Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Porter and Preston get all Parent Trap-y with Lynette and Tom; Carlos and Gabby argue about money (what a wonderful and refreshing change for those characters!); Edie gets wind (kind of) of Dave's crap; McCluskey and Roberta return . . . for 30 seconds; and in what is possibly the best plot line this season, Lee takes Susan out for a gay old time! AND. I actually liked this episode!

All it needed was like five more scenes with this chick.

Continue reading "Desperate Housewives: Desperate Housewives: Hatcher Fake Bangs Another Gay Dude" »

Posted in Desperate Housewives by Hypnotoad at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: slutty_whore on Jan 7, 2009 10:00 AM.

***Please welcome another newbie to the TVgasm stable with a show that was just too good to ignore! TVannie with...

Confessions of a Teen Idol is the new VH1 show that promises to reunite 7 former teen idols under one roof and help them try to regain their careers. I have to admit, I'm kind of wondering if there is any drama when 7 men live together or if these guys will just be glad to be back on TV.

God help us.

Continue reading "Confessions of a Teen Idol: Confessions of a Teen Idol: Kick 'em When They're Down" »

Posted in Confessions of a Teen Idol by TVannie at 1:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: wintersux on Jan 7, 2009 10:30 AM.

Happy New Year, Gasmii! Since my last re-cap, I've celebrated the holidays, got sick, got better, celebrated New Years', got drunk and got sick again. But that's nothing compared to what our chickadees in the Momma's Boys manse have been up to, and Seacrest has thoughtfully provided evidence to prove it! So hold your head up high and dont let anyone bring you down about your nude photo shoot (hey, it was college!) and lets get this party started after the jump.

Continue reading "Momma's Boys: Momma's Boys: Pandora's Boxxx" »

Posted in Momma's Boys by PopPrincess at 6:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: PopPrincess! on Jan 7, 2009 09:50 AM.

***Please welcome your newest TVgasm writer into the fold with a show that you guys have been requesting forevs. MissCordy with Brothers and Sisters!

Previously on Brothers and Sisters,

The whole damn show. But, since this is its first appearance on TVGasm (mine too! YAY!), I will give you all a bit of backstory. Though, forgive me for not going into too much detail - if you're reading the recaps, I'll assume you've seen the show before. Plus, the DVDs are out. You have no excuse.

Continue reading "Brothers and Sisters: Brothers and Sisters: A Father's Dream" »

Posted in Brothers and Sisters by MissCordy at 4:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Last Comment:

One of our favorite traditions here at TVgasm is predicting the future. Click here to find out what we got right so far this season, and find out our guesses and add your own for the winter season after the jump!

Continue reading "Previews: TVgasm Winter Predictions: Your Guide to This Season's New and Returning Shows" »

Posted in Previews by Flipit at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
Last Comment: nerrawllehctim on Jan 6, 2009 07:02 PM.

Tonight on The City: Ex-potential boyfriend Alex gives Whit some bad news, which we then get to hear three more times as she tells various people; Jay and Alex almost duke it out; Olivia tries to be interesting; and we get to see the softer side of Kelly Cutrone. I know, right?

It's there. Just not in her face.

Continue reading "The City: The City: Trust Issues" »

Posted in The City by Hypnotoad at 12:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
Last Comment: dani2526 on Jan 6, 2009 09:42 PM.

****OSnapp has found a rich old man to run off with for the winter, and will be back for the next season of The Hills. Please welcome your gorgeous and talented City recapper. You may know him from his Desperate Housewives recaps here at the gasm, or his nude pictorials in Playgirl. Hypnotoad!

This week on The City: Whitney! New City! Big City! Fashion! New friends! Or enemies?! Very, very little drama!

But there is danger. Serious danger.

Continue reading "The City: The City: If She Can Fake It Here..." »

Posted in The City by Hypnotoad at 9:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: J-Mo on Jan 5, 2009 12:24 PM.

Dear Gasmii,

This week the producers at Bravo have officially thrown down the gauntlet to snarky recappers everywhere. Not only do Ryan, Tamra, and Gretchen all cry, but their storylines include such light hearted topics as cancer and miscarriages interspersed with skanky music videos and skankier tattoos. So do you think fatal diseases and personal trauma are enough to give this show a free pass? Hell no!! My darling Bravo, you promised us a show that offers an inside glimpse of the privileged lives led by the wealthy housewives of Orange County. You know, the "Real" housewives. Instead, you've delivered a show that's more about the shady lives of the "real" estate agents of Orange County and their assorted and tawdry families and connections. You've sold your soul Bravo and it's my job to laugh it.

Starting now.

I'd be failing in my duty as a recapper if I didn't advise you to mix yourself a really, really strong drink before plunging into this weeks episode. So, first chugalug and then jump...

Continue reading "Real Housewives of Orange County: Real Housewives of Orange County: Crack Hos And Pathos, Neurotic Mommas And Vixens" »

Posted in Real Housewives of Orange County by YentaPatrol at 2:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (27)
Last Comment: fatgirlsrule on Jan 6, 2009 02:53 PM.

