Top Chef: Pissing Off The Mafia

77 Comments

1. 1
   Libithina
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm

   After This episode, I’m dying to know Dale. What must his world be like? He’s a small Filipino gangsta who gets his Masters receiving girlfriend a graffiti art piece? Hilarious and weird. I’m pretty sure he and his lady would look down on me all judgmental like, but once they got to know me I’m sure they would realize how amazing I am

2. 2
   Rebecca Fialkowski
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 5:24 pm

   Ok had to stop reading to comment – on page 10 and WOW second pic of u! I LIKEY – the pic on page 10- SEXY!! Ok gonna calm down – finish my vodka and finish reading – but so far i havnt stopped laughing out loud! U r the best! TY

3. 3
   vallegirl
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 5:24 pm

   Angelo was the one who congratulated Antonia when the others went to JT. Blais, even though he had immunity and couldn’t lose, couldn’t be assed to congratulate her.

   And while this isn’t an excuse for the behavior, I watched Moonen’s video on making Antonia’s dish and not only was it the shortest video this season at only 4 min. 40 seconds, it was almost in real time. The only edit was while the mussels were cooking for about five minutes. Everything else, including prepping the produce, was done in the video in under five minutes. That was literally a 10 minute dish and she since she didn’t make the bread, I think they were all just a little stunned initially.

4. 4
   notwithoutmytv
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

   >>>>>After This episode, I’m dying to know Dale. What must his world be like?

   His world looks like rage. And impotence.

5. 5
   Zbird
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 6:02 pm

   …but, you didn’t trip over the tulle and you looked fabulous! Is it just me who cannot stop staring at the drag queen’s crotch? So curious.

   Kitties are adorbs, as always, you’re adorbs, as always, and it sounds like you had a blast with Flipit, B-Side, and the gang. Is your BF in any of those photos or videos? Or is your BF really *dun dun dun* Fleeepiiit?

   Your recap had me rolling and nodding along with you the whole way. You are truly one-of-a-kind, sir. You entertain in so many ways. So giving.

   I am bummed that Tre went home over Piggie — I really thought it was Isabella’s time to hit the trail. I’m half Italian and I know that if I made crappy pasta my family would disown me — even the German half! I was happy for Antonia, but I thought that Fabio would take it. It seems like they were really rewarding those who listened to the “keep it simple, stupid” instructions.

   Love love love!!! ~ Z

6. 6
   zerocool
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm

   Having watched many seasons of Hell’s Kitchen, I can say with confidence that I’m now an expert in how risotto is supposed to look like on tv. Gordon Ramsey would’ve definitely called Tre a bloody donkey. But being italian myself, there is no excuse for fucking up pasta. None. SPS “grew up” learning/cooking/eating it – and he can’t make it – ridiculous.

   I thought Fabio should’ve won. His food looked yummy. But Antontia’s dish could’ve easily been overcooked or overpowered by sauce, imo. So kudos to her.

   And I’ve never eaten at Rao’s, though I would love to try even the Las Vegas one – I have their cookbook and it’s super good stuff.

   BTW great recap as always J-Mo. My favorite line: “Poor Sexist, I don’t think he intended to, but he’s got a new boyfriend.”

7. 7
   Jimbob Jones
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 7:48 pm

   From the blogs, it looks like ALL of Tre’s dish sucked (even if the risotto was perfectly cooked, the garnish and seasoning still would have been bad), while only the pasta in Pigshit’s dish was bad.

   Plus Tre made the deadly mistake of not knowing what he did wrong, which is almost always the deal breaker in TC.

   I think the right guy went home, as much as it pains me to say it.

8. 8
   Derek Hazelton
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm

   Tre’s boring and fucked up what the judges considered an easy dish in an overall course that was awful. Both Sexist and rageful Dale had better bodies of work this season (winning challenges and immunities) and are both better television (in terms of drama). So, Tre was the sacrificial lamb. IMHO Sexist should have gone home, because he lied in the stew room about cooking his pasta al dente, when that was accidental because he ran out of time. His ego should have gotten him eliminated, especially on a challenge where he had a cultural advantage (like Dale and the dim sum challenge a few weeks ago.)

   Also, side note since Lorraine Bracco was judge: fuck “The Sopranos.” In terms of quality HBO dramas, “The Wire” and “Six Feet Under” are better complete stories and are vastly superior to that stereotypical melodrama that passed for entertainment. Maybe it’s just my taste, but give me a gritty, complex crime drama or a fucked up family over Mob bullshit any day of the week.

   J-Mo, you’re sexy! Call me….

9. 9
   vallegirl
   Posted February 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

   And she did talk about The Sopranos. One of the other diners made a comment about getting therapy and it was mentioned in either Tom’s or Bourdain’s blog that she talked about both Goodfellas and The Sopranos, but obviously because of Pesci, Goodfellas was germane to the episode.

