TV Patrol: Monday’s Moments

Spank your children.

We’re gonna get right to it tonight. I’m on a tight schedule, so I’m hitting the high points. There are two Season Finales, “The Hills” on MTV at 10pm & “Prison Break” at 9pm on FOX.

ABC:

“Shrek the Halls” at 8pm. (special-repeat)

“Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” at 8:30pm. (special) The one hundreth airing of this movie in the past month. This is the Johnny Depp version.

CBS is airing all repeats of their Monday night line-up.

NBC:

“2008: TODAY Looks back, A Holiday Special” at 8pm (special) We get to see the hosts of the TODAY Show at night. Matt, Meredith, Al & Ann talk about the Top 5 news stories of the year (Britney’s meltdown, Angelina’s litter of kids, Lindsey’s a lesbo, Miley’s the new goldmine, & Madonna’s still a whore) & gossip about all the the other crap that’s happened this year, like Obama became the new Prez.

“Momma’s Boys” at 9pm. (new) I can’t believe that they are actually showing two hours of this show. This is why NBC is at the bottom of the ratings war. They get a new show & beat us over the head with it. (like “Knight Rider”).

FOX:

“House” at 8pm. (repeat)

“Prison Break” at 9pm. (Season Finale) This show is suppose to be packed with cliffhangers. One thing’s for sure, someone dies & someone is arrested as a result of a double cross. The show returns in the spring, so you won’t have to wait to long for answers.

CW has repeats of “Gossip Girl” & “One Tree Hill” at 8 & 9pm.

PBS is airing “The Life a House Built: The 25th Anniversary of the Jimmy & Rosalynn Carter Work Project” at 9pm tonight. It’s a celebration of all the work put into building homes for those who need it, most recently the Katrina victims on the Gulf coast.

“Christmas at Luther: Night of Glory, Dawn of Peace” follows at 10pm. Luther College’s choirs, symphony orchestra & Christmas Brass & Percussion Ensemble perform traditional holiday carols & choral anthems. Of any holiday show, THIS is the one to truly get you into the spirit of the season.

A&E has a new episode of “Intervention” at 9pm. We meet Nicole who has an eating disorder, complicated by an addiction to prescription drugs.

E! has “True Hollywood Story: Oprah” at 8pm & at 10pm Joel McHale gives us “The Soup Presents…. The Year in Soup”. I’m sure Joel will re-visit many of the same stories as the “TODAY Show” special.

“Forbes Celebrity 100: Who Made Bank” is on afterwards, ar 10:30pm. We get to see who the weathiest stars are & how they piss away their money. Just what we need to see right now!

MTV has the Season #4 Finale of their most popular show, “The Hills” at 10pm tonight. I am not a fan of this show & have never watched it, but I’ve observed all the hype & gossip about it. It’s apparent that tonight’s finale revolves around the fact that Spence took Heidi to Mexico, got her drunk & married her without a license & now her mom’s really pissed. I gather this Spence dude is a real asshole. David Letterman seems to think so & I believe Dave. I guess Heidi & her old friend Lauren finally talk to each other, remembering that they used to like each other. Is this a soap opera or a reality show?

TLC’s got a big night tonight. “Little People Big World” at 8 & 8:30pm are both new. The Roloff’s best friend & co-worker, Mike, dies suddenly from a heart condition. Wow, I was upset when I read that. I really liked Mike. I’m a big fan of this little show & his death made me sad. He was a normal dude, not little, & he was the guy that got clocked by the pumpkin launcher a few years ago, along with one of the Roloff kids, Jacob. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone die on a reality show. We get to see what happens & go to Mike’s funeral.

“17 & Counting” at 10pm is now going to be called “18 & Counting” after tonight. We get to see Mrs. Duggar have another baby, a girl, Jordyn-Grace Makiya. Holy shit! I’d kill myself! Seriously! Wanna take bets on when she’ll get knocked up again?

That’s it for today kids. I need to get some shopping done today, so this is short & to the point. No time to check out the movies for you. Sorry.

love

chooch