Top Chef Masters Recap: School House Rock

Top Chef

By MisRed | Friday, September 21, 2012 | 2:18 pm | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Top Chef

The winner is: Chris and James and their prawns.

But Chris has won $5k for his charity The Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, bringing his total to $41,000. James, for his trouble, gets a lap-dance from Patricia’s mole.  You thought the mole got voted off WITH Patricia, didn’t you?

Kerry says “It not for the portion thing, we would have won.” Well, jackhole, we’ll never know because… you DID have a portion problem stemming from a COMMUNICATION problem on your part, Kerry.

Moving on to the Elimination Challenge… Curtis says “The key to a successful kitchen is having GREAT communication skills.” He goes on to say that over 200 Las Vegas schools don’t meet progress standards in education. (Wait… people actually LIVE in Las Vegas? They allow kids there??? – don’t comment that I suck, I’m just kidding, of course I know kids live in Las Vegas.) To fight this epidemic Southwest Career and Technical Academy created a program to help fix this- they have an Introduction to Culinary Arts Program.

For the Elimination Challenge, each Chef will be paired with two “stars” from the culinary program. The students will create and cook a dish, then the Chefs will need to taste it and partner with the students to interpret and elevate their dish to “master level.” The catch is , the Chefs will have to INSTRUCT the students, but they are not permitted to cook the dish for do any prep work.

Ok, they didn’t really explain this challenge very well, in my opinion.

In an interview Lorena says, incredulously, “I’m putting my chance to go to the finals in the hands of kids?!?!! This is very scary.”

The student’s “elevated” dishes will be served to the judges, a few teachers from their school, and their parents. The winner receives $10k for their charity and a ticket to the Finals.

The Chefs have to draw knives to choose their students.

Lorena pulls her knife and kills Kerry and Chris making her the winner of Top Chef Masters. Wow. I did NOT see that coming. Thanks for reading my recaps all season!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding.
Lorena is paired with Joseph (JoJo) and Jhane
Chris is paired with Lacey and Emilio
Kerry is paired with Brittany and Erwin

The Chefs pack up and leave and the students come in to cook their dishes.

 The Chefs return to meet the students and sample their dishes.

Hi, I like pina coladas and gettin’ caught in the rain

Nice to meet you.  I’m your worst nightmare. 

If you screw this up for me I will pop a cap in your ass 

I already threatened HER, now it’s YOUR turn 

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MisRed
About

Misred is an East Coast Gal and a jack of all trades.  Project Manager, Trained Chef, Amateur Writer, Professional Mocker, Devoted Wife and Mother of Furry Kids (dogs, not werewolves).  I spend my time doing all of the above, as well as making the necessary preparations for my eventual and eternal damnation in the fiery pits of hell.  I take comfort in knowing I'll have friends there... like Satan.

Check out my blog www.meabritapitandanitwit.wordpress.com

12 Comments

  1. 1
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I loved how, even though this was Lorena’s favorite challenge yet, the first thing she does when she gets eliminated is to throw those kids under the bus, saying that it was unfortunate that she got sent home on a dish that she didn’t cook herself. Maybe she would have won if she had put some cilantro on the lasagna….I’m so glad she is finally gone!

    Great recap, MissRED!

  2. 2
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    ….ooops! sorry, MisRed :)

  3. 3
    MisRed MisRed
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    JimmyT- no worries- I’ve been called MUCH worse… And daily.

  4. 4
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    And she loved it so much and yet was the only one who didn’t seem interested in bonding with the kids. Kerry emphasized teaching technique and choosing better ingredients so his was a practical demonstration, Chris went intellectual and really taught the kids about how all the ingredients should work together and Lorena…taught them how to make a cream sauce.

    She’s awful and I had a moment of panic when James kept whining about Chris’ wilted salad and it being “too simple.” Thankfully they realized they couldn’t have the Executive Cheft at Taco Bell in the finale and dumped her.

    Also she didn’t lose because of the kids. The dish was perfectly prepared so they did what she needed them to do. She lost because of her own lack of imagination, not because she couldn’t “cook her own food.”

  5. 5
    niknakflipflop niknakflipflop
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Slow-fucking-clap to MisRed. That was an absolutely hilarious recap! Thank you!

  6. 6
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Anne Burrell? Chris was totally Art Alexakis.

  7. 7
    Dawn
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Love the Wolverine cover!

  8. 8
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    @valleygirl – I was afraid that Chris was going to go home too. LG has a bunch of connections to the TV culinary industry and I think that Bravo may have caved a little and kept her around to give her more exposure. It sure seems like other reality competition shows are going more and more in that direction instead of making it completely fair competition. I’d like to think that Top Chef is above that kind of thing, but LG totally seems like a one-note chef and I can’t believe that she stuck around as long as she did.

    Also, James has been getting on my nerves lately. How I wish there were some twist in the finals where they also get rid of one of the judges.

  9. 9
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Excellent Recap – Hubby Butterfly and I both said that if Chris went home, we just weren’t watching Top Chef Masters anymore. You’d have never convinced me that Lorena deserved to stay over Chris. Ever. EVER.

    Taco Bell… Hmph…

  10. 10
    zerocool
    Posted September 22, 2012 at 9:18 am

    I didn’t think Lorena was as bad as you all do, but I agree with Vallegirl that it was a true lack of imagination in transforming the lasagna into something more high-end that did her in. But if they were judging them on how well the kids were taught, Kerry would be last. He was terrible. Those poor kids!

    Hoping Chris takes the title.

  11. 11
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    If Curtis was actually The Grim Reaper, nobody would fear death. I would actually probably have killed myself by now.
    Speaking of which, I almost choked to death on my cookie because of that thing about Patricia’s mole still being in the competition.

    And I loved loved loved seeing Chris with those kids. His approach to them was so nice…I wish I could live in his house and he could talk to me about food all day. But I wanted to kick Kerry’s teeth in, and it really annoyed me how when they went to present, he was all shaking them telling them to relax, like he was some friendly guy. If it wasn’t for him being up their asses the entire challenge, they wouldn’t be so damn tense. I hated how he spoke to Ruth in the quickfire too. And the way he talks in confessional, with one side of his face turned to camera is so annoying. He just really chaps my hide and I hope that Chris beats the pants off him in the finale.

    But I’m so happy that Lorena is gone, I’m going to have a dinner party at Taco Bell.
    Cantina Bowls for everyone!
    And then we can come back to my house and have dessert…I make a mean cilantro ice cream, and my cilantro cupcakes are to die for. I even have a nice cilantro buttercream that I put on them.

  12. 12
    annespan65
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    AWESOME recap. I think the “Lorena Garcia report to the Drive Thru, your 15 minute break is over” pic with caption will be my new screensaver!

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