V: And the V’s Have It

Welcome to my autopsy of the V series finale!

Two statements I’d like to start with:

Statement Number One: Yes, I know, technically this isn’t the series finale, it’s the season finale, as the show hasn’t officially been cancelled. But signs point to V getting the axe, and I’m going to treat it as such.

Besides, come on. Do you really think they’re gonna try this again?

Statement Number Two: think of all the series finales you’ve ever seen. Have you felt satisfied? No! Seinfeld, The Sopranos, Newhart, and plenty more examples I can’t think of right now, did any of them end on a note that DIDN’T leave you feeling unsatisfied, cheated, or betrayed?

Again: no!

With that in mind, I will venture to say that the V series finale is the most satisfying in TV history

Let me explain…

PREVIOUSLY ON VEE
Here are the salient plot points to remember. Like last week, it’s an overload:

-Diana has reached out to Marcus to help her overthrow Anna
-Anna’s final egg is almost ready to hatch…i.e., Anna has a backup copy of Lisa in case things go wrong
-Bolling was a character on the show
-Space Invaders!!!!!:

-Anna plans to use her Bliss to control the humans, except doing this will probably kill her
-We still have to deal with Morris Chestnut

-And Diana has also reached out to the Fifth Column to help her overthrow Anna

Unlike last week, it looks like all of these reminders actually show up in the episode.

COLD OPEN
ERICA’S BEDROOM
We open our final episode of the season in Erica’s bedroom, in what is clearly a dream sequence, as they quickly pan over to Anna sitting on Erica’s bed. Only, it’s not played like a dream sequence, it’s played as if it were really happening. They’re doing the ol’ Dream Sequence Fakeout. As in, heylookatthiscrazythinghappening, PSYCH, it was all a dream!

Is anyone who’s watched any TV or movie in the last 50 years still fooled by this?

So the Alien Queen has come Freddy Krueger Erica. And what does the evil space lizard menace her with? Perhaps some sort of laser weapon? Or a kill tentacle? Or a sinister alien technology we haven’t even thought of?

No. A gun.

That is the best Erica’s subconscious could come up with

I know, I know, it’s the theme of the show popping up again…moments later Erica asks why Anna has paid her a visit, and Anna responds that, as someone who bears the weight of an entire species on her shoulders, she knows Erica is the only person who can sympathize with her. Because, you see, they’re really the same. So it makes sense for Anna to be carrying a gun like Erica’s, all boundary-blurring and shit.

I’ll digress from the recap a sec. Do you guys buy that theme from the show, that Erica and Anna are mirror images of each other? I personally don’t. Yeah, I get it that both of them are doing what they think is necessary to protect their species and even their own children–Erica is trying to stop the aliens from killing everyone, while Anna is taking humanity’s DNA to save the V species—but it just seems that Erica’s choices are a lot more clear-cut than Anna’s are. I don’t see any ambiguity in what Erica’s doing; the V’s are clearly here on Earth to annihilate humanity, and Erica knows it, so she’s doing her best to stop it. She’d be an asshole not to.

That isn’t exactly the case with Anna. She’s an aggressor. Yeah, it MIGHT be true that the only course of action available to her is to kill humanity for the sake of her species, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent, thanks to Diana, that this isn’t actually necessary. I’m pretty sure Anna’s motivated by her own lust for power, not by any sort of duty to her species.

And another thing. I’m interpreting this dream sequence not so much as Erica realizing she and Anna are the same, as much as Erica’s guilt and fear nagging at her. She’d had to do quite a few nasty things over the course of the series. Even though she’s working toward the right end, the means are taking a toll on her.

Have we ever seen Anna experience even a little regret at having to kill humanity? No. It’s all kill, kill, kill. I would LOVE to see Anna regret having to massacre humanity, then going ahead and doing it anyway. THAT would be some mirror-imaging for you.

I’m calling shenanigans on this one.

OK, back to the recap.

Erica wakes up from her dream, and who should be in bed next to her but Hobbes. I suppose they’re fucking again.