10. 10
    Jess
    Posted February 7, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    “radioactive vomeet”

    OH. MY. GOD. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

11. 11
    j.smartypants
    Posted February 7, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    J-Mo, you are such a hottie, if I were of the gay male persuasion I would snap you UP! Props on realizing that Isaac Mizrable looks exactly like Syndrome, bwahahahahaha! That was classic! BTW, did Blazehawk’s winning dish like a pile of used fish tank gravel, or is it just me? It was either that or asphalt. Gross.

12. 12
    dallashockeymom
    Posted February 7, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    Eye-Sack = Syndrome. FUNNIEST LINE EVER!!!! Better have Eye-Sack watch out for capes!

13. 13
    MasTequila
    Posted February 7, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    Is it me, but does anyone notice how when Lorraine Bracco is a guest, all she talks about is herself, her films, her Italian-ness, blah blah blah. Nearly every sentence somehow manages to steer back to HER. I found her to be really self absorbed in every epi she’s been in. I’d stab myself in the throat if I had to dine with her.

14. 14
    MasTequila
    Posted February 7, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    I knew the Pig One wasn’t going when they said his sauce was good (dammitdammitdammit). To answer you J-Mo: I just don’t see how Rao’s is THAT great to merit the exclusivity. It’s a gimmick IMO. I married an Italian with a very Italian family and Italian food is not hard to make, nor expensive (so WTF about restaurants that charge a fortune for it?). And the judges are right, it’s really about simplicity and making the ingredients sing. Less is more, hence Antonia’s win. Didn’t surprise me at all, in fact, her’s was the one I most wanted to eat.

    I just LOVE your doctored pics! Hilarious! Great recap as always, and I’m prolly inviting a hit here, I like your recaps better than Flipit’s (love ya tho!) and was crushed you didn’t do RW and the Monkey Elim. It would have been awesome. XOXOXOXO

15. 15
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 4:17 am

    Well… it looks like everyone has already said the things about the episode that I wanted to say. So instead I will say: J-Mo you are a sexy Mo-Fo. I love when you give us videos of the performances. I usually spend my time watching you dance but I will admit my eyes did stray to the queen’s crotch a few times in this one. I think there must have been a lot to tuck! Which reminds me of Drag Race and that queen who wore nothing but the ass-iltoe. Does she have the smallest peen known to creation? Or just some sort of extra body cavity to stick it in?

16. 16
    Angela Parisi LaRoe
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 6:03 am

    Great recap J-Mo! I loved the kitty porn and the TVgasm porn as well!

17. 17
    LAC
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    While, i agree that Tre might have fucked up the risotto, I do not think his body of work on Top Chef ‘s has been a miss and at least he doesn’t call himself a “beast” ( a la KenEgo) or bray on and on some fucking donkey about how great he is – like Mike Pigshit Sexist Dickwad Isabella!!!!!!!! And the fact that he was nice to look at and had a cute belly laugh did not hurt.

    I am glad the ladies scored on this one. I do not think that undercooked pasta with a decent sauce should skirt by? And really Isabella’s work on the show is better than Trey’s? What show are you watching. The only way I would know about Isablimp’s work is by hearing that jackass bring it up. He has been a solid “meh” for most of the season.

    Count me as confused as J-Mo as to Joe Pesci scoring a table at Rao…really? Next you will be telling me that DeNiro got in….

    Sorry, had to get the anger out first… J-Mo – loved your funny recap, your adorable kitty porn, and your pix of you and of the recapping gang,

18. 18
    malianomaly
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    trey was eye candy geniuses! and a good chef, but for me that was beside the point.

19. 19
    malianomaly
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    lac, i concur!!!

20. 20
    PottyMouth
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    J-Mo,

    As always you have delivered a STELLAR and fucking HILARIOUS recap. Love you, love you, love you.

    I was pissed as hell that Sexist Pigshit didn’t get sent home. For Chrissake, he served raw pasta! Plus, I hate him, so obviously he should have been sent home.

    I was really happy for Antonia; the pic of her cooking with her dad in the kitchen reminded me of my own family. Ah, memories; Italians ones always seem to revolve around food.

    Anyway, thanks again for a fantastic recap and the new video! Maybe someday I can haul my ass out to the West coast and finally get to hang out with you guys.

    SWAK, Pottymouth

21. 21
    Bridget Miller
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    What I like about this season is that you get to see that the chefs are performing in much the same way that they had during their season, so when the chefs claim that the judges were wrong or they lost on technicality those remarks aren’t necessarily true. Now that we get to see them cook again. It seems that judging was pretty much on the mark. For example: Mike Isabelle. During his season he was an average cook and was as @LAC put it- he is just “meh”. He is preforming exactly as he did during his season. He is getting buy only because someone else was slightly worse than he was and not because he is a talented chef. Some of the chefs didn’t make it as far as they did the first time around like Bunny Foo, Turkey Douche Nozzle, and Bitter Jen, but for the most part the chefs are cooking much like they did on originally.

