V: The Job Gun

Before we get rolling this week, I feel like I should do a quick recap of Anna’s ongoing Evil Plan, for my own edification, because I barely remember it myself, and the Plan is so convoluted I can only think all the way through them when I’ve had eight hours sleep and a ton of coffee. I’m going to see if I can make sense of this…feel free to correct me if any of this is wrong…

So the Evil Plan is all about V’s breeding with humans/killing us or some variation thereof. God knows why they need to be worried about this. That hasn’t been explained. I would postulate that it’s because of inbreeding.

Regardless, breeding with us is the whole reason they came to Earth in the first place. They pretend they came in peace, but really it’s all a cover story for the Evil Plan.

OK, I think I’m off to a good start. Let’s keep going…

Also, I am going to forget everything that happened in Season One. If I tried to include that, I would pop a retinal nerve.

The most recent Phase of the Evil Plan was dumping the phosphorescent Red Rain on all of us. This somehow makes us ripe for breeding. The current Phase involves Anna trying to rid humanity of the soul, as if you could actually do that, as if the soul were tangible like your appendix or your eyebrows or your lymph nodes. (By the way I love how the show just slaps the same Judaeo-Christian concept of the soul on all of humanity. That’s awesome). As if, as if, as if.

Anna’s resident Science Guy, Joshua, has apparently figured out a way to isolate and remove the soul, so that Phase of the Plan is almost done.

Other elements of the Evil Plan I left out or couldn’t make sense of: Anna’s sent for an enormous war fleet from the V homeworld…that weird V skeleton from a few weeks back…the whole thing with the secret V experiments on pregnant women that resulted in Tyler having half of a normal human’s DNA and somehow not ending up with Down’s Syndrome…Ryan being able to have a baby with a human woman…and probably ten other things I’m leaving out.

OK then. I still have no idea what any of this means, but at least I feel like I’ve done something.

Are you ready? I’m not.

COLD OPEN

THE MOTHERSHIP

We open on Anna showing Chad the holo-plans for something called “Concordia.” It’s a giant needle-shaped city-looking thing…

Anna tells us ‘Concordia’ is Latin for ‘Peace,’ so nobody on Earth will be suspicious now

What’s Concordia? Well, as Anna explains it, Concordia is a giant building. And it’s full of technology. And it’s going to create tons and tons of jobs. They will build these all over the world.

I’m not being glib. That’s really all the explanation she gives.

So, uh…rejoice!

To be fair, I know this is a cover-story because we know Concordia is really some secret alien processing center that’s gonna factor into the Evil Plans somehow. And since it’s a cover story it doesn’t need to BE an amazing technology thing, it just has to LOOK like one. But that has got to be the shittiest cover story in history. Anna could hire Donald Rumsfeld to be her PR rep and it would be an improvement.

“I would understand your skepticisim if Concordia were an unknown-unknown, but what we have here is clearly a known-unknown, and in due time might well become a known-known, or at the very least an unknown-known-known. But certainly not an unknown-known-unknown.”

And then he throws a smoke bomb and vanishes from the press conference.

Seriously, why not just make Anna a genie. “What’s that, humans? You’ve got unemployment? Sha-ZAM. There’s some jobs for you.”

Whatever, whatever, whatever, let’s move on.

Even better, Anna says, Concordia is going to be non-intrusive, because V’s are building them on lands that have been abandoned or fallen into disrepair.

You know, like midtown Manhattan

To Chad, who is dumb, this looks like a wide-scale urban renewal project, which Anna says it is. And she’s hosting a gala event in New York this very night to unveil it. I can’t wait.

ERICA’S HOUSE

It turns out Anna and Chad are being broadcast live, and we cut over to Erica’s house, where she’s watching this with disgust. She turns off the tube.

Then she picks up an iPhone and re-watches the video where Tyler and his Peace Ambassador buddies trash St. Josephine’s. It’s tough for her to watch. But it looks like she hasn’t confronted Tyler about it yet, because next she calls Tyler’s father, Joe, leaves a message asking him to meet so they can discuss this together, and finally hides the iPhone when Tyler comes downstairs.

