Ugly Betty: Betty is as Hairy as a Y.E.T.I.

Dear Crabby: What’s the difference between Y.E.T.I. and Yeti?

Dear Couch: Lots of waxing and apparently affirmative action!

Every time a bell rings, Betty jumps a little faster!

We open this episode of Ugly Betty with a bell ringing. Santa? Is that you? No, it’s Amanda in the tub ringing for Betty to hand her a loofah. So, Betty has a bathtub in the middle of the living room, but nowhere does she have a full-length mirror? Because it looks like Ronald McDonald and Chanel barfed all over her.

Holy God Almighty, it’s like a wallpaper collage
done during craft time in the local psych ward.

Betty tells Amanda that although she loves her “stepping stone” job (yeah, mine’s a stepping stone to winning the lottery), she does not like being Amanda’s assistant at home. Betty continues to dress like Marcel Marceau on crack as Amanda says, “I think of you as a roommate. And sometimes a maid.” Just like teens think of their moms! Oh, and she adds a kicky beret with a butterfly clip, much better. She asks Betty for a coffee while she’s up. “That’s not my job,” Betty says. Bet it is!

At Mode, Daniel asks for a coffee and Betty says, “That’s my job!” And your stepping stone! Guess who’s back? Nick Pepper! I know, I had to think back to remember who this tool was too…at first I thought it was Ryan from The Office but I don’t think Mode has a work-release program set up like the Scranton branch.

I’m hip and cool and
you soooo wanna be like me.

Nick has become Deputy Culture Editor for The New York Review. Sounds like a job Kimmie would have liked! They must throw those editor titles away all over New York. Betty asks Nick how he got that job since not only was he not at Mode long, he sucked bigtime. Isn’t that how Daniel did it? Turns out he’s a Y.E.T.I. alum, and yes, I thought he was training to be Sasquatch too….he sort of seems like he’d be that hairy, you know?

The first recipient of the Y.E.T.I. scholarship.
He works for Elle magazine now.

Y.E.T.I. stands for Young Editors’ Training Initiative and Betty has no idea about it. Seems like someone like her might have made a 5-year plan and she would know about this, but she does keep busy with Daniel’s screw ups, so maybe not. He tells her she has to get a sponsor, present a whole magazine concept, and win over the judges. Once you do that, you get this brass ring thing which continues to elude me. I bet I could buy one with my lottery winnings!

Betty accosts Daniel with a cup of weightless coffee and tells him he’s going to be her sponsor. All he has to do is write her a letter of recommendation. This cannot go wrong in any way, shape, or form. I mean, Daniel always comes through for her, doesn’t he? Daniel gets on the elevator and weirdly says, “Okay,” and for a split second I thought, maybe he doesn’t really think she’s that good and he’ll have to tell her. That would hurt!

I barf, the end.

Wilhelmina saunters off the elevator and sees Connor and Molly kissing and says what most kids do when they see mom and dad making out, “Gross!” Heh. She rallies then calls Molly’s ponytailed look “coltish.” Yes, women loved being compared to horses. But Molly has to take off because she has a “Thanksgiving thing” at school…”I have a Native American from the Poospatuck tribe coming to speak.” Yeah, that should really resonate with pre-schoolers looking to make pilgrim hats with construction paper and edible paste.

Wilhelmina suggests they go to brunch together to which I spit out my margarita. Seriously? In her office, Willie spats, “I’d rather gouge my eyes out.” Phew. For a second I thought she’d gone nice. And she forgot the rest of the sentence, “with fondue forks.” I find that much more dramatic.

“I would shoot you in the heart before I’d let you brunch with her,” Marc says. She tosses him a Milkbone. Willie can’t understand why a mousey school teacher would attract a hot, ambitious guy like Connor. “He’s a Male-helmina!” Marc exclaims. Willie says she’s going see if Connor will join her in Palm Beach for a meeting with some designer, saying if he gets to know the real Wilhelmina he’d see that they’d make a great couple. I’d have to agree with that – good looking and formidable.