THE MOTHERSHIP

Up on the ship, Anna fills in Marcus/us on what’s going on with her Evil Plans.

I’m gonna miss ol’ Exposition Face

Tonight is the night Lisa will finally breed with Tyler, thus creating the millions of new soldier eggs Anna needs to rule Earth. Marcus points out that, hey, they still haven’t figured out how to eliminate the human soul from a person, so how exactly does Anna plan to pull this off? Maybe with Bliss? But didn’t Blissing one human almost kill Anna last time?

Anna tells him to shut up.

Then Amy walks in. Since the previous episode she’s aged even further. The alien princess no longer resembles a small man like she has in the past. Now, she’s an adorable little scamp in tights and saddle shoes.

Who also kills people with her mind

Amy’s just had a nightmare in which “something bad” happened to Anna. And since Amy’s part human and has emotions and shit, Anna is forced to act like a caring mother, or at least a reasonable facsimile of one. She comforts Amy and promises she’ll never abandon her like Morris Chestnut did.

Lisa comes walking by at this moment and sees this tableau, leaving her to wonder exactly what’s going on.

“Am I being replaced? Meaning…Mom is going to have Tyler mate with Amy? That’s just wrong. Or am I still supposed to be the brood mare but Amy’s going to get more attention from Anna? Or…I’m being replaced for some OTHER reason? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!”

She’s almost as confused as I am.

FIFTH COLUMN HEADQUARTERS

Back on Earth, Erica and Hobbes arrive at HQ, where Morris Chestnut and the others are preparing for an emergency video conference with Diana, about what they don’t know.

Morris Chestnut pulls Diana up on a holo-vid. She has learned from Marcus that the breeding plan is about to begin. If it succeeds that spells doom for the human race, so they pretty much have to kill Anna now or it’s all over. Chad worries they haven’t planned enough a mission like this. It could be suicide.

Diana shoots him down, but ultimately, it’s Erica’s call, as she’s responsible for everyone.

Now, last week, when Erica and her crew backed down from their chance to sabotage the Blue Energy reactor, Erica flew into a rage over their missed opportunity and vowed they would not blow another one. When everyone objected, she stared them all down

And this week, what does our cold-blooded badass leader do? She…asks for everyone’s opinion to see whether they want to do this or not.

ABC: “Characters NOT welcome. In fact, any characters who are caught trespassing will be shot on site.”

They put it to a vote, and they all think they should do it. Hooray! Thank god everyone in the group was nice enough to agree with her!

Now then, the first step is to get Lisa down to Earth to be part of the plan. Then they need Diana free from her jail cell so she can fill the imminent power vacuum. Erica sends Morris Chestnut up to the ship to do the deed.

AT A WAREHOUSE SOMEWHERE

Moments later, Erica and Chad are hanging out in a warehouse somewhere, when the doors open and a hearse backs in. Hobbes and Jack, who have apparently acquired black chauffeur suits and stolen a hearse all within the last ten seconds, step out.

“No time to talk or follow a logical course of events! We have a job to do.”

They pull out a coffin from the trunk, open it up, and out comes Lisa.

You might say this is foreshadowing, if you thought they did such things on this show. (Hint: Lisa does not die in this episode).

Also in the meantime, they have asked Lisa to acquire an Immolation Gun, and smuggle Tyler off the mothership. Lisa’s only been able to pull off the gun part.

Lisa wants to know what this “plan” they have for her is. They’ve kept her in the dark up until now, because, as Erica says, they didn’t want Lisa to think very long about what they’re about to ask her to do.

They’re going to kill Anna, we know that. Anna’s been under heavy guard ever since they tried to whack her back at the Concordia gala, so they need to draw Anna away from her protection to get a shot at her. To do that, they’re going to pretend to kidnap Lisa and, posing as the kidnappers, demand Anna come get her daughter alone.

