Walking Dead Recap: Dud

Hello, hello. Welcome to the full recap for The Walking Dead episode 206. This one’s all about secrets. You know how I know that? Because that’s the title the show slapped on this episode. It’s a good thing they didn’t make me work too hard it’s Thanksgiving week and I am already mentally on vacation.

But since we all still have to work at least a few days this week, let’s get to it!

COLD OPEN

THE GREENE’S FARM—BY THE CHICKEN COOP

When we begin the episode lots of stuff is going on. The search for Sophia is quickly winding down as everyone is beginning to accept she won’t be found; Lori is pregnant; and oh yeah, Doc Greene’s barn is full of zombies, and Glenn found out.

This week starts with Lori. She and Carl are out feeding the chickens—it looks like Carl is mostly recovered from the hunting accident by now.

Do I buy that a young boy could have heavy-duty surgery with crude medical equipment and be back on his feet a couple days later? Nope!

They talk about the small flock of chickens. (Is that the right plural form for them? Pride of chickens?) Carl notices one of the chicks is without a mother. Lori tries to smooth this over, suggesting that maybe the chick’s Mom is just “somewhere else”, but Carl is brutally realistic. The hen has been eaten. Everything is food for something else. The zombiepocalypse is clearly changing Carl and Lori is horrified. (Even if it means Carl’s more likely to survive. Yeah…)

And it turns out Carl was right about that hen, because it IS food. Or about to be. Behind them, in the chicken coop, Patricia is holding the hen in her arms and trying to quietly break its leg. The barn looms off in the distance.

Then Patricia is wheeling a sack full of these hobbled chickens toward the barn in a wheelbarrow. She carries them up into the hayloft, and dumps them all down to the zombies below.

Holy shit, there’s like 12 chickens in that feed bag.

Wanna throw away our entire food supply? Sure!

Oh, and that horse from last week, Nellie, comes trotting back to the farm. So I guess Daryl doesn’t have to feel like a total jackass now. Good!

ACT ONE

TEAM RICK’S CAMP

Later, Glenn is peering at the barn through his binoculars. Clearly the secret is burdensome, and even more so because he doesn’t even know WHY the zombies are being kept.

Maggie finds him like this and tells him not to be so obvious. He asks her if she’ll finally tell him what’s going on, and she declines. All she’ll say is that it’s a secret and she wants him to keep it that way. And she hands him a bucket of peaches, and some beef jerky, openly trying to bribe him. Glenn protests that he’s terrible at keeping secrets, to no avail.

And if she had any doubts about that, they’re gone after what happens next. Glenn takes some peaches over to Dale and T-Dog, and when T-Dog casually asks him “what’s up”, Glenn nearly blurts it out.

He’s not gonna last beyond the first commercial break.

DARYL’S TENT

Meanwhile, Daryl is lying on a cot in his tent, still recuperating from last week’s plethora of injuries, looking bored. Andrea stops by with some light reading material, some mystery novel or other, hoping to atone for last week, when she shot him in the head.

Maybe instead of a book she should have brought him a goddamn bandage. Enjoy that sepsis, Daryl

She apologizes again for that, and he lets her twist in the wind a little before forgiving her—she was only trying to protect the group, after all. She meant well. All is well. He even makes a joke as she turns to leave, warning that if she ever shoots him again, she’d better make sure he’s dead.

And that’s that. Sorry, Daryl lovers. That’s all you get this week.

CAMPSITE

After very nearly blowing the zombie-barn secret, Glenn very nearly blows the Lori-pregnant secret. He brings her a peach, but that’s only a pretext for him to ask if she’s told Rick about the pregnancy yet. Still hasn’t. Glenn pushes her to finally nut up and do it. This isn’t just a moral issue, it’s a health issue, too—now that she’s pregnant she’ll need vitamins, extra food, and the like. Glenn even offers to go into town again to get these supplies if she’ll just tell Rick already, but she refuses.

Then, Rick, who’s across the lawn, calls Glenn over to bring the binoculars, and Glenn lingers awkwardly at Lori’s side way too long for it to seem casual.

We are five minutes into the episode.

THE TRUCK

But luckily Rick hardly notices. He, Shane, and that teenager Jimmy from last week are all looking at a map spread out on the hood of the old pickup truck, to plan the day’s activities.

