This morning, I was really hoping to write “Wow, I was wrong about Treasure Hunters. It really found its stride this week.” But alas, this series continues to be as slow as those Brown brothers paddling in a canoe. Sure, there are neat puzzles and codes everywhere, and it’s impossible to deny that charmer Laird MacIntosh, but honestly, this bad boy is shaping up to be the disappointment of the summer. To be fair, for about fifteen minutes during a rigorous and eventful trip up a river, it seemed as though the show was finally gaining momentum, but alas, it was all lost during a flaccid and uninspiring climax involving compasses and the word “artichoke.” Plus, it doesn’t help matters that the travel route seems to be plotted from rejected Amazing Race: Family Edition destinations. You know what I’m talking about: all America, all the time. I love the U. S. of A. as much as anyone, but when it comes to these adventure shows, it’s all about going international. Luckily, there was one bright spot in last night’s show: the continuing villainy of the Fogal Family. They’re shaping up to be the second coming of The Weaver family, and while it will be hard to top Linda, Rolly, Rachel, and Rebecca, this pastor and his clan sure will give them a run for the money. Now, if only we could care about the rest of the show as much.This week’s episode began in the always exciting state of South Dakota. I could already feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins! After having found their artifacts at Mt. Rushmore last week, everyone had now migrated over to the Blue Coyote B&B where they’d rest, relax, and do all the other things that people do on Amazing Race Pit Stops.
For a brief moment, the cutthroat nature of the competition gave way to general camaraderie as the teams all toasted each other and perhaps talked shit about those Young Professionals. We then saw a full moon float across the screen, but sadly, Teen Wolf was nowhere to be found. Dammit. That would have been awesome. At 2:20 AM, just a mere two hours or so after everyone had gone to sleep, we then suddenly heard that pseudo Tangerine Dream music that indicates an incoming call from Lairdy-poo. Could there be a more exciting phone call? I think not. Anyway, our cardboard host told the teams that they’d have to follow the footsteps of Lewis & Clark, and instantly, my heart sank. First Mt. Rushmore, then Lewis & Clark? The Americana overdose meant only one thing: return of Amazing Race: Family Edition. Look, The Amazing Race is at the top of its game, but if even Jerry Bruckheimer couldn’t make America the Beautiful exciting, I didn’t have high hopes for Treasure Hunters. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the only way to make an American adventure series fun is to embrace the kitsch value — like Cannonball Run 2001. But I digress…
As I was saying before, the teams now had to follow in the footsteps of Lewis & Clark; although, personally, I think it would have been a lot more entertaining to follow in the footsteps of Lois & Clark instead. Maybe someone could track down Dean Cain and see what he’s up to these days (beyond playing Scott Peterson in TV movies). Nevertheless, teams had to drive over 620 miles to the Lexington Mine in Montana, and to get there, they’d have to take one of nine Toyota Tundras — just like Lewis & Clark!
“Son, yer legal pad is glowin’.”
Anyway, everyone poured out of the B&B in the middle of the night and went searching for the trucks. I was shocked at all the confused racers. Granted, I know they had to match keys with the Toyotas, but still, you’d think they wouldn’t be so lost looking for the damn vehicles. Here’s a hint: wherever there’s a giant, white light — you know, for a camera crew — that’s where a truck is.
Eventually, everyone hopped in their Tundras, with the Wild Hanlons managing to set off their alarm in the process. Why the alarm was on was beyond me. I guess the producers were afraid a mischievous raccoon might try to take an unsanctioned joyride. Nevertheless, the Miss (non) USAs and the Air Forcers left the B&B first, and bringing up the rear were those Wild Hanlons again. Paterfamilias Pat (he of the majestic mullet) insisted that he knew the right way to go, despite the fact that he wasn’t even holding a map. I guess this was the same logic he used when he scavenged in a garbage pail for Mt. Rushmore. Soon Pat and his brother Ben began fighting, and for whatever reason, Ben brought up the fact that he was a college graduate who’d been all over the world.
“Ben, you’ve been to Europe one time and went to Amsterdam and got wasted,” Pat replied. Insert laugh track here. Seriously, these guys talk like they’re on a sitcom sometimes. I half expected a goofy neighbor to knock on the car door and invite himself along for the ride. And that goofy neighbor would be played by David Leisure or Jim J. Bullock.
