Back in Washington, President Palmer 2.0 was ready to do his own ass-kicking, via an orderly meeting with as many high level officials as possibles. The general consensus was that Fayed had to be state funded to pull this attack off, but that only left the group wondering who could be behind such dastardly deeds? Well, it didn't really matter for one hawkish army admiral who advocated the systematic nuking of various Islamic countries. This idea caused Wayne's inner Palmer Morality Meter to bleep out of control, and when he tried to go for a more rational solution, the admiral would not hear it. He continued to push for carpet nuking until weaselly Thomas Lennox barked back, "The President is talking, Admiral! DO NOT INTERRUPT!" Yes, only he can interrupt. No one else. And with that, Thomas promptly returned his nose to Wayne's ass where it's been happily residing all season.
As for Wayne, he was still feeling guilty about negotiating with Fayed earlier in the day. Let's not forget that by assenting to putting the "Freedom Fighters" on that plane, Wayne had essentially allowed that evil engineer to return to civilization and set off the nuclear bomb. Yes, it was gonna be a long day for the President, and it wasn't about to get much better. Karen Hayes then announced the worst case scenario for the crisis: Fayed was still alive and in possession of the remaining bombs. Why do these officials even bother calling it a "worst case scenario"? They're implying that there's ever a "best case scenario," which there most certainly isn't. It's not like we've ever had a season of 24 when the terrorist has opened a metal briefcase to reveal not an atomic bomb but several teddy bears and a dancing Coke can. It just doesn't happen.
Meanwhile, over at CTU, everyone's favorite terrorist, Hamri Al-Assad, had arrived but was greeted by an icy cold reception from Bill Buchanan. Assad announced that he was not the enemy -- he just wanted peace -- but when he extended his hand, Bill just let it hang there, refusing to touch the man who had killed so many innocents. Awwwkward. C'mon, bro! Don't leave him hangin'! It's Assad! You're old buddy! Give him some skin!
"C'mon Bill. Don't act like you didn't root for me in Syriana..."
Anyway, Bill and Nadia questioned Assad about Fayed and the bombs and whatnot. The best he could offer up was the name of a Russian General who had provided Fayed with his weapons. His name was Dmitri Gredenko (or something like that), and after the commercial break, Morris assembled a list of all the people this guy had been in contact with for the last few months. And wouldn't you know it? There was a name that popped out on the list. Who was it? President Logan? Walid Al-Rezani? NINA? Worse. It was Jack's dad. Dunh dunh dunh!!!
Well, CTU called up Jack and informed him that his paterfamilias might be mixed up in this whole mess, thus beckoning eerie (or perhaps lazy) echoes of last year's Christopher Henderson storyline. A father figure betraying Jack? Now I've heard it all!
Meanwhile, at the public school cum Islamic detainee center, the FBI decided they wanted Walid to perform a sting operation on those shady terrorists by the jungle gym. Of course, Sandra Palmer was not happy about this as she justifiably wanted to know why a trained agent wasn't being used instead. The FBI guy claimed it was because Walid had already established a level of trust with these guys, which was amusing because Walid had been detained for a total of about ninety minutes so far. It's not like he'd been underground for six months. Just throw another patsy in there, beat him up a little, and let the moths gravitate to his flame.
Nevertheless, in an effort to further convince the playground terrorists that Walid was one of them, the FBI suddenly stormed the yard, grabbed Walid, and hurled him in the bathroom where they simultaneously yelled at him and wired him at the same time, occasionally pausing to deliver a swift punch. Sandra was left with nothing to do but shriek with feisty determination, clearly unable to harness that Palmer Cool that her brothers pull off so well.
« Recap: Battlestar Galactica: Final Five, Chosen One & A Couple of Bitch Slaps | Main | Recap: I Love New York: 12 Morons In The Bed, and The Little One Said, "Drink a live bee." »
Comments (24)
It's probably no more plausible, but . . . . Jack asked Chloe if Grey-ham was still at the Malibu address. She said no he's in Indian Hills? I think. Anyhow, not Malibu. . . .
1 of 24 | Posted by em
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 1:50 PM
Great recap, B-Side. I am so glad you and J-Unit are still writing them. The 24 recaps are how I first fell in love with tvgasm, you nymphs you.
The show started disappointingly. The helicopter scene was a dumb non sequitur. I thought the family connection was too soap opera-ish but when Jack pulled out that lamp wire I knew it was ON. Say, Grey, did you know Paul Raines?
