TV Patrol: Manic Monday

Happy Monday! Check out tonight’s TV preview after the jump!

Get out of your tanning bed and watch some TV. It’s the American way.

If you guys didn’t take my advice and watch Dexter, Mad Men, & True Blood last night, you missed it all!!! Vampires don’t turn into crispy bacon when they see a cross & you can take their picture and they don’t fade away in it. A hit of vampire blood is just like LSD. Timothy Leary would be impressed. I’m still high from all the shit that went down. True Blood won the night, hands down, but Dexter came in a close second. He got me in such a state of panic by the end of the show, I almost pissed my pants. Mad Men left me thinking: “WTF! What did I just watch?” That show makes me think for awhile. I’ll get a clue by tomorrow! I love Sundays!!

But now we need to talk about Monday & the drama of Dancing with the Stars at 8pm on ABC. The show is two hours long tonite and they need to replace Misty & Maks to keep the show on schedule. Kim Kardasshian is the likely choice, but maybe that idiot Jeff Ross will come back cuz he’s been bitchin’ that it wasn’t fair that he was canned so early, because Edyta poked him in the eye. She did it to keep his slimey hands off of her. This could give Cloris another week of pole dancing Corky.

Boston Legal has a new episode at 10pm. Maybe Alan will finally suck Denny Crane’s dong before he makes his politically charged closing in the courtroom.

CBS has it’s Monday night sitcom line-up. This formula works well for them:

Big Bang Theory at 8pm. (new episode)

How I Met Your Mother at 8:30pm. (new episode)

Two & a Half Men at 9pm (new episode)

Worst Week at 9:30pm. (new episode) I thought this show was really funny. When he had the dead bird in his pocket and tried to throw it away, the dog kept bringing it back to him. hahahahaha! (guess ya had to see it) I give this show a “check it out”.

NBC:

Chuck at 8pm. (new episode) Isn’t Chuck a robot like Data?

Heroes at 9pm. (new episode) This season is much better than S#2. The writers are giving it another try. There are some holes in the plotline, but they more than make up for it, with new ideas of who the villians & heroes are. If you gave up on it last season, give it another shot.

Life at 10pm. (new episode) I have 2 episodes on my dvr already. I just might have to delete this show. Too many other shows need the space, like my Good Eats with Alton Brown shows.

CW:

Gossip Girl at 8pm. (new episode)

Privileged at 9pm. (new episode) This new show premiered last Tuesday night at 9pm.

I can’t really give my opinions on these shows because my satellite provider doesn’t give me this network, but I know alot of you really like Gossip Girl. Maybe I should check it out on the PC. (yes, I’m a PC too!)

FOX:

Terminator: The Sarah Conners Chronicles at 8pm. (new episode) I watched it last year and thought it was Xena: Warrior Princess in the future.

Prison Break at 9pm. (new episode) What is taking these guys so long to break out!

MTV:

Sex with Mom and Dad at 8 & 8:30pm. Boy, they found alot of parents to humiliate their kids. Why didn’t they call me!

Exiled at 9pm. Meleny herds llamas. Those nasty bastards are gonna spit all over her.

The Hills at 10pm. Need I say more?

AMC has TROY at 8pm if you want to watch a great movie! I love it when Brad Pitt drags Hecter around in the dirt. God he was hot in that movie, all tanned & buff, glistening in the sun.

There’s a mini-marathon of LOST: S#1 starting at 7pm on the SciFi Channel.

I think I’ve found enough things to watch. (I’m definitely watching TROY) There’s some new shows and premieres coming up during the week, so check back with me and I’ll give ya the scoop. I’m going to the couch and watch True Blood again. I’m obsessed!

Love

chooch