Logan Enjoys A Conjugal Visit

Things haven’t been going so smoothly for the Veronica Mars family these days. Keith Mars seemed to be coasting to an easy win in the sheriff’s race, but the revelation that his negligence might have contributed to the bus accident tanked his hopes. He had evidence that the there was an explosion just before the bus, but the integrity of the investigation was more important than his winning the mayor race, so he took the chance and gave it to Sheriff Lam. As for Veronica, she was embarrassed on public access television, but the real blow was Wallace’s departure. After being lied to by his mother and believing that Veronica wouldn’t give him the kind of support he was always willing to give her, he left with his dad, leaving Veronica without her best friend and without any mystery solving sidekick to aid her should she need it. This week, we greatly expanded the conspiracy surrounding the bus crash, and perhaps opened a little bit of a door back to Lilly Kane’s murder. I even changed my opinion about Logan the Penis Head.OK, I didn’t really change my opinion of Logan, but don’t let that stop you from reading the recap and telling me how dumb I am for it. That’s always very cool, so let’s get started. Everybody was eagerly awaiting the results of the sheriff election, but the race was turning out too close to call. At Mars HQ, Keith assembled all of his friends to wait for the news and Veronica was spending the evening there before going to a party at Duncan’s apartment. Also, can I take a little survey here? How many people, while still in high school A) threw a party or B) went to a party on election night when nobody in your family was a candidate or involved in the campaign? Maybe it’s just a California thing.

The race came down to the last twenty minutes, and the local news called it for Sheriff Lam. The sheriff had no time to celebrate however, as he found out some information on an investigation he thought was already over. When Logan was accused of killing the Mexican last year, he had no recollection of the crime, and it was actually called in by an anonymous informant. Well, that informant decided to step forward and he had some new evidence about what he saw.

Veronica was bummed, but she made her way to Duncan’s party, where of course all of the rich and influential kids were busy getting intoxicated. Included among them was Dick Casablancas. He bumped into Logan, and while you think that Dick might have been upset that Logan was boning his stepmom in his house, Dick actually didn’t really care. Hey, at least he didn’t perv on his real mom, right? Dick always liked looking at Logan’s mom, so no harm no foul. Logan was relieved that there was no hard feelings, to which Dick replied that no, Logan’s mom gave him a few hard feelings. But aside from that, it seemed like everything was OK. Good thing too, because I wouldn’t want to have to witness another slap fight like the one with him and Duncan. Then again, Logan[not Duncan, thanks Alissa] really did look tough in his leather jacket. It looked like something they gave to the cast and crew of Big Trouble In Little China. Those Kurt Russell/Kim Cattrall epics ALWAYS have the best schwag. ALWAYS.

Hey, does anybody know where the Thriller auditions are?

You would think that Dick Casablancas would have been sort of embarrassed to show his face after his dad was accused of cheating thousands of investors, but hey, at least his dad didn’t murder anybody, right? Dick also attracts plenty of interest from the ladies including Gia Goodman, daughter of Woody Goodman, the man who just became the town supervisor of Neptune. Gia sees Veronica, says that she is sorry about her dad’s loss since Gia’s dad really wanted Keith Mars to win, and she’s, you know, a nice person. She then goes on to explain she expects to be a wild child daughter of an elected official, Babs and Jenna style. Next, Gia asks Veronica what she thinks of Dick.

Veronica sort of stares at Gia. She knows Gia, but she’s not quite sure how to answer that question. She has this look on her face like she’s trying to figure out what to say. Does “it’s an acquired taste” sound like too much information, or does she just say something like “as long as it’s attached to a man” and laugh it off? But she soon realizes that Gia meant Dick, with a capital D, meaning Dick Casablancas. Veronica takes one look over at Richard, watches him fill yet another beer. And says “Dick is Dick,” or perhaps “Dick is dick.” Either one works fine.