I’m guessing she hasn’t confronted Tyler for political reasons. She knows he’s a dipshit teenager, and if she showed any signs of being a disciplinarian, no matter how justified she was, Tyler would run straight into Anna’s arms.

Which is actually really interesting to me, and I wish this show had more it

Today is Tyler’s 18^th birthday, and Erica has prepared a sad-sack of a cake, but it’s a tradition to make this same cake every year, so everyone’s happy. Until Erica remembers all the times they’ve celebrated this tradition as a family, and Tyler bitterly remarks that they’re not a family any more.

He apologizes when he sees what an asshole thing that was to say, and tries to smooth things over by saying he’s just worried their entire family is falling apart. Erica decides it’s time to shove some cake in his mouth to shut him up, but he’s on his way to the Peace Ambassador center to meet Lisa.

Erica goes all Momz and worries about him because of all the shit that’s gone down at the Peace Ambassador Center, like Tyler’s own friends having their throats slit, but Tyler stands firm. Today he is 18! He is a man! He is not (but really is) a kid any more!

So she backs off, gives him a hug, and tells him she’ll always be there for him.

“I’m so happy my job is saving you from your terrible decisions.”

THE MOTHERSHIP

Next we get a plot scene where Anna, Marcus, and the V chief engineer named Thomas all discuss what this week’s episode is going to be about…

Thomas tells Anna the Concordia plan is right on schedule, referring it to as the “invasion,” like we figured. (Instead of “Thomas,” wouldn’t it be cool if the V’s had secret alien names for each other in their own language they use when humans aren’t around? I wonder why they don’t do that).

Then Marcus warns Anna that tonight’s gala for Concordia might be a tempting target for the Fifth Column. Anna brushes it off. She doesn’t think Fifth Column, or its leader, Eli Cohn, in case we’re forgetting, will be a problem, as she has Morris Chestnut in her pocket.

NEW JACK CITY

Speaking of which, Morris Chestnut is waiting in an alley in the middle of the city. A black car pulls up, and out steps Eli Cohn for what looks like a secret rendezvous.

“Remember how I murdered three teenagers last week? Hope I get to do that again!”

Morris Chestnut called the meeting because of his alien baby up on the mothership. He believes the only way to rescue the kid is to get rid of Anna, and to do that, he wants to assassinate her. Morris Chestnut proposes he and the rest of the Good Fifth Column will carry this out, with Cohn’s help.

Cohn balks. Erica made it clear she won’t work with him, because of the ideological differences, but Morris Chestnut reassures him. He can bridge the gap.

Cohn does ask Morris Chestnut if he can be trusted, and when Morris Chestnut says yes, Cohn is satisfied. The chance to get rid of Anna for good is too tempting to pass up. He even hopes he’ll be able to use Erica’s position as head of the Fifth Column Task Force to help this plan along.

Did I mention they want to kill Anna by BLOWING HER UP? That’s the ideer.

ACT ONE

THE FBI BUILDING

Unfortunately, Erica has to show up at her actual job once in a while, and today she’s at work.

She checks in with Agent Bolling, i.e. the only guy at the FBI who seems to notice Erica’s daily unexplained absences. She wants to know if he got that wiretap on Jack yet, but it’s going to take a couple more days.

Then Kendrick shows up and informs them both that they will head the security team for Anna’s gala tonight.

Bolling notices Erica’s ex, Joe, has shown up at the office. He points this out to Erica and tries to sympathize with her over their relationship falling apart, but she brushes him off and meets up with the  ex.

ERICA’S OFFICE

Joe wants to know what’s up with Tyler, but first, Erica’s got something to show him: a photo slideshow of all the evidence they’ve compiled against the V’s. It’s pretty damning:

“I guess I could’ve showed this to some news outlets or politicians or something, but I don’t know how to attach photos to e-mails!”

She reads Joe in on all the stuff that’s happened over the past season and a half, how she’s discovered the V’s tampered with Tyler’s DNA and intend to fill him with their evil alien genes.