This next part tells you how Team Rick views their stay on Dr. Greene’s farm. Dr. Greene told Rick that he’d allow them to stick around until Carl was healed and until they found Sophia. We know Carl’s pretty much healthy, but the search for Sophia is half-assed at best. Today the only thing planned is for Shane to take a drive out to a housing development they haven’t searched yet. But only after he and Rick take everyone out to a field for gun training. They’re barely devoting any time or people to finding Sophia, yet they’re also not packing up their possessions. Looks like Team Rick is here to stay. This is gonna be a problem.

While they’re planning, Beth and Patricia stop by and ask Rick and Shane to take them along for a gun lesson, too. Rick hesitates. Last episode there was a big stink with Dr. Greene when he let Jimmy come along on the search without Dr. Greene’s explicit permission. Even though Beth and Patricia insist Dr. Greene has given them the go-ahead, Rick still prefers to ask him himself.

THE RV

With their plans settled everyone disperses to get ready. Carl pulls Shane aside to ask him a favor…he wants to learn how to shoot, too. Shane tells him to ask Rick and Lori, but Carl pleads with him to ask on his behalf, totally unaware of what a loaded request that is. (Pun unintended). Shane says he’ll think about it

But then, Shane notices Carl has something in his belt. It’s the .38 they found in that dead guy’s tent in the woods a few episodes back. In other words, a real, loaded gun. In the waistband of the kid who almost died a couple weeks ago.

This is why Al Gore wanted lockboxes, people.

CAMPSITE

Well that’s a problem. Lori gathers Shane, Rick, and Dale to figure out just how the hell Carl got access to the gun in the first place. Dale realizes Carl lied to him. Earlier, Carl asked permission to go into the RV to retrieve a walkie-talkie, so that must be when Carl got it.

Lori’s very upset. Shane tries to back the kid up—he knows Carl took the gun because he wants to learn how to use it, not because he thinks it’s a toy. Maybe, Shane suggests, they should teach him. Rick agrees. In the zombiepocalype, everyone should know how to defend themselves.

Lori hates the idea. Even if it makes logical sense, on a gut level it just feels wrong to her. Carl was just shot!

You see, men are logical and women are emotional. I just wanted to reinforce that notion in case the show wasn’t clear enough.

But really, this is just another losing battle in her struggle to keep Carl from growing up.

They’re at odds, so Carl speaks up for himself. He’s sorry for being dishonest, but he really wants to help look for Sophia and to defend the camp, and he needs a gun.

And Lori gives in. Take THAT, innocence.

THE CAMPSITE, LATER

And now it’s time for everyone to learn how to shoot. They all pile into two cars to head off to the field. Shane notices that Glenn isn’t coming along with them, and Glenn hastily explains Dale wants to teach him some car repair tricks. Dale is visibly caught off-guard, but he covers for Glenn, and Shane and the others head off to the field, leaving the two of them alone.

Glenn’s clearly going to ask Dale for advice. Before they even begin talking Dale already knows something is up, but Glenn still tries to be indirect (“I have this friend who has a secret, see…”). Dale tells him to get to the point, and Glenn just blurts out both secrets.

But Dale never planned to teach Glenn anything and knows right away Dale is after something.

Glenn tries to give him the hypothetical, (If someone told you to keep a secret, etc.), but Dale tells him to spit it out

And Glenn spits out both secrets. The barn’s full of zombies and Lori is pregnant.

THE SHOOTING RANGE

The shooting lesson is in full swing. Everyone has a pistol, and they’re simultaneously shooting bottles that are arranged on a wooden fence.

Everyone except Carol, who will never be trusted with a weapon.

What the hell is she looking at? “Guess I better take a look at that bush over there while my daughter remains missing. Dum de dum.”

The goal is to get everyone to learn how to shoot, and to make as much noise as they’re physically able to. Clearly. And it looks like they’re making progress. Even if Jimmy is firing his Glock in a sideways gangsta grip, which T-Dog tells him to cut the fuck out because he looks stupid.

Shane notices Andrea hasn’t hit her bottle and gives her some encouragement. But she tells him to look again. There’s a “No Trespassing” sign on the fence, and through the binoculars Shane sees three bullet holes all grouped inside the letter “O”. He’s impressed. Then he gives her his Beretta, and she nails a tea kettle target. Shane decides Andrea is ready for his one-on-one “advanced class” after everyone else is done with their lesson.

Andrea looks pretty pleased with herself, but she’s also a bit surprised Shane is so involved with the group these days. After all, just a few days ago she and Shane were fantasizing about fleeing the group together. She asks him what’s made him change his mind.

