Minicap: Top Chef Seattle

Top Chef

By J-Mo | Thursday, November 22, 2012 | 2:31 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

That pic is for you, itchy (and any of the other 4 straight guys who read this). I find it kind of interesting that Carla has provocative photos like this floating around out there, especially in light of something that happens later on in the episode that sets her right the fuck off. In the meantime, let’s all enjoy her gravity-defying, helium-filled breasts.

Also, Stefan starts getting into it with people, and UniBall CJ takes it upon himself to be a leader, which backfires when someone accuses him of looking down on everybody! OH, and Tyler Weird starts campaigning for Fan Favorite by telling us he’s a big alcoholic! One of the best parts about the night is when Josie tries to give the entire Judging Panel a scorching case of ringworm. The worst part? Is who gets sent home. It fucking sucks. And that’s when Hater-Tots makes his move and starts being a humongous dick…

Check back in a few days for the full recap, and in the meantime, if you haven’t read it yet, you can find last week’s recap here. And if you’re planning on hitting a Black Friday sale, good luck to you, please be kind to those poor terrorized sales associates, and let’s all leave the guns at home, losing a lung is not worth getting a free $5 Wal-Mart gift card, ok? As for me, I’ll be recapping and putting up my Christmas decorations. My kitties Chunky and Chica have promised to help…

00 Chunky And Chica Are Lazy Top Chef 1003 00
this is the general level of effort we can expect

I have not yet tried to have a Christmas Tree with these two around, so it will be interesting to see if I have any ornaments left after December 4th. Nevertheless, have a Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for all your time and commentary!  I’m always thankful for TVGasm!  And Bravo!  And reality tv!  And Flipit!  And ice cream!

love, J-Mo :)

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J-Mo
About

J-Mo is a great big fat hairy homo (and he tends to be attracted to the same) who lives with his big fat non-hairy BF in the Valley Of The Sun, a.k.a. Phoenix, Arizona. By day he is an account manager for a giant corporate megaconglomerate and his greatest joy comes from not having to speak directly to the general public any more... also, he can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never never let you forget you're a man.  By night (when he's not recapping) he is a co-choreographer (and the Fattest Backup Dancer In Captivity™) for one of Phoenix's most talented female impersonators known as Devina Ross.  He is also still a part of the Rhythm Nation.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    MsMmm MsMmm
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 11:51 am

    That is the exact description of my Thanksgiving (minus the law enforcement I hope) LOL.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. 2
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    Happy Thanksgiving J-Mo! I an thankful for you on this site, your recaps, and your kitty porn. Good luck with the ornaments. Between my son, cat, and puppy, we have a total of 2 that weren’t broken by Christmas. That is what you get used to when, at the time, said baby, cat, and puppy were 3 and younger.

  3. 3
    TalldrinkofH2O
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    Courtesy of a psycho ex-husband and literally fleeing the state of the then-marital home with whatever I could stuff into my Xterra (to include 2 cats), I didn’t have any old breakable Xmas tree ornaments when I set up house again. With the kitties as a known, I then purchased unbreakable ornaments – some metal, some plastic, some woven. If you look around, J-Mo, you can find pretty cute non-breakable tree ornaments and then everyone is happy.

  4. 4
    JimbobJones
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    I can’t say I was surprised by who went home, even based on last week. Disappointed? Yes. But not surprised.

    If you think hard about it, that person would have undoubtedly been hosed last week if their team hadn’t saved them.

  5. 5
    brzysmom12
    Posted November 24, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    Your kitty porn crotch shot is giving Mouthy Carla a good run for her money. It’s one thing to have helium balloons look pretty good upside down but having a body covered with hair laying out spread eagle for all to see and look better than you … something to worry about maybe.

    Happy late Thanksgiving to you and yours J-Mo.

  6. 6
    lindaw205
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 6:09 am

    I’m really disliking Hater tots. A lot.

  7. 7
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    I’ve given up on Top Chef, but I’m still defenseless against the gift of tastefully wrapped boobs. (Thank you, J-Mo. You shouldn’t have.)

    I take it that seeing this Carla chick in action would probably kill the appeal?

  8. 8
    LAC LAC
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 7:33 am

    Notwithout, if you could mute Carla pre and post coital, I imagine that she is bearable.

    Hateration grows on hater-tots, who not only is the expert on the bleedin’ obvious (“If your dish is bad, you will get eliminated.” – no, really?) but is bordering on the Marcel level of unlikeability (the sort that brings a smile to your face with the image of him being chased off a cliff )

    J-Mo, hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving, full of food, family, and angry words muttered under breaths… thank you for the kitty porn. Oh yeah, those two will be helping you. Be sure to put soft or nonbreakable ornaments on the bottom part of tree.

  9. 9
    juddfan juddfan
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Hope everyone had a great holiday!!! I got a little zippy with the episode, figuring the magnificent J-mo would fill me in on the kitchen happenings. I’m not even sure who Hater-tots is!?

    On a decorating note, I just do a really small tree and keep it out of reach of kitties (I know, a fictional place, hee . . . ) I prefer lots of lights for decoration anyway!

    ; )

  10. 10
    Khakie
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    I haven’t seen many episodes from season 2 tc and I’ve only read the recaps which started partially through season teo, but I’m watching Marcel on iron chef redemption and I like him! I haven’t seen too many episodes or his original IC season and maybe that’s why, but I find Spike as insufferable as ever! Then again I love Stefan so that may explain something… Or maybe I should actually watch the shows. The recaps are so much more entertaining!

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