Start spreading the news, scaly skinned lizards are hitting the streets of Manhattan. What? No this isn’t a recap for Real Housewives of New York, we’re talking about V so make the jump and see what shenanigans space lizards can get into.
Our episode of V starts with PICK SURES! Sorry, that’s always how I picture Mariah Carey saying that word, and it’s always followed by her saying, “Nicky, hold my purse.” Sorry again, that part doesn’t have any thing to do with this show. My god, 27 words in and I’m already babbling. Well folks looks like we’re well on our way to another tight as a drum 6,500 word recap on a show that’s 44 minutes long minus commercials.
Anyway, Anna and the rest of the V’s are getting their pictures taken. Why? Good question, and lucky for us Bailey 2.0 is on hand to start spoon feeding us exposition right from the get go. Last episode the V’s got diplomatic recognition, which means they can get visas now and wander around the good old USofA
stealing our jobs, seeing the sights.
My god, it’s not just humans; ID’s make all species look like crap
Bailey 2.0 finishes up his newscast as the V’s get ready to go into New York to buy tee-shirts and see The Lion King. Bailey’s fairly hot co-worker takes this time to point out he made this all possible. This little fact gives Bailey 2.0 the same sort of queasy face everyone comes back with after a tour of the hot dog plant. Hey, buck up little man; you can’t get some serious ratings without breaking a few eggs. You’re selling out humanity. Oprah has to find people who got their faces ripped off by monkeys. Cheer up Bailey 2.0, as of right now you’re holding the moral high ground.
Oh my god, they use lips and assholes
Anna comes out, waves her passport at everybody, and then hops in an elevator so she can give everybody the stink eye as she zips up, up and away, and it gives Bailey 2.0 one last chance to make his hot dog plant face.
From this scene we zip over to Our Lady of Perpetual Plot Points, and hey Soap Opera Priest is hearing confession. Oh this should be juicy; I mean when you think about what people will confess to in a taxicab on HBO just imagine what they’ll spill to in a little wooden box at Church. We then get a montage of Soap Opera Priest hearing a bunch of confessions, and oh man what a complete gyp. Nobody is talking about getting a hooker, or being a hooker, or taking a hooker to breakfast in a taxicab, instead everyone has a serious case of the boohoos about the V’s messing with their faith in God. Yeah, I know, totally boring, and even Soap Opera Priest thinks so because he’s sitting there in his little booth with the same look I have on my face at weekly staff meeting. Looks like I wasn’t the only one hoping for hooker stories here.
Okay, that’s 10 Our Fathers, 5 Hail Marys, and don’t come back until you can at least make up some good sins
From our peek at job place disappointment in the most unlikely of places, we cut over to FBI Mom’s casa. She’s in the kitchen being a busy little bee with that pilfered FBI list she swiped last week. She’s a little agitated, because she
tweaking balls big time, has had a little trouble sleeping over the past few days.
High School Musical Kid wanders in just in time to hear his mom start freaking because Bailey 2.0 is on TV talking about the V’s. This scene is ultra realistic because High School Musical Kid gets that “oh crap, not the news” face that every child over the age of 12 gets when they are in the same room with a parent watching the news. It’s a perfectly deserved face too, because FBI Mom is yammering about 9/11 and how those V’s aren’t to be trusted one bit.
Seeing as she is on a roll, FBI Mom tells High School Musical Kid she doesn’t want him going into the city today. What with the V’s fanning out in search of the best falafel cart in the city, and the people protesting the V’s it’s just going to be too darn crazy. High School Musical Kid reminds her he promised to give Less Attractive Sidekick a ride into town. FBI Mom immediately caves and tells him fine, but to come straight home after that. High School Kid tells FBI Mom okay and seeing as he got kicked out of Team Lizard for rumbling with extras last episode, it’s practically the truth.
High School Musical Kid goes to duck out the door, and hey, small series time; Soap Opera Priest is standing on their front doorstep. HSMK tells his mom there’s a priest on their property. Soap Opera Priest immediately gets flustered and tries to use those newly developed fibbing skills he picked up last episode, but FBI Mom interrupts Father Pinocchio and tells her son the father is working with her. HSMK rolls his eyes and whatevers out of the scene, exit stage right.