Well, as the Wild Hanlons continued to Wild Bicker, they passed another one of those Genworth sponsored billboards. This one cryptically said, “Look on water for it is inspiration.” Wonderful. I’m sure the viewers at home will be able to really use that. We then went to commercial, and when we returned, the sun was up, and all the teams were arriving at the mine. The Air Forcers stepped out of their car first, thus prompting a very special call from Laird. He babbled about the gold rush and how people died in mines and such. That’s all great and everything, but airtime minutes don’t grow on trees, if you get my drift, Laird. Let’s hurry this up.
After Laird was done with the random history lesson, he then instructed teams to find a hidden chamber in the mine. That’s where the next clue was. Oh, and because the passageways were tight, teams could leave one member behind. I couldn’t imagine that anyone could be happier than the Browns to hear that. Cut to portly Keith Brown wedged in between two stalactites as Laird tries to slide him free with the help of some butter (kind of like that time when DJ babysat on Full House. Word of warning: always stay away from the banister!).
Well, the first three teams down in the mine were the Air Forcers, the Miss USAs, and the Fogal Family. The military gang found the secret chamber first, and in the middle of it was a bucket surrounded by snakes and highlighted by a beam of light. Written along the brim of the bucket was a phrase that read, “Bend the light.” Oh, and inside the bucket was a big glass orb of some sort. Hmmm… bend the light… glass orb… what could it be? I bet Laird was dying to call up and say, “OMG! Can I give you a hint? Please? This is killing me!”
Anyway, everyone got to work trying to figure out this puzzle. Well, everyone but Margie Fogal who began screaming at the mere sight of the snakes, or as she likes to call them, “Jesus monsters.” Soon, the Air Forcers began to think about water refraction. This, of course, was spurred by the loud and obvious natural spring in the mine (which came with complimentary buckets). “We gotta get the water from that thing, drop it in there, and bend the light,” said one of the Air Forcers. It was a pretty novel idea (and just so happened to be correct). There was no way the Hanlons would ever get it.
Well, the Air Forcers scooped up some water from the spring and poured it in the bucket over the orb, causing the next clue to appear. You see, the clue was impossible to read because the glass orb was refracting the image, but the added water corrected it. Yes, another cool puzzle that was bizarrely lacking in excitement. But hey, at least it’s a step up from those painfully easy brainteasers on Fresh Meat.
Anyway, the Air Force guys wrote down the clue and emerged from the mine, which of course resulted in another phone call from You Know Who. Laird. He told them to head to the Wood Bottom campsite over a hundred miles away and then canoe twenty miles up the river. Oh, and the boat had to be in the water by dusk, or else teams would have to wait until dawn to begin their canoe odysseys. Sounds great. But one question: where the hell was Wood Bottom? No one knew, but one of the Air Forcers had a splendid idea:
“We gotta go to Ask.com!” he said. LET’S!
While the Air Forcers happily shilled for Ask.com, the Fogals also figured out the bucket clue and shockingly, they didn’t empty the water out so the Miss USAs couldn’t read the clue. I actually expected Brad Fogal to take the bucket of water and throw it in the girls’ faces. Maybe stick some snakes down their tops too, just to get them all riled up. And then ask Jesus for forgiveness later.
Well, all three of these first teams eventually got the clue, which meant it was time for group number two: the Geniuses, Grad Students, and Ex-CIA guys. In case you were wondering what sort of rigorous thought processes these teams employed, I have bad news. The producers simply cut to the chase as we saw them all pouring water into the bucket. Okay, we’ll just assume they figured out the puzzle really quickly. The last group to enter the mine were the Southie boys, the Browns, and the Wild Hanlons. As expected, it only took about ten seconds before the Mullet-heads became totally lost, looking for clues in nearly every crevice of the mine. Between these three teams, I thought we’d be lucky if anyone figured out the puzzle in less than six hours, but surprisingly enough, the Brown boys seemed to be relatively on top of it. They found their clue quickly, leaving the other two teams to twiddle their thumbs. Actually, they weren’t all twiddling. The Southies were actually hammering away at the mine wall. That’s always a good idea, by the way. You know, chipping away blindly at a mine shaft. Luckily they don’t have a reputation for, you know, caving in or anything.
I know Bostonians love the Big Dig, but this is really taking it too far…
Sensing that they just did not have the brainpower to find the clue, the Southies allied with the Browns at the last second and learned how to decipher the next clue. That left only the Hanlons to conquer this puzzle, and if our intuition was correct, this was gonna take awhile. For some reason, I don’t see light refraction up there with other Hanlon activies like hunting and mullet-making.