    I guess I could get all paranoid and conspiracy minded and say that the judges are trying to follow the choices they made in seasons before, but that just seems too complex and difficult for it to be true. Now to do some bitching about the Quick Fire. What kind of bullshit was that? They only got Eye Sack to judge in a lame attempt to get people to watch that crap fashion show he hosts. He didn’t even try to appear impartial and totally judge the fabulous Orange One more harshly because he was inspired by a designer that wasn’t Eye Sack. It was bullshit. Also why didn’t any of the chefs listen when they were told that it would be super, awesome, fantastic (even) if they used dry pasta.

    I am getting tired of the team challenges. Not that this episode was one, but I think that the team challenges have been unfair. It seems that the people that volunteer to actually be apart of the team and to help out their teammates are the ones that are getting sent home. I am not sure why they are ever put on teams because they are almost always judge based on the individual performances. It makes sense to split them into teams for Restaurant Wars especially since a chef is not just someone that can cook, but also needs to be able to demonstrate leadership abilities and rally the troops in support of their vision. The other team challenges seem to be a bit unfair and the chefs that volunteer to help the team are the ones that end up getting pulled away from cooking their own dishes and this, generally, become a huge disavantage, so the ones that are actually working as a team wind up getting screwed.

    Anyway. Not too, too sure what the hell I am rambling about, but J-MO it is great to have you back. Flipit was an excellent as your place holder and I am glad that you were able to take a vaca with the BF even if the details of the trip caused some feelings of jealously. It sounds like you got to hang out with the coolest, most hilarious kids in school and they got to hang out with one of the funniest recappers/awesomest dancers. (That would be you, not your BF) Freaking hilarious recap as always. My favorite part of your recaps is when you give us a little glimpse behind the curtain into your personal life.

    I was wondering who you think is going to make it to the end? I can take a guess at who you are rooting for, but was interested in who you think has the best chance of winning. I thought that it would be completely obvious by now, but the fact that Fabio and Sexist Pigshit are still around, beating out way more talented chefs, which is making it hard to predict who is going to last.

    I am hoping for the finals to be between: Beeker, the Orange One, and either LoSoFat or Dale. I am not rooting for Dale because of his personality, but he does seem like a talented chef. I am crossing my toes and fingers that BlazeHawk doesn’t make it to the end because I am sick of his piss poor attitude and how he gets pissed when he doesn’t win, but I have a feeling he is going to make it to until the end.

22. 22
    Bridget Miller
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    And just because my last comment wasn’t lengthy enough. I just have to say that I love the addition of Tony Distain. Don’t get me wrong. I do love me some Gail Fug Blouse Simmons, but Tony is a perfect replacement. My ideal panel would be Tommy Bear, Gail, and Tony, but Gail has her own hosting gig now so Scar isn’t going anywhere.

    @PottyMouth: are you going to recap the next season of Top Pastry Chef? I don’t think that is the name of the show, but I am blanking on the correct name because I bought some red hots for my MOMMY and some bicycle riding thugs stole them from me. Luckily, some lesbian offered to hug and comfort me in my time of distress.

23. 23
    Bridget Miller
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    Also how did Marcel get a television show? It is so diappointing to find out that karma is just as fake as Jesus. You would think that karma would be got to get his ass, but apparently good things can happen to you even if you act like an ass.

24. 24
    Violet
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    @Bridget: I am right there with you in regards to the additon of Tony. Mostly because his blogs about the show are hilarious. He really is a talented and entertaining writer. Although his blogs barely hold a shine to J-Mo’s recaps. I also would like to see Angelo and Carla in the finals and it is a toss up between Tiffany and Antonia. Antonia is much more impressive this season and she has shined as a leader. She should have won the fishing episode, but because the rest of her team sucked her dish wasn’t even considered. That didn’t make sense because her’s was the best dish and is just another example why the team challenges suck ass.

25. 25
    PottyMouth
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    @Bridget: So far, yes, that’s my plan. I have to do it FOR MY MOMMY.

26. 26
    Fan-Ann
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    In other Top Chef weirdness, Blaze was on CNN with his recommendations for Super Bowl treats. He made Buffalo Sweetbreads with blue cheese foam..the sweetbreads ( thymus glands) were cooked sous vide. Margaritas made in a mixer by pouring in liquid nitrogen. It was insane for home cooks. He didn’t mention the dangers of working with liquid nitrogen and didn’t use gloves. This menu needed the sous vide equipment, the special charger to make the foam and a tank of liquid nitrogen. I can’t imagine serving this menu to my husband and friends. The words sweetbreads with foam will not cross my lips.

27. 27
    vallegirl
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    DAMN YOU POTTYMOUTH!!! It’s still funny.

28. 28
    Di
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    I think the Quickfire was really ambiguous in whether the cheftestants were supposed to create an aesthetically interesting dish or just a pretty one. Angelo was pretty obviously on the “aesthetically interesting” train, since I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t put out transparent haggis otherwise. In my opinion, Carla’s was the only traditionally pretty one, though Antonia’s and even Tre’s certainly wasn’t far off the mark. The rest – just a hot mess. I’m annoyed by BlazeHawk’s win, but I’m more irritated that Fabio got recognition, because he basically put out a landfill on a plate with some kitschy writing.

