Oh Veronica Mars, you really do suck me in with that spell of yours. Most of the comments and the e-mail I get about the show are centered around me getting the Season 1 DVD so I can have a better appreciation for the show. I am sure it would be nice, but I don’t think you need to know the ins and outs of Season 1 to enjoy the show now. I know they aren’t the same show, but I never watched the first season of 24 until there was a marathon Labor Day of 2002, and even then, I never saw the first 8 or 9 episodes until a coworker let me borrow the DVDs a few weekends back. What I am trying to get at is that there is still time for you to get the fever and tune in. This week served up a lot of great high school backstabbing, and featured a blast from the past and a revelation that Veronica likes to oil up her boobs.The big fuss from last week, aside from the developments of the ongoing investigation into what happened on the bus, was that Nathan Woods introduced himself to Wallace. Meeting his father is a big deal because the only father that he knew was dead and buried in Cleveland. Sure it’s great to know your real dad, but in Wallace’s case, it means that his entire life was a lie. His mom tries to explain that his real father was a narcotics officer, but he got a little too much into his undercover work and came back to the house with guns and heroin. Hell, he still has that 1988 Michael Irvin-style bullet graze in the side of his head. And I know that it might have been hard to find a suitable actor, but considering how tall his mom is and now that we find out how tall his dad is, don’t you think Wallace would have been a little taller? He’s a baller and he has a good-looking girl and he calls her, but the evidence tells me that his dad would be about DL Hughley’s height.
Like many high schools and colleges around the country, Neptune was celebrating homecoming. And what better way is there for Veronica to embarrass Wallace and show how much she cares about him at the same time than nominating him for homecoming court? It’s the perfect idea! And you just know that somebody is going to nominate Veronica Mars. In fact the title of my post comes from one kid’s description of her. Veronica has quite the reputation in her school, and is actually pretty popular, which is rare for any show involving a teenager who fights crime. So many people think she is super nice, although there is a subset that could do without her name being mentioned all the time, and this includes Jackie and Logan and some random girl who says her ass could be a better homecoming queen.
I am going to start my Logan penis head comments early in this recap, so don’t complain, because you have been warned. Logan is still a penis head; I am sorry, but that fact cannot be disputed. I am sure the actor who plays him is a fine gentleman, but the fact remains that his head looks like a penis. That doesn’t mean he isn’t a good actor or that I hate him personally, it’s just the facts. As for Logan, maybe some of you peeps more familiar with the show can help me out. We glossed over a lot of Veronica’s breakup with Logan and get together with Duncan, so do you think Logan is over Veronica? Sure he had sex with the hottest woman in Neptune (I guess all of the Casablancas have left town now that they are poor?), and says he is so over her, but all of his hate is so fake, at least from my perspective.
Maybe Logan has a vagina head, and it looks like he just got his period.
Maybe I’m just a fanboi and think everybody should love Veronica, but most people eventually come around. Take Jackie (please!). I think she cares about Wallace, although she does seem out of his league, but she can’t stand that he is best friends with Veronica. Still, when the time comes, even she is able to sack up and ask for forgiveness, in exchange for a little help. Jackie went to a psychic and her credit card was declined, and she needs Veronica’s help solving the crime. Earlier in the season, Wallace played sleuth, but I guess now that he has Jackie, he doesn’t want to bother with those type of problems. His main focus now is keeping himself spongeworthy. Anyway, Jackie suspects that her friend Cora might have done it. The purchases are for things like candles and a leather jacket and a bunch of other things at the mall. Jackie is completely sincere when she says that she hopes Veronica finds that it isn’t Cora, because Jackie only has one friend in the school, and Cora is it.
When Alicia was talking to Wallace that morning, she had looked around for some documents she had in her living room. Apparently they were some historical documents including birth certificate and the like. They were missing, and she knew that Keith must have had them. She goes to his office and wonders why Keith took those things from her. I am wondering two things. First, how long did Keith expect to have them before she would notice and second, why is she keeping such important documents in an unlocked drawer in her living room right next to the front door? Isn’t that just asking for theft? These documents lead to an argument with Keith saying that she should have lied to Wallace, and Alicia saying that Keith is not the person to be giving parenting advice.
