Trailer Trash: Iron Man 2

You’ll probably actually go see Iron Man 2, but there’s no reason you shouldn’t laugh at the trailer first.

Iron Man 2

5.7.10

I hate action movies. Michael Bay can suck it. And by “it” I mean someone’s else dick because I don’t want him around me.

Action movies are cheesy, but think they’re hilarious. They consider one-liners “jokes”. They’re not jokes. They are lazy puns. And when people laugh at them (because they’re so bad) the movie makers just laugh along saying, “oh yeah, we meant it to be funny!” No, you didn’t. You meant the car chase to go on for twenty minutes, you meant to make bad guys die in all sorts of crazy ways, you meant the good guy to smash as many forms of transportation as possible in as many different exciting ways as possible. But you did not mean for this movie to be funny! Or interesting. And that goes for ever action movie in the last 10 years….except for Iron Man. And for the trailer for Iron Man 2. I really, truly, deep down believe that the people who made this movie knew what they were doing. They made a decisions when have fun and when to get down to action business. They created characters that had feelings and emotions and foibles. And they created moments when none of that mattered, which is great, as long as you know the difference.

And why do I think they know what they’re doing? Because of Garry Shandling. That’s right, Garry Shandling plays a straight man senator to Robert Downy Jr.’s eccentric character. Garry Shandling doesn’t just go around auditioning for bit parts in action movies. If you have Garry Shandling in your movie its because you sought him out because he’s freakin’ hilarious and you know what you want.

The Iron Man 2 trailer also takes the same “cool” lines from action movies and plays them like quick, fun asides. Instead of putting the weight on them by zooming in and stopping the music and getting real serious to say crap like “Ice to see you”, you say it quick, with a smirk because the characters aren’t even taking it too seriously. Then you get back to the damn action!

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The nice thing is, this trailer even goes further by mocking those bad one-liners outright, like when Tony Starks yells “You Complete Me” while jumping out of a plane. I hope I’m not going too post-modern-lit-college-professor-seeing-things-that-aren’t-there, but I really think this movie is a lot smarter than al it’s predecessors. It’s more than just an action film. It’s a good movie with great action. I wish more movies were like this. There should be, because it works, which was proven by how great the first Iron Man did.

And come on, if you want a scary, for real bad guy you can’t do much better than Mickey Rouke. In fact, I hope his character name in the movie is Mickey Rourke. When he says, “there will blood in the water and the sharks will come” I got chills. I don’t think they were even recording that line for the movie, I think he was just saying that stuff. Like to a caterer or something. They just happened to leave his mic on. Either way I love it because I’m invested and along for the ride. See Hollywood, if you treat me like an intelligent viewer by giving me deep, interesting characters with feelings I can rate too, I’m in. I’ll follow you wherever you want, even if the bad guy has giant electrified whips coming off his hands, is wearing bondage leather straps instead of a shirt, has bling in his grill, then has to fight a man with a light for a heart that wears a flying, red robot suit. I’m on board! Thanks to character development! And also the fact that you use the song Iron Man. I can’t help but get revved up when I hear that song. YEAHH!!! BBWWOOOOOWWWWW WWEEEOOOOWWW. I AM IRON MAN!!!!!

So, I’m in.