Marc says if she can’t get him that way, she can (think porn music) “Waa-waa,” he says, pretending to show his boobs. He says, “You still have it.” Willie smiles and says it’s good to have a Plan B and Marc says, “Or a Plan 34C.” My plan is more on the lowercase end of the spectrum.

Running through the streets of New York, Betty finds the Y.E.T.I. building. Seriously, how did she not know about this program/building/opportunity? Talk about living in a cocoon, it’s like she’s Wilford Brimley. The place is huge, probably because there are just that many people wanting to be editors. Honestly, don’t they just go to that other school…hmmm…what’s that little place called? Oh yeah, Columbia School of Journalism?

I’m a smart and a well-employed career woman and
you know what that means: Single and staying that way!

At the Y.E.T.I. offices, a woman who looks like Hilda with a brain says they don’t just see assistants, they see the future of the publishing industry. The woman hands her an application and says Betty has to come up with a cover, table of contents, letter from the editor, and “an original magazine concept that best describes you.” Yeah…I’m not sure Heinous Mess & Doormat is really going to be a big seller.

“Oh, this application is for next year,” Betty says. “I need one for this year.” Brainiac Hilda tells her the deadline is too tight for this year. But Betty doesn’t want to wait a whole year, she wants to do it this year! It’s so important she didn’t even know it existed when she woke up this morning. Brainiac hands her this year’s packet and tells her she’s adorable. Clearly not worried about details, Betty is almost out the door before asking when the deadline is. Uh. Two days. I love time in Ugly Betty world! “Good luck!” Brainiac says.

At home, Betty’s family is over for dinner and Betty is trying to get some ideas for her magazine. Hmm…Unemployment Yearly? Fun Gay Nephew Weekly? Almost Deported Papi? Hilda complains, “I can’t believe they expect you to come up with this in two days!” Uh, they don’t, that’s why they gave her next year’s application. Betty certainly omits a lot of details when she describes what’s going on in her life, doesn’t she? Just like the rest of us!

Oh, but wait – Betty’s going way out on a limb here and creating a fashion magazine! You have got to be kidding me! First of all, hardly creative since you work at one. Second, you dress hideously and the only thing Y.E.T.I. about you is those bushy eyebrows. Third, does the world really need another fashion magazine? Fourth, is that really what you would do if you had the chance to develop any magazine you wanted? I thought you were interested in something more along the lines of the The New Yorker. Fifth…lather, rinse, repeat.

Seriously? A fashion magazine?
Have you seen a mirror lately?

Papi reminds her that the magazine is supposed to express who you are. Betty says, “I have a million ideas of what I want to do, but they’re all too big.” Yes, better to just settle on something you’ve copied from work. Very creative, I’m sure the judges will be so impressed. “I’m being practical. I have the resources at Mode to get this done. It just has to get me in.” Trump would soooo fire her.

Actually, these are the droids you’re looking for!

Wilhelmina, wearing some kind of tribal/Star Wars type dress asks Connor if he knows Doral Resort Wear. Why yes, yes he does! How exciting for both of them! Well, “they are interested in exclusive back cover ads through 2012,” Willie tells him. “That’s huge!” Connor says, and something tells me he would know! She asks Conner if he can make the meeting tomorrow, the only time they can meet. Yes, because resort wear designers are oh-so-busy. It’s resort wear not workaholic wear!

Connor agrees but says he’s speaking at Molly’s class in the morning, could they make it in the evening. Yes, because once again pre-schoolers are all about Finance. What the hell is Molly running, Mensa Pre-School? Willie tells him the corporate offices are in Key Largo, so they’re going on “a little trip.” Down ba-da-boom lane! Thank you, try the veal, I’ll be here all night.

In the Mode closet, Christina is trying to help Betty decide on clothes for a cover shot, because once again, it’s all Betty’s concept. Seriously, plagiarize much? Christina is trying to get Betty to decide between what can only be called a Cookie-monster fur vest and the vest that Ferris Bueller wore when he ordered pancreas. Someone push her down a flight of stairs and get it right this time!

Hideous or more hideous? This is why I get
Cooking Light instead of fashion magazines.