Meanwhile, the Air Forcers arrived at the river to start their canoe journey, and even though it was light out, Laird called up to say that dusk officially began at 5:30 PM, ten minutes ago. Oh well. That meant that the Air Forcers would be setting up camp for the night. Even worse, so would everyone else. The great equalizer. Well, that Bend The Light puzzle was fun. Glad it had no impact on anything.
Well, as the skies darkened, team after team arrived and hung out at the campfire. The Miss USAs were besides themselves upon arriving, devolving into a mess of screaming and hopping. It was sort of like the time when they each won Miss USA. Oh wait…
Only one team was conspicuously absent from the campsite: them Wild Hanlons! Yes, they were still in the mine after eleven hours. Oh, and Pat Hanlon had been waiting up top all that time. I felt bad for the cameraman, who probably was dying to just pour some water in that bucket. In a weird way, I was really hoping that the Wild Hanlons would destroy stereotypes — showing that people with big mullets and thick accents and camo pants were not always clueless country bumpkins. Yeah, so much for that.
After the break, we returned to the Wild Hanlons, who weren’t so much Wild as they were IDIOTS. Luckily, after hours and hours of wanderin’ in the mine, the guys decided to employ this crazy thing called “logic.” I know, it’s crazy. “There’s got to be something with the water down there, and there’s got to be something with the snake pit down there, and we’re missing it,” Ben said. Missing it would be an understatement. Two hours of this, and you could say “missing it.” But eleven? No, it’s not “missing it.” It’s “physically unable to conceptualize it. EVER.” Okay, that’s not fair because they did eventually have a mental breakthrough (using that highfalutin logic I was talking about before). The guys finally put two and two together and decided to pour water in the bucket. Sure enough, they found their clue and headed up to ground level where they were reunited with Pat. A joyous group hug followed, with one of the guys saying, “Thanks, Texas, for believing in us because we need it!” Uh, I’m not sure Texas was believing in you after eleven hours. I’m pretty sure at that point that Texas was embarrassed and ashamed. Nevertheless, it was a happy Mullet Moment, and the guys headed off to the campsite, arriving at 3:30 AM.
Two and a half hours later, everyone else woke up and began their canoe journey. The Fogal joined together for a brief prayer. This way they wouldn’t feel so guilty when they manipulate and sabotage the other teams. Anyway, Laird called up and gave another boring lesson about Lewis and Clark (as if it really mattered) and then reminded the teams that they would be canoeing twenty grueling miles. This did not bode well for the Browns. I already had visions of them passing out from exhaustion just by merely boarding the canoe. As for the Fogals, they were probably going to steal everyone’s canoes, leaving everyone behind with just Margie’s evil cackle echoing in their ears.
Laird then mentioned that not only did teams have to paddle twenty miles, but they also had to be on the lookout for fourteen stars along the way. Forty paces behind the fourteenth star would be hidden the next clue. And with that, the teams were off. The Air Forcers took an early lead, of course, while the Southie boys struggled to keep their balance. As their canoe nearly capsized, the guys shouted, “John! John! John!!!” But of course, it sounded more like, “Jawn! Jawn! JAWWWN!” They then added, “Get me some wicked awesome chowda from the yahd!” Because that’s what Boston people do — talk about chowder and yards.
Also having bad luck were the poor Brown brothers who seemed completely stuck at the starting gate. I didn’t know if it was because they were bad paddlers or if their girth had somehow caused the canoe to become ensconced on the river floor. Either way, they were clearly unfamiliar with the subtler aspects of light water-craft transport, and before you could say “An embarrassment to L. L. Bean,” the brothers had capsized their canoe. I started to laugh, but then I remembered that one of the brothers couldn’t swim. Okay, I was still laughing. I mean, c’mon! He had a life preserver on. He’d be fine. Unfortunately for the guys, they had to scramble to shore as their canoe and paddles and hopes all floated away. Oops.
Fat man in a little canoe!
Meanwhile, back at camp, the Wild Hanlons were just waking up at 9:30 AM. Yes, a full three and a half hours after everyone else, and they were finally ready to take to the river. Okay, so I suppose the refraction puzzle did have some sort of effect because it resulted indirectly in these guys being in crazy last place. By the time they hit the water, they were actually four hours behind the first place team (which was still the Air Force). Oh, and after four hours, let it be known that the Air Forcers were only halfway there. Yes, this was going to be eight hours of canoeing fun, and if that wasn’t bad enough, in the middle of all this, teams would have to take their canoes out of the water and carry them above ground for a three mile portage! Okay, I know this show wants to outclass The Amazing Race and all, but this was ridiculous. My legs and arms were already tired just from watching these people (well, that and I had just come back from the gym when I had watched this, but that really had nothing to do with it).
