Recap: Veronica Mars: Love Stinks (and so does Logan)

This week’s episode of Veronica Mars introduces us to another murder mystery to add to the ongoing murder mystery that we’re already trying to figure out. Fun stuff huh? This show is not for the weak of heart or weak of brain, so I apologize for the tardiness of my recap this week but it’s been a ZOO at work lately and I wanted to make sure to have all my facts straight so as not to disappoint the Tvgasm masses.We start at the halftime of the Hearst basketball game where the coach is yelling at his team for sucking on the court. Coach Barry has promoted Wallace to a starting position (yay for the rarely seen Wallace!) because his former “star” player Mason has not been playing up to his abilities. As Coach Barry berates his players, he focuses in on Josh who also happens to be his son.

Josh doesn’t appreciate the bitchslapping from daddy so he strips off his jersey and quits on the spot. At least his dad didn’t tackle the boy that was humiliating his son on the court, ‘cuz that’s SO played out already! After the 20 point loss, Wallace chats with V in the school cafeteria over some ice cream but V can’t really cheer him up and he feels bad about taking the starting spot from Mason as well. Then he brings up Logan, so he drags V down his hole of misery. Obviously ice cream doesn’t work the same for these two as it does for me. Give me a pint of Chubby Hubby and I’m all better!

V comes home to find a lovely breakfast with strings attached. Her dad “buttered” her up because he needs her help at the office to send out his invoices. Meanwhile, Dick finds out from his Econ. professor that Logan will fail the class if he misses one more day. I always thought that Dick had the theory of supply and demand down to a science IN HIS PANTS, but I guess he has to go to class every once in a while to keep ABREAST of things. Logan’s not showing because he’s moping around his penthouse in a funk over losing V. Apparently, he’s very funky because room service won’t deliver his recent order unless he lets them in to collect all the dirty dishes he’s been hoarding. They’re out of salt and pepper shakers for Christ sakes and it’s all funky Logan’s fault!

Dick comes by to save the day and tells Logan a lie about a fire in V’s neighborhood (meth lab explosion) to lock him out on the balcony and let the hotel staff clean up Hurricane Echolls. He also informs Logan that he has his rebound girl on the ready as he’s invited two hot sisters over for a beach party later that night. Logan wants no part of the nookie, but he ends up getting the cookie instead because his hot date is only eleven and Dick and the legal sister take off for the party leaving him to babysit. He tells the little girl (Heather) that he’s going to bed and she can watch whatever she wants but to stay away from the porn. A real stand up guy that Logan is.

V shows up at her dad’s office to find the coach’s wife and son already there with one of our other fave PI’s, Cliff. He brought them to see Keith because the night of the losing bball game, Coach Barry was found shot dead beside a stretch of the PCH and Josh is the main suspect. Josh said that he went to talk to his dad after the game because he knew that spot was his favorite thinking place after losses, and he didn’t see his car but did find his body. He couldn’t get a signal to call the sherriff so he came home and told his mom instead. His mom told him to take a shower b/c he had blood all over his clothes, and when the sherriff arrived he saw the clothes and the fact that Josh had on his dad’s NIT championship ring and presto! He must be the killer.

Josh told Keith that when he got out of the gym’s shower after quitting the team, someone had left the ring in his locker so he figured his dad did it as a way to smooth things out after their fight. His mom thinks the PCH’ers killed her husband as a way to steal his car, and Josh thinks that Mel Stoltz may have had it in for his dad as well. Mel is the fatcat that is Hearst’s primary benefactor and he thinks the coach is a douchenozzle, but Mrs. Barry says that he just wanted him fired- not dead. We also find out that Josh has a younger brother named Bobby who is severely autistic, so he won’t be able to testify to Josh’s alibi in court. So pretty much- Josh is screwed without the help of the Mars investigators.

V goes to talk to Weevil to get his help arranging a meeting with the PCH’ers. He reluctantly agrees, and they find out that Arturro is the new gang leader. V tells Weevil that she once taped Artie to a flagpole when she busted him mugging pizza delivery guys, so they’re both surprised at his ascension in the ranks of badasses. Artie tells V that they didn’t shoot the coach because he had a craptastic old station wagon and not only are guns not their style-piece of shit cars aren’t either. Sounds about right to me- that why I drive a crappy car. Homeboys leave me alone unless they’re checking out my ass.

