Saturday Night at the Movies

“Saturday Night Live” is having a surprise guest on their show tonight. It’s Sarah Palin’s ‘Maverick’ running mate, Sen. John McCain. This is not the Senator’s first appearance on “SNL”. He hosted the show back in 2002. Ben Affleck is the host tonight & David Cook, my friend Rach’s favorite “American Idol” winner, will sing loudly as the musical entertainment. If I’m not mistaken, Ben Affleck is a huge Obama supporter. Maybe he’ll refuse to host & McCain will have to step in. Then they’ll parade Tina Fey out as Gov. Palin, and poor, old John won’t know the difference, He’ll try to get her to spend the weekend campaigning with him. She’ll try to get away, hit him on the head, knock him out, & get arrested for ‘senator abuse’. While being lead to a police cruiser, Ms. Fey will be shot down by Gov. Palin, who is flying overhead in a helicopter with a rifle & wearing an “Armani” hunting jacket. All this action gives David Cook a chance to scream out his ‘premiere’ song, “Light On”. Back stage, we see Sen. Obama hand Lorne Michaels $1 million dollars. He then comes onstage, sits on a desk, and tell us, the viewers, how he will be frugal with our tax money, thus making the ratings go thru the roof once again. (which wouldn’t be funny at all if it weren’t for this election.) Damn, I should write for “SNL”! Let’s jump………..

Sorry, can’t. My knees.

I would love to comment on last night’s TV fare, but there was absolutely nothing worth talking about. Tonight is even worse. I can’t believe the crap they’re putting out. It’s insulting to think that every American is not watching TV on Saturday night. I can’t be the only shut-in.

Let the “FECES-FEST” begin!

FOX gets the top spot tonight. They are at least airing new programs.

“Cops” at 8pm. (new)

“Cops” at 8:30pm. (repeat) Well, one repeat doesn’t count.

“America’s Most Wanted” at 9pm. (new) Gotta keep on top of these frickin’ criminals. A friend of mine had his boss on this show. He had killed a co-worker (the boss, not my friend). The guy was in hiding. After the show aired, he was caught & convicted. He’s in the clinker now. This show works.

“MadTV” at 11pm. (new) Ne Yo is a guest. (who the hell is he?)

“”Talk Show with Spike Feresten” at 12am. (new)

CBS:

“CSI: Miami” at 8pm. (REPEAT)

“CSI” at 9pm. (REPEAT)

“48 Hrs: Mystery” at 10pm. (NEW!!)

NBC:

“Knight Rider” at 8pm. (REPEAT)

“Knight Rider” again at 9pm. (another REPEAT)

“Law & Order: SVU” at 10pm. (REPEAT)

ABC has College Football.at 8pm. Texas @ Texas Tech.

CMT:

“Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling” at 8pm. (NEW) I’m a wrestling fan, so I love this show! I met “Mankind” (Mick Foley) once at a book signing in Wal-Mart. I also met Kurt Angle outside “Denny’s” in the parking lot.

“My Big Redneck Wedding” at 9pm. (NEW)

“Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team” at 9:30pm. (NEW)

APL:

“Dogs 101″ at 8pm. (NEW) Jonathan from “Groomer Has it” is one of the “expert” talking heads during this show. Remember him? He thought for sure he was the winner of that show, but Artist kicked his ass! Okay, the dogs showcased tonight are the Boxer, Bichon, Frise, Newfoundland, Beagle, & the Weiner Dog! (Dachshund).

“It’s Me or the Dog” at 9pm. (NEW) Victoria Stillwell from Britain is in the US taking up Ceasar Milan’s slack.

Discovery Channel has a whole night of “Dirty Jobs” (REPEATS) starting at 8pm. Mike Rowe is worth repeating tho.

HISTORY Channel is embracing the political atmosphere by bringing back their 2005 series on “The Presidents”. The night starts at 8pm with “Washington to Monroe” (1789-1825) and going on till midnight, ending with “Woodrow Wilson to FDR” (1913-1945). Record this for the kids. They may get a passing grade in history if they watch it.

TLC has a NEW episode of “Trading Spaces” at 10pm.

FX is airing the first episode of “30 Days” at 12:30am (sun). Morgan Spurlock and his then fiancee, spend a month trying to live on minimum wage. If you don’t remember him, Spurlock did the award-winning documentary “SuperSize Me” where he spent a month eating nothing but McDonald’s food and documented what it did to his health & body. He has since produced his own show on FX, “30 Days” where he and others spend a month doing and living different lifestyles for a month. Season 4 is in production now. There are only 6 episodes per season. You can watch all 3 seasons on FX’s website.

That’s it for “FECES-FEST”.

Now on to “SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES!”

I found alot of good movies. Here’s the list in alphabetical order:

ABC Family: “The Wedding Singer” at 9pm. (1998)

A&E: “The Shining” at 8pm. (1980)

AMC: “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” at 8pm. (1977)

BRAVO: “Lethal Weapon” at 9pm. (1987)

CINEMAX: “Charlie’s Angels” at 8:15pm. (2000)

COM. CENTRAL: “Super Troopers” at 8pm. (2001) “Thank You for Not Smoking” at 10pm. (2005)

ENCORE:

“Back to the Future” at 6pm. (1985)

“Back to the Future II” at 8pm. (1989)

“Back to the Future III” at 10pm. (1990)

FMC: “Aliens” at 8pm. (1986) Sequel to “Alien” (57 yrs. later).

FX: “Planet of the Apes” at 6:30pm. (2001 remake by Tim Burton) “Fantastic Four” at 9pm. (2005)

HBO: “27 Dresses” at 8pm. (2008)

IFC: “Asassination Tango” at 9pm. (2002) Robert Duvall

LIFE: “Bridget Jones’s Diary” at 9pm. (2001)

MNT: “”Misery” at 8pm. (1990) Stephen King

MTV: “Without a Paddle” at 8pm. (2004) Seth Green

SciFi: “Fire & Ice” at 7pm. (2008) fantasy “Beowulf” at 9pm. (1999)

SpikeTV: “Boyz in the Hood” at 11pm. (1991)

STARZ: “Super Bad” at 9pm. (2007)

TBS: “Fun with Dick & Jane” at 8pm. (2005) Jim Carrey

TCM: “A Star is Born” at 10pm. (1937) Judy Garland

TNT: “Independence Day” at 8pm. (1996) Will Smith

USA: “The Bourne Identity” at 8:30pm. (2002) Matt Damon

If you can’t find a movie to watch out of this list, then you need to switch to the Cartoon Network and watch “ED, EDD, & EDDY”.

love

chooch