Betty is freaking out because she can’t “wrap her head around the editor’s letter” she has to write. Maybe it’s because you keep wearing fugly hats, Betty. Christina says, “How hard can it be, Daniel does it,” which if memory serves me correctly, is not true. Doesn’t he have someone write those for him? Unfortunately, Daniel overhears (luckily just his name) and Betty diverts his attention with something shiny, like one of her unfortunate accessories.

Seeing the mess around Betty (she is becoming more like PigPen), he says, “What’s all this?” She tells him it’s for her Y.E.T.I. project and Daniel’s all like, “So, you’re doing a fashion magazine?” We hear ya brother! “Carry on,” he says, after giving Christina the WTF look and getting one back. Betty asks Christina if she’s on the right track and I cannot concentrate on what Christina says back because she is wearing some kind of lizard-printed mu-mu that makes my eyes water. The positive side? Anna Wintour is sleeping soundly at night, even if she is upside down.

Back at school, Justin is coming out (ha!) of the auditorium where he and his new best friend heterosexual Randy are watching the students perform Little Shop of Horrors. He and Justin are all buddy-buddy until some jocks come up and start trashing on the show. Aw, dang. They tell him to ditch the rest of the show and come hang with them, but Justin says, “They haven’t done ‘Suddenly Seymour’ yet.” Smooth.

“Wait,” Jock Itch #1 says, “You guys are watching the show together?” Uh, yes, just like you three jocks are, doyeee. He rolls his eyes and says, “Have fun.” Douche. Randy is embarrassed but does return to the show.

Back at Mode, Christina has come up with the “winning look,” and I’m pretty sure Betty is going to be blacklisted from Y.E.T.I. It’s a leopard print dress with a polka dot belt and a white beret. Although that does scream “Betty” from here, it’s hideous. Why does everyone secretly hate Betty? And where is the Cookie-monster vest? Betty realizes it took a long time to choose something and says, “I guess this doesn’t come naturally to anybody.” Don’t be so sure.

Marc comes sashaying in telling Amanda all of the outfits he needs including accessories because yes, Virginia, it is that easy for some to put things together. He tells Christina he’s signing all of that stuff out for his Y.E.T.I. presentation. “WHAT?!?!” Betty says, freaking out. She’s all excited that they are applying to Y.E.T.I. together because clearly she’s from Kansas and doesn’t understand competition. Marc smiles.

“Really? You’re my competition? What’s your magazine? What’s your vision?” he asks, waiting to hear this little gem.

“Betty’s doing a fashion magazine,” Christina blurts out. Marc and Amanda laugh.

“Really?” Marc asks. “Brilliant! I’m as good as in!” Amanda asks Betty if she knows fashion means clothing. Christina says that Betty’s magazine is going to kick Marc’s magazine’s ass. “Really? What’s it called? Clashing Patterns Digest?” Marc, you truly, truly are my fav.

Seriously? A fashion magazine? Have you seen a mirror lately?

Betty, trying to be all positive (blech!) says that maybe they’ll both get in. Yes, and everyone gets a certificate for attendance, too! Marc tells her that Y.E.T.I. doesn’t take more than one person from a magazine. And when it’s him against her in fashion, well, we can all be the judge of who will win. If you don’t know, it’s him. Looks like it will be next year for you, Clashing Pattern Betty!

At Chez Suarez, Justin is telling his mother how much he liked the play, but that Randy had to run home right afterwards so he’s not sure if he really liked it or not. Methinks Randy has to figure out which side of the bread his butter is on. It’s okay to like musicals and be straight, Randy, it’s just often you turn out to be Hugh Jackman. Hilda asks if Randy would be interested in seeing a Broadway show because she just picked up two tickets for In the Heights with her unemployment check. This is not going to end well for Justin or the 2008 Tony Award-winning musical.

Betty comes storming in saying she needs some kind of food and two spoons…she needs two spoons going at one time to drown her sorrows. Maybe she asked for heroin, not food. She quit Y.E.T.I. because “I can’t do a fashion magazine.” We hear a “Told ya so!” from Justin in the background and Hilda yells, “Not helping.” That was pretty good comedic timing, actually. “It wasn’t me,” Betty laments.

