Love Hurts…and Burns Too

When I recommend that people watch Veronica Mars, I always tell them to start with the Season One DVD. It’s very difficult to explain for somebody who hasn’t lived through the experience, but the final three or four episodes pull together so many parts of the mystery and bring forth so many different emotions, it becomes more than just a TV show; it’s an experience. Laugh at me if you want to, because I did the same thing last year, but it really is true. I was lucky to have it on DVD because the only thing interrupting my need for more Veronica Mars was sleep and hygiene, and it is KILLING me to have to wait an entire week to get my fix. If I haven’t gushed enough already, you can probably tell that I loved this episode. Mystery, romance, intrigue, antibiotics; this episode had something for everybody. And since things are really getting complicated, I have to warn you that the recap is long, but oh was this episode worth it.So, did you ever hear the one about Veronica Mars and Chlamydia? It goes like this. There was this girl named Veronica Mars. She went to the doctor. The doctor said she had Chlamydia.

OK, so maybe that wasn’t funny, but it’s true. Veronica’s doctor told her about the diagnosis, and being told you have an STD is bad enough, but for Veronica, who hasn’t really had any sort of love life besides the kind you find in the top drawer, it’s has to be even worse. If you get an STD when you’re sexually active, at least you can say that you had some fun getting in trouble. Unfortunately, since the symptoms may not show up for months, if at all, Veronica has no clue how she might have contracted the disease, especially since she said she and Duncan always used protection. Besides, Duncan wouldn’t cheat on her, would he?

As Veronica said, the saying goes “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”, but she can’t figure out anything to make if life gives you Chlamydia. But as bad as Veronica’s problems may be, Mac is the one living the nightmare. She is stuck going to the prom with Butters. Being the principal’s son is difficult enough when you are cool, but when your biggest claim to fame is a radio show of declining quality, life can be hell. Is one cell phone interceptor worth all of that trouble? The prom is one thing, but dinner on a replica pirate ship? That is a whole different ballgame.

Is there any hope for Mac? Well, aside from suggesting Medieval Times instead of a pirate ship, there isn’t much she can do to get out of this. Luckily her classmates have decided to help her out, although in an indirect way. There were so many alcohol violations during the senior class trip to Magic Mountain that they administration has decided to cancel the prom.

Keith got a phone call to come to the Camelot Hotel, scene of many Veronica Mars greatest moments, starting with the opening shot of the entire series. And who could forget that forbidden, steamy first kiss between Veronica and Logan[NOT Duncan, thanks Mark. sorry, i still mix up the names]? There have been plenty of low moments as well, like when Veronica realized her mom had some relations there with Jake Kane. This time around, the person having extra-marital relations was none other than Woody Goodman. Keith got there to find Woody in his underwear, and a woman who was not his wife passed out on the bed.

At least she’s not dead

As a private investigator, Keith is not exactly scared to use methods that aren’t entirely legal to get the job done, as witnessed by his breaking and entering into Kendall’s house last week, but he always uses his discretion. Woody hired him to save Terrence Cook’s name, so when Woody asks Keith to take the girl to the hospital to avoid the scandal, Keith balks at first. Woody assures Keith that he is only doing this because he wants to save the incorporation bid, and so Keith agrees to drop this woman off at the hospital.

Woody wasn’t the only Goodman asking a member of the Mars family for advice. Gia was having a problem with a stalker and wanted some help from Veronica. She did a karaoke and dedicated the song to what she thought was a table of cute guys. She sang “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”, and ironically, it looks like somebody is having that same problem with Gia. As an aside, I have always hated Gia’s style in clothing, so let me be the first to congratulate her on picking something that doesn’t make her look like a big Olive Oyl doll.

Veronica agrees to help out with Gia’s problem and heads to her dad’s office to pick up some equipment. While she’s there, Kendall Casablancas shows up and demands her hard drive back, or she’ll press charges. Keith is ready to call her bluff because she, you know, sent somebody in to kill him. I am not sure what is so important on that hard drive that Kendall needs. She has to realize that Keith probably already went through all the files or even made copies, so there has to be something hidden that Kendall thinks only she has access to. Seeing that Keith is not going to back down, Kendall decides to leave, but is giving Keith until Friday before she escalates things.

