TV Patrol: Saturday Date Night

Time for some Saturday TV!! For a map through the wasteland, join our TV Patrolwoman after the jump!

I am here to tell you all, that “The Ex-List” is anti-normal persons. I have watched two episodes of this show and everyone on it, is PERFECT. Every ex-boyfriend Girl-Star dates is perfection, from their glistening, tan biceps down to their firm, tight asses & bulging man-roots. Girl-Star went to the beach with one of these beefcakes & everyone there was PERFECT! Not one single fat-ass or dork on the whole beach. No nerds, no scags, no dinks. No one was over the age of 25. There weren’t even any old people or snotty little kids. As a matter-of-fact, there weren’t any black people either. (have you noticed that the ‘black’ side-kick has been replaced by the ‘arab’ side-kick on most of the newer shows? hmmmmm….) I better see a butterface or something fugly by next week or I’m not watching anymore!

Britney was awesome on “20/20″ last night. I thought her new music video, “Womanizer” was going to be the new theme song for Memphis from BB10, but I was totally wrong. That dude that she kicked around was a real HOTTIE. (he should audition for “The Ex-List”.) BritBrit played three different personalities and took a shower, all at the same time. Personality #1 was her version of Ugly Betty without the ugly. Personality #2 was tattoo, red-headed Lita from the WWE, or at least she looked like her to me & personality #3 was a Heather Locklear-type cop from “TJ Hooker”. She kicked ass on this one. I loved it & the song was good too! If you didn’t see it, you can go to ABC’s web site and see it there.

Saturday night TV really sucks. I’ve manages to scrounge up some drivel for you to watch, but I’m hoping you have a date tonight & aren’t going to watch TV. (If that’s the case, I hope ya get laid.)

CBS has college football all day, starting with Tennessee @ Georgia at 3:30pm. At 8pm, it’s LSU @ Florida.

ABC is airing at 8pm, NASCAR’s “Sprint Cup 500″ from the Lowes Motor Speedway in Concord, NC. (don’t ya just love all the product placement names). In the #1 spot is Jimmie Johnson, the two-time defending champion. The #2 contender is Carl Edwards.

For those of you who don’t like sports, NBC has just the show for you:

“Macy’s Passport Celebrity Catwalk Challenge” at 8pm. Tori Spelling is our Host. This fashion show is part of Macy’s 150th Anniversary. (I’ve never bought a thing from there. Have you?)

These are the participating celebrities:

Jerry Springer (we all know him).

Bob Harper (Biggest Loser)

Jack Coleman (HRG from Heroes)

Nancy O’Dell (Access Hollywood)

Kate Flannery (Meredeth from The Office)

Leyla Milani (Deal or No Deal model)

“Saturday Night Live” has Michael Phelps as their host tonight. He’s the swimmer who won 8 gold medals. (in case you were wondering)

FOX has a new episode of “Cops” at 8pm and “America’s Most Wanted” which is also new at 9pm.

FOX Reality is airing their “Fox Reality Channel Really Awards 2008″ at 10pm. This is where all our favorite reality stars get recognized for their bizarre, psychotic, dillusional, condescending, hypocritical, idiotic & just plain stupid behaviour.

“Gimme My Reality Show” follows at midnight.

That’s what we got for the night. I hope you are out on the town, but you should record the “Really Awards” on Fox Rality Channel. That’s my pick for the night.

Love

chooch