Vampire Diaries Recap: Everyone Dies

Hey you guys! As you know, Vampire Diaries came on last night and it was…

Alright, don’t get me wrong – I LOVED the episode. But nothing really happened plot-wise until the very end. I only loved it mostly because I have this weird, misplaced, bloodthirsty need for semi-senseless violence, and VD was chock full of all of that last night. Seriously, this might not be a very long review because basically everyone bashed each other into walls, there was a séance (that was also pretty violent,) everyone died at least once, and Jeremy’s life is still the worst.

And, for some strange reason, Stefan refuses to use his secret weapon on Klaus (a.k.a dem lips.)

Oh, and everybody got put in their place.

Oh, and Caroline was basically the best this episode, but when is that ever a surprise, amiright?

Well, you know what? Seems like lots of things did happen. I was wrong. Honestly, I think my head is still turned around from American Horror Story because what the f**k was that?

Let’s get started!

o o o

Still in Chicago, everybody. Klaus and Stefan are in one of those fancy boutiques. You know the ones where the workers give wine to the men in order to make sitting on the ‘guy chair’ while the women shop more endurable. By the way Klaus is clutching that champagne bottle I’m not sure it’s working.

I was hoping for a FABULOUS ‘trying on outfits’ montage, but alas. Rebekah steps out in a slinky black dress griping about how the women nowadays dress like sluts. She says that she would get dirty looks for wearing trousers back in the day. PREACH!

Klaus makes this cute drunk face and snipes that she was part of the revolution – if it weren’t for her wearing pants none of this prostitute chic would have been possible. She ignores him and goes on to say that the music playing in the store sounds like garbage more akin to a cable car crashing. Stefan is all ‘gurl this is dance music’ and Rebekah is skeptical. I don’t blame her – it was a pretty bad song. You know, I like Rebekah. She’s a classy broad.

Klaus is bored and even more pissed off than he was two seconds ago. He only came in here to get one damn thing, those pumps in the window, and now he wants to leave. And also, he wants that necklace that is ‘lost.’ Rebekah informs him that it’s not lost; she just hasn’t seen it in ninety years. Everything this girl says is so in line with what I think. I enjoy how Rebekah and Klaus communicate, they snip at each other like real brother and sister, and it’s nice to see.

Rebekah asks Stefan if he likes the dress, and he says he does, even though it’s obvious he’s lying. We all know Stefan is a ‘plain, non-graphic/uninteresting T-shirt, jeans, and chucks girl’ kind of guy. Rebekah seems to know it too, because she says she always knows when Stefan is lying.

Klaus laughs at him, saying great job pissing off his sister and Stefan comes back with “you’re the one who took the dagger out of her.” Rebekah goes back to shop and Stefan goes for air.

Just as he reaches the door, a bus passes and we see Katherine standing across the street, beckoning for him to follow her.

o o o

Back in Mystic Falls, Damon and Elena are making chili in her kitchen for the Mystic Falls potluck thing. Yes, ANOTHER thing. So many of these things! When do people have time to go to work? Maybe they all work at the school. Damon gripes that everyone makes chili to go to potlucks, but I disagree. From my experience everyone usually brings potato salad. Or that gross jello that has fruits floating in it. Who eats that stuff?

Alaric comes down the stairs and Elena asks what time does he wants to leave, together, to that very public party where the whole town will see them arrive. Together. Alaric is all ‘you know I don’t like dem things’ and Elena does pouty face. Damon teases Elena about her chili, and they bump hips, and laugh, and Alaric does grumpy face while asking in this mean way why the hell Damon is even there.

Look, I know that they are trying to write this Elaric* relationship like a ‘familial love’ kind of thing, but it’s not coming across that way. It’s coming across as ‘that teacher who moved into his female high school student’s house, and doesn’t want other men to look at her at all, and gets hostile if they dare to’ kind of thing. There’s this weird sexual tension that bleeds into every interaction they have, and it’s distracting in a way that has you going to the next scene like ‘…I feel dirty. Why do I feel dirty…?”