2 of 24 | Posted by Jennifer30309
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 2:02 PM
Eww, why are the screencaps "fullscreen" and not widescreen?
3 of 24 | Posted by gamera87
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 2:11 PM
Pure Genius, "It's not like we've ever had a season of 24 when the terrorist has opened a metal briefcase to reveal not an atomic bomb but several teddy bears and a dancing Coke can. It just doesn't happen."
I figured that kid was probably Jack's son too.
And Walid is gonna be dead soon (if I had to guess based on the terrorist at the playgrounds response)
4 of 24 | Posted by cincy_josh
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 2:25 PM
They mentioned that the vice-president had been notified, but didn't say who that was AND there were no gender pronouns used (he or she). I'm secretly hoping its Martha Logan!!!
5 of 24 | Posted by lovinit
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 3:00 PM
I really really wished I could have seen your and J-Unit's reaction when it was revealed that Gray is Jack's brother - and also when Jack punched him in the face. I am not sure I like the whole love child twist, how does it fit into the timing of the back story? The kid is younger than Kim, so could that be the reason Jack and Teri were separated? But no wonder Gray is an evil guy - if you are the brother of Jack Bauer then there is nothing you can ever do to be better than your brother, except to be an evil American shadow conspiring with terrorists.
6 of 24 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 7:10 PM
By the way...Regina King was "Brenda", not "Sauuuuundra."
7 of 24 | Posted by realitybred55
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 7:46 PM
"Bitch, I know you might be scared, but use a damn crosswalk!"
That was so friggin funny I thought the same thing
8 of 24 | Posted by luvly_grrl
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 8:03 PM
Yesss! Torture within the first 5 hours, this really is turning into a great season.
At first, I thought the blonde girl that the British guy picked up was Kim Bauer. That would have been an interesting twist, Kim working for the bad guys too.
9 of 24 | Posted by mangos
|
Posted on January 23, 2007 9:50 PM
Thanks for recapping this awesome/retarded ep, B-Side. And don't fret--the Cheddar Bay biscuits at any Red Lobster are equally delicious.
I'll also be pissed if Berooz doesn't reappear this season...is it too early for him to suddenly become Chloe's new operator buddy? He could be the new Kim.
Other random observations:
1. Regina King sucks!
2. The random, seemingly inconsequential dude Jack rescued from the helicopter will lead us to an inevitably lame subplot.
3. I wasn't buying the level of chaos in the streets of the greater L.A. area. Confused girl running across moderately populated backlot does not a nuclear holocaust make. The limits of 24's production values reached!
4. Did anyone else notice that suddenly Jack Bauer's family controls the fate of the entire nation...and that 24 suddenly morphed into Metal Gear Solid? Still, absurd and shark-jumping as it's become...I'm loving it.
10 of 24 | Posted by shank
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 12:11 AM
Yeah, B-Side; how DID Wayne get to be Prez? Was there some special election in those 20 months? And what qualified him?
That helicopter thing-unnecessary, but must have been put in to show Jack's prowess at coming back to his normal, superhuman self. But he couldn't have opened that helo door with a flimsy TV antenna the way he did.
Is it me or is Peter McNicol hamming things up with his "reasonable, calm" demeanor? He talks like a goddamned robot, for Christ's sake! Even his rebuke to the argumentative admiral was said in an even, boring voice. I still say he'll turn out to be in cahoots with the terrorists.
I was blown away when we discovered Dr. Romano (Grey) was...Jack's BROTHER? Why was this fact not known last year when he was pulling all the strings to kill his brother and a whole bunch of other people? Why didn't President Pussy narc on him after he was apprehended? In fact, where the hell is President Pussy? I read somewhere Martha's going to be in the cast a little later on, so maybe there's hope.
So far, so good, and Fayed is the easiest-to-hate terrorist so far.
Bring back the hoodie of inexhaustible gadgetry!
11 of 24 | Posted by Tony A.
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 5:34 AM
The family that tortures togather.... Stays togather!
12 of 24 | Posted by NickelBagofFunk
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 5:40 AM
I thought that was Kim too mangos. I figured she would jump in the car and be like what's up Grandpa making all of Jack's family evil. No such luck. :-)
13 of 24 | Posted by cincy_josh
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 5:57 AM
This has next to nothing to do with this particular episode of 24 but I was watching the incredibly lame Vegas Vacation this weekend and I'm fairly certain that Nadia was playing Audrey Griswold.
14 of 24 | Posted by wniffene
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 6:33 AM
Powers Boothe as the vice-president? F-ing right!