If earlier it felt crammed into the scene when Tyler grumbled about not having a family, this moment is why—Erica needs Joe to join her in a little Tyler-manipulation. She and Joe will pretend they’re getting back together. That’ll keep Tyler tied to them, and to Earth, and they’ll keep him from Anna’s sinister clutches.

Joe’s still reeling from having all this crazy-ass information about the V’s dropped on him, and in his bewilderment, agrees to get back together with Erica.

Maybe that’s been Erica’s plan the whole time. The V’s really are peaceful like they say they are. Erica has cooked up the entire show as a way to get Joe to move back in with her.

I can only hope. But anyway, Joe agrees to it, and Erica’s cover story is in place.

Hey! Parallel with Anna’s thing!

THE MOTHERSHIP

Sure enough, just as Erica makes her moves, Anna continues her plan to snag Tyler away from Erica. Anna catches Lisa preparing a gift for Tyler’s birthday, and proceeds to lick her lips over Tyler’s recent manhood. (Not that way. Maybe I could have phrased that sentence differently, but, um, I didn’t).Tyler being an adult means he can make his own decisions. Anna plans to use that to her advantage. She doesn’t say how. All she indicates now is, “By giving Tyler a future!”

CHAD’S PLACE OF BUSINESS

I’m calling it that because I have no idea what network Chad reports for. I barely remembered he even had a TV show, since all he ever does is get on TV and fill the audience in on what things are happening for the plot. I still don’t know what Chad’s show-within-the-show is called, so I’ll just call it Exposition Tonight!

Chad’s boss shows up and starts giving him shit. As he seems to be a generic hard-ass journalism editor, I’m gonna call him J. Jonah Jameson.

“Forget the V’s. I want pictures of Spider Man, and I want them five minutes ago!”

JJJ is questioning Chad’s recent choice to produce what was basically an ad for Concordia and the V’s. Public opinion lately has turned against the the V’s, and the audience wants Chad to be tougher on them.

So, JJJ is going to be making some changes to the format of Exposition Tonight! (Uh-oh! Format changes!) He will make it into a point-counterpoint show. They’re going to bring in some other anchors to audition alongside Chad.

Chad takes it in stride, apparently unaware what “point-counterpoint” means.

Seeing Chad debate someone is now my favorite storyline of the show

(You know, I do like how both Erica and Chad are having to face the music for the bullshit they pull at their jobs–i.e. Erica secretly working with terrorists and Chad secretly giving Anna control of his show so he can raise his own Q-Score. Maybe I’m giving them praise for what’s more of a storytelling obligation, but I’ll take it).

 

PEACE AMBASSADOR CENTER

But for now it’s back to Tyler and Lisa. She meets up with him outside the Peace Ambassador center and gives him his birthday gift. It’s a portable video player-type thing with footage of them kissing. A living photograph? I have no idea. She probably doesn’t fully understand human birthday customs. But Tyler loves it anyway.

She starts to bring up Tyler’s church vandalism from yesterday, but before she can get it out, Erica shows up with Joe. The cover story is that Joe’s here to see Tyler on his birthday. He gives Ty a hug, and the man-boy is touched.

But Joe’s also got a surprise in store. He pulls out a photo of a restored motorcycle, just like the one Joe used himself when he turned 18, to go on a cross-country solo road trip, all very Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. They want Tyler to go on a similar odyssey before he goes to college.

I wonder where he’s going to go. I bet he’s got a scholarship to the Sorbonne.

Joe pulls out a road map showing where Tyler is supposed to go and exactly how far away from the city he’s going to be. Hilarious. Tyler is stunned and happy.

THE MOTHERSHIP

We were wondering last week what happened to those fiber-optic cameras the V’s put in every Peace Ambassador’s jacket so they can spy on them. Where were they last week when this happened?

Well, ever-so-consistent, the show has them back this week, because Marcus, Thomas, and Anna have just seen Joe and Erica’s gambit go down. Marc and Tom worry this means they’ve lost Tyler, but wouldn’t you know it, Anna has a trick up her sleeve: a gift of her own to give Tyler.

A threeway with her and Lisa would be my guess

FIFTH COLUMN HEADQUARTERS

Now, Morris Chestnut returns to the other Good Fifth Column members to tell them the news of Eli Cohn and the assassination attempt. Morris Chestnut highlights the part about Cohn using a bomb, and pleads with Erica that she could use her head of security position to help them pull it off.