Shane doesn’t say, he just looks over at Carl. Rick is teaching Carl how to shoot and it’s a very nice little father-son moment. Shane clenches his jaw muscles.

THE STABLES

Apparently now that Glenn has unburdened himself of his two secrets to Dale, Dale has taken it upon himself to do something about them. First, the zombies-in-the-barn thing.

He finds Dr. Greene with Nellie, that dipshit horse that bucked Daryl off last week and just now wandered back to the farm. To protect Glenn, Dale starts telling Dr. Greene a story about how this morning he was on a long walk and wound up by the barn, where he heard the moans.

Dr. Greene doesn’t deny anything. So the only question is, why’s he hoarding zombies?

You’re gonna love this. In Dr. Greene’s mind, the zombies are just people who got sick. The key word is “people”. And he makes a passive-aggressive dig at Dale and the others for killing that zombie in the well two weeks ago.

He is wrong.

Dale tries to be polite, pointing out that in order to become a zombie the person has to DIE first, but Dr. Greene isn’t convinced. They’re people, damn it! (They aren’t). And then Dale learns why Dr. Greene feels this way: because two of those barn-zombies are his former wife and stepson. He is blinded by love and dumbness.

Memo to Dr. Greene: You are wrong about zombies. I don’t care if you’re really good at spaying dogs. You don’t know how science works. Get over it.

Dale sees he won’t be able to change Dr. Greene’s mind, so all he can do is offer to help reinforce the barn so the zombies can’t escape. Even that Dr. Greene doesn’t want. He tells Dale to just keep quiet about it.

And then, Dr. Greene gives Dale a warning…is Dale totally sure he can trust everyone in Team Rick?

ACT TWO

THE FARM

Randomly, Lori seeks out Dr. Greene so they can talk. This is so she and Rick can have a fight in the two scenes.

She finds Dr. Greene in a field mending a fence. (Ironic! Because he’s an asshole!) She’s come to thank him again for saving Carl’s life a few days ago. But rather than accept her thanks Dr. Greene keeps his distance. He reminds her that she and the other members of her group are going to be leaving soon.

Only Lori didn’t already know that.

SHOOTING RANGE

Here’s the advanced class, a log hanging by a rope:

The test is, you’re supposed to shoot the log and not Shane

(I wish)

Shane is swinging the log back and forth to give her a moving target. The object of the lesson is that shooting a static target is one thing, but gunning down a zombie that’s trying to pop open your skull is something else.

But he’s not just giving her a moving target; he’s also trying to rattle her. When she misses her first couple shots, he tells her she’s shooting like a girl. It works. She’s rattled. But she still misses the log.

She tries to argue with him, but to silence her he just pulls out his pistol and shoots the log mid-sentence. That’s how you do it. Try again.

Andrea takes aim again and fires, missing. Shane starts barking in her ear. “Zombies are coming! Quick, shoot them!”

And then he takes it a wee bit too far… “It’s the zombie who got Amy!”

Lesson over.

TEAM RICK’S CAMPSITE

Immediately after getting the shocker from Dr. Greene, Lori confronts Rick. Once she finds out that he did indeed know that Dr. Greene wants them to leave soon, she starts laying on the guilt trip: leaving the farm means the group will be in much dangerous circumstances again and Rick shouldn’t have kept it from them. Not to mention, Carl is just now back on his feet.

Since Wildfire hit, the farm is maybe the best thing that’s happened to the group—they have relative safety, medical treatment, food, shelter, and so on. Lori wants Rick to find some way to get Dr. Greene to let them stay.

Rick tries to justify his actions…he doesn’t really have an answer for why he didn’t tell anyone. He thinks the best way to sway Dr. Greene is to just give him space.

He can see Lori’s face drop. “Here’s their leader, being passive once again.” Rick sees that facial expression daily, and while he can take it from the others, he can’t bear to see it from Lori. So she backs off.

THE ROAD

After the shitshow at the shooting range, Andrea is walking back to the farm alone rather than ride back with Shane. Soon he pulls up behind her in his car and offers her a ride, but she declines.

He tries to explain what he was doing back at the range…you know, trying to train her to use a gun under duress…but admits he went too far. To make it up to her, he tells her about the housing development where he’s going to look for Sophia. He asks Andrea if she’ll do him the honor of being his backup. And she’s placated.

TEAM RICK’S CAMPSITE

Back at camp, more signs of the group settling in. Dale’s rigged up a skillet over the fire and he’s cooking up some meat for everyone.

The smell is making Lori nauseated and she sneaks away to a private spot to ride it out. Dale takes notice.