Keith asks Veronica about her doctor’s appointment, and although they are very close, she isn’t about to tell him that she has an STD. Besides, he was keeping such close tabs on her and Duncan, he probably knows more than she does. Veronica grabs a couple of remote cameras and then wait in her room with Gia Goodman until the man Gia says is following her pulls up in his car. Veronica zooms in on the plates, checks the registration, and it belongs to none other than Leo D’Amato,

You remember Leo, don’t you? He and Veronica had a thing and then they didn’t. He was last seen getting fired from the Neptune Sheriff’s department for stealing evidence. What was he doing stalking Gia Goodman? Veronica does the only honorable thing and asks Leo out on a date for a little interrogation. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Leo stalking Gia, but I felt bad for him because he thought Veronica called and was interested in him and his career in private security. Instead, Gia ambushes him and asks him why he was following her, but Leo had a pretty good reason – her dad has paid private security to follow her. He’s not sure what it involves some sort of threat, but he didn’t really bother asking too many questions about it.

Gia isn’t, as my grandfather would say, the sharpest tool in the shed, so it’s no surprise that she has no clue what the threat might be, but figures that it might be related to something having to do with Keith. How would she know that? Well, that little incident that Keith was trying to cover up is all in the papers, and it looks like Woody Goodman is in full denial mode because he is basically accusing Keith of all the wrongdoing. In the article, Woody said that Keith was investigated to check leaks among his campaign staff, but they didn’t know he was using alcohol to get witnesses to talk.

There’s a reason that doesn’t seem familiar, because, well, that’s not how it went. Keith goes to Woody’s office to clarify a few things, but Woody only has more excuses. Apparently, the hotel manager had a camera, which surprised Woody, but shouldn’t have surprised any of us. During the “One Angry Veronica” episode when she was on the jury, we saw that there was video footage from the motel. Anyway, Woody says that there is too much riding on this incorporation vote and he didn’t want to risk anything with this scandal. It’s at this point that Keith has to break the bad news that he wouldn’t be voting for incorporation. Keith decides to talk to his reporter friend at the Neptune Register to figure out exactly what is going on. As we suspect, Woody is trying to lay the blame on Keith. There is one person who could clear all of this up, and that is Jennifer Stansfield, the staffer in question. Unfortunately, she left the hospital AMA before being treated and is nowhere to be found.

Gia also had a few words with her dad about the security detail, basically saying that they creeped her out and she doesn’t want them around. Woody assured his daughter that they were just normal pre-election precautions and that they would end soon, but when Gia returned home, she found a DVD. She brought it over to Veronica’s house and the video was from Gia’s brother’s soccer game. Now obviously this is related to the DVD Woody got at his office, but who is sending these videos? Veronica notices on Gia’s DVD there is a woman on the sidelines that is recording the game. If Gia can get the video from that woman, they might find that their stalker is in the background.

Back at school, kids are lamenting the fact that the prom has been cancelled. Wallace and Jackie, who have been closer together than the vicodin and xanax in Paula Abdul’s bathroom, are trying to figure out their options. Wallace believes that he has a great idea. What if the two of them were to go to some batting cages; it’s like so super casual, it’s romantic. Jackie says that it’s not romantic; it’s just male wishful thinking, which really made me laugh. Hey, I always thought that taking a date to some sort of sporting event was fun. I guess it never occurred to me that my companion would be bored out of their minds. For that, I’m sorry.

Anyway, Veronica has the low down on an alternative celebration. She had asked Logan some questions about Duncan’s love life because she wanted to narrow down whom she might have received Chlamydia from. My first guess? Probably Logan Echolls. Since the producers glossed over most of that summer, we have no clue how serious the physical relationship was, but I am willing to bet that they did enough to transmit the bacteria. Logan sort of wondered why Veronica would ask about Duncan’s sex life, but the truth is that Duncan didn’t talk about it very much himself.

Their little meeting did give Logan a chance to invite Veronica to Alterna-Prom. Logan and some of his friends were throwing a party in his penthouse. Isn’t that just like the 09ers? Get drunk on the senior trip and ruin the prom for everybody else, then throw a private prom where the people you screwed over can’t go. Veronica didn’t think that it was a great idea, but Logan really wanted her to go, and even said she could invite Wallace if she wanted to.

Why the sudden change of heart with Logan? Well, he realized that Veronica is going to move on with her life after high school. It’s obvious that there is something between these two. Logan has never wanted to admit that he was hurt when she went back with Duncan, and Veronica never wanted to admit that maybe she was wrong for calling it all off in the first place. I think two things could solve all this. First, they both need to be open and honest with each other, admit their mistakes, and try and treat each other like people. The other thing they need to do is go to Logan’s apartment and THROW OUT THE STUPID HOODED SHIRTS. And while they’re at it, they can throw out his entire argyle selection as well. It may leave Logan with only like three shirts, but it would save my sanity. Can I get a second anybody? Can we take a vote?

