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Tuesday, March 29, 2005
3:20 pm
46 Comments
Posted in:
Recaps
1990′s Court TV superstar Johnny Cochran is dead. Drudge Report is the first to report, no further news at this time.
Johnny will be long remembered as co-star of the TV show THE OJ SIMPSON TRIAL, which aired for over a year on all major networks, Court TV, Fox News and CNN.
Initial cause of death appears to be karma.
DEVELOPING…In other News….OJ SIMPSON let out a big sigh of relief today.
UPDATE – Family Statement
The Cochran familiy released a statement revealing …”the family of Attorney Johnnie L. Cochran, Jr. and members of The Cochran Firm are deeply saddened by the passing of Johnnie L. Cochran, Jr.” This was a shocking 180 from the not terribly expected “Finally!”
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46 Comments
“why? I’ll tell you why… I don’t know”
“Initial cause of death appears to be karma.”
Is it wrong that I laughed? I am so going to hell.
“You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn’t tell you to put the balm on. Why’d you put the balm on? You haven’t even been to see the doctor. If you’re gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.”
“Initial cause of death appears to be karma.”–classic, I nearly peed myself. Nice work, myl, nice work.
“If he’s dead and gone, you must move on”
“Initial cause of death appears to be karma.”
Well put. I wonder if OJ is still looking for his wife’s “real” killer.
awesome headline!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, Chef’s attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote “Stinky Britches” ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself!
But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen this [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee”an eight foot tall Wookiee”want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!
But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!
Look at me, I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense!
And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
Oh you guys are so tacky.
Guys that is in really shitty taste. Cochran did amazing work as a lawyer regarding police brutality and frankly did what all litigators strive to do, get their clients off. He zealously did his job, and since some of the postings on this websites look more like book reports than humour articles lately, try taking some lessons.
YOU MEAN HIS MOTHER ACTUALLY NAMED HIM ‘JOHNNIE’?
Wow, loved the post, very witty
Take a big step back!! You are waaaaaaaaaaaay past the line.
Squelch,
Please explain…
MYL
Karma….freakin’ classic! Almost fell outta my chair!!
Do you think OJ will be a pall bearer???
Yeah, so not funny. Johnnie had people shook because he was so brilliant at what he did. He was so much more than the OJ case, Puffy case, etc. Please learn about the man behind the headlines before being haters. Also, just not funny simply because a person died! Of a brain tumor no less! It’s one thing to joke about a divorce or a cancelled show or if a person’s body part pops out at the wrong time. But this is just so low level. Now, you should know from my posts that I am not usually uptight or offended about much; I am a big fan of all the TVgasm contributors, but I’m not liking this post at all!
To the hater haters,
What exactly about this post speaks ill of the dead or puts down this guy? Only person I made fun of is OJ and lets face it…that’s a gimme. I;m not sure I have any clue what exactly offended you people.
was it the worm thing? thats an omage. was it the karma thing? thats just common sense.
I mean, its not like Im talking about how the Pope was Shaivo’d today…that would potentially be offensive, but this post, unlike a deadly brain tumor, is benign.
MYL
MYL,
In explanation of “Take a big step back!! You are waaaaaaaaaaaay past the line”:
————————————————-
There is a line that exists between caustic/mordant humor and insolence.
Speaking of karma……
Squelch
Squelch,
Yeah, thats not helpful…what Im looking for is what about the post was offensive? What you meant by Im over the line. I get THAT you feel that way, Im just not sure WHY you feel that way.
MYL
Probably the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. And let’s not try to glorify a man who had a wall in his house with million dollar checks framed all over the place to show off an excess of greed, rather than put that money to a good cause.
Probably the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. And let’s not try to glorify a man who had a wall in his house with million dollar checks framed all over the place to show off an excess of greed, rather than put that money to a good cause.
Wendy… If you’re going to hell because you laughed, then you’ll be in the company of many… including good ol’ Johnny Cochran himself
~ Of course, that’s only if Satan hasn’t grown tired of Johnny’s antics by then.
******************
“Initial cause of death appears to be karma.”
Is it wrong that I laughed? I am so going to hell.
Posted by: wendy at March 29, 2005 04:39 PM.
******************
To Madeyoulaugh: Yes, you made me laugh. Loudly in fact. I came across this on a Google search and am I ever glad I did!
Since Johnny was such an advocate of rhyming, and since I’m a fan of Alice Cooper, I give Johnny my farewell “take this one to the grave witchya” statement: One thing, no lie, Johnny’s frigid as an Eskimo pie!
MYL,
Oh honey…I never said you offended me. You’re just coming off like a shit, and I thought you should know.
Squelch
I was friends with Ron Goldman. OJ Simpson murdered him. Johnnie Cochran got him off.
I am not a Cochran hater and I take no pleasure from the news of his death I was just not terribly impressed with some of the things he did in his life.