Meanwhile- Keith forces a meeting with Mel Stoltz to check out his alibi for the night the coach was murdered. Mel says he was 35,000 ft. in the air on his private plane flying back from Seattle so his alibi is “airtight”. He does add that he DID want the coach to be fired though, and dead is just as good. I wonder if he has Howard K. Stern on retainer…? When Keith checks out his alibi on the phone with the airport mechanic, we see him nod and write something down but we don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. Things that make you go hmm? A guy that wealthy can pay some schlub to knock somebody off no problem.

V goes back to Josh’s to ask him the show her the spot where he found his dad’s body. She’s looking for any sign of PCH’er activity, but instead she finds a spot on the cliff where it looks as if a car has been pushed off the edge. Josh stands behind her with a creepy look in his eyes and for a moment I thought he might be considering giving V a shove, but he looks over the edge with her into the ocean. At the same time, Mason is visiting Sherriff Lamb’s office to report the best eyewitness testimony so far. It seems that he drove to San Diego to see his girlfriend (is it you HB?) after the game and SAW Coach Barry and Josh arguing on the side of the road. The car was there and he tells the sherrif about the locker room arguement and how Josh quit the team that night. The sherriff’s department finds the coach’s car in the water under that spot and when V and Josh return from their trip, Lamb is waiting to arrest him for murdering his father.

Back at the Neptune Grand, Logan gets a call from Dick saying that he and legal-age sis took a side trip to Vegas and Logan needs to babysit jailbait sis for a few days. Logan is not about to take this lying down (although that’s all he’s been doing lately) but tricky Dick has an ace up his sleeve. Babysitting Heather is payback for bonking Madison. That whore is coming back to bite Logan in the ass in more ways than one. He can’t even mope in peace now! Heather is a sweet kid though, and Logan ends up bonding with her over video games and girl talk about V. She wants him to try and work things out with V because he still loves her, but talking to an 11 year old about love is too taxing for Logan and he bows out. He does give Heather some of V’s clothes to wear because she says she’s starting to smell like him. but he declines her offer to put highlights in his hair. Dick calls back later to say he got MARRIED in Vegas so Logan’s stuck with the kid for a little while longer. Dick is like this show’s Britney Spears: blonde, dumb, rich, quickie Vegas wedding, alcohol-loving, riddled with VD, likes to flash strangers.

Anyway- remember that OTHER murder the Mars’ are working on? Keith calls Mindy O’Dell in to ask to be let off the case. He knows about the Volvo with the egg on it and the fact that there was a phone call from Mindy’s cell to Landry early that morning of the crime. Mindy says that she was at the hotel the whole time, but she remebers that she called Landry from the lobby because she went to get him some toothpaste and wanted to know his brand. She can’t explain about the car though, but Keith calls Landry right there and he confirms the toothpaste story so he stays on the case. Keith pays a visit to his friend Reggie who runs security at the Neptune Grand. He doesn’t have any tapes form the night of the murder since it was too long ago, but he tells Keith that the valets keep records of what cars went in and out each night.

Keith finds out from the valet records that the Volvo was checked out between 1:51 am and 2:59 am the night in question, and since the earwitness placed the gunshot between 2:20 and 2:30 that night- the time fits the crime! Keith comes home to tell V the news and finds her baking cookies for Josh. It seems that he requested reading material and peanut butter cookies (hopefully she didn’t use Peter Pan batch 2111) from his prison cell. Josh also told V to check out Mason as the murderer because he had a grudge against his dad and a gun. Even though V goes to check out Mason’s story and finds out that it would have been hard to definitely SEE Josh standing where he said he did, it doesn’t play out because Keith tells V that Mason’s girlfriend confrims his alibi for that night. He asks V if she has any contacts at the Neptune Grand that could check the registration records for the night in question and lo’ and behold she does!