As this exchange goes on, Deputy Sacks comes into the party, but he’s not there to arrest any underage drinkers or confiscate booze. He is there for Logan. I’m not sure if he is drunk or just cocky (KIDDING, I know he was being himself, so calm down), but Logan doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he wants the deputy to put him in handcuffs. There’s really not that much they can do to him, right? Well, OK, they sort of throw the book at him. Sheriff Lamb really wants to get Logan, and so he puts him in a lineup. Now, I understand that Logan is like so cool and like, so funny, and like, so dreamy, but I have to say, when I see this guy acting like his lineup is an audition for the school play, I am sorry, but I don’t have much sympathy. It pains me to agree with Sheriff Lamb, but when he says that Logan is a flight risk and vows to make sure he doesn’t make bail, I’ll take his side.

It turns out that Logan’s murder investigation isn’t the only one rearing its ugly head. When Veronica gets to her dad’s office, she sees a man passed out in the hallway, reeking of purple Mad Dog 20/20. I would call it “grape” but if you have ever had Mad Dog, you know that actually naming these flavors after the fruits their colors represent is a little bit of a stretch. When Veronica wakes him up, she sees that it is Abel Koontz, of the “take the rap for young teenage girl murder” Koontzes. Last year, Abel was to take the fall for the Lilly Kane murder, and Kane software paid him $3 million to shut up, which he gave to his daughter. Abel’s daughter Amelia has gone missing, but he is dying, so he really needs Veronica’s help to find her. Veronica can never deny a dying wino his last wish, so she agrees to do it.

Abel and Amelia were supposed to get the hell out of Dodge, or at least Neptune, after the settlement, but nobody can completely leave everything behind, so Veronica first checks with her boyfriend. He admits that he saw her after the settlement. In fact, she they spent some time together in Ibiza. And no, I’m not talking about Ibiza Tan on Fairfax near Genghis Cohen; I am talking about THE Ibiza. As Veronica said, the “There’s Tara Reid Passed Out Ibiza” also known as the “Would Brooke Burke have ever found a job without this island Ibiza.” They spent days there, partying each night, and lounging in the sun by day, until one night, he lost her in a foam party. He never saw her since, and even had to get his parents to fly him back home.

Veronica is still at about the same place as she started, so she decides to try and ask her roommate. When Amelia’s roommate learns about the Ibiza trip, she is quite stunned. Amelia was never a party girl, and she normally had to be dragged out to any event where there might be boys and alcohol at the same time. Veronica’s dad just warmed up to the idea of her helping out with his PI business, but asking to go to Europe on a fact-finding mission might be a little much. Veronica tells us that she is going to keep her thong in the closet, at least until Duncan asks her to put on that nurse’s outfit again, decides to do her investigation the new fashioned way, by tracking down where she was using the phone cards her boyfriend gave her on the island. Yes, I said phone cards. I know that not everybody has a cell phone, but in Europe, where some countries have more cell phones in them than people, I don’t know how people would even talk to her if she wasn’t carrying one. With $3 million in the bank, you think she could have afforded the deposit should she need to go overseas.

If you need to find some SPF 80, try asking Amelia

When the sheriff brought in Logan, the young Mr. Echolls decided it would be a great idea to go with a public defender. He could afford much more, but the last time this happened, the people resented his high-priced lawyers and thought he got off because he was rich. What better way to prove he is like one of the people than to use a public attorney? The public defender chosen to represent him, Mars family friend Cliff McCormack, told him that the rich boy stunt will do nothing than make him look like an arrogant jackass, not that there is much in Logan’s body of work that would prove the opposite. In fact, he says that he should get some of his old lawyers because this thing might go to trial. The witness will testify that Logan said the expletive – racial expletive deserved what his maternal expletive got. On top of that, he says that Logan promised to use his money to have the witnesses killed.

Another reason to get a private lawyer is that they won’t take calls while they are consulting you, and if they do, they can’t bill you for it, although they will find some other sort of billable income to make up for it, I’m sure. Cliff gets a call from Veronica who wants him to call the phone company, pretend his is a distressed father, and have them send the phone records to her e-mail account. He does this, hangs up, and then tells Logan he is being an idiot and he should get a real lawyer.

