TV Patrol: Special Sunday

Are you gonna watch TV tonight? I’ll tell ya what’s on after the jump…..

I was surprised to find so little Easter-related television on today. I was expecting to see the epic 1965 movie, “The Greatest Story Ever Told” playing on one of the many movie channels, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. WTF? I did find a few holiday-themed movies.

Judy Garland & Fred Astaire sing & dance their way through 1948′s Easter Parade which airs at 7pm. That is followed by the 1961 King of Kings which chronicles the life of Christ & his persecution in the court of Herod the Great. This leads to his crucifixion & resurrection.

ShowTime has the season 2 premiere of Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union at 10pm, following a new episode of The Tudors at 9pm. Tracey takes on America’s topical absurdities with that famous British wit. Her portrayal of former First Lady Laura Bush is hilarious. She also transforms into gold-digger Heather Mills, ex-wife of Paul McCartney.

As for The Tudors, our hero, King Henry the VIII, takes a mistress even though he has a huge, infected, gash in his leg from a jousting match. That new bride smell must have worn off! He’s still got those pesky rebels to deal with in the North & sends Brandon to deal with the Catholic uprising. The King is just too busy screwing all the women in the castle.

ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, at 8pm, rebuilds the home of a dying man who’s house was ravished by a tornado. It’s sure to be a kleenex-filled episode. The big reveal is preceeded by a surprise performance by Stevie Wonder for the family. I wonder if he tours the remodeled home to see all the renovations?

Celebrity Apprentice airs tonight on NBC, at 9pm. After Trump’s ridiculous reasoning for firing two people last week, I’m not sure just what it takes to win this game. If your a guy & you’re a drunk on camera, you can go on for weeks before you’re fired. If you’re a girl & you don’t tell him you are going to your court-ordered rehab classes, you’re fired. The fact that Clint Black is still there proves what we all know to be true. He’s good television & Klhoe Kardashian was a bore. Oh well, things get ugly again tonight. I’ll be watching!

CBS’s The Amazing Race 14 is on at 8pm. The teams are still in Bankok & I’m sure Jamie is pissed that no one speaks english there. With Mel & Mike eliminated, I’m not sure who I want to win anymore. Maybe I could root for those stunt guys, Mark & Michael. Victor & his sister Tammy are assholes sometimes, but they could very well win this thing. Maybe I should jump on their bandwagon now so I can say “I told ya so” when they win. I could go with the flow & pick deaf Luke & mom Margie. What the hell….. Go Victor & Tammy!!!!

It’s the season finale of Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels on VH1 at 10pm. Bret did a stupid thing & got rid of all those skanky blondes. Now he’s got two whiney, pissy brunette whores who care more for each other than him. What the f*ck was he thinking? I’m hoping he kicks them both to the curb & drives off into the sunset with Big John. I’ll definitely puke if Taya “rocks his world”. We”l find out tonight.

It’s Biker Nite on NGC! We’ve got Outlaw Bikers: Inside the Outlaws at 9pm, followed by Outlaw Bikers: Warlock Wars at 10pm. In the first, an Outlaw member turns squealer for the FBI & tells about how it screwed up his whole life. In the second show, an ATF agent infiltrates the Warlocks Biker Club & forms his own chapter in Central Fla. with all undercover cops as members. I think alot of biker clubs get a raw deal. I’ve had some good times with some of these guys. It’ll be interesting to watch.

New episode of Breaking Bad on AMC at 10pm. Stephen King LOVES this show. “Your Uncle Stevie may not care much for Mad Men, but he has never seen anything like BB on the tube.” Neither have I. Walt goes back to work at the high school & gives Jesse the gun to “take care of” the crack-whore who ripped off Skinny Pete. I just know Jesse’s gonna f*ck it up, but that’s what makes this show so intense! I can’t wait!

For those of you who don’t fast-forward the commercials when watching a show, I’ve got the perfect viewing special. TBS has World’s Funniest Office Commercials at 8pm. You can watch commercials for the whole hour! But…. how many of you will FF the commercials between the commercials? The host is Mike O’Malley from Yes Dear & he’s there to keep you from getting confused.

Just a few more things & then I’m done. I’ve got to put my ham butt in the “set it & forget it” rotisserie.

The Departed with Leonardo DiCaprio & Matt Damon is on at 7:30pm on FX. This 2006 Martin Scorsese film is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Jack Nickolson as Boston’s Irish mob boss is brutally realistic. The ending is a stunner! This is my pick for the “Sunday Night Movie”. If you’ve seen it, it’s always good to watch again.

Everyone have a Happy Easter! Hope you find all those hidden eggs.

love

chooch