Anyway, Elena says that Damon is hanging around because he think Elena is finally going to snap and Damon is all ‘you will snap.’ Elena is like ‘I’m totally fine. I hid in that horrible, hidden closet yesterday. I’m not crazy today.’ Okay, Elena. Damon says she’s in denial and she says nope. Then he gets all close, takes a hold of her necklace, and asks her why she’s still wearing it. Elena gazes up into his eyes.

Alaric watches the whole interaction with the watchful eyes of a jealous live-in boyfriend.

(*feel free to use it.)

o o o

Back in the streets of Chicago. Stefan asks Katherine what the hell she’s doing in the same town as Klaus. She enquires about the necklace that he gave Elena. Stefan tries to leave but Katherine stops him – she wants to know what the plan is. Stefan is like ‘no dice’ and Katherine tells him that he’s not the scheming type – whatever plan he has to keep Klaus from knowing where that necklace is will most likely fail. She’s probably been tuning into this whole season and has seen that every plan everyone has is really not so much a plan as it is ‘let’s go here and stand around and hope it’s enough.’ Stefan still isn’t biting. She warns him that Rebekah will ruin him so he needs to be careful. And of course Stefan ignores her – the only person in this show who usually gets everything right.

o o o

Jeremy is asleep in his bed when he wakes up to see Anna. He jumps out of his skin; which – hasn’t this been happening to him since the end of last season? Shouldn’t he be used to this by now? Anna is super happy that he can hear her – apparently she’s been trying to get in touch with him for days. She asks him what changed now, and he says that he was dreaming about her.

It’s cute how touched she is at hearing that. They stare into each other’s eyes and it’s really, really sweet until you remember that Anna is dead. Gosh, Jeremy just really does not catch any breaks ever.

Can I just say – I didn’t like Anna/Jeremy before, but now I do. And I would wouldn’t I? When she’s dead and the only way this can end is with someone walking in on Jeremy kissing what looks to be the air and he ends up in a mental hospital.

o o o

Elena opens the door to find Caroline smiling. I swear, it’s like the sun shone straight into the camera lens. Caroline is a ray of sunshine!! She’s holding a bowl and saying she comes bearing gifts and Elena hopes it’s not chili. Nope! It’s worse than chili.

Now listen, I don’t hate Bonnie but I certainly don’t love her. She’s pretty useless to me. She can’t really do any spells and the ones she DOES manage to start are either messed up or she passes out before she can finish properly. I know the writers were like Grams died because the spell was too powerful, but I blame Bonnie for that shit. Bring Jasmine Guy back, please!

Everyone hugs, and Jeremy comes down the stairs to give her a huge kiss hello, but over her shoulder he sees Anna staring at him in the mirror.

Oh, Jeremy.

Your life.

o o o

Wanna know what else this episode had? Great gay jokes. And they weren’t even offensive, just things that we were all thinking and Damon said. That was really great! Actually Damon had great lines this whole episode. I’m pretty much not even going to paraphrase them from now on.

Liz and Damon are walking together and he wraps last week’s plot line up beautifully;  “So Mayor Lockwood called your gay ex-husband to torture your vampire daughter?” Hah! Pretty much buddy. See what happens when you go to Chicago in a day. In your car. Which is impossible to do unless you have a flying Ford Anglia.

Liz is like ‘iknowright? My Tuesdays!.’ She tells him that she detained Bill in that chair in that room down in that place so he’d have the vervain out of his system. She wants Damon to Compel him to forget this ever happened. Damon asks if he can just kill him and Liz says of course not – he’s Caroline’s dad. Damon doesn’t care – a douchebag is a douchebag. Here here!

Liz: Just because you and I are on okay terms doesn’t mean I’m such a big advocate of your lifestyle.

