TV Patrol: ABC’s Summer Schedule

ABC is starting off it’s summer fun with season 6 of The Bachelorette. This time around it’s Ali Fedotowsky, who left Jake Pavelka (most recent Bachelor) because her work was more important. Now she’s found a better job. ABC made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. It will premiere on Mon. May 24th at 9pm & then take up it’s regular timeslot at 8pm the following week. Check out the rest of the summer season…..

Mon. May 31:
10pm: True Beauty returns for a second season. Gawd, I thought this superficial nightmare was never coming back. See what I get for thinking, which is something not required on this reality show. Five self-centered women & 5 self-absorbed men will live together at Planet Hollywood Hotel and they think they’re competing to become the “Face of Vegas.” The judges are really looking for “inner beauty” with moral challenges like helping granny across the street or holding a door open for a crippled kid. At least it only lasts 8 episodes. The winner gets $100,000 & mentioned in People Magazine’s “100 Most Beautiful People” edition.

Tue. June 1st:
8pm WipeOut returns for a 3rd season with a 2-hour special. Love is in the air as 12 single guys and 12 single girls are paired to take on the “Wipeout” course as their first date and a chance to win a grand prize of $100,000. New stunts to be featured this season are the Overdrive, Bruise Ball and Spin Cycle. The show will then return on June 22nd for it’s regular season.

Sun. June 20:
9pm: The Gates is described as a a private mountain community. It’s suburban bliss, each street is lined with perfectly manicured homes protected by the massive iron gates, but a dark and delicious secret is buried just beneath the surface of this picturesque neighborhood. I think it sounds like the nighttime soap opera has returned.

10pm: Scoundrels focuses on a family of small-time criminals who try to go straight after the father is sent to prison. Virginia Madsen (Sideways)will play Cheryl West, the mother who must take charge and try to keep her kids on the straight and narrow. It’s being called a comedy/drama series.

Thur. June 24:
9pm: Rookie Blue is just what it sounds like, a group of rookie cops getting out of cop school & onto the streets to fight crime. What’s interesting about this show isn’t the premise so much as its debut. This is a Canadian-based series, filmed in Toronto. It will simultaniously premiere on Global TV & ABC.
10pm: Boston Med is an 8-part docu-series, much like the old series Hopkins. It was filmed over four months at various medical facilities in the Boston area & will focus on doctors, nurses & the patients they treat. Coincides perfectly with the passing of the National Healthcare bill, doesn’t it.

Tue. June 29:
9pm: Downfall is a game show. One of the weirdest ones I’ve heard about in a long time. Okay, the contestants are all on top of a huge skyscraper & compete for prizes by answering questions. If they are wrong… the prize gets chucked over the side of the building. My question is this… what about the people below? Wonder if the prize is a NEW CAR!!!? What the hell is the point? There is an added twist. Each contestant can opt out by propelling themselves over the edge of the skyscrapper. Let me on this show!

Tue. July 20:
10pm: Primetime: Mind Games is the first in a limited 5-part series by ABC News, which takes you into the darkest corners of the human mind and how it can be twisted. It will showcase real cases where “reality” gives way to fantasy, much like most VH1 shows…. kidding!
Tue. Aug. 24:
10pm: Primetime: Crime is another limited ABC News series. It takes viewers inside investigations of breaking crime stories, and those that have been stumping authorities for years.

Mon. Aug. 9:
8pm: Bachelor Pad is helping all those past losers from The Bachelor & The Bachelorette by putting them all in the same place & letting them compete for “cash & prizes” and at the same time giving them a second chance at love. My lord… who comes up with these ideas? At least ABC is going green by recycling their trash. Twenty has-beens will live under one roof & each two-hour episode will conclude with someone getting thrown out. At the end of the six-episode run, one loser will become a winner & go home with some cash & maybe some ass.

10pm: Dating in the Dark is back for another season. This night-vision, match-making show is just creepy. Couples grope around in the dark, trying to decide if they ultimately want to see each other in the light of day. When some get a view of just who they’ve been slap & tickling, they can run away if they want. Most usually do. So much for “blind love”.

Tue. Aug. 10:
9pm: Shaq VS is back. Shaquille O’Neal will not focus entirely on sports-related competitions against other atheletes in their field, like he did last season. This time around he will also feature some fun, comedic non-sports competitions, such as a spelling bee contest or a dance crew battle, among others. Maybe he could be on Dancing with the Stars next season.

Thur. Aug. 19:
10pm: Head Cases, another ABC News series, focuses on how science and technology are enabling us to look inside our heads and affect the processes of the brain. Is it possible to detect a murderous mindset before a child reaches his 7th birthday? Can a permanent electrical pulse, fitted to the brain like a pace-maker, stop people from eating and reduce the obesity epidemic? Wouldn’t that be awesome?

I think that’s it. Is there anything you see that you might watch? Keep in mind, these shows will all compete against CBS’s Big Brother, FOX’s So You Think You Can Dance and NBC’s America’s Got Talent. All are big hits in the summertime.

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