Soap Opera Priest explains to FBI Mom that he’s feeling pretty helpless at work, what with everyone wanting to talk about the V’s, and him not being able to mention the V’s are a bunch of evil space lizards. FBI Mom doesn’t have too much to say to cheer him up, but she willing to let him go through and check names on their top secret FBI list against the FBI database that FBI Mom is accessing from her home computer, to see if they can match any of those names to the people they saw at the big secret meeting back at that warehouse in the pilot.
Actually it’s cool that Soap Opera Priest stopped by, because FBI Mom got called into work. It turns out somebody, okay, the screenwriter, made a death threat against the V’s and FBI Mom’s boss wants her to actually come into work and do her job. Soap Opera Priest thinks this is a little f-ed up, but FBI Mom reminds him that if the V’s get hurt they look like the good guys which is bad. She then exits stage right and Soap Opera Priest starts pawing through those big stacks of paper she was laying out earlier.
We cut over to The Steven Seagal Enabler who is taking his sweet baboo, Oblivia into work. Oblivia asks the SSE why he’s taking her to work this morning when he usually doesn’t roll out of bed until noon. The Steven Seagal Enabler reluctantly admits he’s worried about the V’s hitting the streets, and what could happen with all the protestors. Oblivia doesn’t see what the big deal is, because once everybody figures out the V’s aren’t going to hurt them, then every one can live in peace in harmony. The Steven Seagal Enabler gives Oblivia a look like he’s trying to figure out just when he started dating a dirty hippy.
Oblivia suddenly gets not so oblivious and tells the SSE that sometimes he acts like he’s keeping secrets from her. This prompts The Steven Seagal Enabler to slip into “but I wuv you soooooo much I could never keep a secret from you” mode, which is good enough for Oblivia who slips right back into her namesake behavior and wanders into work.
Secrets? Why baby, you’re the woman I want to hatch my eggs. Err I mean have my babies?
This is a good thing, because as soon as she steps in the building a car she’s never seen before pulls up, and The Steven Seagal Enabler hops in to go off god knows where to do god knows what. Pay attention people, you just saw the most stable and normal relationship on this show.
We cut to inside the car where The Steven Seagal Enabler is getting a ride from his buddy Georgie. Georgie was the guy who organized the big resistance meeting in the pilot that got all the extras killed by the flying thingamajig of doom and knife wielding V’s.
Also I referred to Georgie in the pilot as chubbsy, but he doesn’t look that heavy in this episode (the fact that I recently saw myself without a shirt in the mirror also went a long, long way towards my reevaluation of an appropriate height to weight ratio too). I think the main reason I thought he was heavy was he’s sporting one of those close cropped beards favored by people trying to cover up jowls. So from now on he’ll be Chubby Beard.
Anyway, The Steven Seagal Enabler lets Chubby Beard know he’s all set to get back in the resistance game, and is going to try to hook up with other good guy V’s. Of course The Steven Seagal Enabler isn’t thinking small, because he tells Chubby Beard that he wants to get in touch with the ultimate good guy V, a guy called John May. Chubby Beard calls shenanigans on this and says John May is a myth, like Steven Hawking. The SSE is like, uh-uh and tells him he’s totally real, and runs the badest badass good guy V group called The Fifth Column, and The Steven Seagal Enabler is totally going to get him on their side.
We then skip over to the V mothership, where Anna’s Creepy Gopher Guy is walking down the hall with a V doctor. At least I’m guessing he’s a doctor. He’s wearing a white coat and it’s after Labor Day, that’s the only explanation I can come up with. Anyway, it turns out I’m right, because the V doctor is getting Creepy Gopher Guy up to speed on Denthead’s medical condition.
Is it just me or would Creepy Gopher Guy’s face crack if he ever smiled?
It turns out Denthead is going to be okay, well except for the big honking dent in his noggin from when FBI Mom laid into him with that iron bar. Creepy Gopher Guy is happy to hear that. He’s not happy at all to hear that Denthead might not remember what happened that night in the warehouse. You can tell Creepy Gopher Guy packs some clout on the mothership, because instead of just writing Denthead a referral to a specialist with a four week waiting period for new patients, V doc tells Creepy Gopher Guy that he will get right on digging up those repressed plot points.