If you have put two and two together by now, you have probably figured out that Veronica told Wallace and Jackie about the alterna-prom, which is great news, but a few other kids overheard it. How many Neptune students can you pack in an elevator to the penthouse? I guess we were going to find out.

Although Jackie was worried that she would only have five weeks left with Wallace, things in her life are going pretty well. Yes, people have been repossessing things from her house, but for the first time in her life, she feels like she is getting closer to her father. It might suck that her father is in the hospital recovering from a gunshot wound, but those are the breaks. Jackie has been visiting her father every day, and while some may consider reading your hospitalized father articles from Sports Illustrated not the ideal father-daughter bonding exercise, it really is kind of cute. You could tell that this episode was filmed before baseball season because it said that Met’s manager Willie Randolph was not happy. In reality, he can’t be too pissed about his team being five games up this early in the season. And yes, I have filled my “talk about the Mets” quotient for the next five years, but I just wanted to rub it in that the Mets are doing so great under the tutelage of a lifetime Yankee. Neener. Neener.

And they won their 26th championship and everybody lived happily ever after

What was I talking about? That’s right. Terrence Cook. After learning that Woody was after him, Keith decided that maybe he was investigating the wrong person. He decided to visit Terrence Cook to ask him about the shooting incident. Terrence said he broke into the house because the journalism teacher was working on a story that would have exposed his gambling. He wanted to find her notes before anybody could do anything with it. Obviously, he was unsuccessful, but he swore that he was not the guy they were looking for.

Gia was able to get the video from the woman at the soccer game and just as expected, there was the person that was filming her family. He was wearing a Neptune letterman jacket, which means that it should narrow the search a little bit more. Although he wasn’t on screen for long and the camera obscured his face, Veronica was able to determine that he was driving a red truck. Find that truck, and you’ve got your stalker.

Although Logan has tried to keep a lid on his alterna-prom, he knows that it’s probably not going to be as exclusive as he wants after the stoner kid Corny asked about the big bash and said he would bring the brownies. This was funny because Corny said that the secret to his special brownies was “in the butter”. Not that I would now anything about this, but if you were to make marijuana brownies, the way you get the pot in the pot brownies is to mix it in the butter you would use in the recipe. Alternatively, you could use oil. The idea is that the you heat it up and the THC gets spread out evenly, for a more mellow taste, not that I would know if that was the case or not. Once again, the writers of Veronica Mars know exactly what they are talking about, and now you can share with all of your friends what was so funny about that butter joke.

Veronica searched the registration of all of the kids at school, but none of the had a red pickup. As soon as I saw that none of the kids at school had a pickup, I immediately thought of that kid Lucky. They mentioned that he was always trying to relive his glory days in high school by buying beer, and nothing says I’ve outgrown my glory days than wearing your letterman jacket years after you have graduated. Originally, I thought that Lucky was involved in this episode in another way. Keith had a bunch of mug shots of the person who paid the hooker to take Cliff’s briefcase a few weeks back and wanted Veronica to help out with the mailings. I saw the gross soul patch he had going on and thought it had to be Lucky, but taking a look at it, the guy in the mug shot was way too thick to be him. Later, the story got stranger. Veronica was folding the pictures and putting them into envelopes during study hall, when Logan noticed and said that he recognized that dude. It was his dad’s cellmate. Hmm, it looks like Aaron Echolls was using somebody else besides Kendall to help his case along.

When Veronica went to update Gia about the truck, but to tell her she would keep searching, Gia wasn’t interested. Keith Mars told the truth about what happened with Woody in the papers. Learning that the person who is supposed to be mayor of your newly incorporated town has been using campaign funds to pay for escorts isn’t necessarily that surprising, but it still doesn’t instill a lot of confidence in the electorate. As a result, the ballot measure was defeated.

Keith and Veronica are watching news of the ballot measure when Veronica asks him for a little help. Her father is glad to be of any assistance unless it requires that he possess knowledge of math, physics, chemistry, English, or, well, anything other than P.E. Sort of hard to think that Veronica got all her brains from her mom, and she surely didn’t get her looks from her dad, so maybe we can thank him for giving her all of that spunk and sass. Veronica has a question about the Gia Goodman case, and so she pops in a DVD. Keith hears DVD, sees creepy stalking type recording, and hears that the Goodman’s are involved, and right away ties it together with the other DVD Woody received. He knows that this is going to be more than a case of some obsessed school kid, so he tells Veronica that she should just stay away from the case.