Papi does his own “I told ya so,” and points out that was the problem, Betty wasn’t being true to herself. He pulls out The Betty Review, a magazine she put together for her mother when her mom was in the hospital the first time. It tells all about what she and Hilda were doing while their mom was away. “You were able to make this whole magazine in one afternoon because it mattered to you.” Well, that, and because glue and glitter were plentiful and enjoyed by her mom.

Isn’t this exactly what you thought
her magazine would be?

“So why don’t you just give them this?” Hilda asks. Because glitter doesn’t work well with subscription magazines, dumbass. Papi thinks she’s crazy but Betty has an epiphany and heads back to the Mode office to steal some supplies. We are treated to a montage of Betty cutting and pasting and gluing and almost sleeping and badly needing some conditioner.

Bat-shit crazy, at your service!

The next morning the elevator doors open and she greets Daniel in a caffeinated-Charles Manson craze. She wants Daniel to take a look at it so she can do a dry-run of it before her actual presentation. He still hasn’t finished his letter of recommendation and suggests that she write it and he can sign it. Wow, that’s really nice of you Daniel. Way to get involved in Betty’s future. Connor interrupts to ask Daniel a favor.

“I’m in a world of trouble with Molly,” he says. He promised her he’d talk to her class about the magazine business and now he can’t because he has to go to Key Largo to flirt with Wilhelmina. And also, the kids don’t really give a crap about a fashion magazine since they Garanimals most of their ensembles and their accessories are dirt and boogers. So…could Daniel step in for him? Yes he can, in more ways than one!

Betty comes into Daniel’s office like a flying monkey freaking out about the dry-run. Is he leaving the office? When can they go through it? When will he write her rec? He won’t be gone long, he says, maybe an hour tops. Daniel pulls a pencil out of her hair and hands it to her while she turns around and shows she has most of the supply closet tangled in her hair. Don’t let Claire see!

Daniel is at the school playing Red Rover, because I guess they are done talking about the intricacies of regional distribution of fashion magazines. The kids pile on him (gross!) and he is just having a great time. Molly tells everyone it’s time for potty break and juice, which seems like the wrong order but whatever. Maybe the Native American is up next?

And next we’re going to discuss the square root of Pi!

Molly says he’s good with kids and he says it’s something he’s been thinking of. She gives the rolled eyes of bullshit and he says, “Aw, what?” She says he’s not the Daniel Meade she reads about in the paper. Well, he was last season. They do the googley-eyes thing and I see the clock reads almost noon. Way to be back in an hour, loser.

Back at Mode Betty collects her things sans Daniel’s rec I’m guessing and takes off. She really has come down off the caffeine high hard; I bet her presentation really has that spunk we’re all hoping for. Oh, and she’s wearing a poncho. That really worked the last time!

No, not intimidating at all, thanks.

She enters this long room where three judges are seated wayyyy at the end, then begins her Flashdance routine. No, wait, that was Jennifer Beals. Although how awesome would it have been if she had totally started dancing? Less awkward than what’s coming, I bet.

What a feelin’!

She begins that she’s been the assistant editor to a total douchey tool for two years and constantly saves his ass. Well, she doesn’t say that, but I’m guessing it’s implied no matter where you are an assistant. She says Mode sells an image of what women want to become. Her vision is a magazine that celebrates what women already are: O, The Oprah Magazine! No, wait, it’s More. No, wait, it’s AARP Monthly.

It’s for the young woman who wants something to aspire to…it’s called B Magazine. Oh crap, is that like B. Smith with Style, because she will cut you, Betty! “It’s a lifestyle magazine for young women. This magazine says it’s okay to get involved. To use your mind. Be thoughtful. Be confident. Be yourself. B Magazine.“

B ugly with that damn pretzel necklace.

“Nice, Ms. Suarez,” says one of the judges. “Let’s hear your letter from the editor.” Brainiac Hilda is in the back and gives her a thumbs-up.

Betty runs out of the room and says she “nailed it” as Hilda and Papi squeal with delight. You know, as much as I trash on them for not being employed, at least they are always there for her. Suddenly the music turns all hip and cool and the slow-mo camera starts going….it’s Marc…and his entourage….oh my God, sign me up for your magazine that is too cool for me!