And then…Lisa’s going to kill Anna. That’s who I’d pick, too. My second pick would be Chad. I wouldn’t want someone with actual killing experience, like Hobbes, Erica, Jack, Morris Chestnut, or Guy Fieri. I would pick Lisa or Chad, or maybe Sid the scientist.

In other words, you can pretty much always count on someone who’s never faced any combat situation to be cool under fire and get the job done.

You can always count on that person.

Shut up.

(Actually, what I’d REALLY do is tell Lisa this is the plan, then sneak a bomb into the warehouse and blow them both up).

ACT ONE

EXPOSITION TONIGHT/THE MOTHERSHIP

Anna, Marcus, and Thomas are watching Chad’s show with horror. Fifth Column has gone ahead with the kidnapping, and Chad broadcasts the ransom video. In it appears Lisa, strapped to a chair, and alongside her two kidnappers in the recurring Little Green Men masks. Their demands? Anna’s life for Lisa.

Anna is furious! She immediately dispatches her best tracker to find out where Lisa’s being held.

Thomas doesn’t think Anna should go down to Earth for any kind of meeting because of the danger factor, but Marcus, possibly remembering his rendezvous with Diana and seeing an opportunity to topple Anna, urges her to personally get Lisa back. After all, Lisa is the future of the species. (Until they bring up the Queen Egg option later this episode, anyway).

THE PEACE AMBASSADOR CENTER

So Anna and her cohorts head down to Earth, where they meet up with Erica and Kendrick. Did you forget Erica’s in the FBI, with a job and responsibilities? I did.

Erica and the gang have selected Jack to convey their kidnapping demands to Anna. Everyone discusses what to do. Should Anna actually meet Jack? If they get the location out of him, should Anna meet the kidnappers alone, or should they send a body double?

Erica uses her FBI cover to mess with Anna’s mind a little…first she tells Anna that “there’s not a mother on Earth who wouldn’t risk her own life to save her child,” which Anna clearly takes to heart, and then tells Anna there’s no way they would let her risk her life like this. Body double it is!

Oh, also, there’s a huge crowd of people gathered in support of Anna…

Two things I like about this: one, “Mothers Against Fifth Column,” and two, several extras are obviously laughing their asses off

But it appears Erica’s mind games have worked, because a few moments later Anna reverses course and agrees to meet with Jack.

THE MOTHERSHIP

Meanwhile, Morris Chestnut makes his way up to the mothership. He enters the main concourse without any sort of disguise whatsoever and meets with Joshua right out in the open.

“How many times do I have to tell you that Ryan Nichols is a wanted fugitive! That’s six times this week you’ve let him come onto the ship unimpeded!”

Joshua gives him the latest news: Anna took the bait and is off the ship, meaning Morris Chestnut is good to rescue his daughter. But first they have to free Diana. They run off to take care of that.

WHEREVER ANNA’S SUPPOSED TO BE MEETING JACK

And now Anna is taken to speak with Jack.

Hey, do you think Jack is going to get in trouble for openly admitting he’s a terrorist like this? I don’t!

But before they talk Lisa, Anna decides to have a tense confrontation with him over his incendiary anti-V speeches. Anna blames him for causing incidents like Lisa’s kidnapping, while Jack, being Jack, stands tall and tells her to fuck off, because God tells him to do what he does. Anna then asks him whether he really is such a religious nutcase, and Jack says he is.

(I might make fun of this, being that it’s total nonsense to pick a dead-end fight with a guy who has a big say in whether your own daughter lives or dies, but I actually do think it’s a sign of Anna’s continuing to give in to the human emotions. So in other words it’s character-driven stupidity, not just regular stupidity).

Then they talk turkey. Jack gives Anna an envelope with the address where Lisa is being held and warns her not to show up with security.

Before she leaves, Anna puts in one last word. This “God” Jack thinks so highly of…Anna hopes one day to meet Him. That made me laugh out loud.

Finally, Anna hands the envelope over to her best tracker, who sniffs it for human-smell and quickly runs off to find Lisa.