By the way, Nathan has not given up hope on Wallace. He meets him at the store where he works and tries to explain what happened. Alicia had told Wallace that Nathan had made a choice between fatherhood and his job, and he took the job, but that was not how Nathan said it went down. He said that he wanted to be a father but Alicia never gave him the choice. She moved away, didn’t leave a forwarding address, and the only way he knew she existed was through Wallace’s grandmother. To prove that he tried for so many years, Nathan shows Wallace letters that he had sent to her mom. All of them were “Return to Sender” in red writing that matched Alicia’s writing.
It looks like the nominations for homecoming king and queen came in and while Veronica didn’t make it, Wallace did. She did a lot more campaigning for him than she expected. Veronica’s boy Duncan was also nominated, and I have to say, I am not sure why Veronica is into him either. Maybe all of the Duncan lovers will now hate me, but Veronica seems like she wouldn’t be with somebody so stupid and nearly universally shallow. At least the little love war going on between Logan and Duncan is finished, or appears to be. Duncan offered Logan (who shares and feeds Jackie’s Veronica hate or envy or whatever you want to call it and even appears to be hitting on her) to come over to his hotel suite and have a golf tournament to build bridges. Ah, the life of an emancipated, filthy rich minor.
Although Jackie still doesn’t love Veronica, she is still depending on the girl to get some information on the credit card theft. Veronica bumps into Cora, who has a leather jacket and bag that look suspiciously like items that were charged on Jackie’s credit card. Having been Cora’s badminton partner in 9th grade, Veronica has no problem inviting herself to a little shopping trip with Cora, who says she bought all of her items at an outlet mall in Chatsworth.
In order to get a look at Cora’s closet, Veronica spills some coffee on her blouse and asks Cora to borrow a top. Wouldn’t you know it, there is a garment bag stuffed in the back of Cora’s closet, but when she opens it, she finds only a chicken suit from Oh Boyo Pollo. For those of you on the East Coast, there is a chain of restaurants called El Pollo Loco. While their commercials don’t feature a chicken suit, the actor who plays what is supposed to be some hot Mexican chicken grillmaster has such a bad Spanish accent, you would think that it’s not the chicken that is crazy, but the executives.
Still needing to figure out who stole Jackie’s credit card, Veronica goes to the only place on the list that is not at the mall. It turns out that place is the psychic that Jackie went to, who seems to have a lot of the items that were purchased with the stolen card, including what looks to be $500 worth of candles. Case closed, sort of, because why is Jackie going to a psychic? When Veronica asks Jackie, she says that her grandmother died two years ago and even if this woman who is telling her that her grandmother is in peace has about as much sense of reality as she does spirituality, it’s still a comfort. Veronica then shares with Jackie that she knows all about things that aren’t quite as advertised, and relates the story of how she purchased some MammoMax when she was a freshman in hopes of improving her bust. Veronica decides to be on the psychic’s show and pull a trick to show everybody else what a fraud this woman is.
There were a couple of big developments in the bus crash this week. The first we learned during the debate for sheriff between Lamb and Keith Mars. Keith was so happy that he said his campaign was on a gravy train with biscuit wheels, and we know the current sheriff is no match for Keith one on one, or at least that’s what we thought. It’s hard to imagine that Keith wasn’t prepared, but the sheriff threw him off when he said that Keith Mars pulled the bus driver over for a DUI stop many years ago, but let him go without writing him up. If the man had a DUI on his record, the school would have never hired him, and the crash never would have happened. Score one for the sheriff, who instantly made the race a dead heat with that statement.
Although the sheriff’s line of reasoning might make for some good headlines, it would be hard to prove what Keith did was criminal, or even if it directly related to the crash. If there was proof that the crash was not driver error, it would be a moot point. There was no proof of that concept until Veronica went to talk to Michelle, a girl who was on the psychic show who talked about the bus accident. Michelle was also feeling guilt because she skipped the field trip, and the psychic lady said her friend forgave her for not being on the bus. She also revealed to Veronica that she received a voice message right as the bus was going off the cliff. In the background, you hear a loud noise, which seems like an explosion, moments before the bus hits the guardrail and goes over.
Inspired by the way the Sheriff blindsided her dad, Veronica plants a listening device in his office. She used some Kane software letterhead she got from Duncan and forged a letter from Duncan’s dad to the Sheriff. In it was a beetle, supposedly a souvenir, but is actually what Veronica is going to use to listen in on the Sheriff. When she is home reviewing the recordings, she hears a conversation between Jackie’s dad, the star baseball player, and Sheriff Lamb. In this conversation, Lamb convinces Terrence to buy 1000 tickets to the policeman’s benefit, which we all know is going to a slush fund. As leverage, Lamb says that he has evidence of Terrence’s gambling problem, including stories of how he threw games to help people who bet on baseball.