    In other news, TC seems to be scraping the bottom of the barrel on challenges nowadays. This week’s was essentially “cook Italian food,” hardly quirky or entertaining in it’s own right. I guess it’s understandable after seven and a half seasons, but I wish they bring back the interesting symbolic challenges like seven deadly sins or four elements or that improv comedy one. I think those really highlight the chefs’ creativity and punishes the people with big egos and mediocre food (rhymes with Texas Wig Pit). Even those tired “reinvent a classic dish” challenges would work.

    Anyhow, my favorites right now are Carla and Angelo. They were both robbed in their respective seasons, though I’ll admit I’m leaning toward Carla. Still, it would definitely be upsetting to see Angelo lose a second time after that total clusterfuck that was Season Seven. Also, I’ve gotta admit, Dale has grown on me a little, and I wouldn’t be totally heartbroken if he won.

    Also, even though I’m squarely on Team Beaker, I’m a little worried that she seems to have made a lot of soups and stews lately. I don’t want to see her go the way of Turdle, since she is obviously capable was different types of comfort food.

    Overall, I’m glad that more than fifty percent of the cast is sane and bearable – hopefully, Blais, Flabio, and SexPig will be weeded out in the coming weeks. Of course, the producers will probably keep them around to make for better television.

    @Fan-Ann: You should definitely give sweetbreads a try. When they are beer-battered and deep-fried, they actually aren’t so bad – kind of like popcorn chicken. Dunking them in blue cheese (sauce, not foam) definitely helps.

29. 29
    lestermaddox
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    I thought this quickfire was so lame – and merely pointed out why exactly it is that Isaac Mizrahi is “designing” for Target. The man has no taste. Did you see that pile of dog poo with the yellow urine steaks that Blais put out? Or the tuna “women with umbrella’s” from Fabio? Good grief – those were horrid looking plates and had I been served either one, I would have sent it back and requested food that had not previously been digested.

    Someone please explain to me what Fabio’s “charm” is? The man drives me nuts, I find him so unpleasant to watch. His greasy hair, his cheesy accent, he overblown sense of self-worth. Just ugh.

    I too felt that Isabella should have gone home. As I stated previously, the (arsehat)Italian chef who screws up the pasta (regardless of how good his sauce might be) deserves to go home before the non-Italian chef who screws up risotto.

    I was happy for Antonia in her win, but thought the guys were horrid to her about it. Way to be good sports guys.

30. 30
    vallegirl
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    “Someone please explain to me what Fabio’s “charm” is?”

    He’s a speecy, spicy meat-a-ball stereotype, of course! Funiculi funicula!

31. 31
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    @ LAC & Bridget Miller, et al…. Pigshit won a car during one Quickfire, Dale won multiple Quickfires and the top prize on the dim sum challenge, so please, what show are you watching that Tre, whose won nothing all season and has performed steadily, should last longer than two chefs (whether you like them or not) have performed better than him over the course of the season? As much as I hate Dale and Mike, both should have stayed over Tre.

32. 32
    juddfan
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    Oh J-mo!!! What a deeply satisfying cap! It has everything!!! eeeeee! I would love to hear how much work goes into those routines . . . I HEART the choreography on all of ‘em!!! Best drag stuff I’ve seen, but then . . . I’m not hangin’ in those circles . . . just occasionally get to rub elbows with some of the Drag Race gals.

    The kitties are sooo cute!!! They look so loved too!

    Guess I missed you this trip, but you know I’m always up for hangin’ with you all!

    I had posted on here, but I guess it got lost in the nethers . . . I was struck at how many loathsome expressions Eye Sack makes . . . seems a very hateful man, TG his role is to the minimum on that other design show . . . and puh-lese! Picking the lemon piss puke plate, with the Golden Citrus Shower chicks-there are no words. And Fabby is getting on my nerves with his constant flirting and playing up the accent–ugh!!! He looks like a doughy, greasy douche–any attractive qualities he had have been swallowed by ego and mediocrity!!! Ugh!!! But I would still go on a mission to his restaurant J-mo, if you’re so inclined next time your local!

    I’ve been scarce lately . . . actually working on a video project of my own that I can’t wait to share with you, J-mo, and anybody else interested . . . it will be a while, as it’s a learning curve for days!

    XOXOXOXOXO!!!!

33. 33
    vallegirl
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    Tre won $5K as part of a team QF and $20K for the stuffing QF, so he performed at least as well as Isabella and almost as well as Dale. That they’re giving away more and better prizes for quickfires, though, is a mistake this show’s been making since Las Vegas.

    Reward the Elimination challenge winners. No one should win a car for an eight minute dish.

34. 34
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    @ Vallegirl, my fault for forgetting that team challenge, but Tre as a competitor (to me) doesn’t stand out, so I’m not upset that he’s gone. My first impression was that Mike should have gone home, but Tre is blank and boring and is probably a nice guy, but doesn’t seem to have the drive to actually win the Top Chef title, like a Blais, or Marcel, or even Pigshit.