Elsewhere on the trek, the Miss USAs had dropped down to seventh place (a full two hours behind the Air Forcers, if that gives you any idea of the dispersal of teams), and now the ladies were pining for all sorts of creature comforts. “I want cupcakes and a hot bath!” said one. “I want my mom’s fried [unintelligible noun] and fried potatoes!” said another. The list grew longer and longer until one finally said, “And a movie. Maybe Father of the Bride or something like that.” Ooh! Quality cinema! Might I suggest Only You, the mid-’90s romantic comedy featuring Marisa Tomei? Or perhaps anything from the Jeanne Tripplehorn collection? ‘Til There Was You is always a favorite.
Up ahead, the Fogals began their portage, but they opted to carry their canoe in the least efficient way possible. Instead of holding it over their heads (like the Air Forcers), they gripped it with their hands and held it low near their calves. Unsurprisingly, this wore them out in no time, causing whiney brat daughter Kayte to throw a tantrum. Did I mention that she’s twenty-five. Luckily, those Southie boys turned out to be quite the gentlemen as they volunteered to help out and carry the canoe with Brad Fogal’s help. What a nice thing to do. Hope they’re not expecting anything in return — beyond a patronizing prayer, of course.
Meanwhile, the Brown brothers still hadn’t returned to the river. After his experiences in the ocean and now the river, Keith Brown was fairly spooked by the water and was not about to get back in. But then he remembered that his brothers were all depending on him, and well, he wasn’t about to give up! I say, give him some floaties and get him back on the river! “I think we gotta try it one more time,” Keith told his bros. This resulted in hugs all around, and I could have sworn I heard someone chanting “Hercu-lees! Hercu-lees!”
Of course, just because the Browns were back in the water didn’t mean that they were gonna suddenly be awesome. No, they continued to languish, and soon, those Wild Hanlons passed them. Yeeehaw!! Up ahead, all the other teams were now doing portage. Those busty grad student girls decided to drag their canoe along, with one girl — Jessica — pushing from behind. It seemed like a good strategy — that is, until Jessica stepped in a hole and nearly tore her foot off. Yes, this was bad, bad news. Jessica was bawling, and in an interview, she said she felt a tearing motion and extreme pain. Yowsahs! This can’t be good…
We then went to commercial break, and a strange thing occurred: I wanted to know what would happen next! Yes, the show was finally picking up momentum. This extended canoe trip was the perfect sort of sequence to engage viewers. The cutting back and forth between teams heightened the tension, and watching people fall behind for a variety of reasons was exciting. It was almost as if I was watching The Amazing Race. Almost. Anyway, we returned to the grad students, who were showing some pretty damn amazing team spirit by not even thinking about giving up. Instead, the two healthy girls picked up gimpy Jessica, carried her about twenty feet, put her down, and then doubled back for the canoe. This is how they traveled — piece by piece. I had to admit, it was pretty impressive, especially considering that someone like Kayte Fogal would have already given up.
Up at the front of the pack, the Air Forcers arrived at their fourteenth star and began digging around for the clue. I’m surprised Laird didn’t call up and say, “Hey guys. What’s going on? Oh, I have no news. Just missed ya.” Not far behind the Air Forcers, the Fogals, Ex-CIA guys, and Southies were all paddling together. For whatever reason, pastor Brad Fogal came up with a brilliant idea. “You know what we oughta do is stop at the thirteenth star and dig there and then stop at the fourteenth star just in case,” he said. Yes, that made no sense at all, and yet, everyone was for it. Actually, I take that back. There was a shred of logic in the plan. It was a backup plan in case they had all miscounted and the thirteenth star was actually the fourteenth. Or at least, that’s how Brad explained it. Well, the Fogals happily pointed out the thirteenth star, and as the CIAs and the Southies docked, Brad and his family went into paddle overdrive and booked it onto the next star. Yes, the pastor had tricked two other teams, one of which had been kind enough to help them earlier. Jerks!
Now, I have nothing against that sort of trickery, but I am opposed to the hypocritical morality that the Fogals ascribe to. Oh, I’m gonna love hating them this season. Nevertheless, the Fogals zipped off to the fourteenth star, leaving the two other teams to just stare at their trail of dust. Well, figurative dust. Personally, if it were me, I would have hopped back in my canoe, raced up to them, and tipped them over. Kayte would have bawled to Jesus.