If you know the show and care enough to know the main characters, you already know exactly how everyone feels about this. If you don’t, here:

Hobbes: loves it

Jack: hates it

Erica: Worries about hurting people, like a total WOMAN.

What follows is more hemming and hawing about collateral damage and moral relativism, so I’ll cut to the chase: Erica won’t do it, Morris Chestnut says he’ll go along with it with her or without her, and Erica warns him she’ll take him out if he does.

ACT TWO

NEW YORK CITY

We pick up right after that exchange. Apparently Erica’s stormed out without resolving the dispute. Jack is hurrying along behind her, worried she’s abandoning the group. Is the band breaking up?

She holds firm. They’re both the conscience of the Good Fifth Column, so walking out on an operation that would kill 300 random people was the right move. But Jack stops. It looks like he’s reconsidering. Maybe killing Anna IS worth it.

Before they get into it, though, Erica gets a call. It’s from Joe. Something’s going on with Tyler. Erica runs off, leaving Jack hanging.

THE MOTHERSHIP

Joe was calling from the Mothership, where Erica arrives to meet him. Anna is preparing to give Tyler his birthday gift, in some random hallway on the ship somewhere.

Anna is surprised to see Erica there, as she assumed Erica would be, you know, concentrating more on tonight’s security preparations, but Anna rolls with it. Now it’s time for the gift.

Anna introduces Tyler to Thomas the engineer. Thomas will be teaching Tyler…to fly a V shuttle. He will be the first human ever to do it.

Tyler, Erica, and Joe are all speechless for completely different reasons. The show’s already established Tyler is a huge geek for aircraft and space ships, especially alien ones,  so he’s completely forgotten about his Easy Rider plans. Erica and Joe try to get Tyler out of it, since he has school, but the aliens will not take “no” for an answer, and Tyler’s fate is sealed. Erica chokes out a thank you, and Anna coolly thanks her for letting her play a role in Tyler’s life.

Anna and her minions leave with Tyler, except for Lisa, who lingers to warn Erica and Joe that whatever this space pilot plan means, it has something to do with Concordia.

How do they stop Anna now? Erica’s got nothin’.

EXPOSITION TONIGHT

We find Chad in the middle of a fierce debate with a news anchor named Kerry.

He is arguing passionately in favor of the V’s and Concordia, but Kerry stands against it. Their arguments are about as nuanced as you’d expect. Here, let me summarize:

KELLY: In the past, gifts have often been used to trick people. Like a Trojan horse.

CHAD: But gifts are good! Look at Blue Energy!

KELLY: Well, gifts weren’t for the Trojans!

CHAD: (no response)

How is it possible to sucker punch someone who’s already on guard? Chad made it happen

J. Jonah Jameson calls the fight in Kerry’s favor and offers her the job. Looks like Mr. Narcissist is going to be sharing the spotlight. (I’m kidding, he isn’t really a narcissist. Chad has no character flaws).

THE FBI BUILDING

Bolling finds Erica in her office working on some stuff, and casually questions her on where she’s been the entire day, instead of at her job. She blames it on Tyler needing her, and they both exit to attend the security team briefing.

Marcus is conducting things, and he’s gathered all the agents involved. Before he gets started, he holo-conferences Anna into the proceedings, and she thanks everyone for all their hard work and such.

FIFTH COLUMN HEADQUARTERS

The show edits in this with another sequence, which features Erica returning to her comrades after a change of heart—now that she might lose Tyler, she will gladly risk hurting people if it means stopping Anna. She briefs Cohn and the others so they can set up their plans, while she and Bolling also brief their agents on security. Here’s the summary of both:

FBI BRIEFING

They’ll have metal detectors, bomb detectors, a perimeter, etc. etc. Tight security, nothing special.

FIFTH COLUMN BRIEFING

-This part is much more interesting. Erica won’t let them use a bomb, so instead Hobbes will kill Anna with a sniper rifle. Cohn volunteers to be the spotter.