ACT TWO

OUTSIDE THE PEACE AMBASSADOR CENTER

A few moments later, Anna steps outside and already has an update on Lisa’s condition—the tracker has found her, but there are no kidnappers with her. She’s alone. Should they rescue her and take her up to the ship? Curiously, Anna declines. She will go through with the kidnappers’ demands anyway.

Then, Anna turns to the crowd of supporters and walks up to a podium that’s conveniently been placed there for her. She starts delivering an impromptu address that’s transparently designed manipulate public opinion: Anna’s tells everyone that although she’s facing a deep personal crisis, she’s trying to be strong, and she loves her daughter and will do anything for her, and the humans are really great. Everyone loves it.

And after that, we get a sense why Anna didn’t ask her minions to rescue Lisa: she orders Marcus to make sure the international media to be there for the confrontation with the kidnappers. So she wants to engineer yet another PR coup.

A WAREHOUSE SOMEWHERE

It’s over to a warehouse, where Lisa is tied to a chair and Hobbes is giving her one last bit of encouragement to stay strong and carry out the assassination plan.

Wait…I thought the trackers said she was alone…gahhh

And once Lisa’s pulled the trigger on Anna, Hobbes will then alert Joshua and Morris Chestnut so that Diana can retake command of her people.

OUTSIDE THE WAREHOUSE

Outside, the media has already gathered, and by media I mean just Chad. A police barricade has been set up. Erica, Kendrick, and a crowd of onlookers watch as Anna arrives next and walks right up to the warehouse entrance, no hesitation.

Hey! This guy got paid to put on a uniform and pretend to be a SWAT guy. I want that job. Well, better get back to my recap.

And on that note, Anna disappears inside the warehouse.

INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE

Anna closes the door behind her. The warehouse is silent and empty. Anna finally spots Lisa, sitting all the way back at the other end of the building.

Anna frees Lisa, determines that she’s OK, and when Lisa tells her the kidnappers have just now run away, Anna gets incensed. She turns away and vows that nobody does this to the V’s and lives to tell about it.

With Anna’s back turned, Lisa pulls the Incinerator Gun out of a drawer. She aims it at Anna’s back…

And they do the ol’ gunman-in-the-reflection trick.

See? That’s why Erica picked Lisa to assassinate Anna. She was just helping out a hardworking gal with a big heart.

Anna keeps her cool, and rather than spin around to try to disarm Lisa, or talk her out of it, she pretends not to notice. She starts telling Lisa how worried she was when she learned about the kidnapping, and how much Lisa means to her.

Even more, the experience has led Anna to reconsider her genocidal ways, and now she believes the V’s and humans should all live happily ever after. Again, Anna’s showing a pretty decent mastery of the ol’ human emotions here.

And Lisa, of course, can’t bring herself to cap Anna, and lowers her gun. Wah, wahhhhh.

ACT THREE

OUTSIDE THE WAREHOUSE

After the break, we move back to the crowds outside the warehouse, all waiting for an update on the goings-on inside.

The doors open, and Lisa emerges. Erica, Chad, and maybe even Marcus, appear thrilled—this could indicate Lisa whacked Anna and the plan worked.

And then, Anna follows behind her. Shit.

Chad, ever the conscientious double-agent, exclaims out loud in the middle of a crowd of people and several news cameras, “My god, she didn’t do it!” referring to Lisa.

Erica has the presence of mind to call Joshua to let him know Lisa didn’t come through for them. She catches Joshua and Morris Chestnut as they’re leading Diana down a hallway on the V mothership. They give their ex-queen with the news and offer to take her back to her cell, because if Anna caught wind of this she’d no doubt kill Diana, but Diana refuses to go back. She’s come too far to back down now. She orders Joshua to assemble her people.

Back on Earth, Anna decides to give some interviews, giving Erica a moment to take Lisa aside and ask just what the fuck is wrong with her. Lisa’s only excuse is that she just couldn’t make herself kill her mother. All that stuff Anna said about living in harmony with the humans really took hold.