It’s a good thing too, because Denthead wakes up and has no idea where he is, or what happened to him. V Doc fills Denthead in on the appropriate details. Somebody tried to kill Denthead, twice. Denthead tells V Doc he needs to help him remember what happened. Well at least everybody is on the same page on this.
One of the most unflattering camera angles in the history of cinematography
Are we done with the V’s yet? Not quite. Anna is watching Bailey 2.0 on her TV. Okay, it’s an image of a screen appearing in mid air, but you just know she can get QVC on eight channels just like a regular TV. Anyway, Bailey is spouting some more exposition for us viewer types…err I mean he’s doing another hard hitting news story. It turns out there are still all sorts of people who don’t like or trust the V’s, and their leader is this woman who is the widow of a pilot who’s plane crashed when the V’s arrived. Not only is the woman a widow, but she’s been on a six day hunger strike. Hey do you know what Nicole Richie calls a six day hunger strike? Saturday. Heyoooooo! Thanks I’ll be here all week. Anyway, Anna tells her Creepy Gopher Dude to get her every bit of information he can on this widow.
High School Musical Kid drops off Less Attractive Sidekick down at the V clubhouse. Less Attractive Sidekick makes some sad noises about how he can’t help but feel it’s all his fault High School Musical Kid got kicked off Team Lizard for fighting. Yes, Less Attractive Sidekick, it was your provocative pamphlet distributing that drove those street toughs into a frenzy. Nice try working your way into the plot, but I’m not buying it. And it turns out neither is High School Musical Kid, only he’s much nicer about it then I am. He tells Less Attractive Sidekick not to worry; he’ll figure a way to get back on Team Lizard himself. I will now resist making a cheap joke about High School Musical Kid and thinking, and whoops, looks like I failed.
High School Musical Kid takes a little time to make some googly eyes at Space Alien Bait who just happens to be hanging out in front of the V clubhouse and then he zips off on his motorcycle. This is a good thing for him, because FBI Mom’s car pulls up right as he pulls away, and she heads into the clubhouse to get her special agent on.
FBI Mom’s boss is on hand to get her and the audience up to speed with what’s shaking at the V clubhouse. It turns out the FBI got information that some unknown human badass is going to try to plug one of the V’s and they’ve been called in to work with the V’s to keep this from happening.
Oh and it gets better because each of the G-men (or lady in the case of FBI Mom) will be assigned a V partner for the day. When FBI Mom hears this news she makes the same face I do when I go to somebody’s house and they tell me we’re having tofu, and she takes this time to tell her boss that she doesn’t need a partner. Her boss tells her everybody is getting a partner and tofu tastes just like meat so she should stop being a baby about it. FBI Mom’s new V buddy tries to be friendly, but he’s stiff and creepy, like somebody at work who just got back from a real expensive marketing seminar. FBI Mom isn’t buying, and she tells Tofu Boy that she needs to see the V’s surveillance monitors, that just happen to be in the super restricted part of the V’s clubhouse, and they exit stage right.
When they get back to the security room, even FBI Mom thinks it’s a dive. The V’s tell her it was like this when they moved it. Yeah, keep saying that guys, you’re still not getting your security deposit back. Anyway, FBI Mom actually acts like a real kickass FBI agent on camera for a change, and tells the V’s how their security camera setup sucks donkey balls, but also how to fix it. FBI Mom also notices some V’s going in this room across the hall, which has a fancy high tech lock on it that you can tell the prop guys put a lot of work into, but this doesn’t have anything to do with flexing her G-Man muscles, so she files this info away for later.