Damon: Is that what you told him when you two got divorced?

Zinga!

So, that room? In the basement of the jail. Did anyone else find that strange?

Downstairs, Daddy Forbes is bound to the chair, duct tape over his mouth. Damon peels it off slowly and Daddy Forbes asks Liz why she brought another vampire into this, to which Liz replies it’s all for the best.

Damon: So Bill! I hear you’re all into the whole ‘daddy-daughter vampire torture’ thing.

Bill says he was just trying to help and Damon says the last person who needs help is Caroline. He bites Bill to make sure he’s vervain free and once that’s proven he goes to Compel him. But asks one question first – what made him think he could torture the vampire instincts out of Caroline? Bill says that the mind is a powerful thing; it can trained and retrained to learn new conditions. Damon calls bull and Compels him to leave town immediately and that the last thing he will remember is taking Caroline back to school shopping.

Lolz. School.

o o o

Back at Gloria’s, Klaus and Rebekah are chilling out while Gloria holds her hand over a big book and silently chants. Stefan asks what’s the happs and Klaus says Gloria is failing at finding the necklace. Gloria snipes that it’s hard to find something when you have nothing to go on and Rebekah volunteers to be used – she did wear the thing for about 1000 years. Gloria takes her hand and starts to search again.

In the Gilbert kitchen Bonnie is complaining about the normal side of her ‘family’ while Elena is making more chili. Caroline shuts Bonnie’s whining mouth by saying she wishes she had a normal family that didn’t torture her in dungeons or just try to kill her all the time. She asks Elena when she learned how to cook and Elena says that Damon helped a little. Bonnie and Caroline make great WTF faces and ask since when did she and Damon start cooking together. Elena is about to lie her face off about Damon just being a friend when her necklace starts to burn against her chest.

She takes it off and Caroline says it’s a sign that Elena shouldn’t be wearing it, especially if she’s going to be cooking without the other Salvatore brother. HAHHA.

Bonnie asks to see the necklace, but when she touches it, it sparks.

Back at Gloria’s, she lets go of Rebekah and says she’s found it. Rebekah asks where it’s at, but Gloria says it doesn’t work like that – she needs to dive back in for the details. Klaus says ‘dive, bitch’ and Gloria tells him that he’s “harshin her juju” (stealing it) and needs time and, more importantly, space.  Klaus says they can wait but she tells him he needs to get out.

Klaus starts getting angry, but the Stefan comes over to rub his back and whisper in his ear to calm down. They can go out to eat while Gloria does her thing. He even gives Klaus the choice to pick who they eat. Klaus is pacified. Awww, these two!

o o o

At party #3476 Caroline, Elena, and Bonnie sit away from the crowd. Bonnie pulls out a massive grimoire (why didn’t you guys just stay home to do this?) and Elena hands over the necklace. While Bonnie does her thing, Caroline asks Elena if she’s switching Slavatores. HAHAHAHAHA! AHA! Yes. Yes she is Caroline. Elena is all ‘whaaaat? No? Chili? I don’t even know- What?‘

Caroline says that she worries about Elena every day, and really wants to know what the deal is with Damon. Elena says there is no deal – they’ve both been equally invested in Apparating  all over the U.S. to find Stefan. Caroline says that means nothing – if her terrible, terrible father, who she loves dearly, can’t change her there is no way in hell Elena is going to be able to change Damon. Elena asks why they are even talking about this but then the necklace starts to float in the air by itself.

They ask Bonnie what it is that she’s doing and Bonnie says it isn’t her – the necklace has its own magic.

I wonder what happens if you open it. Do you think it’s like a Pensive? Do you think a tiny witch will rise out and tell everyone what needs to be known?

Back at the tables, Damon is scoffing over all the chili present. He turns to Alaric and tells him that these parties are all about having secret council meetings. (Why can’t they meet up when there isn’t a party? Isn’t there less chance of anyone walking in or overhearing?)