Wait! Crabby’s a wanna be! Sign me up for a subscription!
Oh, I was denied! Dang!

Marc asks four assistants to help him set up his PowerPoint in the other room. Marc’s vision? “A-List Magazine for all things fashion, fabulous, and famous,” Amanda explains. Papi says it’s all fluff and Hilda rolls her eyes at another celebrity magazine. This thing is going to sell like hotcakes!

“Well, instead of just exploiting the celebrity culture, I’m commenting on it. Ruminating on America’s obsession with fame. Why can’t we get enough?” Okay…interesting, but is that more of an essay in Newsweek or a full magazine? Hilda whispers to Betty that it sounds kind of smart. “David Sedaris wrote a great feature article for us.” OH MY GOD HE’S MY FAVORITE! Especially the story about how he worked as an elf at Macy’s during Christmas (as opposed to Bastille Day). Hilarious! I love this magazine!

And speaking of which…Marc put together an entire magazine. Talk about cutting and pasting skills, WOW. And look who’s sponsoring Marc…Badgley and Mischka! And they know the judges! Oh crap! Hey, no offense, but Marc did put together a great idea and he has kick-ass visuals both in PowerPoint and human form. Sucks to be you, Betty, but maybe you can get an internship with Suzuki St. Pierre!

Back to the Future at Mode, we see an ooooold Betty putting in her teeth, complete with braces. Oooold Daniel comes out and asks her if she’s applying to Y.E.T.I. again. She says she doesn’t know because she’s been applying for 49 years. “Maybe if you gave me that recommendation…” Daniel tells her not to be such a nag and oh, can he get a cup of coffee? She grabs her walker and shuffles to the coffee machine…”You’re going to be my assistant ’til your dying day!” Oy!

Wow, she should have gone with Invisalign…
would have worked faster.

Betty suddenly wakes up and we see Daniel flying into his office. “Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time, I’m ready to help you with your Y.E.T.I. thing.” Jerk! She types something and he checks his phone. It reads, “You missed it,” from Betty. “Why are you texting me?” he asks. Did you not read the text? She texts back that she can’t talk to him right now and that it’s too late for him to do anything. He apologizes to her and she says his recommendation and a dry run wouldn’t have helped because she’s not getting into Y.E.T.I. She just looks like one.

Her phone rings. It’s Y.E.T.I. She’s in! Didn’t see that coming. She screams, “I got into Y.E.T.I.” and Marc overhears. Crap.

Whaaaat…..the…..F#&$!!!!

Down in Key Largo (did you forget? I sort of did what with all the Y.E.T.I. talk), Wilhelmina is totally excited that Connor was able to get rate card pricing on the back cover advertising while making the client think it was his idea. Wow, no one ever pays rate card, what a moron!

Also, awkward, they are in her room. That is creepy on a business trip. Meeting with coworkers is what the lobby and bar are for. You only meet in someone’s room when you want to be talked about the next day. Connor says she was amazing. “We do make for a well-oiled machine,” she says. I think she meant well-lubed. He suggests a celebratory dinner but she recommends room service…and a bottle of wine. Willie and her wiles!

Let’s giggle politely and not think about anything else,
like THE BED, THE BED, THE BED between us.

Back at Justin’s school, he excitedly tells Randy of the Broadway tickets he has. You can tell Randy wants those tickets but his friends are watching and he’d rather be cool. He tells Justin he doesn’t want to hang out with him anymore. “Dude! Stop following me around, it’s pathetic! Get a life!” he says, walking over to his football friends.

Nice hair. Did you get caught in last week’s tornado?

At Mode Betty is attempting to talk to Marc who is handling the situation like a pro, by wearing a sleeping mask. “Marc?” she says. “Marc isn’t in right now but if you leave your name and number he will never speak to you again, you odious sea cow, Betty. Beep.”

Someone’s handling this maturely.

Betty tells him his presentation was amazing (how did she get to see it?) but maybe they just saw how much she wanted it. Oh no she didn’t. He says, yeah, right, because he didn’t want it. “I don’t want to be an editor. I didn’t go to F.I.T. or spend a summer abroad studying menswear in Milan or spend the last four years of my life slaving for the best Creative Director in the industry who doesn’t even know or wouldn’t even care if I applied to Y.E.T.I.” Geez Louise, why is he working there? He should get a job with his new best friends Badgley and/or Mischka!