-Morris Chestnut volunteers some anatomy info: shoot Anna to the right of the sternum. A V’s heart is a mirror opposite of where a human’s is.

-To get Hobbes and Cohn inside, Jack will lead an angry anti-V mob to the gala entrance to create a diversion, and Erica will sneak Hobbes and Cohn in through the back.

-Morris Chestnut can’t come along because he would arouse suspicion

-They will not be telling Chad. The fewer people know, the better.

-And they’ll be using disposable cell phones.

Both briefing sessions end, and it’s ON.

THE MOTHERSHIP

Up on the ship, Thomas tells Anna the whole Concordia plan is right on schedule, and we learn a little more of what’s going on. Concordia is set up so that the mothership can dock with it…

Luckily Thomas explains this to Anna as if she’s never heard of it before, or she has that memory disorder like that guy in Memento

My favorite part of the discussion is when Anna says, “Once the ship docks, our soldiers can begin collecting their women.” That’s a phrase you never wanna hear, “soldiers collecting the women.” Yikes.

Wait, what soldiers? I just remembered that last season they mentioned Anna has a huge-ass fleet of V ships approaching Earth. Maybe the soldiers are from that? Guhhhhhhh.

Anna gloats that while we pitiful humans think that, in Concordia, we’re building our future, but we’re REALLY digging our own graves. Beyond that, it’s still a mystery as to what this Concordia does. So let’s roll.

ACT THREE

ERICA’S HOUE

Joe is hanging out in Erica’s living room. It looks like the ruse to keep Tyler is becoming something more. He looks over an old photo album and chuckles over the memories.

Like the memory of…the eyeless baby!

Then Erica comes downstairs, all dolled up for the gala. As he looks her over, she loads up her backup gun and stows it in her thigh holster.

She notices his look and thanks him for noticing. They share a moment. She tells him Tyler is staying with Lisa. Erica says, “At least I know she won’t let anything happen to him.”

Because the production team didn’t have time to make a t-shirt that said, “I AM A WORRIED MOTHER!!!!!!”

As she goes to leave, Joe playfully takes her pinky finger and asks her to be careful. Another moment. She offers to let him stay on the couch tonight. You know, since he has such a long drive back. Riiiiiight. (Your child in peril is a huge aphrodisiac).

THE MOTHERSHIP

Anna is making her pre-gala preparations as well…

Morris Chestnut has been brought onboard, and has been allowed to hold Baby John Belushi.

The catch is, Anna’s worried about the gala and wants him to find out if there are any threats. Morris Chestnut plays dumb, but that isn’t good enough. He needs to try a little harder

To emphasize the point, Anna reminds him his baby is sick, and uses some of her Bliss to soothe the kid’s illness. This is apparently the only cure to whatever ails his kid. So maybe killing Anna isn’t as simple as he thought.

Or maybe the illness is fake and she’s manipulating him, either way.

Seriously, that’s not a baby. It’s a small man.

AT THE GALA

Finally, it’s time for the ceremony. The guests are showing up, in formalwear, and submit to the metal detectors.

Among the guests is Chad. He’s cooling his heels when that reporter from earlier, Kerry, taps him on the shoulder. She wheedled her way onto the guest list and now she wants to meet Anna. Chad seems wary, but goes with it.

OUTSIDE THE GALA

Outside, Hobbes and Cohn show up.

Hobbes got an all-black tux, in case you weren’t aware of the dark side of his nature

And Jack waits with his crowd of protesters for the moment to strike.

BACK INSIDE THE GALA

And then Kerry gets her meeting with Anna. She gets right to the point—nobody just shows up giving gifts for no reason. Anna has to have an angle. What is it?

Anna deflects, saying that Kerry is applying human nature to another species, that the V’s are perfectly happy to give shit away for free, and walks off. But Marcus is suspicious of this new reporter on the scene.

Elsewhere, Erica texts Jack the signal to begin his protest.

OUTSIDE AGAIN

Jack receives the text, and mobilizes his angry followers. Soon police meet them but it doesn’t get violent.

