his cake to get fucked up, but there’s nicer way to go about that don’t you think?

Never mind; I forgot who we’re talking about

I am proud of Malika here because she stands up to Crazy Morgan, telling him she has a name and to not call her shaky.  You go girl!  Time is up!  AsianHeather thinks that there are a lot of hideous wedding cakes in this kitchen, and Malika’s in tears wihle Seth consoles her by telling her not to be him.

Was your cake for your mommy?

Before we get into the actual cakes I have to say that Malika’s crying is nothing like Seth’s tears from last week.  She’s not making a spectacle of herself; hers seem to be more of the “my eyes are leaking and I don’t know how to stop them” variety.  She tells us she can’t control the tears.  Poor thing; she always looks so sad, doesn’t she?

Anyway, let’s move along to Sylvia and the wedding cakes.  BandAidHeather is up first.

With Frosty’s wedding cake.

It’s kind of blah for my taste, but I guess a boring couple getting married in winter might love it.  Gail asks if she’s married, and BandAidHeather tells her she’s engaged.  Sylvia advises against making her own wedding cake, and I wonder if it’s because this one is not so great or because she thinks the bride should be focused on being the bride.

Are terrycloth headbands making a comeback?

Sorry, there was no real point to that picture other than the fact that stupidity must be pointed out in order for other people to avoid it.  Moving right along!  Eric is next.

With his leaning tower of cake-sa

Wow.  For someone who’s been doing this his whole life, I really expected more.  It’s so sloppy looking, and I’m not sure that apricot and pistachios are two tastes that go together.  Gail gives him an “Mmmm”, but I’m not sure if that’s a “This is so yummy” mmmm, or an “I can’t believe how nasty pistachios and apricots are together” mmmm.

The move over to Zac’s station.

He has designed a wedding cake for Edward Scissorhands

It’s just how we imagined it

He tells Gail and Sylvia that he’s made wedding cakes before, but not anything that’s been this out there.  Sylvia tells him that being out there is the way you grow.  Have I said yet that I am loving Sylvia?  No?  I am.

They move on, but before we get to the next chef we check in with Malika.  Now her cake is starting to fall apart.  Literally.  A big chunk of it has fallen off and plopped down on her table.  She tells us she’s starting to feel like she’s not loving cooking while she’s here.  Yeah, I wouldn’t be loving cooking either as my cake was falling to pieces.

Time for Erika.

Are those lobsters on the cake?

What are those strange decorations?  The picture doesn’t do it justice because you miss the top which looks like she’s shoved oreos into it.  Honestly, Erika’s cake looks better than most, but sounds completely unappetizing to me since she’s soaked it in mocha.

Danielle’s next.  She’s must be missing the Snow Queen because it looks like

She’s decided to continue his tradition by making a wedding cake for The Exorcist.

Either that or her cake has gangrene.  She tells them she made it green because that’s what she would do for herself.  “Oh, you’re getting married?” Sylvia asks her.  Nope.

I haven’t found my Popeye yet.

Seth is next with his engagement cake.

Served with a side of tumor and cottage cheese

What the fuck is that curdled white stuff on the side?  Gross.  Of course he goes through his schpiel that he doesn’t know how to make a big wedding cake so he decided to totally ignore the challenge and do what he wanted to do instead.  In fact, it’s his favorite dessert that he’s made since he’s been here.

Zac thinks that Seth is an embarrassment to pastry chefs everywhere because he didn’t even try to do the wedding cake challenge for Sylvia.  Huh.  I would have chosen last’s week’s hysterical mommy red hot incident, but then again, I’m not a pastry chef so what do I know?  Gail wants to know why he didn’t even bother to attempt a wedding cake.

My mommy doesn’t make me do anything I don’t want to do

Your mommy needs to give you a good spanking

Sylvia is not happy that he didn’t bother to try.  She says he should have at last made an effort.  You tell him Sylvia!

Yigit is next.

And he’s topped his cake with a quarter of a cake?

I don’t get it.  Sylvia says it’s nice and light before moving on to AsianHeather’s.

Her does look the best so far

I mean, it’s boring looking but at least it look like something you’d spend more than forty dollars on.  Sylvia thinks it’s summery.

It’s Crazy Morgan’s turn, and I hate to admit it but

His cake looks pretty damn good as well

Also, coconut rum?  Yum.  Sylvia asks him what he thinks about wedding cakes and he replies that he absolutely adores hers.  Brown noser.