We finally get away from the V’s for awhile, and cut back to Soap Opera Priest who is actually working his way through the FBI list and not checking out FBI Mom’s medicine cabinet (oh like you’ve never done that!). We just happen to catch him at the right time, because he plugs Chubby Beard’s name into the FBI computer and some very important facts come up from when Chubby Beard called the FBI about the V’s. He said they were reptiles; they were cloning human skin, and whooo! Party at my house baby! Wow, that sounds like our Chubby Beard. Soap Opera Priest digs through some files, and finds Chubby Beard’s, annnnnnd, wow he’s had that beard for awhile and he’s not letting go. Soap Opera Priest recognizes him as the guy who gave everyone the big pep talk at the warehouse and calls FBI Mom and leaves a message on her cell phone telling her he thinks he might have found somebody.
We cut back to The Steven Seagal Enabler and Chubby Beard who are still driving around. The Steven Seagal Enabler says he’s going to meet his oldest best V buddy, Cyrus and sign him up for Team Good Guys. He asks Chubby Beard if he wants to tag along, but Chubby takes a pass. This is mainly because every time Chubby Beard organizes a resistance shindig, the V’s show up and kill everyone before they can tell CB how good his rumaki is. Chubby Beard says he won’t be recruiting for awhile, but he’s still up for fighting the V menace. That’s good to hear, because it’s the only reason you’re on the show numbnuts.
They pull up in front of the address The Steven Seagal Enabler got on that little card last week. It looks like his old buddy Cyrus is opening up a coffee shop. In 2009? Well there’s an untapped market. Anyway, The Steven Seagal Enabler heads into The Central Perk and his buddy is off camera telling him the place is closed. The SSE makes some wiseass comment and when his buddy comes out front we get to see him for the first time. Was I the only one who was disappointed this guy wasn’t Gunther from Friends?
I’m not saying he was a lizard, but it would explain a lot of things
We go back to the mothership, and it looks like Anna isn’t going to just stand in her room eating bonbons and watching TV all day; she’s having a staff meeting with all the other mothership commanders. Anna is strictly business, she tells everyone the TSP reports will now be due on Tuesdays instead of Wednesdays, and whoever has been taking other people’s yogurt out of the break room frig needs to stop doing so right away, because some V supreme commanders are very serious about losing weight and that fucking yogurt is the only thing in their life resembling an actual dessert. Oh, and she mentions that everyone needs to pay very close attention to public opinion in their respective areas and make sure people keep liking them. Then the staff meeting breaks up and we find all the V commanders were holograms, and Anna legs it down to the break room because that strawberry banana yogurt does sound tasty right now.
We go back to V Doc and Denthead, and V Doc is giving Denthead all the juicy details of what happened down on Earth. Denthead was an undercover agent on earth, he called in an emergency call on human monkeyshines, and somebody whacked his head open with a metal bar and then shoved it through his chest. Oh and he tells Denthead the reason he can’t remember anything is because Denthead is suffering from post traumatic amnesia, a perfectly respected medical condition the screenwriter came up with at 2:00 in the morning.
Denthead doesn’t get pissed until he figures out that whoever treated him like their own personal piÃ±ata saw his lizard face, and then he’s totally on board with V Doc getting him to remember what the hell happened to him, so he can kill the dirty piÃ±ata whacker. Hmmm, I’m going to go out on a limb and say Denthead is a lights off guy when it comes to making the sweet, sweet love.
Anna is going over all the dirt that Creepy Gopher Guy dug up on the hungry widow and Anna decides this is a good time to tell him that public opinion is crucial to the V’s plans, which is kind of what Bailey 2.0 told her in the last episode. Oh Anna, you’re taking strategy tips from Scott Wolf? The guy’s Imdb includes credits for Lady and the Tramp 2: Scamp’s Adventures, Love Thy Neighbor, and Kate Plus One, I’m now increasing humanity’s chances for survival from “doomed, doomed I tell you”, to “as long as FBI Mom and Soap Opera Priest aren’t the brains of the outfit, we might have a chance.”
Soap Opera Priest has legged it out of FBI Mom’s kitchen and has gone to the address listed on the FBI file for Chubby Beard. He knocks and nobody answers, so Soap Opera Priest just goes inside. Huh, what, who? The door was unlocked so he just goes inside? Do people do that? I thought that was strictly a raccoon trait.