Like he did earlier with Dr. Greene, he approaches Lori casually with a story, this time about the one time his wife was pregnant. (Miscarriage). He remembers how to scent of meat used to make the wife ill. And then he takes a…pregnant…pause. (Pun intended that time).

And like Dr. Greene earlier, Lori doesn’t try to deny her secret any more. She admits she’s pregnant. She also admits she hasn’t told Rick about it, and Dale supposes that’s because of the Shane factor.

Lori can’t believe Dale knew about that. (He didn’t know for sure, but she just confirmed it). Anyway, that’s not why she’s reluctant to tell Rick. She’s actually positive the baby is Rick’s and not Shane’s, thus squashing any of the dramatic potential that might’ve come out of that.

Lori takes a brief tangent to justify why she hooked up with Shane—it only happened after she thought Rick was dead (bullshit), and she just wanted to feel something.

But no, she hasn’t kept the baby secret because she doesn’t know the paternity. The reason is actually related to what she’s been dealing with this episode, which is, Carl growing up and adapting to the tough world they live in now. It’s difficult for her to reconcile this present Carl with the sweet boy she knew before the zombiepocalypse, and she hates the idea of bringing ANOTHER child to this world.

But most of all: she doesn’t want to give birth in a ditch.

Seriously? The main reason you don’t want to give birth is because there aren’t hospitals any more? You mean, you don’t want to give birth the way women have for 99.9% of human history? That’s what you’re going with?

Memo to Lori: you do not live in 2011 any more. You live in 1811, at least by medical standards. Get over it.

Jesus Christ.

Dale tries to reassure her, saying the world isn’t ALL bad, that it’s still worthwhile to bring a baby into it, but she challenges him to look her in the eye and say he sincerely believes that. And he can’t.

Sorry, Lori. I kinda used up all my wisdom on Andrea back at the CDC. I really only care about her.

ACT THREE

THE FARM

Lori finds Glenn chopping wood. He apologizes for letting the cat out of the bag re: her secrets, but hashing things out with Dale must have made her feel better, because she’s over it. She even acknowledges that she was wrong to put the burden of secret-keeping on him.

“Why are you being nice to me? Are you about to ask me to do something incredibly dangerous again?”

Yes, Glenn, she is. Remember when you offered to go into town to pick up pregnant-lady supplies for her? Well, she’s ready to take you up on that.

Glenn cheerfully agrees to do it, and out of gratitude she hugs him for about a beat too long.

THE ROAD

Shortly later, Glenn and Maggie are once again on horseback, riding into town

She’s giving him the silent treatment. After enough wheedling Glenn finally gets her  to open up (explode). Maggie has since found out from Herschel that the zombies-in-the-barn cat has been let out of the bag, but unlike Lori, she’s quite a bit less forgiving about it

Glenn once again apologizes, but the deed’s been done and there’s not much he can do about it. Instead, he asks her if she views zombies the way her father does. Does she actually believe zombies are still people?

She does. And she doesn’t like when Glenn and the others refer to zombies as “walkers”. Those are her friends and family they’re talking about! She rattles off the names of the zombies out in the barn to prove her point.

THE PHARMACY

They’re back at the pharmacy in that tiny hamlet from two weeks ago. Remember? The one where they banged.

Maggie asks Glenn what supplies they need, but remember, he’s still suppose to keep Lori’s pregnancy a secret as best he can, so he won’t tell her what’s on the shopping list. She scoffs. If he gave up the barn-zombie secret so easily, why is he holding on to this one? Hypocrite.

But actually, Glenn won’t say because he just doesn’t know what the items on the list ARE. He hands it over to her, and she can immediately tell what’s going on, that someone is preggers.

While Glenn rummages around the front of the pharmacy, Maggie disappears behind the counter to sift through bottles of pills. And then things get quiet.

And BOOM!

Finally, something’s gonna be killed. Oh my sweet lord THANK YOU

It’s go time. Glenn hears the commotion and runs to help, but first he needs something big and heavy to beat the damned thing back with. All he can find is a piece of a shelf from the wall. He grabs it, jumps over the counter, and in one good swing almost completely decapitates the unholy monstrosity.

AND IT’S NOT EVEN DEAD

Whoaaaaaaaa, awesome!

Glen grabs the trusty hatchet from his belt to finish the thing off.

Needless to say, Maggie’s freaking out. At least she wasn’t bitten.

I bet Maggie’s beginning to revise her stance on the whole “zombies are people too” issue.