They finally reach Malika’s station and she starts tearing up again as soon as Gail asks what happened.  AsianHeather tells us that there is a time and a place to show emotions, and she doesn’t know what’s going on with Malika and Seth, but SHE’S never been this upset about a dessert not coming out.

Okay, first of all, shut it AsianHeather.  I certainly wouldn’t compared Seth’s histrionics last week with Malika’s silent crying.  It’s real easy to be all judgy judgy when you haven’t had a complete failure of a dessert yet.  She is really irritating me.  We don’t get a pretty picture of Malika’s cake.

Cakeocolypse

She apologizes to Sylvia for not being able to complete her cake, and then tells her about the flavors.  Sylvia wants to taste it.  Gail confirms that Malika has never made a cake before and Sylvia continues to be awesome by telling her she can learn from this.

Time for the results.  In the bottom are Seth for not bothering to even try, Malika for making a deliciously disastrous cake, and Eric because his icing was sloppy and his layers uneven.  Eric tells us this is the most embarrassing moment of his life.  Yes, the horror of uneven layers!  He has brought shame to his bakery!

The top three are Erika for her nice detail work and delicious flavors, Crazy Morgan for a clean and fresh looking cake, and AsianHeather for a lovely and delicate cake.  The one Sylvia thinks she would want to use for a wedding is……

Erika’s!  Yay!

AsianHeather is SOOOOO happy for her

AsianHeather maintains that it’s not a cake she would ever pick, forgetting for a moment that her name is AsianHeather and NOT Sylvia Weinstock.  No one really cares what you think Little Miss PissyPants.

Time to find out about the elimination challenge.  For this challenge they will be divided into teams by picking cookies from a cookie jar.  The cookies are labeled either Pep or Glee.  Here’s how the teams break out:  Team Pep is Malika, Crazy Morgan, Eric, Erika, and AsianHeather, and Team Glee is Seth, Danielle, BandAidHeather, Zac, and Yigit.  As you may imagine, Seth’s teammates are THRILLED to be working with him.

To explain the challenge Gail tells us they’ve invited some special guests.  This is followed by acapela singing and real life Gleeks entering the kitchen.

Zac tells us he was these kids in high school.  Why am I not surprised by that revelation?  I wish I could say their little song is awesome, but that would be lying and lying is wrong.  Seth’s mommy told me so.  They seem like a sweet bunch of kids though, so I’ll just say that they could use a little work.  No time to dwell on off key singing though because here comes the pep squad, aka cheerleaders.

And their scary ass mascot

Seriously, what the fuck is that supposed to be?  He’s like the Burger King’s scary cousin that joined the Navy or something.

So the cheerleaders are hoping to go to cheerleading camp this summer, and the Rainbow Riders, aka Gleeks want to go to New York to perform.  Their elimination challenge will be to throw a bake sale for their respective teams, with the winners being the team that earns the most money for their squads.

AsianHeather is excited for this challenge because, she tells us, she was a geek in high school.

And ten years old, it would seem.

They have three hours to bake in this kitchen, and then thirty minutes to prep on site.  The way it’s going to work is that the school will give out 490 tickets, and the team with the most tickets at the end of the bake sale will win.  Not only will their kids win the trips they are working for, but the winning team will win $5,000 for them to share.

They split into their teams to strategerize and Seth tells his team he’s thinking about doing a financier which is some fancy schmancy cake made for French financiers.  Sounds like kids are sure to love it, right?  Zac wants to do strawberry shortcake, Yigit says he’s doing some sort of chocolate cream, and BandAidHeather wants to do whoopie pies.

Danielle points out that if Yigit is doing something chocolate and marshmallow and she’s doing something chocolate and marshmallow that’s like the same thing.  She tells BandAidHeather she should do a cookie.  She doesn’t want to do a cookie.  They have to have a cookie. She gives in to cookie pressure and settles on doing a peanut butter cookie.  Zac tells her to make sure she does something interesting with it though.

Erika has confidence in her team.  After all, they have Eric the baker, and she tells us she had her own business in elementary school called Erika’s treats.  She’s doing her family’s recipe of a chocolate chip walnut cookie.

Because I’m too lazy to type out what everyone else is making.

Eric is really excited that it’s a bake sale challenge, but he’s also still upset about how badly he did in the wedding cake challenge.  He tells us he cannot lose on the bake sale challenge.  And not in the cocky way, in the “I will never be able to show my face again” way.