Instead, the Southies and the CIAs merely scoffed incredulously. “We’ve been Fockered!” Team Southie said. I’m sure it would have been a lot funnier had the Fogals been named, you know, Focker. Ah, but the Southies fixed that by then saying, “Instead of Fockers, the Fogals!” Couldn’t you have just said “Fogaled” all along? Don’t worry, we would have gotten it.
Well, this led to general Fogal joking as one of the guys said, “Fogal me once, your fault. Fogal me twice, my fault.” Fogal you three times, and you have to SHUT THE HELL UP. Seriously, Southie/CIA mockery is not nearly as good as the Linz impersonations of the Weavers.
One of the CIA guys then came on screen and proudly boasted, “We then coined the phrase, ‘We’ve been Fogaled!’” Yes, well done. I’m sure that will wind up in Bartlett’s. Right next to Mae West and Eugene O’Neill.
Meanwhile, the Air Forcers found their next clue in a pit, and before you could say “It’s the network,” Laird called up to say, “You’ve found the key to the secret language of Lewis and Clark.” Ah, very interesting. Here’s a little known fact: in Lewis & Clark-ese, Laird means “beautiful bird of the sky that eats feces.”
Well, the Air Forcers headed off to the next destination, Tower Rock. Unfortunately, they left behind a dirty mess, which made it easy for the Fogals to find their clue. Kind of annoying that the producers hid each clue in the same box. That meant that the first team to arrive would have the hardest time seeking the clues out while everyone else would take like two seconds.
Sure enough, the Fogal retrieved their clue in seconds and were soon out on the open road trying to rationalize their loathsome behavior. Brad said he hoped the other teams didn’t expect them to wait at the thirteenth star, causing Kayte to remark, “We couldn’t have waited!” Why? I don’t know. But let’s not forget that Kayte is a complete and total moron. Margie then chimed in and said, “We were too ahead of them… we couldn’t stop midstream!” Of course not! I’ve never heard of such a demanding request! Margie — consider yourself off the hook (and off da hook, Miss Thang!).
In one of the more patronizing moves of the episode, Margie then asked, “Hey, can we say a prayer for everyone else?” Sure! Why not? It’ll help get rid of all that icky guilt that comes from acting evil. Margie then led the fam in a prayer, and afterwards, Brad commented, “That always calms you down a little bit.” Yup. Nothing spells relaxation like relieving yourself of any moral culpability!
Back at the portage passage, the grad students were still going at it, moving Jessica bit by bit until finally, they could go on no longer. The girls all began to cry, and finally a medic showed up. Way to be on top of that, producers. The guy wrapped up Jessica’s foot and told her not to do any more physical activity, which meant I could kiss goodbye my hopes of seeing a broken-ankle rhythmic gymnastics demo. I honestly didn’t see how these girls could stay competitive in this game, and as I pondered that, we then went away for commercial again. When we returned, we found ourselves at Tower Rock State Park where the Air Forcers were trying to crack the Lewis & Clark code. Hey, maybe they should try to BEND THE LIGHT — just for old times sake. Anyway, it was essential that they decipher the Lewis & Clark code because somewhere on the mountain lay the second artifact, and as usual, there weren’t enough for everyone. Whoever was left out of this elaborate version of musical chairs would be eliminated.
The Air Forcers soon encountered a sign that was written in jibberish and immediately began decoding using the key they had received at the end of their canoe trip. We then cut to the Geniuses reading the clue they had received at the end of their canoe trip. Of course, we didn’t see the Geniuses docking their canoe and searching behind the star for their clue. They just had it. Apparently the producers are not big fans of things like “continuity.” I know nothing exciting may have happened in the search for the clue, but you can’t just skip things! It takes two seconds — just show it! Give us a sense of the journey.
Well, the Air Force clan soon cracked the code and deciphered the clue: “Follow close and to the right; look ‘neath a rock as dark as night.” Clever rhyme! Did Laird write that? I bet he did!
As the Air Forcers headed off in search of their clue, the Fogals arrived next and tried to figure out the code. But since they’re somewhat idiotic as a team, they struggled with this very simple task. I was hoping the Southies would catch up and say something snide to the Fogals, but sadly, the pastor and his family managed to figure it out at the last second, with Kayte marveling at the stupid rhyme in the process. Eh, it was probably all for the best. Had the Southies caught up, they probably would have said something dumb like, “You can’t Fogal us this time, Fogals! Yeah, we coined a phrase!”