Alaric doesn’t care! He’s too busy being stuck in the 80’s! And he’s also about to start a fight in public over the student every already thinks he’s sleeping with! (Again why didn’t he wait until they were in private?) He tells Damon he needs to “take a beat” when it comes to Elena. I start, for some reason, singing that song. You know the one by Janet Jackson. Nasty, nasty boys. So, yeah, in my head, this whole scene had that song playing in the background. Damon is all ‘what do you mean?’ and Alaric says that whatever they have going on is a bad idea. Damon is like ‘last time I checked you were just ‘that grown, yet still ruggedly attractive, man who was living with Elena and not letting any other males around’ so I don’t see how this is your business.’ Alaric says it is his business – he volunteered himself to look after her (still, why did you do that Alaric?) and that’s what he’s doing. Damon asks Ric what he thinks he’s been doing and Alaric says he thinks that Damon… “needs to take a beat.”

Is this a thing? Take a beat? I don’t get out much so tell me please. Either way, I’m going to be saying it a lot. Someone honks at me in traffic while I try to do my makeup at a green light? “Take a beat!” Someone wants me to stop dancing? “Take a beat, buddy!” Want me to stop calling your house? “You know what I’m about to say, Sir!”

Damon crazy eyes all over the place and Liz comes up to tell him it’s time for a council meeting. Oh, and she heard that whole thing, as I’m sure everyone else in the surrounding area did. She wisely decides to leave it alone, I guess. I say I guess, because she is a cop and probably should do something about it.

Don’t you love how the wider Damon’s eyes get the squinter Ric’s gets?

o o o

Klaus and Stefan chow down on some girls while Rebekah whines that her girl is dead, and she is, therefore, bored. Hehe. Klaus ignores her and says that Stefan wasn’t kidding about being hungry. Stefan laughs and says it’s been a long day and Klaus teases, saying it’s probably thanks to his little sister. She tells Klaus to stop being mean and then says the same to Stefan – he used to love her.

Did anyone think Rebekah kinda comes off a little Veruca Salty in this scene?

Klaus tells her it’s been 200 years; give Stefan “a beat” to get back into the swing of things. She asks Klaus why he’s taking Stefan’s side over hers and he says it’s because he loves him more. Okay, not really, but you know he’s thinking it. What he really says is that he pities any man who doesn’t give Rebekah what she wants and she shouts at him to stop making her seem like a spoiled brat when she isn’t. Klaus says that a thousand years of life experience tells him otherwise and he and Stefan laugh.

Ack! I really love bigbrother!Klaus.

Stefan says chilling out with Klaus isn’t a walk in the park either – after one whole summer together he’s about to kill himself. Rebekah is charmed.

Stefan gives her sexy eyes before dumping his body on the floor and says he needs some air. Why isn’t Klaus suspicious of all this air Stefan needs?

Rebekah asks where Stefan is going and Klaus says to go write a name on a wall – that it’s a long story. AAHHAHA!  That’s nice. I liked that.

I bet before Klaus killed his family they were a pretty happy bunch. He gripes, but he seems a lot happier with both Stefan and Rebekah there – like he’s making is own new, little family. He’s so terribly afraid of rejection…

Yes, I am sympathetic to Klaus. I love him! Stop judging me.

o o o

Jeremy goes to go lock himself in a room in the Lockwood mansion to talk to Anna. What? Why? Why didn’t you just stay home to do that, Jeremy? Why didn’t everyone in that family just stay home today? This whole scene I thought someone was going to bust through those doors and give Jeremy the side eye for grasping and conversing with the air.

Anna appears and Jeremy is so happy. He apologizes about leaving so abruptly before when his lame living girlfriend came back. Anna is cool about it; she asks why Jeremy hasn’t told Bonnie about the whole seeing dead ex-girlfriends thing and he says she’s been gone all summer. Anna says yeah okay, but why for reals. Jeremy dicks around and doesn’t really answer. He just says that he’s not even totally sure how this is working.