35. 35
    MasTequila
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    Derek, Pigshit won ONE when it counted (the car), but isn’t as good as Tre or any of the others overall and I’m not even taking his stinkass personality into account here. I so hoped it would be him sent packing, but I knew it wouldn’t be when they said he liked his sauce. One fuckup vs. two by Dale (pasta and lack of sauce) and Tre (rice and garnish). And remember, this is supposed to be a “this challenge only” competition, they don’t take past performance into account….which they should. It’s idiotic that they don’t.

36. 36
    MasTequila
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 6:57 pm

    @Vallegirl – agreed as usual.

37. 37
    Viane Slice
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    Hullo Master J-Mo of the caustic remark embracing your inner Oscar Wilde….
    Well, I had to something – hi :::waving::: long time no see, cute picture of you, Flipit, and Nads.
    Oh the great risotto caper…what can I say? It’s like Distain said, most American restaurants can’t cook it right. I should know, I have gone to two banquets where each served risotto – with steak. And and both were as lumpy as oatmeal. I explained to my table mates about how risotto should be prepared. I could tell it was no one had heard of that before.
    But everyone at the table would have spit out crunchy pasta I don’t care how great the sauce was. Lumpy risotto or crunch pasta? Where is the dilemma in that? Oh well, it’s not like Lunch Tray is going home empty handed.
    I hope, like some of the other posters, that the Zen couple – Beaker and Citrus – will be in the finals. That would make a great ending to be sure.
    Oh nice kitty picture. The one on top looks like, “Why are you taking a picture of me?” The other looks like it will suffer to let the lowly human being take his/her image. Ha!

38. 38
    MasTequila
    Posted February 8, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    One more Pigshit bitch: Mr. I’m Italian I’m Italian!!!!

    Then go on to totally fuck up the pasta. Even I know that too much yolk will make it like rubber because of all the protein in it. So much for Pigshit’s expertise. The fact that he’s Italian and screwed up so bad on PASTA should have been his ticket out the door.

    Why didn’t he make gnocchi? According to the little extra footage, he makes an awesome one. If risotto is allowed, I’d think gnocchi would be too.

39. 39
    PinkLemonade
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 12:14 am

    I think this was a played out challenge even before it began. When Lorraine Braco brayed out in the caustically loud voice that one of their own had won, I knew that the rig was in. This should have been a fun challenge in a landmark restaurant but it just sounded like “our thing” with everyone trying to validate the stamp on their “Italian-ness.” Blech. I sure hope this week’s challenge is fun because it sounds like it. However, Padma could swoop in with another shiny pooch defining dress or pant and just ruin everything.

40. 40
    LAC
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 7:14 am

    MasTequila and vallegirl – bless you two. You responded better than I would have. Derek…bland, boring..whatever.I think you can be competitive without making people want to take a cast iron skillet to your head (Isablimp). Or be so intense (aka, whiny about Stephanie winning your season) that people have to spend time in the stew room holding your faux hawked hand after almost every challenge.

41. 41
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 10:43 am

    I know I ain’t been coming here for that long, but it’s cool to finally get to see some of you recappers. And you look pretty darn good, J-Mo, that’s an excellent beard you got going on there.

    Anyway, I do agree with Smartypants up there about Blazehawk’s Quickfire dish, it looked to me like some gravel or asphalt with some grass on top and a ball of jizz on the side. I cannot possibly understand how Eye-Sack thought that fug dish was better looking than Beaker’s gorgeous one. Especially with the whole “the one I wanted to actually eat” bullshit, since Scar said from the get-go that taste had nothing to do with it and it was just eyes only.

    Thankfully, the Elimination Challenge redeemed things with the ladies doing well. Shame Tre had to be eliminated over Dale’s shitty, sauce-less pasta and Pigshit’s raw pasta. Unfortunately, I don’t feel sorry for Tre anymore after he went all pouty when LowFatSo came in after winning, it made him look all petty. What the hell is with the men acting like assholes when the ladies come in with a win? They’ve done it to Beaker, now to LowFatSo. Now I just have the women to root for.

    And am I the only one here who despises DisDain? He’s just as bad as Tewwible Toby, if you ask me, such an arrogant butthole, thinks’ he’s so dang witty funny when he’s just not. Judges in these shows have no right to be witty. Recappers of this show, on the other hand…

42. 42
    HereGoHellCome
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    I have always wanted to eat at Rao’s but I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon…I settle for their 7.99 a jar vodka sauce once in a while, but now that I’ve become a vodka sauce addict, I realized that although it’s good, the cheaper ones are pretty good also…one day I’d like to make it from scratch though…

43. 43
    juddfan
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    Chris V, I’m with you in backing the grrrls!!! The men are rather petty . . . and at least Tewwible Toby had that cute little square head, DisDain looks like a few miles of rough road (but I’m sure that sings to some! ; )

    I actually came back coz I forgot to mention how adorable I thought Dino was . . . he looked like a scared little boy!