15 of 24 | Posted by Firthguy
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 9:42 AM
B-Side,
With all due respect to J-Unit and everyone else, you are THE BOMB!
Keep up the good work.
(But don't expect to take over my Jack Bauer man crush)
16 of 24 | Posted by Testiculon
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 10:28 AM
Firthguy---Powers Boothe???? Cy Tolliver as the VP???? That would be TOOOOOO fuckin' awesome!!!
It was a literal OH MY GAWD moment when they revealed that Bluetooth Mafia man was Jack's bro. I mean, damn....and when Jack pulled out the lamp cord, I could smell burning Paul Raines. But,as my friend Lisa says, Jack has over 101 uses for a lamp cord!! She also has a theory that the Goddamn paterfamilias of the Bauer clan is who McCarthy is trying to get to hook up the nukes.
Oh, and I totally agree with the Jack love child idea. Nice to see Rena Sofer get out of that wheelchair that Nathan put her in.....
I LOVE Monday nights now!!!!
17 of 24 | Posted by cruella_deville
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 11:30 AM
LOVED the Wes grows up to be Graham comment. So true - that's what the Human Marshmallow will look like when he's old and bald.
Yeah, if that kid turns out to be Jack's kid that's gonna be lame.
President Wayne sucks. So. Much. Ass. The only scenes I'm digging are CTU and Assad scenes. And Assad's about to head to DC - can't wait to see how short that flight is in 24time.
18 of 24 | Posted by pbjunkie
|
Posted on January 24, 2007 2:21 PM
Is it wrong for me to giggle like a 6th grader at a torture scene? That was freakin' AWESOME! Go ahead, Jack, and introduce bro to the world of pain.
Romano being Jack's brother is a kick-ass twist, btw. Of course, now I'll have to fire up my Season 5 DVDs to review Graham's many phone conversations.
Rena Sopher, Marisol Nichols...evidently 24 raided the "Blind Justice" cast list bargain bin (sigh, tragic that I know that). It's just a matter of time until Ron Eldard shows up to temporarily replace a misunderstood Bill Buchanan.
19 of 24 | Posted by HicksPub
|
Posted on January 25, 2007 8:18 AM
A little late, but here's the URL on where I found out about PB (Powers Boothe, that is..) 3rd paragraph down.
http://www.torontosun.com/Entertainment/Television/2007/01/24/3438059-sun.html
I agree with Wayne Palmer sucking as the president. I thought my stereo settings were screwed as I could barely hear what the hell he's saying half the time over the background music. Speak Up! And his speech at the end of this episode... Ugh. He sounds like he's either a) constipated, or b) has to go #2 reallllly bad.
20 of 24 | Posted by Firthguy
|
Posted on January 25, 2007 11:39 AM
B-Side - you ROCK! I was thoroughly entertained by your recap!
I can't believe Dr. Romano is Jack's brother! Never saw that coming. I'm sure that boy is Jack's love-child. Is that why Blue-Tooth Man hates him so much? I see that James Cromwell is playing Jack's father. It would have been awesome if they got Donald Sutherland!
I've said from the 1st episode that I think Wayne Palmer is a totally unbelievable Prez. I mean , c'mon, did he hold any other political office before he became the President? And being his older, more awesome brother's errand boy doesn't count! Someone correct me if I'm wrong..
Hopefully we'll see more of Martha and perhaps her loverboy Aaron the Secret Service guy!
21 of 24 | Posted by Jojobear
|
Posted on January 25, 2007 11:43 AM
OMG - LOVE the twist that Romano is Jack's bro - love it even more that Jack isn't taking any crap from him.
Funny that so many of us thought that boy to be Jack's love-child. Now, in a way, I hope he's not...I like the UNpredictable.
btw, Jojobear, I SWORE I heard Kiefer say in an interview that Donald would be in the show this season - so I was shocked when they showed JC. I wonder if something changed.
22 of 24 | Posted by livemusicjunkie
|
Posted on January 25, 2007 1:10 PM
Palmer 2.0(hilarious btw) "American Public" count = 22, God say something else! Do you remember Marilyn played on Melrose Place and was pure evil.... The role fits her actually. Bauer quote of the day "If you attempt to yell I will rip your tongue out"... something like that!
23 of 24 | Posted by couchpotato
|
Posted on January 27, 2007 2:47 PM
No, Rena Sofer as "Eve" on Melrose Place only went nuts in the final two episodes as a result of recovering lost memories. She was nuts, not "pure evil."
24 of 24 | Posted by gamera87
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 3:59 PM