Anna explains that it’s a push pull system. She pushes, trying to be heard and when he pulls, up she pops. He asks her what the other side is like and from what she says it sucks A LOT. Basically, she can see and hear everything and everyone, but no one can see or hear her. So she’s always alone. He asks about Vicki and Anna says whenever she feels Vicki all she feels is darkness. Something bad and whenever she tries to warn Jeremy about it something bad happens. He tells him to be careful – to try not to let her in because if he’s not open to it she can’t get through.

Hey guys, for some reason I don’t trust Anna. Am I the only one who feels like that?

She goes on to say that it’s so great to be able to talk to Jeremy – that she’s all alone here and doesn’t have anyone. She touches his hand, and takes it away quickly, forgetting he can’t feel anything. He asks her to touch him again so she does and they raise their hands palm to palm.

I don’t know if he can feel her or not.

o o o

Back at Gloria’s, Stefan asks her what she saw in that vision of the necklace. Gloria says it’s more like what she heard – the girls with the necklace were talking about him. Stefan asks why she didn’t tell Klaus, and Gloria is like she never wanted to help Klaus in the first place- she just wants the necklace for herself to keep as a talisman. Stefan says that he’s sorry and that he can’t help Gloria with that and she tells him not to be difficult. She would hate to have to tell Klaus his life partner was is keeping secrets.

Stefan goes to bum rush her but Gloria is like ‘nuh-uh, trick.’ She jujus him to the floor.

Back from the break and Gloria has spelled Stefan to a table with his shirt off. She’s got her voodoo stuff all set up. She cuts his arms and says all she wants to know is where the necklace is. She goes on to say that witches these days are into the new age stuff, like making leaves fly around and the wind to blow everybody’s homework around (I’m lookin’ at you BonBon!) but she’s more into old school voodoo. She puts bent nails into the slashes in his arms to “stop that pesky healing” and Stefan roars in pain. He insists he won’t tell her anything and she says he doesn’t have to – it’s his essence leaking out through his blood, so either way she’s going to get the answer. She says herbs work too and rubs her hands with things like witch-hazel, sage, and vervain. She presses her hands to his chest and we can hear the sizzle.

o o o

Back at the Lockwood’s, the meeting is wrapping up. Nothing has happened anywhere since spring. The end. Everyone leaves except Liz, Carol, and Damon and that’s when Daddy Forbes walks in. He asks if they think the council is clueless or just stupid. Oh, and he can remember everything that happened.

What I’m wondering is how Liz didn’t shoot Carol in the face after what she did to her daughter.

o o o

Bonnie and Jeremy are sitting on his bedroom floor going through her grimoires; they’re looking for anything that pertains to a necklace. Jeremy asks why she can’t ask all the dead witches she was channeling and she tells him she’s been cut off from them for bringing him back to life. She apologizes for not telling him sooner but he assures her that she did nothing wrong.

Bonnie says that Elena mentioned that he was having a hard time since dying for the second time and coming back to life, but he’s like ‘nah, I’m cool. Stuff like that happens to me all the time.’ They start to go through the books again, but then Anna pops up and says she feels the darkness.

Suddenly all the books burst into flames, which Bonnie puts out.

That’s suspicious! I super don’t trust Anna!

o o o

Gloria is still a torturin’ – she burns Stefan some more and finally gets somewhere. She sees flashes of Elena and Stefan, sees that he loves her a lot, and then sees that she’s still alive. She puts two and two together and figures out Elena is the reason why Klaus can’t make hybrids. But she can’t do anything with the info because we hear “This is creepy,” right before Katherine kills her with a stab to the neck.

o o o

Caroline is asking Elena if Stefan ever told her where she got the necklace and Elena says nope. Ric comes up and asks if Elena is ready to go, and she says yes, but she needs to find Damon first. Caroline says he’s probably off doing terrible things to good people. Elena gives her a look, but Caroline isn’t budging – she says to image that she is the honesty police. Before she can say more, she turns, sees her dad, and leaves quickly to hide upstairs.