Logan hasn’t yet made bail, so he is put in a jail cell. He loves giving the sheriff a hard time, and asks Lamb when his conjugal visit comes. I would have to say that Logan is a walking conjugal visit. For those people who can’t stand him, and I am one, you could say that he has his head up his ass. Combine that with his penis head, and there you go: a conjugal visit 24/7. All kidding aside, Logan really does get a conjugal visit. Somehow, his dad Aaron Echolls is in the same cell. He has no court date, but he was transferred to that very cell.

Of all the episodes of Veronica Mars I have watched, now seven and counting, I have never seen Logan display the kind of pure and honest emotion he showed when he was in the cell with his father. Logan has a deep resentment of his father for, you know, killing his girlfriend, covering it up, then trying to kill his other girlfriend when she was getting to the bottom of the case. Aaron tries to play all of this off as some huge sort of misunderstanding. It’s so much better watching Logan relate to people when he is not trying to act as if he is invincible. Before Logan and his father get to talking very much, Cliff comes back. He says that he was able to get bail for Logan and he would be a free man after a $200,000 bond.

News of Logan’s arrest spread quickly in Neptune, and it really brightened the day among a certain portion of the population, including Weevil and his cronies. They decide to rub it in a little bit, and mosey on up to Duncan and Dick discussing the finer points of talking shrimp haberdashery. Weevil starts to make some jokes about Logan and how he’ll be taking it in the behind, so to speak. I have indulged the rich guys for being spoiled but fairly harmless, but when Dick says things like “I didn’t know it was illegal to kill a Mexican” as a slur, even if it’s a joke, you have to wonder if you should have really given him the benefit of the doubt. No fight ensues, but when Weevil finds out that Logan made bail once again, he vows to do something. He heard that their high school, PCH, was being called Panty Club for Homos, meaning that his gang wasn’t quite as fearsome as he envisioned. Something was going to have to happen.

Duncan bumps into Veronica and talks about getting some fake IDs so he and Dick can drink. She kind of looks at him and he wonders if she is upset, but Veronica really just has another idea. Earlier, she had learned that all of Amelia’s calls were placed from Ibiza, except one which happened to be across from Kane software. She broke into the building in order to see our boy Clarence (the name of the first TVgasm Tivo), head of security and the man in charge of keeping Amelia and Abel quiet. Veronica wants to know why Amelia would have been hanging around, but didn’t get any answers.

When Duncan talked about his fake ID, she realized that Amelia needed to have a fake ID in order to get on the booze cruise her roommate was talking about. She looked up the person who made the fake ID and learned that Amelia’s had the name Margot Shnell, and Margot had rented a car recently. She gets to the rental counter, and finds out that Margot rented a white LeSabre. Does anybody else think that Joss Whedon wrote his own dialog during this little cameo, or is Rob Thomas just have that general feeling? Since Wallace wasn’t around to get the other part of the information, Veronica puts on some glasses, lets her hair down and talks to another attendant.

The second attendant was Kim from America’s Next Top Model. I had cringed when I saw that she won because I am SO over her, but I think she did a pretty good job overall. I’d have to say that she did at least as well as Eva or Naima have done in their roles on UPN, and I thought her segment was a little longer than it had to be. Veronica is able to convince Kim’s character to give her some information on the missing car. Using the GPS in the car, they are able to track the last known destination to a hotel in Waverly, CA.

Having beaten the system yet again, Logan is enjoying his police escort back to his house. He even remarks that he is excited because two days away from the house means two days worth of Ellen on the Tivo. Considering each episode is an hour long, what the hell is he doing with the video the rest of the time? Is he too cheap to buy D-Qwon’s Dance Grooves and instead uses Ellen episodes to practice. (Hell yeah!) When he gets to his house, Logan sees that it is up in flames. Normally I would be cynical and say what is the big deal, it was the scene of so many crimes, so let it burn. However, anybody’s home holds lots of memories. So I cannot take joy in Logan’s house burning down, but I can laugh when Officer Lamb says that it’s probably going to ruin his Tivo.