Hellllloooooo? Just here to administer to your spiritual needs, and maybe rifle through your garbage
Soap Opera Priest goes inside and Chubby Beard still isn’t around. The good news for this week’s plot is a woman wanders into the room, who is either Chubby Beard’s sister, or some woman who lives under his staircase and comes out to tell strange priests Chubby Beard’s life story whenever they wander into the house. Anyway, we find out that Chubby Beard’s whole family got killed and he blamed space aliens for it, so everyone thinks he’s a fruitloop.
Although, if she lives under the staircase, this haircut suddenly makes loads of sense
Soap Opera Priest asks the woman to tell Chubby Beard he stopped by and to tell her he at the warehouse the other night, and the rumaki was to die for. The woman seems a little confused by this, so Soap Opera Priest leaves his card. The woman is shocked to find out priests have business cards. Yes they do strange under the stairs lady, and if you don’t use your dead bolt they wander into your home too.
Back over at the Central Perk, The old buddy is pouring shots and The Steven Seagal Enabler is going on about how cool it was fighting the bad V’s back in the day. Then The Steven Seagal Enabler makes his big pitch for Team Good Guys and Old Buddy says they should talk about this in the kitchen. The only problem is when The SSE gets back there; Old Buddy has pulled a gun on him. Oh shazzbat!
Yeah it turns out Old Buddy is not so buddyish anymore. In fact he’s gone over to the bad guys, and if he turns in enough good guy V’s he’ll be “reconnected” and get to experience “the bliss.” Not So Old Buddy asks The Steven Seagal Enabler if he remembers how good the bliss was when Anna used to pass it out, and The SSE tells him he’s nothing but a junkie, and if he wants yogurt that bad The Steven Seagal Enabler will drive him down to Costco and buy him a case right now. Not So Old Buddy tells SSE it’s not the same as break room yogurt, which is too bad for him because The Steven Seagal Enabler pulls out the whoopass can and takes his gun away from him. The last we see of these two, The Steven Seagal Enabler is sitting on top of Not So Old Buddy and telling him that you have to be alive to be reconnected.
You don’t understand man, I need that yogurt for part of a balanced diet!
From that brief glimpse into the sordid underbelly of dairy products, we cut over to FBI Mom and she is making up for being such an on camera zero the last few weeks, because she is G-maning up a storm tonight. She takes her V buddy up on the roof and spots that a guard is out of position, then goes downstairs and finds out he’s been knocked out and somebody took his V jacket, warns everybody their shooter is dressed as a V and then catches the guy right before he drills Creepy Gopher Dude. Pretty kickass, huh? If J. Edgar Hoover were alive right now, he’d be so proud, and wearing a dress, so let’s stop talking about this.
And remember, your safe word is Rumpelstiltskin
We cut over to High School Musical Kid and Less Attractive Sidekick who are going to a pizza place. Only it’s not for lunch, because Space Alien Bait just happens to be sitting in the corner. Less Attractive Sidekick, having fulfilled his sidekicking duties exits stage left, which gives High School Musical Kid and Space Alien Bait the chance to make serious googly eyes at each other. Well first, Space Alien Bait tells High School Musical Kid he’s back on Team Lizard, but mainly they just flash their hormones at each other.
Yo Sal! How come there ain’t no lizards up on the wall?
Back at the Visitor Center, FBI Mom’s boss makes her turn their almost shooter over to the V’s, and then she gets left alone, which is a perfect chance for her to get her Nancy Drew on. FBI Mom presses the buttons on that lock she saw earlier, and presto, she’s in the V’s top secret room.
Oh and she hit the jackpot. Unlike that other room the V’s showed her that had like two black and white monitors from the 70′s, this one is full of those cool floating TV screens like Anna watches Bailey 2.0 on, and it takes her awhile but FBI Mom figures out the big secret. Those crappy ass V jackets they’ve been handing out like candy? They have cameras in them. This is big news, and FBI Mom ducks out of the room before she gets caught, which is why she just misses seeing High School Musical Kid getting helped into his V jacket by Space Alien Bait. Wow, if only FBI Mom had watched more TV she would have been a better parent. This important life lesson was brought to you by ABC.