Alaric and Elena leave alone, together, but then Damon rushes up, a little panicked. He doesn’t know how Daddy Forbes can remember everything.

Damon: He threatened to out me! Don’t even get me started on the irony of that!

Daddy Forbes wants to put vervain in the water supply and Damon is horrified. Elena thinks it’s a good idea though; a way to keep Damon in check while Stefan is gone. That makes Damon very, very angry.

He says he should have killed Daddy Forbes this morning, but it’s mostly said out of spite. He’s pretty sick and tired of Elena trying to change him. And it’s not even trying to change him into something better that annoys him, I think – it’s the fact that she wants to change him into Stefan.

Damon: Yeah, well if I kill him, she’ll have one more parent than we do.

Elena is appalled that he would even consider it, and Alaric is on her side. He blocks Damon every time he tries to go past him. Pissed, Damon checks to see if Alaric is still wearing his can’t die ring, and, seeing that he is, snaps his neck.

Elena is all ‘Damon what the hell?! Not cool!” He ignores her.

o o o

Back at Gloria’s Stefan and Katherine are cleaning up.

Wait. This must have taken hours. Are you telling me Klaus and Rebekah didn’t a) go back to see what Gloria was up to and b) didn’t go looking for Stefan? Okay.

Katherine is still trying to convince Stefan to tell her what the deal is with his plan. So she tells him her plan – Rebekah is the easier mark, but he can’t pretend to love her because Klaus will know. So Stefan has to ignore Rebekah and get closer to Klaus – that way Rebekah will want him ever more and he will have her in the palm of his hand. I approve of that plan. Anything to make Stefan and Klaus share more screen time. Stefan says he has no idea why Katherine is still talking to him like they are in this thing together. She cajoles him, saying that she just saved him from a witch and he considers her. Finally he lets out that he used to know Klaus back in the day, and back then he was running from someone. Katherine says that she heard rumors of a vampire hunter back then. They both ponder why Klaus, who is basically invincible, would be scared of a little vampire hunter.

Katherine tells him that she wants in on killing Klaus but Stefan tell her he doesn’t want a partner in crime.

So is this the same guy? Cause if so, he’s either really old, immortal, or the slaying business is passed down generation to generation in his family.

o o o

In a really nice scene Tyler comes back from football practice to see Caroline waiting for him in his room. He’s so happy to see her! She says that she’s hiding from her dad, and he offers to beat him up, and they make out and kiss and it’s all so sweet! These two! They’re about to get down and dirty when Elena calls. Caroline says she’s only picking up to see if it was a best friend emergency (don’t you all want a best friend like Caroline?)

o o o

Back in the parlor Damon confronts Bill. He asks Bill how he resisted his Compulsion and he tells Damon that it all came down to will power. He’s been training himself for decades on how to resist all Compulsion. And also, Damon’s technique is lazy. Hah! Well, that explains what he was doing to Caroline – it was still horrible, but at least he wasn’t going ENTIRELY on a hunch.

Damon says he’s surprised Bill came back, and Bill says he knew the risks but assumed Damn wouldn’t be self-destructive enough to kill the sheriff’s ex-husband. Damon says everyone has been underestimating him lately right before he attacks, sinking his teeth into Bill’s neck. He pulls back after a few good sucks and Bill asks incredulously if Damon plans to kill everyone who figures out his secret. Damon says he doesn’t plan on killing Bill – just plans on having these little moments with him. Then Caroline busts in a throws Damon against a wall. She gives her dad some of her blood, telling him to grow up when he says no thanks.

