TV Patrol: Monday Mayhem!

Holy Crap! I forgot Heroes was still on! I was sure we wouldn’t see it for a long, long time, but here it is, starting a new chapter! YAY! I missed it. Did you? Let’s talk about it after the jump………..

NBC has finally brought three of it’s best shows back to Monday nights. That stupid dance show was a waste of broadcast air. Chuck is back at 8pm, leading into Heroes Vol#4 at 9pm. It’s been so long since I’ve seen either of these shows, I don’t remember what’s going on.

Chuck is in 3-D tonight & has a very special guest star, Dominic Monaghan (Charlie from LOST!!). He’s a global rock star (type-casting?) marked for murder & the agents need to kidnap him to expose the plot. Please don’t let him die again Chuck!

Heroes Vol#4 is called “A Clear & Present Danger”. But WHO exactly is? Nathan? Sylar? HRG? or maybe even Aldo is this “danger”. Our heroes lives are suppose to go back to normal, that is until Nathan decides he needs to hunt down all those with abilities & destroy them. I hope Sylar cuts his brain out. I’m excited!

Medium starts it’s 5th season at 10pm. This is one of NBC’s best dramas & it’s good to see it back. Makes me wonder what will happen to it when NBC give Jay Leno the 10pm slot.

The season finale of Bromance is on MTV tonight at 9pm. Our man Brody has his mommy come & give the last three guys lie-detetector tests & sends one of the lying bastards packing. Brody goes to the hometown of each of the remaining two. He hangs with their real friends and finds out which one’s the worst douchebag of the two. Then he makes his decision on which one will become his new BFF! The winner squeals with joy & the loser cries like a baby. That’s the way it is with dudes. They can’t handle rejection.

MTV also has Real World: Brooklyn at 8pm. The City is at 10pm, followed by Daddy’s Girls at 10:30pm.

VH1 is airing two new series tonight.

I Love Money 2 premieres tonight at 9pm. Hosted by Craig J. Jackson, the shores of Huatulco, Mexico are about to be crashed again, as 19 not-so lucky-in-love cast members from Flavor of Love, Rock Of Love, I Love New York, and now Real Chance of Love, battle it out for a chance to win $250,000.

Brandi’s baby brother has his own show. He’s got 14 girls moving into his mansion with him on For The Love of Ray J at 10:30pm. Is this the only way these young, hunky, black kids can get a date? I can understand Bret Michaels & his bus full of skanks, but Ray J doesn’t need any help dating. Just look at him! Besides, I wouldn’t want Lil’ Kim comin’ after me to kick my ass!

CBS has it’s usual Monday night line-up:
Big Bang Theory at 8pm, has our hero Sheldon helping Penny with a financial crisis which results in Leonard getting his ass kicked by Penny’s ex.

How I Met Your Mother at 8:30pm, is all about Robin being deported in 4 days & Barney coming to her aid. (I see a ‘damsel in distress’ theme here).

Two & a Half Men at 9pm, is all about Alan’s receptionist, Melissa wanting him to move in with her & her crazy, pot-smoking mom, played sooo well by Carol Kane.

Worst Week airs at 9:30pm. Sam & Mel’s nephew takes their picture when they’re doin’ it & is going to enter it in the school photo fair. This causes real problems for Sam. I love this show. I think it’s not just slap-stick comedy. It has focused on character development which makes it even funnier. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that ABC doesn’t dump it.

CSI: Miami is at 10pm. Alexx (Khandi Alexander) returns to the show.

ABC has a 2-hour The Bachelor at 8pm. Jason takes the remaining 5 to his hometown of Seattle, to meet his friends & family. He takes three on a ferry ride, one on a boat ride & one out for a fondue dinner. One gets the shaft & the last 4 take him to their hometowns next week.

True Beauty is on at 10pm. I watched this show last week because the old people were on it. I hate to admit this to you guys, but I’m going to watch these superficial attention whores again tonight. They are going to have to do a 30 second video on ‘natural beauty’ with no make-up, hairstylist, or mirrors. They are going to throw a fit. I can’t wait!

FOX has House at 8pm. Thirteen is finally going to get sick now that she’s really on the test drug. Cuddy’s making House’s life miserable which is a sure sign that they’ll be f*cking soon.
24 is on after, at 9pm. It’s Day #7 from 2-3pm. I don’t understand it, so I’m not going to try and explain it to you guys. Just watch. It’s getting good.

The CW has Gossip Girl at 8pm & One Tree Hill at 9pm.

DSC has two episodes of the new series One Way Out at 9 & 9:30pm, about the escapologist Jonathan Goodwin, who attempts to get out of the most unusual places & situations such as a barrel rolling a hill. Hey, we all gotta do somethin’.

TNT has The Closer at 9pm, followed by the new show Trust Me with Eric McCormack & Tom Cavanagh at 10pm. I watched this last week & it’s not that memorable. I’m sitting here right now trying to think about it & I got nothing.

FOOD Network has another episode of Will Work For Food at 8:30pm. If you haven’t seen this one yet, it’s like Dirty Jobs, but without hottie Mike Rowe & it’s with food. Geeky host, Adam Gertler,is going to make a 19th century meal by milking a cow, chopping wood & churning butter. zzzzzzzzz….

TRAVEL gives us a new Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations at 10pm. He hits all the hot spots in Chicago.

A&E has new Paranormal State at 10 & 10:30pm. An abandoned church is haunted by malevolent spirits & a firehouse is visited by the ghost of a dead comrade. This stuff tends to give me the willy-nillys when I’m alone. Especially when Jennifer Love-Hewitt doesn’t live around here.

I think tonight you have some great choices for TV. I’m watching Heroes & recording CBS’s line-up. (…and I’m gonna watch True Beauty too). Have a good evening kids.

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