He hits a snag though when he finds out that BandAidHeather has snagged all the peanut butter in the pantry for use in her peanut butter cookies.  He needs peanut butter too!  Well, she’s not sure how much she’s going to need, so she took it all.  There’s a big hulabaloo over the peanut butter, and so Crazy Morgan decides to steal all the butter from the fridge.  He announces to the room that when someone wants to share peanut butter then they can have the butter back.  How old is he, twelve?

I understand why Eric isn’t thrilled that BandAidHeather snagged all  the peanut butter, but that’s not really the same as taking all the butter.  In the end it doesn’t really matter since it looks like everyone’s already got all the butter they need, but it was still a dick move.

Once BandAidHeather is done measuring out her peanut butter, she turn the remainder over to Eric who does not have enough for his rice krispie treats, so he decides (with help from AsianHeather) to use Nutella as well. Way to work the problem guys!

Meanwhile, Seth is talking to himself about the fact that he has no time to brown his butter and browned butter is a must for a financier.

What would mommy do?

He tells us he feels pretty misunderstood by his team.  I think he has misunderstood the meaning of misunderstood.  Perhaps he’s confused it with reviled and hated.  That’s actually a common mistake.

Yay!  They’ve put up Team Glee’s menu as well.

Just when you think things may be going well, Seth let’s out an “Oh no!”  It seems that he’s mixed up coffee and vanilla extract so his financiers are going to be coffee flavored.  Because kids love coffee.  Well, as long as there are cigarettes around as well.

Hand me one of them financiers will ya?

Here comes Johnny Nagerelli!  He stops to visit with Eric first and thinks that the substitution of Nutella for peanut butter might be a good one.  He’s a little concerned about Zac’s strawberry shortcakes, and gives Malika a pep talk about staying focused.  And with that, he’s outta there.

I gotta go buy more gel.  See ya tomorrow!

There’s last minute running around, and then time is up.  Yigit announces that he just shit his pants.

Didn’t want y’all to think it was my chocolate pudding

Back at the apartment, Malika is pondering what cooking actually means to her.  She’s not sure she wants to stay in the competition, and is thinking about leaving.  She tells AsianHeather that she’s not happy cooking in this environment, but AsianHeather tells her she should stick it out.

In another area of the apartment the douchenozzle twins are having a talk.  Seth tells Crazy Morgan that the one thing he is confident in is his palate.  Crazy Morgan tells us he likes Seth, but thinks he’s at a crazy time in his life and that he doesn’t understand a lot about himself.

Someday he’ll be a real live boy.

The next day the chefs arrive at St Monica’s for the bake sale.  They get right to prepping for the sale, and it’s here that we see how the bake sale is actually going to work.  They’ve prepared little tasters of the desserts for the kids and teachers to try, and then they will decide which dessert they want to buy and hand over a ticket for that item.

Ready?  Okay!

The kids arrive and the tasting and selling begins.  Zac really wants to win this one because he was slammed into the lockers all through middle school.  As a former theatre fag I have to say I am also routing for Team Glee because I’d love to see the cheerleaders go down.  Well, go down in a different way from what they normally do!

Danielle is bitching about Seth, saying he told them he can’t interact with the kids or he’ll cuss too much or something.  She’s annoyed, but I think she should be happy he’s removed himself.  Of course, I’m fairly certain the kids can still hear him dropping the f-bomb so the plan isn’t really working too well, is it?

Fuck!

The judges arrive and we’re back to having Dumbass Dannielle instead of YouBear.  Blech!  Thankfully Sylvia has stuck around for this challenge, so hopefully she’ll balance out Dumbass Dannielle’s stupid remarks.  They head over to Team Pep first, and gather up the goodies to try.

Erika’s cookie is ready to shank someone.

She tells them that her recipe is a family one, and she thought this was the perfect time to share it with them.  Eric presents his krispy treats.

No surprise here

Poor Crazy Morgan, looks like mice pooed all over his cupcakes.

He informs the judges that they’ve gotten the last two cupcakes in existence.  I guess the mice ate all the rest and just pooped on these two.  Malika’s presents her ginormous brownie

And AsianHeather presents her cookie

Looks more like a pop tart, if ya ask me.

While the judges head over to a table to sample Team Pep’s desserts, we check in with a couple of cheerleaders who tell us how they’ll get to go to cheer camp if they win and they haven’t been able to do that and it will be so exciting if they do.

The judges all rave about Erika’s cookie, and Gail and Sylvia are both digging the rice krispie treats.  Dumbass Dannielle opines that you can’t have a bake sale without brownies, and Johnny is happy to see a little texture in there.  No word no what they thought of Crazy Morgan’s cupcake, but the kids seem to like it.