44. 44
    vallegirl
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Tewwible Toby looked like a fetal Richie Rich. I don’t care how rough DisDain looks, he will never be as heinous as that little British cretin. Even Jay “I hate Rick Moonen” Raynor isn’t as heinous as Toby.

45. 45
    Bridget Miller
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    @juddfan & chris v.: but at least Tony actually puts some thought into his critiques while Toby never said anything of substance. His critiques were just lame attempts at making some clever remark or simply re-wording Tom’s comment into a lame attempt at a clever remark. I think that Tony is at least offers constructive comments while Toby’s remarks reminded me of the inane, drivel spout off by Tyra on America’s Next Top Model.

    @juddfan: I am not sure what you are making a video of. I am trying to figure out if you are person that would need a learning curve when it came to sex, but probably not so it probably isn’t a scandalous sex tape. But either way I am interested in watching it whenever you get it done. I am always up for supporting a fellow gasm reader.

    It would be awesome to see an all girl finale, but I have a feeling that isn’t going to happen. I would be sad if OrangeJello wasn’t in the final, but would be just as happy to see Beeker, LoSo, and Tiffany. If Top Chef was really out for publicity and ratings then an all girls finale would be pretty remarkable especially since most people think that men make better chefs. Julia Childs believed this to be true.

    And Beeker should have won the Elimination Challenge. NitroBoy only won because he kissed up to Eye Sack. I am sorry, J-Mo, I love the gays with all my heart and it pains me to say this, but he does give gays a bad reputation. Just as Kate Gosselin gives hard working mothers a bad name. Okay so that was a bad analogy.

    Also, I agree with that the Quick Fire Winners shouldn’t be getting the prizes, but those should be reserved for the Challenge Winners. The Quick Fire winners get immunity and that should be good enough.

46. 46
    LAC
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    When it comes to DisDain and Toby- there is no contest. I love Bourdain’s style of writing and snarking (the airline food challenge was my favorite). Toby always came off like some pint size version of Oscar Wilde…I remember less his food critique and more of his lame attempts to show that yes, he is British and brilliant… I always thought of this Monty Python sketch whenever I watched him on Top Chef:
    

47. 47
    2muchbravo
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    @Bridget I agree that Beaker should have won the QF. Hers was colorful and creative. AND, you could have eaten it if you wanted to. Also agree QF winners should just get immunity or a bottle of wine,cookbook or lifetime supply of Gladware. Not a freakin’ car (I’m lookin’ at you Pig Shit). That’s elimination challenge winnings!

48. 48
    juddfan
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    Well, well, well . . . I do agree that Tewwible was petulant at best, I just found him more do-able in that horrible way that I have no taste in men!!! If I knew, I would tell you why!

    I also agree Disdain is a better judge all around, even funnier too, but not do-able to my little world of horrible taste.

    Bridget, thanks for your interest-HA! If it was porn, it would be a hell of a lot easier. In short, I do music on the side, and I put a demo together, as I need to release something to get on the songwriter lists (tho it is my “stufff” on the demo) The video is a stop motion, or doll-motion video, ala “Robot Chicken”. The actual shooting has gone really well, surprisingly, but the software and editing etc are the learning curve. I’m about half way, n it’s a bit of a hoot! I will fer sure shamelessly whore it when I get to posting it and I would love any and all support, so thanks again!!! I did have a little dancing, and I thought of the awesome J-mo moves, but ended up with some arm swinging-HA!

49. 49
    vallegirl
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    @juddfan – You might be the only human who actually considers Tewwible Toby more doable than DisDain. Vivre le difference, though.

    (I’m just horribly shallow and reserve all my naughty thoughts for Big Volt or Ripert.)

50. 50
    reality
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    I’m watching the rerun and Lorainne Bracco annoyed me the first time around. Then I read the comments here and still didn’t say anything. Well, I guess I’m busting with annoyance now. She BUGS me. She seems to hold court with her stories. They are interesting, I will admit. I liked hearing about Scorcese’s mom making the food. But I would like to hear the same amount of speaking from others. She seems to be the main person spinning the same ‘ole yarn and it’s annoying.

    OK==that’s off my chest. Now I can get on to watching tonight!

    FYI– Love, love, love the recaps. No words can explain the excitement of seeing the recap posted. Thank you so much.

    And junior needs his hair sides trimmed up. (anyone else have sooooooo many troubles with the “captcha code” thing?_)

51. 51
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Things I learned from this episode:

    All Italians are mafia. Even the ones who aren’t mafia but just happen to own an Italian restaurant. Still mafia.

    Lorainne Bracco has only been in one movie: Good Fellas. And Good Fellas was about the mafia.

    No one can cook Italian food except Italians. And all Italians are mafia.

    Boxed pasta is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact the judges highly encourage you to use pasta from a box. It’s got nothing to do with Buitoni being the sponsor. Really.

    And Lorraine Bracco was in Good Fellas. Again. Still.

52. 52
    MasTequila
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    @LAC Thanks!