We cut back to Anna, who is up in her room practicing faking human emotions. She’s really good, and it is a very creepy in a cool way scene. It’s also the routine I picture Anderson Cooper performing every morning before he goes to work. Creepy Gopher Guy shows up and says “she’s here,” then they exit stage left.
It was strawberry and banana, and now it’s gone
The widow shows up to tell everyone on TV the V’s are bad news, but Anna kind of bushwhacks her and asks if she can meet with the woman in private. The Widow is pretty cranky because she hasn’t eaten in about a week and the V’s did kill her husband so she wants to know why she should talk about anything with Anna. This is a perfect chance for Anna to trot out those fake emotions and they are pretty good, well that, and the script says they go and have a talk on page 34.
FBI Mom is all set to call it a day, when her boss tells her somebody wants to talk with her. It’s Creepy Gopher Guy, and he thanks FBI Mom and is super duper friendly. Maybe it’s just me, but he’s either trying to work his fake emotions on FBI Mom, or he’s hitting on her. Either way, Ewwwwww!
To answer our own earlier question, yes, yes it will.
Meanwhile, up on the mothership V Doc has made this Matrix type virtual world to help Denthead get his memory back, and it works out pretty well. Denthead remembers there was another bad V working at the FBI, he really didn’t like humans, his human wife has some questionable personal hygiene habits, and FBI Mom tried to kill him, twice. Wow, I know virtual worlds aren’t a covered procedure under most health insurance plans, but damn they do seem to do the job.
Soap Opera Priest after a busy day of secret caballing has headed back to Our Lady of Perpetual Plot Points to do some vaguely Catholic things on camera. This is why he is standing over by the devotional candles when Chubby Beard shows up and puts a gun to the back of his head Chubby Beard wants to know who Soap Opera Priest is and why he’s asking around about him. Well that is until CB recognizes Soap Opera Priest from the big warehouse rave. Then he wants to know why Soap Opera Priest wants to talk with him. Soap Opera Priest explains that he and FBI Mom are organizing a resistance and they want him to join up. Chubby Beard thinks this is a bad idea because the V’s always show up and ruin the party whenever the humans try to get together. Soap Opera Priest is able to get him to change his mind by pointing out there is strength in numbers, and it would be a crime to deny the world his rumaki. So Chubby Beard signs on as Team Human’s first recruit. Personally I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he finds out about the secret meetings in the FBI hallways.
We cut back to Denthead and V Doc up on the mothership. Denthead wants to be sent back to Earth so he can kill FBI Mom right a way. The only problem with this plan is V Doc tells him he can’t kill her. Denthead is curious to hear the logic behind this decision, and I’ve got to tell you, so was I. V Doc explains that FBI Mom sounds like an excellent ally.
Denthead makes an alien oh crap face because he realizes V Doc is a bad guy, which makes him a good guy for us, but Denthead is still pretty pissed. Denthead takes a couple of swings at V Doc which doesn’t work out too well for him being in a Matrixy virtual computer world. When Denthead finally comes back to the real world but it’s just long enough for the V Doc to stick a needle in him, and tell him “the Fifth Column says hello,” and then Denthead drops dead. Or goes to sleep, for all I know they’ll put him back in one of those egg thingamajigs next week and he’ll be raring to go; the important thing for this week is that he’s out of the picture.
We cut back to the front of the V’s clubhouse, where Hungry Widow is all set to make her speech. Everyone is expecting her to come on and hate on the V’s, but she tells them about her heart to heart with Anna and how it totally changed her mind. She doesn’t mention the four yogurts Anna let her have, or that they had that special Jamie Lee Curtis bacteria that makes pooping fun again. Anna then comes up and gives everyone the standard peace is great speech, and Bailey 2.0 doesn’t club us over the head with it, but I’m guessing the V’s public opinion numbers will be going up again.
From the V clubhouse, we head over to Central Perk, where Creepy Gopher Guy has shown up with a bunch of his well dressed goons. When they go inside all that is left of Not So Old Buddy is a human shaped layer of dust on the floor. Oh, and a graffiti tag from the Fifth Column which pisses off Creepy Gopher Guy to no end. Dude, chill out. As for the tag, that’s just the way kids express themselves these days, and as for Not So Old Buddy; hit that with a dustbuster and you’ll never be able to tell he was there.
