Trashback: Temple of Doom

Recaps

By WaffleBoy | Thursday, February 28, 2013 | 11:39 am | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps

(Hi Gasmi, last weekend I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, which was some kind of awesome. Then I watched today’s movie, Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom, which was also very entertaining. Just in a very different way. Let’s take a look)

 

Our movie starts with a big budget 30’s style Busby Berkeley type musical number, which I guess is in the movie, because Steven Speilberg went to film school, so he has range. And also a final cut on the movie, but it’s kind of fun, so we go with it and get through the opening credits.

We find ourselves in some fancy nightclub in 1930-something Shanghai. Indiana Jones is there in a white dinner jacket looking to trade some precious moments figurine for a big piece of costume jewelry . Sorry I mean the last remains of the first Emperor of China for some big honking diamond. Trust me, if we don’t start suspending our disbelief now, we’re going to be an extra long couple of hours here.

So Indy is trading something for something with some shady Chinese gangsters. Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) also shows up right about this time to be Indiana Jones romantic interest for the picture.

Hey remember Karen Allen in Raider’s of the Lost Ark? Strong, yet vulnerable, able to take take of her self in a pinch, but still looks good in an evening gown? Yeah, the creative team behind this movie went in a different direction then that sort of character. What sort of direction did they go in? Well do you remember how Lucy would always cry when Ricky wouldn’t let her be in the show on I Love Lucy? Let’s just say there is no shortage of “Ricky, WHAAAAAAAAAA!” in this movie. You know, if you keep making that face a bird is going to build a nest on your lower lip, and I’ve just gotten used to him nesting on mine.

 

Okay, back to the movie with Indy and the Chinese gangsters. It turns out Indy doesn’t trust the Chinese gangsters, which would be kind of racist if they hadn’t just poisoned him. Not to worry, because Indy kills the gangster with the worst teeth with a flaming shish kabob, and then goes rooting around on the floor looking for the antidote, which gets tricky because they dump a bunch of balloons and ice on the floor. 

Indy can’t find the antidote, but he hides behind a great big gong to keep from getting machinegunned which keeps this from being a five minute movie. 

Things start looking up because Willie Scott finds the antidote while she is trying to find the big honking diamond, and then Harrison Ford gang tackles her, and they both go flying through a window, and crash through a bunch of scaffolding to land in the back of some car that immediately hauls ass out of the scene before the audience’s BS detector can go off.

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About

Waffle's family would like to go on record and say he was raised by raccoons. You eat out of the garbage one time, and everyone suddenly gets judgmental. He's just going to point out, for the last time, with God as his witness, there was ice cream in that carton. However, the fact of the matter is he was born and has lived about 90% of my life in the Bay Area in Northern California. He's a long time cube monkey (office worker), who spends too much time trying to maximize the money he spends on his cable bill, and has a not so healthy love of all things that are dumb and fun, translation: needless explosions, cable neeckedness, and any time Steven Segal attempts to express human emotion only by squinting.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Rave
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    Thank you WB for immediately pointing out the thing I hated most about this film, Kate Capshaws whiny character. I was an 18 year old woman when this movie came out and I felt the whole movie grind to a halt every time she opened her mouth. I was utterly disallusioned with Spielberg falling into the ‘pussy trap’ on this one…

  2. 2
    Elmstreet
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    You know how in the Star Trek movie series, all of the even numbered movies are the good ones and the odd numbered movies are the ones to avoid (Original Series, of course)? After Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out, I realized that the Indiana Jones movies run the opposite – the odd numbers? Face-meltingly awesome. The even numbers? Stupid. Incredibly, incredibly, incredibly, incredibly, incredibly stupid. I bought the first and third movie separately instead of the dvd trilogy package because I refuse to own this movie (and for that matter, that piece of shit Kingdom of the Crystal Skull).

    I blame George Lucas because I can. And also, Stephen Spielberg’s penis (Two words: KATE CAPSHAW).

  3. 3
    lindaw205
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    I had forgotten how much Kate Capshaw annoyed me in this movie. I loved the first and third movies and refuse to watch the last one.

    Excellent recap, WB! Lots more entertaining than the movie.

  4. 4
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    Loved 1 and especially 3.

    2 is annoying because of the aforementioned Kate Capshaw (I can’t stand her annoying daughter, either.)

    and 4? One of the worst movies EVER.

  5. 5
    Hops
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I loved this movie. During the first time I watched it, I got scared during the temple scenes.

  6. 6
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    WaffleKnabe: *Harrison Ford is shuffling around all mumbly and with no will of his own, which is strange because Cowboys and Aliens isn’t going to come out for another couple of decades.*

    Hilarious–because I watched the entirety of Cowboys and Aliens before I realized that Harrison Ford was in it. It wasn’t until I saw the credits rolling that it dawned on me….. A.C.T.I.N.G it’s a Craft! Nailed it!

    At the time this movie came out, I figured Kate Capshaw had to be giving hummers to someone pretty high up to bump Karen Allen and figured they were thinking with their little head. I figured they had pretty shitty taste.

  7. 7
    Cindy
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 5:39 am

    In the Lego video game for this movie, Willie’s special ability is breaking glass. By screaming. So, yeah.

  8. 8
    J-Mo J-Mo
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 2:00 am

    BWAHAHAHA, I loved the fact that they really wanted us to buy that malnourished five-year-olds would be any good at MINING! BTW, WaffleBoy, thank you for NOT including a screenshot of the scene with all the bugs and creepy-crawlies, it gives me nightmares to this day. LOVED THIS!

    love, J-Mo :)

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