Nonsense, Erica says. Anna is merciless and manipulative. And Lisa spits back that Anna is no more merciless than Erica can be.

Ughhhhhh that is so not a valid point. Ease up on the theme already!

MOTHERSHIP ASSEMBLY HALL

And now, Diana walks out onstage to address her assembled subjects. This is the first they have seen of their true queen in fifteen years…

And they all just stand there

Diana tells her subjects that Anna illegitimately took the throne and has been misleading them for the past decade and a half. Humans aren’t the enemy. Anna is. In fact, the human soul will benefit the V’s tremendously. As the rightful queen, Diana will make sure the V’s live alongside humanity in peace. And how do the V’s take this proposal?

Yup, still standing there

They all kneel before her. Diana declares herself queen again, and then,

Surprise!

The Queen Mum is dead! Holy cow! In a matter of moments, the V race have seen the re-emergence of their true queen, a total paradigm shift, and then the usurper regain power by killing her mother!

Why not keep standing?

And things pretty much go right back to the way they were.

Anna gloats over Diana. Diana spits out that Anna just doomed the entire species by doing this. Then she dies. Anna walks right over to Lisa, looks her in the eye, and says, “Now that’s how you kill your mother.”

A while back I mentioned that this season finale was the most satisfying in TV history. This isn’t why. Keep reading. It’s comin’.

ACT FOUR

BACK AT THE V’S ASSEMBLY HALL

Even though the V’s were and remain docile, Anna still has to take official control of the room, so she turns to the crowd and starts spinning events in her favor.

No, Anna actually imprisoned Diana to PROTECT the species. Diana got all emotional and Anna had to keep that shit from infecting the V’s. But it’s all fine now, because Diana is dead and Anna will protect them all.

Just, nobody do that again, OK? If anyone tries anything funny, they will also be dealt with…starting with Lisa. Anna orders her minions to take Lisa away. And on that note, everyone bows before her.

Joshua and Morris Chestnut watch all this go down in horror. Joshua warns MC to get the hell out of Dodge, but Morris Chestnut, like Diana earlier, has come too far to run away now. He’s not leaving without Amy.

Are you ready? Here it comes!

AMY’S ROOM

Morris Chestnut makes haste to Amy’s room, where he finds her, I don’t know, doing alien kid stuff. He calls out to her and she spins around. She doesn’t seem glad to see him.

He tells Amy he’s come to rescue her. Amy’s OWN kill-tentacle detaches and rears back behind her in warning. Why should she go with him after he abandoned her to suffer?

He tries to explain that Anna is the cause of all this, that she made Amy sick in the first place and manipulated her into hating him. But Amy isn’t buying it. She wraps her tentacle around Morris Chestnut’s neck and starts to squeeze. He will never hurt her or Anna ever again.

He chokes and sputters, trying to get one last plea out of his throat…

Aaaaaaand he doesn’t

Ho-ly cow!

Makes sense, right? Was anything else interesting about Morris Chesnut’s character? What else would he do on this show?

And that’s just the tip of the satisfaction iceberg…

ERICA’S HOUSE

Now that all their plans have fallen to shit, Erica has to figure out a way to rescue Tyler from the ship. She calls him up on his cell. She comes right out with it—he has to get out of there. He is in danger.

Tyler’s obtuse, so Erica decides it’s time to play the last card up her sleeve, the one she’s been saving for the entire series: she tells Tyler the V’s are really lizards underneath.

Tyler’s mind is only partially blown. He doesn’t discount his mother’s warnings, but he has to hear the truth from Lisa first.

THE FBI BUILDING

Then the show takes quite a turn…it turns out Kendrick and Agent Bolling, that guy called into investigate Erica earlier this season, have planted a spy camera in Erica’s kitchen and have heard this entire conversation. They know that she knows the truth about the V’s, and this is very bad news for them. Uh-oh. Bolling makes a phone call.

THE MOTHERSHIP

Things are going much better for Anna. Her decision to appear to risk her life to rescue Lisa has paid off and the world loves her.