That’s a lot of information to process all at once, but Veronica still has to take down Ms. Psychic. Personally, I don’t go to any psychic unless she is topless and has a third nipple. There’s just no way else you can be sure of the veracity of their statements. With help from Michelle, Veronica planted a bunch of false statements to a person backstage she knew was responsible for gleaning information and prepping the people in the audience who would be contacted. At first, things are going well. Veronica gets a laugh when the psychic starts talking about her fake dead uncle, but then things get personal and the psychic talks about Lilly and that Lily wants Veronica to stay away from her boyfriend, but really shouldn’t that have been stay away from my brother? Veronica is always shaken up about Lilly, but then she hears the psychic mention that she doesn’t need the MammoMax, and she knows that she was set up.
If there is any game that Veronica can play, it is revenge. Jackie has just upped the ante, humiliating Veronica in front of most of the town, but Veronica has a way to get back at her. If you piss off Veronica, the only thing you should be thinking of is BOHICA, because she’s going to get you and you’ll feel it. She makes a CD of Jackie’s dad talking to the sheriff about gambling with the intention of playing it at the homecoming dance. Before she can do that, Wallace comes over to see if she was OK, but more importantly, he wants her not to retaliate, because he really likes Jackie. When Veronica acts like she has the right, it really pisses Wallace off.
There is a point in time when any master/sidekick relationship is tested, and this is one of them. Veronica said that Wallace had to pick a side, and he had enough. He had always been there for Veronica without asking too much for himself. He gave up the nookie to help her out, and even though it was for money, his relationship with Veronica is straining his relationship with Jackie, but he still defended Veronica. Now, he just wants her to do one favor and let whatever beef she had with Jackie go. It’s Veronica’s world and he just lives in it, but you would think that for once she would notice all of the things going on in his life and realize he needs more than just a homecoming nomination to sort his life out and feel good about what’s going on around him. After that, Wallace heads to Jackie’s to ask her why she did that to Veronica. She says it was supposed to be a punking and was just to take her down a notch and she didn’t tell anybody about Lily (but I bet Logan did…). Wallace says that he is not going to take her to the dance, and even though I have been wondering about how much Jackie cared about Wallace, she took some pills after he non-dumped her. If a guy or girl upsets you so much that you take drugs to deal with the pain of losing them, you may be in love.
Before heading off to the dance, Veronica plays the voice message for her father, urging him to use it in order to clear his name, but Keith refuses. He doesn’t want to use the emotions surrounding the deaths of those people to push his agenda, which makes him just about the only person on the planet with a sense of decency in that regard. He does, however, take the recording to the sheriff, hoping that Lamb will use this new evidence to help in his investigation. Unfortunately, Lamb is more interested in winning sheriff than helping people, and is not going to bother with anything that might help clear Keith Mars of wrongdoing.
Veronica is makes it to homecoming, and is enjoying herself, but when she sees that Jackie is dancing with Logan, she flips. I think that Jackie and Logan are just friends, and since Jackie doesn’t really have anybody to turn to, I think she was just happy Logan was there for her since Wallace sent her packing. I’m not saying that Logan wouldn’t hit it in her vulnerable state, but I’m not going to call him shady just yet, and it sure didn’t warrant storming over, separating the two of them and yelling at Jackie. Already Jackie can barely stand from whatever pills she took, but she is coherent enough to tell Veronica that she should just pick a guy and let everybody else live their lives.
The result of all of this? Wallace leaves with his dad. We aren’t sure where, but he is gone. His mother lied to him about his father’s letters and he feels betrayed. Veronica did give him some advice about the whole situation because she knows a lot about being raised by one parent, having the other parent leave you, and feeling lied to by the parent who stays because they wanted to protect you. She had all the same questions Wallace had, and her advice to him was that the one who sticks with you is the one who cares. Your father is a police officer, how could it have been that hard to track you down, especially when your mom hasn’t changed her name or yours? Still, Wallace is confused enough that he has to get away from it all, and Nathan Woods is giving him that chance. You can’t blame him for wanting to know more about his father; even if it means his mother was right about everything, sometimes you need to hear it yourself.