Either that or the priest just stopped by for a visit

The judges head over to Team Glee to see what they have to offer.

Zac’s strawberry shortcake is looking less like shortcake and more like week old biscuit

While BandAidHeather went with the classic Peanut Blahtter Cookie

She’s still bitching and moaning about the fact that she didn’t get to do the whoopie pie.  Get over it!   Yigit presents his chocolate pudding

With square marshmallows

Since when is glass such a good idea for a bake sale?

While Danielle presents cannibal cupcakes.

Is anyone else grossed out by the fleshy tone of her icing?  And of course Seth presents his coffee infused financier

And it looks like the mice have gotten into his dessert as well.

Hey!  Hold on!  Don’t be talking about my ashtray like that!

There’s a little talk from some random kids about how Team Glee is going to win, but no word from the rainbow riders themselves.

Over at the judges’ table they’re digging in to Zac’s strawberry cardboard cake and watching it fall apart.  The judges no likey, but several kids say it’s the best.  They thinks Yigit’s chocolate pudding is WAY gingery.

What’s the matter?  You don’t like the gingers?

Dumbass Dannielle doesn’t feel like Seth gave them a bake sale item, and Sylvia agrees saying it’s too sophisticated.  They think Danielle’s fleshcakes are too dry, and the peanut blahtter cookies are judged to be too boring.

Time to find out who wins.  Gail and the principal stand into front of the kids and and Gaill announces it was super close; only ten tickets separated the winners from the losers.  Team Glee has 240 tickets.  And since she already told us that there were 490 total, we all know that means

The cheerleaders win.  Shocker.

sad horns

Awww, I feel really bad for Team Glee. You know they have to put up with the cheerleader’s crap all the time; and now they can’t even get a winning pastry chef team.

Don’t be too sad Gleeks, Gail announces that they’re going to add another zero to each of the teams amounts so they can each do their thing.  Yay!  But that’s not all, they’re also going to donate $5,000 to the high school. BandAidHeather is bummed that the Gleeks get to go to New York while the chefs have to go to judges’ table.  Wah wah wah.

In our snippet clip of the week we hear about how all the girls get the gigglies about Crazy Morgan; apparently they all think he’s SOOOOO cute.  Barf.

Did you see the size of his spirit stick?

I think I just grossed myself out.

So, let’s head over to judges’ table, okay?  As usual, we’re starting with the winning team.  Gail asks how they enjoyed the bake sale.  They loved it; Eric tells them that they worked great together as a team and had a great time.  Gail points out that even though the won as a team, there can only be one overall winner.

And it is not Johnny’s shirt.

It’s down to three desserts:  Eric’s rice krispie treats, Malika’s brownies, and Erika’s cookies.  The judges rave about their various dishes, and Malika gives credit to Eric for the base recipe for her brownies while Sylvia tells Erika she wants the recipe for her cookies.

Sylvia says all their desserts were delicious and she wishes she could pick all five of them as winner.  But since she has to pick one person, that person is…….

Hooray!  The baked baker wins the bake sale!

He’s thrilled of course, and he’s happy to have validation as a baker.  As the winning team heads back to the stew room Sylvia says she still wants that recipe!

I’ll hunt you down if I have to!

Time for the losers to face judgment.  Just like with the winning team, Gail asks them how it was to work together.  Danielle says it went better than expected, although some people had more of an impact than others.

And I really didn’t appreciate the comments about washing my hair

She continues, saying that four of them made a lot of stuff and really interacted with the kids, and Seth did not.  She says he did what he always does and that’s if it’s not his thing he doesn’t make an effort. Surprisingly (to me at least), Zac jumps to his defense saying that he thinks Seth did a great job of stepping up and prepping all their desserts.

He tells Seth he was so proud to be on a team with him.  Seth says that right until he got thrown under the bus he felt great about what he did, now he feels all oily and greasey.

See what I have to put up with?

Danielle says she’s always gonna be her greasey ass self and she’s always going to make her food and if someone wants to say she’s throwing them under the bus, that’s fine with her.  Probably because that’s exactly what she’s doing.  Seth asks Yigit what he thinks.  He says he thinks today they worked well together, but what happened today versus what happened yesterday were two totally different things.  Gail wonders what went wrong.

I wanted to do a whoopie pie and I didn’t get to do what I wanted.  I wish my mommy was here.

