***Please welcome your newest recapper, Jaycee!
Submitted for your approval, one promo for NBC’s totally original, totally real, totally not clichéd new reality show, Love in the Wild, in which 20 terminally single men and women try to fend for themselves in [a comfortable house in] the jungles of Costa Rica, as potential romantic pairings. The producers tout this show as Survivor meets The Bachelor(ette). You could also tout it as The Amazing Race meets Temptation Island, or Man vs. Wild meets Blind Date, or Fear Factor meets [insert noun here] of Love. Either way, it works. (The video is embedded below, but if it doesn’t work, just click here to go to the youtube page.)
Here’s what we learn about this season’s charmers. One girl can’t read maps. There will be at least one scene in which everyone drinks in a hot tub. And, yes, there will be a stage-five clinger who says “we” too soon. Will there also be a muscle-bound douchebag who sticks it in every hole he can access, or a whiny peacemaker type who leaves the show early as punishment for making sense? I think we all know what the answer is to that question.
At first I wondered why such generically attractive people would need to humiliate themselves like this for the sake of finding love . . . buuuuut, then again, anyone who would ever consider going on this kind of show probably tends to be a turn-off. If you’re ever on a first date and you find yourself thinking this person would be a perfect stock reality TV character, it’s best to end the night quickly.
In short, Survivor of Blind Temptation of the Amazing Bachelor in the Wild Factor of Love promises to be a hot, hot mess. Anyone going to bother watching? Or should we just write it off now?