V goes to the hotel to visit her friendly hot blonde desk clerk, who at one time tried to get in her boyfriend’s pants but ultimately helped her find out the identity of Rory Finch (Landry). Blondie doesn’t know that V and Logan are now exes, and she helps V out by telling her that Rory Finch has not been in the hotel since that night and ON that night, he had room service (creme brulee) delivered at midnight and a pay per view movie at 2:02 am. What movie? Why none other than Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Perfect title when you’re KISSing and BANGing your bosses wife and then he’s KISSing his ass goobye from a gunshot BANG to the head! If they put that movie on at the time the Volvo was out- perfect cover up for murdertime! Blondie gives V the name of the graveyard room service waiter and as she’s heading into the kitchen to check his story, she hears a dedication to her on the radio from Logan. It seems that Heather wanted to help out our LoVesick puppy, and called in Nick Lachey’s What’s Left Of Me to try and patch things up.

After seeing Hurricane Echolls, the waiter tells V she doesn’t want what’s left of Logan but the song seems to touch V in her warm/happy cooter place. The waiter takes V to the room where he was supposed to deliver the brulee, but tells her that he didn’t dleiver it the first time because he heard an arguement going on. He left and came back later and a lady answered the door, but the first time it was two MEN yelling at each other in the room. We know that the Dean came to confront his wife with Landry that night, and they were yelling so that makes sense. However- V doesn’t know this because Mindy’s leaving that part out of her story to Keith so this is a big revelation to the case.

As V is getting on the elevator to go, she steps into an emotional goldmine as Logan and Heather are on the same car. Heather realizes that V is Logan’s V, and asks if she heard the song and tries to plead Logan’s case but Logan is mum and dumbfounded. He steps out without saying much, and then crushes poor little Heather’s feelings when he tells her she doesn’t know anything about LoVe. Logan’s very smooth like that, like one ounce a compasssion comes with sixteen ounces of schmuck. He finds out later from the new Mrs. Dick that Heather’s dad walked on out them and she’s been on Prozac and mood- swingy ever since, so he takes her out for ice cream to apologize for his schmuckiness. See?- THAT’s how ice cream is supposed to work!

V finds out from Landry that she has made it into the second round for the FBI internship she wants, partially due to a GLOWING letter of recommendation that Dean O’Dell wrote for her. She talks about the movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang to see if Landry’s seen it and he has so she thanks him and goes back to show her dad the letter. Once Keith sees it, it lights a fire under his ass to find the Dean’s killer. Back at Logan’s place, Dick and the Mrs. finally come home so she can pick up Heather. Dick has already asked for Logan’s help in getting a divorce lawyer, and he and wifey are fighting about her ugly toes. I hope that there was no prenup so she can get some money out of him at least, ‘cuz she’ll probably need it for the course of antibiotics she’ll be needing soon. Heather and Logan make a video game date and she gives him a hug goodbye. There’s that sweet side of Logan that gets the girls panties bunching!

Keith calls Mindy back to his office to tell her that he knows about the Volvo being checked out, the timing of the movie, and the men arguing in the room. She says that someone is trying to frame her, but he doesn’t believe her and she fires him. He tells her she can fire him all she wants, but she can’t take him off the case because her husband was a good man and he WILL find his killer.

V has smuggled Josh’s cookies to him in an extra chunky copy of a classic book. He’s very grateful and we see him holding up the cookie and not sharing with his grungy-looking cellmate before he scarfs one dowm. Later that day, Logan decides to return to Econ. class and V goes to Criminology class where she is arrested by Lamb for aiding and abetting in Josh’s escape from prison! I find it hard to belive that V would slip something in the cookies to help Josh escape.

More plausible to me would be that Josh decided to pony up some grub to the oldtimer in the upper bunk, who then told him how to break out. Either way- V’s still in trouble until next week’s episode. I want to know WHY Mindy isn’t telling anyone about her husband coming to the hotel? Is it because she and Landry ARE guilty of his murder? She pretty much rubbed his nose in the fact that she was banging his employee. Why wouldn’t she rub him out as well? Will we find out who murdered the coach next week too? Mason’s girlfriend could have lied to cover his tracks and they never found the gun, but Josh is shifty and now he’s a fugitive. Too many mysteries at one time can get confusing, so I’d like for them to wrap one murder up and focus on the Dean’s. How much investigating can V and Keith do without “Backup”? I need more Mac and Piz whiz with my Logan and Dick cheese! I’ll pray at the altar of Flipit for some divine understanding next week. Until then, I’ll keep working on more theories while I watch bonobo porn. Leave a comment if you want to add your own. LoVe and kisses!