THE HOUSING DEVELOPMENT

Shane and Andrea pull into the housing development and get out of the car. Like everywhere else, it’s deserted and looks like the occupants fled in a hurry.

The plan is to search house by house for any sign of Sophia. Andrea realizes how far this housing development is from the creek where Rick last saw Sophia. This lead is a long shot at best. She’s having a hard time believing that Sophia could have made it so far. She asks Shane what he thinks the chances are, and he doesn’t respond.

TEAM RICK’S CAMP

Glenn and Maggie return from their shopping trip. Maggie is furious, but this time it’s directed at Lori. She finds Lori in camp and dumps the supplies at her feet, listing them off one by one—and we learn that one of the items Lori requested was a pack of morning after pills.

Why is Maggie pissed? She doesn’t appreciate Lori sending them on such a dangerous mission just for some morning after pills.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted an abortion? We have plenty of coat hangers!”

FIELD

Glenn follows Maggie to a field a ways off and tries to calm her down. He even offers to take the blame for putting her in harms way, rationalizing that he shouldn’t have let her come to town with him.

But she’s not really pissed at Lori; she’s pissed at him. She pulls him in and kisses him, leaving him totally confused.

Maggie is starting to really care about Glenn, and she hates seeing him act so passive all the time, whether it’s right now taking the blame for something he didn’t do, or in earlier episodes when he gladly accepted all the dangerous assignments the other people in the group wouldn’t do. Glenn’s smarter and stronger than that and she wants him to act like it, because she doesn’t want him to be zombie food.

Notice she referred to zombies as “walkers” this time. Looks like the denial is dissipating pretty quickly.

DUPLEX

Shane and Andrea kick down the door to one of the houses in the development. Inside it’s dark and full of junk and overturned furniture. There aren’t any signs of recent activity.

They make their way deeper inside and notice the former occupants had tried to barricade the hallway to the garage to make a final stand against the zombies. The gaping hole in the barricade pretty much tells them how that worked out. But just to make sure, they squeeze through the hole and sure enough the next room is full of corpses. But they don’t look mutilated, so what happened?

They go down the stairs and into the garage. It’s filled with charred skeletons. My theory? They walled themselves in and then the house caught fire. Those people upstairs suffocated.

Or, these were Fire Zombies.

They realize this is a dead end. No Sophia. Andrea can’t imagine how they’re going to tell Carol.

But they don’t have much time to reflect on that, because sure enough, there’s a whole friggin’ horde of zombies outside. The garage door is open a crack, just enough for the undead to squeeze through.

They run off.

OUTSIDE

Two streets converge on the spot where Andrea and Shane are standing, and both streets are filled with zombies. They’ll have to shoot their way to their getaway car, so they each pick a street and get to it. Time to see if any of that advanced weapons training paid off for Andrea.

Shane wastes a bunch of them, no problem. Andrea aims at the nearest zombie and pops off a couple rounds, but only hits it in the torso. It barely notices.

Then, her gun jams. Holy shit! The zombies are closing in. Shane struggles to keep them off by himself.

Andrea tries to clear the barrel as one zombie lurches up onto her. She barely gets it clear, but it’s practically on top of her. And then she notices that Shane has lowered his gun. She’ll have to do this on her own. Sink or swim.

And then, her reflexes kick in and she shoots the mofo through the head.

She’s breathless. She can’t believe it! But she doesn’t linger on the moment too long, because now she’s an unstoppable killing machine. She starts mowing down zombie after zombie.

Soon they’ve cleared enough of a path to get to the car, but Andrea isn’t done. She lingers, shooting down four more.

ACT FOUR

THE FARM

Glenn finds Lori back in her tent. She looks guilty as hell…she’s realized why Maggie was so pissed at her and feels guilty for putting them both in danger.

But more than that, Lori is agonizing over the decision she’s about to make. She’s got the morning after pills on the camp stool in front of her. It’s been way more than a morning since she got pregnant, so she’s not sure if they’ll still work. Or if she really wants them to.

Glenn’s got a surprise for her. (No, not sexual advances). Back at the pharmacy he also found some prenatal vitamins for her. And there’s her choice on the table. Prenatal vitamins or morning after pills. Red pill or blue pill.

And Glenn offers his take on the situation, even if it’s not his place…he has no idea whether the should have the baby or not, but he DOES know she shouldn’t make this decision alone.

THE ROAD

Shane and Andrea have made it out of the housing development safely and are driving along back to the farm. Andrea is still coming down from her murder high and looks flush with victory.

