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90210
About Last Night
American Idol
America's Best Dance Crew
Amazing Race
Bad Girls Club
Biggest Loser
Celebrity Rehab
Desperate Housewives
Dollhouse
Drag Race
Fantasia for Real
Flash Forward
Fringe
Gossip Girl
Heroes
Jersey Shore
Kell on Earth
Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Launch My Line
Lost
Melrose Place
Millionaire Matchmaker
Models of the Runway
Project Runway
Real Housewives of Orange County
Real World
Real World and Road Rules Challenge
RuPaul's Drag Race
Salon Takeover
Secrets of Aspen
Shear Genius
Styl'd
Survivor
The Bachelor
The City
The Hills
Toddlers and Tiaras
Tool Academy
Trailer Trash
Trashback
Ugly Betty
Undercover Boss
V
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On tonight's episode of Project Runway, the designers team up to create works inspired by New York neighborhoods. Wait a minute. Haven't we seen this challenge before? I swear we have. One of the designers was inspired by graffiti? Help me out here, Gasmi!
I'm coming up with nothing. I block out the seasons as soon as they're over to retain my sanity.
Continue reading "Project Runway: Project Runway: New York's Finest?" »
Time for the Germany leg we've all been waiting for! How do we know when we're in Germany?! Cause when lipstick goes from butch to bitch, you know you're watching "THE AMAZING RACE" German-style! SHIZA!
Our lovable Cowboys are the first to depart and discover they're off to Hamburg, Germany! Yeah! They must be so psyched to be headed to the home of the Whopper. (You know they're thinking it.)
Continue reading "Amazing Race: The Amazing Race: She's Got Hiiiigh Hopes!" »
I was seriously hoping this would be the week that Simon would rip off his shirt, climb up on stage, makeout with Gaycrest, then cover his hairy moobs with baby oil and work a pole to the tune of "Pour Some Sugar On Me." To my dismay, this did not occur. Want to find out what happened anyway? Come on in, yo.
Continue reading "American Idol: American Idol: Results Show" »
OK kids, there's no time to dilly-dally. Let's get this 90210 recap started!
GO!
Another week, another set of bozos. Welcome back to Millionaire Matchmaker, my 'gasmic friends. This week, we meet a narcissistic gay entrepreneur who thinks he's the organic bee's knees, and we watch a ball-busting millionairess...bust some balls. I'm pretty sure these two won't be counted in Patti's "very high success rate". Either way, it was slightly entertaining, so follow me!
Hey kids! Sorry for the delay... don't be mad like, ya know, angry lesbians that might gut me and feast on my internal organs while I'm still alive. "But they're just friendly lady lovers!" you might say. No. Maybe they once were but now they are Satan's little muffin lovin' children. WHY!? Because they've chosen the dark path of "THE AMAZING RACE"!
Teams start off where they left in Hamburg, Germany and the Private Dicks will be the first to head out. I'm still in shock that these two are in first. I blame The Beatles. However, there's a little twist this leg! Teams are being bussed to a random location and starting from there! That's pretty neat. Although it would've been much cooler if they drugged them and woke them up while they were all dangling over a cliff. Just saying. WHY am I not working for this show?!
Continue reading "Amazing Race: The Amazing Race: Remorse Code!" »
Last night, Project Runway whipped out some team challenge action, the Models bored us to death, and Flash Forward returned from rehab.
Remember me?
Labor Day seems like a long way off at the moment but let's relive last year's with the NYC bitches, eh? Grab your old checkered tablecloth with the stains from queer Tony's pitcher of purple hooters and throw down mom's best chinette plates. Load them up with equally heaping helpings of BBQ pork and booze fueled indelicate conversation, and Bam! You've got yourself a great time.....until Uncle Steve pinches your ass or Aunt Mary calls you fat behind your back. Ah, summer. I can't wait.
Greetings, beloved readers! I'm so excited to be recapping a brand new show! No more fluff for me this time around, thank you very much. Today we embark on an existential journey of epic proportions together. A journey that will take us to the very depths of the human soul. For this purpose we need a very special host. One who understands suffering and longing. One who seeks to know more.
Last night in TVland, The dude in the Panda hat met the wind of Obama's helicopter, minority hair is hard to do, Betty met her boy twin, and Skara still didn't get kicked off Idol.
Made it through another week!
Continue reading "About Last Night: About Last Night: Real World, Ugly Betty, and Shear Genius" »
Nothing can compare to last week's amazing episode of Damages, but this week's installment was still a treat! Maybe it was the luck of the Irish, (St. Patrick's Day is this week) but everyone seemed to come out a winner, especially the viewers, who got their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in the form of Ted Dansen, who FINALLY resurfaced as smarmy Arthur Frobisher. His long-overdue return was accompanied by the arrival of guest star Craig Bierko, who's lucky to be working at all. Ellen ran into Patty's estranged son and his pregnant cougar girlfriend, and was lucky she didn't get slapped in the face when she made the hilarious, bonehead mistake of congratulating Patty and calling her a grandma! Patty then tried to make Jill an offer she couldn't refuse, but it was no such luck. Tom greased a few palms all over town, as both he and Joe Tobin saw their money troubles ease up a little bit. But it was crazy Carol who was the luckiest lass of them all. In a desperate bid for attention, she decided to go missing - and the trick worked! Everyone rallied to find her, leaving no Krispy Kreme or Coldstone unturned. Luckily, our resident leprechaun Leonard Winstone found her hiding out in Brooklyn with a mysterious, yet familiar ally, who turned out to be her accomplice in Danielle Marchetti's murder!
Continue reading "Damages: Damages: Happy St. Patty's Day" »
Sober House. Where people go when they like to do drugs, drink their damn brains into shapeless ice cream cakes and sex it up with anyone who asks, to learn how to talk like Mack, be the bore at parties and say no to their fifth blow job of the night. Never again will they taste a good Treasure Hunter cabernet blend, or strange spooge. Everyone is going to get clean and healthy! They will all be good law abiding citizens! After one more wee binge, that is. Just one itty bitty snort fest, just one more dance with the pipe. It won't hurt, right? Just one?
Hi Gasmi, Waffleboy here filling in for Flipit who is taking a much deserved vacation south of the border, that hopefully is featuring plenty of beach time, good food, fun, and maybe a telenovela recap or two. Anyway, you're stuck with me for this recap, and if you keep making that face, it's going to stay that way.
Seeing as It's Rolling Stones night, that a pretty cool segue into last night's episode, huh? Also it's fun to notice just how much Mick Jaeger is looking like Ruth Gordon as he gets older.
Anyway, enough segueing, let's make the jump and find out just what the hell happened on American Idol last night.
Continue reading "American Idol: American Idol: Scream It Like You Mean It" »
This week on the Race . . .
Continue reading "Drag Race: Drag Race: I Love Rock and Ho" »
We open this week's Ugly Betty with Hilda, Justin, and Betty all brushing their teeth together because God forbid they should wait 90 seconds for someone to finish. And where does Hilda need to be that she couldn't wait longer? Betty is wearing an unfortunate purple sequined beret (seriously?) that luckily both Justin and Hilda end up spitting on when they all decide to rinse. This is why there are so many holiday alcoholics - because of families!
Continue reading "Ugly Betty: Ugly Betty: Four Mexicans in One Apartment? LUXURY!" »
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