We cut over to FBI Mom’s house, only she isn’t there. This is excellent news for High School Musical Kid, because he’s brought Space Alien Bait home for a little hubba hubba, nudge, nudge, say no more, or in his case, getting to first base. He and Space Alien Bait barely have time to get in their first lip lock of the night, when FBI Mom rolls through the front door. High School Musical Kid promptly poops a brick and admits to Space Alien Bait, that his momma ain’t down with the OSP (Outer Space P…well you get the idea).
This is way cooler then when I kiss my own hand
High School Musical Kid heads off to the hallway to intercept his mom and keep his little space hottie on the DL. His plan for pulling this off involves telling him mom that he’s just been home all day, standing in the hallway, not wearing a shirt. FBI Mom must have used up all her deductive powers earlier today, because she’s only slightly suspicious at this point.
A little eye candy for the Twilight demographic
The big noise coming from High School Musical Kid’s room is a big enough clue for FBI Mom to investigate, and when she comes inside she finds Space Alien Bait stripped down to her bra and panties. FBI Mom doesn’t completely freak because High School Musical Kid isn’t on the pot or French kissing a lizard (well an obvious one), so she tells Space Alien Bait to put her clothes back on and High School Musical Kid that they will talk later. FBI Mom exits stage left and Space Alien Bait explains that she figured his mom would have less of a problem with her undies then her V suit. They have a little giggle and get ready to tongue wrestle again.
And a little eye candy for guys of all ages living in their parents basements
Up on the mothership Anna is watching Bailey 2.0 on TV. Jesus, again? I’m sorry but for an advanced species their cable plan sucks. I mean she’s got to have at least one channel with Law and Order on it. Anyway Bailey basically goes over everything that happened tonight, which is kind of a waste of time, but then again this is the only way they can keep in this week’s episode. Anna takes time out of this exposition to thank a V guy standing in front of her desk. It’s the guy who shot at Creepy Gopher Dude earlier tonight. Yep, the whole thing was a set up, big shocker, huh? Anyway, he takes off and Anna finally gets a chance to eat her yogurt in peace.
We cut back to FBI Mom and she’s hooked up with Soap Opera Priest about their respective days. FBI Mom is pretty impressed with Soap Opera Priest, and who wouldn’t be? So far in the show, the guy’s main job has been to repeatedly make “I just soiled myself” facial expressions, and now thanks to him they’ve found more
whackjobs, plucky fighters to battle back against the V’s. It’s just then that Chubby Beard and The Steven Seagal Enabler roll on in. There are intros, and then everyone promises how they are going to whoop up on the V’s, oh and then they have rumaki.
Finally we get a quick scene of Anna walking down a hallway and running into Space Alien Bait. Space Alien Bait tells Anna that High School Musical Kid is “the one” and Anna thinks this is good news, and let’s slip that Space Alien Bait is her daughter. The End.
Okay, I know I’ve been ripping on this show for about 18,000 words now, but this week’s episode felt a little better. Now I didn’t say great, or good, but better. There are some kinds of cool things gradually peeking out that make me curious to see what happens.
The Fifth Column is kind of a cool idea, if for no other reason then it’s gotten The Steven Seagal Enabler to stop moping about his relationship with Oblivia, and Not So Buddy turning traitor kept everything from being completely black and white, which always works in my book.
I liked the fake assassination attempt on Creepy Gopher Guy. Mainly because I couldn’t figure out if Creepy Gopher Guy was in on it. If Anna set up a thing where he might have gotten killed that would make her a lot more evil, and the whole V society even more creepy and paranoid, which is always fun in my book.
I’m curious to find out more about “being connected” and “the bliss.” Shoot, I think I’ve already mentioned I think it’s more fun to watch the V’s then the humans at this point.
“My wife, Erica, used to brush her hair in the kitchen. Who does that?” Great funny line from Denthead, and it was nice to finally see some humor on this show.
So what do you guys think, is this show getting better or are my standards dropping through the basement?
Thanks for reading and we’ll talk again next week.