BACK INSIDE

Bolling gets word of the disruption and runs to tell Erica, who feigns surprise. Bolling doesn’t seem suspicious of Erica, which is odd considering he’s been investigating her connection with Jack the past couple days. Oh well.

Erica tells Bolling to handle it, then texts Cohn and Hobbes to meet her.

OUTSIDE

Hobbes and Cohn slip past the mob and make it to the back entrance to the gala center. Erica opens the door and lets them in.

MORRIS CHESTNUT’S HOTEL ROOM

Meanwhile, Morris Chestnut, again in a hotel somewhere, watches Chad report on the gala. The event is about to start.

MC looks, of course, conflicted. Does he betray his buds and tip off Anna, or does he let them kill the only person who can cure his man-baby?

BACK AT THE GALA CENTER

Erica returns to the main gala room. Nobody noticed the event’s head of security disappeared for a few minutes, which is nice. But Anna is nowhere in sight.

Hobbes and Cohn have made their way to a balcony that directly overlooks the dais where Anna is supposed to speak. They set up their rifle and spotter scope. Soon Anna appears with her entourage in tow. Hobbes draws a bead on her but can’t get a clear shot.

MORRIS CHESTNUT’S HOTEL ROOM

And Morris Chestnut cracks. He opens his phone and looks at a photo of her daughter.

Oh well. Did you think they were going to kill Anna? Really?

THE GALA CENTER

Just as Anna is about to walk up to the podium, and thus give Hobbes a clear shot, one of her men stops Marcus to give him the tip-off. Erica watches helplessly as Marcus quickly grabs Anna and tells her not to go up onstage. Morris Chestnut has come through for them.

But the show must go on, because people would freak out if Anna canceled when she was already at the ceremony. So instead, Marcus will take her place.

Please make him be a terrible public speaker and get totally flustered. You’re not going in that direction? Wait, this show isn’t a comedy?

Marcus goes up onstage in her place. Nobody seems weirded out that Anna isn’t onstage despite her being ten feet away from it, and Marcus not giving any reason whatsoever for cancellation.

Anyway, yeah, Erica and Cohn get on their phones and try to figure out what to do next. Erica wants to abort, but Cohn wants to salvage a victory out of the operation and at least kill Marcus.

Erica wavers. Is it worth it? Hobbes and Cohn impress upon her that she has to suck it up and do what’s necessary to win the war, and she gives the green light. Kill the mofo.

But wait! Onstage, Marcus is preparing to introduce a special guest…the first ever…

Human to pilot a V ship! Oh, snap!

Erica REALLY wants to abort, but even now, the guys hold firm. Hobbes is a pretty good shot. He’s a pro. After all, Halliburton’s had him assassinate TONS of democratically elected politicians, all over the developing world.

Onstage, Marcus gushes over Tyler and goes so far as to angle Tyler in front of him as a human shield.

Erica wavers again…they’re taking the shot regardless of what she wants. She pleads with Hobbes to aim true. There’s nothing she can do…

Or maybe there wouldn’t be anything MOST people could do. Erica Evans doesn’t roll that way. She breaks into action and hurries up to the stage, calling out Tyler’s name. Marcus has to roll with this, so he introduces Erica: the pilot and his mother, the head of the Fifth Column task force. A perfect example of what Concordia is all about.

Erica embraces Tyler, and in so doing edges him away to give Hobbes a clear shot. She whispers to Tyler not to look. And,

Game over. Blammo.

OUTSIDE

Chaos ensues. The gala guests run willy-nilly through the plaza outside. Hobbes and Cohn use the confusion to slip away.

The V’s quickly load Marcus onto a shuttle.

Across the way, Erica hugs Tyler, glad he’s OK. Anna sees this. Rage fills her eyes.

Ercia looks up and notices Anna. They lock eyes.

“I would have got away with it if it weren’t for you meddling terrorists”

Whew. That was a great sequence. Good job, V!

ACT FOUR

THE MOTHERSHIP

In the aftermath of the assassination, Thomas the engineer updates Anna on Marcus’s condition. Somehow Marcus is alive, but it isn’t clear he’ll survive.

Anna has already moved on to look for a new right-hand man. (Or is it right-tentacle man?!?!?!?! HAhahahahahaha sorry, I’m just tired and hungry and want to finish this up).