I do think he did a lot of harm and at least in the Simpson trial he did treat the courtroom as his own personal tv show – with him as the star. Made you laugh’s post actually made me chuckle. Thanks for that.
youthinasia:
obviously you are completely uneducated about the fact that Cochran spent a good deal of his time fighting against police brutality. Get a clue before you make a post.
curlypacks:
obviously you are very good about taking other peoples’ points and using them as your own, as illustrated by Leah3t’s coment “Cochran did amazing work as a lawyer regarding police brutality”. But a good deed doesn’t offset the fact he boasted his fortune like a prick.
Oh sweet Jesus.
Leah and squelch, just leave. If you’re aso enamored with him, maybe you could establish a Johnny C Charity Golf Outing. Say hi to OJ for me.
Madeyoulaugh… the only thing bad about your post was the fact that I wish I had thought of that.
OH MY GOD!!!!
Is it REALLY true?? Did he REALLY boast about his income??
Did he REALLY ham it up in the courtroom???
Such a travesty!! How are we all continuing on in a world such as this?
How jejune!
I just want to say, in defense of squelch, he never said he was a hater/lover of anyone – Johnnie Cochran or MYL. I think he’s saying it’s all in very poor taste.
He kind of comes off as superior to all of us, but that is really beside the point.
I think people should not put words in other people’s mouths. Let’s be intelligent in our postings.
I’m just sayin’
Soriner- I’ve been posting and enjoing this web page since the day it started. I like a good joke and have priased this page aboout 95% of the time in my posts. If i think a joke is in shitty taste, I have a right to say so.
Squelch’s post “Oh honey…I never said you offended me. You’re just coming off like a shit, and I thought you should know.”
Zing!! Right on point!!
youthinasia:
read a newspaper.
one other than national enquirer or the daily news.
Cochrans work (beside OJ) is not exactly classified information.
I think it’s funny that people think it’s offensive for a lawyer to win a case for his client (believe me, defense lawyers are getting people set free for crimes they do and prosecutors are getting people sent to jail for things they didn’t do all the time) and then bragging about the money he made (lots of lawyers do that do), but it’s not humanly possible to understand why someone might think joking about a person dying of a brain tumor and getting eaten by worms isn’t……
Everybody has a right to say what they feel, that includes criticism of the post.
People may say this post is in poor taste and we neglect much of Cochran’s legacy other than what happened in the OJ trial, but that is the nature of being a defense attorney. If you are doing your job, you are a strong advocate for your client, no matter what you think as to their guilt or innocence, no matter how much of a monster they may or may not be. Cochcran could have saved 1000 falsely-convicted people off a death row, but he is going to be known for OJ. Is it unfair? Definitely.
Do any of us think Mark Geragos is going to be seen as a saint when he is gone? Certainly not on these pages.
However, in the interest of fairness, I will come up with an equally tasteless obit for Erin Brokovitch. God I hate her (and Julia Roberts, while we’re at it).
Kudos to Leah3t AND Squelch. They BOTH have hit the nail on the head!!!
what do you call one brain tumored dead lawyer? a good start.
see, I can joke about it. I just choose not to. you are all shits.
Aaaaaaaand SCENE.
Whoever posted under my name – you are the epitome of cowardice. If you have something to say, use your own name.
It leads me to wonder “What size is YOUR !ick??”
Squelch
How lame can people get?? Step up if you have an opinion – don’t hide. Geez………
I agree with B-side, let’s get back to making fun of Mischa!
I’m always sad to hear that someone died. But Cochran was kind of a prick. And as for that “amazing work as a lawyer regarding police brutality” um, yeah, amazing that he sued various cities and took millions in tax dollars as payment because police are easy targets. And his legacy will always be getting a double murderer off. I don’t know if everyone is aware, but private practice lawyers are not public defenders, they don’t have to take every case that comes their way. He lived on racism and tax dollars. Good guy. In honor of Cochran, I’d like to have a memorial party at Sharky’s this Saturday. See you there!
If the tumor’s in your head; you gonna be dead!
If the tumor’s in your head; you gonna be dead!
Leah3 —- Shut up!!!!
I am very dismayed by some of these comments. An amazing attorney who has fought for victims of police brutality and injustice is being regarded so negatively. In the OJ trial he did his job and he did it well. You should be upset with Marcia not Johnnie. I only wonder if he was a white man would you think of him for only one case and consider his death “Karma”. Be very careful how you judge others because we all fall short and no one is exempt from health problems. If something happens to you or your loved ones someone may be as insentive as you are and think, well it was only “karma”.
I am very dismayed by some of these comments. An amazing attorney who has fought for victims of police brutality and injustice is being regarded so negatively. In the OJ trial he did his job and he did it well. You should be upset with Marcia not Johnnie. I only wonder if he was a white man would you think of him for only one case and consider his death “Karma”. Be very careful how you judge others because we all fall short and no one is exempt from health problems. If something happens to you or your loved ones someone may be as insentive as you are and think, well it was only “karma”.
Missy,
He could have been black or a white jew who goes by Madeyoulaugh, either way, the karma joke, still a joke, still appropriate, and still funny.
MYL