Veronica decides that she will stay away from the case, but still thinks she needs to warn Gia. She sticks around after school hoping to catch Ms. Goodman leaving after she finishes writing her human interest story on the lunch lady who tap dances or whatever, but Gia wants to avoid Veronica even more. Besides, the alterna-prom is that evening and Veronica decides she might want to go. However, leaving the school, she notices the red truck. It is parked in the space labeled “maintenance”, meaning it belongs to a janitor, meaning it is Lucky that was stalking Gia.

Her dad told her to stay away, so Veronica calls him first, but after fifteen minutes she decides that her taser is enough to protect her. She hears voices in the school and sees that Lucky is talking to Gia. Veronica desperately tries to get Gia’s attention, but she is preoccupied with Lucky and all of the scars from combat his is showing her. When Veronica does get her attention, stupid Gia isn’t very discreet, and soon Veronica is the janitor’s closet with Gia, Lucky, and a huge knife. Just when you think there aren’t enough psychopaths in this town, we find another one.

I don’t usually freak out about television shows, but I really started to worry when Lucky pulled his knife out. Veronica is not going to die, or else there isn’t much point to the show, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be worried about her safety. Just as I am about to wonder when Veronica is going to pull out her taser, Keith Mars comes flying through the door, and takes out Lucky. He is strapping the handcuffs on him just as Sheriff Lamb and his boys are walking in. This is unfortunate because Keith still wanted answers to why Lucky was stalking Woody. When Lamb tells Keith to stop the questioning, Keith cuffs himself to Lucky, and then throws away the key.

Whenever Lucky is on screen, I can only think Slingblade

I know that was probably enough excitement for most of you, but we still had the Alterna-Prom to deal with. Think about how Logan and Dick would envision the perfect party, and that’s basically what you have. Corny was there, sans brownies, but he was wearing one of those t-shirts with a tuxedo graphic on the front that I have always wanted to buy. Mac was there and looked very cute, even though Butters looked like he had bought his tux at Zorro Outfitters. I mean seriously, did that thing say “The Gay Blade” or what? We of course had Dick, who was drinking straight from the party keg on his shoulder, although I prefer to call it a pony keg because it sounds funnier. And there was Logan, and I should have guessed that he would be the douchebag that wore the white tuxedo jacket.

So, who was the smoothest guy at the party? Well, it wasn’t Dick, who seemed to have tapped out every girl in school and had worked his way back to the top of the order and was hitting on Madison Sinclair. When Veronica saw these two together, she immediately made a series of sheriff, law, and lamb jokes in front of Madison. Speaking of Madison, she tried to pull the old “trip to the dentist” trick with Gia[not Mac, thanks KiwiwKerry4eva], but Veronica intervened there as well. There was no surprise that Butters wasn’t very smooth. Nobody was wowed about his space elevator talk, but you have to feel for the guy. He told Mac that he knows it is weird to be forced to the prom, especially with him, but he wanted to be true to himself. He was a weird guy and he hoped that Mac would understand because she is kind of weird as well, which was supposed to be taken as a compliment. When Butters says it that way, you almost think they would make a good couple. Unfortunately, Mac is still hung up on Cassidy, so this poor bastard has no chance.

Logan was pretty smooth. The thought of growing further apart from Veronica after graduation bothered him enough that he decided to do something about it. He sees Veronica, and she wonders why he is alone. It’s his penthouse, and he can have the pick of any bimbo he wants, right? Well, Logan says he was over bimbos ever since his heart was broken. Veronica thinks he is talking about Hannah, but it’s not a joke, and he’s not talking about Hannah.

That revelation kind of took Veronica by surprise, but Logan wasn’t done yet. He told Veronica that he had always imagined that their story would be epic. Maybe they wouldn’t have a fairy tale romance where everything went right all the time, but their story would be one to remember. Personally, I have always believer in “opposites attract” rather than “birds of a feather”, and while I don’t agree that these two are meant for each other, whatever they have between them is going to last for a long time. As the music plays and they are staring at each other, I am just waiting for them to start kissing. Would Veronica get it on with Logan when she has Chlamydia? Just another chapter in the epic tale, I guess.

Sorry kids, maybe next year

Well, Logan and Veronica didn’t kiss. They got close enough that I am sure all of you Logan and Veronica forever fans were ready to pull out your hair when Veronica left. She said she was sorry about last summer, and he said that if he could do it all over again….but then she left. Perhaps a few months ago we might have said that she still had feelings for Duncan, but I don’t think that is the case. So many people Veronica has loved have hurt her, but I think she would take the chance with Logan. The problem is that her brain has always told her that she needs to get away from Neptune and become a part of the bigger world, but you can see that her heart is saying that perhaps she is right where she belongs. In any case, it was too much for her to think about and she went home.