    I’d like to point out about Toby, I hated him too when he first debuted, trying so painfully hard to be intellectually humorous and failing miserably. Luckily, he dropped that act pretty quickly and actually gave decent commentary and I’d like to remind y’all, he argued heavily from what I can find that Stephan should have taken it over Hoser. That alone earns a place in my heart.

    Of course, no one holds a candle to Tony!! *heart*

53. 53
    MasTequila
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    @reality – you didn’t read my commentary, I hated her.

54. 54
    vallegirl
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    Toby also sneered at the Americans who were pronouncing “paella” correctly, never once considering that a) he was in America at the time and maybe we just choose to pronounce simple Spanish words correctly because b) Hispanic is the largest self-identified minority group in the US and c) Michelle Bernstein, despite her surname, is Hispanic.

    He was such a douche about it and I remembered why I couldn’t stand him. Not that I ever forgot, but the smarmy way he mocked Bernstein for saying “Pa-AY-ya” instead of the proper English pronunciation of “PIE-ella” made me want to rough up his face all over again.

55. 55
    MasTequila
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    @vallegirl – too right, lol, I loved Michelle for that. I softened towards him for arguing rightly for Stephan over Hoser.

56. 56
    juddfan
    Posted February 9, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    Valle, I remember too-he was tewwible, like my taste-do you see the prison I am in . . . sigh . . .

    Oh, and I found advancing the capta once went smoother ; )

57. 57
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 4:32 am

    Oh Vallegirl, I have that argument at least weekly. Try living in England and being American. They pronounce all kinds of stuff weird here and sometimes insist that the rest of the world is wrong! LOL Tack-Oh instead of Taco, for example. And if you really want a chuckle, listening to the sports casters pronouncing names is funny too. Like Martinez. They pronounce it like Martin – ez instead of mar-teen-ez.

58. 58
    itchy
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 5:24 am

    The British also say “slippy” instead of slippery. Which is just plain silliness.

59. 59
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 7:47 am

    And “drink driving” instead of drunk driving. And orientated instead of oriented. Yes, orientated is a word, but it does not mean the same thing as oriented which is how it is used. Oh.. and they insist that obligated is not a word.

60. 60
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 7:49 am

    I think one of the reasons I despise Toby less than Disdain is that Toby doesn’t have his own show. Disdain is the same as Toby, meaning a snotty, arrogant douchebag who tries way too hard to be witty and sometimes that makes it so he doesn’t actually give a critique. He just comes across as a pompous ass. Plus I don’t forget all the bullshit he talked about Puertorican cuisine, pissed me the hell off.

    I liked how Beaker mentioned her previously being a model, I’d have loved to see pictures of her back then. She’s all tall and has a beautiful bone structure in her face, I can definitely see her as a model… oh, man, first I had imagined a Beaker sitcom, now I imagine her in ANTM, walking all cool while Ronda and Juanita mess around with Tyra and try to trip Miss J.

    J-Mo, finally I realize who you remind me off. You look totally like John Goodman, just snarkier, younger, far better looking, and can dance.

61. 61
    vallegirl
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 8:19 am

    BBCA has a promo for Law & Order:UK that features linguistic differences between the UK and US that’s pretty funny (especially the five seconds of Ben Daniels in his CPS wig saying Milordmilormilordmilord miladymiladymilady like a drone) and there are times when I’m watching BBCA where I understand all the words but not in the order or context in which they’re spoken so we really are two countries divided by one language. But, as a PR, I do get my back up at anglicizing every Spanish word, especially names. No need to go all Sofia Vergara on every word, but at least an attempt to be culturally correct wouldn’t hurt.

    But what did DisDain say about Puerto Rican food? You’d think he of the “I love all food everywhere, especially at dives and roadside inns because I’m such a badass” would like it. It’s pretty straightforward, uses a lot of fish and tropical produce and is spicy. Even his best friend Ripert loves Puerto Rican food. I’d have thought he’d play follow the leader with Ripert on that.

62. 62
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 9:32 am

    @Snootchy Bootches: The British also say “Al-u-miny-um”. I listened to a BBC Newshour report on commercial aircraft production for 10 minutes thinking that somebody had discovered some slick new alloy to use in making airliners. Boy, did I feel retarded.

    @Chris Velaquez: Unless you were being snarky, adjust your set, Chris. I don’t think you’re seeing the same Beaker we’re seeing.

63. 63
    MasTequila
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 9:33 am

    @Vallegirl – I saw Tony’s Pto Rico epi on No Reservations and he loved it, esp the roast pig in Caicay. That kind of food is right up his alley. We’ve lived in the SW so long, we went to the Caribbean last year and my hubs kept pronouncing Anguilla (UK) with a Hispanic pronunciation. We did just in PR tho

64. 64
    wink202
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Great recap, as usual. Lorainne Braco might want to give a shout out to Tony Soprano next time. If she had only been in Goodfellas, I would have forgotten who she was . She owes the great and powerful James Gandolfini for the fact that anyone knows her name.
    Also, I loved the video at the end. You guys can really dance! I was super impressed.