This week the Girl's Next Door visit Barbie Benton, Hef's former gf, at her house in Aspen -- and you KNOW the producers must have drugged, gagged, and bound Holly to get her to go there. No one hates the conniving Barbie and her underhanded insults more than Hollz. But whether they like it or not, the girls spend a night in the Benton's freaky household and it makes for a pretty ridic episode. Let's tuck in!

Can't waaaait!

Continue reading "Girls Next Door: The Girls Next Door: Barbie's Dream Whore House" »

Posted in Girls Next Door by Anglophista at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: J-Mo on Jan 5, 2009 12:38 PM.

Well, readers, we had some of the fiercest competition yet in this season's Auditiongasm and you did a great job of narrowing down the finalists. Keep up the good work!! We did our best to come up with an even better show to recap this time. Sure children's Christmas specials are difficult, but you know what's harder? Getting through an hour of CSI: Miami without cutting yourself. And now, I proudly present, your final two nameless contenders!!

CSI: Miami Recap 1

CSI: Miami Recap 2

Vote or I will smother you with my coolness.

Posted in Auditiongasm by Flipit at 1:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Last Comment:

Greetings from the First Day of 2009 beloved Gasmii! I hope y'all partied and bullshitted all night long, hopefully to the point where you woke up this morning minus your underwear and with unexplained bite marks. You better get some disinfectant on those right away. As for me and the BF, well, we stayed in and watched reruns of "Dynasty" on DVD, shared a sweet kiss at midnight (while Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest battled that little bitch Miley Cyrus for screen time) and then I popped in what at first I took to be an X-rated film...

...Chub-In-Training did Bukkake movies?...

...but then I realized it was just a new episode of Double Shot At Love (so it's really only soft-core porn) and that Chubbsy Scott apparently has no qualms about appearing on TV covered in what looks like rancid seminal fluid. If he was dislikable before, he becomes even more so tonight, not to mention he decides to give the Ikki Twins a truly stupid ultimatum. Oh, and Gay Nick makes everybody (including himself) cry. Be sure to grab a sex-towel and some liquid-sanitizer, because you're going to feel pretty dirty and disgusted after you see what this episode has in store after the jump...

Continue reading "Double Shot at Love: Double Shot At Love: Either He Goes, Or I Go!" »

Posted in Double Shot at Love by J-Mo at 6:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Last Comment: waffleboy09 on Jan 5, 2009 05:05 PM.

Hey everybody! I hope you all had a great Christmas and that Santa Claus brought you that extra special gift you were looking for. I must have pissed him off big time this year, because he delivered 14 people directly to my house for Christmas Dinner, and my nieces and nephew decided to play Let's See Who Can Scare The Kitties Into Puking First. They also ate all of my goddamn Holiday M&Ms. I had to console myself with beer and Christmas Cookies (the kind that have those hard little silver balls on them that crack your teeth) and eventually I felt sufficiently snowplowed enough to bring myself to watch this week's episode of Top Chef...

...where they were apparently making Deep Fried Sex Dolls...

...but then I remembered that that's not my show, and I realized I was actually watching Double Shot At Love, where men are men, and some of the women wish they were, too. Pull up a plate of reheated Christmas Ham & Cheesy 'Tatoes and let's pig out together before New Year's Resolutions reduce us to cottage cheese and celery sticks, K?

Continue reading "Double Shot at Love: Double Shot At Love: Extra Pieces Of Candy" »

Posted in Double Shot at Love by J-Mo at 8:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: Snootchy Bootches on Jan 3, 2009 02:03 PM.

Oh my sweet 'Gasmini, I apologize for my extreme tardiness in recapping, but Jesus was totally on my ass to go to his birthday party this year and I had to oblige. By the time I write this, two "Hills" alumni have already launched their spinoff careers and Heidi's probably looking about as fresh as three-day-old focaccia bread. So let's jump into it. On last week's season finale, Heidi and Lauren share an awkward moment, Pigpen emulates Spencer, and just about every character manages to surprise me. Except Blahdrina. Which is how she got her nickname in the first place.

Continue reading "The Hills: The Hills: Non-Wedding Of The Century" »

Posted in The Hills by O. Snapp at 6:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
Last Comment: BlahBlah on Jan 4, 2009 04:40 AM.

Happy Holidays, Gasmii! NBC's present to us all is a two-hour episode of Momma's Boys. My present to you, darling readers, is a more photo-heavy recap, just like you asked for. So, let's settle in and get right into it. And remember, no re-gifting!

Continue reading "Momma's Boys: Momma's Boys: Happy HO-lidays!" »

Posted in Momma's Boys by PopPrincess at 3:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: J-Mo on Jan 3, 2009 01:03 PM.

As a fourth grader, I had a recurring role in the famous Crystal Cathedral's Glory of Christmas pageant show as a shepherd child and the incense bearer for the Gold King. The smoky incense made audience members choke, but my carpool ride was almost the girl who played Claudia in The Baby-sitters Club movie. Almost. My one moment in the spotlight was when a real live camel kicked me as it exited the stage, taking out my left ankle and knocking me flat on my face. Right into a pile of sheep poop. All of three people noticed and applauded.

Continue reading "Christmas Specials: Frosty the Snowman: I want a Frosty With a Side of Greenhouse Gas, mmmkay?" »

Posted in Christmas Specials by T.Vo | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: bone on Dec 26, 2007 07:27 PM.