TV Patrol: Saturday Snoozer

Need a little help find something to watch tonight? Check out what our first TV Patrolwoman has to say after the jump.

I took everyone’s advice and watched “Ghost Whisperer” last night. There was one thing I couldn’t figure out. There weren’t any ghosts. WTF? This girl was hittin’ on this dude with tattoos all over his body. He had a six-pack (not beer) and wore eyeliner. She had a mole on her back that grossed everybody out, even him. Her girlfriend had a toupee glued to her muff & couldn’t get it off. Where do the ghosts come in? I quit watching when this girl (who I assume is the ghost whisperer) is trying to rip the faux-muff off her BFF’s hot box ‘cuz it doesn’t look right. I went to watch “The Ex-List” later & it had the same exact dude with the six-pack & eyeliner. It was like deja-vu!!!

HE’S EVERYWHERE!

Let’s see if I can find something for you guys to watch tonight, or record, if you have a hot date or are just going out to get drunk enough to get laid.

CMT has two premieres tonight but they start out with a special:

“20 Greatest Redneck Moments II: Return of the Neck” at 8pm. (Special) I watched the first “Reneck Moments” and was totally entertained. They showed the “Dukes of Hazzards Annual Festival” held by Cooter himself, and there must have been 50 ‘General Lee’s’ all lined up! I always wanted one. You should see me in my ‘daisy dukes’!

“My Big Redneck Wedding” at 9pm (season premiere) A true “red, white & blue” wedding.

“Dallas Cowboy Chearleaders: Making the Team” at 9:30pm (season premiere) I watched this last season and the first few episodes are the best. These girls get really catty and they’re emotionally scarred when they get ‘the hook.’ Better than a beauty pageant!

CBS:

“48 Hours Mystery” at 8pm.

“EliteXC Saturday Night Fights” at 9pm. This is a clone of UFC fights. If you’ve ever watched these fights, you’ll like this show. Ken Shamrock is one of the headliners. I loved him when he was in the WWF. He left there and joined UFC because it’s real, not staged or scripted. Bar fights are the best. They should air those. I saw one once & this guy pulled a knife. My friend told the dude: “You better hope that’s chocolate, cuz you’re about to eat it.” and beat the hell out of him. His friends loaded him in the car and drove away. It was awesome!

NBC has two episodes of “Knight Rider” at 8 & 9pm. This new show usually airs Wednesday nights at 8pm, but they’re repeating the first two episodes because they know no one’s home tonight. Law & Order: SVU is on at 10pm and it’s also a repeat.

ABC has college football. I’m not even gonna tell ya who’s playing because I’m not reporting sports. If I start doing that, you’ll expect me to report scores. Go to ESPN for that shit.

FOX has their normal Saturday night line-up with new episodes. “Cops” airs at 8 & 8:30pm followed by “America’s Most Wanted” at 9pm.

ABCF has “The Notebook” on at 8pm. I just love it when they crawl into bed together and die.

…..and if anyone happened to miss the Season#2 premiere of “Dexter” on Showtime, it’s being re-broadcast tonight at 8pm. His sister’s still an annoying dumbass but she got a haircut. Have ya seen the previews for that movie she’s in (I don’t know who would put her in a movie, she can’t act her way out of a paper bag)… what’s the name of it? ….. shit, I know it too…. hmmmm, oh oh oh…. “Quarintine”. I hope she dies in it.

For those of you who get BBCA, “Graham Norton” is on at 10pm.

Tomorrow’s gonna be an action-packed night of TV. It’s my favorite night. Be ready with your DVR.

Love

chooch