There’s still the problem of Anna’s heir and key component to the breeding plan has just betrayed her, though. Fortunately, Anna has a backup. Remember that Queen Egg that’s been mentioned periodically? This one:

Well, it’s ready to hatch.

Inside that egg, apparently, is a sexually mature female V who can step into Lisa’s place. All they have to do is throw some human skin over it and download Lisa’s memories into its mind.

The egg begins to hatch now. Out steps the new princess. And we finally get to see what the V’s actually look like:

And it’s basically a green Alien. Nice.

And with that, New Lisa is off to the Human Skin Spa to get fitted for her Lisa suit.

ACT FIVE

FIFTH COLUMN HEADQUARTERS

Chad and Jack hang around the HQ the evening after their second failed attempt on Anna’s life.

Hobbes is absent. In fact, so are all of his things. Literally the entire headquarters has been stripped bare. No explanation. Erica shows up and they have no idea what’s happened.

At least Chad and Jack notice something’s off. It’s not like, “Hobbes who? The tiger from the comic strip? What are you even talking about, Erica?”

And Hobbes’s disappearance DOESN’T EVEN GET EXPLAINED.

What the hell? Also, do you remember the time he colluded with the V’s to blow up Eli Cohn’s headquarters, and nothing ever came of that? At least the show’s consistent.

Erica’s attention turns to Tyler’s predicament. Anna remains in power, Tyler is in danger, and there’s nothing she can do about it. She starts to flip.

Helpfully, Jack tells her not to panic, because that’s what you tell a parent whose kid could be about to die. Usually they stop panicking when you tell them that.

Erica turns to Jack and thanks him for being who he is, i.e. someone with strong principles, who never compromised throughout this whole ordeal.

THE MOTHERSHIP

Things are going much better for Anna. She hasn’t forgotten about the kidnapping, and right now she’s poring over the kidnapper video to find out who’s behind the Little Green Men masks.

Marcus arrives as she does this. In the wake of Diana’s failed coup, he’s decided to make peace with his actions. He comes right out and tells Anna that he collaborated with Diana and contributed to the conspiracy. He qualifies this by explaining his reasons—he saw Anna fall prey to human emotions and feared she was losing control. But now he’s making this confession out of renewed loyalty to Anna, and he submits himself to her will.

“(sigh) Go ahead…” I loved that.

Uncharacteristically, Anna decides to spare him. She sees that Marcus did what he thought was best for the species. Can’t fault him for that. The attempted coup has given Anna cause for reflection and growth. She now sees the value of human emotion—not as an addition to the V species, but as a tool for manipulating humanity.

Plus, it’d be nice to have some help rooting out the remaining conspirators. Anna turns back to the kidnapper video with Marcus. The kidnappers’ voices have been scrambled, but luckily, the V’s have invented a Technologies for just this situation! Anna unscrambles the kidnapper’s voice, and lo and behold, it’s Chad. So he’s probably dead.

Finally, during the commercial break, New Lisa has gotten her Lisa skin applied to her and is ready for presentation. Joshua brings her to Anna. He doesn’t look too pleased with himself right now.

New Lisa is perfect and ready to mate with Tyler. Anna orders that it be so.

LISA’S BED CHAMBER

New Lisa enters the bed chamber to find Tyler, looking troubled. He wants to know if what Erica told him is true, that the V’s are really space lizards underneath.

New Lisa simply tells him no, that they aren’t. And that is good enough for him. They get down to business.

DIANA’S DUNGEON JAIL

While this is going down, Anna and her minions chuck Old Lisa into the dungeon formerly occupied by Diana. Why doesn’t Anna just kill old Lisa? Because she wants Old Lisa to suffer first. Anna pulls up a video feed from the bedchamber, and forces her daughter to watch New Lisa fuck her boyfriend. New Lisa looks directly into the camera as she gyrates.

ERICA’S HOUSE

Erica has returned home and continues to call Tyler’s cell while he’s busy creating millions of lizard babies. While she’s distracted, some men in ski masks creep in and kidnap her.