Officer Lamb gets back to his office where Keith Mars wants to once again congratulate him. When he called the night of the election, things were crazy and his message might not have been passed along. Keith also wants to check on how the bus investigation is going. Officer Lamb assures him that it is going well, and sort of lets it slip, but not really, that Veronica was part of the investigation. Obviously Veronica is quite precocious, but that doesn’t mean a father can’t be protective. I guess his sixth sense about her whereabouts is limited to her sleeping over at Duncan’s.

At that moment, Veronica is in Waverly. I would say that I love Waverly, except that I’m not sure it exists. Maybe it was supposed to be some place like Needles. Wherever it is, it’s sparsely populated, but the GPS coordinates lead Veronica to a motel. The motel attendant is there looking up porn, but I am not sure how lucky he is going to get with knotty schoolgirls. After looking at the picture, the man admits to seeing Amelia and said that she got a room. Veronica wants to search the rooms, but the guy says it costs $30. If Veronica had been a little savvier, I am sure he would have given her an hour for just ten. In Amelia’s first room, she doesn’t find anything, but is startled when her dad calls. He is livid about the whole Curly Moran thing, believing that it can’t be a good sign that a dead felon, partially implicated in the murder or death of a number of school kids has his daughter’s name written on his hand.

Veronica tries to convince her dad that she was just scared and was hoping it would go away, but he wants to know her whereabouts. Unfortunately, there was no GPS implant Keith could use when his daughter was born, and although he is smart, he is not smart enough to use any computer trickery to keep tabs on Veronica that she wouldn’t be able to catch first. Keith asks Veronica to send him a picture of where she is. She had told him that she was at an art gallery, so she arranged some photos from the room on the wall, and took a picture using her SLR, and when she was in the process of e-mailing the pictures using her laptop, she noticed that a Bluetooth device was in range. For those unfamiliar with Bluetooth, it’s a way for electronic devices to talk to each other. Amelia’s palm pilot had Bluetooth, and it was within close enough range for Veronica’s computer to notice. That means that the palm pilot had to be nearby.

We don’t get any explanation why Amelia thought a PDA was more important than a cell phone, but Veronica did end up buying the two motel rooms on either side in order to search for evidence. Both of them turned up empty, and she was about to give up. Bluetooth only has a range of about 30 feet, so the palm pilot had to be close by, but again, she had already checked the rooms. Then she got a hunch and checked the ice machine. Sure enough, Amelia’s palm pilot was in there, along with her dead body. Veronica rushes to her room to call the police. When she talked to Clarence earlier, she had a suspicious feeling that he was involved in the abduction, and when he shows up at her hotel room warning her not to tell the police, she wishes that she had told her dad the truth about where she was.

Clarence wasn’t there to hurt Veronica, but he did want to help her get to the truth. He knew that Amelia had called, but she was trying to get another quarter of a million dollars from Kane Software. The two of them ask the motel clerk if Amelia came with a boy, and he said that he had brown hair, was medium sized, and wore a t-shirt. That doesn’t really narrow down the possible suspects, but Veronica knows a good place to start. The two of them go Amelia’s boyfriend’s place to ask him a few questions, and to make sure he knows they mean business, Clarence dangles him upside down outside of his apartment. Even though lying might mean falling to his death, the boyfriend says he knows nothing.

After hearing about Veronica’s run-in with the law, Keith Mars had a little interrogation of his own that he wanted to complete. Veronica mentioned that she believes the bus crash was staged in order to kill a witness, and it might have been her. Aaron Echolls might be interested in killing a witness if it would help him in any way, and so Keith pays Aaron a visit in jail. Aaron acts like he is still in control. I guess maybe I shouldn’t blame Logan for the way he acts, because after a few glimpses at the way his father acts, I am surprised that Logan has been able to maintain sanity living and being raised by that man for so many years. Keith says that if anything happens to Veronica, he is going to make Aaron pay and the he just wanted to demonstrate just how easily he could get to Aaron if that is what it takes.

