You’re Cut Off: Inner Beauty

Wow, life is tough at the MCRH when you are not the Very Improved Princess.

Gia reels from Erica being named the VIP of the week and feels intense pressure from everyone who is waiting for her to fail. I would laugh and call her paranoid with delusions of grandeur, however, she has a point. Half the fun of watching this show is seeing how hard it is for them to do the simplest things. Thank goodness she decides to stick it out, or else we wouldn’t be able to watch her fail!

Maybe you can age some more in front of our eyes. Good times.

It should have been great news for the women of the MCRH that the lesson of the week is:

Inner Beauty.

There’s not much we can do about the lack of outer beauty at this point. We have a tiny budget.

Seriously, kids in kindergarten pass this lesson with flying colors. And since we are constantly reminded that this is a group of “girls” (rather than a group of spoiled, privileged, scared-of-aging women over the age of 35), you would think they could handle the day.

In fact, they do just fine at the initial photo shoot, where we actually learn quite a bit about the ladies. For instance, many of them have modeling experience and are comfortable and confident in front of the camera.

Even though the camera isn’t very comfortable with them.

Leanne was Little Miss America three years running at ages 1, 2 and 3. I guess that is a lesson out there for the moms of Toddlers and Tiaras! One day, if pageantry doesn’t work out, your daughter could be on You’re Cut Off!

Sorry, but you’re fat.

Soon, the mood changes when the ladies arrive at the Buddhist temple filled with bad vibes, negative energy, crappy incense and $1 sandals.

That’s a long line of poor right there.

Some of the women are able to overcome and interact with some unsuspecting and undeserving Buddhist monks, but it just didn’t feel right to Chrissy.

I hate bald guys.

Normally, I would support getting out of a situation that doesn’t feel right. I think it is a very important life skill to determine if something is going down at a party, club, or gas station in the middle of the night that is not going to end in a good way. If you get out of that situation, you are a survivor and a smartie!

Not you, of course.

However, Chrissy’s evaluation skills might need some recalibration, since I don’t envision a shooting or a rape or even something as benign as a fight at a BUDDHIST TEMPLE.

I am envisioning something tailored.

Her whole act was disrespectful and Jessica chooses to support it because it gets her out of what she feels is an uncomfortable situation.

Seriously, how did these women decide it was acceptable to be so disrespectful in a place of worship?

Would you guys act like this at the church of Bebe?

While I learned a new phrase, “hot as a Tijuana slut,” I think this language is better suited to bars or even a classroom than a BUDDHIST TEMPLE, where the poor monks are trying to keep a clean mind.

You need to get some condoms on those minds stat.

I especially LOVE Courtnee’s response to the monk’s introduction.

Monk: “According to the teachings of the Buddha, inner beauty is much more important than outer beauty”

Courtnee: “Who cares that I have an attachment to materialistic things because my shoes look good my clothes look good. Who cares as long as it makes me look good?”

I guess Courtnee’s greatest decision in life is what shoes to wear on her path to enlightenment. While you would think that a visit to the Buddhist temple might be the most difficult activity of the day, it’s actually getting back in front of the camera that brings on the tears and panic attacks.

But the camera lies!! I look forty in that thing!

Yes, the camera that they loved just hours before! This time, they are asked to remove some

of their makeup.

Woah. Back away from the camera, Bill Cosby.

Seriously, the makeup, or “Happiness” according to Jessica, is caked on so deep that you can hardly tell the difference between the before and after pictures.

Don’t blame me for the lack of before/after pictures, y’all. They didn’t even show before/after pics of most of the girls in the show.

The change is only noticeable for Chrissy, and truly, she is so much prettier without makeup! Note to Chrissy: please stop wearing all that makeup/happiness! It would also give you back 2 and a half hours a day, 17.5 hours a week, 76 hours a month, 910 hours a YEAR!

You could color a lot of books with that time.

Moving on, it’s an extremely hard challenge for the ladies to remove their makeup and eyelashes.

And socks.

Luckily, they were allowed to keep their weaves and hair extensions (although I think it had to do more with lawsuits than luck), but I really learned a life lesson when Erica discussed how her tiara gives her confidence.

She is vulnerable without it. Maybe that is what my life is missing…a TIARA! Maybe this is why Erica doesn’t fit in at “law school,” because I just can’t imagine walking out the door in a tiara,

much less wearing one to work!

We continue to learn about the inner insecurities of the ladies as they talk to themselves in the mirror. Leanne is proud that she has overcome so much in her life, all the fights she has had with her friends and family. My goodness, bless her heart, that IS a lot to overcome!

What is hard to overcome during this episode is Chrissy’s horrible attitude. She pushes back every chance she gets, so it becomes torture to watch. She is offensive to watch at the Buddhist temple and she disrespects Life Coach Laura during makeup-less photo shoot.

“How do you like the weather today?”

“Fuck you cheap ass fake doctor bitch!”

She continues to disrespect LC Laura when asked to meet individually for a discussion about her involvement with the Program and ultimately is asked to leave.

I agree with LC Laura that it is a shame, because Chrissy is so misguided and making such poor decisions in life, that she has so much room to improve, she could be the Very Improved Princess for the rest of the show!

However, she left that position open for Gia, and by the end of the show, I needed a bran muffin, just like Jessica.

First improvement needed: close your legs.

Next week: Camping!