TV Patrol: Monday: Momma’s Finale.

Did anyone watch the new show, The United States of Tara on Showtime last night. I thought it was funny for a pilot episode, not LOL funny, but oddly amusing. Tara’s ‘altered’ personalities are interesting. Toni Collette’s portrayal of a the hip, young teenager, “T”, was a little over the top, but I loved her “Buck” dude. Next week, we get introduced to the ‘June Cleaver’ Tara. I do like the way the family, especially Tara’s husband, find these bouts all normal. Her daughter’s embarassment isn’t much more than a normal teen’s angst when dealing with screwball parents & she gets along with T. This show can sustain it’s half-hour time slot. If it were an hour, it would be a bit too much. It’s definitely not Sybil.

Big Love‘s premiere on HBO was worth the long wait. I won’t spoil it for anybody. Let’s just say that the life of a bigamist is as it should be. Lots of bickering & name calling & some misunderstandings & a great ending! Bill has his hands full this season. Loved it!

Let’s get to today’s schedule.

The Bachelor, on at 8pm on ABC, has 12 wannabes at the start of the show, but Jason manages to weed them down to nine by the end. He’s getting alot of mileage out of his kid. One of our Bachlorettes is a mom & a date to Legoland is on the agenda. Wonder when they go to Disneyworld?

True Beauty follows at 10pm, also on ABC. The self-absorbed ‘beauties’ have to listen to a wardrobe stylist (planted) whine & cry about her horrible break-up while they are getting ready for a photo shoot. Who’s going to care…..that is the question? I don’t even care, do you?

House is BACK! Yes, our lovable, crabby doctor is finally back at 8pm on FOX. Forman is still swapping spit with Thirteen & Cuddy’s having trouble working & taking care of Baby. The big story of the night is a suicidal patient with chronic pain, just like House. Maybe they’ll share a couple of Vicodins together, or make a suicide pact. Either way, it’s bound to be interesting.

24 follows at 9pm. It’s day #7 and we watch the new President & Jack work on a terrorist threat from noon to 1pm & then break for a late lunch.

This is going to upset alot of you, but tonight is the finale of Momma’s Boys on NBC at 10pm. I know, it hasn’t been on long enough. You just start figuring out which skank is which & it’s over. The boys have to hear who Momma wants & then pick their dream mate. The funniest part is that it’s listed as “the first season finale”. Hahahaha! They forgot “& last” to that statement.

The FOOD Channel has a NEW series starting tonight. Will Work For Food begins at 8:30pm. It’s host, Adam Gertler, is so funny to watch. He goes on a lobster boat tonight & gets seasick & later visits a bee farm & tries to harvest honey. He makes the show!

Superstars of Dance is on at 8pm. It’s week #4, if anyone is watching. I lost interest after week # 1. Sorry, I’m just not all that international.

CBS, of course, has it’s winning Monday night line-up with all NEW episodes of :

The Big Bang Theory at 8pm. It’s another episode revolving around Sheldon, so it’s sure to be a winner.

How I Met Your Mother at 8:30pm has a blizzard hitting the city, much like real life! Get this, it’s been reported that the producers have hired Laura Prepon (Donna from That 70′s Show) to play Ted’s future girlfriend. She will be in 5 episodes. They are hinting that she just may be the “future mother”. Didn’t they do that with Sarah Chalke? Will we ever know who ‘mother’ is? Is this why we watch this show anyways?

Two & a Half Men at 9pm has Alan all in a twitter because Judith is knocked up & he thinks he’s the daddy. I’m sure the one-liners will be flowing. That’s the best part of this show, it’s dirty jokes.

Worst Week is at 9:30pm. Sam pukes when he sees puppies being born, so his wife thinks he’s gonna do the same thing in the delivery room. Don’t ya just love Sam.

CSI: Miami is at 10pm. Murder at a horsetrack & Ryan’s involved. Isn’t Ryan, H’s brother?

CW has a NEW Gossip Girl at 8pm & One Tree Hill at 9pm.

A&E has two NEW Intervention‘s at 8 & 9pm. Heroin, cocaine & meth….Oh my!

ABCFamily is airing NEW episodes of Secret Life of an American Teen at 8pm & Kyle XY at 9pm. These two shows are stomping all over Gossip Girl & One Tree Hill in the ratings these past few weeks.

Bromance, on tonight on MTV, has our Brody BFF wannabes having to prove their manhood in a parking lot at a Biker Bar. They each have to take down a biker! I need to see this. Later, Brody leaves a ‘surprise’ in their tents! Sounds sooo gay porn!

There are also New The City at 10pm & Daddy’s Girls at 10:30pm.

If anyone missed The L-Word, The United States of Tara or Secret Diary of a Call Girl premieres last night, SHOWTIME is repeating them again tonight starting at 9pm.

That’s it for me kids. I’m watching the CBS line-up & House.

LOST Countdown…….. only 2 days left!!!!



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