Damon comes back at her, says something smart, and she back hands him. He throws her onto the desk, pinning her down. He says that he’s stronger than her and she says “yeah well, I’m angrier,” before twisting his arm around, head-butting him, and throwing him way across the room and hustling her dad out of there.

GO, CAROLINE! WHOO HOOO!

Elena comes in to lay into Damon, but he isn’t having it; he yells at her that she needs to stop trying to change him into Stefan.

o o o

Back at the Gilbert’s, Jeremy is washing his hands. Bonnie says she’s gonna grab the vacuum to clean up all the ashes from the fire. Anna pops up, and he closes the bathroom door, turns on the water, and whisper-shouts that she can’t keep popping up like that. She says that she was just worried about him. And besides, she can’t just show up whenever she wants to – he has to be thinking about her too. Jeremy doesn’t say anything and she realizes that he still cares about her and that’s why he wouldn’t tell Bonnie.

Jeremy denies it in his own way, then closes his eyes and wishes Anna gone.

When Bonnie comes back, Jeremy sits her down to tell her everything and in the background Anna is begging and pleading for him not to leave her alone.

Aw, man! That is so freakin sad! Even though I don’t trust her entirely, it’s still a very sad existence she leads.

Jeremy got a handle on the shutting out, letting in thing really quickly, didn’t he?

o o o

Back at the warehouse full of coffins, Stefan is checking one out. Not sure which, maybe Elijah’s? He’s about to open it when Rebekah comes waltzing in. She’s happy that he’s back, and tells him Klaus went to go check on the Gloria. Stefan asks why she doesn’t take the dagger out of her family members and Rebekah says, matter-of-factually that Klaus would hunt her ass down and kill her.

She’s really not kidding.

Stefan asks her how does she still love Klaus even though he’s so horrible. She says that she hated him for a long time but it was too exhausting to keep up. Stefan segues not at all smoothly into how, when he met the both of them, they were on the run. She says that all of that was exhausting as well. He asks who it was they were running from – he didn’t think Klaus was afraid of anyone. Rebekah says no one in the world is truly fearless. He asks who the man was, but she says that she can’t talk about that. Stefan says yeah, sure he understands. She goes on to say that Klaus told her all about how much he loved Elena and how he’s only with Klaus because he spared Damon. Stefan says its true and she tells him in secret that she thinks Klaus admires how loyal he is to his family. She tells him not to tell and he says that her secret is safe with him. He goes to walk away but she pulls him back into a kiss. After they part she asks if he could ever love someone like he loved Elena ever again and Stefan says one day, maybe.

She calls bullshit.

Just then, Klaus comes rushing in saying they need to leave because Gloria is gone. He looks around, sees their expressions, and asks what’s going on. Is it weird that I found this moment adorable – Klaus not knowing something? Rebekah tells him that Stefan was asking about the hunter guy (Michael we are told is his name) and that he’s lying about being on their side. Klaus gives Stefan the evil eye, and Stefan tries to talk him down. I don’t know why he’s talking – we both know there are other ways to distract your man, Stefan. *wink wink nudge*

Anyway, Klaus isn’t buying it and bum rushes him.

o o o

It’s the next morning in the boarding house. Damon is mixing up some fancy alcoholic beverage and he brings one glass over to where Alaric is asleep on the couch. He rattles the ice in the glass against Ric’s ear and he’s bolting up right. Pavlovian, isn’t it? I laughed a lot at this scene.

I love how they are actively writing in Alaric’s alcoholism.

Anyway, Ric isn’t appeased by the alcohol, for once – he’s really, REALLY, mad that Damon killed him. He yells and Damon is like ‘dude, calm the hell down. Yeah, I killed you, but I was just mad. We all have those days!’ Ric is still raging. He tells Damon maybe the reason why everyone was trying to control him is because he’s a raging dick WHO KILLS PEOPLE. He really is very mad about that. He storms out and Damon is a little surprised.