Shit, I want you to get a fucking haircut but it doesn’t look like that’s happening anytime soon either!  Yigit says no one forced her to do the cookie.  Y’all know I love Yigit, but I think he’s full of crap here.  Her team did pressure her into making a cookie instead of doing what she wanted to.  Did she have to give in to the pressure?  No, but no one was supportive of the whoopie pie idea.

Seth doesn’t understand why they have to do this; someone has to go home, why can’t they do this honorably?

My mommy told me to always be honorable while crying hysterically

I’m a dumbass so I don’t understand what’s happening here

Can we just cut the crap and get to the food?  Thanks!  Gail wants to start with Seth.  He says he was hoping to make something that the kids could get into that they had never had before.  Johnny says he has to stop thinking it’s his role to educate people about food.

That’s what I’m here for

That said, he thought Seth’s financier was perfect.  Does he think it was a great bake sale dessert?  Nope.  No more about that because it’s time to move on to BandAidHeather’s blah cookie.  Sylvia think the cookie itself was fine, just boring.  She thinks it didn’t show any creativity and she should have played around more with it.

Next they talk about how dry Danielle’s cannibal cupcakes were.  Johnny wonders if she ate the cupcake.  Yep, she sure did and she really liked it.  He thought it was dry.  Sylvia also thinks it was dry.

Sylvia thinks Zac’s strawberry shortcake was delicious but impossible to eat.  He says it was put in the to go containers so mom could give it to the kids in the back of the car.

Have you been smoking Eric’s weed?  No mom is going to let that loose in her car!

Johnny says he was really excited to see the biscuit dough yesterday, but they were a big disappointment today.  Zac concedes that they dried out overnight.  Yigit is blasted for his overuse of ginger in his chocolate pudding, and says he thinks the kids really enjoyed eating it.  Johnny puts that notion to rest by telling him his dessert sold the least of his entire team.

They head back to the stew room while the judges decide who is going home.  Back in the stew room BandAidHeather is trying to understand why half her team is against her.  Yigit is mad because she jumped in to try and defend herself before they even said anything.

Back at judges table Dumbass Dannielle talks about how dysfunctional this team is and that she was worried it was going to come to blows.  Oh, give me a break!

We jump back to the stew room where Yigit is saying it’s his first time in the bottom five, and BandAidHeather says she has never even been in front of the judges before.  Yigit thinks that is no excuse.  I am liking Yi less and less right now.

Please stop before I have to put you in the douchenozzle gang

The judges continue to talk, rehashing Yi’s overuse of ginger, Zac’s dry biscuit, and BandAidHeather’s cookie.  Dumbass Dannielle says you could almost taste the resentment in that cookie.  Have I mentioned that I hate her?

They move on to Seth’s financier, and Dumbass Dannielle thinks it was really inappropriate for a bake sale.  Johnny sticks up for Seth saying he is the one chef that consistently stretches; he never plays it safe.  Gail awesomely points out that sometimes it’s less that he’s not playing it safe and more that he ignores the challenge.

I will not be ignored

They rehash the dryness of Danielle’s cupcake, and Johnny points out that she had the same stance that Seth does; she cooked what she likes to cook.  End of story.  He says she can be true to herself all the way home.  Bwahahahaha!

This provides a nice segue into Seth and Danielle’s stew room bickering.  He thinks she set the tone by throwing him under the bus immediately.  She could give a rat’s ass what he thinks, and just so he knows she thinks he is a piece of shit.  And she thinks the way he treats everyone in this competition is bullshit.

I am soooo telling my mommy on you!

She thinks he should go home because he is a dick.  Yeah, ’cause that always happens on these shows!  He counters with a I cook better than you so nanny nanny boo boo.  Good.  Good! Ugh, can we stop this already and just find out who’s going home?

Even she is not surprised.

She’s not even surprised, and after what went down in the stew room I’m wondering if she’s just happy to get away from these psychos.  Oh, and get to ditch the bandaid.  She tells us she should have stayed true to herself and made the fucking whoopie pies.  Well, not exactly, but you get the point.

And that’s a wrap on this week’s episode.  What did you think, Gasmi?  Did you agree with BandAidHeather’s boot?  Do you wish Danielle would wash her hair?  Do you worry that Eric’s brownie base had a special ingredient added?

Next week, Seth is an ass.  Please try to contain your shock.   And someone collapses.  Not sure if the two are directly related.  I guess we’ll find out together!  See you there!

SWAK, PottyMouth

P.S. I have to apologize for the lateness of the recap yet again.  Life has been a little nutty, and I’m working on shifting some things around so I can get these out sooner.  Please have a little patience with me; I am working on getting these to you sooner, I promise.