Thomas can fill the job well enough, so she promotes him on the spot. Immediately Thomas starts on his duties, updating Anna on Tyler as well. He has backed out of the pilot training. Will this be a setback for the Evil Plans?

Nope. Anna has planned for something like this. Apparently, there are others like Tyler.

Aaaaaaaaand, we’re back. If Tyler’s just one of many DNA-modified humans, THEN WHY DO THEY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HIM ONLY????

That’s the V I know.

ERICA’S HOUSE

If you’re the head of an FBI security team assigned to protect high-level individuals at a gala event, and at that event one of them gets killed, what do you think happens to you?

If you’re Erica, you GET TO GO HOME AND HANG OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY?!?!?!?

“What a craaaaaaaazy day at work I had!”

Before that, Joe and Tyler have a moment alone together. Joe takes advantage of Tyler quitting to solidify the relationship a little. He tells Ty he’s glad he backed out of pilot training, as they have a lot of catching up to do.

Tyler also bares his feelings. When he saw Marcus’s blood hit Erica, all he could think was, he didn’t want to lose his family.

(So an eighteen-year-old can be dumb enough to tape himself wrecking a church and then leave the video at the scene, while also being capable of instantly processing something that would give most people PTSD?)

And finally, Erica brings out this morning’s birthday cake, and the three of them celebrate being a family again.

One question: do you think the night JFK got assassinated, his Secret Service guys got to go home and have some cake?

THE FBI BUILDING

Deputy Director Kendrick is a little more pissed off about his department blowing the security assignment, at least. He finds Bolling in an office watching a video on the computer.

Kendrick prepares to rip Bolling a new one, but Bolling stops him with a theory he’s cooked up. Apparently, this whole disaster went exactly as Bolling planned. Bolling wanted to use the gala to set a trap for Erica, and trap her he did.

He shows Kendrick a photo of Erica meeting with Jack. It was taken that morning, when Erica was SUPPOSED to be with Tyler. Busted! Bolling is a genius.

“Yeah, maybe I could have actually protected a high-level V like Marcus, but the part of my plan I care about fucking WORKED!”

Bolling’s figured out the assassination was well planned and Erica was most likely involved. He produces a document for Kendrick. It’s a request for a formal Department of Justice investigation into Erica. (I’m actually very excited to see where this goes).

ST. JOSEPHINE’S

Back at the church, Jack’s crusty priest supervisor brings the hammer down on him for violating the Vatican’s edict not to stir up trouble. It’s the end of Jack as a priest. (And V taught me a new word this week: “Laicized,” or, the defrocking of a priest. Cool!).

For his part, Jack stands tall. He shows no signs of remorse, at least not outwardly, and probably not inwardly, either.

THE MOTHERSHIP

One more Morris Chestnut-related scene this week. He’s back up on the ship holding his tiny man baby girl. Anna confronts him for knowing more about the assassination than he let on, and he comes clean. He throws himself at her feet, asking for mercy. He will do anything she asks if she spares his kid. He will give up anyone. And to top it off, he refers to her as his queen.

FIFTH COLUMN HQ

And we end up on Hobbes and Cohn, who share a drink commiserate about being betrayed. To make matters worse, they hear on the news that Marcus isn’t even totally dead. Tonight sucked.

Hobbes has been doing some thinking. They deliberately kept their assassination plan quiet. Only five people knew—him, Cohn, Erica, Jack, and Morris Chestnut. Only two of them could ALSO have contacted Anna to tip her off. Wasn’t Erica. Must be the lizard.

And we’re out.

EPILOGUE

You can probably tell from the tone of the latter part of my recap, but I liked this episode.

Well, I liked SOME of my episode.

Well, maybe like is too strong a word. How about, “I didn’t roll my eyes at everything that was in the show this week.” Hey, I like a good action sequence, and I gotta say, they nailed it. Let’s hope this is a sign of good things to come.

See you next week for more incomprehensible plans and ludicrous plot holes! As always, be sure to properly suspend your disbelief before watching V in order to avoid injury.

Thanks for reading!