 

o o o

Caroline tells Elena that she was right about Damon never being able to change and Elena concedes defeat. She’s about to say more about how he needs to change if he wants to be in her life and Caroline can’t take it anymore. She says it’s been a VERY long week and she’s just going to be blunt – Damon has gotten under Elena’s skin, terribleness and all. Elena goes to deny it AGAIN, but Caroline cuts her off. She shouts at her to just admit that she is attracted to him, but Elena says she can’t admit it! She can’t, because then what does that make her?

Um, someone who… wants to sleep with… someone who… looks like Ian Somerhalder? I doubt anyone is going to get onto her about that. Well, they might if everyone thinks she’s still screwing that one guy who looks just like Matthew Davis.

Caroline tells her that it just makes her human. She sees her dad passing and goes to talk to him. Bill says he’s going to “go back home before something kills me.” Someone should paint that onto the “You Are Now Entering Mystic Falls” sign.

She asks him if he’s alright and he says he sure is. He thanks her for coming to his rescue and she says he is welcome. He goes to leave again but she calls out to him – she tells him that she’s going to be alright. Bill looks at her sadly and says that she’s a vampire – he doubts she will ever be alright ever again.

o o o

Alaric is sitting in the Lockwood parlor. He’s demanding to be on the council. Liz and Carol are like ‘ehhh,’ and he’s like ‘no ehh’s'; one has a daughter who is a vampire, and one has a werewolf for a son. They are biased towards each breed and no one is really standing up for the humans! No one is doing a damn thing to protect anybody! If the beasties act of line they need to get out! Yada yada yada! He blusters and makes strong hand gestures before saying he will see them in the next meeting.

He really didn’t give them a choice, to be honest – kinda just ran up all in there.

Good for you Alaric, I guess. You all know he’s just doing this to keep Damon in line and away from his woman.

o o o

Bonnie is sitting outside at the Grill when Elena runs up. She says that Jeremy told her that Bonnie still had her necklace. Bonnie says yeah, she couldn’t figure out what was up with it. Elena says she feels weird without it and Bonnie hands it over. She goes on to say that Jeremy is having ghostly night and day terrors, before turning around at the women who pours her a new coffee. When she looks back Elena is gone.

o o o

Damon opens his door to find Elena there glowering at him, but it soon becomes apparent that it was Katherine the whole time. Damon bangs his head against the door. She walks into the house (thought she wasn’t allowed to unless Elena invited her, unless they took the deed out of her name?) and holds up the necklace, asking if he wants to go on a little road trip.

Damon takes stock of his life, and says yes immediately. He wants to “take a beat.”

Katherine found her partner in crime.

YAY THIS IS GREAT!!

o o o

Stefan wakes up in the back of a truck to find Klaus smiling at him.

Stefan holds up his hand and says he can totally explain. Klaus smiles again and says there is no need – he’s not mad, just curious. His little sister seems to think that Stefan is holding on to something from his past life and Klaus is going to indulge her.

He gets up and lifts the huge back door. It rolls up to reveal…

Mystic Falls!

 

Stefan has a heart attack.

o o o

That’s it! And watching it the second time around I take it back! A lot of everything happened plot-wise! Well, more than I initially thought. It just didn’t feel like it, with how fast the episode seemed to fly by. Did anyone else find it weird that after everything Damon has done to/with Alaric, that when it comes down to it, Elena is the thing that is getting between them? Like I said, I know Alaric is supposed to be a guardian type figure, but this is going the ways of Stefan/Klaus epic proportions of misunderstood story line…

Next week Klaus and Stefan play a game titled ‘Suck the Life Out of Elena For Real This Time.’

Can’t wait! See y’all next week! (Or on twitter!)

Questions!

-Where do you think Katherine is taking Damon?

-Do you trust Anna completely?

-What do you think Klaus will do Stefan when he doesn’t kill Elena?

-How excited are you for a Damon/Katherine adventure?

-How many times will you say “take a beat” this weekend?