TV Patrol: DVR Explosion!

Tonight is an overload of shows returning for a new season, but only one new show, Accidentally on Purpose, on CBS at 8:30pm is premiering tonight., It’s sandwiched between Emmy-nominated, How I Met Your Mother at 8pm & ratings bonanza, Two & a Half Men at 9pm. Is this so we’ll watch it? There is so much more to watch. Let’s get to it…..Before we get on with tonight’s smorgasbord of television, I just have to say that Ugly Betty‘s America Ferrera needs to thank Elisabeth Moss of Mad Men. Because of Elisabeth, America is no longer the worst-dressed star at awards shows.

Of course, no words can describe how I feel about Heidi Klum’s huge baby bump except “Avoid sharp objects!”

And the most beautiful woman on the red carpet last night was, of course, Christina Applegate, but she’d look beautiful in one of MY dresses.

If you are interested in all the Red Carpet EMMY Fashions, you can get all the best & worst from the experts at E!, which has Fashion Police tonight at 10pm. TVGuide also has their experts dissing the stars at 8pm with Emmy Fashion Wrap with Carrie Ann Inaba.

Okay, enough of the fashion show. There is way too much on TV tonight & I need to focus on the NOW!

As I said, tonight is the return of CBS’s comedy line-up with Jenna Elfman shoved in the middle of it all, in hopes that we’ll think it’s funny. Accidentally on Purpose is about a 30-something, newspaper whore journalist who slinks out one night & gets “knocked up” by a one-night stand. That’s soooo funny, right? Where does it go from there? Hmmmmm, she has a baby? I don’t like it already & I haven’t even seen it yet.
Let’s not forget that The Big Bang Theory returns at 9:30pm. I can’t wait to see the boys return from their Arctic summer camp. Laurie Metcalf returns as Sheldon’s God-preaching mom. This should be back at it’s original 8pm time slot with HIMYM at 8:30pm. Put Jenna & her bomb on at 9:30pm.
The sunglasses have returned for season # 8 of CSI: Miami. Delko has been found in the Everglades & while he’s on his deathbed, Horatio takes a trip down memory lane & just how the crew all got together for their first case.

ABC has it’s star-studded night of Sambas, Waltzes, & Paso Doble’s with the 9th season of Dancing With the Stars beginning it’s 3-night excessive extravaganza at 8pm. Tonight’s 2-hour show will showcase the men:

Chuck Liddell (UFC member)
Louie Vito (Olympic snowboarder)
Michael Irvin (Dallas Cowboy)
Ashley Hamilton (George’s kid)
Aaron Carter (Backstreet Boys Nick’s kid brother)
Donny Osmond (Pyramid host)
Mark Dacascos (Iron Chef)
Tom DeLay (dirty Republican)

The 2nd season premiere of the mystery/drama Castle airs at 10pm.

Over at NBC, we have the return of Heroes with it’s 4th season opener, “Jump Push Fall”. NBC has been desperately trying to get this show back on track after it’s awful 2nd & 3rd season disasters. It was beginning to hit it’s stride by the end of last season. Can it keep it going? I can only hope. The writers are promising fewer confusing storylines & teaming “Heroes” together. Tonight, as you can deduce by it’s title, centers around Claire & college. I’m giving it one more chance. How about you?
The Jay Leno Show follows at 10pm with Jennifer Garner as his guest.

I’ve saved the BEST network premiere for last. Of course I’m talking about House, on FOX at 8pm. This 2-hr premiere is the ONE to watch tonight! Last year’s season finale, filled with drug-induced hallucinations, left House on the doorstep of the looneybin. In this 6th season opener, Dr. House has met his match in detox, with his therapist, played by Andre Braugher, who doesn’t take crap from anybody, especially House. Of course there will be an unsolvable illness involved for House to cure, but it’s the battle he wages with his addictions that makes this so compelling to watch. I can’t wait!

The CW has new episodes of One Tree Hill at 8pm & Gossip Girl at 9pm.
ABCFamily is airing new episodes of Lincoln Heights at 8pm, followed by Greek at 9pm.
A&E has an all-new Intervention at 9pm & my new guilty pleasures show, Hoarders, is all-new at 10pm.

If you’re looking for something a little different, than I suggest Green Porno on Sundance at 8pm. This is a mini-series of 8 episodes, written & co-directed by Isabella Rossellini, which explores the curious way that insect have sex.

And with that, I will bid farewell. I really need to spend some time mapping out my DVR choices for tonight. I’m afraid it’s going to explode from all the programming I have to record! My “Pick of the Night” is House.

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chooch