65. 65
    vallegirl
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 10:17 am

    By all behind the scenes accounts, she did discuss The Sopranos, that conversation just wasn’t germane to the episode.

66. 66
    LAC
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 10:18 am

    This article is a spoiler alert for those who did not see last night’s episode. But if you did, take a read, particularly at the last part: http://www.washingtonian.com/blogarticles/restaurants/bestbites/18364.html

67. 67
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    @notwithoutmytv: I was being snarky on the ANTM bit, but then again, I’d watch Carla in anything. And I think she that her bone structure definitely looks model-esque to me, that’s why I mentioned it.

    @MasTequila: I felt that in that epiosde, the roast pig was the good part, but that Disdain didn’t really delve into the best parts, though I guess that was more to blame to the dumbass guiding him. The town you’re talking about is Cayey, which wouldn’t you know, is exactly where I have lived all my life.

    And yes, our roast pig is famous all through the island, actually, probably the one thing my boring little town stands out for. Any of you ever come by here, I’d gladly show you the places so you can chow down to your heart’s content.

68. 68
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    My grandfather was stationed in PR while my dad and uncle were growing up. They only came back to the states when my dad started high school. I love to hear them talk about it because they really enjoyed their life there and the people. I was really excited to finally be able to spend a day there when our cruise started in San Juan, but weather grounded the planes and by the time we got there, we had to go right to the ship. *sad horns* One day when we are back living in the US, I’ll make it a priority to go.

69. 69
    MasTequila
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    @Chris – thanks for the correction, I was too lazy to go look it up, lol. We stayed in Rincon for 2 weeks, but saw much of the island. I really wanted to go to Cayey for your famous pig, but didn’t make it. And yes, Tony and the crew depend heavily on their guides.

70. 70
    MasTequila
    Posted February 10, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    @Snooty – Old San Juan is fantastic. It’s also the oldest city in the US. Well worth a trip just for a tour of it.

71. 71
    Khakie
    Posted February 13, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    interesting that PigShit commented on all of the ladies’ dishes as they can’t be in the top but says nothing about FBO’s dish. I guess it was okay for him to be in the top

72. 72
    Khakie
    Posted February 13, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Oh, and I hate Blaizehawk because he said that season 4 is remembered by him not winning. No, season 4 is remembered because it was the first time a female won Top Chef. and Yoda was awesome. I am hoping more than anything (except maybe pigshit…) that he does not win the title. I want OranJello or Beaker.

73. 73
    vallegirl
    Posted February 13, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    @Chris Velazquez – JIBARO! My father grew up in Cayey, too, but it was a much smaller town then. And Esai Morales’ brother is a professor at the university. So there’s that, too.

74. 74
    Tmurda
    Posted February 14, 2011 at 8:42 am

    First off, that was the dumbest, most pointless quickfire ever. Isacc M is a tool with an unbelievable ego, and i’m pretty sure he’s on drugs. If I was a chef and that asshat judged my food in any way, shape, or form, i’d be offended and i’d karate chop him in his throat. Anyway, I was really hoping that Team Italiano would choke on this elimination challenge. It was def time to put up or shut up, and Pigshit failed miserably, which was beyond awesome. Beeker is my fave for the win. And btw-when did ALL the Top Chef guys get fat? And when did Dung become likable? And since when is he an awesome cook?

75. 75
    crankyguy
    Posted February 14, 2011 at 10:39 am

    After enduring the asshattery that is Eye-Sack on this stupid Quickfire, I just happened to fire up a CNBC documentary that I had DVR’d on the retail chain, Target. They gave a lot of time to Eye-Sack and other designers, claiming that the only thing that allowed Target to escape being eaten alive by WalMart, and not only to survive, but to flourish, was teaming up with the likes of Eye-Sack. He, so they say, has made Target hip and cool, and people are proud to shop for clothes there solely because of designers like Eye-Sack. He sold over $300,000,000 worth of clothes at Target alone within a relatively short period of time. I just hated seeing that asshole’s wealth and success celebrated like that. It makes be even more cranky and bitter.

76. 76
    vallegirl
    Posted February 14, 2011 at 10:44 am

    Off topic, but I always thought it was Michael Graves’ small appliances and especially Todd Oldham’s home furnishings that put Target on the map. They were the outliers willing to work with Target when it was just the K-Mart/Wal-Mart upstart and made them cool.

    The fashion lines followed suit, but it was already established as the “cool” discount retailer by the time Isaac came along. Hell, Mossimo was already an established line with them. Isaac was smart to relaunch his line with Target, but I thought Target remade him instead of the other way around.

77. 77
    crankyguy
    Posted February 14, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Yes, vallegirl, I believe that Graves and some female designer of clothing, who’s name I don’t recall, were the first on board, and it was stated that Eye-Sack’s association with Target “made him a household name.” So the Target/Eye-Sack relationship was symbiotic with Eye-Sack’s line being one of Target’s most successful.