I invite people to please e-mail me with all of the great charitable work Logan does because I don’t want to get the wrong idea of him. On the outside, he seems like a person who acts as if his large net worth is all you need to know when you are judging his character. But you know, maybe he is just misunderstood. He never asked to be rich, and people always resented him for his wealth and his father’s fame before giving him a chance. There are two sides to every story, and so I’ll be open to giving Logan a chance to demonstrate with his actions why he is more than the narcissistic asswipe I’ve been assuming he was all of this time.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that he is innocent of the murder and the appearance of his mystery witness is more than a little fishy. He didn’t deserve to have his house burned down (unless you think he was stupid for not having video surveillance or an armed guard). However, when Weevil came in asking why Logan bought the mortgage on his grandmother’s house and was going to evict his family, I have to put that in the asswipe douchebag column. Sure Logan must defend himself, but we also must assume that Weevil was innocent. If there is not enough evidence to convict Weevil of his crime among a jury of his peers, than Logan should be man enough to live with that result. Does Logan honestly expect his Mexican friends to respect the rule of the law regarding his murder arrest if cannot show his ability to do the same? Does he think the law shouldn’t apply to him? I think these are legitimate questions. Perhaps those that understand Logan will help me out a little bit here.

Even though Wallace isn’t returning any of her e-mails, Veronica still takes the time to send him updates on all that is going on in the world of Neptune. While online, a blonde-haired hottie not from the colonies initiates a video chat with Veronica. Veronica had put out an ad online in search of information, and our girl from Europe recognized Amelia, and her boyfriend, who she called an unbelievable liar, from an Ibiza picture Veronica had. At first, we think that it is Mike that had lied, but after checking with the motel owner, we see there are two guys in the picture who are medium sized with brown hair, and it is the one with the soul patch that was with Amelia at the hotel. Is there anybody in the history of the world who has a soul patch that is trustworthy? I mean besides Mark McGrath? Veronica lets Clarence know the details. The guy’s name is Carlos Marcato, and he happens to be in Vegas, but even if they catch him and have evidence, he is going to go back to Argentina because his father is a diplomat. Clarence doesn’t plan on turning the guy in, however. Kudos to him. He doesn’t have to kill the man that caused Amelia to extort money from his employer, but he’s going to go the extra mile and do it anyway. Maybe he’ll get employee of the month like Joss Whedon.

So, what do you say to a man on his deathbed whose only daughter was killed and his only wish is to reconcile with her? Tell him that she is happy; at least it might make him feel better in his final days. Veronica tells this small lie to Abel and he seems to be happy. With nothing else on her mind, Veronica decides to visit Duncan. With her father still upset, Duncan will listen to her problems. She walks into his apartment and sees him lying on the couch in that fetching argyle sweater taking a nap with a newspaper in his face. Veronica curls up on top of him, only to find out that Duncan was really Logan. With his house burned down, Logan thought it would be much more convenient to live with his friend and borrow his clothes than using all of the riches he always talks about to rent an apartment and buy some new threads of his own. I’m sure the look on Veronica’s face after it all happened was worth it though.

I really liked this episode. We worked with a lot of characters and I like how there is still mystery as to who caused the bus crash. I think we are all led to believe that it is definitively linked to Aaron Echolls and last year’s murders, but the writers have left enough open that they can take it another way without confusing us too much. At the end, Keith Mars breaks into the police evidence hangar to investigate the bus himself. He sneaks in with his flashlight and at one point is forced to hide on the ground when he hears somebody else may be near. What he sees underneath one of the seats baffles him. A dead rat strapped to something. In the first episode, Dick[not Duncan, thanks Alissa] complained about the smell on the bus, and it prompted himto hire a limo to take everybody home. Was that rat planted there to get the rich kids off the bus? Was it planted there to get everybody off the bus? Nobody really knows but we would love to find out.

What did you think of the episode? Do you believe that Aaron Echolls had nothing to do with the bus crash? Is the new witness trouble for Logan? When is Wallace coming back?