“Maybe they just liked my concept better…who knows why they picked me,” Betty says. Marc starts laughing like he knows why they picked her. Betty’s all like, WTF?

“Do you really think what you spent 2 days on is better than what I spent the last three months working on?” he spats. She just looks at him. “You’re really going to make me say it?” Marc asks. Betty still doesn’t get it. “You help them meet their quota,” Marc says. “They picked you, Betty Suarez, of Queens, because you are Latina.” Dude, isn’t she Hispanic? I get so confused. “You’re the token ethnic girl.”

Betty starts to sputter, she can’t even get anything out. “Wow,” she finally says. “Marc, you have said a lot of really ugly things to me in the past, but that is by far and away the ugliest.”

“It may be ugly, but it’s the truth,” Marc says. She storms away from him. Marc? Not so much my favorite right now.

Hilda and Papi show up at Mode to surprise Betty and generally humiliate her in front of everyone by singing and offering up Mexican food. She pulls them into Daniel’s office and tells them what Marc said. They are pissed. Well, turns out Betty called them and they didn’t deny it. Oh my God, they are the stupidest organization ever! Why would they admit that?

Hilda says who cares why she got in, she got in! She says Betty needs to take every advantage she gets which, yes and no. Hilda tells an inappropriate story about how her girls help her get to the front of the meat line at the butcher shop. Yes, this is exactly like that, Hilda. Papi starts up with the story about how when he and Betty’s mother came to the U.S., they wanted to start a better life. Actually, they were just trying to avoid a murder charge in Mexico.

He says that when he first came here, he was discriminated against because he was Mexican. So now, if being Mexican helped, take it. Except Betty was born here, so she’s American, but since her mother was still married to that man you thought you killed, your marriage wasn’t legal and she’s really a bastard. Let’s see if she can get into Y.E.T.I. on that one!

Betty wants to be accepted because she earned it. Does she really think she did what with Marc’s entire magazine put together and her 12-hour cut-and-paste session?

Nice dinner, ha, ha,
THE BED, THE BED, THE BED!

Down in Key Largo, Willie and Connor are having dinner in her room, with low-lighting, wine, and her girlish giggle. They do make a nice couple, but she’s so devious and until he shows me his bad side (not bad-boy side, meow, his bad side), I’m guessing this isn’t going to work. He asks her, “No man in your life?” Is he completely oblivious to the almost-marriage, posthumous surrogate baby? Live under Ayers Rock, much? He figures she’s just too formidable to keep up with.

Willie asks about Molly. “She’s a peach,” she says, “but a school teacher doesn’t seem like a natural fit for a powerful business mind such as yours.”

“I guess at first it was the differences that made it challenging and exciting. An aphrodisiac, opposites being drawn together,” he says, although wistfully…hmmm. “And now, we’re engaged.” Willie pours them more wine.

Justin comes home, slamming the door. Hilda’s all up in his business and he tells her Randy doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore. He doesn’t know why, he doesn’t want to go to the show, and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Oh, teen years, how I absolutely positively do not miss you.

That evening at Mode Daniel opens an envelope to find a bunch of thank-yous from the pre-school messengered over. They call him old. Daniel calls Molly, you know, just to check in and to thank her for the thank yous. Molly is working late because you know, that’s what pre-school teachers do. Seriously? I’m not sure if my grad school profs got in 40 a week, let alone overtime.

Oh, I’ll be pulling an all-nighter grading these finger paintings!

Oh, sure, now Connor and Willie have moved to the bed, score! Connor is highly buzzed but Willie is holding her own. Why? Because she’s been tossing her wine back into the wine bucket when he’s not looking. Because if there is one thing that makes a woman really desirable, it’s beer goggles. Oh, Willie, I’m surprised at you, having to get a guy drunk.