So, the smoothest guy probably had to be, well, Wallace. He and Jackie really look made for each other. Wallace does a poor job of acting like a player, so I’m glad that he is back with one woman. For a while we thought Jackie was stringing him along, but she is as into him as he is into her. Perhaps they feel so good about each other because they are trying to salvage their time together before Jackie moves away, but I think there is something bigger there. More of modern day fairy tale than what Veronica and Logan have going for each other. These two are like peas in a pod at this point.

Jackie talked to her dad about Wallace, and like any father, he was worried that she was going to fast. Her response was that she learned about the birds and the bees the hard way, so I wonder if she was already pregnant at one point in time, or she walked in on her parents having sex. For her sanity, let’s hope it’s the former. Wallace went all out for the prom, and from experience I can tell it’s much easier to be yourself with a girl when you know her father won’t shoot you. Since Jackie’s father was shot and in the hospital, it was going to be a little while before he came after Wallace for anything, not that Wallace would have anything but honorable intentions for his time with Jackie.

OK, who am I kidding. Jackie is a babe, Wallace is a hottie. When they got back from the prom, they could barely keep their hands off each other. Logan and Hannah were pretty hot a few weeks back, but Wallace and Jackie looked like they were about to film an episode of Red Shoe diaries. Bown-chicka-bown-bown. Oh yeaaahhh!

The next morning Keith sees that Veronica is up fairly early, so he makes a joke saying that it couldn’t have been a good party. But what about Keith? What was he doing last night? Well, Lamb couldn’t find any keys that would fit his cuffs, so Keith spent a lot of time with Lucky. It looked like Lucky was going to keep his mouth shut, but eventually, he spoke up a little bit. He said that people think of Woody as a great guy, but that’s not really how he is.

Lucky was just about to tell Keith all about it when Lamb came in with the key. Good old Deputy Sachs fished for the key in the sink, and Lucky was being let go. The Mannings, who had a soft spot for the way he would quote the bible and wanted to set him up with Meg before she up and died on them. By the way, I know this wouldn’t happen, but what if Meg was actually cheating on Duncan with Lucky (or he forced himself onto her)? Maybe it was Lucky’s baby, but she said it was Duncan’s because she knew he would be a better father. I know, it’s a little too farfetched, but you know nothing is impossible with Veronica Mars.

Veronica didn’t have much to say. She needed to head over to Logan’s hotel room. She was able to sort out her feelings and if Logan was willing to open himself up to her, she was willing to open up a little bit more herself. When Logan answers the door, Veronica apologizes for leaving last night. She says she doesn’t want to lose him from her life, but she isn’t ready to start anything either. Veronica says that they should make a point of seeing each other, and take it from there.

Many of you may have been giddy at the thought of Logan and Veronica getting back together, but some of you were paying attention to Logan’s eyes when Veronica told him all of this. Earlier, the two of them had been joking about not being able to read each other’s expressions, and this time it was Veronica who was clueless, because Logan was giving her the “I was drunk last night and have no clue what you are talking about” face, but it’s not like Veronica had to guess for much longer, because soon after, Kendall came to the door.

How many second chances does this guy deserve?

I can’t totally rip Logan because I think that I can be completely lucid when I am really drunk. One of my friends told me I gave her great advice one night, and I couldn’t remember the conversation because I was blacked out. When Veronica first left Logan at the party, she did so because she was wondering to herself if love she be so hard like it was between Logan and Veronica. Blame it on his childhood as much as you want, but Logan is going to have to get some professional help, and well I am so goddamned mad right now, I can barely get my thoughts together. Only way to sum up Logan? PENIS HEAD.

I don’t know if Logan was being truthful about his broken heart, but I know that it’s going to take a long time for Veronica to recover from that moment.

He doesn’t deserve her anyway

This was another AMAZING episode. Seriously, what the hell am I going to do when this shit is over during the summer? I think that the thing with Lucky means we have been very close on our speculation with Woody Goodman. I forgot who first said linked Cassidy with Woody, but it might be spot on. Woody is obviously not over his sexual indiscretions and has been doing a lot to cover them up, but I just don’t know if the writers would make it that obvious. Then there’s Kendall and Aaron Echolls’ cellmate, and, WOW, the scenarios put my head in a tizzy. And to top it all off, the previews for next week show Lucky with a gun, perhaps shooting or killing a student. I’m probably not going to sleep for another two weeks.

What did you think of this episode? Is this THE END for Logan and Veronica? Is the bus crash all Woody, or does Kendall have a say in this?