And what do you do after you’ve shot down your first zombie? You get some. She reaches over for Shane’s crotch, he stops the car, and pulls her onto his lap.

Yeah, stay in the front seat guys. Nothing’s hotter than fucking with a steering wheel digging into your back

LORI’S TENT

Glenn has left Lori alone now. She breaks open a pill package, looks at the pills. She still hasn’t told Rick.

Don’t do it, Lori! You can’t have an abortion on basic cable!

But lo and behold, she goes for it

Wait, no she doesn’t. She immediately gets buyers’ remorse and runs out of the tent to find a remote spot to hurl before the pills dissolve in her stomach.

TEAM RICK’S CAMP SITE

Shane and Andrea return from their “search”. Dale and Carol greet them. Carol asks perfunctorily if they found anything, and when she hears they didn’t, just wanders away.

But Dale senses something happened between Shane and Andrea. He takes Shane aside to have a chat.

Like he did earlier with Herschel AND Lori, Dale doesn’t come right out with what he wants to say. He starts off by bringing up the time when Shane was considering abandoning the group. Things have settled down a little, Dale says, so maybe Shane should just shove off.

Shane figures Dale is just being overprotective of Andrea, so he insincerely apologizes for doin’ her, but that’s not what Dale is driving at.

Dale has privately held doubts about what really happened the night Shane and Otis made the trip to the high school to secure the surgical equipment. And Herschel’s earlier warning must have pushed him over the edge.

Shane doesn’t try to defend himself. He just tells Dale, in vague terms once again, that Otis died a hero that night.

Then, Dale brings up the time when Shane had Rick in his gun sights and lingered a bit too long. (That was back in episode #105). Knowing about Shane and Lori, Dale’s pretty sure he knows what was going through Shane’s head in that moment.

All this adds up to one thing: Dale knows what kind of person Shane really is.

An amoral fuck? Yeah, that sounds about right

And faced with multiple accusations, Shane turns menacing. If he has the capacity to gun down his own best friend, he tells Dale, imagine what he could do to someone he dislike. Like, say, Dale.

Shane DOES have a point right there. Psychopaths don’t just turn into a puddle of goo when you call them a psychopath. Dale did not think this through very well.

LORI’S TENT

Rick comes into the tent and finds the empty morning after pill packages.

Whoa. Paradigm shift.

FIELD

It’s high time Rick and Lori had a talk. He finds her in a field, not far from where she just vomited.

(This is the 94^th “people talking in a field” scene this week)

From the look on his face Lori can tell he knows, and then she sees the packages in his hand. She immediately tells him she didn’t actually take them, that she threw them up. It’s a start.

Rick asks her how long she’s known. Days? weeks? Rick realizes Glenn of all people knew before he did. He can’t believe she didn’t tell him, nor can he believe she’d make a huge decision like an abortion without consulting him.

She tells him why she’d even consider an abortion in the first place…the thing about the world being horrible, about the baby likely only living a short, brutal life. Even how it’s totally unfair that every time the baby cries it would put everyone else in danger.

The thing is, all these arguments kinda make sense. Rick doesn’t really have anything to counter it. Because the world IS horrible. (Kinda horrible, anyway) He can’t tell her it isn’t. All he can do is make one more promise that they’ll figure it out. Rings more  and more hollow each time.

Neither of them has answers for the really big questions. All Rick can say at this point is that he can no longer stand everyone keeping secrets from each other. He wants to know if Lori has any OTHER bombshells to drop.

Here it is. Moment of truth. After twelve episodes of tension, does she tell Rick about her and Shane?

Yep.

And…he’s cool with it. He can understand why she’d do something like that. She thought he was dead.

It’s totally cool, Lori.

Whatevs.

THE END

I have to get ready for my flight tomorrow, so I’m going to keep this short…

-All that shit Lori’s worried about regarding the baby is sooooo lame. Here’s the deal, Lori: even with zombies, the time period you live in is no more dangerous than most other times in human history. All you have to do is go to a library and get a book that explains how Early Man beat down all the sabre-tooth tigers and shit and had their babies during the freaking Ice Age.

You have guns and cars. Nut up already.

That’s it for me. Next week: the midseason finale! No more new episodes until February 2012. Maybe by then we’ll finally be off this goddamn farm.

Also, Happy Thanksgiving! Unless you’re from some foreign place or other.

Also, Sidney Crosby is healthy. Go Penguins.

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