LISA’S BEDCHAMBER

Old Lisa looks on as Tyler enjoys his post-coital relaxation. Then, New Lisa sits up, unhinges her jaw, and, oh my god…

“I don’t have to finish high school, I’m gonna be a space pilot, and I get to have sex with aliens whenever I want. My life is grea-ggggggghhhhhhhhh!”

It’s really happening! I’ve been advocating Tyler’s horrific death for the entire season, and it finally came true! Kaloo-Kalay!

A SHADOWY ROOM SOMEWHERE

Erica wakes up to find herself, like Lisa, held to a chair. This time she’s in a shadowy room surrounded by shadowy men in shadowy dark suits, like every time there’s a shadow government on a TV show. They’re probably at the Manhattan Men’s Shadow Government & Racquet Club. It’s where you go to take care of your shadow government stuff.

They probably had to reserve this Shadow Room weeks ago. They’re harder to get than the squash courts, that’s for sure

Out from the shadows steps a man who calls himself “Lars.” He’s the leader of something called Project Ares. Or maybe Aries, from astrology.

Lars tells Erica they know all about her anti-V work, and it’s time for her to pay for it. Is he one of the many V agents who have secretly infiltrated the governments of the world? Possibly!

EXPOSITION TONITE

Over at Chad’s show, he’s just hangin’ out at his anchor desk when a squad of V goons show up. They inform him Anna would like to see him. Right now. And he agrees to leave.

There goes another one! This episode is the best!

PROJECT ARIES

Lars escorts Erica down into some sort of top-secret bunker where a bunch of military and government personnel are milling around. Lars tells her more about Project Aries. It turns out they’re also anti-V, so Anna isn’t in peril. Project Aries consists of various human operatives who suspect the V’s are not peaceful. They want Erica to join the team.

And then, he introduces her to Kendrick and Bolling. Erica’s mind is officially blown.

Pssst. Your son is dead.

THE MOTHERSHIP

With Old Lisa and Diana out of the way, the Fifth Column in ruins, Tyler dead, New Lisa pregnant with her warriors, and Concordia online, Anna has just one last thing to do: figure out a way to control the human spirit.

She steps into her Bliss chamber. She’s gonna try to Bliss everyone at once, damn the consequences.

Blood starts pouring out of her face. Marcus tries to stop her but she won’t listen. The Bliss isn’t taking effect.

And then, Amy steps into the chamber. And begins Blissing humanity with no ill effects.

PROJECT ARIES

Down on Earth, the Aries’ Bliss Warning Alarms start going off. Anna and Amy’s plan is working! Erica runs to the elevator and rides up to the city streets.

THE MOTHERSHIP

Amy concludes her message of peace and submission. Anna is amazed and calls her a miracle child.

MANHATTAN

Erica emerges from the Project Aries bunker to find all of the Manhattanites standing stock-still in the streets, staring up at the sky with slack expressions on their faces. She can’t shake any of them awake.

And finally, she finds Jack, hypnotized like the rest of them.

And that’s your second season.

[HARRY CAREY]

V’s win! V’s win! V’s win!

THE END

So again, while that officially wasn’t a series finale, it sure felt like one to me. So many of the characters on the show have pretty much one thing that motivates them—Morris Chestnut has Amy, Erica has Tyler, Jack has his ethical code. And without any of those things, what happens to these characters? How does a show get rid of these motivators mid-stream and expect to continue? Could you see Tony Soprano’s entire family getting whacked in the middle of the series?

And did you find it odd that Erica didn’t even hear about Tyler’s death? What, are they planning to put that scene off until the Season Three premier? Wouldn’t it make more sense to end Season Two on that note? Whatever.

Thanks for reading this season, loyal V-ers! I highly doubt this show’s coming back, if you wanted more V. But if you want more of my amaaaaazing recapper stylings, I’ll be back in July for Season Four of Breaking Bad. I am so fucking excited for that show.