Connor says, “You know Wil, I disagree with everyone at the office. I think you’re great.” Hahaha! Poor Wilhelmina, hated by all who know her. I got one of those once when a friend’s mother said, “Oh, you look so pretty, I didn’t recognize you.” D’oh! Trust me, there’s no backpedaling from that one!

THE BED, THE BED, THE BED. Finally!
Justice for the pink elephant in the room!

Connor starts spinning the empty wine bottle (really?) and Willie starts telling him a boarding school story, then leans in to kiss him and he says, “You are very hard to resist.” She tells him not to resist and he says, “Stop. I’m engaged. You need to stop what you are doing.” Okay, super-rude, dude. You are totally leading her on then bust in with your engagement? What a tease! Think Molly would find it appropriate that you are lying around with Willie getting drunk?

The next day, Betty, dressed sort of like a Christmas tree, walks up to Marc and hands him the Y.E.T.I. form “Here. You’re in,” she says. She tells him he was right, his presentation was better, so she dropped out and he’s in. He tells her that he’s been discriminated against all his life; if he got an advantage like she did, he’d take it and run. You mean like now?

Once again, a Latina is being held down
by the man. The gay man.

Betty says he deserved it more and she can re-apply next year. “Take it before I change my mind,” she says as he grabs the envelope from her hands. He apologizes for what he said yesterday and hopes she doesn’t think he’s a racist. “Some of the hottest guys I’ve dated have been Latino,” he says, excluding Cliff who was just Chubbo. Still, Marc was a jerk for what he said.

Back at Casa Suarez, Hilda tries to get Justin to tell her what happened. Uh, my friend dissed me in front of his homophobe friends. What can you do? “I don’t fit in with his friends,” Justin says. Hilda tells him he’s perfect, but he’s going to meet a lot of stupid people in life. He can’t change who he is because he’s perfect. Aww. He decides to go to the theater with her instead of wasting the tickets. If Hilda was smart, she would have sold them on eBay already. By the way, is he eating Fruity Pebbles? Subtle.

Wilhelmina is back and is no mood. Marc is trying to figure out if she was Ms. Nasty with Connor but no, he’s devoted to Molly. Blech. She says she’s not going to beg. Marc says he’s sorry and she snaps his head off. He starts to leave and she says, “I heard you got into the Y.E.T.I. program. I trust that won’t interfere with your job here.” He says no. “I can’t think of anyone more deserving. Congratulations.” She smiles. Marc smiles. All is almost well.

Look, I know I beat you, but I bought you something pretty,
so it’s all good now!

Daniel calls Betty into his office and she’s still sort of not speaking to him. He says he knows how important Y.E.T.I. was for her and he dropped the ball. He’s heard that she dropped out to let Marc in, since they won’t take two people from the same magazine. Well, turns out Daniel made a couple of calls to let them know she worked at Player this year as well. “Just don’t drop out this time,” Daniel says, holding up a Y.E.T.I. envelope. He also wrote a 6-page recommendation too. “I’m sorry it took me so long to write your recommendation.”

You know, their relationship is really pretty abusive. Daniel treats her like crap, then does something nice afterward, and she takes him back. I mean, I know this is a telenovela and it’s supposed to be all happy and fun with the good people winning (usually), but geez is this a bad relationship.

The bruises will heal and they are
just a stepping stone to a better life!

He says he knows she’s going places, he just doesn’t want her going too soon. However, he figures in 20 years he’ll be her assistant. Or if karma has anything to do with it, you’ll be her bitch. Betty is all excited and runs out with her envelope. The phone rings and it’s Marc. “Daniel told me we both got in. Pretty cool, right?” They start talking about the speakers (Anna Wintour and Tina Brown in the same week! Catfight!) and they are totally excited.

Now that we’re both in at Y.E.T.I.
I don’t blame you for being Latino!

“We are going to be huge!” Betty says, not noticing the irony as it pertains to her.

“Betty!” Daniel yells. “Phone!” because I’m sure she has no clue.

“Marc!” Willie yells. “My moisturizer!”

They smile and keep doing the assistant work.

The show is off for Thanksgiving so I’ll be back in a couple of weeks. Hope you had a wonderful holiday with your family and enjoyed the food and TV coma that followed your feast. See you soon!