Up at the front of the pack, the Air Forcers came across a dark rock, looked underneath, and there was a compass in a little sack. Oh, and that compass was the second artifact. Huh. Okay. Not quite as exciting as racing to a finish line to meet Phil, but I guess it’s interesting in its own way. Kind of. Not really.
Well, the Fogals grabbed their compass second, followed by the Southies third. Ex-CIA, Miss USAs, and Geniuses all rounded out the top six in that order. Hey, remember the Wild Hanlons? Last we saw of them, they were on the river, passing the Browns. Well, now they were magically at Tower Rock (again, the producers blatantly skipping parts of the journey), and rather than using their nifty Lewis & Clark code matrix (which used the word “artichoke” as a key word), Pat Hanlon decided to divine the clue through random intuition. He looked at the gibberish and said, “Australian? Greek? I don’t know. I’m just seein’…” (this trailed off into unintelligible sounds). Never mind that “Australian” was still English and that these letters looked nothing like the Greek alphabet, Pat Hanlon insisted that he was onto something. He even began talking about turning the letters sideways and whatnot. Normally, I’d accuse him of overthinking the situation, but that, of course, would imply that there was some sort of thinking involved.
Meanwhile, back at the river, the Brown family actually managed to arrive at the fourteenth star where they found their next clue. They were so excited to have persevered over the River Wild that one of the brothers yelled, “I love being a treasure hunter!” Yeah, how about you watch the show instead. Not quite as much fun…
In last place, we then saw the grad students walking up to the clue behind the star. I didn’t know how they got there — was it by canoe? Did they walk? — because the producers never showed it. Either way, they weren’t about to give up. I didn’t know how they’d catch up to the Browns or Hanlons, but you can never overlook the power of human error. And speaking of which…
We then cut back to the Wild Hanlons who were now entering their fourth hour trying to crack the clue. Literally. Four hours. And they had a stupid key right in their hands. Fed up, Pat insisted that there had to be more than just the code to crack. Well, technically, if you count looking at the damn key as a task, then yes, there was more to do than cracking the code. With their brains absolutely fried and their mullets rapidly deflating, the guys decided to something to clear their minds: grab some grub. Yes, the Wild Hanlons actually hopped in their Tundra and drove off for food. They did realize they were in a race, right? Just checking.
Well, they may have been putting their entire reality careers in jeopardy, but the good news was that they found a Burger King, and hey, that’s always fun. Pat even came across a figure eight onion ring. He joked about it being a clue, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually held onto it, thinking that it might come in handy down the line.
“This here is the next clue. You gotta turn it on its side, and you’ll find a map in the batter.”
In the meantime, the Brown family arrived at the Tower Rock, followed shortly by the grad students, who I still couldn’t believe were even in the running (or limping, I should say). With their stomachs full and their mullets feeling lively again, the Hanlons then showed up again, and this time, they decided to do something crazy and use that key they had found by the river. Sure enough, it worked, and the guys cracked the code. Only took them five hours. Not bad. Down from eleven hours in the mine.
Meanwhile, the Browns struggled mightily with the code, and in a surprise turn of events, the Grad Students actually managed to figure out the clue and retrieve their compass seventh. Wow. I thought they’d be last, and if not last, second to last. But certainly not seventh place. That meant it was all down to the Browns and the Hanlons. It was pretty obvious how this would go, especially considering that the Hanlons had already cracked the code. Still, some creative editing made it look like the teams were neck and neck. It was supposed to be exciting, but climaxing with a compass-hunt just wasn’t a smart idea. All the momentum from the canoe sequence was gone, and by the time the Hanlons found the eighth and final artifact, it was hard to really care that much about what was happening.
And so Laird called up the Browns and told them they were eliminated, thus bringing an end to any “ethnic” teams on the hunt. By the way, could the Laird phone call be the most anticlimactic and boring elimination ceremony on reality TV? I mean, talk about lame.
Wow. What a stirring elimination.
Well, the Browns were gone, but were they really? Scenes from next week showed them getting into a fight with the Wild Hanlons. My prediction is that the Grad Students will have to leave the race, and thus the Browns will be reinstated. This show better improve quickly because if it stays like this, I’m not recapping the entire season. You’re on probation, Treasure Hunters. If you can’t turn things around in the next one or two episodes, consider your season pass deleted.
What did you think about this episode?